Shrek the Doorman
Twenty stone
six foot four
he's the bouncer
on the door.
Broken nose
tattooed neck
nicknamed Ogre
or Mr Shrek.
If your drunk
he'll chuck you out
and if your gobby
you'll get a clout.
He used to wrestle
used to box
weapon hidden
down his socks.
Dangerous man
is Mr Shrek
giant head
on massive neck.
So behave yourself
in the Ogre's place
or you may get knocked
into outer space!
poem by Kevin Halls
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
The Ogre
The ogre has round beady eyes
Children beware do not stare
Or he'll gobble you up
quick as a flash
You must make haste and dash
The ogre is twenty feet high
When he walks with his head in the sky
He swallows all the aeroplanes that go by
The ogre is a menace
He eats up little children with names like Cyril or Dennis
CHILDREN BEWARE THE OGRE.
poem by Margaret Beil
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Ogre Slam-The-Door
There is a certain castle that is beautiful and fair,
And plants, and birds, and pretty things, fill every room and hall,
But alas! for the unhappy folks who make their dwelling there,
A dreadful ogre haunts the house and tries to kill them all.
Some day I fear will find them dead and stretched out in their gore
The victims of this ogre grim, this wicked Slam-the-door!
He's a very tiny ogre just about as tall as you!
He never carries hidden arms, or plays with guns and knives.
And yet he almost splits the heads of people thro' and thro.'
And I think him very dangerous to comfort and to lives.
And he often shakes the castle from the ceiling to the floor.
This awful, awful ogre known as little Slam-the-door.
He gets up bright and early, and he's, oh, so wide awake!
And wo! to all the sleepy heads and invalids who doze,
They dream the sky is caving in, or that a vast earthquake
Has suddenly convulsed the world and ended their repose,
As to and fro, and up and down, still noisier than before,
They hear the hurrying, flurrying feet of ogre Slam-the-door.
Though the Princess of the Castle has a headache, and is ill,
Though the Prince is in his study and wants quiet for an hour,
This wicked little ogre won't be quiet-or keep still
I almost think he sometimes knows he has them in his power.
Alas, alas for all the folks, their sorrows I deplore-
The folks shut in that castle with the ogre Slam-the-door.
poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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Up To My Neck In You
Well Ive been up to my neck in trouble
Up to my neck in strife
Up to my neck in misery
For most of my life
Ive been a fool
And you know what a fool can do
Im telling you
You came along when I needed you
Now Im up, Im up to my neck in you
And Ive been up to my neck in pleasure
Up to my neck in pain
Ive been up to my neck on the railroad track
Waitin for the train
To cruise on through
Well baby my time is due
Oh its way overdue
You came along and you pulled me through
Now Im up, up to my neck in you
Well Ive been up to my neck in whiskey
Ive been up to my neck in wine
Ive been up to my neck in wishing
That this neck wasnt mine
I was a loser
You werent lost
Baby you were too good, too good to be true
What youve got no one else could do
Now Im up, Im up to my neck in you
Yeah you came along when I needed you
Oh Im up to my neck in you
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Robert Fulton Tanner
If a man could bite the giant hand
That catches and destroys him,
As I was bitten by a rat
While demonstrating my patent trap,
In my hardware store that day.
But a man can never avenge himself
On the monstrous ogre Life.
You enter the room--that's being born;
And then you must live--work out your soul,
Aha! the bait that you crave is in view:
A woman with money you want to marry,
Prestige, place, or power in the world.
But there's work to do and things to conquer--
Oh, yes! the wires that screen the bait.
At last you get in--but you hear a step:
The ogre, Life, comes into the room,
(He was waiting and heard the clang of the spring)
To watch you nibble the wondrous cheese,
And stare with his burning eyes at you,
And scowl and laugh, and mock and curse you,
Running up and down in the trap,
Until your misery bores him.
poem by Edgar Lee Masters
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The Innocence Of Innocence
So tiny
The little hands
Holding my shrek-like hands firmly
She doesn't wanna be carried anymore
Crawl, crawl, fall, walk, run, the world to explore
Suddenly door bangings and boy dramas
Suddenly a silent sound, her heart hitting the ground
Suddenly identity crisis, clique mentality
Suddenly three-faced, one for mom and dad
One for the world
One, who am I?
Suddenly....
She used to play naked in the rain
She used to love cereal and biscuit
....She was so tiny
...With no care in the world
...But suddenly...
She's all alone...mom, dad died...
The world defined love as sex
The lungs that awoke her mum in the middle of night's sleep
Now nags the man she loves in the middle of love's death
She was small...the world was big
After burying so many dreams
She buried herself
The world got to her
The neatest view of a soul
Found in the eyes of a child
The cleanest room of mankind
Found in the mind of a child
No sooner hath the child begun to walk
Doth the world begin to dump its junk
On the most naïve creature
Naiveté oh naivete!
The things I long to un-know
The words I long to un-hear
The visions I long to un-see
The deeds I wish to undo
The phrases I wish to unsay
The right to smoke
The right to drink
The right to cheat
The right to sin
What happened to those tiny hands?
Lost somewhere in eternity, as shrek-like hands
Never fails to give a shrek for a shrek
If ever my friend, your memory lets you stroll down its lane
Find the innocence of innocence...
And rebirth it.
poem by Jenim Dibie
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Utter Space
I come from outer space at least I think I do
I need a change of pace thats why I walk with you
Its a change up-left-one-two
In outer space
Ive had a change of heart Im tired of being the best
I need another part to make an educated guess
And help me pass the test
In outer space
In outer space
In outer space
I come from outer space at least I think I do
I need another face I need one just like you
Its a change up-left-one-two
In outer space
In outer space
In outer space
The space
Outer space
The space
In outer space
song performed by by Men Without Hats
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shrek is not like anything anybody has ever seen before.
quote by Jeffrey Katzenberg
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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So they ended up turning this little twenty eight page book into the movie. And it's all about this stinky, smelly ogre who doesn't care what anybody thinks of him.
quote by Mike Myers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Looking For A Prince
A spirited girl
With long blonde hair, long legs to match.
Her clear eyes untroubled
Waiting on the cusp of life
For prince charming to appear,
Appear and whisk her off,
Off to his mansion in the sky.
So fall in love she did,
In love with a tall dark man,
A man of swarthy skin.
With eyes so deep,
Deep blue eyes in which to swim
And see the oceans depths.
But then came the babies one, two, three.
Money grew tight and she grew thin
And love flew out the door.
The prince turned into an ogre
Making her blue eyes black.
Now her spirit is knocked out
And she knocked up
Is knocked about
And the prince?
He's nowhere to be seen.
poem by Paul Brookes
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Fire
I break the melted popsicle sticks and start the show
Push me in the fire, as you punish my soul
I thought it was funny when the hungry would break
Blew off every miracle I saw as a fake
Show me something positive, I'll show you its flaw
Try to preach your ministry, I'll shatter your jaw
Try bringing the heat, I feel the heat on my face
Don't you start me off with a taste of the ogre's...
Fire, baby!
Don't you know who we are?
Fire baby!
Bye, bye, bye, bye, boy!
Fire, baby!
Don't you know where you are?
Fire, baby!
Bye, bye, bye, bye, boy!
Tighter than a snake can wrap itself 'round your neck
Watch preying mantis eat a hole in your back
You can see the stories so he created the truth
So much goes invisible, seen only by you
You can see me 'cause when you stare at the sun
All i did to figure out, but who makes it run?
Steady pushin' barrel to the back of my head
Anything to keep the ogre happy is enough for me
Fire, baby!
Don't you know who we are?
Fire baby!
Bye, bye, bye, bye, boy!
Fire, baby!
Don't you know where you are?
Fire, baby!
Bye, bye, bye, bye, boy!
I remember hearing all you voodoo doctors pray for rivers
Hours later comes the thunder
Raining showers he delivers
Pheasants fighting through the rain
They're happy that it's finally falling
Tried and true
He's there for you again
But you don't here him calling
Pause your life for mischief
And the mischief becomes life itself
Before you know it
Skin is wrinkled
Teeth are falling like your health
And what to do?
And where to turn?
And who to blame?
And where to go?
You feel the demons pulling at your bod
song performed by by Zug Izland
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Slime Creatures From Outer Space
Things just havent been the same
Since the flying saucer came
Now the aliens are on the loose
Well, we tried to hold em back
Tried to ward off their attack
But our atom bombs were just no use
They were ugly, they were mean
Biggest heads I ever seen
They made everybody scream and shout
First they leveled tokyo
Then new york was next to go
Boy I really wish theyd cut it out
They wasted everybody on my block
There goes the neighborhood
Theyll zap you with their death ray eyes
And blow you up real good
Run for your lives
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
Theyre not very nice to the human race
(slime creatures from outer space)
Theres more comin every day
And they just wont go away
Now theyre reproducing in the sewers
They got slimy lizard skin
And an evil lookin grin
And they sure could use some manicures
They got hands all covered with fungus
They got eyes like some kinda bug
I sure hope they dont come in here
I just shampooed the rug
Run for your lives
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
Theyre really makin a mess of this place.
(slime creatures)
(slime creatures)
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
Theyll rip your head off just for fun
Theyll paralyze your mind
Theyre wearin out their welcome
I dont think I like their kind
Theyll suck your brain out through a straw
You just cant trust those guys
So hide the children, lock the doors
And always watch the skies
Look out, here come the
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
Theyre an intergalactic disgrace
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
I wish theyd just get outta my face
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
Theyre makin a big fat mess of this place
(slime creatures)
(slime creatures)
Oh, where did they come from?
What do they want from us?
Who do they think they are?
(slime creatures, slime creatures)
Why dont they leave me alone?
(slime creatures, slime creatures.)
Theyre really getting on my nerves
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bon conseil aux amants
L'amour fut de tout temps un bien rude Ananké.
Si l'on ne veut pas être à la porte flanqué,
Dès qu'on aime une belle, on s'observe, on se scrute ;
On met le naturel de côté ; bête brute,
On se fait ange ; on est le nain Micromégas ;
Surtout on ne fait point chez elle de dégâts ;
On se tait, on attend, jamais on ne s'ennuie,
On trouve bon le givre et la bise et la pluie,
On n'a ni faim, ni soif, on est de droit transi ;
Un coup de dent de trop vous perd. Oyez ceci :
Un brave ogre des bois, natif de Moscovie,
Etait fort amoureux d'une fée, et l'envie
Qu'il avait d'épouser cette dame s'accrut
Au point de rendre fou ce pauvre coeur tout brut :
L'ogre, un beau jour d'hiver, peigne sa peau velue,
Se présente au palais de la fée, et salue,
Et s'annonce à l'huissier comme prince Ogrousky.
La fée avait un fils, on ne sait pas de qui.
Elle était ce jour-là sortie, et quant au mioche,
Bel enfant blond nourri de crème et de brioche,
Don fait par quelque Ulysse à cette Calypso,
Il était sous la porte et jouait au cerceau.
On laissa l'ogre et lui tout seuls dans l'antichambre.
Comment passer le temps quand il neige en décembre.
Et quand on n'a personne avec qui dire un mot ?
L'ogre se mit alors à croquer le marmot.
C'est très simple. Pourtant c'est aller un peu vite,
Même lorsqu'on est ogre et qu'on est moscovite,
Que de gober ainsi les mioches du prochain.
Le bâillement d'un ogre est frère de la faim.
Quand la dame rentra, plus d'enfant. On s'informe.
La fée avise l'ogre avec sa bouche énorme.
As-tu vu, cria-t-elle, un bel enfant que j'ai ?
Le bon ogre naïf lui dit : Je l'ai mangé.
Or, c'était maladroit. Vous qui cherchez à plaire,
Jugez ce que devint l'ogre devant la mère
Furieuse qu'il eût soupé de son dauphin.
Que l'exemple vous serve ; aimez, mais soyez fin ;
Adorez votre belle, et soyez plein d'astuce ;
N'allez pas lui manger, comme cet ogre russe,
Son enfant, ou marcher sur la patte à son chien.
poem by Victor Hugo
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Since we made Shrek in the digital format, you actually can see it in its purest form digitally.
quote by Jeffrey Katzenberg
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Ever So Tall Giant!
The farmer was busy ploughing,
With three fields left to do,
When a figure overpowering
Came suddenly in view...
The giant stepped across the gap
In seconds so it seemed,
The farmer thought he'd had a nap
And this whole thing was dreamed...
The farmer blinked yet stood his ground,
The giant's shadow loomed,
The giant's voice a booming sound...
The farmer thought, 'I'm doomed! '
'Don't be afraid, it's only me! '
The giant said amazed,
The farmer gulped quite suddenly,
For he was feeling dazed...
The giant smiled a lovely smile,
No bad thoughts on his mind,
The farmer stared up for a while,
His neck somewhat inclined...
'I'm from another planet, friend!
Just visiting, that's all...'
'Good God, will wonders never end?
How did you get so tall? '
'I'm only tall on planet Earth!
At home, I'm normal size!
I exercise for all I'm worth
And study so I'm wise...'
The farmer groaned, he'd hurt his neck!
'Your poor neck must feel numb!
I know I'm tall, but what the heck!
Wait till you meet my Mum! '
Denis Martindale, copyright, September 2012.
poem by Denis Martindale
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The First Dream
The Wind is ghosting around the house tonight
and as I lean against the door of sleep
I begin to think about the first person to dream,
how quiet he must have seemed the next morning
as the others stood around the fire
draped in the skins of animals
talking to each other only in vowels,
for this was long before the invention of consonants.
He might have gone off by himself to sit
on a rock and look into the mist of a lake
as he tried to tell himself what had happened,
how he had gone somewhere without going,
how he had put his arms around the neck
of a beast that the others could touch
only after they had killed it with stones,
how he felt its breath on his bare neck.
Then again, the first dream could have come
to a woman, though she would behave,
I suppose, much the same way,
moving off by herself to be alone near water,
except that the curve of her young shoulders
and the tilt of her downcast head
would make her appear to be terribly alone,
and if you were there to notice this,
you might have gone down as the first person
to ever fall in love with the sadness of another.
poem by Billy Collins
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The White Ogre
Shifty looks
A tempest brewing
Snake slithering
under white knotty skin
ready to spring
A giant ogre
eyeing me menacingly
through slits
as cold as ice
Poisonous looks
barring me entry
Deadly pale
concealing the rage
burning inside.
(February 7,2004 / Philippines)
poem by Tricia Mae Chua
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I had done Shrek as a Canadian and I'm very proud to be Canadian, but I knew I could give more to it.
quote by Mike Myers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Neck On Up
I gave the girls the eye
Ive given lust a try
Im just an average guy
From the neck on down
I used to have my fun
When all was said and done
I only wanted someone
From the neck on down
Maybe its one too many mornings after
Maybe Im sick of my own nervous laughter
Now Im looking for heaven
From the neck on up
For a perfect eleven
From the neck on up
I was a typical man
I had a master plan
I thought that heaven began
From the waist on down
And I had always said
That I could use my head
But I was thinking instead
From the waist on down
Maybe its one too many frozen shoulders or
Maybe I havent noticed getting older
Trapped in a dream
Something has to change in this endless stream
Of ships that pass in the night
Is this what I want out of life?
I want to know what this game is about
I want someone to try and figure me out
I cant determine why
But Im a different guy
Your modus operandi
Turned me inside out
Its not that I dont care
About your fine hardware
But youve got something else there
I cant figure out
Maybe I just cant finish what Ive started or
Maybe its simply that Ive been outsmarted
Now Ive found my heaven
From the neck on up
Youre a perfect eleven
From the neck on up
song performed by by Utopia
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Horse and rider
To lean forward in the saddle,
the reins slackened for a while,
to lean forward towards its ear,
its ear concerned with more immediate things,
across the muscled, tendoned neck
so much more a neck than human neck
with the urge to whisper some unformulated words
arising beyond a language, in the heart,
concerning some so briefly,
so deeply now perceived
of some equality hidden in humility
holding horse and rider
in some ancient bond of trust,
perhaps of love.
poem by Michael Shepherd
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