Heaven’s Broadway Smash
Hit ‘Funny Bones’ skeleton
Audience rattle laughs!
haiku by Ken e Hall
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The Skeleton Dance
The moon is on the graveyard,
The night is cool and still,
The wind blows gently,
Yes it blows where it will,
And the slightest sound,
From a place that's unknown,
Come do the skeleton dance,
And rattle my bones.
Do the skeleton dance
Jingle jangle bones,
Do the skeleton dance
All the way back home,
Do the skeleton dance
When you're all alone,
Do the skeleton dance
When you're done with your bones.
See the eyes of a werewolf,
Staring back at you,
A dozen or two skeletons,
Make up the rest of the crew,
The zombies stumble around,
Looking for their brains,
Ghost float like a mist,
And its about to rain.
Do the skeleton dance
Jingle jangle bones,
Do the skeleton dance
All the way back home,
Do the skeleton dance
When you're all alone,
Do the skeleton dance
When you're done with your bones.
The devil takes off his skin,
And plays the xylophone,
God plays the piano,
On a stool made of bone,
Jesus lights a lantern,
Buddha counts to three,
They all form a circle,
To do the skeleton dance with me.
poem by Blaine McCanless
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Skeletons love musicals
Rattle with laughter seeing
Favourite 'Funny Bones'
haiku by Ken e Hall
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Own Way
(I saw)
I saw you at the airace yesterday,
April showers get out of my way.
Fear of flying no not me.
Im never bothered what you say
Someones kid just lives for today
It aint your problem anyway
cos Ive got my own way
I can find my own way
cos Ive got my own way
Hay yay yay yay yay ya-hay
(chrous)
(no. 1)
Public figure, what a pain
Just puts another rattle in your brain
Take another green but its not the same
Now youre on the sandlane everyday
Dancing with the bulls in any old way
Running like a fox to keep up with me.
(chorus) (chorus)
-
Im on 45th, between 6th & broadway
7up, between 6th & broadway
(chorus) (chorus)
Yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh
Hey now, be there
Hmmm busy
This is how I like it
Yes, settle down
Yes, come on, 6th & broadway
Say the words, come coolin down.
song performed by by Duran Duran
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shake Me And I Rattle
I was driving to work
when I heard this curious rattle.
For the life of me,
I couldn’t figure it out
where the rattle was coming from.
Every pothole that I hit the rattle was loud,
but on a smooth road, there was no rattle at all.
Finally, I parked the car and got out
and the rattle continued like before.
It didn’t take me long to realise
just where the rattle was coming from.
I was the one who was rattling
from all the pills I’m on.
So the next time we meet,
shake me gently
because I rattle a little bit.
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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On Broadway
They say the neon lights are bright
On Broadway
They say there's always magic
In the air
But when you're walkin' down the street
And you ain't had enough to eat
The glitter rubs right off
And you're nowhere
They say the women treat you fine
On Broadway
But lookin' at them
Just gives me the blues
How ya gonna make some time
When all you got is one thin dime
And one thin dime won't even
Shine your shoes
See [they say?] that I won't last too long
On Broadway
I'll catch a Greyhound bus for home
They all say
But they're dead wrong
I know they are
'Cause I can play this here guitar
I won't quit till I'm a star
On Broadway
On Broadway
On Broadway
Give me that crack
Give me some of that crack
Give me that crack
Ahhhhh
Broadway
song performed by by Neil Young
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Because even at the age of fifteen, I used to go see all the Broadway shows and feel that they were sentimental, that they were pandering to the audience and trying to manipulate the audience. I had no use for practically any of the shows that were hits.
quote by Richard Foreman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Skeletons In The Closet
Woah-oh, woah-oh
Skeletons in my closet
Woah-oh, woah-oh yeah
Skeletons in my closet
Skeletons in my closet
Skeletons in my shoes
Skeletons I can only see
I said woah-oh, woah-oh
I got skeletons in my closet
I said woah-oh, woah-oh yeah
Skeletons in my closet
Skeletons I can lose
Skeletons in my basement
Loitering on my streets
Wearing my best pajamas
Sandwiched between my sheets
I said woah-oh, woah-oh yeah
Skeletons in my closet
I said woah-oh, woah-oh yeah
Skeletons in my closet
Ooh, I see bones
I see bones, icy bones
Ooh, I see bones
Say say bones - say boys don't you see them bones?
Rattle them bones at midnight
Shaking my bed, no sleep
I find fingers in my coat pocket
Skeletons from the deep
I said woah-oh, woah-oh
I got skeletons in my closet
I said woah-oh, woah woah-oh
I got skeletons in my closet
Ooh, I see bones
I see bones, s-see bones
Ooh, I see bones
I see bones
Say boys don't you see them bones?
No?
Heart bones, leg bones, ankle bones, arm bones,
finger bones, dogie bones, head bones
Skeletons in my closet
They even know when I'm in my closet
It's my.. my closet
Not your closet
My closet
You can have it though
Alice we want you
Alice
Alice
A-Alice
What?
Whaddya want
song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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On Broadway
(barry mann/cynthia weil/mike stoller/jerry leiber)
They say the neon lights are bright
On broadway
They say theres always magic in the air
But when youre walkin down that street
And you aint got enough to eat
The glitter rubs right off and youre nowhere
They say the chicks are somethin else
On broadway
But lookin at them just gives me the blues
cause how ya gonna make some time
When all you got is one thin dime
And one thin dime wont even shine your shoes
They say that I wont last too long
On broadway
Ill catch a greyhound bus for home they all say
But theyre dead wrong, I know they are
cause I can play this here guitar
And I wont quit till Im a star
On broadway
But theyre dead wrong, I know they are
cause I can play this here guitar
And I wont quit till Im a star
On broadway
On broadway
Im gonna make it, yeah
On broadway
Ill be a big, big man
On broadway
Ill have my name in lights
On broadway
Everybody gonna know me
On broadway
All up and down broadway
On broadway
song performed by by Eric Carmen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Things are never what they seem
Funny how things are never what they seem
love is and illusive dream, coming and going like the tides of the sea
but like a mystical animal that doesnt exist many still choose to believe
but maybe, some how, some way, love can be discovered
and feelings that have long stayed dormant will be uncovered
the sensation will rattle your bones and fill your soul
and you discover that love is what makes life whole
but until then the emotions shall remain concealed
and love, yet another dream unfulfilled
It seems it only appears to those who believe, who dare to dream
Funny how things are never what they seem
poem by Christopher Grateneau
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Oh! Natural Beauties!
Earth laughs in flowers, flowers laugh in showers,
Sea laughs in fishes, fishes laugh in waters ……
Sky laughs in clouds, clouds laugh in rain, oh sire!
But man laughs in BSNL Towers and what a satire!
Nature is a wonderland; it is heaven's abode with elixir,
Thus, I wonder at this nature’s splendor!
In the garden with heaven’s flowers
Oh nature’s gifts! You are funny little fellows!
Oh natural beauties, you are dainty little dears!
Come! Come near me, Do you hear me, my little fellows!
Nature is a wonderland; it is heaven's abode with elixir,
Thus, I wonder at this nature’s splendor!
The woods are full of faeries!
As The trees are the lovers........
The garden is full of angels without worries!
As the flowers are the lovers.........
Nature is a wonderland; it is heaven's abode with elixir,
Thus, I wonder at this nature’s splendor!
Nature is admirable and inspirable........
Nature instills hope and enlightens us all days;
Being thus prepared for us in all ways with......
Good for food and made our life desirable;
Nature is a wonderland; it is heaven's abode with elixir,
Thus, I wonder at this nature’s splendor!
Let me hire satire! Let me fire human ire
poem by Harindhar Reddy
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The Fury Of Beautiful Bones
Sing me a thrush, bone.
Sing me a nest of cup and pestle.
Sing me a sweetbread fr an old grandfather.
Sing me a foot and a doorknob, for you are my love.
Oh sing, bone bag man, sing.
Your head is what I remember that August
you were in love with another woman but
that didn't matter. I was the guy of your
bones, your fingers long and nubby, your
forehead a beacon, bare as marble and I worried
you like an odor because you had not quite forgotten,
bone bag man, garlic in the North End,
the book you dedicated, naked as a fish,
naked as someone drowning into his own mouth.
I wonder, Mr. Bone man, what you're thinking
of your fury now, gone sour as a sinking whale,
crawling up the alphabet on her own bones.
Am I in your ear still singing songs in the rain,
me of the death rattle, me of the magnolias,
me of the sawdust tavern at the city's edge.
Women have lovely bones, arms, neck, thigh
and I admire them also, but your bones
supersede loveliness. They are the tough
ones that get broken and reset. I just can't
answer for you, only for your bones,
round rulers, round nudgers, round poles,
numb nubkins, the sword of sugar.
I feel the skull, Mr. Skeleton, living its
own life in its own skin.
poem by Anne Sexton
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Broadway
(ian hunter)
Green lights on broadway
All the magic seems to say
Come and ride with me baby you know
Its got to be the greatest show on broadway
Out here on the streets they say
You can see your life in one day
I long I long I long I long I long to hear every single street singer
Oh what a mood that feeling brings
You can capture life in a jar
Chances are that youll find out on broadway
Who you really are
Sitting in a lonely room
Staring through the evening gloom
Shell never make the grade on broadway
Shell never spend exciting nights
Surrounded by a maze of lights
And stars that line the streets on broadway
Broadway
When the neon lights are shining bright
She knows shes going to make it someday
Broadway
You can hear the music of the night
She knows that she will
Broadway
When the neon lights are shining bright
Oh I know shes going to make it some day
Broadway
You can hear the music of the night
I know that she will
I said
Broadway
Oh how I love you how I love you
Broadway
How I love you how I love you
Broadway
Its your show I know I know
But chances are youll find out on broadway
Who you really are
song performed by by Ian Hunter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Off Broadway
Hanging around Broadway, and I think I saw your face
Cars speeding by me, reminding me of us
Shuffle down to the watering hole
Getting tired and I want to go home
I don't know where that is anymore
I don't know where that is anymore
I don't know where that is anymore
I don't know where that is anymore
Used to be off Broadway
I miss your locket, and the way I felt inside
And I just cant stop it, hasn't killed me yet, but give it time
Shuffle down to the watering hole
Getting tired and I want to go home
I don't know where that is anymore
I don't know where that is anymore
I don't know where that is anymore
I don't know where that is anymore
Used to be off Broadway
Used to be off Broadway
Used to be off Broadway
Used to be off Broadway
song performed by by Ryan Adams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Funny Man
Love makes many lose temper
Others get hurt
Some even cry and forget about their existence
Unlike my funny man
He is always happy
Laughing and cracking jokes all the time
Amazing how funny he is
When in trouble he stays calm
He stands still and plans ahead
No time for worries
His presence hinders me from remembering
all snares the world brings
Because of him I refuse to think
the world contains stubborn men
His funny stories never cease
and my happiness will last forever with my funny man
Little by little he is turning me into a funny woman
I can feel the changes in me
There is always a smile on my face
Whenever I talk, he laughs and becomes happier
I know I am his funny woman
What a pleasure to have my funny man around!
poem by Josephine Chifundo Likoya
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Funny Abdul
Abdul has habits all so funny
He eats salt mixed with honey
He puts on a lungi and a coat
Sporting thin beard like a goat
He laughs when he feels sorry
And weeps hearing funny story
Sleeping by day, he wakes night
He reports ghosts he had to fight.
In magazines the stories you read
Abdul a funny man, funny indeed!
poem by Binoy Barman
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Look Out Broadway
(words & music by wise - starr)
We never got discouraged, we never had a doubt
cos sooner or later talent must win out
Look out broadway, were comin fast
Now were gonna see our names in lights at last
No more hot dogs at sloppy joes
Were gonna dine on steak and wine at del monacos
Rich or poor its great to have dough
Thats one thing we know
Lots of fun, lots of laughs
Signing cheques and contracts and autographs
Were up for n-e-w y-o-r-k
Look out, look out broadway
I wanna see all the hustle and bustle
Maybe I can get a date with lilian russell
I want to go out with diamond jim
Yeh, if he gives you a diamond what will you give to him
Blow the trumpets and beat on the drum
Big time here we come
No more cheap hotels and one night stands
Well knock tin pan alley flat on its pans
Theyll see that weve got class with a capital k
Look out, look out broadway
Look out!
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Please, O God of Humor
Please, O God of Humor, give me the gift of being funny
naturally funny
so I can produce poetry and verse that tickles
and makes readers laugh so much their coins roll out of their wallets;
and let the children roll on the floor when my poems are recited;
for indeed my humor is the worst online by any standard
(or lack of standard)
for when I publish poems meant to be funny
my readers never understand me
and what I thought funny, they think tragic
and what I thought was tickle-tickle material
they find pathetic and practically laughable;
I am lectured to or consoled by readers
when I attempt humor;
I am sent e-mails and spam of advice
and words of caution when I attempt to be witty;
and my 113th poem
on the funny side of social networking
brought sympathy and pity for my lack of friends
but no appreciation for what I thought was funny;
and my 213th poem on old ladies at banks
brought outrage at me for hanging out at banks to ogle at wealthy, old ladies;
my 3131th poem on religion, the Divine
and its Power-packed representatives on Planet Earth
provoked no laughter but the ire and wrath of the other God
(you know, not you the Laughing God,
but the Other One, the Only One, the Angry Jealous God)
really neither man nor beast
nor the Highest Being in heaven
truly
nobody laughs at my verse
and nobody finds my offbeat humor at all funny;
Oh please,
God of Humor,
please make my humor a little like that of
Mr Bean or Jim Carrie
so I can have a universal audience
that will laugh at anything I write
(and perhaps incidentally, I’ll make some money)
and then they’ll all say:
See what the God of Humor and Laughter has done
for that simpleton Raj who never knew what humor in poetry is…
Please God of Humor, won't you humor me?
poem by Raj Arumugam
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For me, the great joy is to watch an audience watching what I've made. To hear not a peep from the audience at the right moment, and then to hear the laughs and the cheers.
quote by Michael Bay
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm Funny
I am fuuny
thats who am i
I am funny
Make u laugh n cry
I am funny
Do funny things
I am funny
I like to play with strings
I am funny
And i don't care
I look funny in my underwear
It's funny that im funny
Thats what i like to be
So lets be funny together
Be funny like me
Halloween
Witches brew their Halloween stew
and stir the pot this day.
Ghosts and goblins prepare themselves
to eerily pass our way.
Skeleton bones rattle and shake
and come alive in the night.
Once again we're reminded of death
as the moon casts its light.
A chill in the air is felt by all
and a shiver runs through man.
Let us hold on fervently to our life
and defy this unearthly plan.
This night shall pass. Dawn will appear
and the Halloween stew will disappear.
All will be as it was before
this eerie night of the year.
poem by Edwina Reizer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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