Like Never Before
I get to be who it is I am...
After digesting suggestions,
And recommendations
I protested.
With a racing mind.
I found my direction scattered.
My time alone shattered,
By thoughts of others
That grew as I became too full
Of 'who' said 'what' and 'how'
I should best approach my destiny!
Finding myself on my hands and knees...
Searching through doubts,
Held me enslaved in dismay!
I get to be who I am today...
And when I 'arrived'
As the drifting 'pieces'
Began to click and snap into place,
I could not believe the recognition I received!
With clarity and acceptance in attendance.
I embraced myself with the kind of joy,
I thought was not allowed.
I once buckled and bowed to disbelief!
Upon an appearance of relief that came to show!
I had used my tools to seal my grief,
Then.
Stunned by lack of self defense...
How quickly I discovered to shut my mouth.
Stepping over traps laid by naysayers,
Scouting to recruit weakness to smother quick...
With sympathy I had not reached to seek,
Nor expect with ambush.
And let my heart speak to me...
I did,
Like never before!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Related quotes
The Voice Says In My Heart
Dreaming of a life of peace,
Though I am shattered to pieces.
A damaged spirit, resulting from a defective mind.
Broken and irreparable, so I think.
But my thoughts got me here in the first place.
On my knees, looking up, I see the light.
Shining down on me from above.
It connects with the light inside.
The voices in my head silence.
My mind clears, true vision appears.
'Pick up the pieces.', the soft voice whispers from within.
'Many pieces, put together, makes a piece.'
'That is what you seek isn't it? '
'Give them to me, for the pieces are heavy'.
'What I have created, only I can fix.'
'It was broken by you in the first place.'
'Because I was not your first place.'
'I was your last. I was your end.'
'But now you have reached me, '
'Let me show you what I can do.'
'For I come with an eternal warranty and a misery back guarantee.'
Piece by piece, I was put back together.
Until I was one.
Not one with my thoughts, but one with my maker.
No longer listening to what the voices in my head say.
But to what the voice says in my heart.
As it whispers to me, I can feel it's voice.
'Peace.'
poem by Ryan Lee Morris

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Ambush
You're distant honey - Mr. Cool
You lock up your feelings - nobody's fool
You're facing the world
With your fist clenched tight
Tough guy - tough guy facing the fight
Don't forget to remember
She's coming up in back
Even you surrender
Surrender to her sweet attack
Ambush - ambush come from behind
Ambush - ambush capture your mind
Ambush - ambush I'm in disguise
Ambush - ambush take you by surprise
When you don't expect it
That's when she appear
Whisper your fancy - licking your ear
Put her arms around you - give a little squeeze
One little taste bring you to your knees
The way she touch - is almost too much
When she lay - lay that claim
You beg - begging her name
Ambush - ambush come from behind
Ambush - ambush capture your mind
Ambush - ambush I'm in disguise
Ambush - ambush take you by surprise
I'm telling you right up front
You're the prisoner
She do what she want
Ambush - ambush come from behind
Ambush - ambush capture your mind
Ambush - ambush I'm in disguise
Ambush - ambush take you by surprise
Ambush - ambush I'm in disguise
Ambush - ambush take you by surprise
song performed by by Heart from Passion Works

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Expect Your Value To Become Diminished
Would you like to discover your value quickly?
Here is a simple thing to do to test it...
With identity and dignity you pride inside,
Speak directly with honesty and truth...
In places not accustomed to it.
Begin with those who are family.
Then approach those you call friends.
I've seen this attempted by others.
Character assassinations began.
And you know there will be labelling done!
Well...
Some do not know this.
And are ready to seek approval and acceptance.
Expect your value to become diminished,
If you buy any of that, 'You are not like us' nonsense.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Fall Off! ...AGAIN!
What do you expect from me?
A sigh of relief?
A show of gratitude...
That we have ended our 'beefs'?
You waited much too long
To get off your 'high horse'...
Remove chips off your shoulders,
Continuing our discourse!
I know I'm not an angel,
Even though I can pretend I'm one!
But you didn't want to pretend at all...
Which left me rather hurt
To build this bitterness that has begun!
You shouldn't be stunned!
There has been many things I've done...
To end this foolishness!
But you were the one
Who thought your actions fun
And my patience has left you dismissed!
It has long said, 'Fall Off! Bitch! '
What do you expect from me?
A sigh of relief?
A show of gratitude...
That 'we' have ended out 'beefs'?
Coming to me now,
To say our friendship again you seek
Is much too late!
You thought I would wait,
But to me you're no more than a creep!
'Fall off! ...AGAIN! '
Don't bring me your grief!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Vivid Clarity: These Steps I Take
It is the 'who' in me pursued.
Appearing as I do before you...
Without references!
Either those accepted or dismissed.
And depending on your beliefs...
I was 'somewhere' in the heavens,
And 'asked' for this existence.
Whether or not that is true,
I am going to do my best...
To ensure my presence has been felt.
Suggestions given may come after I ask.
I am not seeking charity,
From those on goodwill missions...
Out to prove they have been chosen,
To condition minds...
With a conformed environment as the agenda.
'Peace my brother!
Have you been introduced to the Lord? '
These steps I have taken,
Were made on scraped knees and bruised feet.
Faith, hope and confidence arrived...
To discover me in doubt.
I ain't there no 'mo!
Vivid is my clarity.
These steps I take...
Only God knows what it took to make them.
Yes...
I know the Lord.
If you knew Him you would not have asked me that.
Vivid is my clarity.
These steps I take...
Only God knows what it took to make them.
Yes...
I know the Lord.
If you knew Him you would not have asked me that.
However,
I can tell by your eyes,
This is a fresh discovery?
With a desire to share!
And, I have been there.
I was born to chew, digest and enjoy the scenery!
Not to be caught up and lost in it.
Or bleed dramatically in public.
Without sound of applause.
I use to be shocked...
By the lack of sincere empathy unseen.
Observe. Experience. Feel!
And leave behind appropriate recommendations.
That is my assignment.
Someone, somewhere...
Will eventually find themselves exploring life,
Oppose to hoping for clues to magically appear...
Out of thin air.
With vivid clarity,
Are those steps I take!
And I didn't just awaken.
I began chipping away at obstacles,
When it became apparent...
My tears would not dissolve them!
Observe. Experience. Feel!
And leave behind appropriate recommendations.
That is my assignment.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Searching
I'm searching for something
Something I've already found
But not knowing that I've found it
Not even sure what it is that I've found
I'm not sure it's my soul that can't find it
Or my senses that seem to block my mind
From finding what I'm searching for that
I've already found
Or is it the heart that I can't trust to help me
Find my way to this thing I have found but don't know
I've found it
Is it the barrier we all have to come across?
That we will find but never know that we have found it
Or is it my lonesome imagination
trying to play tricks on me
I guess this is just one more thing
I have to deal with today
I know I'll always be searching
for something I've already found
And it will always be searching
for me but it has already found me
I know this thing I'm searching for
has and will change my life for the better
For I hold it very dear to me but don't know I do
And it holds me dear to it but
dose not know it holds me dear
I will always be within it
It will always be within me
We are part of each other
Pieces of a puzzle
The stars in the map of stars
Two wings of a butterfly
But what could it be that I'm searching for
Dose it think about me
Dose it wonder about who I am
Is it just as confused about me
as I am about it
as we lay on the blanket under the stars silently thinking
you turn on your side put your hand around me
then say so sweetly
so passionately
I'm so glad I found you baby
I've been looking for you for a life time
I love you and always will
for you are the only thing I’ve been
searching for
poem by Mrs. Cynosure

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The Mother's Funeral
Then died, lamented, in the strength of life,
A valued mother, and a faithful wife:
Call'd not away, when time had loosed each hold
On the fond heart, and each desire grew cold;
But when, to all that knit us to our kind,
She felt fast bound, as charity can bind; -
Not when the ills of age, its pain, its care,
The drooping spirit for its fate prepare;
And, each affection failing, leaves the heart
Loosed from life's charm, and willing to depart; -
But all her ties the strong invader broke,
In all their strength, by on tremendous stroke!
Sudden and swift the eager pest came on,
And terror grew, till every hope was gone;
Still those around appear'd for hope to seek:
But view'd the sick, and were afraid to speak.
Slowly they bore, with solemn step, the dead;
When grief grew loud, and bitter tears were shed,
My part began: a crowd drew near the place,
Awe in each eye, alarm in every face;
So swift the ill, and of so fierce a kind,
That fear with pity mingled in each mind;
Friends with the husband came, their griefs to blend;
For good-man Frankford was to all a friend.
The last-born boy they held above the bier;
He knew not grief, but cries express'd his fear;
Each different age and sex reveal'd its pain,
In now a louder, now a lower strain!
While the meek father, listening to their tones,
Swell'd the full cadence of the grief by groans.
The elder sister strove her pangs to hide,
And soothing words to younger minds applied:
'Be still, be patient;' oft she strove to say,
But fail'd as oft, and weeping turn'd away.
Curious and sad, upon the fresh-dug hill,
The village lads stood melancholy still;
And idle children, wandering to and fro,
As nature guided, took the tone of woe.
Arrived at home, how then they gazed around,
In every place - where she - no more was found: -
The seat at table she was wont to fill;
The fireside chair, still set, but vacant still;
The garden-walks, a labour all her own;
The latticed bower, with trailing shrubs o'ergrown;
The Sunday pew she fill'd with all her race, -
Each place of hers was now a sacred place:
That, while it call'd up sorrows in the eyes,
Pierced the full heart, and forced them still to rise.
poem by George Crabbe

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That's What Woke Me Up
In disbelief?
I was too,
Before I accepted.
There was a time,
I placed truth on trial.
Everything vivid,
Became for me a denial.
My thoughts and observations,
Were clearer than my own footsteps.
But when I began to follow my mind,
To leave doubt and fear behind...
I knew I was fine!
Not that I declared anything wrong.
I was not right with it.
And that took a long time to see.
I didn't understand that immediately.
Until I saw 'me'.
And the pieces on the outside,
Completed a total fit.
I began to see things as they were.
And not what I thought they should be.
I had been against the naturalness of it.
With interpretations I 'heard' should be mine.
I saw that to be imperfect.
And I became disturbed by it.
And doing my best to sit and fix the imperfect in me.
And God does not make mistakes on purpose.
To fake them as something done unconscious.
People do!
To unloosen but not tighten screws.
And that's what 'woke' me up!
I began to tighten up my activities quick,
To overdose on reality.
Now I've got my dosages under control.
In disbelief?
I was too,
Before I accepted.
There was a time,
I placed truth on trial.
Everything vivid,
Became for me a denial.
Until I saw 'me'.
And the pieces on the outside,
Completed a total fit.
I began to see things as they were.
And not what I thought they should be.
Because they could never be how I saw them.
I saw them to be imperfect.
Not comprehending a thing as I followed.
To become involved in an assortment of heartbreaks.
And God does not make mistakes,
To fake them as something done unconscious.
People do!
And I no longer follow those who have eyes,
They allow to remain clouded.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Defeating Insecurities
Allowed to manifest an infestation,
That protested a digesting of progress.
With visions kept focused on ignorance...
To leave all to seek the best of their weeping.
Look!
Simply put.
Flourishing hype and propaganda,
Debated for the purposes to maintain greatness...
Does not meet to satisfy,
Those pushed to the streets...
To glorify a losing quality of life.
Simply put,
And without proper etiquette...
Days of high profile postering,
In stances taken now weakened.
Has increasingly decreased a respect once received,
Defeating insecurities...
And those pretentions kept to have others believe.
Politics and indecisions exposed,
Does not keep aged old traditions fading...
Upper most in the minds of those in tattered clothes.
Fresh minds advancing to reach new plateaus...
Have decades ago,
Left horse drawn carriages.
While a population strolled along,
Under oil lighted street lamps...
Slowly walking upon those cobbled stone roads.
And the ones holding positions,
To keep days and times like this standing still...
Are the very same people,
Wishing to keep an implementation...
Of this mindset for many no longer exists.
An ignorance cemented and does not self examine,
Loses more than memories to relive and breathe.
Minds fixed and stubborn inflict wounds never to heal.
Wounds future generations will remember as revealed,
As those times when their ancestors fed upon greed...
And lost an opportunity for a greatness to seal.
Allowed to manifest an infestation,
That protested a digesting of progress.
With visions kept focused on ignorance...
To leave all to seek the best of their weeping.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Let Them 'Naysay' On
To the naysayers,
What can be said?
I believe they should be left alone!
We all have missions
Upon which we have embarked.
There is something we have elected,
To accomplish
On 'our' paths.
We seek to do that which we are here to do!
Aren't we?
And so are they!
So let's leave those naysayers to do what they do best!
Let them 'naysay' on...
With a satisfaction that brings a peace of mind,
If any of that they manage to find!
And we all know...
Accompanied by very little rest!
Within them there is an absence
Of that kind of mind!
And let us aspire to our own quests!
No one here should be seeking...
Requests from the naysayers' nests!
And on our time they would wish to take,
To indulge themselves and perfect their tests!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Recommendations Are Accepted As Donations
Pleasure prone,
And not quick to grasp concepts.
Even with suggestions made.
Depending upon the image and appearance!
With a few baubles, bangles and bright shiny beads.
And recommendations are accepted as donations,
From someone seeking to do charity work.
With a voluntary wish to be disrespected!
Instead of being thought of as one who comes,
To provide solutions to abundant ignorance.
That does more of an outreach than good deeds.
Exposing an unconcern,
Cemented in sustained temptation!
With a touch of grief.
As if a prerequisite for life has been learned.
But not a comfortable fit to live or like.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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On Journalism
I can't speak now. My mouth has been taped shut.
I can't move. I've been bound and tied to a chair.
I've had an unsettling feeling in my gut.
I'm a prisoner. I'm a captive held where
I can't snap the ropes binding my legs, my arms
Together. I can only wait for harm
That seems impending and close to approach. I
Can only be a hostage. I don't know why.
poem by Tim Stensloff

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This Action Should Strengthen Your Vision!
Now I'm getting your attention.
As if you are allowing your ears to listen.
Your eyes to uncloud from their haze.
With your mouth shocked shut.
And I'm to do 'something' with this focus?
Was it ever mentioned,
Your attention was not on my agenda?
In brief encounters I wanted to extend my hand.
And in doing so you became offended.
In brief encounters I wanted to take a stand,
Against all that I thought...
You too prioritized in your life.
I did not approach you to assist,
In the conflicts you fight.
Igniting them for purposes to mask your insecurities.
I am of peace!
Not about that nonsense you daily release.
As frequently as your choice to use cuss words.
To cuss yourself and others,
With a desire to be overheard!
NOW I'm getting your attention.
As if you are allowing your ears to listen.
Your eyes to uncloud from their haze.
Your mouth shut.
And I'm to do 'something' with this focus?
What do you expect?
A magic wand followed by 'Hocus Pocus? '
A begging on my knees pleading a forgiveness?
While you and the others,
Use that as another joke to provoke?
Look...
Let me help you understand something here!
I'm not seeking to sacrifice my time to charities.
Those donations have been exhausted.
Nor do I intend to give away anything I have,
I myself desperately need.
What I offered to you was a quality of life,
I had to recognize to appreciate the giving of it away.
Something basic to share I hoped would stay with you.
I came to you to extend,
An open-ness that was not judgemental.
Sincere in the giving.
Something you could have shared with someone...
And I would be on my way!
But you decided to turn that into betrayal.
And today you perceive it okay,
That I should welcome your decay?
Now I'm getting your attention.
As if you are allowing your ears to listen.
Your eyes to uncloud from their haze.
With your mouth shocked shut.
And I'm to do 'something' with your focus?
Oh...
And I am too!
Watch me as I distance myself from you.
AND maintain your focus.
This action should strengthen your vision!
If not...
Click your heels three times for clarity.
And...
Do not believe I am embittered.
Or 'sweet'.
I've been mistaken for both too often.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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2 Of A Kind
You struck me like lightning
Turned my world upside down
When I first laid my eyes on you
This feelings really frightening
Cuz it seems to me Ive found
The perfect man of all for me to choose
Used to dream of such a man like you
Never thought it would come true
Boy you are the answer to my prayers
I never felt like this before and
You have opened up the door
Into a space that I would never dare
Cuz you give my life a meaning
And this love we have together
Is lifting my heart to a higher ground
I was searching, seeking, finding
Love came out from its hiding
And baby, Im so pleased at what I found
The way you seem to be, the only one for me
This love is truly special, were 2 of a kind
Ive got you on my mind, were 2 of a kind
This heart of mine is beating inside my chest
And baby, its you that I adore
The nights we spend together are by far the best
That any woman could be wishing for
Were lucky baby its like that
This aint no opposites atract
You make up for all the bad in me
So when days of trouble come around
You know Id never let you down
Right by your side is where I want to be
Cuz you give my life a meaning
And this love we have together
Is lifting my heart to a higher ground
I was searching, seeking, finding
Love came out from its hiding
And baby, Im so pleased at what I found
The way you seem to be, the only one for me
This love is truly special, were 2 of a kind
Ive got you on my mind, were 2 of a kind
Written by dr jam / vanessa williams
song performed by by Vanessa Williams

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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End of Discussion
You may be the only one on Earth,
Craving the scent of your own BS.
Let me clarify my distance for you.
I am no longer trying to mend communication ties broken.
There has been too much time wasted playing hide and seek.
You wish to live life on your terms?
Fine.
But I am not going to adjust to your 'do-as-I-say'
'Not-as-I-do philosophy!
If space is going to be shared between us...
We are not just going to meet in it to just have sex,
And guesses.
Or will doubts lay smothered,
Under fear of hurting sensitive feelings.
If you can not be honest with yourself...
Don't expect me to understand!
Your growth issues and lack of acceptance,
Are not 'my' insecurities.
You may be the only one on Earth,
Craving the scent of your own BS.
I'm not in love with you to that extent.
Nor am I waiting for you to open windows,
To clear the atmosphere with fresh air!
I've made deposits of time invested in this relationship.
And I have not received the benefit of your return.
And I 'know' I had at least earned that!
Yet...
That was lacking.
When my patience with you allowed me to sit.
With an open mind as I 'then' saw fit,
Ran out of excuses.
I knew I had 'had' it.
And it was time to split!
That's why it was necessary for me to make a withdrawal.
And leaving you became an attractive exit.
With no 'cussin' or 'fussin'.
End of discussion!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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If You Say My Eyes Are Beautiful
Each day I live
I want to be
A day to give
The best of me
I'm only one
But not alone
My finest day
Is yet unknown
I broke my heart
Fought every gain
To taste the sweet
I face the pain
I rise and fall
Yet through it all
This much remains
I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity
I've lived to be
The very best
I want it all
No time for less
I've laid the plans
Now lay the chance
Here in my hands
Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity
You're a winner for a lifetime
If you seize that one moment in time
Make it shine
Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will be
I will be
I will be free
I will be
I will be free
song performed by by Whitney Houston

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One Who Has Sacrificed With A Kept Pace
Something done persistently,
Eventually wears on the body and mind...
Of the one who has given time to find,
Without a resting to qualify this to be done...
Like some who give their recommendations,
Misunderstanding the drive it has taken...
To make sure things are set in place.
They would never understand,
One who has sacrificed with a kept pace.
Well...I do.
And it is not from that which I am doing today.
It is a much needed rest,
From that which has taken years in the making
To create.
Never before considered the connection between,
Aches and pains and the lack of rest.
Until my mind and body began to beg for some.
And getting as much as I can get to just rest,
To prioritize for myself is best.
And aging has made me more aware of this!
Without proper rest,
The body and mind begins to insist it be done.
And quick with a paying of attention.
Oh...
You don't need to shout so loud.
I hear you very clearly.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Dont Shut Me Out
Don't shut me out maybe baby
We should talk about it
'Cause you've got your doubts but maybe, baby
They might be unfounded
Have a little faith you'll make it through
I'd never hesitate to talk to you
If you tell me just what's weighing on your mind
Maybe it could help you sleep tonight
So don't shut me out
Don't be so proud don't ya know that
Before a fall it leaves ya
And it'll take you down baby that ain't
Where I wanna see ya
The sun'll rise tomorrow come what may
And you'll feel better than you do today
And in time you'll cry no more
I know 'cause my heart's been there before
And here I am when you need someone
My shoulder's yours to cry upon
And everybody now and then
Needs and understanding friend around
So don't shut me out
Don't shut me out maybe baby
We should talk about it
'Cause you've got your doubts but maybe, baby
They might be unfounded
Listen to your heart and clear your mind
And you will find the answer every time
Every road you travel on will lead
To where it is your heart's supposed to be
And here I am when you need someone
My shoulder is yours to cry upon
And everybody now and then
Needs an understandin' friend around
So don't shut me out, don't shut me out, don't shut me out
song performed by by Keith Urban

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Broken
You're the air that I breathe
The sun when it breaks through the clouds
You're all that I need
But I know that you're having some doubts
Beggin' you please girl
I'm sorry I let you down
I'm broken like a promise
I'm shattered like a dream
I'm broken with all my pieces scattered 'round for you to see
I'm broken like record
I sing the same old song
I'm broken like the heart of a man that's run away from love too long
Girl what about you
What about you girl
It's so hard to speak
I can barely look you in the eye
It's so hard to breathe
I know I ain't afraid to die
Your breath is so sweet
Your kisses could get me high
My heart is so weak
But your loving could get me by
I'm broken like a promise
I'm shattered like a dream
I'm broken with all my pieces scattered 'round for you to see
I'm broken like record
I sing the same old song
I'm broken like the heart of a man that's run away from love too long
Girl what about you
What about you girl
I'm broken like a promise
I'm shattered like a dream
I'm broken with all my pieces scattered 'round for you to see
I'm broken like record
I sing the same old song
I'm broken like the heart of a man that's run away from love too long
Girl what about you
What about you girl
Girl what about you
What about you girl
Girl what about you
song performed by by Everlast

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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As I Began to Love Myself – Self Love Poem
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
As I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time
was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this
person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens
at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do
and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in
my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for
my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew
me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude
a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since
I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry
about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING
is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my
mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this
connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing
new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!
poem by Charlie Chaplin

Submitted by Mihaela P
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