Knowing What It Has Taken
Knowing what it has taken,
To make those forward steps made...
Gives me the satisfaction,
Of not having my movements distracted...
By every ache and pain I felt.
To discourage with a listening,
Of those who said...
What it was I should and could not do.
And...
Knowing what it has taken,
To ignore limitations and choose to move...
With my eyes open,
And overlooking all mental and physical...
Obstacles.
Has proven to me,
It is with a doing done with excuses to overcome.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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In It I Trust
I have felt pain.
But there was nothing to gain,
By a prolonged weeping to achieve.
I have been treated as if I did not exist.
By those I loved devotedly.
And laid to share a nakedness with.
Names I have been called,
Some of which were within listening distance.
As if I had been born,
Without feelings felt to experience.
I have had lows.
To make anyone's bottom,
Appear to be 'up' for me.
But...
Such faith I have and in it I trust.
I have felt pain.
But there was nothing to gain,
By a prolonged weeping to achieve.
I have learned many times to get up off my knees.
And to step over obstacles left to leave behind.
With a looking forward I do as I keep this belief...
My best to give is only for those knowing,
In the giving of it that is shared...
There is a mutual deserving of it to cherish.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Selected to Make Decisions
So behind the eight ball.
Those that can not see the forest...
But also can not interpret the tea leaves.
Even if they had a sip of it,
They would choose to have it sweetened.
Regardless of the affects or purpose.
Or the intentions of the ingredients.
To move and advance forward,
There has to be steps made!
This requires effort.
With a fading of rhetoric.
And the saving of the paving of it.
When someone claims to be aware,
But can not see a moving truck.
Or stares at a beachball...
That hits them in the head,
Because they do not duck.
I pause for concern!
Something in their 'awareness'
A common sense has not been taught
From experiences learned.
And these are the folks who provoke without knowing.
So behind the eight ball.
Those that can not see the forest...
But also can not interpret the tea leaves.
Even if they had a sip of it,
They would choose to have it sweetened.
Regardless of the affects or purpose.
Or the intentions of the ingredients.
These are the folks who see an oncoming train.
And stand in the middle of the tracks to ask...
'If I stood here,
Would that train hit me?
And if it did...
Will I get hurt? '
And they have been selected to make decisions,
Based upon their wisdom!
To move and advance forward,
There has to be steps made!
This requires effort.
With a fading of rhetoric.
And the saving of the paving of it.
Observe situations as they are.
And not how one chooses them to be.
See clearly the obstacles!
And perceive reality...
As being something based upon concepts concrete!
It makes the living of one's life much easier.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Defeated Insecurities
Until I can stand on my feet,
And declare I've defeated insecurities
That drove me to crawl on my knees,
In search of myself...
Shall I believe,
Any steps I take from that moment on
Are mine!
And you are no longer an obstacle,
Observed...
Or viewed as blocking my path!
I can then walk knowing,
I can move around you!
And leave you behind without concern,
Of how far I've traveled beyond the distrust
I had of my own ability to move forward,
With faith and satisfaction.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Cannot Go Ahead
I CANNOT GO AHEAD
I cannot go ahead-
Today is not the day -
I just don’t have the right feeling in me-
I confess
I make excuses-
Out of the confession and excuses
I try to overcome
By writing these poor lines.
I feel in spite of all I have done
Or tried to do
That I have truly done nothing
And all depends only
On my building my confidence
By writing this would- be- poem now.
And now that I have done it
I not knowing whether it real or not
I feel, wrongly or not,
‘I am beginning to open and flow again’.
‘
poem by Shalom Freedman
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One Step Closer
I'm 'round the corner from anything that's real
I'm across the road from hope
I'm under a bridge in a rip tide
That's taken everything I call my own
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
I'm on an island at a busy intersection
I can't go forward, I can't turn back
Can't see the future
It's getting away from me
I just watch the tail lights glowing
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
Knowing, knowing
I'm hanging out to dry
With my old clothes
Finger still red with the prick of an old rose
Well the heart that hurts
Is a heart that beats
Can you hear the drummer slowing?
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
To knowing, to knowing, to knowing
song performed by by U2
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For Far Too Many Days, Months and Years
The only point that you can make...
That can be proven,
Is a disappearance made.
And you can save any excuses,
You would like to waste time to make...
To use on someone else.
Any shallow steps you wish to correct,
That had in the past been done...
Have been placed.
And if you did not know what you were doing then...
Today will not make the difference.
For far too many days, months and years,
With my tears flowing for hours...
You have accused me for not understanding.
Well...
Today I do!
And it is clear you and I are through.
I'm not here to rehash and trash the past.
That 'fact' does not need another re-enactment.
Backward movements I'm not taking.
And that merry-go-round has stopped.
You're the only one wishing to ride it!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Like You I Am A Human Too
I've made it clear I do not fear,
Obstacles appearing to be near.
Although I use to manifest a resistance,
With a distance kept persisted.
And my mind is not delayed,
To replay mistakes I've made.
Knowing that it took a lot to do,
Since like you I am a human too!
And at times I can get nervous...
With a purpose that I service.
But I don't allow my feet,
To freeze my movement in defeat.
Nor will I sit and brood,
Like any loser who excuses what they do!
I've made it clear I do not fear,
Obstacles appearing to be near.
Although I use to manifest a resistance,
With a distance kept persisted.
And my mind is not delayed,
To replay mistakes I've made.
Knowing that it took a lot to do,
Since like you I am a human too!
And I might boo-hoo,
But none will I do around you!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Still Alive
When I feel that I am nothing,
Empty hands and light head
When I feel that I am floating
Not knowing where to go
Or what to do
Not remembering where I come from
Not knowing why
Things must go and disappear
I touch myself
I pinch my skin
I move and occupy another space
To check
If I still set aside
What Is there and what isn’t
I move to fill an emptiness
I go I step forward
To know where life is
I inflict pain
Just to know if I am still alive
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Already Open!
are we called to love?
or driven, by an unseen hand?
are we the fire,
or the memory of?
is it he who plants the seed,
or the seed itself?
are we alone,
or do we walk with the dead?
concepts! mental cages.
who builds the cage?
who fights against the latch?
in lonliness we struggle,
never knowing ourselves.
painting the picture
of the bird in flight...
not knowing we are the bird,
the flapping of wings,
and the sky!
not knowing, not knowing...
still we dream,
dreams that taste and smell!
are we dreaming?
or part of the dream?
abstract and vague,
we fumble for the key.
never knowing, never knowing,
the door is already open!
poem by Eric Cockrell
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The Crossroad
They both were at a crossroad
in where they wanted to be.
The fast lane was the one for him,
the easy pace for she.
Up 'til now they ventured forth
and matched each other's steps.
She awoke one day with the knowing
that these steps were a mismatch.
She could not, would not live this life.
She'd have to start from scratch.
Up 'til now she just went along
though it felt so wrong.
He awoke one day with the knowing
that life was passing him by.
There was so much more he needed to explore
before his time to die.
Up 'til now he never knew
there was so much more he wanted to do.
And so the crossroad confronted them
and they both knew pain.
He would move on and not look back.
She would never complain.
For to hold him back would not be right.
He charged ahead out of her sight.
poem by Edwina Reizer
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Being a Fool Is Easier
Those words may not always be there to say,
What feelings felt in moments bring.
And finding in my mind what my heart knows best...
Sometimes from my lips are not there to confess.
I am not trained to disconnect,
From sensitivities I don't expect.
I am not trained to just neglect...
My eyes from impressions.
Or my ears from remembered lessons.
I choose to move in forward steps.
Sweeping away experiences...
I have yet to perfect.
What I do is done with a truth I pursue.
Making excuses for myself I refuse to do.
And admitting this is not difficult.
Since I will be the first to say...
Being a fool is easier.
Than to hide and have someone decide,
If I am trying to hard to say what's inside.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Like the Rusting Does
The foundation laid for this creation is deep.
While some snore away their time...
Others find none to nod.
Or a wink of sleep to tease,
What is needed to be done!
Some will never know what it takes,
Or the sacrifices made...
To break free and shake loose,
From petty excuses heard...
To pleasure the thoughts of one to do nothing!
There are too many steps to take,
To shake away barriars prior to attempting to succeed
At success.
Too many obstacles to face in fear to get over.
Too many alone moments in cold sweats.
Uncertain if decisions made will bring happiness,
Or regrets!
And too many excuses heard...
By someone who pesters,
The movement of one's forward steps.
But not letting an upsetting collect dust...
Like the rusting does under annoying fakers,
Wishing to trip up one's quickly paced stride!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Prose: Achieving Your Goal
The most important things in life are often those we have to choose from at critical times. They very often represent and determine the course our life will take and to what extent we have in controlling or shaping it. With whatever choice we make, opportunities arise and by making the most of these we realise the relative benefits to be gained or otherwise. Through our committment and willingness to achieve a goal, irrespective of what obstacles there may be or we come across, we move forward and progress is made in our endeavour. If the goal is something we have set our mind and heart on whatever setbacks or obstacles are encountered we should take them to be the hurdles to overcome.
By repeated experience we learn the necessary disciplines with which to train or involve our mind and body to reach our goal. When we recognise and forego or sacrifice certain habits that are not conducive to our overall progress we release more energy by which to accomplish our end. By sustained right effort we put in motion the train of events that will bring about the right results, but we should not be too attached to the fruits thereof. Too much attachment is a cause of blindness, disappointment and suffering. However with the right mental attitudes including positive thinking and actions we should learn from and leave behind past failures by always striving onwards to our desired objective or set goal.
-------------------------
poem by George Krokos
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Nothing That Is Desired Is A Given
If you want to know more,
About what it is like to experience life.
Ignore everything you've heard about it.
And on your own,
Explore.
And if on your journey,
Your path has upon it obstacles you fear...
Choose first to understand why they are there.
Stay determined, be persistent.
And time will not be a factor...
As those obstacles you witnessed from you disappear.
However...
You will also welcome the sweating it takes to get it done.
And the joy comes in the knowing that you did it!
Stay determined, be persistent.
And with that fixed in your mind you will know,
Nothing that is desired is a given without sacrificing.
And your life,
With that in perspective...
Will be abundantly filled with experiences.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Corrected To Experience The Value
There is one distinct disadvantage someone has,
When defending to protect denials they've accepted.
It gets exhausting to the one listening continually,
Knowing what to expect before the act itself is done.
With a dipping into a vat of excuses,
To predict what one does to get the same outcome.
You see...
Time and seasons move forward.
Unforgiving who is left behind they leave.
And some people without this understanding,
Never change with a stubbornness to remain the same.
With a holding on they keep like a picture in a dusting frame.
Many learn to admit a mistake when made,
With a quickness to admit this without being assisted.
And others can not admit what they do to others,
As if to play a game!
Until their backs are up against a wall.
With a pulling of teeth from their mouths to fall.
To make little difference if a mistake is admitted at all.
And adults who do this are worse than the kids.
At least with children there is a sense,
Of wanting to be corrected to experience the value of it.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The Glare Of Threats
Unafraid of the challenge,
One dares to overcome...
The glare of threats.
And without regret,
Forward steps are taken.
Limitations are removed.
And the air one breathes,
Seems to sweeten.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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A offer to differ
We offer condolences
Without knowing the impact of death
We offer the advices
Without knowing what is wrath
We only feel
Try to steal
Not knowing what to do
It is exactly true
To know the sweetness
You must test bitterness
To know the truth
One must know the untruth
To know the test of wine
Under intoxication one should feel fine
To smell the flavor
One must know the flower
It is to be felt
Some fields need no tests
Poison may remain always poison
You should no go after it to find the reason
Air may not be seen but surely felt
Magic is seen and experienced but never spelled
To know the heaven one should not think even
Hell is always hell and need not be proven
poem by Hasmukh Amathalal
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Depression
Depression is …
Feeling alone
Depression is …
Knowing this will never change
Depression is …
Knowing your best isn’t good enough
Depression is…
Knowing nothing you do matters
Depression is …
Realizing your best days have gone
Depression is …
Looking forward to the end
Depression is…
Knowing no one really cares that you are looking forward to the end
Depression is…
Is knowing no one cares if you take your own life
poem by Broken Hearts
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The Hiding Place
you have been here
you must remember
i am back and i shall
have no regrets
this is my hiding place
with no description
it is only you knowing this
knowing me
knowing what is this all about
this comfort of silence
this longing unsatisfied
this dreams unrealized
nature does not weep
it simply grows and blooms
like everybody else
you and i do not belong
to the open
we are not overlooking
the sea
we are inside this cave
deep down in its dampness
we are shadows
we weep because we are alive
we ask when and what next
we wait for there is no answer yet
this is our hiding place
this place of the heart
this beating and pumping
never-ending never gaining
anything
yet never losing too
gazing at the eyes of life
uncomplaining
uncompromising
if nature now weeps
so let it be
soon we shall know
its answer
perhaps after this
heavy rain
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Sorry To Disappoint
Would you rather that I'd be bent and twisted?
Raging in fits.
Unable to handle the slide and dip,
Of my quality of life?
That's not the way I choose to live.
Or the outlook of my life I would like!
Not me.
And if I felt that way...
You wouldn't see it!
My eyes have been wide open too long.
The steps I've taken have been calculated,
To confront and not ignore impossible obstacles.
And finding them more feared!
Each time I got near them.
Until I removed doubt and replaced that with faith!
I'm not good at faking defeat or submission.
After tasting humiliation a few times,
And realizing that strengthened my mind...
I began to welcome challenges!
With criticisms and judgements passed.
Relying on luck is not the way I live.
I've learned to trust myself.
And keep my mouth shut...
Around others who wish to describe every pain they have,
Without a word of gratitude expressed...
For anything or anyone!
Would you rather that I'd be bent and twisted?
Raging in fits.
Unable to handle the slide and dip,
Of my quality of life?
Sorry to disappoint.
But none of your opinions,
Or other shared thoughts...
Are on my agenda!
Right now.
But who knows?
Things do change,
And rearrange themselves over time...
When a mind can become absent of consciousness.
I recommend and suggest,
You become less preoccupied with a mental diminishing
That seems to keep you attracted.
None of us are above being snapped or cracked.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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