Cannibal after Dinner Talk
“Did you enjoy your rump steak Dannibal?
It was imported English teacher in jars, ”
“No I didn’t too tough Hannibal,
Must have spent too much time on her ‘R’s.”
poem by Ken e Hall
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Where they belonged
When I was in metric
(now grade twelve)
in the agricultural science class
an English girl took a chair
next to me
who had a secret crush
without getting
any attention from me.
I just wasn’t taken with her
and she was a little brash
and they lived
on the other side
of the railway tracks
and she had a reputation
of sleeping around.
When we studied
animal copulation
she acted as if
she didn’t really understand
and asked me some questions
which made me blush
and it was clear
that she had other plans instead.
Ignoring her didn’t help much
and heart broken she went to cry
on her sister’s shoulder
who was my class teacher
and taught me English
at the time.
We did an IQ test
(the first in my years at school)
and I scored only too well
and without really knowing
my personal circumstances
the teacher told the class
that I was lazy,
but much more than that
she marked my English grades down.
I didn’t know what had got into her
and in the second quarter
like a angel from heaven
a female inspector
(specializing in English)
visited the school.
She couldn’t understand
why my marks had slipped so much
and we had a very nice chat
where she demanded
all my English books and tests.
She graded everything again,
my grades took a hike,
the teacher was called in
and almost did the same
and after that
my grades were where
they belonged.
poem by Gert Strydom
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A Poem To My Teacher - Graduation
Teacher,
I had many to say long ago
And now when time’s coming
I just didn’t know what to say
Teacher,
It had been so long
I wanted to express my gratitude
For every sickener you’d held
For the patience starting to run out
For your love that I wouldn’t get anymore
Thank you
Teacher,
It had been so long
I wanted to say a sorry
For my naughtiness
For my stupidity
For your time spent for us
I’m really sorry
Teacher,
It had been so long
I wanna ask you
Had you ever got angry?
Had you ever been desperate?
Do you love us?
Whatever you felt, sorry and thanks
Teacher,
It had been so long
I wanna hug you
For each knowledge given
For the bright tomorrow
For you, the future’s light
I do love you
poem by Clara Odelia Ciutara
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Teacher Says, Teacher Goes
Teacher says,
teacher goes,
teacher smiles,
teacher knows,
what you have done,
was clearly a mistake,
maybe it is,
time for a break.
Teacher says,
teacher goes,
teacher smiles,
teacher knows,
that you have been naughty.
That you have been quite foughty.
That you are being rude,
don't call teacher a dude.
Teacher says,
teacher goes,
teacher smilies,
teacher know,
that you were making faces,
behind teachers back,
that you were throwing spitballs,
at the teacher's pet.
Teacher says,
teacher goes,
teacher smiles,
teacher knows.
So enough is said,
so now you know,
that whatever you do.....
Teacher says,
Teacher goes,
Teacher smilies,
Teacher knows
poem by Jasmine Aira
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After The Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal, the audience would like to know where, when, and who arrests Hannibal Lecter for the first time. This is the story of Red Dragon.
quote by Dino De Laurentiis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Enjoy
Our English teacher tells in the class;
'Enjoy your vacation and bring me an essay
When you come back.'
How do we enjoy teacher?
When people are dieing with Sicknesses,
Storms, Earthquakes, Mudslides, Wars and so many other miseries.
Children play on the grounds where the mines were rooted
And the weapon manufacturEnjoy
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Our English teacher tells in the class;
'Enjoy your vacation and bring me an essay
When you come back.'
How do we enjoy teacher?
When people are dieing with Sicknesses,
Storms, Earthquakes, Mudslides, Wars and so many other miseries.
Children play on the grounds where the mines were rooted
And the weapon manufacturers are enjoying
When people are dying
Hope you stay till I come back with my sad essay of this hopeless World?
nimal dunuhinga
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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Vicious Homework
It’s obvious that English
Is not my favorite class
And Mrs. Knight, my teacher
Doesn’t think that I will pass
She’s heard all my excuses
About where my homework went
She doesn’t believe a thing I say
Her patience has been spent
So last night I did my homework…
I didn’t want to fail
I read all the chapters
But it didn’t go too well
The paper I wrote the summaries on
Fell in this jar full of muck
The paper grew some teeth and came alive
I didn’t know what I should do…
They were drooling on the floor
I freaked and threw them outside
Then quickly slammed the door
This morning I have a new excuse
To tell to Mrs. Knight
But I doubt that she’ll believe me….
My homework is scared to come out in the light
poem by Mercedes Zoller
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Oh Teacher Oh Teacher
Oh teacher, Oh teacher!
My test isn't signed
Because somehow
My parents went blind
Now, don't say it's my fault,
They left their hands in the bank vault.
Oh teacher, Oh teacher
Do you know why
I was born without wings
And so cannot fly
Thus I am late
Didn't have breakfast,
So if you don't mind,
Pass me a plate.
Oh teacher, Oh teacher!
I've failed again
Please don't scold me,
Now you'll see why,
I was thinking about
Having an eagle's brain.
poem by Sharmila Saheed
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Teacher, Teacher
Teacher, teacher, teacher, teach me now
Teacher, teacher, teacher, guide me now
Teacher, teacher, teacher, show the way
You are my light
You are my guide.
Teacher, teacher, teacher, comfort me
Give your listening ears when I cry
Help me find the strength in what I can
You are my help
You are my guide.
Teacher, teacher, teacher, build me up
When I do wrong, show me what is right
Teacher, teacher, teacher, let us laugh
You are my friend
You are my guide.
poem by Elizabeth Padillo Olesen
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A teacher who is just right
Have you had a teacher
That makes your heart glow
A teacher is wonderful
A teacher whom you feel honored to have
A teacher who you can laugh or cry with
A teacher whom you can love no matter what they do
A teacher who looks up to you when you don't know
A teacher who just seems to understand you
A teacher who you think about day and night
A teacher whom you pray for as you go to bed
A teacher who is there when need them to
Thoughts of them are always in your head
A teacher who shares with you there ups and downs
A teacher who is there for you in school
A teacher who you share all your smiles with replacing al your frowns
poem by Rosa Tenezaca
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Teacher, Teacher
Teacher, teacher
I may not love you
But you're the teacher
I try to do what you want me to
I know you get lonely
But you gotta know
It wasn't love
Let me tell you honey
I'm just a young girl
Don't think I know it enough
Teacher, teacher
I don't wanna get an A
Teacher, teacher
There's gotta be a better way
I'm sick and tired of makin' plans
Without makin' up my mind (Make up your mind)
Teacher, teacher
Can't you see I just need a little time
I know you've been cryin'
Just think that you're not alone
Just cry me a river
It's what you'll deliver
We have to do it on the floor
Teacher, teacher
I don't wanna get an A
Teacher, teacher
There's gotta be a better way
(Woohoo, yeah)
Teacher, teacher
I've been tryin' to get you down
But why should you get used to somebody
Who won't be around
I know you get discouraged
Cause you wanna do it all the time
Honey I can't let you use my body
The same way you use my mind
Teacher, teacher
I don't wanna get an A
Teacher, teacher
There's gotta be a better way
[repeats to end]
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My English Teacher
At the grade three
A new teacher came
Around her table
A queue we were all in
Having exercise books on our hands
To get written our names on it
Twining with aroma of her perfume
Let the mind not go back to the bench
My English teacher
Not like other teachers
Wearing new dresses
Pleasant smile with snazzy
I bought a double rule book
To write proper English letters
Putting the alphabet of base
Following day had a message
No more with us
Principle's words
Teacher came to us
We cried a lot
"Why may teacher you go leaving us'
'Is our school not good'
While worshiping on her feet
Without an answer
Looking at us
Touched our heads
She got a transfer
Because of our remote dry school
Since then on
Until primary end
Without an English teacher
My texts books were new
She doesn't know me for sure
Placed an aroma still in my mind
You wrote that name of mine
I am writing today.
poem by Udaya R. Tennakoon
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Teacher, Teacher
Just when I thought I finally learned my lesson well,
There was more to this than meets the eye.
And for all the things you taught me, only time will tell,
If I'll be able to survive. Oh yeah.
Teacher, teacher, can you teach me?
Can you tell me all I need to know?
Teacher, teacher, can you reach me?
Or will I fall when you let me go? Oh no.
Am I ready for the real world, will I pass the test?
You know it's a jungle out there.
Ain't nothin' gonna stop me, I won't be second best,
But the joke's on those who believe the system's fair, oh yeah.
Teacher, teacher, can you teach me?
Can you tell me if I'm right or wrong?
Teacher, teacher, can you reach me?
I wanna know what's goin' on, Oh yeah.
So the years go on and on, but nothing's lost or won.
And what you learned is soon forgotten.
They take the best years of your life,
Try to tell you wrong from right,
But you walk away with nothing. Oh Oh.
Teacher, teacher, can you teach me?
Can you tell me all I need to know?
Teacher, teacher, can you reach me?
Or will I fall when you let me go?
Teacher, teacher, can you teach me?
Can you tell me if I'm right or wrong?
Teacher, teacher, can you reach me?
I wanna know what's goin' on, Oh
Teacher, teacher, can you teach me?
Teacher, teacher, can you reach me?
Teacher, teacher, can you teach me?
Teacher, teacher, Ooh yeah.
Teacher, teacher
Teacher, teacher
~Adams, Vallance
song performed by by 38 Special
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What Happened to Billy Ray?
As a matter of stature, this man is not very tall.
The stories he tells could fill a shopping mall.
Bill is a word technician in a local high school.
As an English teacher, he is nobody's fool.
Generations of students have learned at his feet.
They will not face the future being incomplete.
How many of us wished we'd had a teacher like Bill?
Thinking of my English teacher still gives me a chill.
Now Bill the Great also likes to fish from time to time.
According to him, his fishing ability is simply sublime.
He worked the worm like strumming a fine instrument.
The poor bass ending up on his hook was his testament.
I write this poem to honor a simple English teacher.
Oh by the way, he once was a country preacher.
Unappreciated by others, he left his current position.
Making more money became his new mission.
In 2006, he had a motorcycle accident that was very grim.
Thereafter, another in his life began to assimilate him.
Resistance proved futile as he had finally become the 'Borg.'
As a result, you'll find our relationship residing in the morgue.
poem by Manager Poet
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A bad or a good teacher
A bad teacher is negatively pessimistic
A good teacher is positively optimistic
A bad teacher swears all the time
A good teacher cares in their prime
A bad teacher passes on rude fear
A good teacher has on good ears
A bad teacher discourages
A good teacher encourages
A bad teacher despairs
A good teacher prepares
A bad teacher likes to bitch
A good teacher likes to teach
A bad teacher shouts every moment
A good teacher scouts for every talent
A bad teacher is up for crude devices
A good teacher is up for good advice
A bad teacher lets students fight on in the dark
A good teacher sets students on the right track
A bad teacher feeds on their looks
A good teachers reads many books
A bad teacher sings along with wrong faults
A good teacher brings along the right results
Copyright 2006 - Sylvia Chidi
www.sylviachidi.co.uk
poem by Sylvia Chidi
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Steak Number 3
[parody of mistake no. 3 by culture club]
The first steak I ordered,
It wasnt very hot.
I had to send it back,
Let em have one more shot.
But the second steak I ordered,
Well it was lousy too.
Now I really hate to say it,
But theres one thing that you gotta do.
Make me steak number three, yeah.
Make me steak number three.
Make me steak number three, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Make me steak number three.
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Everything Is Not Enough
It doesnt help you if you scream and shout
That isnt what this thing is all about
And do you really want to fight to win
Youre missing out and thats another sin
Your dream of power is a sacrifice
Do you really want to pay that price
Just think about it and youll change the pace
Look in the mirror tell me who do you face
Who is that?
Its everything, everything is not enough
I want it all, thats tough, thats tough, thats tough
Another dream, another dream, another dream goes pop
This is the time, lets stop, lets stop, lets stop
Nobody loves you if you moan all day
So take it easy then youll get your way
You aint no dummy and Im sure you know
You know its better if you let it go
Youre in control if you let it go
Youre feeling better when you let it flow
You never really had to catch the moon
Youre better jumping to another tune
So lets jump
Its everything, everything is not enough
I want it all, thats tough, thats tough, thats tough
Another dream, another dream, another dream goes pop
This is the time, lets stop, lets stop, lets stop
Its everything, everything is not enough
I want it all, thats tough, thats tough, thats tough
Another dream, another dream, another dream goes pop
This is the time, lets stop, lets stop, lets stop (do, do, do it)
Ive got it all but its not enough
I keep thinking boy I feel so rough
This cant be me, Im such a happy guy
I laugh a lot but I want to cry
A cry for help is just letting go
It hurts a lot but I think I know
Its time for change I dont need the hype
Its time for change and the time is ripe
So lets go
Its everything, everything is not enough
I want it all, thats tough, thats tough, thats tough
Another dream, another dream, another dream goes pop
This is the time, lets stop, lets stop, lets stop
Its everything, everything is not enough
I want it all, thats tough, thats tough, thats tough
Another dream, another dream, another dream goes pop
This is the time, lets stop, lets stop, lets stop
Its everything, everything is not enough
I want it all, thats tough, thats tough, thats tough
Another dream, another dream, another dream goes pop
This is the time, lets stop, lets stop, lets stop...
song performed by by 10 Cc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Teacher Man
The Teacher Man teaches kids from all over the world
The Teacher Man teaches no matter boy or girl
The Teacher Man teaches Christans, Musilms, and Jews
The Teacher Man teaches those who say 'God I don't believe in you'
The Teacher Man teaches over demands for more recess
The Teacher Man teaches to only demand the best
The Teacher Man teaches Science, Reading, and Math
The Teacher Man teaches how to live out of class
The Teacher Man teaches all how to share
The Teacher Man teaches that we all should care
The Teacher Man teaches how to keep an open mind
The Teacher Man teaches with a kick in the behind
The Teacher Man teaches there are lessons in life
The Teacher Man teaches how to overcome strife
The Teacher Man teaches there's nothing wrong with a hug
The Teacher Man teaches the world changes with Love
The Teacher Man teaches the rich and the poor
The Teacher Man teaches those who are ready for more
The Teacher Man teaches how to look someone in the eye
The Teacher Man teaches how to accept someone in their cry
The Teacher Man teaches in more than one tounge
The Teacher Man teaches how to make working hard fun
The Teacher Man teaches all the colors of the land
But, most important of all, he teaches we should take a stand
Take a Stand, Take a Stand, for what you believe
Take a Stand, Take a Stand, and you will be free
Take a Stand, Take a Stand, for the least of the least
Take such Stand man, and you will find peace
He's the Teacher Man
poem by Ary Bolanos
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Gross stupidity
It was at a time
where you had
to wear a uniform to school,
had to cut your hair
to a predetermined length
and got caned
if you were naughty,
failed a test,
or sometimes
to let the teacher
enforce his will.
If you complained at home
about getting a hiding at school,
you would probably
get another there too
if you deserved it,
but if you were right,
were punished unfairly
or without a real cause
it was seen in a different light
and a teacher
or whoever the punisher was
would have to face
your father in a fight
and could easily
be hit into hospital.
School regulations stipulated
that you couldn’t receive
more than six whippings on a day,
but at Estcourt high school
on my first day
at the new school
in standard nine (now grade eleven)
I received twelve.
We were lining up
to go to the hall
and a prefect told me
to cut my hair
which were just a bit
longer than how
they wanted it.
I said that I would
and while we were walking
to the entrance of the hall
I was told the same thing
over and over again.
On the eighth time
I told the English prefect
in Afrikaans
not to catch the pip
which was a Afrikaans adage
for do not catch a fit.
He told me to repeat
what I had said,
which I did
and thought
that I was cursing him
and took me
to the Headboy
who was English.
Where I had to repeat
myself again
and I did
as believed in telling
the truth.
The head boy took me
to the principal,
(Mister Robert Smith) ,
who thought
that I was saying
something like
go and play
with your member.
He called in the
vice-principal
(another Englishman) ,
a man with a red beard,
who was convinced
that I was cursing,
who shoved my head
under a table
and whipped me six times.
When I explained what it meant
they didn’t believe me
and called in a teacher
who taught Afrikaans
and the principal gave me
another six whippings
for being insubordinate
and wanted to expel me
if I didn’t have my hair cut
on by the next day.
I didn’t tell my stepfather
(who wasn’t a dad to me) ,
but even he
would have sorted
the headmaster
and vice-principal out
and it would have been
the Anglo-Boer war
all over again.
At the time I thought
that I was grossly stupid,
but thinking back
the headmaster and vice-principal
was probably more so.
poem by Gert Strydom
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Tell Me
Tell me I wasn't true
Tell me I didn't believe in you
Tell me a moment I didn't share
Tell me when I acted like I didn't care
Tell me a moment with me that was hard to bear
Tell me when I was fake
Tell me the time we spent wasn't great
Tell me I wasn't a good friend
Tell me I wouldn't have your back until the end
Tell me I treated you like a child
Tell me a time I couldn't make you smile
Tell me a time I didn't miss you
Tell me I never kissed you
Tell me a time I used you
Tell me a time I abused you
Tell me you're not all I have
Tell me when I didn't speak on your behalf
Tell me when I didn't have your back
What I'm seeing I feel like you're telling me all of that
poem by Daniel Chapman
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Willingly bequeathing
I earned more than I spent.
I spent more time to earn
And less time to have respite.
I leave enough wealth behind.
I don’t wish that I spent.
I don’t regret I didn’t spend.
I willingly bequeath
Lest kids should suffer and curse.
09.08.2004
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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