Fertility

As a little girl I was prepared to be fertile
But I knew all along it wasn’t my style
I made plans for a future and career
Everything I lined out very sincere
There was no room for additional life
I never missed a family or being a wife

Then only once I lost myself in another
Very briefly I surrendered to smother
I was tempted and invincible for a while
Until I left sentiments behind like a junk pile
In my schedule and work I found satisfaction
I was on my path again without distraction

The corporate world is a tough play ground
Women have to fight harder to stick around
What is given to a man a woman has to earn
And it is a lonely path disregarding concern
I played by the rules and had it all figured out
But life reserved the last laugh without doubt

New emotions suddenly opened my heart
And all my changes became part of a chart
I carefully outweighed my goals and choices
While I started to listen to familiar voices
My reflection in the mirror changed to another
And I chose to become someone else – a mother

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Last Days In My Life

(3/7/12)

There were days in my life that I recall
When there was no hope left - no hope at all.
Then my thoughts wandered to CHRIST
And I felt that I was in paradise.

SAINT PETER was there to meet me at
Those pearly gates
And I knew I was there because I never lost faith
there were angels on both sides that lined
The path to his throne.
My family and friends were there, so I wasn't alone.

The choir of angels singing all in tune
And I knew my life didn't end too soon.
The path was filled with the brightest of lights
My oh my such a beautiful sight.
And the trumpets blared with the most beautiful sound
As the angels all gathered around.

I walked up the path as if I was floating on air
Because I left behind any worries and cares.
Although I felt a slight pain in my heart
Because I had left so many behind
But I knew that they would be fine.

The transition from being a mortal man
To being a guiding light, had made
My heart jump as it took to flight.
I could now help others more than ever before
For my lord had opened those doors.

Our souls become like lightning bugs that light up the sky
That's what we become you and I.
We light up the path for all others to see
As we greet friends and family.© L.Rams

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Golden Years

he finally reached his golden years
wanted to leave his family,
thoughts and love to share.
so he sat with pen in hand
wrote about his lifes plan.

it started off with just his dream
never expecting the unforseen.
as his plans began to unwind
he found himself lost in time.

he joined the army at an early age
this was to become the setting stage
he survived the street gangs and a war
and never talking about what he saw.

he managed retail businesses all his life
met the woman who would become his wife.
he had always loved children
so he thought it was time
his wife agreed and it turned out fine.

a beautiful little girl came into their life
and everything seemed twice as nice.
now he had two women who captured his heart
and knew right then, that this was the start.

the start to his golden years
with his wife he could share.
all the dreams that were meant to be
was now becoming a reality.

but the years was going by fast
he knew his dreams would not last.
now with this thought in mind
he decided it was time
to put his life in perspective
for the golden years to become effective.

so he changed his train of thoughts
a late retirement he would abort.
he retired before his time
so he could enjoy life the way
that it was meant to be
living happy and carefree.

now that he finished writing
down his thoughts and plans
he let them know
'YOUR PERCEPTION BECOMES YOUR REALITY'
and this is what mine was to me.
the golden years are now mine
and i'm lost in its time.

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Walking In The Shadows, Where The Path Wasn't For Me

tired of walking in the shadows,
down a path not for me,
i made a new path,

but, it was set for death,
i thought it was for me,
never seen the years i had to come,

plus everything i can be,
never felt good enough,
always thought,

it was the path for me,
finally i opened my eyes,
and stopped placing blame,

on people who mad my life,
a living hell,
woke up to find,

i was to blame,
for how my life was going,
nobody but me,

for the mistakes i've made,
in my life until this day,
i changed little by little,

because i will no longer,
just linger in the shadows,
where the path isn't for me,

i'm stronger than ever,
as i tackle my problems,
and find the path,

that i've made for myself,
because i take control,
and become the leader,

instead of the follower,
watching life pass me by,
i know what i want,

now it just time to get it,
without being in the shadows,
and walking down a path,

that i learned,
just wasn't for me.
Copyright © 2009
11-17-09

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Battered Wife

when they met, she could'nt know
that later on, his true colors would show.
he beat on women all his life
then he made her ' his wife'.

just so that he could have a puching bag
and that part of life ' is very sad'.

in his life he saw abuse
and decided to put it to use
he thought that it would keep a woman in line
and to them ' it was just fine'.

he did not think, nor did he care
if to his wife, it was fair.
he broke her nose
and fractured her ribs
because she refused to give
the sex that he so desired
just to satisfy his inner fire.

he thought that she was something
that he could use, as he felt fit.
til the day that she opened up her mind
and decided that it was time
to stop this physical abuse
for crying, was of no use.

so when he came home after
drinking that night, and started his routine fight
she was prepared for his attack
and she was ready to fight back.

when he raised his hand to strike
she then showed a 12 inch knife.

'touch me again and you will see
that you'll be part of history.'

he lowered his hand in dismay
she knew then-she could not stay.
the following day she packed her things
and on the dresser, left her ring.


(leave him after the first time
for there is no dividing line.
he will continue his attacks
then there'll be no turning back)

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Pretty Darned Smart

She was quiet and shy, a naive little thing
An invisible girl, a puppet on a string
Sleepwalking through life

No big plans, goals, or dreams
She didn't feel special, or pretty, or smart
But when she was alone, she would sing from her heart

Her voice was pleasant, but no one ever knew
And neither did she, she hadn't a clue
She had two older sisters, and they all shared a room

With bunk beds, in a room, that was designed just for two
As the youngest of three, she'd no bed of her own
Yes it's true, though not fair, what's a little sister to do

But....In this rectangular two-sister-bedroom's far corner
Was the door to a storage room, just the right size for one boarder
Where an old metal bed, abandoned by older brother

Held hand-me-down-clothing, that first was one's, then another's
The best part of all, was the old pink-painted wardrobe
The bed tarnished and rusty, wardrobe mirrors smudged and quite dusty

She buffed out a circle in the mirror, and saw her reflection
Inspired, she asked Mother, who had no objection
Staking claim on this space, she started to clean

A large job for a small girl, not quite yet a preteen
She moved boxes and mopped, and she sang as she cleaned
Semi-done, the bed, windows, wardrobe mirrors, fairly gleamed

She washed curtains, re-hung them, tied them back with some string
Put on line-dried fresh bed linens and a grandma-made bed quilt
Looked around, very pleased with her own room she had(kind of) built

Glimpsed herself in the mirror of wardrobe ancient and pink
Found her reflection delightful, her self-esteem to rethink
She'd made a plan, had worked hard, and achieved her objective

She felt pretty darned smart, and in her heart, quietly festive
Sunshine danced through her room, dust specks waltzing in sunbeams
She began to twirl in her own sunlight, and to sing out her dreams

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Introducing... Me!

I am the woman who was the girl who thought she was alone.
The same girl that pretended to be the life of our group to stay on top.
The girl who was everyone's friend even though I did not like myself very much.

I was the girl who thought that love only came in one form.
So I used it to my advantage and ended up scorned.
I was the girl that found herself in trouble too deep to be fished out.
I was the girl who grew up too fast with no way out.

I had to grow, so that I might learn to be the mother I needed to be.
I was the girl who was a child-mother with only my own mother there for me.
The girl who was afraid to pout who had to be always brave.
The girl who felt as if I never got but only gave.
I was the girl who made all her own choices and stood up to take responsibility.
I was the girl who told the world how dare you judge her because of me.

Now I am the woman who, will fight the very devil for my childrens lives.
I fought him for two of my babies and won, my fourth in God's arms lay.
I am the woman who will stand up and shout for what I believe.
The woman who learned the hard way there is no reprieve.

I am the woman who finally learned how to love herself.
And in doing so found true love at last.
I am the woman who is the life of the party now.
The woman that has few real friends, but they matter more then they did then.

I am the woman who can cry and know it will be alright.
I am the woman who can say,
I am beautiful today.

If not for one woman who was there to help show me how.
I would not be the woman standing here now.
My Mother is the woman in me who I long to be.
My Mother is the woman I emmulate and hope my girls will come to be like.
She is stronger then Breast Cancer. Stronger then Divorce.
Stronger then all the trials I put her through.
If she were not here today what would I do?

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You and Me. I laugh. (what you do to yourself)

You are you,
And I am me,
But you came to me,
And my friends,
You came into our arms,
when you were new,
Then you found THEM,
You left us for them,
You went to their side.
I look at you now and I laugh.
Not because your weird,
Or your dumb,
But because of your future.
I am me,
I know where i am in life.
I know my plan for the future,
I know I want to go to college,
And then graduate,
And be successful,
I know I have friends who really care and love me,
I work to get what I want,
I don't wait for it to be given to me,
Or wait to loose the chance of earning it,
Like you.
I don't go out and party all night,
I don't get laid whenever i want,
I don't blow off homework,
Or set it off till later,
I do it then and there,
I get it out of the way,
Then I go out and have fun with my friends,
Yet i do not drink,
I do not get high,
I keep my mind safe,
I save the memories I make,
I don't throw them away.
Like you.
So I do not laugh at your cloths,
I do not laugh at you,
I laugh at your future,
I laugh at your choices and thoughts,
I laugh at your ideas of having fun.
Wasting your mind,
Wasting your life,
Forgetting and loosing your memories,
Wasting your money,
Wasting your friendships,
wasting your time,
This is your fun,
This is your life.
Keeping my mind,
Keeping my life,
Remembering and keeping my memories,
Saving my money,
Cherishing my friendships,
Using my time for friendship family and love,
This is my fun,
This is my life.
I laugh at you.
Someday I will read about in the paper or see you on the news,
I will see a mug shot,
Or hear about your 'untimely' death,
See you on the street,
Steeling from a store,
Or dressed in gold and diamonds that you bought with money you didn't earn,
and I will laugh.
I will be the one with the baby on my hip,
The loving husband by my side,
The home of a modest family,
I good job,
And friends,
I will be the one who is truly happy,
I will be the successful one,
I will be the one who is truly rich,
I will be the one who is free,
Not running from the world,
Or trying to run ahead of it,
I will be the one with the sense of mind,
And modesty,
I will be the one who helps by doing what i can,
Not being who I can't.
I will be the one with a life,
I will be the one who is famous,
Not you.
You dont have to be in the news,
Or have lots of money,
Or know the 'right people',
to be famous,
You may have money,
And the press following you,
But I will be more rich then you,
I will have the life you don't have,
I will have a family who loves me for me,
I will have a job I love and that keeps me going,
I will have true friends who go through anything with me.
I will be rich.
So you come to me and my friends,
Looking for refuge,
Until you find THEM,
Then you leave and through your life away.
And as I pass the path you now walk,
I look and I think of what you're doing,
I think of who you are now,
I think of what you have become,
and I laugh.

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Room For The Life

Hey there, you lady in tears,
Do you think that they care if theyre real, woman?
They just take it as part of the deal.
Lost in your men and the games you play.
Trying to prove that youre better, woman.
But you neednt get heavy with them.
Like it or not, we were built tough,
Because were woman.
No, we never die for long,
While weve got that little life
To live for, where its hid inside.
No, we never die for long,
Oh! woman, two in one,
Theres room for a life in your womb, woman,
Inside of you can be two, woman,
Theres room for a life in your womb, woman,
Mama woman, aha!
Night after night in the quiet house,
Plaiting her hair by the fire, woman,
With no lover to free her desire,
How long do you think she can stick it out?
How long do you think before shell go out, woman?
Hey! get up on your feet and go get it, now.
Like it or not, we keep bouncing back,
Because were woman.
No, we never die for long,
While weve got that little life
To live for, where its hid inside.
Oh! woman, two in one,
Theres room for a life in your womb, woman,
Inside of you can be two, woman,
Theres room for a life in your womb, woman,
Mama woman, aha!
A-mama-woma-mama-woman-aha!
A-mama-woma-mama-woman-aha!
Oh, mama-woman, two-in-a-one, aha!
Oh, two in one, aha!
Oh, woman! woman! woman! woman!
Theres room for a life in your womb!
Theres room for a life in your womb!
Two in one, aha!
Two in one! two in one! two in one!
Room for a life in your womb.

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Life

l have been through alot these past years
It was tough and challenge along the way
I think that's how
Life
Going be for you one day or you already going through it
Whatever choices you make sure it right one
It don't happen over night
Just take your time and think through it
It been rollercoaster for me
I'm letting my fears get in my way
I need to figure something out about my
Life
I don't know what yet
I'm still lost and confused
I'm on a path that I keep going back and forth to wrong places, people and you
I feel like
Life
Is over for me because I don't learn my mistake after mistakes
I become someone I don't like
I miss being this girl
Now I don't know who she is
Life
Have alot of bumps in road and
Have friends there to help you along way
My head is spinning
Whatever come in your way be ready and prepared for tough times
Just hold on and be strong
Life
Is reality
Not fanasty you dream about that will happen
Wake up and realized this is real world
Time to face no matter what
Life

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My heart beat

It all seems like today
Ages have passed by…

My heart missed a beat
When I first saw you
When you stretched out your hand
When you spoke to me first
When you said you look good
When you stood talking for hours
My heart missed a beat

My heart missed a beat
When I met you
When we started dating
When we went on shopping
When we spent time in each other’s company
When we were in each other’s arms
My heart missed a beat

My heart missed a beat
When I wanted to say something
When you found that life was miserable
When you thought I should live with you
When you enjoyed my company
When you proposed to me
My heart missed a beat

My heart missed a beat
When I felt your love
When we first had a talk
When we had a long walk
When we never heard the waves on the shore
When we knew we loved each other
My heart missed a leap

My heart missed a leap
When I lost words
When you found them for me
When you touched me first
When you blew in my ears
When you kissed me first
My heart missed a beat


My heart missed a beat
When I saw the ring
When we decided
When we finalized things
When we knew everything was fine
When we heard the revolt
My heart missed a beat

My heart missed a beat
When I saw you parents
When you said your mother’s decision
When you were thinking twice
When you wanted to satisfy both
When your thoughts wavered
My heart missed a beat

My heart missed a beat
When I understood you
When we decided to go ahead
When we said this is the right time
When we told our friends
When we held hands
My heart missed a beat

My heart missed a beat
When I became your wife
When you were all to myself
When you said you love me lots
When you and your mother accepted me
When you became my world
My heart missed a beat

My heart missed a beat
When I knew a life in me
When we realized the fact
When we understood our culmination’s fruit
When we were to be too proud
When we heard a heart in me
My heart missed a beat

My heart missed a beat
When I first heard them cry
When you saw with sparkling eyes our babies
When you said they resemble me
When you said I am now a proud father of two
When you said I love you for this
My heart missed a beat

My heat missed a beat
When I heard them call me mom
When we were proud parents
When we shared happy moments
When we saw them grow
When we heard good things about them
My heart missed a beat

My heart missed a beat
When I knew it was time for marriages again
When you said just both of us now
When you saw me with love
When you said you look young still
When you whispered I love you
My heart missed a beat

You are a part of me
Even in our ripe old age
My heart beats only for you from day one
The day yours stop so will mine stop
For my heart beats only for you…

It all seems like today
Ages have passed by…

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My Life Is Over With You

(clarke / hicks)
You wanna explain, thats why you called
Save your breath it doesnt matter at all,
Not now, my friend
You played your cards, and you made your choice
I dont wanna listen to your voice,
Not now, my friend
Ive found a new part to play in life
Theres different actors on my stage
Ill set the pace in a world without you
I dont wanna hear the things that you say
cos my life is over with you
Now you know whats on my mind
Dont call again cos you will find
I wont be here
You chose your path to walk along
Now I can sing a different song
I hope thats clear
Chorus
Ive found a new part to play in life
Theres different actors on my stage
Good bye, my love, and dont feel sad
Just because Im feeling glad
That youre not here
Youll go your way and Ill go mine
Maybe well meet some other time
Goodbye, my love
Chorus

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Stories Of Hope Series #11 Adopted Child

The child was brought into this world
By an un wanting mother, did not have
any family, no sisters, no brothers.
But was adopted from birth by a woman
Who was seeking a child, and didn’t
Have any of her own for quite awhile.

This child was loved, like he could never know
Because as a mother her love she did show.
Never had a need or want for anything in life
Never knew about the mothers struggles or strife.

The child at times would question as to why
he was from a one parent family.
She told him that it was the way she wanted it to be.
She loved this child more than life itself
And in her heart this child would dwell.

Then one day before high school graduation
He had needed papers of when and where
He was born documentation.
He knew his mother kept the important
Papers in a metal box- which was always kept locked.

He found the key to the box, and opened it
Up with care, and with his mother the reason
He would share.
He found an envelope dated 1/29/92
Which was his birth date, that much he knew.

He opened the envelope and saw the heading
“ certificate of birth” on the first paper he took out.
As he opened it up and started to read
Where it said parents names, was blank as can be.

He waited for his mother to get home
And then the papers would be shown.
When she got home he asked her why there was no names?
She put her head down and said: she was to blame.
You see: you was left on the hospital steps
With a note attached to you blanket saying:
“She could not take care of you
And this was the best that she could do.”

Being a nurse in that hospital, I fell in love with you
And I went through the process to adopt you.
I have loved you from the start, and you’ve
Filled my soul and heart.
No one can love you more than I
And I will love you till the day I die.

The tears started rolling down her face
And he kissed her tears away.
He said: you are the only mother I have ever known
And because of you, I have a family.
“ that could never change for me”.

I’m so sorry that I never told you my son
And for any hurt that I may have done.
I just wanted to protect you
That is all I wanted to do.

They both shed their tears, and comforted their fears.
He said: I decided that I would go to the court of records
And change it for all to see, that you are
The only mother for me.

On his birth certificate they attached a stipulation
Which read: this woman became his mother from
The moment that he was found
And this case has become world renown.

Because of the hope she had in her heart
Her and her son got a brand new start.

HOPE IS THE KEY TO SET YOURSELF FREE

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The Changes of Life

Life as you know it can change,
Life can change in a second,
Life how humans know it is hard,
Harder than anything else you will have to face

We can make our lives into whatever we want,
We can make it good or bad,
You have control of the path,
You may think life can not get worse,
But it can always get worse

Chose the path you will take wisely,
If you chose thhe wrong path,
You can always change with hard work,
You can change yourself,
Hard work is the key to use

Life can be good or bad,
Life wll change as you grow older,
You will hhave to go throw a lot of stuff,
Life can end in a second,
So enjy what you have

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A woman

A woman
Is a mother
A daughter & a wife
The only one to play
Three roles in one life
Full of love & affection
Concern & compassion
Patience & determination
Does
Everything for her child
A woman's heart
Is filled with passion
Suffers more
But complains less
Than men
When it comes to
Self-respect
She can fight like a tiger
A woman
Is no less than a man
Can do all that
The man does
08-03-2012
325-59-03-12
(Poem On International Women's day)

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Losing Everything

All I need is you by my side,
Hugging is what I need,
A mother that cares,
Is what I miss.
I need you more than ever,
But, I will never get that.
You were taken for a reason,
Now I know what that reason was,
God needed more wonderful angels.
You were the best they could have ask for,
Everything thing and more.
You knew how to make people smile,
I know I got that from you.
Everything that I am is a part of you.
You know that is true.
You always said I was your twin.
Spreading all of that tough love around.
We were always the closest friend.
Even in the end.
Life goes on,
Same with the pain.
You were everything,
No wonder I’m here questioning,
Why so soon?
I will never get the answer I’m looking for,
But, remembering I had a mother like you.
Makes me lucky to even get to know you.
I was a lucky girl.
One who will never be the same.
Changed in a blink of an eye.
All because I lost you.
But, I shouldn’t let it end there.
You will always live on,
Because without you,
I wouldn’t made it this far,
You told me to follow my dreams,
But, that became harder.
You had so much hope,
You knew I won’t give up.
You knew I love a challenge,
But, giving you up, was the biggest challenge.
I know if I can pass that, I can pass a lot of things.
If only I can believe in myself as much as you did.
You were always smart in so many ways.
Now I know where I got that from.
You were always the best role model to have.
I just wished it didn’t have to end so soon.
But, more time wouldn’t change a thing.
I would have still missed you the same.
I just wish for a good-bye.
I don’t know why,
I think it would have made a different.
To show I cared,
Now we just got to deal.
Copyright © 2008
11-04-08

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I Found Myself

(5/28/12)

I found myself all alone and not one heart had I ever known
For my heart had turned to stone.
I thought that everything in life I would achieve if
I depended solely on me.

That I would need no family or friends
Because I'd reach my goal in the end.
My thought was that when you depend on someone else
They would always hinder you, to a point you wouldn't
Know just what to do.

I did not want love to kick me in the tail
And then with my goals I would fail.
I did not want these so called friends
Who would turn their backs in the end.

I used every excuse that I could find
Till my heart had become cold and blind.
Then I met a woman who was the same as me
Ruthless, uncaring and cold, she was twenty five
Years of age, and on her -life turned the page.

I looked at her and what I saw -was a mirror of me
Because I closed all doors.
I was really turning my back on all of life
And all that life could give
by closing up my heart and not learning to live.

I found my self questioning all my decisions
That I had made, and if people hated me
Then I was to blame.
I knew right then that I would have to change my ways
And the way that I did think, and still get everything.

I asked forgiveness from family and friends
And if they would support me once again.
They all smiled and gave me a hug and a kiss
Which was something that I had missed
Now I found myself with a new outlook on life
And things are now twice as nice.

SMILE! Things could be so much worse.

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Back In Time

Last night; I went back in time
To see my wife if we never had met
I saw my ways, and my upcoming days
And my soul, was full of regret.
She wasn't there, but was in my prayer
As I surveyed the new life that I lived
And I walked alone, in my empty home
As my love for her I couldn't give.
I looked for her, and she couldn't be found
Last night when I went back in time,
So I searched her world, left nothing unfurled
But for her, nothing about her could I find.
So without me she took another path
Because then we had never met
But I stayed on that road, until I died old
Because no other woman in my heart would I let.
Then I had my thought when I awoke from my dream
And my woman she couldn't be found
So I closed my eyes and I sat down to cry
As my world was flipped upside down.
I remember now that she had left me
To be in the arms of another man
She was my love my life, my woman my wife
Now she's holding another mans heart and hand.
Why she left me; GOD will only know
But the love I felt once will never be mine,
I did nothing wrong, just loved her to strong,
Now again I wish, to go back in time.


Randy L. McClave

poem by Randy McClaveReport problemRelated quotes
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You're Made That Way

Michael mcdonald / jeffrey baxter / keith knudsen
Who are you
Where you been
How'd you come into my life
I just know once you get started
Girl, i been throwin' my heart in
You're just like walkin' in a danger zone
A chance i just had to take
You're like a drink i needed so bad and found
If no one pulled my head back in time, i would drown
Oh, i get lost in your eyes
I crossed the line for you so long ago
Now i find truth in your lies
You got me cornered with my back to the wall
Takes all i've got just to hold on
Through all the disappointment
Love still remains
Darling, you're made that way
Girl, you're made that way
"you were just a lonely man
Living through your empty plans"
I know you're made that way
I know you're made that way
Say it please
Say you will
Come back and be in my life
Girl, if you just put your heart in it
No one could stop us once we get started
Well, i get tired of living for your applause
And putting my happiness in your hands
Well, i don't know what you're expecting of me
What you want for me to be, i will be
I know you're made that way
I know you're made that way

song performed by by Doobie BrothersReport problemRelated quotes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Path

as i walk the lonely path call life
am being hit with many pot holes called enemies,
who wants to tear me apart.
my life is a struggle,
with my past hitting me very hard,
making my future unclear to see through.
with no one to help me explain,
all i no am walking this lonely path.
with the dawn slowly fading,
slowly my future drift away.
support was never in the picture
especially in the family nor my friends.
everything i have achieve is due to streets smart
and learning from people mistakes.
friend came along due to money and my success
but when the trouble shift in
i was left alone to suffer,
down to the curve i had no friends.
i am standing in a four entries road
wondering where is north.
need a fresh start on this lonely
but until i haven't make up my mind
i am walking a lonely path call life

poem by Donavan AvrilReport problemRelated quotes
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The Lonely Path

One one lonely Lonely lonely one Lonely lonely Londoner I am very very lonely Loneliness is killing me in a lonely path I am frustrated Lonely at heart At the lonely path of London street, i walk on a lonely path The path that is wide is noisy very busy The lonely path is the narrow path very peaceful We all want peace

poem by Olayemi AyoReport problemRelated quotes
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