Bill's Hard-On
When Bill was walking in Cupid's Garden
He suddenly got a tremendous hard-on,
He'd seen a lass with a naked breast
Who'd obviously taken off her vest.
She said to him 'I beg your pardon
It must be a shock to see me undressed! '
He said 'Don't worry, you haven't guessed,
But I was feeling quite depressed,
But now I see your sexy tit
I reckon I would like a bit,
So let's get quickly out of sight
And set the planets all alight! '
He claims that it went on all night
Until the sun rose warm and bright,
And in the early morning light
He shouted out 'THAT WAS ALRIGHT! '
Now it certainly makes his neighbours talk
When Bill decides to go for a walk! !
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Railroad Bill
Railroad bill were gonna railroad bill
He never works and he never will
Im gonna ride on a railroad bill
Im gonna ride on a railroad bill
Railroad bill he was a mighty bad man
Kill anybody that he think he can
Gonna ride old railroad bill
Gonna ride old railroad bill
Im singin railroad bill,
Im talkin railroad bill, uh-huh-huh
He never worked and he never will
Im gonna ride on railroad bill, yeah
(cmon) Im gonna ride on railroad bill
Well old railroad bill he done stole my wife
Im gonna check him down Im gonna take his life
Gonna ride on railroad bill
Gonna ride railroad bill
Im singin railroad bill
On a railroad bill
He never worked and he never will
Im gonna ride on railroad bill
Im gonna ride on railroad bill
Railroad bill he was a mighty bad man
Kill anybody that he think he can
Gonna ride old railroad bill
Gonna ride railroad bill
Im talkin railroad bill
I love him railroad bill
Uh-huh-huh
He never worked and he never will
Gonna ride on railroad bill
Yeah, gonna ride on railroad bill
Well Im goin up the mountain
Yes Im goin out west
I got a mighty big pistol
Stickin out of my vest
Gonna ride old railroad bill
Gonna ride (alright)
Railroad bill, I love that railroad bill
Uh-huh-huh
He never works and he never will
Im gonna ride on a railroad bill
Im gonna ride on railroad bill
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Am Bill!
I like to drink and I love to smoke
Which sadly though is not a joke
I even like to take an occasionally pill,
So I now have a really bad heart
Which is to blame on my part
So now, you can call me Bill.
I am not at all very tall
Others say that I am very small
Men are mountains I am just a hill,
I have no hair upon my head
So my head is covered or it would be red
So of course, you can call me Bill.
I have myself this one daughter
Whom says she has no father
That statement makes me feel so very ill,
It makes me feel also really sad
I cheated on her mom so she is mad
So of course, you can call me Bill.
I ride myself a motor bike
As it reminds me of my other trike
I ride it to impress women and others with a thrill,
I want people to think I am rough
But I am coward and I am not at all tough
So of course, you can call me Bill.
I have myself a girlfriend
She is just like me till the very end
She’ll do anything for me even against her will,
She has cheated and she has also lied
Threw away her dignity and also her pride
So of course, you can call me Bill.
I don’t have a job so I never go to work
Other persons call me lazy but that’s a perk
As now our government pays for all of my bill,
They also paid me to go to school
I used the money but I am still a fool
So of course, you can call me Bill.
I am jealous what other men own
As I have nothing living inside a broken home
So from others I like to rob and also steal,
It is hard to see me while I prowl at night
Where I cower in the shadows away from light
So of course, you can call me Bill.
When my life comes to an end
And I go to meet GOD with all my sin
Then finally I will know what in life was real,
I shamefully will walk to GOD in my platform shoes
While covering my head so he wont be amused
And I will say I am sorry; but of course, I am Bill.
Randy L. McClave
poem by Randy McClave
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Anna Hazare’s Crusade against Corruption in India
Anna wants a Lokpal bill strong
Anna wants a Lokpal bill fast
Anna wants a Lokpal bill full
Anna wants a Lokpal bill now
Anna wants a Lokpal bill by fast
Anna wants a Lokpal bill first
Anna wants a Lokpal bill for all
Anna wants a Lokpal bill – his call
Anna wants a Lokpal bill now
Anna wants a Lokpal bill without delay
Anna wants a Lokpal bill, come what may
Anna wants a Lokpal bill even if it means death.
There is no turning back
There is no giving up the fast
There is no fear of arrest
There is no worry about death
For,
India needs an anti-corruption bill
India is monetarily seriously ill
India needs the honesty drill
India has its wealth outside but inside will
Bring the bill
Heed people’s will
Give them the fill
Heal those hearts ill.
Victory to India; victory to Lokpal Bill; victory to Anna!
Copyright by Dr John Celes 22-08-11
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Rose-Bud By My Early Walk
A Rose-Bud By My Early Walk
A rose-bud, by my early walk
Adown a corn-enclosèd bawk,
Sae gently bent its thorny stalk,
All on a dewy morning.
Ere twice the shades o' dawn are fled,
In a' its crimson glory spread,
And drooping rich the dewy head,
It scents the early morning.
Within the bush her covert nest
A little linnet fondly prest;
The dew sat chilly on her breast,
Sae early in the morning.
She soon shall see her tender brood,
The pride, the pleasure o' the wood,
Amang the fresh green leaves bedew'd,
Awauk the early morning.
So thou, dear bird, young Jeany fair,
On trembling string or vocal air,
Shall sweetly pay the tender care
That tents thy early morning!
So thou, sweet rose-bud, young and gay,
Shalt beauteous blaze upon the day,
And bless the parent's evening ray
That watch'd thy early morning!
poem by Robert Burns
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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At The First Sign Of Early Morning Light (Sicilian Septet)
At the first sign of early morning light
there is something strange and incandescent
that is disposing of the darkest night
and when it is over, suddenly spent,
my very own eyes have got the first sight
of a new day that is from heaven sent
and everything is crystal clear and bright.
poem by Gert Strydom
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Shock To The System
Woah yeah
It was a night, l.a., burning bright
Oh what a night
Say yeah,come on
It makes my world stand still
Ahh riot, rape, race and revolution, ah yeah
Here come the fire, and my world burns still
Yoww say yeah
Well, you can rock this land baby yowww
Like a shock to the system
I feel good, well alright
Like a shock to the system
Say yeah, aint it irie
It was a night
Hell of a night, l.a., it really was
Oh what a riot
I said yeah, come on
It makes my life feel real
Fear police and civil corruption oh yeah
Is there a man who would be king
And the world stood still
Ah yeah loud
You can rock this land baby
Yeahhh
Like a shock to the system
It feel good, well alright
Like a shock to the system
I said yeah, come on baby
Shock to the system
Feel good, well alright
Like a shock, shock to the system
I say yeah, I say yeah, I say yeah
Come on baby
Yeah, well you can rock this land baby
Like a shock, shock to the system
It feel good, well alright
Like a shock to the system
I say yeah
Aint it irie
Shock to the system
It feel good, well alright
Like a shock to the system
I say yeah
I say yeah
I say yeah, come on baby
Shock to the, shock to the
Shock to the system
Loud I gotta
Shock to the, shock to the
Shock to the system
Yeah I gotta
Shock to the, shock to the
Shock to the system
Yeah I gotta
Shock to the, shock to the
Shock to the system
You could be king
[laugh]
Or I could be king
Yeah well
You could be king
Or I could be king
Well I gotta
You could be king
Say it louder
The world still burns
You could be king
I could be king
Yeah well
You could be king
Say it louder
I could be king
You could be king
Say it louder
The world still burns
song performed by by Billy Idol
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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November Sunset
About five o clock,
the warm November day
just stops.
Bright afternoon
slams into evening
not even pausing
for twilight.
Blue sky
dims quickly
to violet,
but over ragged black canyons
the orange sun
lingers
and suddenly bursts
into astonishing gold.
Blithely ascending
the bright crescent
claims the cool
velvet night.
poem by Steven Federle
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Walk Where He Walked
There's a man on TV claims he killed 23
Burnt their bodies and collected their teeth
There's another man at home with his wife and family tree
Who agreed this would make a good movie?
And I'm sittin' here, wonderin' what this is all doin' to me
He sold the book rights, and he was set for life
A woman on a talk show wants to be his wife
Another man decides to purchase his knife
A court decides he's got the right
And I'm sittin' here, wonderin' how he can ever sleep at night
I don't want to walk where he walked
I don't want to talk to who he stalked
I don't want to walk where he walked
First it was a book, and then it was a movie
They cut it all up and they put it on the TV
The starring role was played by Christopher Reeves
He was fine, he was something to see
And I'm sitting here, wondering what this is all doing to me
I don't want to walk where he walked
I don't want to talk to who he stalked
I don't want to walk where he walked
Oh Lord I didn't catch how he got caught
song performed by by Wilco
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Gypsy Jill
They're hanging Bill at eight o' clock,
And millions will applaud.
He killed, and so they have to kill,
Such is the will of God.
His brother Tom is on my bed
To keep me comforted.
I see his bleary, blotchy face,
I hear his sodden snore.
He plans that he can take Bill's place;
I felt worse than a whore
As in his arms I cried all night,
Thinking of poor Bill's plight.
I keep my eyes upon the clock;
It nears the stroke of eight.
I think how bravely Bill will walk
To meet his gallows fate . . .
His loaded gun is in the tent,--
I know now what he meant.
Though Tom is boastful he will wed
With me, no more to part,
I'll put a bullet through his head,
Another through my heart:
At eight, stone-dead we three will be,
--Bill, Tom and me.
poem by Robert William Service
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Oh Pretty Woman
Written by Roy Orbison, Bill Bees
Pretty woman, walkin' down the street.
Pretty woman, the kind I'd like to meet,
Pretty woman, I don't believe you.
You're not the truth.
No one could look as good as you.
Mercy
Pretty woman, won't you pardon me.
Pretty woman, I couldn't help but see,
Pretty woman, you look lovely as can be.
Are you lonely just like me?
Kiss me
Pretty woman stop a while.
Pretty woman won't you talk a while.
Pretty woman give your smile to me.
Pretty woman, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pretty woman, won't you look my way.
Pretty woman, won't you say you'll stay with me.
'Cause I need you, hey I'll treat you right.
Come with me baby, you can be mine tonight.
ahhhhh, ahhhh
Pretty woman, hey don't walk on by.
Pretty woman, don't make me cry.
Pretty woman, don't you walk away, hey! OK.
If that's the way it must be, OK.
I guess I'll go on home, cause it's si late.
There'll be tomorrow night, BUT WAIT!
What do I see?
Is she walking back to me?
Yeah, she's walking back to me!
Wohoo PRETTY WOMAN!
song performed by by John Mellencamp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shock To The System
Released on cd singles leave virginia alone, 1995 (usa) and on youre the star, 1995 (europe)
(rod stewart/andy taylor)
Well she came from the motor city
From a clean white neighbor hood
She had a degree in social science
She came out here to hollywood
Shes a six foot sultry beauty
With an eye for polynisian art
In a short shirt and doctor martens
She could kick start a dead mans heart
Its not what she say
Its all in her sway
Shes a shock to the system
Its not how she talk
Its all in her walk
Its a shock to the system
Shes a rough cut sacred diamond
In a sea of mediocre style
She just wants the pro shot body
She may be crazy but shes no wild child
She have the old folks out on sundays
Plays piano in a rock and blues band
She dont drink, smoke, dope or do cocaine
But she parties hard all the same
Its not what she say
Its all in her sway
Shes a shock to the system
Its not how she talk
Its all in her walk
Shes a shock to the system
Oh yea
Shock me baby
Shock me baby
As I was walking home one night
In the streets that never sleep
In that sub terrainian part of town
Where love is never found
On a billboard on the topless place
I noticed her pretty face
It said appearing here twice nightly
(...........)
Well she had a whole lot of money
And went back home to michigan
She had maximized her potential
But didnt scandilaze the family name
Its not what she say
Its all in her sway
Its a shock to the system
Its not how she talk
Its all in her walk
Shes a shock to the system
Its not what she say
Its all in her sway
Its a shock to the system
Its not how she talk
Its all in her walk
Its a shock to the system
song performed by by Rod Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Colonel Buffalo Bill
Who's got the stuff that made the Wild West wild?
Who pleases ev'ry woman, man and child?
Who does his best to give the customers a thrill?
-Who?
Colonel Buff'lo Bill
Who's got the show that gets the most applause?
Five hundred Indians and fifty squaws
Ten feature acts and there's the special feature still
-Who?
Colonel Buff'lo Bill
Did you ever see a cowboy rope a steer?
-No, we haven't
Or an Indian with feathers throw a spear?
-No, we haven't
Or a marksman shoot an earring from an ear?
-No, we haven't
Did you ever see a hold up?
-No, sir
Then gather closer
And let me give you some of the atmosphere
The hour is midnight and all is still
We see the stagecoach climbing up a hill
Going along a mountain trail carrying passengers and mail
Never suspecting danger as they roll along
The watchful driver is in his seat
His trusty rifle lying at his feet
Some of the passengers inside seem to be dozing as they ride
Never suspecting there is something really wrong
Suddenly there's a shout
-What is it all about?
What is it all about you ask? It's Indians
-Indians!
Indians
-Indians!
Very notable, cut your throat-able Indians
-Indians!
Just when they've taken ev'ryone by force
Who makes an entrance on a big white horse?
Who starts a' shootin' till there's no one left to kill
-Gen'ral Grant?
No! Colonel Buff'lo Bill!
-Certainly this is quite a thrill, better than all the vaudeville
-Let us be on the go and see the show with Buff'lo Bill
song performed by by Irving Berlin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In The Morning
[Chorus:]
In the morning you'll be alright
In the morning the sun's gonna shine
In the morning no clouds in the sky
When it's dark in your light just wait for the
daylight
Someone tell me what's wrong
Why my nights last so long
It's gettin' hard to believe
You can hear me
Then you give me a sign
That You heard me pray
You let me know
This dark night won't last always
[Chorus]
So many ups and downs
You don't know where to start
So many nights you cried
Life was breakin' your heart
It may seem real hard
Ain't no help in sight
But don't you worry
About it tonight 'cause
[Chorus]
There's gonna be a day
It's gonna get cloudy
You can't see clear {You can't see clearly
song performed by by Mary Mary from Incredible
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Romany
(jennings)
Take me home
Sailing on with romany
To and fro on a icy morning
Feeling calm to have an old friend round
Feeling warm to see the wind blow down
Take me home
Where saints and children laughing
Tell the dutchman ships are passing
Feeling safe to reach the harbor sound
Feeling warm to see the wind blow down
Take me home
Leave the galley sailors talking
Leave the bridge and captains walking
Feeling naked on the covered ground
Feeling warm to see the wind blow down
The wind blowed
Down in the moonless light
The sea was dark
The breeze was light
Everyones thoughts were their own
Caught by the ocean thief
The bow hit on a coral reef
Romany sank like a stone
Chorus
Verse 1
song performed by by Hollies
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Caique
Yonder to the kiosk, beside the creek,
Paddle the swift caique.
Thou brawny oarsman with the sunburnt cheek,
Quick! for it soothes my heart to hear the Bulbul speak.
Ferry me quickly to the Asian shores,
Swift bending to your oars.
Beneath the melancholy sycamores,
Hark! what a ravishing note the lovelorn Bulbul pours.
Behold, the boughs seem quivering with delight,
The stars themselves more bright,
As mid the waving branches out of sight
The Lover of the Rose sits singing through the night.
Under the boughs I sat and listened still,
I could not have my fill.
'How comes,' I said, 'such music to his bill?
Tell me for whom he sings so beautiful a trill.'
'Once I was dumb,' then did the Bird disclose,
'But looked upon the Rose;
And in the garden where the loved one grows,
I straightway did begin sweet music to compose.'
'O bird of song, there's one in this caique
The Rose would also seek,
So he might learn like you to love and speak.'
Then answered me the bird of dusky beak,
'The Rose, the Rose of Love blushes on Leilah's cheek.'
poem by William Makepeace Thackeray
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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BillJim
Down to it is Plugger Bill,
Lyin' crumpled, white 'n' still.
Me 'n' him
Chips in when the scrap begins,
Carin' nothin' for our skins,
Chi-iked as the 'Eavenly Twins-
Bill 'n' Jim.
They 'ave outed Bill at last,
Slugged me cobber hard 'n' fast.
It's a kill.
See the purple of his lip
'N' the red 'n' oozy drip!
Ends our great ole partnership-
Jim 'n' Bill
Mates we was when we was kids;
Camp, 'n' ship, 'n' Pyramids,
Him 'n' me
Hung together, 'n' we tore
Up the heights from Helles shore,
Bill a long 'arf head afore,
Fine to see!
Then it was we took a touch-
Simple puncture, nothin' much;
But we lay
'N' we stays the count, it seems,
In a sorter realm of dreams
Where the sun infernal gleams
Night 'n' day;
Boilin', fryin' achin', dumb,
Waitin' till the stretchers come,
Patiently.
I hangs on to 'arf a cup.
Which I wants ole Bill to sup.
Damn if he ain't savin' up
His for me!
When they come to lift my head
I am softly kiddin' dead,
For a game,
So's they'll first take on his gills.
Over, though, me scheme he spills-
Bli'me, this ole take-down Bill's
Done the same!
But he isn't kiddin' now,
And it knocks me anyhow
Seein' him.
We was both agreed before,
Though it got 'em by the score,
Two was goin' to beat this war-
But 'n' Jim.
Mate o' mine, yiv stayed it through.
Hard luck, Bill-for me 'n' you
Hard 'n' grim.
They have got me Cobber true,
But I'm stickin' tight ez glue….
Bill, there's one who'll plug for two-
It is Jim!
poem by Edward George Dyson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dont Worry Baby
Well its been building up inside of me
For oh I dont know how long
I dont know why
But I keep thinking
Somethings bound to go wrong
But she looks in my eyes
And makes me realize
And she says dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Everything will turn out alright
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
I guess I shouldve kept my mouth shut
When I started to brag about my car
But I cant back down now
I pushed the other guys too far
She makes me come alive
And makes me wanna drive
When she says dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Everything will turn out alright
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
She told me baby, when you race today
Just take along my love with you
And if you know how much I loved you
Baby nothing could go wrong with you
Oh what she does to me
When she makes love to me
And she says dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Everything will turn out alright
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Never Promised You A Rose Garden
I beg your pardon
I never promised you a rose garden
Along with the sunshine, theres gotta be a little rain sometimes
I could promise you things,
Like big diamond rings
But if thats what it takes to hold you
Id as soon as let you go
But theres one thing I want you to know
Oh, smile for a while and lets be jolly
Love shouldnt be so melancholy
Come along, enjoy the good times while we can
I beg your pardon
I never promised you a rose garden
Along with the sunshine, theres gotta be a little rain sometimes
I said, oh oh oh oh, I beg your pardon
I never promised you a rose garden
song performed by by 10000 Maniacs
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Oil from Bill Shane
I got the oil: too right. A cove called Shane.
Yes; ole Bill Shane. You've 'eard of 'im, of course.
Big racin' 'ead. There's no need to explain
The things he don't know about a 'orse.
Good ole Bill Shane. They say he's made a pile
At puntin'. Shrewd! I wis I 'ad 'is brain.
An' does 'e know the game? Well, I should smile.
They can't put nothin' over ole Bill Shane.
Yes; Shane, Bill Shane ... Aw, listen, lad. Wake up!
Why everybody's 'eard of ole Bill Shane.
They say he made ten thousan' on the Cup
Last year, an' now he's got the oil again.
Wot? Owner? Trainer? Nah! Who 'eeds their guff?
Bill's a big racin' man - a punter. See?
Top dog. I alwiz sez wot's good enough
For ole Bill Shane is good enough for me.
Yes; he gave me the oil. I got it straight
Well, nearly straight. Of course, I've never spoke
To Bill 'imself direck. I got a mate
Wot knows a bloke wot knows another bloke
Wot's frien's with Shane, an' so - you un'erstand.
Wot? me give you the tip? Aw, take a walk!
Yeh think I'd do a thing so under'and?
Bill Shane would kill me if I was to talk.
Well, listen ... Now, for gosh sake, keep it dark.
An' don't let no one know it came from Shane.
Keep it strick secret. I would be a nark
To let you chuck yer money down the drain ...
Wazzat you said? He's scratched? 'Ere! Lemme look!
Scratched! Ain't that noos to knock a man clean out?
I alwiz said this puntin' game was crook ...
Who? Shane? Aw, I dunno. Some racin' tout.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Alone
The old man sits alone his mood not so bright
He lost his wife on a cold December night
She battled cancer with a long hard fight
He holds a candle and asks if I have a light
I sit beside him and try to make it right
Son he says, I`ve just about lost my sight
I have no future; I just lay in bed all night
And when the sun does rise, I just look away instead
I`ve worked hard all my life
I fell in love and married the sweetest wife
Now i feel as though i`ve been stabbed with a knife
He lights the candle, It was her birthday tonight
He pulls out a card and he begins to write
I love you sweetheart everythings alright
Son, can you walk with me tonight
Walk me to her grave site
So i can place this candle so she can have some light
In which she can see this card tonight
A tear falls from his cheek, son this is really hard
At that moment, we saw a shooting star
Son he said, now you can walk me to my car
poem by Joseph Whelan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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