Payback Isn't Always In The Seeking
What is it with those,
Who boo and hiss efforts of some people...
To purposely wish havoc bestowed upon them.
And as years pass evil deed doers later expect,
A forgiveness given for their conscious intentions.
To then pretend themselves 'saints'.
While the ones burdened by agonizing mental pains,
Are left alone to mend with nothing about this pretended.
As those who perceive and believe their misdeeds done,
Have miraculously disappeared...
To forever be erased from memory.
Payback isn't always in the seeking of revenge,
To warn others with attitudes that are shown.
Often it takes one to awaken with guilt to be felt,
To self inflict their own grief.
And portrayals of innocence may be easier to release,
Than the knowing of what one has done to another.
'I hope you understand that the years I tormented your life,
I was not completely aware that my activities...
Would one day come back to haunt me.'
~And...
You expect from me an apology?
Or a wish to transfer your guilt?
Which is it?
I appreciate your confession.
But I am not the one to administer or offer relief.~
'But...
Don't you hate me? '
~Why would I want to waste that kind of energy?
Apparently you've done enough of that for the both of us.~
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Deeds Done They Do To Leave
Don't you believe people make mistakes?
And should be forgiven for those they make?
'Sure.
I've made quite a few myself.
And not one did I make,
Was an intention to undermine someone else,
Consciously.
Nor did I,
With a premeditation done...
Inflict sorrow on anyone.
Those are not 'mistakes'.
That is a remorse received for a thing done,
Now bringing feelings of guilt and grief.
Feelings of guilt that brings one grief,
Is a payback.
And those are divinely distributed.
Mistakes can be corrected.
Heartaches and 'breaks'...
Are way beyond my jurisdiction to mend.
They require much prayer and faith.
And that is what I have relied on to keep my head up,
To protect from those of destructive forces.
So those who choose to say,
They should be forgiven for making mistakes.
And expect a forgiveness done...
Are 'consciously' approving their own devious activities.
That is the way I see deeds done they do to leave.
With expectations to continue their deceptions.
After an appropriate forgiveness has been delivered.'
Those are not mistakes.
And there is quite a difference.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Sinistrous
Taunting them who taunted then,
In ways that begin to haunt their peace.
Them who taunted then in fun...
Finds this taunting consumes until done!
An unrest occurs.
For no apparent reason!
It seems at first.
Jolting guilt and memories.
Pleas increase,
To be released from sinistrous deeds.
Believing years has erased innocence.
When evil intended was incensed.
But an aging sensitivity,
Grabs hold and does not ease.
A payback is shown for these misdeeds.
They are not pleased,
With sleepless nights that visit!
Hollow prayers and rituals,
Enhance past activities.
They try but can not break away...
From playful days that brought others grief,
With no relief.
These sleepless nights with nightmares come.
As they wonder 'why' and 'how' this has begun.
And 'who' and 'what'...
With them has this 'fun'!
Offering no escape at all to run!
'What a bummer! '
Taunting them who taunted then,
In ways that begin to haunt their peace.
Them who taunted then in fun...
Finds this taunting consumes until done!
And the ministry of these sinistrous deeds...
Satisfies those once victimized!
With a sadistic kind of glee!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Just To Delight In The Excitement Of It
Demons wish to inflict conflict.
With a chaos and havoc,
Just to delight in the excitement of it.
With a quest to deceive,
And disturb with ease...
Where there are signs of peace freed.
Misdeeds are activities,
Demons purposely release...
With beliefs of receiving satisfaction.
Demons wish to inflict conflict.
With a chaos and havoc,
Just to delight in the excitement of it.
But to the demons' surprise...
These wicked strides begun,
Eventually do come to an end!
With no sympathy to those demonic given.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Expect More
Expect more,
From yourself...
Before your self respect,
becomes enclosed
Behind shut doors.
Expect more,
Not less.
When your best,
Has been ignored.
Expect more,
Or you'll be next...
Left when your intentions,
Begin to bore.
Expect more,
From those awake.
But the exchange makes them snore.
Expect more,
If a game played becomes too straight.
And you must be that whore!
To gain the attention,
Some express you adore.
Expect more...
From them and yourself to win.
In this life expect more.
Don't accept what is suspected.
Don't throw tantrums and fits...
Just to keep limits explored!
Expect more!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Innocence Is Affirmation Verification Of Light
Innocence is not an absence of legal guilt
Innocence is not freedom from specific wrongs
Innocence is a quality state of freedom from sins guilt
loss of innocence no integral part
of maturity necessary coming of age
awareness of world pain suffering evil
Innocence is not absence of normative experience
Innocence is not ignorance not knowing evil
Innocence is affirmation a naked sinless nature
Innocence is choice verification of brilliant divinity light
poem by Terence George Craddock
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Expect Your ………….You!
Expect your friend to be not better than you;
Expect your neighbor to not forgive you;
Expect your country not to goad you;
Expect your siblings to but discourage you;
Expect your children to not care for you;
Expect your spouse to rather hinder you;
Expect your love to always forget you;
Expect your home sometimes to ignore you;
Expect your native place to not honor you;
Expect the world to disregard you;
Expect your enemy to well hate you;
Expect your Maker to much love you;
Expect your God to never forsake you;
Expect your Lord and God to never abandon you.
poem by John Celes
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Deserving Of Individual Life Boats
Assuming...
That if they let the ship sink,
With a captain they've been made to dislike...
They could hop in the life boats,
Saving themselves...
And row to shore.
To receive the adulation of the people,
They believe await them to applaud their activities...
Adored.
However...
The doers perceive each one of them,
Are deserving of individual life boats.
With a servant to row...
And catered service.
These are the same doers,
Who implemented their own castastrophy.
And these are the same doers who now argue over...
The design of the life boats and the suits they should wear,
When they are honored at individual ceremonies...
To highlight the efforts each individually achieved.
And...
These are the same doers who pretend they can swim,
But have not a clue what to do with their arms.
However...
Dressed the part to play the role,
Is quite different than the acutal performance expected.
And many of them 'now' have decided...
Perhaps letting the ship sink was not a good idea.
So now they scramble amongst themselves,
To determine the cost of repair...
And if that can be done as cheaply as possible.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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People Expect Too Much From Me
aug,11,2010
people expect me to be perfect,
because i'm smart,
people expect me to get good grades,
because of all the hard work i put in,
people expect me to have my own business,
because i can be talented and creative,
people expect me to be a push over,
rather than a girl who speaks her mind,
people expect me to be something i'm not,
but all i can be is only myself,
people expect me to deal with life,
i can only deal with it the best i can,
people expect me to handle more than i can,
but who is it really for or what do i have to prove?
people expect me to be who they want,
but did they ever stop to think of what i wanted?
poem by Mona Martinez
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Observation
Do not think you have used me without my knowledge.
Or that my silence is a sign of approval to be duped.
I have been aware of your activities,
The moment you began your snooping...
With a degarding of me you wish to succeed.
Why you have chosen me to proceed with misdeeds,
Has become a standard you value.
I waste no time with those who are fools.
However,
In that moment you began to degrade my efforts...
Was the beginning of your slide downhill.
I always tell those I don't know...
Be careful who you disrespect.
The power of the mind is a power undefined...
When one chooses to use it,
In ways unsuspected!
When ignorance is detected.
'The mind is a terrible thing to waste'
Is much more than a cliché just spoken.
Those who know that are patient!
Those who know that are elated.
Knowing who is on the list,
To receive a payback!
And it happens without fail,
For the one who prevails!
And seeks comprehension,
With a higher consciousness not mentioned.
And the use of observation that decreases tension!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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If It Offends
I awakened no longer beholdened,
To those emotional traps.
The kind that others leave,
With expectations...
Something done I did disliked,
Eventually to have me feeling guilt ridden.
And I would then offer an apology.
I awakened no longer beholdened,
To those emotional traps.
Or do something done,
Without being consciously attached.
I use to be the one to forgive and forget.
No matter who said what to me.
To show no concern or expression of a regret.
And I would laugh when publicly,
I was shown nothing but disrespect.
I awakened no longer beholdened,
To those emotional traps.
The kind that others leave,
With expectations...
Something done I did disliked,
Eventually to have me feeling guilt ridden.
And I would then offer an apology.
Well those days do not exist for me anymore.
I say what I mean and if it offends,
I let others know immediately...
Being provoked I don't consider to be a joke.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Accomplices
It should not take,
A trapping of a deceiver...
To admit misdeeds.
Or apologies done,
To expect a forgiveness received,
From those duped...
By a skilled liar.
Lives have been tormented,
By people like this.
It should take one conscious,
Of those things done they do.
To save everyone from the embarrassment,
Of choosing others to accuse.
Especially,
When the culprit sits preparing to make direct hits...
After being solicited for regular visits,
To delight all with the making of false impressions.
Although entertaining are the embellishments.
And others,
Unknowingly...
Assist in the doing of the damaged,
On others done.
Like the accomplices they've become.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Release Yourself From Guilt
Why be self indulgent,
If the act is not a conscious effort?
Or participate in it with guilt?
Be still and know...
You have chosen to be as self indulgent,
As consciously possible.
Whenever and with your best ability!
This is not the time to be remorseful.
Especially when you can afford to have it...
As you wish!
And knowing it is well deserved!
Indulge!
And release yourself from guilt!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Hope You're Happy
I hope you're happy.
I hope you don't give it a second thought.
I hope you're happy but that's not enough.
I hope your miserble in that grave you dug.
I hope it's me you're thinking of when you choke on your tears.
I hope you waste the years with someone untrue.
I hope the words you said come back to haunt you.
The mistake you made, I hope it drives you insane.
I hope it hurts you to say my name.
If you're lonely you've got no one to blame but yourself.
So I hope your happy with somebody else.
I hope you're doing alright.
I hope it's guilt that keeps you up at night
I hope it eats you away.
I hope you regret every single day spent without me.
I hope it kills you to hear the truth spoken loudly.
I hope you have fun pretending to care about her.
I hope you believe that you can't live without her.
I hope you're happy.
I hope you don't fall apart.
I hope you're happy.
I hope she breaks your worthless heart.
poem by Samantha Ashley
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That 'Is' Some Form Of Forgiveness
Those who unknowingly,
Rally around the ones who have lied...
And found themselves supporters of a deceit,
Are equally as quilty...
Of destroying others' lives.
With such an ambitious thoroughness.
Inflicting isolation upon others,
Because of what has been heard...
And prefabricated for selfish purposes,
Results in feelings of guilt.
Theirs!
And when the ones who have been victimized...
Have no desire to be around those who have acquired,
A following by deceit that has left them depleted...
Of doing another good deed.
It becomes discovered the extent of the damage done.
And a forgetting with a forgiveness,
Is not part of the mix.
No matter what the wholesome belief,
Of turning the other cheek may be.
'Do what?
Forgive?
After years of them actively participating,
In the ruining of my life?
With statements they've made,
That they have made mistakes?
And we are all human?
What an awakening!
My eyes are beginning to moist.
We must be on camera?
Are we on camera?
I've done something better.
I've removed them completely from memory.
In my mind they do not exist.
I guess that 'is' some form of forgiveness.
Isn't it? '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Psalm 32
Forgiveness of sins upon confession.
O Blessed souls are they
Whose sins are covered o'er!
Divinely blest, to whom the Lord
Imputes their guilt no more.
They mourn their follies past,
And keep their hearts with care;
Their lips and lives, without deceit,
Shall prove their faith sincere.
While I concealed my guilt,
I felt the fest'ring wound;
Till I confessed my sins to thee,
And ready pardon found.
Let sinners learn to pray,
Let saints keep near the throne;
Our help, in times of deep distress,
Is found in God alone.
poem by Isaac Watts
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Why The Chorus of Remorse?
What has happened to the suddenness of your distance?
And why the chorus of remorse?
What has happened to the suddenness of your...
'Forget you, and that's it! ? '
And why the chorus of remorse am I now from you hearing?
I've mended and healed from those years embittered.
Those years that left me sitting with an unforgiveness,
Felt for you to inflict daggers.
What has happened to the suddenness of your distance?
And why the chorus of remorse?
I have long forgiven but not forgotten.
You left me.
Dd you think I would awaken and not remember it?
You left me.
And erasing you from my heart,
Is not going to take an effort...
On my part,
To retrace any feelings I wish to recapture.
The heat I am feeling for you now...
I warn you,
Is not the kind you wish to see or have rekindled.
Trust me.
If I were you,
I would leave.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Paving Roads Of Negativity
Naysayers have begun to lose,
Their influential ways of paving roads of negativity.
More people begin to see,
Evil inflicted intentionally on the decrease.
And the truth of those who have done good deeds,
Are witnessed to be surviviing...
From the smothering activities of those who had deceived.
Naysayers have begun to lose,
Their influential ways of paving negativity.
And their portrayals of themselves as victims in distress,
Have exposed their treachery once a tool used successfully...
No longer can hide,
Their mental and physical crippling pains.
Shown to be repayment for their evil claims now upon them aimed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Specific By Design
Lazy adults raised by irresponsible children,
Choosing to do what they please...
With the making of excuses encouraged as done,
Are not the ones to blame for their attitudes towards life.
Many do not accept transitions and think of them as painful.
Every example of a quality of life to value,
Has been degraded by those lazy who view mediocrity...
As too much of a struggle to achieve,
With an escaping from a hopelessness and self pity.
And the evidence of their influence is too obvious to avoid.
And they are left trapped in sadness patterns.
With their touches of guilt to add to a quilt...
Specific by design.
Left trapped in sadness patterns.
With their touches of guilt to add to a quilt...
Specific by design.
And the evidence that is knitted in,
Becomes too obvious to avoid.
Left trapped in sadness patterns.
With their touches of guilt to add to a quilt...
Specific by design.
And the evidence that is knitted in,
Becomes too obvious to avoid.
And they are left trapped in sadness patterns.
With their touches of guilt to add to a quilt...
Specific by design.
And the evidence that sits,
Becomes too obvious to avoid.
Or can anyone conscious excuse the limits of it!
And the purpose with intentions to confine...
Those of shallow and unused minds.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Like Most People Evil
During their last thrill ride aboard evil,
Those caught up in their wicked ways...
Will not suspect,
Themselves to be targeted to be repaid.
Like most people evil,
They believe themselves above refute.
Like most people evil,
They believe whatever they do...
Will not return back upon them to haunt.
And taunt them for their rest of their lives.
During their last thrill ride aboard evil,
Those responsible for the abuse of others...
No matter how these afflictions upon them done,
Those people evil and enjoying it...
Will come to feel and know,
The meaning of pain.
And like most people evil,
What they come to experience for their misdeeds...
Will be attempted to be the blame to claim on others.
Like most people evil in the midst of what they do,
Campaigning to inflict themselves with their own sorrows.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Call Her Emotionally paralyzed
Look into her eyes you will find a map leading to her pain
listen to her voice you will hear the hidden guilt driving her insane
you can ask her what is wrong? But I doubt that she will answer
you may think she is not strong but I think you should know better
you may want to be her friend but be aware she does not trust
you can try but I must warn you I don’t promise you much
if you ask her about life, love and hope I know she will say
life will end soon, love already did and hope lives far away
ask her when she last saw the bright yellow sun
ask if she faces her fears or if she decides to cry or run
She will smile and she will be surprised to know the sun shines still
she will also say life's left no energy or tears to run to cry or to will
Ask her how she became who she is but i dont know what she'll reveal
she'll try to escape she'll try to run away because its too painful to feel
poem by Ayesha Sartawi
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