My Steps With Few Exceptions
For some reason,
I've enjoyed being accused...
For those things I did not do!
I guess knowing who it is I am,
Eventually exposes those accusers...
For the liars I know them to be!
And not a dropp of sweat,
Drips from a heated brow.
None from my face I will allow.
That kind of nonsense does not upset me!
I've had too many experiences,
To get me standing on my own two feet.
And my steps,
With few exceptions...
I make conscious efforts to ensure they are correct.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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The Goods From Your Efforts
Rise to the occasion each time met.
No matter how brisk cool breezes blow.
Or temperatures heated to leave you wet.
Bring with it uncomfortable humidity.
To slow the affects of your expectations.
Do not let a breaking of sweat upset.
Or keep a goal that is set to let slip,
From its fixed position in your mind.
And eventually the goods from your efforts,
Will deliver to you prosperity in time.
Do not let a breaking of sweat upset.
Or temperatures heated to leave you wet,
To slow the affects of your expectations.
And eventually the goods from your efforts,
Will leave you cheering to erase every regret.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Based On Claims and Stolen Dreams
Efforts to reduce,
A self esteem one earns...
Is too obvious a tactic,
For one who only has a talent...
To undermine and broadcast it.
That's how obvious these tactics.
And when someone of a narrow mind,
Is behind such foolish schemes...
This also exposes the environment,
That allows those of lowlife...
To climb to heights,
Just based on claims and stolen dreams.
Without producing credentials or evidence,
Of competence.
While those who are capable are often depicted,
As fools.
Or something less flattering to sell to those who gossip.
To ensure one's defeat and public embarrassment,
Becomes signed, sealed and certified.
But...
Guess who eventually wins?
And guess whose steps are then scrutinized?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Foundations Shift
Caught up in a 'thing',
Clinging onto beliefs that 'things'...
Never change and remain the same,
Yet do...
From that which a few hold onto,
As a means to keep real their perceptions.
May for some be a reason to stay detached...
And dancing,
To ideals for them that are 'forever' in motion.
As if in an eternal exclusiveness.
Meant to linger,
To allow sweat from their heated libidos to drop.
But those with their feet planted on the ground,
Have learned that foundations shift around...
From their own undenied experiences.
Standing to face their obstacles.
And in the presence of realities,
Many have long stopped their dancing to confront.
And this can not be relied upon to validate stability.
In fact,
It uncovers the masquerading of it.
A life one lives is in constant motion,
No matter what the rhythm one chooses to repeat...
With a nimbleness and sustained agility aging to fade away.
The only thing that 'is' guaranteed to be changed IS change...
Again and again until it ends.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Some Folks Find That Comforting
Anyone who tries to correct,
What they have already done...
Should be applauded for making the attempt.
Somehow my experiences,
Have assisted in my acquiring this philosophy...
I'm not going to spend a minute trying to correct,
What I have done.
It has been done.
However...
I will do the best I can,
To be more conscious of that which I am doing...
In the moment I am doing it,
As to not to wish to make changes,
To that which I've already done.
If in the doing of 'that' was a possibility.
In other words,
I am not living to make excuses for myself.
Some folks find that comforting.
I don't.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Distinctive Instincts
If claims are made,
A knowing when an argument has started...
Why is it heated to increase,
To include others that are innocent?
Who are then made to believe,
Their involvement is needed...
To ensure what they treasure is kept protected.
And at their own expense.
With a manipulating of distinctive instincts,
Strategically repeated...
To trigger emotions to re-act without thinking.
Is a deception that guarantees success.
Yet those used who first get upset,
Never seem to ask the question...
Who eventually becomes the benefactor,
From something implemented they did not initiate.
And...
With a manipulating of those distinct instincts,
The results expected are seldom debated.
Since the outcome achieved,
Has already been celebrated.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Out of the Crevices of Darkness
When a long standing joke,
Has lost its 'funny'.
And lies told are found to be untrue.
What then do those who laugh and lie,
Eventually pursue?
Some try to hide their saddened faces.
Something about liars change too.
Many try to escape from their 'efforts' made.
And those whose lives had been attempted to be ruined,
By those of these misguided deeds.
Seem to appear freer to be happy.
Knowing the seeds planted by deceivers...
Has exposed more fools than can be believed.
'They are all over the place!
From where did they come? '
When the light starts to shine...
Anything can be seen,
Coming out of the crevices of darkness.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Motives To Create Descension
There are those who have motives,
To create descension.
And find a way by slithering in,
To infect the ones unconscious...
Of their evil intentions believed innocent.
With a portraying of themselves as victims.
Ones who are confused and abused by others.
'I have no idea why I should be treated as such.
I've done absolutely nothing at all.
And I am baffled by this too!
Many know I 'show' love too much.'
There are those who have motives,
To upset that which is correct.
And then with their best masquerading done,
Pretend when discovered...
Of not knowing of their deceit.
To eventually destroy the efforts of those weak.
Who can not accept and believe how they've been used.
~I didn't believe they could be that way.~
Well...
Now you know.
~I didn't believe me they would betray.~
Well...
Now you know.
~It is too late for you and I to start,
Trusting each other from deep inside our hearts? ~
I doubt it.
If you didn't know me for who I am from the beginning...
What makes you think,
Your awakening for me is going to be a life changer?
You are the one who has been tricked.
I am not that kind of a fool.
~I didn't believe they could be that way.~
Well...
Now you know.
~I didn't believe me they would betray.~
Well...
Now you know,
Just how far others will go...
To pretend to be what they are not.
And a...
No offense.
But you're in my space.
Please get out of it.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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More Than Enough to Give
I'm not in need to make love,
To know it.
I did make love and gave it.
And I don't regret heated moments missed,
Dripping in sweat after sex.
I'm not in need,
To make that kind of love,
To know it.
I'm not in need to make love,
To know it.
Everytime I feed to you,
And expression I am feeling...
It comes from love.
Every moment you are in my thoughts...
With an image brought into mind.
It comes from love.
Anytime I find I can be there,
With a message to deliver...
To send to be felt by you within,
It comes from love.
So does my anguish.
When I mistake your response,
Misunderstanding a nuance.
And beset by confusion,
No one intended to begin!
To leave what was meant...
To end in lament.
That too comes from love.
And it took those misunderstandings,
To make this understood...
It comes from love.
I'm not in need to make love,
To know it.
I did make love and gave it.
And I don't regret heated moments missed,
Dripping in sweat after sex.
I'm not in need to make love,
To know it.
I need to make life more loved.
To allow me within it to grow.
And to see it...
Everywhere in my view.
And if I do that now...
More love than I ever knew,
Can be known.
And that's the kind of love,
I've grown to be let shown.
And my need for that overwhelms.
Just like love does,
When anyone is in it...
And knows that what one has,
Is more than enough to give.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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You and Your Neighbor
You are correct!
I will not get upset,
Over those things your neighbor
Has done to you.
Nor do I care about those things shared,
The two of you choose to do!
You and your neighbor,
Have been doing what you do for years.
That what has been done now escalates?
Is none of my business.
I've never been invited on your discreet escapades.
And today I could care less,
About this mess going on between you two.
You are correct!
I will not get upset,
Over those things your neighbor
Has done to you.
Nor do I care about those things shared,
The two of you choose to do!
Remember then when I made my comments?
And you said to me,
My comments made were making you about to vomit?
You should have purged then!
Not today!
When you're knee deep in the mess you are in!
You are correct!
I will not get upset,
Over those things your neighbor
Has done to you.
If anything,
I congratulate you both!
You have graduated from avoidable ignorance...
To flat out public scrutiny that is assessed as stupidity.
No!
I do not want a cup of coffee.
I prefer these days to walk in peace,
And alone!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Low Profile
One's low profile is best to keep,
When the doing of a task one needs to complete...
To ensure a doing of it gets done.
Since many prefer to make announcements,
To then become upset...
If their efforts attempted have not yet kept,
A date set that never happens.
Why?
A seeking to get attention mentioned,
Has become more the priority than the deed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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In Their Minds
He may not win an election,
To lead a country.
Solely based on the color of his skin.
But he has shown what he can do brilliantly!
And that is represent himself,
With a poise and dignity.
Whether it is in speeches he gives,
Or an insight he has while standing on his feet.
Wherever he travels to parts of the world he is in!
We have to give him that!
And he does this all,
Without an appearance of a boombox,
Jive language or in shorts to show...
He plays terrific basketball!
Proving he can do these things,
Although he can upset some with his arrogance...
Who are extremely appalled.
Afterall...
There are many who oppose him.
Knowing 'they' are the ones he should defend.
If he would just dropp the notion of becoming president...
And with them become their point guard.
To help them secure championships!
In their minds what other reason,
Does he have to exist?
And assisting in winning all the games.
To bring a collective attention to their 'gifts'.
'That is better stated.
I personally still find it offensive...
But it is easier to take,
Than that last crude statement you made, Jesse!
However...
This one has less jealousy detected.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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With A Push Afoot
Stampeded in a heated field,
And crushed by one's beliefs.
Eventually has shown to those,
A strong faith kept succeeds.
And...
Lessons taught,
Once hard to face...
Surfaces to show,
A Sunrise seen exposes...
Truth is not disposable.
Those burdens carried on one's back,
Fall off like a stunned rat trapped.
Stampeded in a heated field,
And crushed by one's beliefs.
Eventually has shown to those,
A strong faith kept succeeds.
And...
Lessons taught,
Once hard to face...
No longer face defeat.
With a push afoot,
All stampedes ceases.
All input,
Seeks honesty.
With a push afoot,
All stampedes ceases.
All input,
Seeks honesty.
Stampeded in a heated field,
And crushed by one's beliefs.
Eventually has shown to those,
A strong faith kept succeeds.
With a push afoot,
All stampedes ceases.
All input,
Seeks honesty.
With a push afoot,
All stampedes ceases.
All input,
Seeks honesty.
And...
Lessons taught,
Once hard to face...
No longer face defeat.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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1. Two Red Candles Burning Through Night
chinese wedding
two red candles burn
though the night
wax sizzles,
drips, drips
with our red hot
passion for each other
drips, drips
fluidly down the bar
the whole night
drips, drips, with
each pause of
our desire
each hug of our
affirmation for
each other
drips, drips
with our thirst
for each other
drips, drips
and clings to
the bar, warm
as our bosoms
drips, drips
solidifying
the night into our
assurance
for each other
drips drips till
the morning
turning the night
into an ecstatic
tour de force,
a union crystallising in
a mass of bliss
resting quiet on
the base of two
exhaust candles
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo

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Through An Exit To Escape
It comes as no surprise,
By those who get things done.
That their efforts to do and achieve,
Are often criticized loudly.
And usually by the ones supported,
By others informed too late...
To discover who actually does the work,
That gets done by the ones...
Who eventually decide to step aside,
Through an exit to escape...
To prove what it is they've been accused of not doing.
While others await aging impatiently,
Listening to the ones they have supported and their excuses.
'When are you coming back to do what you use to do? '
~Are you kidding?
To leave my peace of mind behind,
And my time to be abused by those amused?
Who told you I was desperate for that kind of attention? ~
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Who Knew? Did You? Oh...Of Course Not!
I can understand you wish not to see,
My efforts gleam and shine.
I can understand that,
Yes I do!
Because those efforts,
Getting attention I did not pursue...
Are not those of yours,
But mine.
I did not know that would become fact.
I've been too busy toiling with sweat,
To remove obstacles carried...
Too long weighted on my back.
No...
I didn't realize my conscious efforts,
Would one day get attention.
Or attract like that!
Who knew?
Did you?
Oh...
Of course not!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Ideas For Walls
So many things in my head, Ive always had them before
No reason to be upset, theyre just ideas for walls
Now Im standing inside, outside, which is the right side
Im standing, demanding that the nightlife be called the right life
Like putting paint on my feet & walking sideways in rows
My walls could be so complete, complete with patterns of toes
Now Im standing inside, outside, which is the right side
Im standing the left side, right side, which is the right side
Now-ideas
Ideas for walls
Ideas for walls
Ideas for walls
A little m for the mirror, a double u for the wall
To make things perfectly clear, a great big h in the hall
Now Im standing inside, outside, which is the right side
Im standing, demanding that the nightlife be called the right life
Is everybody confused? (no) Im making no sense at all
You want a room with a view you need ideas for walls
Now Im standing inside, outside, which is the right side
Im standing inside, outside, outside, right side
Inside, outside, which is the right side
Now -- ideas
Ideas for walls
Ideas for walls
Ideas for walls
Ideas
Theyre just ideas for walls
Ideas for walls
Ideas for walls
Ideas for walls
Ideas for walls
song performed by by Men Without Hats

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I'm Not Upset! Not Yet!
Tell me where you go,
When you've got to leave me.
To say you're seeking some harmony!
Tell me where you go,
When you've got to leave me.
To say you're seeking some harmony!
I'm not upset!
Not yet!
'Cause,
I know you need alone time on your own.
I'm not upset!
Not yet!
'Cause,
I know you'll come back here to me at home.
Tell me where you go,
When you've got to leave.
I'm not upset.
Not yet,
'Cause...
I know you're needing some time alone on your own.
But you know at least you can pick up a telephone.
I'm not upset!
Not yet,
But...
Tell me where you go,
When you've got to leave me.
To say you're seeking some harmony!
Tell me where you go,
When you've got to leave me.
To say you're seeking some harmony!
I'm not upset!
Not yet!
'Cause,
I know you need alone time on your own.
I'm not upset!
Not yet!
'Cause,
I know you'll come back here to me at home.
I'm not upset!
Not yet!
But...
Something's getting heated and I'm feeling every bit.
I'm not upset!
Not yet!
But...
Something's getting heated and I'm feeling every bit.
I'm not upset!
Not yet!
But...
Something's getting heated and I'm feeling every bit.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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For The Dripping Of Their Own Sweat
Some people say the most ridiculous things,
In the defense of their own ignorance.
Why would someone,
With a consciousness firmly based in ego...
Believe someone would use their name,
To promote creative efforts...
Where their name does not clearly appear?
Near or far or anywhere?
~But it was me who inspired your talents.~
'Huh?
Excuse me...?
You said what? '
And I tried in my mind to convince myself,
What I am listening to them express...
Makes sense.
'Huh?
Excuse me...?
You said what? '
I do my best to give those 'props' where deserved.
And to whomever they belong!
'How' with an 'ever',
If I make the effort...
AND do the deed with my own supplied energy,
And with a motivation to get those deeds done...
The last thing on my mind,
Will be praising someone else's procrastination.
That lacks in initiative, passion or desire!
'Guess who wants to get paid,
For the dripping of their own sweat?
Guess? '
I do enjoy going to the amusement parks!
But to reside in one like some do...
In their minds?
Does not attract my ambitions for some reason!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Not Trying To Sell This
I don't feel that offended to defend my point of view.
Why would I feel a need to do it?
I can look back at my footsteps,
And realize I have lived my life with and without critique.
I continue to do the same thing to this day.
Only faith tested has brought me this far and kept me.
That is why I do not seek what your opinion of me is!
Your life as you live it has not been my main focus.
I have been conscious of my own experiences.
And they have kept me too emotionally busy.
Some when they came left me numb and stunned.
I don't feel that offended to defend my point of view.
It has been earned and I like it.
I am not trying to sell this to anyone,
Yet.
And when and 'if' that should happen...
I still wouldn't have any regrets.
Some delays expressed,
Maybe!
I have been fortunately blessed to place my steps,
Where they were urgently needed.
With just a few who knew from where they led!
To where they would come to grips,
With another experience welcomed to visit.
That's how I have come to look at it.
My life is to be lived!
So...
Make any attempt you wish to discredit my efforts!
Guess who would know it and still keep steppin'?
Feeling there is nothing from anyone,
I seeks that needs approval.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Obscenities Triggered
I've made no pledge with no one,
To stay and remain on edge.
Or become upset,
As a sign to gratify someone's expectation.
To later regret obscenities triggered...
By a blurted thoughtlessness.
For purposes a fool made too late reconsiders.
Sitting on stoops made for fools,
Is no longer my ambition to prove I can do it!
I have,
However...
Taken steps to check myself.
And let what disturbs me,
Correct itself.
To leave those who bait reactions,
Find others who are easily heated to snap back.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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