For A Host Of Reasons

2010 comes to an end.
And for a host or reasons...
Some who had stood,
On shaky ground...
Have found that standing tall,
Has come to motivate...
A determination to do it.
And to do this...
Without need of support,
Or limitations of assistance.

And as some skin is peeled away,
To enjoy its fruit within...
Some can say,
They have discovered a better way...
To share with another,
A life that had been taken for granted.
But now they can taste without waste,
Something overlooked before not thought delicious.
Something about this gift given,
That has been cleared of needless mental debris.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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These Days 'Everything' Seems To Be Shaky

We all seem to be needing,
Some sort of life support these days.
To say nothing is what it use to be,
Is an understatement...
Made by many of us,
Walking around in a daze.

Up use to be UP.
And being 'down' was easily detected,
By those with frowns.
But it is hard to say who is swayed,
Or who is standing on solid ground.
If any validity of that can be found.

We all seem to be needing,
Some sort of life support these days.
To say nothing is what it use to be,
Is an understatement...
Made by many of us,
Walking around in a daze.

And delayed common sense,
To prevent protected thoughts from leaking.
Is perhaps the best defense,
For a peace kept to keep that one is seeking.
Even speaking these days seems to be a waste.
Will eventually be labelled crazed is some way.

Up use to be UP.
And being 'down' was easily detected,
By those with frowns.
But it is hard to say who is swayed,
Or who is standing on solid ground.
If any validity of that can be found around.

These days 'everything' seems to be shaky!
In a waiting for 'something'...
To either be settled.
Or disturbingly break.

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From a Deeply Rooted Vision

The laughs have faded
On the path chosen
One for years has walked alone.
In silent tears...
God assured would someday dry,
To bring one praise.

And deep within a faith kept,
Allowed steps made forward...
To continue through thunder.
The ground would shake beneath one's feet.
And yet with determination,
One would keep seeking that which is desired.

Feeling blessed with a gratefulness expressed,
Each day.
As those laughs once heard...
Now brings a smile to one's face.
Tears have been replaced with joy!
And this journey has uncovered,
Much fruit to share from a harvest...
No one can deny,
Who is closely identified...
With the toil of its planting!

Those who stood by to criticize in idled time...
Offer cheers.
But one who reaps and wipes a sweating brow,
Does what has to be done...
To fulfill one's purpose.
Not expecting to be watched,
How obstacles are removed to unblock...
From a deeply rooted vision!
Cleared with the assistance of The Almighty!

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Host For Stagnation

I am not one to participate,
In an exchange of pointless narratives...
As to 'why' or 'why not' an action taken was done.

If the action has been done,
That's it.
An act of completion has been witnessed.
There is no need to quibble over an option taken.
Or reasons why that choice was made.

It was made.
It was done!
Debates about it are a waste of time.
Not just for me...
But the ones who elect to use their minds.

And time wasted when one can least afford it...
Is a meaningless act.
To belabor a decision.
And to question one's reasoning!
To critique a depth of meaning.
Of the act itself...
After a choice was offered.
To feed what purpose?
To serve what cause?

Why is that worthy of anyone,
A ponder or a pause?
What is the initiative,
For doing something like this?
Can an ego be that slow to motivate?
To concentrate a participation on that?

Come on.

The process is useless!
Unless one is the host for stagnation?
And those affairs I avoid with determination.

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There Is No Delegation

Delegate?
An assistance with my fate?
When one has discovered,
The 'who' within themselves?
There is no delegation.
However...
There is a realization,
Of a determination that elates.
And that within one's self is declared as owned.
There is little need to share this discovery.
An honest awakening occurs that is known!
Seeking passengers...
Just delays an impatient 'trip'!
And this carried within self,
Is better left unexpressed and best as shown!

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It Has Been Earned

What more can be believed,
When only one belief is given.
One can be set free...
When truth is not a perception of life.
But received as an acknowledgement of it.
And that is not a perception...
To be defined by someone's acceptance,
Or rejection of a presence full of light!

One's awakening to the 'self'
Provides all truth defined!
And a peace of mind like that discovered and found,
Is not a debate subjected to confusion or mental conflict.
Awaiting one to be attached and baited.
Scraped over hot coals to be heated.
To fulfill a use...
Until that has been done to deplete.
In a despair that mistreats with deception.

It has been earned!
That peace of mind that comes one finds.
Burning with desire,
That rises one from an entangled mire.
Freed and cleared of such divisions.
Uncompromised by doubt!

One should not invite confusion of any kind.
Not in these times when that is readily available.
Beseech and reach for a higher consciousness,
That pleases.
Share it...
And release someone,
Who feels trapped and shackled...
Attracted to a designed bondage.
Enforced by practiced limitations known!

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Shakey Ground

Lady luck and the four leaf clover
Wont ease this hurt,i feel all over
My life was one special occasion
Till u leave me damp in the situation
Well well well standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
Standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
My car got repossessed this morning
Harder times I havent seen in years
Able to throw me a life preserver
'cos Im about to drown in my own tears
Well well well standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
Standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
Well well well standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
Standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
Standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
Well well well standing on shakey ground
Shaking, shakey ground
Standing, standing
Standing on shakey ground

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Go Mental

Out of the hospital out against my will
Life is so beautiful Ive gone mental
Mental mental
Ive killed my family they thought I was an oddity
Life is so beautiful I am a vegetable
Mental mental
Ive gone mental Ive gone mental
Staring at my goldfish bowl popping phenobarbitol
Life is so beautiful Ive gone mental mental mental
Sitting on my window sill life is so beautiful
Ive become irrational Ive gone mental
Mental mental Ive gone mental

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Lifted

Sometimes I am astounded,
As to what I find profound.
It may be a word...
Or something that I've heard,
That turns my head around.

Often when I read,
I get ideas that are teased...
By a thought that becomes solid,
And sound!

And then I realize,
Even I can become quite surprised
How my mind is 'lifted'...
With bits of mental treasures.
Where they sit to be discovered!
And when they 'gift' as they are found!

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Mesmerized By That Saccharine

You may be mesmerized by that saccharine,
And over-the-top pre-sweetened presentation.
So alluring and false.
But not a tooth in my mouth has been decayed,
By chopping down on what is rotten.

I've already had my share and taste of it!
That's why I offer no opinion,
To anyone who believes...
What they are eating is delicious.

Since I at one time thought the same thing...
Until I discovered that addiction,
Was the reason I stayed sick!
And I wish you knew how much it hurts me,
To see you defenseless licking your lips!

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Hollowed Beliefs

I awakened with a taste for greatness.
My eyes before,
Were set upon limitations...
Wasted.

What I did not have,
Saddened the feeding...
Of hollowed beliefs!
Like chores ignored...
I became bored,
With the good I had...
But did not increase!
With an emergence,
To set my mind at peace!

I awakened with thoughts...
An emptiness I brought!
Doubts and blame,
I had indentified by name.
Grief I could not release...
Until I realized what I had to shed!
I had to remove all those 'things',
I alone put into my head!
And a discouragement I nurtured then...
Found me too boring,
And fled with the wind!

It tried with ease to breeze up on me again...
When,
I awakened with a taste for greatness.
My eyes before,
Were set upon limitations...
Wasted.
And I discovered the familiarity!
Chasing it away...
For good!

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The gift and the feast

The cost of the gift must not be compared
With the cost of the feast thrown, by the host.
The feast stands for the host's potentials.
The gift stands for the guests' limitations.
26.04.2012

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I Am Shaky Today

I AM SHAKY TODAY

I am shaky today-
Why I am not sure
But after all I have been through
And after all I have done
And all I have learned
And all the many times I have gotten through shakiness in the past
I am shaky today
As if all my life and its lessons have been for nothing
And I cannot control a simple mood-
I am shaky today
Like the earth might open up and swallow me forever -
I am shaky –Shaky-
After all these years
I have learned nothing-
I am so so ashamed-
Shaky still now while writing this poem.

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Spirit Guides

Thank you 'Spirit Guides'
For clearing my path of unwanted obstacles.
And providing my life,
With the correct insight...
To motivate and inspire dreams,
Desired to fulfill and complete...
My appetite for life.

No longer have I chosen,
To walk on paths unguided alone.
Or to stubbornly resist assistance.
Since my needs for you here,
I now know is plainly shown.

Thank you 'Spirit Guides'
For clearing my path of unwanted obstacles.
And providing my life,
With the correct insight...
To motivate and inspire dreams,
Desired to fulfill and complete...
My appetite for life.

No longer have I chosen,
To walk on paths unguided alone.
Or to stubbornly resist assistance.
Since my needs for you here,
I now know is plainly shown.

And as my daily affirmation,
I acknowledge my destination...
With you near,
Has brighter light.
In my mind your presence has been cleared.
No struggles do I endear,
With you here.
With you near.

Spirit Guides assigned to my life...
My eyesight 'sees',
But does not invite nor is chased by fear.

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With Determination

Decide you are deserving,
To whip some excitement up...
In your life.
Just a notch or two for you will do it.
And with determination,
You may enjoy your 'trip'.
Something don that is unscripted.
And off that beaten path a bit.

Don't sew any crops to leave to dust,
Untouched.
Choose to make a move,
You would not normally do.
Choose to prove you can make that move.
Prove...
To yourself,
Restricted limitations you can break through!

Decide you are deserving,
To whip some excitement up...
In your life.
Just a notch or two for you will do it.
And,
With determination...
You may enjoy your 'trip'.

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Lord, Let Me Be There

I will be there

a statement of determination
a journey of purpose
a message of assistance
a promise of support
a blessing of friendship

I will be there


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Department Of Re-Creation

We have heard your side of the story.
And fiction based with a wholesome taste,
Is what has been discovered...
Has made it that way.

And although your story lacks,
Both truth and any basis of uncovered facts...
It has been decided to hire you to head,
The Department Of Re-Creation.
With a keeping intact what is needed most,
To inspire and motivate all of our actions.

We take this opportunity to congratulate you,
In maintaining your determination...
To suspend from the usage of any reality produced.
Our future in your hands,
Has been sealed indefinitely!
We can all now sigh a most needed relief.

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Just As Delicious Tomorrow

This is going to be just as delicious tomorrow,
As it is right now,
Today.

Taste buds remain favored to basic flavors.
Like a kiss from a good kisser is always missed.
It can be substituted in a solution that delutes.
But the real thing is reminisced.

This is going to be just as delicious tomorrow,
As it is right now,
Today.
When I whip up something to treat,
Your satisfaction I wish to guarantee.
And if it does not deliver what I expect you should accept...
I am the one who weeps the tears.

That's how much I want you,
To enjoy what I do!

This is going to be just as delicious tomorrow,
As it is right now,
Today.
That's how much I want you,
To enjoy what I do!
Now.

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Monkey Blood

I cut myself to share my monkey blood.
To show you what we're all made of.
I'm no different than you.
I'm no better than you.
Then you, then you..,

Still everyday you question it.
A gift god has given.
Someday hopefully I'm forgiven.
A blessing totally taken for granted.
But at the time I had no idea how special I really was.

I cut myself to share my monkey blood.
To show you what we're all made of.
I'm no different than you.
I'm no better than you.
Then you, then you.., I

Love is all the same.
No matter the face or name.
Their is no better claim.
In this life not everything is a game.
Still sometimes we lose, even when everything is done right.
Wishing for a little more guidance with a little better insight.

I cut myself to share my monkey blood.
To show you what we're all made of.
I'm no different than you.
I'm no better than you.
Then you, then you.., I

A shadow appears where I once stood.
It grows as the sun rises.
It moves as I move.
It is their till I walk inside.
It is a mirror image of all that is true in this world.
It hides when you hide.
It is brave when you brave.
Standing strong, even when I'm so weak all emotion nearly gone.

I cut myself to share my monkey blood.
To show you what we're all made of.
I'm no different than you.
I'm no better than you.
Then you, then you.., I

I cut myself to share my monkey blood.
To show you what we're all made of.
I'm no different than you.
I'm no better than you.
Then you, then you.., I

We're not so different after all.
Beauty in the eyes of the beholder.
A shallow hal syndrome.
A sickness I will not condone.
Equals in everything good and great.
They are always more then enough reasons to celebrate.
For in this life their is still plenty of breaths to take.
And in this life their are still plenty of mornings to wake..
And in this life ohhh ohhh,
And in this life ohhh ohhh you still have a smile even if it is only sometimes.
Trust me when I say every thing will be just fine.
Even when its not.
An uplifting of ones spirit.
I give you strength.
I give you courage.
I give you everything I have without a single regret.
Even upon the abuse of it I'll still never regret it, no never.

I cut myself to share my monkey blood.
To show you what we're all made of.
I'm no different than you.
I'm no better than you.
Then you, then you.., I

I cut myself to share my monkey blood.
To show you what we're all made of.
I'm no different than you.
I'm no better than you.
Then you, then you.., I

We're no so different after all.
Beauty in the eyes of the beholder.
A shallow hal syndrome.
A sickness I will not condone.
Equals in everything good and great.
They are always more then enough reasons to celebrate.
For in this life their is still plenty of breaths to take.
And in this life their are still plenty of mornings to wake..
And in this life ohhh ohhh,
And in this life ohhh ohhh you still have a smile even if it is only sometimes.
Trust me when I say every thing will be just fine.
Even when its not.
An uplifting of ones spirit.
I give you strength.
I give you courage.
I give you everything I have with I single regret.
Even upon the abuse of it I'll still never regret it, no never.

I cut myself to share my monkey blood.
To show you what we're all made of.
I'm no different than you.
I'm no better than you.
Then you, then you.., I

I cut myself to share my monkey blood.
To show you what we're all made of.
I'm no different than you.
I'm no better than you.
Then you, then you.., I

Finally the last cut has been made.
Their nothing left to show.
And now I must go.
Oh please don't easyly forget what I told you.

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Needless Debris

There is no need to make apparent,
An avoidance of me.
All that is done is an asistance,
To remove needless debris
Off a path I have cleared,
Of weeds and other obstacles
I have sought to clear before your appearance.
It is you that do me the favor.
And there is no need to make it apparent,
I've noticed!
And
I will to you be thankful for that deed,
That has saved me the energy of wasting time.

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Help Us Continue Our Legacy

As I ripe I get dropped
From the tall tree
That was supporting me all through
I was a flower
Later blossomed
Got fertilized
Turned a unripe fruit
Kept hanging till the time I became a fruit
My thin skin becoming dark blue
My flesh over my big seed turning violet
I did not what happened to my mother tree
Unkind she proved as
She allowed me to fall her height
I suffered as my skin got ruptured
Exposing my violet inside
Staining the ground where I reached
As I looked around
I realized that I am not alone
As many of my brothers or sisters
Were also seen on the ground
After the fall I could not move
As the ousted flesh of mine
Made me stuck to the spot of my fall
My mother was just looking at me
With no attempt seen from her
To comfort me or to attend my wound
As our mother was a road side tree
We, fruits, were lying immobile on the road
Pedestrians, cyclists, two wheelers and cars
Ran over many of us
Coloring the path way violet
And also crushing our soft seed beyond recognition
I wonder whether we are born just to be
Smashed like that or we are born
To be consumed by others
For the purposes of propagation of our order
I have a request to people who walk over us
Kindly bend down pick us up
Blow air over the exposed flesh to remove adhered dust or sand
Put into your mouth
Enjoy the taste of a wonderful fruit
After ensuring you have eaten the entire flesh over the seed
Spit the same on soil
Where it will sprout and become a tree
Thus helping us continue our legacy

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