Nostalgia
It is difficult for many to leave behind,
Their feelings of nostalgia.
An excessively sentimental yearning,
Overcomes some for a return to a past...
That has made them 'homesick'.
Even though the period and conditions once lived,
Are irrecoverable...
The attempt to do it has led many to insist,
With a protesting that their wishes are met.
And with threats, there are those who demand.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Mix of Tricks
Suddenly it's redundance,
Relied upon to inspire.
A reminder of threats regrettable...
Left to anger in bitterness acquired.
One wishes to leave it behind.
Another wishes to leave it alone!
But the redundance comes...
As if to be enjoyed on a carousel,
As if it must be cemented and condoned!
Fears created and replayed to convince,
Every step taken has to be escorted...
With some kind of defense.
And those in control prove daily they have none,
While they insist terrorists will attack everyone!
These games were stunning when they started...
But proving nothing when they are done!
Suddenly it's redundance,
Relied upon to inspire.
A reminder of threats regrettable...
Left to anger in bitterness acquired.
And those who initiated this mix of tricks...
Each and everyone should be exposed and fired!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Sentimental
Last night
we showed how much we cared
but sadness filled the air
how it made us cry
as we waved goodbye
then you left me standing there
Last night
I came home on my own
and watched a movie show
and the saddest part
really broke my heart
as it made me miss you so
I get so sentimental
can't control the beat of my heart
I get so sentimental
sentimental when we're apart
Last night
I tried to let you know
how it hurts to see you go
and how I want you near
every time I hear
our love song on the radio
I get so sentimental
can't control the beat of my heart
I get so sentimental
sentimental when we're apart
Can't control the beat of my heart
I get so sentimental
sentimental when we're apart
How you made me cry
when we waved good bye
as it made me miss you so
I get so sentimental
can't control the beat of my heart
I get so sentimental
sentimental when we're apart
I get so sentimental
I get so sentimental
sentimental when we're apart
I get so sentimental
can't control the beat of my heart
I get so sentimental
song performed by by Donna Summer from Another Place And Time
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sentimental Journey
Gonna take a sentimental journey
Gonna to set my heart at ease
Gonna take a sentimental journey
To renew old memories
Got my bag
I got my reservation
Spend each dime I could afford
Like a child in wild anticipation
Long to hear that all aboard
Seven, that's the time we leave at seven
I'll be waiting up for heaven
Counting every mile of railroad track
That takes me back
Never thought my heart could be so yearning
Why did I decide to roam
Gonna take a sentimental journey
Sentimental journey home
Sentimental journey
song performed by by Barry Manilow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Which One Is Left to Experience Regret?
When one has lived without,
What one has never had to live with...
From the beginning!
It becomes difficult to use that as a weapon,
To threaten to keep it denied.
Especially if one never knew,
What it was that was being kept away.
If one has never had what it was to miss...
What good are those threats?
And what is one expecting in return,
For making them?
And which one is left to experience regret?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Effects of what Others Do
Don't you dislike those implications?
I know I use to.
Especially the ones made,
By those who owe their lives to you.
The ones who have lied to others...
Who now have everything surfacing,
To have people see them...
As the fools I knew.
Those are the ones who like to take credit,
For things they did not do.
And today they want to prove themselves,
By overcompensating their judgements passed.
Only to find themselves,
Trapped by lies and deceit believed...
Buried in their past.
To now see what they've done now being trashed.
And not by me!
By that reflection they see.
'What goes around comes around.'
My mother use to say.
And, 'God don't like ugly, boy.
So you don't be that way.
He knows what's going on.
You'll see that one day.'
And as I've aged and matured,
I see the effects left by what others do.
With the attempt made to ruin lives of others.
And I know if they could have their druthers,
They would wish their feelings now felt inside...
Would not cling to linger as truths they can not deny.
'There is a reason WHY for everything.'
And I...
Use to dislike those implications made.
But I must say today I realize as I empathize...
Those I had despised,
Ruined their own lives not mine.
I'm not the one sitting with wishes,
I had lived a more righteous life.
I am happy living the life God to me has given!
With a conscious free and glad I had listened.
And did not rush to revenge those judgements.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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We Arrive To Leave As Visitors
Either way the finger points,
Or the wind blows...
Change is here to stay.
And those with nostalgic wishes,
Hoping for a return of every yesterday lived...
May discover they are regarded no more than twigs,
Discarded from trees...
Only The Creator has made to allow them to breathe.
We arrive to leave as visitors!
With many disrespecting the act of this fact.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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To The Aggies Of Ateneo De Davao Around The World
nostalgia is the word for all these now
we have the urge to look out the window and find
who we were: the joys of the college years that will tickle us
old friends and their memories like innocent children
coming on our laps asking for our embraces
old pictures make our hearts shrink a little only to grow
bigger like a bread from the pan
fresh and fuming with the flavor of wheat
nostalgia is the word for it
and time is its mother that nourishes with its milk
the past comes to us always with something greener
and a breather of mint and rosemary
some peppers and honeyed lemonades
nostalgia is the word for it
when our wings have gone far beyond the lands of our births
dissolving in the horizons of other lands
when our chirps are gone
nostalgia is the word for it
when we come back stronger this time and lovelier
with our wounds that healed
with our pains that lost its trick
nostalgia is the word for it
such is she a beautiful woman still even though the hairs have turned gray
and the breasts sag and the bones rattling like brittle sticks
nostalgia is the word for it and no matter where the winds of this world
and its cyclones and waves have taken us
we are back looking for the glitter of each other's eyes
and then we laugh and then the world has heard us
yes, nostalgia is the word that people seldom use
as they move on with their respective lives
but we are here once again
nostalgia is the theme, it is here and soon it will leave
we are once again full even for once
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Disappointed
The best way to avoid,
Something allowed to exist...
But now one wishes it to rid,
Is not to create it.
Or make claims to benefit,
Only when it is to one's periodic advantage.
So many insist,
On not being aware of what they've permitted.
To then attempt to remove themselves,
Of any responsibility that reflects their involvement.
As if a conscious investment made...
Disappointed in the expected dividends given.
The best way to avoid,
Something allowed to exist...
But now one wishes it to rid,
Is not to create it.
Or make claims to benefit,
Only when it is to one's periodic advantage.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Displays Of Diversity
They insist they wish more displays,
Of diversity.
And less racism expressed.
To move forward their policies of democracy.
And yet with their attempts with incompetence made...
They find themselves disqualified.
Since in a suburbanite isolation...
Is the only progress shown they have ever made.
With feelings they know best,
How to save and protect their own interests!
And yet...
They insist they wish more displays of diversity!
As long as there are more of them...
And fewer minorities!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Enriched
What was difficult?
A decision made to be me.
A decision to leave,
Everything and everyone...
Who did not grasp,
Their own identity.
And when clarity came,
And stared in my face...
I stood and stared right back!
That was the most difficult thing I did.
And since then...
I recognized,
How many had not done that.
How many,
In fact...
Did not know who or what they were.
And I did not fully realize until I witnessed them...
How long I had been back then,
Like them...
In hiding!
Pretending I knew the life I lived.
But today I do not seek,
Acceptance from anyone to qualify that.
I did not know that finding myself,
Would leave me feeling so enriched!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Bastards of Bastions
Orphaned are those,
Barely sitting in their nodded stupors.
Drifting back and forth through wishes.
With compositions of conditions,
That keep them weak.
In minds defined by a life lived,
On inner city streets.
These are bastards of bastions...
Raised to be defeated.
No one to encourage,
Made efforts to keep.
These are bastards of bastions...
Raised to be defeated.
No one to encourage,
Made efforts to keep.
So they,
Find uselessness as no crime!
As a pity rips them.
And this pity grips them.
As they validate a nonsense lived.
As a pity rips them.
And this pity grips them.
As they validate a nonsense lived.
So they,
Find uselessness as no crime!
As a pity rips them.
And this pity grips them.
As a pity rips them.
And this pity grips them.
Orphaned are those,
Barely sitting in their nodded stupors.
Drifting back and forth through wishes.
With compositions of conditions,
That keep them weak.
In minds defined by a life lived,
On inner city streets.
As a pity rips them.
And this pity grips them.
As they validate a nonsense lived.
Bastards of bastions!
As a pity rips them.
And this pity grips them.
As they validate a nonsense lived.
Bastards of bastions!
As a pity rips them.
And this pity grips them.
As they validate a nonsense lived.
Bastards of bastions,
And born from quick passions.
As a pity rips them.
And this pity grips them.
As a pity rips them.
And this pity grips them.
As a pity rips them.
And this pity grips them.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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She Knows Not
She is the mistress,
of his feelings.
Lay bare he does...
and stare out of heat mist windows.
Capturing moonlight,
on his skin with wishes to be touched.
She is the mistress,
of his feelings.
Unapologetic are rays carried,
from him he thrusts.
He trusts that she
will someday receive his yearning.
He burns in hunger longing...
And she knows not of his need!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Man Kissing Man
They insist their lifestyle
Is not wrong
When people all the while
Give reactions so strong?
Indeed is it true
Nobody gets offended
Why is it people do
Still call it abhorrent?
Actions that are not normal
Will produce repulsion
Man's breed is social
With rules and conditions
People react and express disgust
When things abnormal are displayed
As the times now demand we must
Say the message, have it conveyed
poem by Cynthia Buhain-Baello
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If Neither One of Us Can Leave It
In your eyes,
You've decided...
I would be,
A fantasy you'd like to reach.
And,
In your eyes...
I can see,
There is something I do receive.
Something you wish to give to me.
I can feel,
In your eyes...
Something real.
In your eyes.
Wanting with a yearning.
A passion there burning.
I begin thinking,
What would it be like...
If I lived my life,
With you.
I find inside,
I am thinking...
What would it be like,
If I lived my life...
With just you.
If neither one of us can leave it,
Then we must both believe it...
Since we seem not able to leave it alone.
If neither one of us can leave it,
Then we must both believe...
In instant love.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Innuendoed to Convince
Fear not being completely honest,
In an atmosphere reeking of deceit.
You...
Of those wholesome sensibilities!
Eventually your intergrity will be identified.
And those who lived their lives mystified by lies...
Will discover their decay.
Deluded and fantasized.
Teased by sweets and compromised.
But has delivered no long lasting peace.
With wishes they had turned away,
From a hollowness enjoyed each day.
Sought on a daily basis.
Preferring a more solid existence employed.
At least one less pretensed.
Or one wished had been less annoying!
And lived to prevent from being destroyed.
By threats of terrorists or homophobic racists!
Since one day they will come to realize,
Their own lives lived...
For them nearing the end,
Has made no sense to defend.
With a rumored conscious intention.
Innuendoed to convince,
A fulfillment of some kind has taken place.
Even at the expense,
Of their sheltered and isolated misunderstandings.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Felt That Without Description
When love came to us...
Where were the conditions?
I did not hear or see them.
I did not feel a restriction,
Slowly peeling to strip from us...
The hunger of touching.
When love came to us...
We did not care there were physical flaws.
Or blemishes of imperfection.
Only caressing kept us awed.
As we pawed and played.
In uninhabited abandonment.
When love came to us...
Why could we not keep it,
As it came to nourish.
Was there too much of it shown?
Too much to satisfy,
Until it was decided it will be there...
Whenever!
I had taken us too for granted.
And you took too much to leave me...
Finally in my own grief.
I can not believe the depth.
I have felt that without description.
Realizing my selfishness became too soon,
A demand of your attention...
I did not have the patience to wait for then!
And now with patience,
I have no peace without you...
I can announce is mine,
If in conferences we shared
Before we slept close...
Finds us in separate beds yearning.
At least...
I am in need.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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In A Sentimental Mood
In a sentimental mood
I can see the stars come through my room
While your loving attitude
Is like a flame that lights the gloom
On the wings of every kiss
Drifts a melody so strange and sweet
In this sentimental bliss
You make my paradise complete
Rose petals seem to fall
Its all I could dream to call you mine
My hearts a lighter thing
Since you made this night a thing divine
In a sentimental mood
Im within a world so heavenly
For I never dreamt that youd be loving sentimental me
song performed by by Ella Fitzgerald
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Do I Care That You Are Hurting?
Do I care that you are hurting?
Did you ever care...
Period!
You have not been the one,
Exclusively in pain!
And I am not immune to empathy one bit!
Now that you are ready to express 'your' feelings,
Those of others are not diminished.
Nor did they announce they have left them to quit!
What you are experiencing now...
Has no ending to it to finish.
You once could afford to ignore
The sorrows of others.
Do you believe,
The grief you have recently received...
Brings cheers to those in contant struggle?
And you are on their minds,
As if you occupy their thoughts...
With nothing else but you,
To take up their time?
Or that you with your sympathies are sought.
You have been much too self possessed.
Too self-righteously taught!
Very few I know are suffering from guilt!
'That' happens to be your own curse...
From a life lived in rehearsals.
Built,
And fenced to separate!
This agony you 'dished',
Is now yours to contemplate!
As you kept in practice to perfect...
Deceit and needless hate!
Baited.
Your issues have never defined my point of view!
Do I care that you are hurting?
Did you ever care...
Period!
Without deserting those who did?
And you did your best...
To disrespect them to mock,
Every feeling of theirs in jest.
To depict them as being,
Low life and negative...
Animals who were pests!
Do I care that you are hurting?
Are you aware just how long who has?
From those misdeeds done by you in the past!
I have learned from you,
To return the same concern!
And I certainly don't sit,
Wondering how 'you' feel!
My thoughts are with those who have been dismissed.
Not with someone like you who believes...
Every step you take,
Has been followed and worshipped!
Do I care that you are hurting?
I honestly did not think you could!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Homesick for Heaven
Heaven,
A world of wonders
Golden stairs
Pearly gates
Soothing music
Ethereal melodies
Complete bliss
Delight
angels and cherubim
eternal joy and peace
Earth,
Homesick heart
in a perpetual state
Of culture shock
cold winter
humid summer
stressful autumn and
just a short period of spring
Heaven,
I’m now homesick for heaven
It is better than this world’s Eden
heaven,
is my oasis, my real haven
poem by Champs Ulysses Cabinatan
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You Want to Gain...What?
You want to gain...
What?
Fame, fortune and wealth?
To feel you are above everyone else?
To deal them with teases...
Just to please yourself?
You want to gain...
What?
Attention you insist belongs to you?
To set pretensions upon their point of view.
What does this 'really' do for you?
Would this erase your insecurities...
And those obscenities that you spew?
You want to gain...
What?
A dignity and pride...
With 'things' and objects,
You believe holds a head high.
Or eyes on you!
To be awed by a fake persona.
And left transfixed...
By your masquerading of it!
You clearly feel an emptiness.
And this you keep inside.
Nothing you choose to express to impress...
Will ever address what you deny!
And an identity unknown...
Seems to leave you depressed,
With regrets.
This is shown!
And moving forward beyond this...
With determined steps,
Will not gain you what you wish.
If you are too afraid...
To expose and admit,
Mistakes you've made!
But you insist...
None are there to fix.
You want to gain...
What?
A way to disguise your blemishes,
There and appearing.
Or a way to escape from your flaws?
No one finds endearing.
Which of these do you believe can not be seen?
You want to gain...
What?
Another life?
One you don't find,
So disgusting?
To live one that is lived perfectly right!
One you wished you had lived less distrusting.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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