Earned From Lessons Learned
I was not born to be dependent.
And used because of it.
I spent most of my life,
Being of assistance.
Since waiting for an exchange to be done...
Others resisted.
Or so it seemed.
I've laid on my back,
With several illnesses to recover.
And I can not recall,
Being pampered with love.
Or smothered by another.
So if it seems I am more direct than most.
It is not that I am unconcerned.
I've learned from my own experiences...
That my happiness depends on me.
And any success achieved by my efforts...
I know every bit of it has been deserved.
Every aspect has been blessed.
And all of it has been earned from lessons learned.
If there is any arrogance you may now detect...
You had not witnessed those obstacles I removed.
Nor those I regard now as fools.
As they chose to sling mud on my footsteps.
Am I still embittered by this?
Of course.
I am not that self involved to realize challenges remain.
And continue to exist.
Each one I meet and struggle to defeat...
Leaves me more humbled to reveal,
That side of me that can be tender and sweet.
After I've removed the sweat,
Underneath the armor!
That has protected me in battle.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Lessons Taught and Learned
I was raise to believe,
To be of service to others first...
Was what God intended,
For me to be!
And this I should not curse.
Or be hurt by misunderstandings,
Some may see to disagree.
And as I've grown older,
I'm glad those lessons taught and learned...
Has helped me come to realize,
To sacrifice my life in the giving...
A receiving of a happiness,
Will come to me deserved as earned...
With a peace of mind I'll find that's free.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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How We Learned Our Lessons
Through the living of their lives...
That's how we learned our lessons.
Through the observation of their sacrifices...
That's how we learned our lessons.
And we understood each one of them.
With our minds, eyes and ears opened.
Through the living of their lives...
That's how we learned our lessons.
Through the acceptance and loving ourselves.
That's how we learned our lessons.
Through the giving of respect,
We ourselves sometimes did not get!
That's how we learned our lessons.
And even though our steps made forward...
Were made to believe by others as limited.
And sometimes we wept and knew this was negative.
It was through the acceptance of who we were,
And loving ourselves.
That's how we learned our lessons.
And the parents we loved and had,
Did not brag about their college degrees!
Or 'things' with them we could buy to achieve...
To succeed in the repossessing of our minds,
Some permit an entry for this to be done!
They were with us all the time,
Telling us we could accomplish anything!
And could prove that too to ourselves and anyone.
'Whatever' it was we chose in our lives to do.
And working hard we did...
To pursue.
Through the living of their lives...
That's how we learned our lessons.
Through the observation of their sacrifices...
That's how we learned our lessons.
Dedicated to:
Andrea ('Mimmie') , Tammy and Lisa
My sisters.
'Love you for your 'gifts' given...
Edna Pearl Roberts Prudhomme Pertillar
And Lawrence Pertillar, Sr.'
Our Parents.
~lsp~
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Grateful I Am I Can Radiate My Appreciation
How do I feel about getting older?
Great!
And the older I get,
It becomes obvious I have learned 'something'.
That's just one of many gifts.
And with the blessings God has bestowed upon me...
I am happy fewer of these questions I have to answer.
No longer am I a bud impatiently waiting to bloom.
That blooming,
For those who choose to see it...
Can be observed without detailed explanation.
Grateful I am I can radiate my appreciation.
Consuming life enjoyed and knowing I'm connected.
And I'll be glad to show you my knees,
Discolored from many hours spent in prayer.
That's how I got from where I was to where I am,
Now.
And wishing to be tomorrow.
With a lesson taught obtained from everyone...
And everywhere!
Until my 'light' no longer reflects.
At one time I thought I had to snap my fingers,
To get what I wanted.
Demanding,
As if I was the only tree in the forest.
With branches that grew,
And leaves needing immediate attention.
Like the new comers do!
I don't have to do that now!
I just ask.
And my desires are delivered.
Asking me if I am spoiled...
Would have been a better question!
But then again,
You would not know that.
You were not near to witness,
How I removed obstacles on my path!
Or myself from shallow whinings!
Dedicated:
To those who have discovered the aging process,
As a blessing possessed with a greater observation.
That reflects upon a journey,
One realizes has been achieved...
By acquiring 'some' success they can personally share,
With belief.
And this needs very little documentation,
As it is lived and not dictated to those left in curiosity!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Thankful
You know my soul
You know everything about me theres to know
You know my heart
How to make me stop & how to make me go
You should know I love everything
About you dont you know
That Im thankful
For the blessing
And the lessons that Ive learned w/you
By my side
That Im thankful so thankful for the love
That you keep bringing in my life
In my life
Thankful so thankful
You know my thoughts
Before I open up my mouth & try to speak
You know my dreams
Must be listening when Im talking in my sleep
I hope you know
I love having you around me dont you know
That Im thankful for the blessing
And the lessons that Ive learned w/you
By my side
That Im thankful so thankful for the love
That you keep bringing in my life in my life
Dont you know that Im thankful for the moment
When Im down you always know how to make me smile
Thankful for the moments & the joy that your bringing to my life
For the lessons that Ive learned
For the trouble Ive known
For the heartache & pain
That youve thrown my way
When I didnt think I could go on
But you made me feel strong
With you I am never alone
Thankful so thankful
Thankful for the blessing
And the lessons that Ive learned w/you
By my side
That Im thankful so thankful for the love
That you keep bringing in my life in my life
Thankful so thankful
When Im down you always know how to make me smile
Thankful for the joys that your bringing to my life
Thankful so thankful
song performed by by Kelly Clarkson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Found A Way To Stay Protected
I've learned to strip away nonsense,
To get to the core of where my happiness...
Wanted to surface to breathe,
With a breath to freely exist.
And telling it like it is,
I discovered eliminated conflict...
To keep inside to confuse ideals.
And those lessons learned taught to me,
Were real and created my appetite...
To crave the need to keep my peace of mind,
Kept delicious.
And it is.
I've learned to strip away nonsense,
To get to the core of where my happiness...
Wanted to surface to breathe,
With a breath to freely exist.
And it has found a way to stay protected,
From close inspections wishing to monitor...
On a daily basis.
Let me share something with you.
And I am going to keep it basic and quite simple.
I could care less what you think.
Or how you arrived to express an opinion about me,
My activities or the size shoe I wear.
I have not crawled on my knees to appease your assessments.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Casting One's Own Shadow
Call your trip whatever you wish.
I've learned not to debate, argue...
Or 'franchise' anyone's opinion,
As if to make mine!
Nor do I agree to evaluate...
Someone's statement,
Whether a line given to solicit...
An opinion I've given in anything I've written.
I've learned an exchange of experiences,
Is not a possibility.
And I've learned this by listening.
And this many people seldom do.
I've been up and down too many times,
To discover my own comprehension...
About life.
My life and how 'my' life is connected.
When I found criticisms made of me by others...
'Added' to my understanding,
If right, wrong or indifferent when given...
I still had to brush my own teeth.
Walk on my own two feet!
And be accountable for my own actions.
I stopped making excuses,
When they began not to make sense to me.
I spent more time defending myself...
Instead of living my life.
And I began to do that...
When I started to appreciate myself.
And 'if' I was to give my advice to anyone...
AND...
I did say 'if'.
I would say this...
If anyone finds they are seeking acceptance,
On a path they have chosen to take...
It is not a path they have chosen.
How can it be?
How can someone declare something theirs,
When others can do the same thing thing?
If voices can be heard?
Footprints can be seen?
And the path one takes has already been paved?
That is following...
Not casting,
One's own shadow!
I do not wish,
I demand people to get out of my light.
What would be the point,
If I am patiently waiting for someone else to decide...
Whether or not they want to move out of it?
That kind of time I am not giving to anyone!
Period.
I've learned many lessons.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It Can Be Draining
Sometimes it can be draining,
And gets difficult...
To be in the midst,
Of thoughtless people.
Especially those who have aged,
To express less concern.
Or how their whims affect...
The ones who treasure their lessons learned.
At times emotional feelings exposed,
Are received to be ones embittered.
When sharing them amongst those,
Who could care less...
About the depthness of another's experiences.
And how those experiences are addressed,
Each day to expect, accept or reject.
Sometimes it can be draining,
And gets difficult...
To be in the midst,
Of thoughtless people.
Especially those who have aged,
To express less concern.
Or how their whims affect...
The ones who treasure their lessons learned.
It can be draining.
Isolating.
And reflectively disrespecting.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Not Trying To Sell This
I don't feel that offended to defend my point of view.
Why would I feel a need to do it?
I can look back at my footsteps,
And realize I have lived my life with and without critique.
I continue to do the same thing to this day.
Only faith tested has brought me this far and kept me.
That is why I do not seek what your opinion of me is!
Your life as you live it has not been my main focus.
I have been conscious of my own experiences.
And they have kept me too emotionally busy.
Some when they came left me numb and stunned.
I don't feel that offended to defend my point of view.
It has been earned and I like it.
I am not trying to sell this to anyone,
Yet.
And when and 'if' that should happen...
I still wouldn't have any regrets.
Some delays expressed,
Maybe!
I have been fortunately blessed to place my steps,
Where they were urgently needed.
With just a few who knew from where they led!
To where they would come to grips,
With another experience welcomed to visit.
That's how I have come to look at it.
My life is to be lived!
So...
Make any attempt you wish to discredit my efforts!
Guess who would know it and still keep steppin'?
Feeling there is nothing from anyone,
I seeks that needs approval.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Why Empower It With Concern?
When something isn't...
Why empower it with concern?
What lesson is there learned,
By choosing to discuss...
The 'what ifs'.
As if those 'what ifs' breathe and exist!
When something isn't...
Why empower it with concern?
What lesson is there learned,
By choosing to discuss...
The 'what ifs'.
As if those 'what ifs' breathe and exist!
And the next step we need to take...
Is to select someone qualified,
To monitor our decisions and babysit!
And that time spent doing this...
Has been wasted like devalued dollars,
We struggle to find ways to throw away...
Or burn.
With no regard and less concern.
And that is the headache we've lived to earn.
Too many are already confused in creating solutions.
All we need to do,
Is to commit ourselves to have nothing to do with it.
Already you look relieved!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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This Has Been Distorted
Don't 'ask' that your sorrows be removed from you.
Demand that they be removed!
Don't look at your obstacles as if they are impossible.
Remove them from your mind.
Or they will stay.
Believing you want it that way!
If you believe you are here to suffer...
Why complain about it.
As if this was a gift from God.
You 'are' a gift from God!
You are.
You are a part of the Oneness God is!
The Kingdom that is His 'is' yours!
You've been told this.
Don't 'ask' that your sorrows be removed from you.
Demand that they be removed!
Don't look at your obstacles as if they are impossible.
Remove them from your mind.
Or they will stay.
Believing you want it that way!
If you believe you are here to suffer...
Why complain about it.
As if this was a gift from God.
And this is not God's wish!
Somewhere, somehow in your mind...
This has been distorted.
You allowed your faith to be aborted!
The Earth, Moon and Sun...
All belong to the One.
How and 'why' and WHEN...
Did you allow your separateness to begin?
If you believe you are here to suffer...
Why complain about it.
As if this was a gift from God.
What else in your life is faked?
If you say you love God...
Why can't you accept God as your Lover?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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From An Egg One Hatches
From an egg one hatches.
And what appears is born.
Growth is expected.
And life goes on.
Experiences come.
Knowledge is obtained.
A sharing is learned...
With comprehension maintained.
Although...
Some gifted with birth,
Choose a worthlessness to serve.
And they believe what is given,
To them is deserved.
So they wait...
To see what is being delivered on a plate.
And complain if what is presented,
Does not meet 'their' expectations.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Have you learned the lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed passage with you?
quote by Walt Whitman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Finally...thank you
I finally did it,
I gained the courage,
The courage to move on,
Fear is no longer apart of me,
Because,
Life is too short to dwell,
If it’s not about me,
Then I can’t have you in it,
You taught me things,
Showed me right and wrong,
But,
You gave me pain,
I didn’t know what to do,
I thought,
Sometimes I still think,
That having you in my life,
Is what I need,
Only because I loved you,
My life is all I have,
So what will I do,
Continue to be strong,
Be grateful,
For the things I learned,
Forget the pain you gave me,
And not make the same mistakes,
Life is about learning,
Experiences,
Even though this process was painful,
I learned the most beautiful lesson,
To love me,
Before,
Loving another,
As I write,
Tears want to stream down my face,
But they can’t,
Only because these tears aren’t for sadness,
It’s happiness,
Happiness because I grew strong,
Happiness because I moved on,
And I’m doing my dreams,
On my own…
So all I can say is,
Thank you.
poem by Latoya Fleming
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I Have Learned
I had been told 'never' to say never.
And for as long as I lived,
I will learn a 'never' said will return.
And I found that to be true.
I have learned to focus and remain conscious.
Never to keep repeating the same mistakes.
I have learned,
The giving of oneself...
Opens the door to heartache.
I have learned,
Forgiveness for some...
Means a forgetting for them to what they've done.
I have learned,
A revolving door...
Revolves not solve solutions.
I have learned,
A no does not mean yes...
To a depleting of my happiness.
I have learned,
Never to allow my peace of mind...
To be plucked by anyone wishing to get on my nerves.
I have learned,
THAT!
And 'that' aint gon' happen no mo'!
Never.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Not A Photocopy Or A Transparency
I do not need an answered survey,
To review responses...
As if I do not know details or understand,
What my life has been like.
And first hand.
I've known each day,
About those obstacles that have come my way.
And what it is I must do.
And who it is I must fight!
Forget those graphs with statistics crafted.
My eyes have been wide open,
Despite of outsiders...
Giving their opinions to convince others,
Information gathered...
Is a life I've known to live,
Whether wrong or right.
I've lived my life and not in hiding.
Day and night,
And for a number of years.
I am not a photocopy or a transparency.
Every emotion I feel is real,
Here inside of me.
And when I get upset with my feelings hurt...
It is up to me to know,
To what degree I've got to heal.
I do not need an answered survey,
To review responses...
As if I do not know or understand,
What my life has been like.
And first hand.
I've known each day,
About those obstacles that have come my way.
And what it is I must do.
And who it is I must fight!
Everyday since my birth,
Here on Earth...
I've observed and felt and grew.
And all of the experiences I have obtained...
I've learned more than one lesson!
I've learned quite a few.
And with each day I am blessed to live,
God has granted me the wisdom...
To know what it is,
And what it takes...
For me to succeed and complete,
Whatever it is that I must do to feel upbeat.
I am not on the sidelines,
Observing to be entertained.
I am an active participant and involved...
No matter who says what,
Or with unsolicited authority...
May say or claim!
I am 'me'.
Regardless of those labels attached to my name.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Epiphany, Dead Man Walking
i learned to walk again,
the day you drove away
and left me standing in the drive...
i learned to see again,
staring at old photographs
in a book hid away.
i learned to think again,
thinking, and rethinking
every move and every action.
i learned to feel again,
struck dumb with waves of sorrow,
with blood on my lips.
i learned to cry again,
in the dark and sleepless night,
when no one else could see.
i learned to fight again,
pushed back against the wall
with nothing left to lose.
i learned to pray again,
to a God that doesnt answer,
from the gates of hell.
i learned to dream again,
violent shaking nightmares,
waking up to a cold sweat.
i learned to love again
to cherish every moment,
every touch forgotten.
i learned to walk again,
and walked off into the sunset
with our hearts in my hands.
poem by Eric Cockrell
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Remember Our Beloveds.
Our beloved ones finished their time here,
Learned their lessons and they were sincere
They will always live in our memories,
God, please love and bless them,
Because they finished their life studies.
Life is a school room where we face challenges,
Each of us have to face our own experiences.
The best is to forgive the past, be cheerful today,
Always hope in a better tomorrow
And your life will be a joyful play.
poem by LaSoaphia QuXazs
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Portfolio
Look...
I could care less,
About you being stressed
Distressed, depressed...
Or suppressed with anxieties,
Addressed in stale oppressions.
You confess you detest.
What's next?
On this merry-go-round...
You have found a comforting rest.
Is 'this' your 'best'?
I am no longer available,
To share 'that' with you!
Not at this hour.
Not in these times.
Not after what you and I have been through!
To spin in circles just to prove...
I can get dizzy in one spot?
And stagger around unable to move?
I have found my own happiness.
And those 'keys' to my success.
If that is the kind of conversation you wish to have...
Then I am open to express,
Why we both should be thankful to be so blessed.
Fussin' and cussin' is not on my agenda.
Nor is defeat or limitation speeches...
To feed into my consciousness.
IF you have a problem with 'that' or with me...
I will not stop you at all 'if' should turn your back,
To leave!
Be my guest!
You will be received...
In that crab barrel protesting like the rest!
I am only looking for good investments,
For my peace of mind that has been tested.
And whether or not this is understood...
You will not find me sitting on my behind,
To prove to you I can suffer...
Better than you ever could.
Or anyone in the neighborhood.
Should I mope in despair?
Declare to the world I've been ignored?
Should I pout when opportunity knocks?
Because I don't like who or what I see...
When I 'peek' through that door?
I think not!
Not on my 'watch'!
Will I let that go unexplored.
You want to splurge on complaints?
And put restraints on your ambitions?
You want to make your life miserable...
And focus on your condition?
You want to moan and groan about you being 'PO'?
And identify yourself with others like that you know?
That's okay!
I'm not going to tell you don't do it that way!
I am setting up additions to my revised portfolio!
And folks like you who continue to review losses...
Are being removed from the stock the blocks,
My goodwill and the path my journey shows.
And what I feel is mine to be returned?
I've been taught some lessons I have learned...
And I've begun mending bridges I once had burned.
I sense my steps you wish to stop!
And I have to let you go!
My portfolio can not hold onto that nonsense.
I want more than trapping BS,
In my life to adventure and show!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Removed From a Kept Priority List
To know thyself is the greatest of all happiness.
With a joy and fulfillment free of tensions to mention.
So much is understood and comprehended then.
And so much can be accomplished when that happens.
It is as if obstacles do not exist.
At least the ones we are familiar with...
Are removed from a kept priority list.
To forget and be left unaddressed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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This Creation That I Am Is Yours
I feel such a ray within me radiating.
Each time You and I are alone.
And I am comforted in the quietness of peace.
I feel so blessed and grateful,
To have this ease You have bestowed upon me!
Was it hours away in a yesterday gone...
I had questioned my faith,
With a false face I had put on.
But today I know I was all wrong.
You were there protecting me.
And those obstacles that challenged...
Were placed on my path,
So I would realize with You...
I am and can be strong!
I am the 'me' You have made me to be!
I feel so blessed and grateful,
Yes!
I feel such a ray within me radiating.
To this I confess.
To You I am grateful to this blessing,
That has gifted me with happiness.
I had questioned my faith,
With a false face I once had put on!
But I have since removed those disguises.
I want it known You alone own my soul!
And in my mind and heart...
What need do I have to feel forelorn?
I am Your warrior,
My Father.
By Your command...
My actions remain forever bold.
And under Your control...
I stand each day,
To become a better man.
As You alone understand,
This creation that I am...
Is Yours!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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