Fearing The Honesty
Endorsing the enforcement of safe stereotypes,
On the minds of those between identities...
Often appeases the ones,
Seeking acceptance and approval.
And others who are comfortable,
Being stuck as if glued to their given places.
To prove themselves worthy of the labels given.
And preferring to stay oppressed.
Fearing the honesty to be who they are.
With a wish of this to remain quietly unaddressed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Premeditative Thoughts Conditioned
Endorsing one's entrapment.
That I can not give.
Premeditative thoughts conditioned,
Is not a life to live.
To exist to be pigeonholed,
Are afflictions I do not embrace.
To stay fixed and unadventurous,
Has never been my place.
To explain what to do to another to get done,
For them may have purpose.
For me there is none.
Difficulties to overcome,
Are decisions alone one must make.
Some have never done this without an approval.
And seeking acceptance results in one's heartbreak.
Life is lived to experience it.
And many would rather not!
Since their fears they can not shake.
And how can that be explained to anyone?
When it is known by those who have done it...
That is what it takes!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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To What Degree Will A Rating Achieve?
I've read your 'work'.
And I think you are great.
But there is a dilemma.
You wish from me,
To select a rate.
And I ask myself,
'Is it easier for me,
Than it is to rate?
And on what scale of approval,
Do I show I appreciate?
Do I give what I've read...
A 5?
Or 10?
Or...
Perhaps an 8?
And...
If I don't rate at all,
Will this choice irritate?
I've read your 'work'.
And I think you are great.
But there is a dilemma.
You wish from me,
To select a rate.
Is saying you are 'great' not enough,
From me.
And to what degree,
Will a rating achieve?
Will you still produce your greatness?
Or...
Will you leave this activity.
To find one that appeases your ego to please?
Or...
Do you seek an approval and acceptance,
To express from YOUR heart...
I neither feel or see.
Or can say I have experienced from your point of view.
What will a rating from me,
Prove and do for you?
A success you wish to be,
Outwardly and not internally from yourself expressed?
Perhaps I am getting too 'old' to Get It!
I once believed what one loved was self motivating.
But today...
Many are blinded by stars in their eyes.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The Right Address
I know it's not all about me!
But that part of me that is affected by 'it'
Is going to get my many visits.
And seeking acceptance or approval
For my concern...
Is something that I've earned.
It wasn't given for me to be driven,
Into insanity
Because someone has not granted me approval...
To be me!
'God,
I don't see where they believe You are with me,
At all!
Are You sure You gave me the right address? '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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In It And Not Of It
Being in it and not of it,
Can still nibble away at one's gut.
Being distant and cut off from it,
May prevent one's suffering.
But...
Those memories have a way to linger.
And emotions felt deep,
Are never too far away.
One can choose to refuse to acknowledge them.
But how far away should one stay,
Without being followed...
By what has been experienced.
Or the degrading taking place,
Of that which has been observed.
And accepted by those,
Who have chosen to dance...
Effectively around its existence.
As if to glorify the remnants,
Of its staying power to remain unchanged...
To improve upon appearances,
With an approval that appeases.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Labels
i seem to hate labels,
that defind who i am,
you can't hide from them,
they only seem to defind you,
most of my life,
labels became a pain in the butt,
being different,
from the time i was little,
can you understand?
what it is like to be a kid,
who is different?
other kids don't understand,
why you are the way you are,
it's hard to explain,
most of the time you feel alone,
nobody want to have an open mind,
it like i'm not from here,
people seem to like you,
for all of the wrong reasons,
hard to tell who your true friends are,
because nobody want to be an out cast,
we so stuck on labels that defind who we are,
but, ever though that not all we are,
we feed it power to take over our minds,
it hard to change,
what you believe is true,
yeah the world uses labels,
why else do we feel over powered?
but, what else can we do?
besides change the way we think,
easier said than done,
when ever since you were little,
labels just became who you are,
how do you break a habit,
you want nothing to do with?
because every single day,
there seem to be a new label,
that defind who i am.
poem by Mona Martinez
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Expect Your Value To Become Diminished
Would you like to discover your value quickly?
Here is a simple thing to do to test it...
With identity and dignity you pride inside,
Speak directly with honesty and truth...
In places not accustomed to it.
Begin with those who are family.
Then approach those you call friends.
I've seen this attempted by others.
Character assassinations began.
And you know there will be labelling done!
Well...
Some do not know this.
And are ready to seek approval and acceptance.
Expect your value to become diminished,
If you buy any of that, 'You are not like us' nonsense.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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In Spaces Limited
So many are stuck in times,
Within locked minds fearing change.
Or the process that takes them...
Away to new places.
And experiences unexplained.
In spaces limited a rotation continues.
A rotation accepted with the sameness of it!
Like a rusting with dust given permission to oxidize...
Bright eyes dull,
Minimizing active lives.
Although a freedom is there to breathe and do it deeply...
Many prefer their familiar ruts.
With others who have given up.
To share and say what they would do...
If God would bless them with a stroke of good luck.
In spaces limited a rotation continues.
A rotation accepted with the sameness of it!
So many are stuck in times,
Within locked minds fearing change.
Or the process that takes them...
Away to new places.
And experiences unexplained.
Like a rusting with dust given permission to oxidize...
Bright eyes dull,
Minimizing active lives.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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No Matter What You Think Of Me
No matter what you think of me,
Will not change the course of my destiny.
Nor will the anguish of accomplishing my tasks...
On this path.
Where obstacles remain.
Where they for me,
Seem to last.
To sustain each day I grasp and pass.
Perhaps if I sought your approval,
I could gain some rest from that rejection.
Your lack of acceptance,
Would enhance my own dejection.
But no matter what you think of me,
Will not change my destiny.
I've toiled on this journey too long.
And what you perceive for me to be wrong...
Will not affect my insight.
I have struggled to maintain it.
With a faith that has kept me strong!
Days long and sleepless nights.
And no matter what you think of me...
There have been others who have thought far worse.
God had placed them on my path,
First!
To rehearse any emotions felt.
To conquer and to rid.
Knowing too well how now they must be dealt!
Alone...
Within me.
And without the thought of seeking outside approval.
From either open or closed eyelids.
Mine, yours or others.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Life Lived Moves On
People can choose to stay stuck in them,
If they want to.
But life lived moves on!
For those who prove they can,
And do!
Move.
On!
People can choose to stay stuck in them,
If they want to.
But life lived moves on!
For those who prove they can,
And do!
Move.
On!
People can choose to stay stuck in them,
If they want to.
But life lived moves on!
For those who prove they can,
And do!
Move.
On!
Bouldering that overflowing dike of tears,
They may cry.
Heal.
And let those emotions subside!
But do not collect over the years,
As souvenirs awarded for their sorrows.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Of Acceptance and Compliancy
Acceptance is not the same as compliancy.
Although both definitions suggest flexibility.
Acceptance is done after comprehension comes.
And one compliant seems to be more submissive,
Technically.
With actions that are specific,
To what is defined and made understood.
And one who accepts definitions,
May argue with an understanding...
That attention and answers are expected to be given,
When asked!
With someone 'qualified' to deliver what appeases.
Or no one sleeps!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The Distance
Under the same roof they live.
Yet they remain unheard to each other.
One is stuck with Facebook,
Glued onto her mobile is another.
The world is shrinking, it is true.
What about the distance between the two?
poem by Kingshuk Chakraborty
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Mad Man's song
Like a lost letter she stood for a while
to go the other side of the road..
near me who was lying in a corner of this side….
For moments, it seemed she was the same soul in whose palms seeking fulfillment I search in mine…
Though in her eyes she was carrying a desperation unlike the one I had
to walk into an exile of refuge from reason….
Yet with her hallowed paleness she seemed very close…
And as I came back from my contrasts….
she was no longer there..
she was walking away on the other side,
as she had crossed the road.
She was then just one among many strangers…
Like an unaddressed letter
I sent my words into the air….
O..stranger! ! ! !
A lost letter seeks its home…
An unaddressed one remains lost, , ,
That day when you came with your child and asked me
if I would let him sit beside the window, where I was,
so that he can see the passage of sights…
Believe me, I would not have..
had I not known the joy of fulfilling the dreams of another's eye..
the wishes of another heart…
But once I had bought a bouquet of flowers for my mother
to give it to her God…
though I was an atheist then, , ,
But since then I am not…
You also came seeking your God…
so, I let your child and quietly wondered in the worship that your eyes offered to his...
as the sights passed by………….
You believed, I betrayed
Seeking faith in thy believe..
and the strength of its strings…
you believed yet…
So I returned….
finding the emptiness of betrayal, the meaning of its nothingness…
and the search of your belief.
When I returned,
you were like the joy of a sinking ship finding a sea within the sea…
and you beheld in me a lost soldier…
though I was within me but an unending war
Of belief and betrayal….
(with heartfelt courtesy to Shahzia Naqvi)
In My Sincerity Land
Calm waves rising in the sea
With currents of peace only for me
I wish can be seen in my sincerity land
Which is built with only honesty band
Where no one shows what he is not
And kindness ray always stay hot
Where I won't feel any down or gray
Or feel bad when someone will say
That these people are not what they show
They are actually your enemies and foe
Who don't know the meanings of a friend
And only learnt the art to pretend
So to stay away from hearing all this
I'll prefer even though I know I'll miss
To stay quietly in my sincerity land
Which is built with only honesty band.
poem by Seema Chowdhury
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Unaddressed
To be who it is someone claims to be,
Takes courage.
Little of what one says they are,
Is nourished to be encouraged.
People fear rejection.
Or a close inspection that upsets.
Instead of being happy with self confidence...
Some choose to seek approval,
With an acceptance of their footsteps.
Could this be connected,
To the mess that is today reflected?
With so much nonsense gone unaddressed...
And groups collecting to blame others,
For the lack of shown respect.
And satisfied to express in silence...
Their disappointing druthers to confess.
While a condoning of this continues to expose,
People who wish a quality of life to exist...
But caring less they produce an atmosphere of misfits.
And down the gutters their standards 'high browed'
Are watched like bystanders as this is slowly being disposed!
Allowed!
However...
Heard in heated discussions is the significance of this!
Everyone wants to project they are equipped with intelligence.
With resumés to prove they have the schooling and experience.
But for what?
To observe from glass towers eating hors d'oeuvres?
While below their own butts are being guttered?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Self and Identity
It is never too late,
For one to discover self and identity.
However,
I do not believe they should expect,
Fanfare.
Especially from those,
Who have chosen this route to take...
Most of their lives without fearing to be themselves.
And many of them without the benefit of respect given,
From those still in masquerade.
And seeking approval...
For the worn out sterotypical images,
They find easy to address and adorn.
No matter how outdated the disgracing beratements.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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If There Is Division
If there is division...
It has been envisioned,
By those who call for unity!
A unity of what?
Collective respect?
A diversity realized...
Should have that in perspective.
A unity of color?
To accomplish what with each other?
To make the same claims...
That no one lives up,
To a common name?
Or those with divergent purposes,
Should come together
And be entertained?
Or remain as crabs in a barrel?
So everyone will see to it...
No one makes any gains?
If there is division...
It has been envisioned,
By those who call for unity!
Those who have insecurities.
And believe they should be shared by all.
To continue to stall a growth process...
Those professing unity,
Can further dissect...
To feel this done as an acceptance.
And to keep those with identities,
Fearing to accomplish...
Individual opportunities.
That a collectiveness would not embrace.
Because a familiarized ignorance,
Has been replaced!
If there is division...
It has been envisioned,
By those who call for unity!
Those who seek support...
For purposes to abort any gain!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Grateful To Them For This
I've earned the right to make my own decisions.
And to decide what I like and dislike.
I 'try' not to give unsolicited opinions.
And the passing of judgement,
I rarely do.
What does my critique expressed,
Satisfy or improve?
For many years,
I've known what had created my past headaches.
And when I recognize them coming,
I head the other way.
To save them a sniff or a lifting of their nose.
Where I come from...
There are many in number of those with upturned noses.
It took me a long time to understand,
Not to waste my time seeking acceptance.
Because people who perceive someone seeks,
Their acceptance...
It gives them validation to believe themselves,
Better than anyone else.
And 'if' they have created ways to isolate themselves...
To others they have given to them a gift!
And I am grateful to them for this.
'I like very much,
That effort you made.
Now...
Can you prove you can stay out of my way?
And leave,
Not take...
Those resources that are mine.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Kept Boys
Kept boys,
Refusing to step...
Even for a few seconds away,
From playgrounds and corners...
Where they would mingle to stay.
On an everyday basis for years...
As time from them passed,
To leave their minds uncleared.
Kept boys,
Never growing to become men...
To begin that journey.
But instead taught to dropp their seed,
To impregnate from a selection of silly girls...
To pick and choose from whom they please.
Believing themselves then accepted...
And seen as men and women.
But men and women they will never be.
Kept boys,
Prison inmates and leeches...
Many down low and weak.
And impressed to follow images,
Gives them bragging rights to keep.
These kept boys are on a mission,
To remain in stuck manifested positions...
Cemented in stereotypes.
And validated by an environment,
That makes this decay alright to condone...
Mindless appetites in and outside broken homes.
Kept boys,
Refusing to step...
Even for a few seconds away,
From playgrounds and corners...
Where they would mingle to stay.
On an everyday basis for years...
As time from them passed,
To leave their minds uncleared.
And...
Reflects a tragicness permitted to exist.
With hopes if kept illuminated in deceptions cheered,
This will eventually portray generations of strength.
Representing a heritage of fools used,
To exist only to play upon themselves games and pranks.
As kept boys!
Never to be ranked with strength as men.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Keep Moving Forward
Returning attention given to those seeking it,
By telling you what you are not...
And what you could do to improve your status,
For their approval and acceptance...
Should give you a clue as to what it is they do.
And have done with the time to them given.
However...
IF you return back to them nothing to work with,
By giving them closed lips and forward movement...
Something done in the doing of that,
Will be more than enough than they have done...
Most of their lives they themselves have validated.
You need not to say or do a thing to bring yourself,
Down to a level to appease people like this.
Since it should be obvious to you as this is viewed,
They have yet to find themselves...
To stop a wasting of their time to find others,
Willing to waste their minds and time collectively.
With no improvement or a wish to seek progress.
The only thing done one can do for people like this,
Is to keep moving forward.
With a leaving behind with them a hint as to your abilities.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Only Love Counts
Only love counts
Honesty may prove valuable
Build trust
Make me believe all you say
But honesty like faith
Cannot charm me
Truth is not always logical
I believe when I choose
Doubt comes when it will
Stays long enough
And goes of its own accord
Only love counts
Honesty may prove expedient
Confirm hope
But will not bond me to you
poem by Samuel Nze
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