Flaws Faced
Traumatic its revelation.
Self evaluation.
There and undenied...
Are flaws faced,
Blemishes accepted...
No longer can I hide,
With a wish to replace.
And from out of darkness,
Is my existence...
Lifted from conflict.
And instead of running away from criticisms...
There is a welcoming that assists,
To further as I correct...
A more defining happiness!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Discovery Of The Self
Discovery of the self,
I've made.
A probing with a complete evaluation.
Blemishes and flaws,
Once wished would go away!
Now are displayed.
With a discovery of the self,
I've made.
Only to correct and refine,
The presentation in my mind!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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That Which I Do Not Know
How do I know what I know?
I've accepted faith as my reward,
For understanding.
I've accepted the experience of stumbling...
And not allow defeat,
To stop an ability I have to get back on my feet!
I've accepted humiliation to assist in my self evaluation.
I've accepted criticsms of all kinds.
I've accepted heartbreak to mend any bitterness.
With a forgiveness that God will defend...
And correct misdeeds done!
How do I know what I know?
I know I did not bleed without pain!
I know I did not recover from wounds alone.
I know I don't have all the answers!
And that was the beginning...
Of knowing something I could not debate.
It is what it is.
And could not be what it is not!
How do I know what I know?
That which I do not know...
I do not!
And I will admit,
I am prepared to learn.
'That' I choose not to stop!
I am not living my life to hide from it!
Or deny what it has to offer.
I do observe some fantasizing pain.
I am not that advanced!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Flaws
Blemishes are like opinions given.
They are exposed for what they are.
To either accept or reject them.
Something eventually is corrected.
Someone with flaws has to be convinced.
Some flaw bearers are nauseating...
And sometimes over compensate what is done,
For approval sake that comes close to being disgusting
However...
Few with blemishes AND flaws,
Have the ability to capture the imagination of anyone.
Unless they are comedians laughing sadly at themselves.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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What For Them Will Be Their Just Reward
Beginning to grieve their own imperfections,
They seek 'immediate' relief...
From the sight of their flaws and blemishes,
They have begun to witness.
Yet for years by others seen,
Even though those same 'flaws' and 'blemishes',
Now declared too painful...
Have agonized others who have suffered...
With a tolerance,
Of sacrificing all of their lifes...
Enduring being afflicted by them.
With no one attempting to heal or mend,
The scars they have had to pretend were not felt.
Or for 'them' and those before them,
Carried.
But did dare not to say,
Existed!
What for them and those before them,
Will be their just reward?
Apologies?
Ointments?
Bandages to mask their wounds?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Can Not Teach You How To Get It
Yes, I have my issues.
With each I have admitted.
There are struggles I've been through.
And some I still have that I deal with.
I have my days when my flaws loudly speak.
With blemishes I wear and carry,
Exposed publicly.
And accepting 'me' as I've done.
I know I feel a freedom.
That seems to conflict with no one...
But you!
And I can not teach you how to get it.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Reflected Perception of Satisfactions
Life is much more,
Than the limitations given.
And those who chose not to see life that way?
It is okay to leave them convinced...
They are a reflected perception of satisfactions,
Sometimes there to please.
And most times delivering to them blemishes,
Found to compare an awareness of flaws!
They wish to correct...
With further imperfections!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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From A Faked Surface
My love is complete!
I do not offer pieces of it to please.
What is felt is spoken.
And the affect of it given,
Is not my purpose or intent...
To disrespect or offend.
And...
If my love is received that way,
What I am given in return...
Has to be crumbs conveniently scraped,
From a faked surface.
To be eventually dismissed.
My love is complete!
I do not offer pieces of it to please.
If that is what you are accustomed to doing...
You will not know true love with me.
When I give it,
It is with all that I have...
Blemishes, flaws and regrettable moods.
To correct...
But never to hide.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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As a Dove I Flew
As a Dove I flew,
Without concern...
That my wings someone had clipped!
It was brought to my attention,
When at rest...
Around others,
Where I would sit to listen.
And with them reminisce.
Someone noticed my flaws.
And I began to forget...
My mission was to love.
And to spread happiness with it!
But I let this blemish,
Take hold and I could not resist.
The fact that I was a 'Dove' first...
With or without wings clipped!
And I sat looking at my flaws and blemishes...
That kept me stifled without movement.
And a burden I placed upon my wings...
I found too heavy!
They felt encased in cement.
And my mind stayed fixed on my appearance,
Ever since.
And my wings I could no longer lift!
'Who are you trying to fool?
Us?
Just because we are pigeons...
Your task is not to try to fit in!
Be a Dove.
Be who you are.
Continue your journey,
And stop telling those stories.
We've heard them before...
When you came to deliver,
That self defeating message...
At our separate doors.
We got it!
That's why we are here all together!
Remember us? '
Well...
Why didn't you say something.
I would not have wasted your time.
I thought you all were struggling in conflict?
My 'bad'!
I'm still eliminating some of that 'processing'.
You know what a bunch of ya'll together implies!
'It's not a waste to us at all.
Every time we hear it,
We share it with those who haven't!
It's motivating.
And extremely convincing.
It's hilarious the second time around.
You should see yourself! '
I suppose you are right!
Afterall,
I am assigned to do Dove 'stuff'.
Trying to do it the best I can!
'If you happen to forget,
And you see us again!
Try to avoid using the 'clipped wing' thing.
It's overboard and too dramatic.
It's funny.
But I think you should want to be taken seriously! '
I do!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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ALL IN HEAVEN...by talile ali
V1
SOME SAY THIS IS HELL
SOME SAY THAT IT'S HEAVEN
CHALLENGES EVERY DAY
SUCCESS IF YOU HAVE VISION
YOU MAY THINK THAT IT'S WRONG
JUST SOMETHING UNFORGIVEN
IT IS WHAT WE ALL ARE
WE ARE JUST IN HEAVEN
CHORUS
WE'RE ALL IN HEAVEN
WE'RE ALL IN HEAVEN
BEING AS WE ARE
WE'RE ALL IN HEAVEN
V2
TEMPTATION EVERYWHERE
CHALLENGING OUR BELIEFS
FINDING ALL THE FLAWS
GRANTING US FALSE RELEASE
SOLUTIONS ALL ARE NEW
DEVELOPED IN THE SEASON
DEFINING WHO WE ARE
EVOLVED IN ALL OUR REASON
JAM
CHORUS
WE'RE ALL IN HEAVEN
WE'RE ALL IN HEAVEN
BEING AS WE ARE
WE'RE ALL IN HEAVEN
V3
WE ACCEPTED THIS
WE ACCEPTED THAT
WE SEEM TO EXIST
BEING SO EXACT
CHORUS
WE'RE ALL IN HEAVEN
WE'RE ALL IN HEAVEN
BEING AS WE ARE
WE'RE ALL IN HEAVEN
FADE OUT
poem by Talile Ali
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Considered The Joke Too!
I'd just want to say...
Your spelling of 'considered',
Had been done in an incorrect way.
And...
I wish to point that out,
To bring it to your attention...
You have nothing to really,
Laugh that loud about.
'You can not be serious? '
I am.
I've been assigned to correct your flaws.
And your unconscious blemishes.
'Had you thought you were being used.
And considered the joke too? '
Not really.
I am known to be the master of correctness.
'You must be 'half-way' out of the house? '
Why do you point to your head?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Created To Be Implemented
Inconsistencies,
And those 'fronting'...
With a smothering up,
Of their hypocrisies...
Are all over the place!
Try avoiding them without being affected.
And the ones self righteous,
Declaring themselves 'normal'?
The 'standard' bearers?
Need not go too far from any mirror,
To do an honest self evaluation.
Conflicts, turmoil...
And other problems today that exist?
Have been created to be implemented,
By those refusing...
To zero in on their own flaws and blemishes.
Try avoiding them without being affected.
Or attempt to exit from a baiting into a debate.
To leave unscathed and rated to feel depreciated.
And if one can do this to feel an accomplishment?
A miracle has been witnessed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Facts Have Been Subtracted
Regardless of those statements you've made,
To anyone who has given you time to listen.
I was the one who accepted your blemishes and flaws.
I had been the one,
Giving you time to disrespect mine.
And I was the one...
To turn my back on another one of your excuses.
And I am sure any empathy you have manged to gather,
Facts have been subtracted...
From your version and depiction of truth.
And of this I am certain from witnessing your past.
Since your routine suffers from a much needed update.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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So Basic Am I
So basic am I,
My blemishes and flaws...
Have a personality of their own.
They have no fear to appear publicly.
In fact...
When I had made attempts to hide them,
I began to hear rumors...
I was trying to find a reason,
To escape from my accomplishments...
Only a few had discovered.
And no one 'then' had believed,
I was seriously seeking to achieve anything.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Am That Prize Recovered
In soulful song praises,
To a life that is so loved.
I totally submit committed.
And admitting it...
At this hour of my awakenedness.
Transparent are my flaws.
And all of my blemishes.
No masquerading is involved.
Although words I choose...
Are selectively picked.
As I tremble less from nervousness.
Refusing I do,
To mask true feelings...
Behind bitten and licked, chapped cracked lips.
I am that prize recovered and awarded to me.
After many years of confusion and personal conflict.
I am that prize recovered!
And this motivates.
And keeps me lifted!
'Would you like to ride,
In my beautiful balloon?
High up in the sky,
In my beautiful balloon.
We can float among the stars together,
You and I.
And we can fly.
Up, up and away...'
Note:
My thanks to composer Jimmy Webb,
for such an inspiring song.
Introduced and sung by The 5th Dimension.
'Thank you, Jimmy.'
~LSP~
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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To Submerge Within Completed Bliss (Part VI)
To submerge Within completed bliss,
May come in parts...
If one chooses to divide,
In units of six.
But when one is determined,
To rid of something unfit...
A veil from secret darkened habits,
Has to be lifted!
To manifest one's happiness!
And undenied...
A fulfillment comes,
To reside inside!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Traumatic Has to Be the Reality Faced
Traumatic for many,
These days lived...
Has to be.
Especially for the ones who identified,
Their lives and self worth...
With the ability to purchase 'bling',
And other materialistic things.
With money that from them is dwindling.
Traumatic has to be the reality faced,
There is no substitute for truth that can be replaced.
Nor are there those empathetic,
Who have grown accustomed...
To finding their way on the streets to eat and sleep.
And yet those with beliefs they are above all of this,
Find themselves indebted to their beliefs...
They wish to keep.
And...
Traumatic for many,
These days lived...
Has to be.
For those who make demands as if...
Their lifestyles can be sustained,
By squeezing them...
From an economy based on credit.
That has exhausted all fantasies,
Once supporting a delusion...
There was no ending that came to a feeding of a feast.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Exceptions
Exceptions...
Are dispensed all the time.
By those in positions,
Given authority to be selective...
To change what has already been defined.
Exceptions are granted...
Depending on the excuses,
Others can find.
And awarded they are,
To those with the same frame of mind.
With a forgiving of whatever it is that is done.
Or whomever has become affected,
By the one who has been accepted...
As an exception to overlook.
To then be regarded as a 'slight' imperfection,
Others with equal flaws and blemishes...
Would have long ago been rejected.
To experience shame and a life lived in regret.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Despite Rolling Eyes
Strong!
Confident.
Self-assured.
Endures setbacks,
With faith and dignity applied.
Relies on God...
To assist the dismissal
Of inner struggles,
Disguised
No one can describe,
From a depth inside.
And not afraid at all...
To admit
Sometimes there are conflicts and flaws!
And yet...
Beset by criticisms one gets.
In silence one accepts this!
Taught that it takes...
Heartaches carried with heartbreaks!
And despite criticisms and rolling eyes...
A success rewarded will materialize.
If one seeks to meet challenges,
Without the shallowness of whines and cries!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Never Happy To Be Themselves
Many have chosen to acknowledge,
Their blemishes and flaws.
With an exposure,
That does not camouflage...
In broad daylight.
They are happy to be themselves.
Others uptight about appearances made,
Without showing themselves in full masquerade...
Even try to call themselves a performance of art.
Alone as they parade in shades of darkness,
In costume selected for tomorrow's charade.
Never happy to be themselves.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Entwined In Concepts
Both of their minds were entwined in concepts of relationships.
Wanting their own to be one that was perfect.
And defining that with having good credit.
With things believed that would keep them in bliss.
And when these 'things' began to lose their sheen...
Less interest in themselves slowly could be seen.
The need to constantly be together became a non-necessity.
With a wish to be alone in one's own space.
In a place the other was either invited...
Or not invited to be.
And a love between them,
Although expressed...
Was missed.
Leaving dreams and desires,
To be held and kissed...
Becoming less obsessive.
And often dismissed.
As those things cherished gathered dust with time.
There was an emptiness felt!
And invited.
Under one roof where no happiness once there,
For them.
No longer, for them, they could find!
Yet and regretfully...
Both of their minds were entwined in concepts of relationships.
Wanting their own, they did, to be one that was perfect.
And defining that with having good credit.
Loans and debts could not keep this correct.
With things believed that would keep them in bliss.
Gone was 'that' and any remnants of happiness.
And when their credit became less than good.
They found themselves in arguments...
Blaming the other for a wasted life spent.
And agreeing to split is what they should do,
To prove this less the expensive.
With a being together for them now making less sense.
As they express to others,
They've done the best they could.
But a love to make better wasn't theirs to save.
Nor was it there from the beginning!
And this had been the costly mistake they made!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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