A Banker Who Smokes Weed
And...
May we have a drumroll please.
What ARE you doing?
'I am rolling.'
I said 'DRUMROLL' fool.
Not 'DUMB-ROLL'.
'Oh.'
And...
Drumro ll.
Thank you.
The winner of the race,
In the chase to acquire...
Is...
It seems we have a tie!
However...
Those who have lost seems to be,
The creditors who issued loans...
To the ones living in homes underwater.
And even with foreclosures...
Are asked to remain in them.
The winners?
The bankers and those who smoke weed,
Confessing today they are gay.
'But aren't they the ones who issued the loans? '
Well...in a way,
You are correct.
However...
If you are a banker who smokes weed,
You can lose billions to pocket.
And then make claims you can't remember it.
To snack on bunches of munchies openly,
And with legal support for such actions.
'Are we all insane? '
Only those without a medical prescription.
And holding out with hopes of a return back to normalcy.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Insane
Somebody told me it was over
Nobody told me where it began
No one believes in you
I understand
Like a blind man
Whos lost his way
No one hears a word
Of what you say
I forgive you
Would you do the same
I would believe you
If only youd be true
I would believe if it were true
Cause everybody wants to be a winner
Nobody wants to lose their game
Its the same for me
Its the same for you
Its insane insane insane insane insane
Insane insane insane insane insane insane
I dont know where youve been looking
I think its only in your mind
Its tied so tight inside of you
All the thoughts unkind
I would believe you
If only youd be true
I would believe if it were true
Cause everybody wants to be a winner
Nobody wants to lose their game
Its the same for me
Its the same for you
Its insane insane insane insane insane
Insane insane insane insane insane
Insane
I would believe you
If only youd be true
Im getting older
And I cant escape time
Cause everybody wants to be a winner
Nobody wants to lose their game
Its the same for me
Its the same for you
Its insane insane insane insane insane
Insane insane insane
Cause everybody wants to be a winner
Nobody wants to lose their game
Its the same or me
Its the same for you
Its insane insane insane insane insane
Insane insane insane insane insane insane
Insane
song performed by by Texas
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'll Never Smoke Weed With Willie Again
I always heard that his herb was top shelf
I just couldn't wait to find out for myself
Don't knock it till you tried it, well I tried it my friend
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
I learned a hard lesson in a small Texas town
He fired up a fat boy and he passed him around
The last words I spoke before they tucked me in
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
My party's all over before it began
You can pour me some old whiskey river my friend
But I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
I hopped on his old bus, the Honeysuckle Rose
The party was Vegas, it was after the show
Alone in the front lounge, just me and him
With one parting puff grime creeper set in
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
My party's all over before it began
You can pour me some old whiskey river my friend
But I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
Now we're passing the guitar, telling good jokes
I know ones a coming cause I'm smelling smoke
No I do not partake, I just let it pass by
With a smile on my face and a great contact high
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
My party's all over before it began
You can pour me some old whiskey river my friend
But I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
In the fetal position with drool on my chin
I messed up and smoked weed with Willie again
song performed by by Toby Keith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ending up-front fees should make it far easier for all students to go to university as they will no longer have to pay up to /1,125 out of their loans at the start of each year. Student loans will also rise to meet average living costs.
quote by Anne Campbell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If He Were Alive Today, Mayhap, Mr. Morgan Would Sit on the Midget's Lap
"Beep-beep.
BANKERS TRUST AUTOMOBILE LOAN
You'll find a banker at Bankers Trust"
Advertisement in N.Y. Times
When comes my second childhood,
As to all men it must,
I want to be a banker
Like the banker at Bankers Trust.
I wouldn't ask to be president
Or even assistant veep,
I'd only ask for a kiddie car
And permission to go beep-beep.
The banker at Chase Manhattan,
He bids a polite Good-day;
The banker at Immigrant Savings
Cries Scusi! and Olé!
But I'd be a sleek Ferrari
Or perhaps a joggly jeep,
And scooting around at Bankers Trust,
Beep-beep, I'd go, beep-beep.
The trolley car used to say clang-clang
And the choo-choo said toot-toot,
But the beep of the banker at Bankers Trust
Is every bit as cute.
Miaow, says the cuddly kitten,
Baa, says the woolly sheep,
Oink, says the piggy-wiggy,
And the banker says beep-beep.
So I want to play at Bankers Trust
Like a hippety-hoppety bunny,
And best of all, oh best of all,
With really truly money.
Now grown-ups dear, it's nightie-night
Until my dream comes true,
And I bid you a happy boop-a-doop
And a big beep-beep adieu.
poem by Ogden Nash
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Rest Of My Life
Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life you can find me postin on my porch
Tokin my pipe-Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life see some people gave in but I aint
Given up the fight Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life find me old postin on my porch
Tokin on my pipe Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life see Im in love with mary jane im
Gonna make her my wife
Sometimes I wanna get high travel up away to the beautiful skies
Float away and hope to never come down hope to see the day that I never come down
But what goes up is always bound to fall
Ill Im trying to say is that I live my life raw
Im gonna smoke week the rest of my life and give all I got till the day that I die.
Ya!
Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life you can find me postin on my porch tokin my
Pipe-Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life see some people gave in but I aint given up
The fight Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life find me old postin on my porch tokin on
My pipe Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life see Im in love with mary jane Im gonna
Make her my wife
When I look in the mirror I feel so low
I see my eyes and I feel the glow
I know I can make do lets bless the sole
Show my love and let myself go wow
Everybody knows that I spit these flows and I drink my beer smoke my weed
But my heads in the clear
Show your love respect the one your dreaming of.
Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life you can find me postin on my porch tokin my
Pipe-Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life see some people gave in but I aint given up
The fight Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life find me old postin on my porch tokin on
My pipe Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life see Im in love with mary jane Im gonna
Make her my wife
Let us plant trees that bear positive fruits that enlighten our minds to the deepest roots all
The way to the core where the soul can stay true where I can walk free with a joint in my hand
And I can plant plants right upon my land help em understand these are natures laws my creator
Had visions in the things he saw yeah he saw yeah my creator had visions in the things he
Saw yeah
Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life you can find me postin on my porch tokin my
Pipe-Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life see some people gave in but I aint given up
The fight Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life find me old postin on my porch tokin on
My pipe Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life see Im in love with mary jane Im gonna
Make her my wife
Now when the love is lost and your spirits are low
The worlds closing in around you got no place to go
Done all that you could to ease and please another soul
And in the end youre in the cold, another sad story told
Thats why I make my own decisions on how Im liven
Try to get by with the knowledge that Im given
Cant make me believe cause a tree is a tree
And when my soul bleeds, the color that Im spillin is green
Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life you can find me postin on my porch tokin my
Pipe-Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life see some people gave in but I aint given up
The fight Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life find me old postin on my porch tokin on
My pipe Im gonna smoke weed for the rest of my life see Im in love with mary jane Im gonna
Make her my wife
song performed by by Kottonmouth Kings
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Our Economy Has Been Officially Saved
AND...
The winner is,
The winner IS...
Drumroll please!
The Winner...
IS,
The chicken.
'Whew.
That's a relief.
Sir?
There are a multiple array,
Of choice chicken.
Which chicken won,
As the best chicken to be served...
In the halls of our illustrious government.
Was it the fried? '
No.
But,
You are close.
'Oh?
So it was the baked.'
Nooo...
But you don't know how close you're getting.
'OH?
Well.
It just has to be the Bar-b-qued?
That's great news.
We were so afraid,
Our representatives would choose...'
The General TSO?
That's the one selected.
AND...
There will be free cooking lessons,
And recipes for all!
With immediate language lessons added,
To boot!
We are so tremendously happy,
To make this announcement.
Our economy,
Has been officially saved!
We've been blessed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Pass Me Da Green
This is a ghetto public announcement (weed smokers)
Roll your blunts tight
And light your joints
Inhale...slowly exhale
And that's how you get high.
(clip from Friday)
I know you don't smoke weed... I know this
But I'm gonna get you high today
Cause it's Friday
song performed by by Master P from Ghetto D
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Did you ever see Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke? That's what happens if you really smoke weed and make a movie. You get two guys and no plot and it's basically like, 'Yeah! Let's drive a van made of weed!' And that's pretty much the movie.
quote by James Franco
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Critic
I always heard that his her was top shelf
Lord I just could not wait to find out for myself.
Well don't knock it till you've tried it.
And I've tried it my friend.
I'll never smoke Weed with willie again!
Now we learned a hard lesson in a small Texas town
He fired up a fat boy and he passed it around
The last words I spoke before they tucked me in
I may discount Bungee jump but,
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again.
Chorus:
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
My party's all over before it begins
You can't pour me some old whiskey River my friend.
But I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
We hopped on his old bus the Honeysuckel Rose
The party was Huntsville, but it was after the show
Alone in the front lounge, just me and him
I took one friendly puff and the grim creeper set in
Chorus
Now we're passin' the guitar, we're tellin' good jokes
I can tell one's a comin' 'cause I'm smellin' smoke
No I do not partake I just let it pass by
With a grin on my face and a great contact high
Chorus
In the fetal position with drool on my chin
We broke down and smoked weed with Willie again
song performed by by Toby Keith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Butterfly Weed
Oh lady bug, you've done a good deed.
Setting your table on the butterfly weed,
You're the custodian of all you survey,
On butterfly weed, till the end of the day.
Oh beautiful monarch, where do you feed,
I see you too love the butterfly weed.
You and the ladybug would be poor indeed,
If it was'nt for the butterfly weed.
Oh hummingbird whose throat seems to bleed,
What do you here on the butterfly weed?
All hummingbirds, good advice heed,
We love the orange butterfly weed.
God's smallest creatures, go by one creed,
To congregate on the butterfly weed.
Let the south wind blow, and spread your seed,
So that there will be millions of the butterfly weed.
5/31/03 Alton Texas
poem by Juan Olivarez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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What's Kept Safe Today?
They make claims that are wished,
With announcements delivered to dish.
With the same hollowed tiredness...
To kepp 'this' safe!
A land upon which,
Rules made...
They are the first to break,
Excuse and dismiss!
What's kept safe today?
A way of life...
With a quality,
That has progressively decayed?
What's kept safe today?
A planned career one takes...
To find administrators and top executives,
Are earning lots more pay.
And cutting jobs...
To outsource them away?
What's kept safe today?
An investment in homes...
With money borrowed on sky high interests,
From institutions...
Knowingly,
Providing tainted loans?
What's kept safe today?
Elected officials there to monitor with goodwill?
Only to discover them corrupt...
And incompetently sleeping,
At the wheel.
Driving blinded!
As the innocent are killed!
What's kept safe today?
Borders unprotected.
Continuing to go neglected.
With an indifference shown...
Or at least suspected!
what; s kept safe today?
A dollar sliding into worthlessness.
With debts held by others...
Who could care less,
Who suffers from a propaganda.
Exclaiming whose 'values' are threatened!
And who's standards are better.
Or greater than the rest!
What's kept safe today?
Dreams and hopes...
Slipping?
And schemed to be erased?
By those in high places.
With smiles on their faces.
And igniting a rascistness...
To build and infest.
What's kept safe today?
A stabbing in the back.
By the very ones who stir terrorists attacks.
With a desire to bleed,
Those in need.
And spread deceit and gloom.
While they feed their greed...
In the safety of secrets.
As they pocket and run.
From a doom they have begun!
Leaving in delight...
Those who fight over,
Who is on the left side...
Of those choosing to remain,
In the dark on the right!
What's kept safe today?
A constant dimming of the light!
And the cost to pay the price to keep,
This kind of self righteous isolated way of life!
Lead by those leading the 'sheep' into blight!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Seaweed Shovelling Song
This is my seaweed shovelling song
Ive been shovelling all day long
Ive got got my seaweed shovel in hand
Because Im a seaweed shovelling man
Green weed, red weed, still alive and dead weed
Lying in a pile on the shore
Brown weed, pink weed, smelly kind of stink weed
Who on earth could ask for more!
This is my seaweed shovelling song
Ive been shovelling all day long
Ive got got my seaweed shovel in hand
Because Im a seaweed shovelling man
Dry weed, wet weed, aint-been-troubled-yet weed
Glinting in the morning sun
Thin weed, thick weed, slimy kind of slick weed
Every bucket weighs a ton!
This is my seaweed shovelling song
Ive been shovelling all day long
Ive got got my seaweed shovel in hand
Because Im a seaweed shovelling
Seaweed shovelling
Seaweed shovelling
Seaweed shovelling man!
song performed by by Waterboys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stressed To Their Mental Limits
No matter what the showing of proof may be,
There are still many believing...
They live a way of life envied by others.
But very few seem envious of those,
Living day to day on leases and loans...
While being indebted to creditors.
Even those teased and ridiculed,
For having nothing to impress...
Sleep peacefully and appear to be rested,
Than those claiming to have everything...
Yet appear and seem to be medicated,
To avoid being stressed to their mental limits.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Even President Bush has cited the need to outlaw the practice of corporations making loans to their officers. Strangely enough, when the President was a corporate officer, he took out several loans from the company.
quote by Bennie Thompson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Life in Paradise: 21st Century Style
2000-2001
The “dot com” bubble bursts
Recession
9/11/2001
America attacked!
Our way of life is threatened
Fear sets in
Financial institutions vulnerable!
Economy in a nose dive
What to do?
Everybody fly the flag from your home.
Save housing - Save the economy!
First, everybody needs a home.
The madness begins.
2002-2003
Create laws to increase minority homeownership
California gives birth to the ARMs* and NINJA** loans
Accounting irregularities at Fannie Mae (FNMA) & Freddie Mac (FDMAC) ***
Doors open for Wall Street to invest in Main Street
Without those pesky government regulations
Homeownership increases
...“After all ever since the Great Depression, home values have ALWAYS gone up
And everybody pays their mortgage ”…
WARNING! WARNING! DANGER! DANGER!
AREN”T HOME PRICES INCREASING FASTER THAN INCOME?
…...“No problem; it only takes a little creative mortgage financing and Wall St loves those high yielding mortgages…..
HIGHER RISK - HIGHER YIELD!
Pension funds love high yield.
Buy more and more....
…...“After all ever since the Great Depression, home values have ALWAYS gone up
And everybody pays their mortgage ”…..
WARNING! WARNING! DANGER! DANGER!
AREN”T PENSION FUNDS ONLY ALLOWED TO BUY AAA RATED INVESTMENTS?
...“Problem solved...banks pay the salaries at the Rating Agencies and Ratings Agencies in turn lower the standards to obtain a AAA rating”...
WARNING! WARNING! DANGER! DANGER!
WHO’S WATCHING THE “HEN HOUSE” WHO’S MINDING THE STORE?
...“Who cares?
Everyone is happy
Millions of new jobs created
Millions of new homeowners
Millions of dollars for bankers
Millions of dollars for Wall St
And everyone owns a home on Main St
Money is flowing
Everyone wins! ”…
WARNING! WARNING! DANGER! DANGER!
AREN”T HOMES BECOMING LESS AFFORDABLE?
2004 -2005
...“Pressure Government to create more creative loans and even lower down payments with even higher yields and make more bucks”…
A new mortgage is born, Euphemism: THE PAY OPTION NEGATIVE AM ARM Loan
...Easy to sell… You chose your own payment! You chose your interest rate! ...
WILL WALL ST BUY THESE LOANS?
….“You bet! Wall St loves these high yield mortgages. They package these loans as CDOs***** and sell them to Pension Funds, Municipalities, Foreign Governments etc
Spread the risk - Harvest the yield! …
Now Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac want back in on the action
...“After all ever since the Great Depression, home values have ALWAYS gone up
And everybody pays their mortgage ”
Everyone wins! …
The country is now infected with AFLUENZA
...“We need even more mortgages. Pressure Government to lower credit qualifications, raise borrowing limits, allow less equity positions. Let homeowners use their homes as ATMs+++”...
WARNING! WARNING! DANGER! DANGER!
WHERE IS THE SEC? WHERE IS THE FED? *****
...“Banks will police themselves” says the SEC
“Homeownership is up.
The Standard of Living is up
It is good” says the Fed...
...“After all ever since the Great Depression, home values have ALWAYS gone up
And everybody pays their mortgage ”...
CAN THIS LAST? WON”T HOMES PRICES HAVE TO COME DOWN OR INCOMES GO UP? .
2006 – 2007
Prices too high.
Average home unaffordable
Fewer home buyers.
Prices sinking
ARM’s resetting
Sub prime borrowers defaulting
Ninja loans failing.
Banks taking in less
Fewer dollars to lend
Layoffs beginning
Homes over-mortgaged
Appraising for much less
Equity gone
No equity - No sale
The downward spiral begins
Existing incomes static
Mortgage payments climbing
Homes losing value
Appraising lower
Jobs being lost
Unemployment rising
Banks failing
Wall St collapsing
Investment yields disappearing.
No way out!
2008 –2009
Elect a new administration with a RESCUE PLAN!
….“Spend more money Acquire more debt”….
WARNING! WARNING! DANGER! DANGER!
*ARM: Adjustable Rate Mortgage,
** NINJA loan: No Income, No Job or Assets
*** FNMA & FDMAC: Federal National Mortgage Corporation & Federal Home Loan Mortgage Corporation
**** CDO Collateral Debt Obligations
****** SEC: Securities & Exchange Commission & Federal Reserve System
+++ATM: Automated Teller Machine
poem by Nancy Chambers
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Weed
There was an old woman
that planted a garden.
And in the garden
there grew a weed.
The weed grew next to
a beautiful flower.
The flower had grown
from a tiny seed.
The weed was strong
and would not bend.
The wind did blow
and it did send
the seeds from the flower
into the air.
They circled around
and landed where
the weed was growing
next to the flower.
Soon the weed was
surrounded by flowers.
It loved where it was
and looked by the hours
at all of the beautiful
colorful flowers.
The old woman who planted
the garden one day
decided that she would
make a bouquet.
She went to the garden
to cut the flowers.
But when she got there
down came the showers.
The raindrops that fell
made the weed shine
which made the old woman
change her mind.
She left them alone
in her garden and knew
that the weed belonged
with the flowers that grew.
She'd planted the flowers.
God planted the weed.
The garden was perfect.
No bouquet did she need.
poem by Edwina Reizer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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In a More Receptive Mood
If it's going to be about race,
Today.
Let us vow to say...
That race is for the taste of life.
And we keep a pace to make it right.
If it's going to be about race,
Today.
And if it is about race,
Today.
Let's pray to race for harmony and peace.
And show there is a life believed with liberties,
We ourselves achieve.
Chase we must those shadows away.
And those gray clouds created,
To shade the brightest colors to fade.
And if it is about race,
Today.
Our hearts must remain wide open.
To initiate another fate...
That places us in a more receptive mood.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Economy
"There's nothing like economy,"
I heard a chap remark,
Who, judging by his tout ensemble,
Had issued from the ark.
He was a most peculiar man,
With visage wan and thin,
And liquid drops of amber hue
A-trickling down his chin.
"They tell us it's extravagant,"
He added with a shrug,
As he deposited a quid
Within his spacious "mug," —
"They tell us it's extravagant,
This ' chewing of the weed;'
But only use ' economy,'
You'll never be in need.
"And this is how to practise it:
Chew your tobacco well,
Using a little at a time,—
It nat'rally will swell;
"Then take the quid and dry it, sir!"—
'Twas thus the fellow spoke,—
"And, when you want a quiet whiff,
Put in your pipe, and smoke.
"And, stranger, after doing this,
If you are fond of snuff,
The ashes that are left behind
Will serve you well enough.
"And thus," said this peculiar man
(I fear he did but joke,)
"If you will follow my advice,
It will not end in smoke."
poem by Charles Follen Adams from Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Dealing With 'Accepted' Reality
The most difficult part in dealing with 'accepted' reality,
Is the financing of the delusional side of it.
With loans due and credit rates soaring to pay.
And creditors seem to lose their sense of humor,
The moment an application is signed...
And denied for having no credit history.
With no one to co-sign for a lifetime of dependency.
Or one having such bad credit a rating no longer applies.
Leaving those with no debts at all...
Feeling ostracized and looked upon as threats.
And today...
If one is not in foreclosure,
Or has a repossession in progress...
A feeling of being in total isolation is the experience.
With stares received from others for being unpatriotic!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Those Living To Impress Others
Living an unconventional lifestyle,
Amongst those living on loans and credit cards...
Is an experience of one's stamina and tolerance.
An utmost patience.
Since those living to impress others,
Assume those who choose to live basically...
Aren't accustomed to having 'things' to flaunt.
Or things deemed to be of worth and valued.
So therefore...
The showing to them disrespect is justifiable.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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