Jonathan Swift

Mr. William Crowe’s Address To Her Majesty, Turned Into Metre

From a town that consists of a church and a steeple,
With three or four houses, and as many people,
There went an Address in great form and good order,
Composed, as 'tis said, by Will Crowe, their Recorder.
And thus it began to an excellent tune:
Forgive us, good madam, that we did not as soon
As the rest of the cities and towns of this nation
Wish your majesty joy on this glorious occasion.
Not that we're less hearty or loyal than others,
But having a great many sisters and brothers,
Our borough in riches and years far exceeding,
We let them speak first, to show our good breeding.
We have heard with much transport and great satisfaction
Of the victory obtain'd in the late famous action,
When the field was so warm'd, that it soon grew too hot
For the French and Bavarians, who had all gone to pot,
But that they thought best in great haste to retire,
And leap into the water for fear of the fire.
But says the good river, Ye fools, plague confound ye,
Do ye think to swim through me, and that I'll not drown ye?
Who have ravish'd, and murder'd, and play'd such damn'd pranks,
And trod down the grass on my much-injured banks?
Then, swelling with anger and rage to the brink,
He gave the poor Monsieur his last draught of drink.
So it plainly appears they were very well bang'd,
And that some may be drown'd, who deserved to be hang'd.
Great Marlbro' well push'd: 'twas well push'd indeed:
Oh, how we adore you, because you succeed!
And now I may say it, I hope without blushing,
That you have got twins, by your violent pushing;
Twin battles I mean, that will ne'er be forgotten,
But live and be talk'd of, when we're dead and rotten.
Let other nice lords sculk at home from the wars,
Prank'd up and adorn'd with garters and stars,
Which but twinkle like those in a cold frosty night;
While to yours you are adding such lustre and light,
That if you proceed, I'm sure very soon
'Twill be brighter and larger than the sun or the moon:
A blazing star, I foretell, 'twill prove to the Gaul,
That portends of his empire the ruin and fall.
Now God bless your majesty, and our Lord Murrough,
And send him in safety and health to his borough.

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Alfred Lord Tennyson

Hands All Round

First pledge our Queen this solemn night,
Then drink to England, every guest;
That man’s the best Cosmopolite
Who loves his native country best.
May freedom’s oak for ever live
With stronger life from day to day;
That man’s the true Conservative
Who lops the moulder’d branch away.
Hands all round!
God the traitor’s hope confound!
To this great cause of Freedom drink, my friends,
And the great name of England, round and round.

To all the loyal hearts who long
To keep our English Empire whole!
To all our noble sons, the strong
New England of the Southern Pole!
To England under Indian skies,
To those dark millions of her realm!
To Canada whom we love and prize,
Whatever statesman hold the helm.
Hands all round!
God the traitor’s hope confound!
To this great name of England drink, my friends,
And all her glorious empire, round and round.

To all our statesmen so they be
True leaders of the land’s desire!
To both our Houses, may they see
Beyond the borough and the shire!
We sail’d wherever ship could sail,
We founded many a mighty state;
Pray God our greatness may not fail
Thro’ craven fears of being great.
Hands all round!
God the traitor’s hope confound!
To this great cause of Freedom drink my friends,
And the great name of England, round and round.

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After Blenheim

It was a summer evening,
Old Kaspar's work was done,
And he before his cottage door
Was sitting in the sun,
And by him sported on the green
His little grandchild Wilhelmine.

She saw her brother Peterkin
Roll something large and round,
Which he beside the rivulet
In playing there had found;
He came to ask what he had found,
That was so large, and smooth, and round.

Old Kaspar took it from the boy,
Who stood expectant by;
And then the old man shook his head,
And, with a natural sigh,
''Tis some poor fellow's skull,' said he,
'Who fell in the great victory.

'I find them in the garden,
For there's many here about;
And often when I go to plough,
The ploughshare turns them out!
For many thousand men,' said he,
'Were slain in that great victory.'

'Now tell us what 'twas all about,'
Young Peterkin, he cries;
And little Wilhelmine looks up
With wonder-waiting eyes;
'Now tell us all about the war,
And what they fought each other for.'

'It was the English,' Kaspar cried,
'Who put the French to rout;
But what they fought each other for,
I could not well make out;
But everybody said,' quoth he,
'That 'twas a famous victory.

'My father lived at Blenheim then,
Yon little stream hard by;
They burnt his dwelling to the ground,
And he was forced to fly;
So with his wife and child he fled,
Nor had he where to rest his head.

'With fire and sword the country round
Was wasted far and wide,
And many a childing mother then,
And new-born baby died;
But things like that, you know, must be
At every famous victory.

'They say it was a shocking sight
After the field was won;
For many thousand bodies here
Lay rotting in the sun;
But things like that, you know, must be
After a famous victory.

'Great praise the Duke of Marlbro' won,
And our good Prince Eugene.'
'Why, 'twas a very wicked thing!'
Said little Wilhelmine.
'Nay… nay… my little girl,' quoth he,
'It was a famous victory.

'And everybody praised the Duke
Who this great fight did win.'
'But what good came of it at last?'
Quoth little Peterkin.
'Why that I cannot tell,' said he,
'But 'twas a famous victory.'

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How Great

Like a mother mine was delighted she gave birth
It feels as great as we felt coming to live on earth
Great as we thought it was when joining school
Highly respectable as we perceived our graduation
with great love of money for love and infatuation
Much as we thought money made people great

Then the job made great impact on love perception
We were held higher by those thinking we were great
Our mind made us take a great pride in education
With little regards to the good great book we forgot
For great eloquence in language for communication
For great crowds of ladies and gentlemen we fought
The more lovers one has, the easier it was to feel great

How great was the lavish and satisfaction
How great the diversity and the depth we experienced
How great the comfort to feel the hardness and softness
How great on earth does it taste fornication?
How great when we fear not for our Godlessness
How great when we die is going to be our tribulation?

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Watching You, Watching Me, Watching You, Watching Everyone

So this is Great Britain
A green and pleasant land?
The home of CCTV Camera’s
To get speeding drivers banned

So this is Great Britain
The welfare state, & NHS
Great British Institutions?
Some think they’re in a mess

So this Is Great Britain
That once ruled the waves
An Empire and a Commonwealth?
Now issues ASBO’s if one misbehaves

So this is Great Britain
The Mother of Democracy?
The House of Commons and Lords
Ensuring justice & liberty?

So this is Great Britain
Where God saves the Queen
A land of hope & glory?
You can vote at age eighteen

So this is Great Britain
Are the pensioners in poverty?
They’ve never had it so good?
They’re all having a nice cup of tea

So this is Great Britain
A class system breeding inequality
Education, Education, Education?
Needing a dose of political honesty

So this is Great Britain
Still the mother of the free?
The police, council, & MI5
Are watching you or watching me

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The Battle of Blenheim

It was a summer evening;
Old Kaspar’s work was done,
And he before his cottage door
Was sitting in the sun;
And by him sported on the green
His little grandchild Wilhelmine.

She saw her brother Peterkin
Roll something large and round,
Which he beside the rivulet
In playing there had found.
He came to ask what he had found,
That was so large, and smooth, and round.

Old Kaspar took it from the boy,
Who stood expectant by;
And then the old man shook his head,
And with a natural sigh,
“‘Tis some poor fellow’s skull,” said he,
“Who fell in the great victory.

“I find them in the garden,
For there’s many here about;
And often, when I go to plow,
The plowshare turns them out;
For many thousand men,” said he,
“Were slain in that great victory.”

“Now tell us what ‘twas all about,”
Young Peterkin, he cries;
And little Wilhelmine looks up
With wonder-waiting eyes;
“Now tell us all about the war,
And what they fought each other for.”

“It was the English,” Kaspar cried,
“Who put the French to rout;
But what they fought each other for,
I could not well make out;
But everybody said,” quoth he,
“That ‘twas a famous victory.

“My father lived at Blenheim then,
Yon little stream hard by;
They burnt his dwelling to the ground,
And he was forced to fly;
So with his wife and child he fled,
Nor had he where to rest his head.

“With fire and sword the country round
Was wasted far and wide,
And many a childing mother then,
And new-born baby, died;
But things like that, you know, must be
At every famous victory.

“They say it was a shocking sight
After the field was won;
For many thousand bodies here
Lay rotting in the sun;
But things like that, you know, must be
After a famous victory.

“Great praise the Duke of Marlboro’ won,
And our good Prince Eugene.”
“Why, ‘twas a very wicked thing!”
Said little Wilhelmine.
“Nay, nay, my little girl,” quoth he;
“It was a famous victory.

“And everybody praised the Duke
Who this great fight did win.”
“But what good came of it at last?”
Quoth little Peterkin.
“Why, that I cannot tell,” said he;
“But ‘twas a famous victory.”

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The revelations of great men

If you do something good in return,
You aren’t good; you settled a due.

If you do something good intently,
You aren’t good; you simply invested.

If you ask pardon for a fevour,
You aren’t great; it’s a strategy.

If you give pardon to one mightier,
You aren’t great with no alternatives.

If you speak truth when comfortable
And be honest when convenient

You cannot boast of yourself as great
As any mean one could do them at ease.

You aren’t great being just in matters
Where being otherwise of no advantage.

You aren’t great with the veil you’ve made
Of good deeds to hide the ill gotten.

You aren’t great with philanthropy
From the undue or unfair wealth got.

But for few, all great men may forgive me
For the revelations made of them.
19.10.2008

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On My Aunt Mrs. A. K.

Drown'd under London-bridge, in the Queens Bardge, Anno 1641


The Darling of a Father Good and Wise,
The Vertue, which a Vertuous Age did prize;
The Beauty Excellent even to those were Faire,
Subscrib'd unto, by such as might compare;
The Star that 'bove her Orb did always move,
And yet the Noblest did not Hate, but Love;
And those who most upon their Title stood,
Vail'd also to, because she did more Good.
To whom the Wrong'd, and Worthy did resort,
And held their Sutes obtain'd, if only brought;
The highest Saint in all the Heav'n of Court.
So Noble was her Aire, so Great her Meen,
She seem'd a Friend, not Servant to the Queen.
To Sin, if known, she never did give way,
Vice could not Storm her, could it not betray.

When angry Heav'n extinguisht her fair Light,
It seem'd to say, Nought's Precious in my sight;
As I in Waves this Paragon have drown'd,
The Nation next, and King I will confound.

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Nigeria, Good People, Great Nation

Nigeria good people
Together we build a great nation
No doubt we are
The world even believes that

A change of mindset
Can bring us to great sunset
A sunset and a new dawn
Of a great Nigeria with good people

You can do something
To make this nation great
Have a change of mindset
Do that thing, good people

Goal getter for greater Nigeria
Good people we are
Great Nation, good people

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There’s Always a Dawn

There were spears
There were swords
Made for hunting
Not war
Yet with it, from the blood of the innocent will create a new dawn

But war came
Great battles and fights
Many dead
Few still alive
To face the never ending dawn

A new world made
By the people who were left
Conquerors and Defeated
United in one land
A new dawn created with the help of man

The one land changed
More wars began
Famine and disease
Grew a part of that
But the dawn still remained

It was after these wars that history began
Written by the victors about
The defeated
The damned
The dawn was never mentioned- forgotten

These people
The defeated left the land
In search for a new home
Away from the wars
Searching forever for a new dawn

Perhaps they were wise
To leave with such haste
For the empire they once knew
Began to break
The dawn now remembered- the people prayed

The empire broke
The great kingdom now gone
In its place a new world just like the dawn
Still life in the world went on and on
Yet the dawn was still worshiped- never forgotten

The years past
More wars began
Countries discovered
New weapons for man
The promise man made- left to die

Centuries turned
Discoveries made
Technology found
Diseases dead
Still on and on the dawn survives

But for every technology there’s always a weapon
For every discovery there’s always a second
With one disease dead more still arrive
And with every new day a new world is created
Though the dawn still remained

So the world keeps turning
In the dark and light
For every bad thing
There’s always a light
In the dawn

In war it is Peace
In death it is Life
In disease it is the Cures
In the world it is Hope
Disguised as the dawn

Hope keeps us going
Through the bad it is strength
To do what is right, To help the world
In the light it shines, shines for the future, a brighter day
A new dawn

The earth might be in darkness
With a shadow on its edge
Waiting to consume
Till the universe is dead
The dawn still remains

But still the world keeps turning
Like the never ending dawn
Time is forever
And the universe survives
Because of the dawn

It might seem the end
Of the world that we know
But at the end of a day
There’s always mans hope
There’s always a dawn

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The Great Titanic

It was on one Monday morning just about one o'clock
When that great Titanic began to reel and rock;
People began to scream and cry,
Saying, 'Lord, am I going to die?'


Chorus

It was sad when that great ship went down,
It was sad when that great ship went down,
Husbands and wives and little children lost their lives,
It was sad when that great ship went down
.

When that ship left England it was making for the shore,
The rich had declared that they would not ride with the poor,
So they put the poor below,
They were the first to go.

While they were building they said what they would do,
We will build a ship that water can't go through;
But God with power in hand
Showed the world that it could not stand.

Those people on that ship were a long ways from home,
With friends all around they did n't know that the time had come;
Death came riding by,
Sixteen hundred had to die.

While Paul was sailing his men around,
God told him that not a man should drown;
If you trust and obey,
I will save you all to-day.

You know it must have been awful with those people on the sea,
They say that they were singing, 'Nearer My God to Thee.'
While some were homeward bound,
Sixteen hundred had to drown.

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Dark Mountain

Far in a land where the people dwell,
A darkness of disappointment fell,
On the land of which I speak.
No one knows where it came from,
But a drought much larger will come,
And dry up our newborn creek.

Everything is dead,
So everyone has seen,
Even when I said,
On this land which I deem,
Alive and great.
But what happened...
Nothing, but a terrible fate.

Among the land where people thrive,
Everything good will take a dive,
To the feet of He.
He will absorb up all the good,
And turn it in what should,
Be dark and evil to them and me.

I said Fall great darkness!
And rise great good!
And the darkness replied,
I would if I could,
For the power of He,
Is much stronger than me,
I'd love to stop tormenting,
Your precious town,
But if I do,
I will fall down,
And bow at His feet,
But that part of life,
Is too early for me.
So I cannot stop,
Plaguing your precious mountain-top.

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To R A A

Was it not a great end?
Wrote your Philip, with a story
Of a great deed, a great death--
Not foreseeing his own glory
And his budding laurel-wreath--
In the last words he should send.


Philip's followed Alan's lead.
They are gone into the night
With the great heroes of old,
With the stars, the stars they are bright;
They are warm; they are not cold.
They live: they are not dead.


But the silence aches. O friend
In the darkness, cold and stricken,
For anodyne, antidote,
Tell your dead heart, that it quicken,
The last words that Philip wrote:
'Was it not a great end ?' A great end!

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A Requisition to the Queen

Smiths Buildings No. 19
Patons Lane,
Dundee.
Sept the 6th. 1877.


Most August! Empress of India, and of great Britain the Queen,
I most humbly beg your pardon, hoping you will not think it mean
That a poor poet that lives in Dundee,
Would be so presumptous to write unto Thee

Most lovely Empress of India, and Englands generous Queen,
I send you an Address, I have written on Scotlands Bard,
Hoping that you will accept it, and not be with me to hard,
Nor fly into a rage, but be as Kind and Condescending
As to give me your Patronage

Beautiful Empress, of India, and Englands Gracious Queen,
I send you a Shakespearian Address written by me.
And I think if your Majesty reads it, right pleased you will be.
And my heart it will leap with joy, if it is patronized by Thee.

Most Mighty Empress, of India, and Englands beloved Queen,
Most Handsome to be Seen.
I wish you every Success.
And that heaven may you bless.
For your Kindness to the poor while they are in distress.
I hope the Lord will protect you while living
And hereafter when your Majesty is ... dead.
I hope the Lord above will place an eternal Crown! upon your Head.
I am your Gracious Majesty ever faithful to Thee,
William McGonagall, The Poor Poet,
That lives in Dundee.

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A Fancy

A LITTLE sprite sat on a moonbeam,
When the night was waning away,
And over the world to the eastward
Spread the first faint flush of day.
The moonbeam was cold and slippery,
5
And a fat little fairy was he;
Around him the white clouds were sleeping,
And under him slumbered the sea.
Then the old moon looked out of her left eye,
And laughed when she thought of the fun,
10
For she knew that the moonbeam he sat on
Would soon melt away in the sun;
So she gave a slight shrug of her shoulders,
And winked at a bright little star—
The moon was remarkably knowing,
15
As old people always are.
"Great madam," then answered the fairy,
"No doubt you are wonderfully wise,
And know probably more than another
Of the ins and the outs of the skies.
20
But to think that we don't in our own way
An interest in sky-things take,
Is a common and fatal blunder
That sometimes you great ones make.
"For I've looked up from under the heather,

25
And watched you night after night,
And marked your silent motion,
And the fall of your silvery light.
I have seen you grow larger and larger,
I have watched you fade away;
30
I have seen you turn pale as a snowdrop
At the sudden approach of day.
"So don't think for a moment, great madam,
Tho' a poor little body I be,
That I haven't my senses about me,

35
Or am going to fall into the sea.
I have had what you only could give me—
A pleasant night ride in the sky;
But a new power arises to eastward,
So now, useless old lady, good-bye."
40
He whistled a low sweet whistle,
And up from the earth so dark,
With its wings bespangled with dewdrops,
There bounded a merry lark.
He's mounted the tiny singer,
45
And soared through the heavens away,
With his face all aglow in the morning,
And a song for the rising day.

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Clive Barker

It is great good health to believe, as the Hindus do, that there are 33 million gods and goddesses in the world. It is great good health to want to understand one's dreams. It is great good health to desire the ambiguous and paradoxical.

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When the Watchman Saw the Light

Winter, summer, the watchman sat there looking out
from the roof of Atreus' palace.
Now he has good news to report. He's seen the fire light up
in the distance and he's happy; besides, the drudgery's over now:
it's hard to sit there night and day in heat and cold,
waiting for a fire to show
on the peak of Arachnaion.
Now the longed-for signal has appeared. Yet when happiness comes
it brings less joy than one expected.
But at least we've gained this much: we've rid ourselves
of hope and expectation. Many things will happen
to the house of Atreus: no need to be wise
to guess this now the watchman has seen the light.
So let's not exaggerate.
The light is good; and those coming are good,
their words and actions also good.
And let's hope all goes well.
But Argos can do without the house of Atreus.
Ancient houses are not eternal.
Of course many people will have much to say.
We should listen. But we won't be deceived
by words such as Indispensable, Unique, and Great.
Someone else indispensable and unique and great
can always be found at a moment's notice.

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Money Ain’t God

Money is not God,
Albeit good health and great wealth
Will put a commoner in the position to afford
The most luxurious amenities on earth.

God is wealth;
Good health
Is the richest gift
That can be bestowed on a chief.

Money is like a gaud;
It is a fraud
To think that money is God.

A King or a Queen, without good health,
Is sinking at the bottom;
He or she is dead, indeed worthless.
A penniless pauper, with great health,
Is wealthier than one can fathom;
He or she is darn blessed.

God is wealth;
God is health;
Money ain’t God;
Money ain’t God.

Good health and great wealth
Are like divine gifts;
Adding a little wisdom and a good heart,
Such combo will put a cherub on a celestial lift,
Where life is wonderful and set apart.

God is wealth;
Good health
Is the richest gift
That can be bestowed on a chief.

Money is like a gaud,
It is a fraud
To think that money is God.

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Robert Graves

Star-Talk

'Are you awake, Gemelli,
This frosty night?'
'We'll be awake till reveillé,
Which is Sunrise,' say the Gemelli,
'It's no good trying to go to sleep:
If there's wine to be got we'll drink it deep,
But rest is hopeless to-night,
But rest is hopeless to-night.'

'Are you cold too, poor Pleiads,
This frosty night?'
'Yes, and so are the Hyads:
See us cuddle and hug,' say the Pleiads,
'All six in a ring: it keeps us warm:
We huddle together like birds in a storm:
It's bitter weather to-night,
It's bitter weather to-night.'

'What do you hunt, Orion,
This starry night?'
'The Ram, the Bull and the Lion,
And the Great Bear,' says Orion,
'With my starry quiver and beautiful belt
I am trying to find a good thick pelt
To warm my shoulders to-night,
To warm my shoulders to-night.

'Did you hear that, Great She-bear,
This frosty night?
'Yes, he's talking of stripping me bare
Of my own big fur,' says the She-bear,
'I'm afraid of the man and his terrible arrow:
The thought of it chills my bones to the marrow,
And the frost so cruel to-night!
And the frost so cruel to-night!'

'How is your trade, Aquarius,
This frosty night?'
'Complaints is many and various
And my feet are cold,' says Aquarius,
'There's Venus objects to Dolphin-scales,
And Mars to Crab-spawn found in my pails,
And the pump has frozen to-night,
And the pump has frozen to-night.'

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Bud Tingwell

Bud Tingwell he did have a lengthy life span
And he was a good actor and quite a good man
A famous Australian who was known Worldwide
One could only feel sad to hear that he had died
In his life so many friends the great man made
And widespread respect to him in his passing deservedly paid
A great mentor to aspiring young actors in his long acting career
To so many film buffs himself he did endear
At living a good life one who did succeed
One by good example who always did lead
A man who has been honoured in story and rhyme
His name will live on through the annals of time
For him his separation from life was a painful release
Bud Tingwell the great man may he rest in peace

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Don't Forget who is your Father

God is Great
He created you and me so ladies and gentleman
he is the only person to praise and pray
Cause some of us we pray Alan people you pray him
who is him God is the one who created us
so guys help me to Thank him every time i'm sick i call him cause
he is the hiller the killer of diseases in the world
Help me to sing.
How great is our God sing with me how great is our God
all we sing is how great is our God age to age praise his
Great great great great great
great great great great great great great
great great great great great great great
great great great great great great great great great great great

GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD..

Thank you Help me pliz.

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