I Learn And Study English
- Let’s start from the very beginning!
- Ok, I know, it’s a very good place to start.
- If you want to know how to read
you have to learn the alphabet.
As far as we are not in a race
you can face 26 letters in one phrase.
“The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog”.
Now we’ll have some dialogue.
You’ll see how new words appear,
I hope everything will be clear.
For example: to admire – admiration,
to inspire – inspiration. Now you, please!
And pray be at your ease!
- To desire – desiration.
- Oops! My voice whoops!
Well, when you study English
you have to distinguish:
one goose but many geese.
-What about a moose?
Are they meese?
- A lone mouse can transform into…
a whole set of mice,
but… it’s impossible for a single house
to become a whole block of hice.
- Ok, a house – houses.
Why not a mouse – mouses?
- A tooth but teeth, a foot but feet.
If I speak of a foot
and you show me your feet.
- And if I give you a boot
would a pair be called beet?
Can I say a root
and in plural form reet?
- Let’s make this question complete!
There are a lot of exceptions
in the language of British nations.
Anyway, the rules are the tools
for learning the language,
and together with the exceptions
it is something like a sandwich.
Let’s go on! - said my teacher with a yawn.
A lot of time has already gone,
I am not going to stay here until the dawn.
Do you like to read?
- Of course! The books are the source of information,
to learn the language formation.
- Ok, then you are a reader.
- If I like to write I am a writer, am I not?
- Oh, yes! Something I forgot.
Let’s take an easy word “ball”.
- Yes, I like to play football.
- Good! Now open the ball!
- What do you mean by that?
I am not a rat so that to cut the ball.
It’s not funny at all.
- You are kidding!
- Oh, no! I am not a kid!
I would like to know where the meaning of that “ball” lead.
- Ok, in that phrase “ball” has the meaning of a party,
but… a bit more arty.
- There are a lot of other English words I can’t understand.
Why do they call all men gentlemen?
Are they all gentle?
This word looks so fundamental.
If a man is rude can I say a rudeman?
I wouldn’t like to look like a clown
That’s why I ask you again:
Will the difference remain
If I say: shut up or shut down?
I would also like to know:
If we say a teacher taught
why can’t we say: a preacher praught?
If people from Poland are called “Poles”
Why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes”
- Ok, I think our time has gone
and the whole picture of English was not yet drawn.
But at the end of our lesson I would like say:
You were lying all day.
- Oh, no! That’s not true!
I lay on the sofa just several times.
You had better tell me:
With just what “lie” rhymes?
Larisa R (Odessa, Ukraine)
poem by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
This Crazy English Language
English is crazy, we do explore
Singular and plural, probe for more
If goose for geese and tooth for teeth
Why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?
English speakers, verbally insane
Learning this language is really a pain
Index to indices, teachers taught
Why didn't those preachers praught?
Feet that smell, noses that run
Away with murder, such a pun
Play at recital, recite at play
Oral asylum, what else could it be?
poem by Noel A Medina
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Them Heavy People
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
They arrived at an inconvenient time.
I was hiding in a room in my mind.
They made me look at myself. I saw it well.
Id shut the people out of my life.
So now I take the opportunities:
Wonderful teachers ready to teach me.
I must work on my mind. for now I realise:
Everyone of us has a heaven inside.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Them heavy people help me.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
They open doorways that I thought were shut for good.
They read me gurdjieff and jesu.
They build up my body, break me emotionally.
Its nearly killing me, but what a lovely feeling!
I love the whirling of the dervishes.
I love the beauty of rare innocence.
You dont need no crystal ball,
Dont fall for a magic wand.
We humans got it all, we perform the miracles.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Them heavy people help me.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball...
song performed by by Kate Bush
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A short poem
this poem is the shortest I've written
however it may appear long
because the actual poem
is hidden somewhere far away
it is not in this website
the poem bounces off stars
it floats across the milky way
and dances with rock stars
The actual poem is so short
that in trhe English language
it would be impossible to say
because it fits so much in into a short
time frain, the meaning is compacted
into a single alien word
but in that word there is meaning
of a thousand words of praise
the poem could be analysed
for days and months and years
and after that point the true meaning would
only start to appear
so I beg you to learn this alien
langauage
read my poem carefully
for it is returning to earth
and should arrive by the time I have finished typing
luckily the alien dialect uses English letters
so you can read it
however to understand it
truely
wholey
completely
is not possible for the tiny human mind
I can hear it zinging now
it's bounced of Orions Belt
it just hit me in the fore head and it is spreading over this page
so here it is
the shortest poem
I have ever written
prepare to face it; s mastery for
it
is:
Slurplesploosh
poem by Torben Duncan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Ball
What it ain't y'all?
Welcome 2 the Crystal Ball
Got any notion about the way things are? Give 'em up!
Come on y'all
(Ball) {repeats in BG}
Ooh wee! (Party!)
(Get up, come on)
All pound on the 2 y'all
Shake the weakest peach (Get off and party y'all)
If U got a weak heart, split now
We got 2 be funky
Everybody, say it
This is your Crystal Ball (Get up and party) (Yeah)
One time, say it (Ball)
(Come on, get up and get down, yeah)
Check it out if U want 2
Listen 2 a brand new sound
Peachy beat and harmony
Shake your body down
No time 4 attitudes
No, we don't wanna fight
All I wanna do is get yo' peachy stuff
And have some fun 2night ... people!
(Ball) {repeats in BG}
Ouch! (Come on) Come on, Ball
(Party) (Come on) Yeah
(Get down) Come on, come on, yeah (Ball)
Jam in the 3 y'all
Ain't no couples allowed
Unless U wanna do it right mama
And get married like a bull and cow
No time 4 attitudes (No time)
I said we don't wanna fight
All I wanna do is get pumped mama
And have some fun 2night ... people!
Ball, it's a party
Everybody get loose
Ball, shake your body
Just like a goose... goosey
(Ball) (Ball) Everybody
(Ball) (Ball) Ooh aah
Oooh wee!
Say it y'all, come on (Oooh wee!)
(Yeah, come on, get up)
(Join the party, get up, get up, yeah)
What it ain't y'all?
Welcome 2 the Crystal Ball
U got any notions about the way things are?
Give'em up and come on y'all... oh!
Any peaches in the house?
Sing with me y'all, come on
Whoa!
2 funky, say it again
Whoa!
Yeah ooh
Woo!
This is your Crystal Ball
All 4 fun, fun 4 all
Ow! Ow!
Crystal Ball
Alright, everybody on the one y'all
I want U 2 say "Ball"
(Ball) {repeat in BG}
Say it like U mean it, come on, say it
Woo, yeah
Say it y'all, come on
Baby?
Baby, do U wanna? Yes
This is your Crystal Ball
All 4 fun and fun 4 all, woo!
Keep singing y'all {x2}
Come on
What U wanna do? {x2}
Woo! Yes
Oh! Don't try and stop me!
Hit me girl!
Welcome 2 the Crystal Ball!
{crowd noise segues into "Joy In Repetition
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One Meat Ball
(l. singer-h.zaret)
The little man walked up and down
To find an eating place in town
He read the menu through and through
To see what fifteen cents could do
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, he could afford but one meat ball
He told the waiter near at hand
A simple dinner he had planned
The guests were startled one and all to hear
That waiter loudly call
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, this here gent wants one meat ball
Little man felt very bad
One meat ball was all he had
And in his dreams he hears that call
Ya gets no bread with one meat ball
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, you get no bread with one meat ball
Well, he could afford but one meat ball
One meat ball, one meat ball
All he could afford was one meat ball
One meat ball
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ball & Chain
I've been on this roller coaster just too many times
And always it seems like
The blind keep on leading the blind
Tried to get them on the 'phone
Tried to find my way back home
Tned and failed, and tried and failed, again
But baby i don't want you 'cos you look so good
I don't want you 'cos i know i should
I don't want you to come in f rom the rain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
Ah just lately i've been roaming from town to town
I've been setting them up, setting them up
And i've been knocking them down
I was born to live, it seems, a fugitive dream
Make things always better than they seem
And i stop and start, and stop and start
And stop and start again
Baby i don't want you for your money
I don't want you 'cos i love you honey
I don't want you to ease this memory pain
No, i want you to be my ball and chain
Yes, i want you to be my, be my ball and chain
When i see you in the garden once again
Baby you'll be standing in the summer rain
Laugh and cry and say what it's all about
You can even jump and shout
And you'll smile and say how are you again
I don't want you 'cos i'm so blue
I don't want you 'cos you know what to do
I don't want you because all my love seems in vain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
Oh, be my ball and chain
Be my ball and chain, be my ball and chain
Oh, be my ball and chain
I want you.....ball and chain, etc.
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kick Off Ball
Kick off ball,
Kick the ball to win the game!
But, with fair play.
Player,
Lyricist,
Arranger,
Keeper,
Composer,
Winner! !
But it was only yesterday that i found you;
And like the game ball in the land of your muse.
Face to face,
Again and again!
But pay and take it;
And, play the match to win the game! !
Play the ball,
Kick the ball,
And like the African Cup of Nations!
Race, ace, face, brace, mace, place, lace;
But words are things upon a thought,
And like something long lost! !
However, play the ball into the net to win the game.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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High Ball Shooter
Well Im a rock and roll preacher
Not a sunday school teacher
You aint no shady lady
But I love the way you strut your stuff
Youre a snow queen looking mean
Tryin to make it on the scene
I guess you love it
cause I always see you hanging around
Youre a high ball shooter
You make it easy to see
High ball shooter
You sure ripped the low ones off me
A magnet brought you to me
Told me your name was jo
You said you liked my music
And you really did enjoy the show
Now I wanna play piano
But my fingers dont agree
Theyre busy on you woman
And I feel your fingers workin on me
Youre a high ball shooter
You make it easy to see
High ball shooter
You sure ripped the low ones off me
Its time to leave you honey
I know youre feeling sad
Dont you cry now baby
You know that only makes me mad
I see you everywhere I go
Every town and place
I cant recall your name
But I know I wont forget your sweet face
Youre a high ball shooter
You make it easy to see
High ball shooter
You sure ripped the low ones off me
cause youre a high ball shooter
You make it easy to see
High ball shooter
You sure ripped the low ones off me
song performed by by Deep Purple
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Havin A Ball
Written by james young, john curulewski
Lead vocals by james young
Yeah
Now tell me girl
Wont you tell me true
Help me get this out of my head
Now fenny thinks that there aint no stoppin
Until you got me flat on my back
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
Now theres things that I agree with
And things that I really dont
If you think Im free to try something crazy
There aint nothing round that I wont
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
Yeah
Just havin a ball
Just havin a ball
Just havin a ball
Just havin a ball
Now if you want to spend some time with me
If youve got some time to kill
Tell more or else Ill leave this place
Know a couple of a ladies that will
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
Yeah
Just havin a ball
Just havin a ball
Just havin a ball
Just havin a ball
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
song performed by by Styx
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ball Chain
Ive been on this roller coaster just too many times
And always it seems like
The blind keep on leading the blind
Tried to get them on the phone
Tried to find my way back home
Tned and failed, and tried and failed, again
But baby I dont want you cos you look so good
I dont want you cos I know I should
I dont want you to come in f rom the rain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
Ah just lately Ive been roaming from town to town
Ive been setting them up, setting them up
And Ive been knocking them down
I was born to live, it seems, a fugitive dream
Make things always better than they seem
And I stop and start, and stop and start
And stop and start again
Baby I dont want you for your money
I dont want you cos I love you honey
I dont want you to ease this memory pain
No, I want you to be my ball and chain
Yes, I want you to be my, be my ball and chain
When I see you in the garden once again
Baby youll be standing in the summer rain
Laugh and cry and say what its all about
You can even jump and shout
And youll smile and say how are you again
I dont want you cos Im so blue
I dont want you cos you know what to do
I dont want you because all my love seems in vain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
Oh, be my ball and chain
Be my ball and chain, be my ball and chain
Oh, be my ball and chain
I want you.....ball and chain, etc.
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The f word and me
The other day we discussed reasons
why people use
the magical f word.
a Young woman is of the opinion
that it’s because of a lack of imperfect language,
where a person’s vocabulary
lacks other words to use.
I think that there are many more other reasons
to slip in everywhere
and that vocabulary
has very little
or nothing to do with it.
One thing that can incite it
is exposure,
where people hear it
hundreds of times
every day
like in an army.
Subsequently without intention
it becomes part of your conversation
and your own vocabulary,
without drawing any attention
with yourself.
The word f is a power word
that give colour intensity
to the meanings of other words
and it can underline, emphasize
or lift some out.
You can also use it as a word
that has many meanings
and use it like a good shifting spanner
that shift for meaning values.
This word can also
be almost any word type
that gives bigger power
to other words used with it.
The thing that really matters
what others read
in the meaning of my words
and if I loose integrity by using it.
There are times
my mother wants to catch a fit
when I use the f word
and not from the meaning
of my words,
but from the negative context
that can be drawn with the word
and the easy transfer
of the word on children that hear my dialogue.
[With thanks to Skymaster, whose article inspired this poem.]
poem by Gert Strydom
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yes, what if God does not speak english at all?
you were not born yesterday
and probably heard it before
that if your God does not speak english
then he must not be God
of course, something arrogant
hangs in the air
of this effortless superiority that
'englishers'
'english-plongplangs'
clai m, which, of course, we
always oppose and dub
as prettry dumb silly
but anyhow, yes, we are asked again
what if?
what if, this God, does not really speak English?
well, of course, he is still God
and he must not have considered the english language
that important
and i agree, even if i speak it,
i still have this language
of my soul,
albeit, in english, for you,
who does not speak my own language,
yes, of course, for you to perhaps
understand,
but i like it though, this thought
that God does not speak
the english language, lest, he may sound
so englishly, oh well,
arrogant.....
dear God
do you really...not speak english?
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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For Ball
At home
my dog and child
play the foot ball
Dog kick the ball
Clild also kick
Ball was...
Run to run...
Suddnley dog
Bite the ball
The ball was blast...
Chil was cry
Dog was wow...wow...!
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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World Cup Dream
I don’t have a world cup dream
But I love to play Football
I don’t have the master technique
But all for the good of my team
Food ball + food ball + food ball
This word is my life
Sweating and passing the ball
Running fast and finding that opportune hole
As a result, we can say “Goal”
poem by Rajan Thapaliya
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English Language
The English language it contains thousands of words
Which includes nouns, adjectives, constants and verbs
Structuring them together to create novels or speeches
So we can speak or read or listen while a teacher teaches
And of those thousands words that we have at our command
Some are the few words that decent people have banned
Sadly those few words most people use to swear and to curse
They are crude, coarse and obscene which are used alone or in a verse.
The English language contains thousands of words
Which equals to the stars in the sky or the multitude of birds
They are used in conversation and to define who we are
Words are the building blocks from a vast reservoir
But then we have those few words that are very crude
People use them to hurt or to insult and also to be lewd
Judge a book by its cover and the people by the words they use
When we speak, speak with caution and ponder and then be a muse.
Randy L. McClave
poem by Randy McClave
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My English Teacher
At the grade three
A new teacher came
Around her table
A queue we were all in
Having exercise books on our hands
To get written our names on it
Twining with aroma of her perfume
Let the mind not go back to the bench
My English teacher
Not like other teachers
Wearing new dresses
Pleasant smile with snazzy
I bought a double rule book
To write proper English letters
Putting the alphabet of base
Following day had a message
No more with us
Principle's words
Teacher came to us
We cried a lot
"Why may teacher you go leaving us'
'Is our school not good'
While worshiping on her feet
Without an answer
Looking at us
Touched our heads
She got a transfer
Because of our remote dry school
Since then on
Until primary end
Without an English teacher
My texts books were new
She doesn't know me for sure
Placed an aroma still in my mind
You wrote that name of mine
I am writing today.
poem by Udaya R. Tennakoon
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Start Living
(Steven Dale Jones/Amy Powers)
He just can't wait to graduate
He's marking time and counting days
He'll toss that cap and watch that tassel fly
So he can start living
Yeah, finally start living
'Cause he's got big plans
And he'll have time on his hands
To start living
Before he knows ten years are gone
A dead-end job, a mortgage loan
He wonders where the chances passed him by
To really start living
Yeah he wants to start living
And soon he's sure
He can finally afford
To start living
He'll read more books
He'll make more love
He'll talk more to the man above
He'll watch the sunset in the west
And visit Mexico
He'll learn to cook, he'll play some ball
He'll write that book, he'll make that call
He'll take the time
Some other time
Someday he'll do it all
Well sittin' in the barber chair
He sees the silver in his hair
Those golden years are comin' right behind
And then he'll start living
He'll really start living
Yeah he feels tired
Ah, but soon he'll retire
And start living
He'll read more books
He'll make more love
He'll talk more to the man above
He'll watch the sunset in the west
And visit Mexico
He'll learn to cook, he'll play some ball
He'll write that book, he'll make that call
He'll take the time
Some other time
Someday he'll do it all
Well the doctor says, I've got bad news
Afraid there's nothing we can do
And all at once the tears are in his eys
He'll never start living
Never really start living
Yeah he had big plans
But there's no time on his hands
To start living
When he sees the pearly gates
He'll really start living
song performed by by Alabama
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Unarmed Combat
In due course of course you will all be issued with
Your proper issue; but until tomorrow,
You can hardly be said to need it; and until that time,
We shall have unarmed combat. I shall teach you.
The various holds and rolls and throws and breakfalls
Which you may sometimes meet.
And the various holds and rolls and throws and breakfalls
Do not depend on any sort of weapon,
But only on what I might coin a phrase and call
The ever-important question of human balance,
And the ever-important need to be in a strong
Position at the start.
There are many kinds of weakness about the body,
Where you would least expect, like the ball of the foot.
But the various holds and rolls and throws and breakfalls
Will always come in useful. And never be frightened
To tackle from behind: it may not be clean to do so,
But this global war.
So give them all you have, and always give them
As good as you get; it will always get you somewhere.
(You may not know it, but you can tie a Jerry
Up without rope; it is one of the things I shall teach.)
Nothing will matter if only you are ready for him.
The readiness is all.
The readiness is all. How can I help but feel
I have been here before? But somehow then,
I was the tied-up one. How to get out
Was always then my problem. And even if I had
A piece of rope I was always the sort of person
Who threw rope aside.
And in my time I had given them all I had,
Which was never as good as I got, and it got me nowhere.
And the various holds and rolls and throws and breakfalls
Somehow or other I always seemed to put
In the wrong place. And, as for war, my wars
Were global from the start.
Perhaps I was never in a strong position.
Or the ball of my foot got hurt, or I had some weakness
Where I had least expected. But I think I see your point.
While awaiting a proper issue, we must learn the lesson
Of the ever-important question of human balance.
It is courage that counts.
Things may be the same again; and we must fight
Not in the hope of winning but rather of keeping
Something alive: so that when we meet our end,
It may be said that we tackled wherever we could,
That battle-fit we lived, and though defeated,
Not without glory fought.
poem by Henry Reed
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Finglish
I am from Finland and i speak 'Finglish'!
Because i am learning the English language and,
It always infuses with my Finnish.
I am learning to keep me going but,
I do speak my English like 'Finglish'! !
And i always try to enforce the truth of my peace like,
The subconscious act from my mind to muse up things:
But i am unaware of your love.
Try to keep me informed on this love and,
Try to teach me the English language so that i cam be with you;
For the heavens and the earth do know how i do speak.
Keep me on the tracks of your love and teach me more!
For one day i will learn the English language very well;
And i will be ready to teach you my Finnish language as well.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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The Language That The Poor Wants To Speak
do you speak good English?
do you take pride in it and then use it to impress others
and swindle them
into a belief that they are inferior?
they have feelings too
of humiliation
which even in such a sad state
wish that their humiliation
speak good English still
they always think that English will give them
a good job
a better standing in the society
a flare of fashionable tongue
you make them cry
but still they want to speak that cry in English too
foolish!
but can you blame them?
you who hold that power and might
you who have taken all what they once had
and made them
worse within
themselves
despite which,
they still want to be like you
to speak like you
a god
how sad!
you have never known the language of love
the grammar of generosity
the syntax of sympathy
that language that good English
sometimes has forgotten
to utter
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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