John Shea

Memorial Day

I was a player of sports and was smart
My teachers were great

At eighteen I joined the corp
I was true to them and my family

Then in Iraq a blinding roadside flash
I felt no pain as my life ebbed like the tide

I looked down on the earth and saw mom and dad cry
I asked the angels why their pain
With tears in my eyes.

They said it's memorial day
As we flew away.

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Pain

The pain caused by my family and friends is the pain that would never go away
The pain in my heart is the same pain that kills me each and everyday
The pain in my soul runs like a hungry wolf
The pain in my eyes is transparent like rain in the sky
The pain that is in my mind looks like a flower with no life
This pain is death in my life because it killed me last night

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Once I Flew

Once I flew
And it made my fingertips sing
I was more like a God than a king
Now I cant believe that was true
Once I flew
Though you dont believe me I know
You look where Im standing now
You cant believe I left the ground.
Look up to the bright blue sky
Cant you feel life passing by
If you could wouldnt you
Try to soar over everything?
All the pain this world can bring
Once I flew now Ive lost my wings
Now Im down here with you
Now Im down here with you
Once I flew
And the angels were my friends
They would grant me every whim
Now I cant believe that was true
Once I flew
Though its easy to forget
I dont seem to have managed yet.
And I dont think I ever will
Look up to the bright blue sky
Cant you feel the life passing by?
If you could wouldnt you
Try to soar over everything?
All the pain this world can bring
Once I flew now Ive lost my wings
Now Im down here with you
Now Im down here with you.
And in my dreams I am happy again
Youre in my arms and were flying
Again, flying away.

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Gone To Forget To Leave

There are those who may choose to die.
For whatever reason...
Eyes are wanting to feel,
A realness and not a friction to absorb.
When platters of gold filled deceit,
Offer nothing else to be fed....
With a side order of sincerity seen,
Or felt to mention.

'Gone to forget to leave'

And the feasting of this is encouraged.

Until dishonesty is all that one dreads.
With a wish to numb the head,
From the stirrings that occur from truths.
And although the eating of deceit weakens,
On a daily basis when that addiction eats...
A cry goes unheard.
A sickening overwhelms...
And,
A wish to be released from it increases.

'Gone to forget to leave'

An encouraged emotionally abandoned mind...
Feeds until the peace of eternal rest has come,
Of what is wished.
And with a consciousness,
Desperately wanting transistion now a mission...
But never accepted to come from one so...
Talented and gifted!

But hurting from a place...
No one took the time to touch to get to know,
And so much pain was inside hiding.

And what was known to God,
Has joined the stars awaiting.
Pain was inside hiding.
Pain was inside hiding.

And what was known to God,
Has joined...
With the others worthy.

Pain was inside hiding.
Pain was inside hiding.

And what was known,
To God...
Has joined,
Eternity!

Goodbye to pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
No more pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
Gone is pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
There's no pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
Gone...
Pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
Gone...
Pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
Gone...
Pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
There's no pain inside there hiding,
Gone.
Gone to forget to leave.
That pain inside there hiding!
Gone to forget to leave.
That pain inside there hiding!
Gone to forget to leave.
There's no pain inside there hiding.
Gone to forget to leave.
Gone to forget to leave.
There's no pain inside there hiding.
Gone.
Gone to forget to leave.
Gone.
Gone to forget to leave.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Angels And Rain

i used to believe in heaven
that angel tears were the rain
i used to believe in heaven
then i felt pain
i felt pain like no other
course through my body
the vibrant green
a stinging hue
my heart is broken
but i never told you
i used to believe in heaven
but heaven took them away
i used to believe in angels
until they stole them away
i used to believe the rain was healing
now i see all it causes is pain
i used to believe in angels
like i used to believe in the rain.

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Feet First

i came into this world feet first
they told my mother
out of her three sons, i would be the one
always on the run.

i'd go through life without a care
the thoughts i had, i would not share.
i never stood around long enough for
anyone to get close to me
for too much pain i did see.

i joined the army, so i would not be
close to any family.
little did i know that my thoughts would change
and from here on, i would never be the same.

i played the field with all the girls
and told them whatever they wanted to hear.
but i also made it quite clear

that i was a man on the run
and not be put under the gun.

i was like the wind, here one minute and
gone the next, and i would not be a sacrificial test.
til the day that i went to the company dance
and glanced across the floor.
there she stood proud as can be
just as if she was waiting for me.

i walked across the floor like a fox
waiting for its prey.
she looked at me, and told me to go away.

astounded, dumbfounded, i could not believe.
i did this to others, not them to me.
i sucked in the air and put out my chest
of me she would not get the best.

i walked over to her again and asked her to dance
she looked at me and said 'not a chance'
my friends tell me that you're always on the run
but with me, you will have no fun.

i was born feet first just like you
but at least i knew what to do.
i know when to slow down and make it last
i don't dwindle on the past.

you're getting older and it's time
to settle down
but not one, with whom you've found.

because you have seen a lot of pain
does'nt mean that everyones the same.
open your heart so that you could see
all the beauty thats within me.

i apologized and asked if we could
start from scratch
for my ways i had to patch.

we started it off very slow
and i knew i had a long way to go.
but if i had her by my side
everything would turn out fine.

i told my family what i found.
and that i was settling down.
then i said to my family:

this is a comical, egotistical story
there is no fame, there is no glory.
i came out on the run, and now i'm
enjoying life, and having fun.

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Never Free

Never Free

I'm never free from this pain
This suffering is mine alone
I could have changed my path
But in the end it would be worse

This pain I feel is great
Nearly unbearable
But I asked to keep it
And I will not turn back
For that is not in my nature

I will never be free from this
Not until this life is through
This horrible pain has a familiar face
And yet it is unknown

It rips at me from all sides
Trying to pull me in
But I refuse to let it take over
For I am stronger than you give me credit for

I am not certain how long I can last
I am strong
But the pain only gets stronger
It will never subside even to let me heal
But then I never asked to heal

I could have stopped this
And taken the other path
I could have erased the cause of the pain
But that may have caused another pain
A pain that I refuse to live with

I never want to lose this though
I never intend to ask
I want to ask for more
I ask for the pain and suffering
Of everyone I know and love to rest on me
I want to share in their pain

I ask that no one share in my pain
For my pain is just too great
I am thankful for not giving in before
I did not want to feel it
I wanted to give up and let it have my life

I wish this on no one
This pain that forever binds me
This pain that is forever in my heart
Caused by no one other than myself
This pain that will forever leave me
Never free

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I've Lived My Life

I've lived my life and I'm only eighteen
I left the country for the city thought I was smart but I was silly
I should have known I'd get in trouble being so green
I've lived my life and I'm only eighteen
I met a boy and learned to love him I would have done anything for him
I've loved him more than anything I've ever seen
I've lived my life and I'm only eighteen
Only eighteen but it's all over I ruined my life to please my lover
I made him happy he made me cry then said goodbye
I've lived my life and I'm only eighteen
Only eighteen but it's all over...
I've lived my life and I'm only eighteen

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All I Can Say

The rumor spreads as fast as lighting.
The rumor of me being abusive to my brother.
So far, five other have come to me and asked if this was true.
I wanted to cry for I have never lay a hand on him.
But, I just looked at them with my deep brown eyes and said,
'All I can say is that the day I hurt him is the day when I die.'

The bullying spreads faster that an angry bull.
They bully me like we were little children.
I've already been called a loser, ugly, whore, and freak.
I try not to listen, but it grows harder and harder the more they do it.
But, I just looked at them with a silly look in my eyes and said,
'All I can say is that its your opinion of what I am.'

The pain grows larger inside of me.
The pain of a broken heart from losing my dear friend.
I've been holding back the tears so long.
Holding back just feel wrong.
So I burst into tears, while other in voices so cruel as me what's wrong. I just look at them, smile and say,
'All I can say is I'm tired of holding back the pain and the tears. So please, just leave me here.'

The day was long and trying.
My work was done.
Later that week people are crying over me.
I can not see but I can hear how they describe me.
With words that seemed like they never hurt me, I just lay motionless in that box and said in the sky,
'All I can say is, goodbye.'

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Tears Of Pain

Tears of pain stream down my although I know you're in a better place
Wishing I could see your face..,
Tears of pain stream down my face, I know you won the race.
All your pain finally ends, you and I were close friends,
Tears of pain stream down my face, I'll still be here in the end,
Tears of pain stream down my face this is something I can't take.
It wasn't fare for you to go; I have never felt a deeper hole.
Tears of pain stream down my face I feel
Your presence, in my place
I sure do miss that smiling face,
Tears of pain stream down my face,
You were the brightness to fill my greys,
Tears of pain stream down my face
I miss the feeling of embrace,
When looking at your wonderful face
Tears of pain stream down my face.
It came to soon, but your alright I try to talk to you every night.
now I know you're in a better place, The tears of pain have withered away.

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Words Of Tears..: '(

tears speak
what words can't speak
tears tell
what words can't tell
tears express
what words can't express
tears create the magic
what words can't create
pain tears heart
pain tears the life
pain has teared my heart
pain has teared my life
the pain he gave me
i can't forget
i still remember
his breath
his voice still rings in my ear
his presence is still felt
i seem to see his face in the crowd
why? why?
his soul lives on in me
yet it is the physical frame
why can i feel his pain
is it that thread of love
that binds us till restrain..

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Evergreen State

'No, little Johnny, raindrops are really just
the tears of sweet angels, who cry. Cry
because of sins that people commit,
and that is why, my smart and curious boy,
we get rain so often in Washington State'.

'Oh, so we have a lot of sinners here, then
and that is why it is called the Evergreen State? '
'Well, yes. I have lived here all my life,
all my friends live here and, as to being sinners,
I think it is more because of the tears, salty they are,
they bring down moisture and salt, my boy,
that, in the end, creates the salt of the earth,
and your grandpa is part of that. No sinner.
So, when the angels cry, you can watch the grass grow.'

'But grandpa, that means the more I sin the greener
and faster the grass grows, that feeds our cows,
makes more milk, steaks for the BBQ and, of course,
more salt of the earth. Right, old man, or not? '

'Smart boy you are, if I do say so myself. Smart.
So, how are you doing in school, behaving yourself? '

'Salt of the earth, grandpa, salt of the earth.'

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The Pain I Can Control

The pain I can control
The pain that makes me whole
The pain that stops and brings some tears
The pain that erases all my fears
The pain that I inflict with this knife
The pain that might be last in my life
The pain that brought me to my knees
The pain that woahed me full of pleas
The pain that made me see the light
The pain that is bringing me home tonight
The pain that is wrong and bitter
The pain that makes me feel fitter
The pain that my friends say is wrong
The pain that makes me feel so strong
The pain that makes my friend sad, and cry
The pain that makes her want to die
The pain thats not just pain to me
The pain that makes everyone see
The pain that thats tearing me apart
The pain thats ripping apart my heart
The pain that I'm addicted to
The pain I can't give up. Not even for you..

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Plain Pain

Ask Caser, what true pain is
A tale of true Pain, A story of his
Doubly pain when stabbed by ones’ own
Dying disgusted and disregarded
Merciless, rejoicing even after he is dead
He dies disturbed; souls like his never are free
Dies with the most unfamiliar words “Et tu, Brute
Death that brings merriness to a mob
A life that has been rob
What a pain it must have been
I for one have seen
A far worse scene
Real pain is that pain that is felt fresh
A would that pierces heart
Is fatal that a skinned flesh
Like a broken heart drowning in wine
True pain is either yours or mine

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Pain Pain by cedrick dennis

Pain Pain over here pain over there Pain in my heart pain in my soul Pain in my mind Pain in my skin pain in my bones Pain being caused left and right Pain being caused till the heart bleeds red Pain being caused till the skin and bone rip Pain being caused till you break into tears Pain at school Pain at home Pain in my head, pain in my heart Pain in my mind, pain in my soul Pain happening in my sleep Pain happening in my thoughts Pain happening when I’m alone Pain happening in the shower, in my room, in my bed, in my house where I’m all alone Pain happening every hour, every minute, every second of my life Pain caused by anger and hate Pain caused by hurt Pain caused by greed Pain caused by sorrow and depression Pain caused by grief and confusion Pain caused by your family and friends Pain caused by the world Pain caused by people you love Pain driving me crazy Causing me to take pills till it fills up my veins I go to sleep never to wake up and see that light The light that will end my pain for good

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The Arrow

An arrow flew right through the air.
It flew from your eyes to my heart.
I felt the pierce but did not care
for I let the pain depart.

Only the pleasure from the eyes that sent it
was what I looked upon.
I knew I could withstand many arrows
until your eyes were gone.

Cupid, Cupid where have you been?
I didn't know you exist.
I thought you were just a fable
with a fictitious list.

But that list included me at last
and the arrow was so real.
I accepted it and praised it
for how it made me feel.

poem by Edwina ReizerReport problemRelated quotes
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The Last Love Song

Precious Family... Dearest Family...
Love's... sweet.... message....I impart....
May loves's.. spirt...pure... and fervid.....
Enter...every... troubled heart.........

Carry there...love's swift conviction....
Turning back...those... tear filled life's....
Precious Family... Dearest Family.....
May love....In our souls.. abide..........

Precious Family.... Dearest family....
I am weak...... but love..is strong..........
Love.. has.....infinite compassion.......
To stem the tides... of pain's.... and wrong's.....


Love keep's... its arms.... around me........
Love keep's..... me... in the narrow.. way......
Precious Family....Dearest family........
Let us never... from love... stray............


Precious Family... Dearest Family....
Love will bind.....those broken.... hearts.....
So let..not sorrows... over.. whelm..us.....
Dry the bitter tears.... that smart.....


Love curbs the winds.. calms the bil....lows
Oh bid.... this angry tempest... cease......
Precious Family.... My Dearest Family
Love gave me... everlasting.....peace.....

One day if my family should ever read this, or if anyone else should?
I want them to know that, only with true love, can we turn back those life's of abuse...! You see abuse has held my family in a prison, that has no bars! No cells! No doors! So....

Maybe one day they will understand
This dream of mine
How great and glorious, love complete
They'll find
For redemption, forgiveness
It is true love's grand design
For when and where
Justice, love and mercy meet.
Its a harmony - So- devine
And fact is
Love is the only dream of mine

So love marks my path and leads my way
For my pains and tears, at every point
Love re-de-fines
To light and life and endless summer days
Love is this dream... of mine....

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Dolls

She said: "I am too old to play
With dolls," and put them all away,
Into a box, one rainy day.

I think she must have felt some pain,
She looked so long into the rain,
Then sighed: "I'll bring you out again;

"For I'll have little children too,
With sunny hair and eyes of blue
And they will play and play with you.

"And now good-bye, my pretty dears;
There in the dark for years and years,
Dream of your little mother's tears."

Eglantine, Pierrot and Marie Claire,
Topsy and Tiny and Teddy Bear,
Side by side in the coffer there.

Time went by; one day she kneeled
By a wooden Cross in Flanders Field,
And wept for the One the earth concealed;

And made a vow she would never wed,
But always be true to the deathless dead,
Until the span of her life be sped.

    *    *   
*    *    *   
*    *

More years went on and they made her wise
By sickness and pain and sacrifice,
With greying tresses and tired eyes.

And then one evening of weary rain,
She opened the old oak box again,
And her heart was clutched with an ancient pain

For there in the quiet dark they lay,
Just as they were when she put them away...
O but it seemed like yesterday!

Topsy and Tiny and Teddy Bear,
Eglantine, Pierrot and Marie Claire,
Ever so hopefully waiting there.

But she looked at them through her blinding tears,
And she said: "You've been patient, my pretty dears;
You've waited and waited all these years.

"I've broken a promise I made so true;
But my heart, my darlings, is broken too:
No little Mothers have I for you.

"My hands are withered, my hair is grey;
Yet just for a moment I'll try to play
With you as I did that long dead day...

"Ah no, I cannot. I try in vain . . .
I stare and I stare into the rain . . .
I'll put you back in your box again.

"Bless you, darlings, perhaps one day,
Some little Mother will find you and play,
And once again you'll be glad and gay.

"But when in the friendly dark I lie,
No one will ever love you as I . . . .
My little children . . . good-bye . . . good-bye."

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Time & Tears

I didnt cry all of these tears just to have you show up here again
I didnt lie awake all these nights to have you come walking back in
I didnt change my whole life around, not to mention my dreams and my plans
To have you come back with your same ol act thinking that Ill understand
Time and tears have mended the pain
Healed all the hurt and changed everything
Time and tears Im happy to say
Time and tears have washed it away
Time and tears have washed you away
I didnt think that I would survive the day that you walked out on me
I truly was more dead than alive; and the pain, lord I couldnt believe
I asked God to please have mercy on me and to ease all the feelings I felt
Then I saw the light, now Im more than alright;
Im much better off since you left
Time and tears have mended the pain
Healed all the hurt and changed everything
Time and tears have carried me through
Time and tears got me over you
Time and tears and somebody new
Time and tears is all that it takes
To mend shattered hopes or a heart when it breaks
Time and tears have carried me through
Time and tears got me over you
Time and tears and somebody new
Time and tears, time and tears got me over you
Time and tears, got me over you

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Time And Tears

I didn't cry all of these tears just to have you show up here again
I didn't lie awake all these nights to have you come walking back in
I didn't change my whole life around, not to mention my dreams and my plans
To have you come back with your same ol' act thinking that i'll understand
Time and tears have mended the pain
Healed all the hurt and changed everything
Time and tears i'm happy to say
Time and tears have washed it away
Time and tears have washed you away
I didn't think that i would survive the day that you walked out on me
I truly was more dead than alive; and the pain, lord i couldn't believe
I asked god to please have mercy on me and to ease all the feelings i felt
Then i saw the light, now i'm more than alright;
I'm much better off since you left
Time and tears have mended the pain
Healed all the hurt and changed everything
Time and tears have carried me through
Time and tears got me over you
Time and tears and somebody new
Time and tears is all that it takes
To mend shattered hopes or a heart when it breaks
Time and tears have carried me through
Time and tears got me over you
Time and tears and somebody new
Time and tears, time and tears got me over you
Time and tears, got me over you

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Our Pain

Pain is only remembered while there.
As it leaves, it's lost.
Only the body remembers the cost
and the mind remembers the prayer.
It suppliantly asked
for the pain to subside
and felt the tears
that the body cried.

'Please make it stop. Can't take anymore.
And when it's gone, is there more in store? '
Probably somewhere down the line
but while it's gone, you're doin' fine.
So enjoy the pain free times you get
when future pain is not here yet.

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