Uncle Eric
'Two beers or not two beers? '
Joked my uncle, -
He was an alcoholic.
He died at 73,
Not bad for someone
Who'd wrecked his marriage
And career, and alienated
His family.
Two beers or not two beers?
That was the question!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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Related quotes
On Matchdays
Meet in the pub
have a few beers
banter with away fans
wind each other up.
Make way to the ground
soak up the atmosphere
quick flick through the programme
clap the players onto the pitch.
A half time pint and pie
chat about the game
then back to your seat
hug your mate, just scored.
Gutted a late equaliser
but hold on for a draw
some boo, some clap
back to the pub.
Have a few beers
banter with away fans
wind each other up
shake hands,
'safe journey home '
poem by Kevin Halls
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The Loved Stranger
I remembered I'd promised my Aunt Adele before she died
that I'd get in touch with her family in Oz
just to put matters to rest, since they'd not spoken for years
since she upped and went off with this Pom
and left the family without its clever high-earner...
I wasn't looking forward to it with all that bad blood -
'Enough for a vampire's transfusion' said my uncle, the culprit -
but a promise is a promise. I had Auntie's old phone book;
worked out the time here that would be Sunday afternoon in Oz.
The voice was open, strong, friendly - I guessed I'd hit
that great moment when they'd had the barbie,
the few beers after the few beers,
the guests had just gone off
and the washing-up could wait until after a beer...
He was really glad I'd phoned -
he'd been away from the family most of his life, one reason and another -
so we didn't have much to try to piece together
which was probably a good thing, could've been
a pretty forced, stilted conversation -
so we got chatting about one thing and another,
our different lifestyles, our families -
and you know how it is, strangers on a train and all that,
got quite carried away, about how much we enjoyed life,
loved our wives and families, wouldn't change a thing,
what life had taught us - almost anything, everything really
like we were old friends who hadn't met up for years..
It was quite late on in the conversation, when we were working out
if we couldn't fix up a family visit, and he'd said,
no, they'd never lived in Adelaide (after which city
Aunt was proudly named - 'greatest city on earth' they said,
not having travelled further than Sydney -)
when I realised I'd phoned the wrong number; but
felt good and he too I guess.
So I had to choose the moment
to laugh and say hey this is an expensive call,
talk to the wife and call you back, Jacko...
I've never known my family so bloody merry
as when the story got around.
poem by Michael Shepherd
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There are no bad beers; some kinds are better than others.
The precondition to freedom is security.
quote by Rand Beers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I would rather be having a burger and beers with my mates but I can't do that when I know I've got to dance.
quote by Michael Flatley
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Men As Predators
Each bird of prey sat lonely on a seat close to the wall,
Deducing and watching each fish with cup of beers in their hands.
Cunningly they caress the lips with their thumb
Fingers,
But in spite of the beers they feel the taste for lust.
Although their seeming rocky heart won't melt into larva, still they feel a degree of taste.
About ten to fifteen birds leap from their seats
To trap the preys:
Bacci on their beaks, with smoke nourishing the air; they trapped the fish in their claws,
Clanging each fish with hopeful touch;
Dancing, whispering to the fish with pound of delusive golds in their hands;
Each fish has accepted the gold and left with
The birds to be devoured cold
Upon the womb of Rhea where they thought gold did sprout.
poem by Pedro Moshood
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Lion's Apology
I'm sorry,
so very sorry
I'm sorry that I'm unsensitive
and that I'm so assertive
I'm sorry I quench my alcoholic thirst
instead of thinking of you first
I'm sorry I cut my hair
as if you didn't even care
I'm sorry I scream in your ears
after one too many beers
I'm sorry I took it as a token
when our relationship was broken
I'm sorry I didn't even bother
to tell you I slept with her
I'm sorry you cried
after I lied
But please, O please!
Let me erase your fears
and wipe away your tears
I can say one thing that is true:
I still love you
poem by Paul the Lion
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You can't succeed in beating the insurgents unless you can convince the people that they can be protected.
quote by Rand Beers
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Let's be cautious about dreaming up extreme scenarios. The situation in Iraq is still salvageable.
quote by Rand Beers
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Sir, I see a lot of documents in my day-to-day business, and I can't tell you every document that I've seen. It may have passed across my desk. It may not have passed across my desk. I truthfully cannot answer that question, other than to say I don't remember.
quote by Rand Beers
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Needing Advice
(Son) Hey, Dad, have you got a minute? Actually
it's a little complicated. Could you meet me
at Cuss from Hoe over a beer or two?
(Dad) Now you have got me worried, big spender.
What's up?
(Son) I need some advice.
(Dad) O.K., see you in about twenty minutes.
(Dad) Well, son, I think I need something stronger
than two beers.
Are you sure he is dead?
(Son) Yeah, he is not breathing.
(Dad) And he is in your apartment?
(Son) Yeah, he came downstairs to watch the ball game. We
had a couple of beers and I fell asleep on the couch.
Next thing, I wake up and there he is lying on the floor
in a pool of blood.
(Dad) And he is still there?
(Son) Yeah, he is dead, Dad. He can't leave.
(Dad) Did he ever pay you back the money he owed you, that you owe me.
(Son) No, that's why I checked his wallet to see if that was his
intention, to pay me back.
(Dad) And what did you find?
(Son) His wallet was empty, nothing in it.
How do I explain that to the cops, Dad?
(Dad) Holy Moley, how do you get yourself into these messes?
We've got to throw his wallet in the river, get back to
your place, break a window, empty your wallet, and after
I have punched you out, I'll call the police.
(Son) Thanks, Dad, I knew you'd think of something,
except Gus at Cuss from Hoe heard us talking.
(Dad) Yeah, but he was the only one there and he owes me
$20 grand. He said he'll pay me tonight.
Want to take care of it?
(Son) Sure, Dad.
poem by Elke Nigro
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The expansion and sophistication of transnational crime represents one of the most dangerous threats we confront in the next millennium.
quote by Rand Beers
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When Richie Cunningham drank too many beers, his parents sat him down and explained their concerns. If you live on this earth, you find out that we are all the same.
quote by Henry Winkler
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I was deposed in association with a case involving the Golden Venture, a ship which smuggled Chinese aliens into the United States about eight or nine ago.
quote by Rand Beers
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We've got horse property and there's other stuff to do. Like, four wheel driving, we barbeque, drink beers, sit around and play guitars and have a merry 'ol time.
I don't take part in it the way I used to-the bimbos, the free beers, free drugs, all that. That's still there if you want it, but I don't really seek that out any more.
quote by Layne Staley
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What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.
quote by Dave Barry
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Wild Kittens In The Yard
Oh how they play
On this hot summer day
Bouncing off the walls
Just like furry rubber balls
Boy if I had their energy
I be fit and trim as thee
They remind of my youthful years
Before I drank those million
BEERS
poem by David Kush
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I never had one beer. If I bought a six-pack of beer, I kept drinking till all six beers were gone. You have to have that kind of understanding about yourself. I haven't had a drink now in 12 years.
quote by Samuel L. Jackson
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The Hollow Point
Ian McShane, Lynn Collins, Patrick Wilson, John Leguizamo, Jim Belushi, Michael Flynn, Heather Beers, David Fernandez Jr., Nathan Stevens
by Nils Lyew from The Hollow Point (2016)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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