Sandpaper headlines
Sandbags stolen from sandbank
Fishy tail news flash
haiku by Ken e Hall
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Something Fishy
There must be something fishy going on
You said you were goin on a fishin trip with some old friend
You said that youd be home tonight somewhere around ten
Well here it is, its two oclock and youre still not at home
I think theres something fishy goin on
I think that Im a sucker thats swallowing your line
I try to make myself believe that its all in my mind
But you never asked me if Id like to go along
So there must be something fishy goin on
Chorus:
Theres something fishy goin on
On these fishin trips youre goin on
Im gettin tired of stayin home alone
Some night when you come home and discover that Im gone
You can bet theres something fishy goin on
I guess some large-mouth bass left that lipstick on your shirt
I dont think youre a fisherman, honey
I think youre a flirt
Well if youre goin fishin then why dont you bring em home
I think theres something fishy goin on
Repeat chorus
Tag:
Yes, you can bet theres something fishy goin on
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Headlines
Do a show
Save a child
Raise a million bucks
That'll last a while
Fight at parties
Buy a horse
Lose a couple
Win that big divorce
I wanna be in the headlines
Anything to be in the headlines
Saw my chance
Made my break
Took the biggest float
In the Rose parade
Got jailed
No disgrace
A hundred million people
Saw my face
Called a conference
With the press
Announced my marriage plans
In a wedding dress
Climb a building
At six-below
On New Year's Eve
Without a stitch of clothes
I wanna be in the headlines
Anything to be in the headlines
As long as they spell my name right
I hope that they catch my best side
Popped out
From a cake
At the President's ball
What a big mistake
Fifty guns
Aimed at me
I was nearly killed
But what publicity
Nominated
Something big
Stole the hottest scene
Says the Globe And Trib
Porno movie
Comes to light
But I was starving then
So that's alright
I wanna be in the headlines
Anything to be in the headlines
As long as the spell my name right
Hope that they catch my best side
Keep my sidewalk status star bright
Feel free to walk on me tonight
Just don't spit on me.
Headlines, headlines,
Headlines, headlines,
Headlines, headlines,
Headlines.
song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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History Repeats Itself
We only hear of war and terrorism and crimes against humanity
In the World news headlines every day on radio and t v
Systematic abuse by so called soldiers on their prisoners of such we hear and see
And history repeats itself or so 'twould seem to me.
Of a war between the good guys and the bad guys there is no such a thing
For only death and suffering war has been known to bring
To the people of the Country where war is waged in many civilians in the cross fire die
As between the warring parties bullets to and fro do fly.
We've heard it said that war brings peace but with such I don't agree
As the World seems more divided now than at anytime in history
The cultural and religious divide it only seems to grow
And for centuries of fighting wars we do not have much to show.
In the news headlines only bad news or so it would appear
And of war and death and suffering we only see and hear
Yet the war that was to end all wars was waged nine decades ago
And of the lessons we should have learned from history we do not wish to know.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Wxjl Tonight
The way it was in the past
A long, long time ago
Before staff levels dropped
They used to listen to the radio
And listen to the djs talk
About the songs they didnt know
As if it really mattered
Hit-pick or phone-in show
I dont want you to go tonight
Ten thousand watts of power
News headlines on the hour tonight
Our music beats the best
You just dont need the rest tonight
Once I couldnt care at all
But I can feel the ratings fall tonight
And 20 years ago
No-one seemed to care
The people must have known
The djs role was only there
To fill in space between the songs
That talk of love and other things
As if they didnt matter
Automatic stations came
And sent them all away
And now Im left alone
I havent got a word to say
And youre the one who makes the choice
To turn me on or turn me off
But now it really matters
Hit-pick or phone-in show
I dont want you to go tonight
Ten thousand watts of power
News headlines on the hour tonight
Our music beats the best
You just dont need the rest tonight
Once I couldnt care at all
But I can feel the ratings fall tonight
Hit-pick or phone-in show
I dont want you to go tonight
Ten thousand watts of power
News headlines on the hour tonight
Our music beats the best
You just dont need the rest tonight
Ten thousand watts of power
News headlines on the hour tonight
song performed by by Human League
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Come On Home
Dark clouds are comin' like an army
Soon the sky will open up and disarm me
You will go just like you've gone before
One sad soldier off to war, enemies that only you can see.
Dishes stacked, the table cleared
It's always like the scene of the last supper here
You speak so cryptically that's not news to me
The flood is here it will carry you
And I've got work to do.
Come on home, the team you're hitched to has a mind of its own
But it's just the forces of your past you've fought before
Come back here and shut the door
I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles.
There is fire there is lust
Some will trade it all for someone they could trust
There's a bag of silver for a box of nails
It's so simple the betrayal
Though it's known to change the world and what's to come.
Just come on home, the team you're hitched to has a mind of its own
But it's just the forces of your past you've fought before
Don't you recognize them anymore
I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles.
There's the given and the expected
I count my blessings while I eye what I've neglected
Is this for better is this for worse
You're all jammed up and the dam's about to burst.
I hear the owl in the night
I realize that some things never are made right
By some will we string together here
Days to months and months to years
What if everything we have adds up to nothing.
Come on home, the team you're hitched to has a mind of its own
But it's just the forces of your past you've fought before
Come back here and shut the door
I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles.
song performed by by Indigo Girls
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Political reporters no longer get to decide what's news. The days when a minister gave briefings to a dozen lobby correspondents, and thereby dictated the next day's headlines, are over. Now, a thousand bloggers decide for themselves what is interesting. If enough of them are tickled then, bingo, you're news.
quote by Daniel Hannan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Song Of The Sandbags
No, Bill, I'm not a-spooning out no patriotic tosh
(The cove be'ind the sandbags ain't a death-or-glory cuss).
And though I strafes 'em good and 'ard I doesn't 'ate the Boche,
I guess they're mostly decent, just the same as most of us.
I guess they loves their 'omes and kids as much as you or me;
And just the same as you or me they'd rather shake than fight;
And if we'd 'appened to be born at Berlin-on-the-Spree,
We'd be out there with 'Ans and Fritz, dead sure that we was right.
A-standin' up to the sandbags
It's funny the thoughts wot come;
Starin' into the darkness,
'Earin' the bullets 'um;
(Zing! Zip! Ping! Rip!
'ark 'ow the bullets 'um!)
A-leanin' against the sandbags
Wiv me rifle under me ear,
Oh, I've 'ad more thoughts on a sentry-go
Than I used to 'ave in a year.
I wonder, Bill, if 'Ans and Fritz is wonderin' like me
Wot's at the bottom of it all? Wot all the slaughter's for?
'E thinks 'e's right (of course 'e ain't) but this we both agree,
If them as made it 'ad to fight, there wouldn't be no war.
If them as lies in feather beds while we kips in the mud;
If them as makes their fortoons while we fights for 'em like 'ell;
If them as slings their pot of ink just 'ad to sling their blood:
By Crust! I'm thinkin' there 'ud be another tale to tell.
Shiverin' up to the sandbags,
With a hicicle 'stead of a spine,
Don't it seem funny the things you think
'Ere in the firin' line:
(Whee! Whut! Ziz! Zut!
Lord! 'ow the bullets whine!)
Hunkerin' down when a star-shell
Cracks in a sputter of light,
You can jaw to yer soul by the sandbags
Most any old time o' night.
They talks o' England's glory and a-'oldin' of our trade,
Of Empire and 'igh destiny until we're fair flim-flammed;
But if it's for the likes o' that that bloody war is made,
Then wot I say is: Empire and 'igh destiny be damned!
There's only one good cause, Bill, for poor blokes like us to fight:
That's self-defence, for 'earth and 'ome, and them that bears our name;
And that's wot I'm a-doin' by the sandbags 'ere to-night. . . .
But Fritz out there will tell you 'e's a-doin' of the same.
Starin' over the sandbags,
Sick of the 'ole damn thing;
Firin' to keep meself awake,
'Earin' the bullets sing.
(Hiss! Twang! Tsing! Pang!
Saucy the bullets sing.)
Dreamin' 'ere by the sandbags
Of a day when war will cease,
When 'Ans and Fritz and Bill and me
Will clink our mugs in fraternity,
And the Brotherhood of Labour will be
The Brotherhood of Peace.
poem by Robert William Service
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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That's the problem with news interviews, you work your tail off to get prominent figures in the news on the radio, but once they've been on, the event passes, the urgency, the issues you talked about evaporate.
quote by Bob Edwards
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Smeared With Mud And Smelling Of Fried Chicken
No one clearly appearing from out of the 'blue'...
Smeared with mud and smelling of fried chicken,
Can proclaim an innocence,
Of not being involved in a brawl...
At a backyard bar-b-cue.
To then wish to validate their innocence by saying...
They just arrived from a trip they took to remoted islands.
And they have come to report a case of stolen luggage.
Something in this explanation sounds a bit fishy.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It's no longer just reporting the headlines of the day, but trying to put the headlines into some context and to add some perspective into what they mean.
quote by Bob Schieffer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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World News
World News
Obama won the election
With great elation
Yet the headlines in
Norwegian newspapers were
About cheese importation
poem by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tiger By The Tail
What a shock it was so surprising
You looked so small and frail
I didnt know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
People said that you must be joking
You let emotions run away with you
I realized a little too late
I bit off more than I could chew
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
At times life can be so enlightening
But it can turn on you
Lately it gets so complicated i
I dont know what the tiger will do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
Sometimes you grip it right
And sometimes you fail
I grabbed the tiger by the tail
song performed by by Rick Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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But The Same Sea is set precisely in this Israel, which never makes it to the news headlines anywhere. It is a novel about everyday people far removed from fundamentalism, fanaticism nationalism, or militancy of any sort.
Sonnet: Mother Mary’s Crown
The crown on Mary’s head has disappeared:
Perhaps got stolen by some vandal fool!
The grotto’s glass lay broken and blood-smeared;
The shutter’s lock was broken by some tool!
I wondered why this thing had happened thus!
The robber eyed the ‘golden crown’ perhaps;
Would not the one who stole invite God’s curse?
The news has hit the headlines in bold caps!
Could not a miracle retrieve the crown?
Can any pow’r remove the Queen’s head-gear?
It makes a holy person to well frown;
Another crown will come from hearts too dear!
The Queen of Heaven needs no earthly crown!
God bestowed unmatched glory on His own!
Copyright by Dr John Celes 5-12-11
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Give me the good news
Old song stays with me
that says, “give me the good news”
and I wonder
what the news will be today
and what I am going to read in the papers.
The banner headlines are
“teenage sword killer in jail,
taxi driver guilty,
Caster gender shock results
and Transnet still off the rail.”
I wonder where our old world
is going too,
while I stand in front of the offices
of the Pretoria News.
It like other events
has changed the truth
and the record that was broken,
are now without importance
and we are in a country
where nobody,
is sure of his life.
The Wimpy is already open
and I walk there,
to buy a Mega coffee
and a young girl smiles at me
while she is also getting a coffee.
Outside there’s
a bright orange sun
that is hanging
under a few loose clouds
and the Jacarandas are starting to flower
with the first blooms
that is coming out blue.
It’s Friday and the weekend
lies around the corner
and the summer
wants to burst out everywhere
and I wonder why
I want better news
when it’s already
going great with me.
poem by Gert Strydom
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Ah Where Are The Newspapers Of Yesterday?
We chased
yesterday’s news
all over
the grass
laughed
as the old newspapers
ran this
way & that
“kites
without strings”
We pretended them.
Just add wind
& presto...fun!
We were easily pleased.
Later, when the wind
was having a rest
& the papers
lay exhausted
panting at our feet
we decided
to play
“blankets”
tucking ourselves
up in
yesterday’s news.
I had the soccer section
all over me.
You had taken
all the headlines.
We falling
asleep hand in hand.
You, my first girlfriend.
I, your first boyfriend.
poem by Dónall Dempsey
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Good News
Something to begin with
That's easy said than done
You'll see me rolling home
But I don't understand why
Still there's nothing at all
Time is on my side
But we mustn't let our disappointment show
But I will, and you will go on
All I need is some good news (some good news)
All I need is some good news (just some good news)
To put me on my feet (to put me on my feet)
To put me at my ease (at my ease)
All I need is some good news (all I need is some good news)
All I need is some good news (some good news)
To put me at my ease (to put me at my ease)
All I need is some good news
All I need is some good news (just gimme me some good news)
All I need is some good news (some good news)
To put me at my ease (to put me at my ease)
To put me on my feet (on my feet, on my feet)
All I need is some good news (all I need is some good news)
All I need is some good news (all I need is some good news)
All I need is some good news
All I need is some good news (all I need is good news)
To put me on my ease (to put me at my ease)
To put me on my feet (on my feet, on my feet)
All I need is some good news (good news)
All I need is some good news (some good news)
All I need is some good news (good news)
All I need is some good news
[Repeat to fade
song performed by by 10 Cc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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News From Heaven
It came at the middle of my sleep
Standing as the pillar that holds heaven from earth
Like a message sent unto Elijah
Delivered from one of the stations in heaven
Stating, “the news in full from heaven”
With headlines firing like bullets
Warning against disobedience and disguise
Politicians who are good in deceiving the people
Stating heaven has started pampering their destruction
As a caption from “the news in full from heaven”
Lovers who says it’s a game
Toiling with the heart of their spouse
You have registered for a competion
Whose championship is to hell
Says, ”the news in full from heaven”
For leaders that exhibit misconduct
Followers that violate rule of law
Stakeholders are agonizing for you
As you could miss the flight to heaven
Making for more issues in “the news in full from heaven”
As I jostle to wake like a criminal on the run
Only to find a bulletin lying helpless beside me
Imprint in bold: the deaf should tell the blind
You’ll one day be called home
I knew at once it’s “the news in full from heaven”
poem by sholadoye Dada
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Fairy Song
We the fairies blithe and antic,
Of Dimensions not gigantic,
Though the moonshine mostly keep us,
Oft in orchards frisk and peep us,
Stolen sweets are always sweeter;
Stolen kisses much completer;
Stolen looks are nice in chapels;
Stolen, stolen be your apples.
When to bed the world are bobbing,
Then's the time to go orchard robbing;
Yet the fruit were scarce worth peeling
Were it not for stealing, stealing.
poem by Thomas Randolph
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When you do a cartoon based on news headlines, you do it based on incomplete information.