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Perhaps If I Fantasized

Perhaps if I fantasized,
I'd find less time to be critical.
Perhaps if I adorned my eyes with blinders.
I wouldn't mind bumping against the decadence.
And convince myself.
What I've done is run into a flower,
That has grown releasing into the air.
Fresh floral scents.
And not the garbage that is there.

Perhaps if I fantasized,
I'd find more time to be surprised.
That I could actually do it!
With the covering of my eyes,
After a long tote on crack.
And believing myself to be a fire hydrant.
Soliciting strays dogs passing by to attract.
Perhaps if I fantasized.
Like many I would not recognize reality.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Myths and Legends

Some people are saying...
They are afraid one day to wake up,
And not see an America they recognize!

Perhaps they do not realize this...
But they have been asleep for a very long time.
And an awakening occurring tomorrow,
For a return to yesterday...
Is not a recommendation.

Not for those already fantasized,
By myths and legends!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Scavenger Hunt

It is important to them.
Why aren't you participating?

'It's been important for the past 50 years.
And what is clear to them now,
Has faded from my top ten long ago.
Oil and water just does not mix.
Even when vinegar has been applied to it.
No matter how 'sweet' those rancid apples use to appear.

Now that those who have grown older,
Find deceit and their dishonesty losing appeal.
They want to quote scriptures.
With an undying love to uplift their fellowmen.
As if the bitterness they've consciously inflicted,
Is going to vaporize and disappear.

I prefer not to be exposed to that much magic.

Pretense is important to them.
They wouldn't recognize truth or reality,
If lit with neon lights in a clear night sky!
Everything about them has been fantasized.
They are mutants of affectations.
And fearing anything that remotely exposes truth.
That's why I am not participating,
To uncover the 'known' in such a 'scavenger hunt'.
I've forgiven.
But not yet stupid enough to forget.'

It's just a reunion!

'Of what? '

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Fantasized Enchantment

'What is Love,
If there is no wounding done? '

Fantasized enchantment.

'I'm not asking you.
You've been wounded too many times.
I'm asking that delicious dish,
In the back of the room!
You're new with us at Bible class,
Aren't you?

You, young lady.
What is love,
If there is no wounding done? '

~Please...
Can you direct your question to someone else.
I use to be a man before I went through post-op.
Now I've changed my mind.
So much I did not take into consideration.~

'Well...uh,
OH!
Uh...well.
Let's change the subject.'

Reverand Smith?
I think 'Fantasized Enchantment',
Would be a good topic.
And an appropriate one to talk about.
Perhaps you have a recent wound,
You would like to share and discuss with us?
Reverand Smith...?
Hello?
Reverand Smith?

'Let us pray.
To be forgiven of 'our' misunderstandings.
With a trust that The Almighty accepts our decisions.'

With an emphasis on our temptations?

'Bowed heads with eyes closed, please!
Thank you.'

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Holiday Sentiments

Get real!
With yourself,
And circumstances...
You've been dealt.

Reality comes!
And nothing that it brings,
Will be fantasized for 'caroling'
Welcome this as an awakening gift,
Of your joy!
Experience your 'fresh'...
And newly discovered focus.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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This Stuff Is Blatant

My observations aren't created.
Rarely embellished are they envisioned.

I see what I see.
And hear what I hear.
Ignoring what is there,
I do not make that decision.

I am one of those probing nosey people.
Wanting to comprehend with a reason,
To question 'why'?
I can be analytical if I wish.
But what I observe...
There is little need for it.

This stuff is blatant!
For open eyes to satiate.
Blatant with a rawness,
Hard for some to digest.
I guess that is why so many folks,
Delude themselves with pretentions.
Preferring lives fantasized,
To moralize what upsets.

This stuff is blatant,
Oh yes.
There in black and white!
But I understand why,
Some choose to camouflage this in disguise.
So much truth conflicts with a resistance to reality.
And reality is much despised.

This stuff is blatant!
For open eyes to satiate.
Blatant with a rawness,
Hard for some to digest.
I guess that is why so many folks,
Delude themselves with pretentions.
Preferring lives fantasized,
To moralize what upsets.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Even If Fantasized

How I feel and use words to interpret those emotions
Has nothing to do with you
And I know
You believe yourself to be at the core of my being
But you are not! Even if fantasized

How I depict my experiences with justified merit
Is 'my' therapy
Go find your own
And I'm hoping your therapy does not include agitation
With a mission to sniff every crack I walk on

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Drops of It Hitting Shores Everywhere

Feed me unfed delusions.
If you believe me to be that unconscious.
Too slick and greasy has been the sleaze.
Even as I observe the deceit,
You wish to keep my mind fantasized.
And me kept fast asleep!

Feed me unfed delusions.
If you believe me to be that unconscious.
Too slick and greasy has been the sleaze.
Even as I observe the deceit,
You wish to keep my mind fantasized.
And me kept fast asleep!

But how can you keep such a stench out of the air?
How can you keep drops of it hitting shores everywhere?

Feed me unfed delusions.
If you believe me to be that unconscious.
Too slick and greasy has been the sleaze.
Even as I observe the deceit,
You wish to keep my mind fantasized.
And me kept fast asleep!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Bets Will Not Be Placed On Them

If you truthfully want to comprehend,
And understand.
Remove yourself from your comfort zone.
Do not profess ownership claimed,
Of anything you have a concept...
That sistains and maintains.
Make an attempt to forget your name...
For purposes to remain incognito!
And what you overheard thought fantasized...
By passersby as you sunshaded your eyes,
Behind 'foster grants'.
Will frighten you into reality!
Hop on a bus wherever you are.
Take a city wide tour.
Your beliefs will instantly find competition!
And my bets will not be placed on them to win,
Place or show!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If I Had Not Moved To Knock

If I had not moved to knock,
On the door of opportunity...
We would not have come to recognize,
Similarities that have become familiarized.
If I had not moved to knock.

If I had not moved to knock,
Or stopped because of overwhelming insecurity...
The me you've grown to know,
Would be ignored on the street.
With other faces that go unnamed.
If I had not moved to knock.

But something inside my heart,
Pushed me beyond my own limitation.
I dared to know what was on the other side,
Of a fantasized reality...
I needed to witness and touched.
And if I had not moved to knock,
You and I would not have been possible.
Or any other imagery realized.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Egos Addicted

Images are needed,
By a society fantasized...
With hyped perceptions.
At the expense of an enforced,
Dwindling greed.

How can egos addicted,
Keep from bleeding?
How can selfishness worshipped...
Be curbed?
Stopped!
And no longer serving,
Those disturbed in denial fits!

Images are needed,
By a society fantasized...
With hyped perceptions.
At the expense of an enforced,
Dwindling greed.

And those elected to protect their 'treats',
Find they've become accountable...
To ease a reality upon these minds.
Teasing them with beliefs of victory!
When deceit and defeat...
Has surrounded them for sometime!

How can selfishness worshipped...
Be curbed?
Stopped!
And no longer serving,
Those disturbed in denial fits!

How can egos addicted,
Keep from bleeding?

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Fixed In A Stubbornness

Fantasized with a clinging onto old myths,
Has not only continued to destroy with obviousness...
The value lacking they have in all of their relationships.
Their addictions fixed in a stubbornness,
Will not open their eyes to become aware of this.
But accusations stay and with them to exist,

Every warning face with messages delivered,
They have ignored.
Every chance to self examine with an honesty,
Has been refused to explore...
The maintaining of wishes they can not dismiss.
They view themselves as having 'character'.
And not suffering from severe defective mental illness.

Fantasized with a clinging onto old myths,
Has not only continued to destroy with obviousness...
The value lacking they have in all of their relationships.
Their addictions fixed in a stubbornness,
Will not open their eyes to become aware of this.
But accusations stay and with them to exist,
With a blaming of others for their own failures.

And a hope they have to change their leadership,
With a strengthening of their myths...
Will erase their pains they have self inflicted,
As well as relinquish them...
From all aspects of their foolishness to add even more,
Sweetness.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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How Much More

How much more
Can a love be loved,
When that love that is given...
Is like none other?

How much time
Should one wait to find,
A love to discover...
That one is not restricted with
To exist within limits someone inflicts.

Unconditional is that love that lifts,
From minds not pre-occupied with it!
Or fantasized to pleasure and tease.
As something on a list,
Required as a prerequisite!

How much more
Can a love be loved,
When that love that is given...
Is like none other?

How much time
Should one wait to find,
A love to discover...
That one is not restricted with
To exist within limits someone inflicts.

Expectations and preferences,
Finds one living life with regrets and disappointments.

Dismissing one's looks,
As a book unread...
Yet accepting a physicality,
Without chemistry...
Delivers a reality!

How much more
Can a love be loved,
When that love that is given...
Is like none other?

How much time
Should one wait to find,
A love to discover...
That one is not restricted with
To exist within limits someone inflicts.
Or deal with a second hand romance...
Taking a chance,
That whatever isn't there...
May with time be forced to fit!
How much more,
Can one put up with this?

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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This Introduction of Truth

They can not stand it anymore...
The confrontation with reality.
It is much too big for them to ignore.
And many lay awake restless,
Without a bit of sleep...
Deep in an unconscious snore!

A valued lifestyle for them has ended.
A blocking of delusions,
From them has been suspended.
The 'rumors' of truth has affected their minds.
They wish to pursue a tranquil existence.
And leave the 'presentation'
Of this 'interpretation' of such a rawness...
Behind.

It is driving them out of their fantasized minds!
This introduction of truth...
They did not select or choose!

They can not stand it anymore...
The confrontation with reality.
It is much too big for them to ignore.
And many lay awake restless,
Without a bit of sleep...
Deep in an unconscious snore!

And afraid they are...
Of what comes next,
To knock on their doors.

So they peek to see...
Even in 'safe' neighborhoods,
They've lost their ability...
To secure a safety with stability.

It is driving them out of their fantasized minds!
And they wish for some relief...
That would enhance their fading beliefs.
But none comes and they become stunned!
And left to defend...
In a civil unrest for them that begins!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Burdened Is the One Who Knows Truth

Burdened is the one who knows truth.
An isolation occurs,
One has the nerve to adjust to and accept.
With little delusion left to live.

Some would say comments made like this are negative.
Until the onslaught of reality hits them quick.
And there is nothing positive they see in it.
With wishes to blame others to have it fixed.
To return back to a life that is fantasized.
Complete and sugarized.
But teardropping eyes like these...
Are going to clear when the masquerade is over.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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God's Blessing

If you aren't brave enough to live your own life,
By doing those things you say you like...
But put off.
Because you claim,
You can not find time!
Don't lie to me about it.
I am living my life!
And not a moment too soon.

With mistakes.
Doubts.
Blemishes and flaws.
Fears and everything else involved.
I want to experience it all.
Exhausting God's blessing.

You can keep yours gift wrapped if you wish.
Delayed...
With each excuse you make,
To schedule priorities.
Fantasized and fairytaled.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Expense Others Have To Pay

I know you perceive me to be against your kept delusions.
I am not.
What I am against is the expense others have to pay,
To keep your point of view fantasized.
And so far what has been tried over and over again,
Is an obvious waste of valuable time...
With a funding of them that has reached its end.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If This Was Not For You

If this was not for you,
I wouldn't take the time.
I'm sure I can find other things to do.
If this was not for you.

If this was not for you,
I don't think I'd be sitting with this patience.
Wanting to achieve what I believe,
You would approve.
If this was not for you,
I would not bother...
To listen to my heart like this.

It has been too long I've wanted someone like you.
Someone with finesse and attitude.
Direct and yet aggressive.
Optimistically objective...
Without getting upset.
With the very best of me...
There for you 'if' you do!

If this was not for you,
I wouldn't take the time.
And you wouldn't know this,
Is something from my heart!
Something that is mine to give...
And deliver to you as is!

I'm sure I can find other things to do.
If this was not for you....
The moment this was started.
You have to know that's true.
My feelings for you would have long departed.
From a passing fantasy into the emptiness,
Of forgotten thoughts.

If this was not for you,
You would not make time...
Stand still in my mind!
Nor will I seek to find it

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Loss of Opportunity to Correct

They are seeking someone to blame,
For the deadend of their greed.
For the sloppiness of their gluttony.
For the selfishness they feed.

But they will come to realize,
They've been driven by their own addictions.
And their own needs to be deluded.
Unconsciously polluted and fantasized.

And with eyes clearing...
A reflection they see!
Racism, division, ignorance and isolation.
With a loss of opportunity...
To correct.

With no empathy bestowed from those,
Who observe them as they pass.
Looking onto this scene...
Expressing no feelings to be seen.
At least none they have chosen,
For them to regret!

Corruption fed without a consciousness...
Comes to greet.
Without delicious treats.
For a clean up that comes next.
And the seriousness of reality,
Taken to confront such a mess!

'Did we do this by ourselves? '

Yes, children!
No one else.
And guess what?
You will clean it up yourselves.
Here is your broom and mop.
Get busy!
And when you are done here...
There is much more.

Not we...
Or us!
But 'you' will do to improve!
And...
Over there,
You will find your uniforms.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Sick With Self Inflicted Pain

Heads thick and fantasized,
Have minds closed and prevent...
Abilities to reason.
Or rationalize with common sense.

Many minds like these,
Are not often seen sitting on fences.
Minds encouraged and convinced,
Become defensive...
When shown they are wrong.
And an offensiveness begins...
To shutdown with a stubbornness,
That creates their own unhealing wounds!

Heads thick and fantasized,
Have minds closed and prevent...
Abilities to reason.
Or rationalize with common sense.
And around those with heads thick,
Are walls cemented with a lifetime...
Of an ignorance sick with self inflicted pain.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Hard to Find

With a tension that is given,
To the acceptance of living a stressful life...
Doesn't feel to be quite right,
When the avoidance of it seems impossible.

And with a tension that is given,
From not trying to get uptight...
Is mostly a folly fantasized,
As a prioritized option once can do without.

Where is one's peace of mind kept in this?
Where is one's joy and happiness wanted,
With the making of claims?
And where does one go to get a relief,
To be released from the pressure...
Not to have that declared,
As a one of a kind hard to find commodity!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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