Mouse Droppings
When she saw brown dots upon the rug,
and more upon a chair.
The poor housewife was certain
several mice resided there.
“I’ll need a cat. Or perhaps two,
quite possibly I’ll need four.”
“This quantity of scat demands
a feline killing corps.”
Just then her rotund husband
opportunely wandered in.
with a bag of Nestle morsels
and brown stains upon his chin.
She watched him munch a handful,
several dropping to the floor
Hard to believe someone that fat
had ever missed his maw.
No killer cats were needed
if spouse droppings was the source.
What the housewife really needed
was a lucrative divorce.
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
A Housewife's Lament
I've had enough of the kitchen sink
So I think I'll pour myself a drink,
The hoovering has all been done,
Oh a housewife's life is full of fun!
The vodka helps me pass the day
And drives my empty blues away,
What would my husband really think
If he knew that I was on the brink
Of a nervous breakdown like my friend,
The neighbour who 'went round the bend'?
Can you imagine what he'd do
When all his mates and colleagues knew
His wife was in the loony-bin,
Oh what a terrible social sin! !
It wouldn't be long before divorce
(MY fault indeed, not HIS, of course!)
But then, at last, I would be free
And escape this bourgeois tyranny,
I'd get a job and buy a flat
And say goodbye to all of that!
And I would be so very happy
Never to change some baby's nappy,
Never to feel I was second rate,
Heavens above, it would be great! !
Well you have listened to my tale,
One housewife's long and bitter wail,
So come and join me for some tea,
Some valium and sympathy! !
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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House Wife Affair
I been having my housewife affair for awhile
which my husband doesn't even care about!
They are all performed in the comfort of the home
And I never have to ever dress up, or go out!
These men that live in our home
are Kenmore, and then that other fella, Hover!
They're my kind of secret men!
They are shakers and, real movers!
One takes me around and around the house
as he sweeps me across, clean floors!
The other pampers my clothes in bubbles
and sometimes, even helps me, clean above the doors!
Then one can be as cold as ice!
But does take me to the kitchen to dine.
And sometimes makes me coffee
Aromas, waking me up, before the stoke of nine.
I don't think I'll let my husband in on it
these other men I have in my life!
I'll just pretend, that they're my secret lovers
helping just another, imaginative, overworked, housewife!
poem by Linda Winchell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Chameleons
We are all chameleons
We change our faces
As needed.
We change our thoughts
As needed.
We change our actions
As needed.
We change our values
As needed.
We change our principles
As needed.
We change our morals
As needed.
We change our love
As needed.
And our vows to God
As needed.
How sad
Poor Chameleons!
poem by Rich Young
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Last year, I made a refrigerator in my basement. And I needed to because I needed to figure how - you know there is no such thing as ""cold."" There is only less heat.
quote by Alton Brown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Take,Take,Take
was sitting there in a comfortable chair
And that was all that I needed
Then my friend offered me a drink for us to share
And that was all that I needed
Well, then I felt at ease
But then I'm not too hard to please
I guess you couldn't call me greedy
Then I was shocked to look up
And see rita hayworth there in a place so seedy
She walked into the bar with her long, red, curly hair
And that was all that I needed
And I said to my friend, "good god, we're lucky men just to even see her"
Take, take, take
Take, take, take
Take, take, take
And I could not resist, I just had to get close to her
And that was all that I needed
I walked and loomed around her table for a while
And that was all that I needed
Then I said, "i hate to bug you, ma'am, but can I have your autograph?"
And that was all that I needed
She pressed her lips against a white piece of paper
And that was all that I needed
Then I saw what she wrote, my heart is in my mouth
And that was all that I needed
Then she handed it to me, and I think that she could see
That that was all that I needed
I started to walk away but then I remembered 'hey, I forgot to get a picture'
So I asked her one more time, "could I have another favor?"
That was all that I needed
She was kind and posed with me
Then I knew my friend would see my celebrity meeting
Take, take, take
Take, take, take
Take, take, take
She turned and said to me, "I need to go to sleep,"
And it seemed so mean
It's almost as if she could not appreciate how cool I was being
She said, "good night" and walked away
And I didn't know what to say
I just couldn't believe it
Well, it's just not fair
I want to get a piece of hair
That was all that I needed
Or maybe a kiss on the cheek
I wouldn't wash it for a week
That would be all that I needed
But she didn't even care
That I was even there
What a horrible feeling
song performed by by White Stripes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sandra
BY BARRY MANILOW AND ENOCH ANDERSON
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She's a great little housewife
Though sometimes she talks like a fool
But she helps at the store in the holiday rush
And she picks up the kids after school
And she puts down the phone when her husband comes home
And she changes from mother to wife
'Til she feels the words hanging between them
And she hangs by her words to her life
She says I swear I love my husband, I love my kids
I wanted to be like my mother
But if I hadn't done it as soon as I did
Oh there might have been time to be me
For myself, for myself
There's so many things that she wishes
She don't even know what she's missin'
And that's how she knows that she missed
She's a sweetheart, except when she's moody
It's hard to get through to her then
Depressed for a while when the youngest was born
Oh but that happens now and again
She might take a drink with the housework
Or when Michael's kept late at the shop
A Martini or two before dinner
But she always knows when to stop
She says I swear I love my husband and I love my kids
You know I wanted to be like my mother
But if I hadn't done it as soon as I did
Oh there might have been time to be me
For myself, for myself
There's so many things that she wishes
She don't even know what she's missin'
And that's how she knows that she missed
Oh they used to hold hands at the movies
Now it's seldom if ever they go
Once you've paid for the sitter and parkin' the car
There's no money left for the show
She was doing the dishes
When a glass fell and broke on the tile
And she cut her wrist (quite by mistake)
It was real touch and go for a while
She says Oh God I love my husband and I love my kids
You know I wanted to be like my, my mother
But if I hadn't done it as soon as I did
Oh there might have been time to be me
For myself, for myself
There's so many things that she wishes
She don't even know what she's missin'
And that's how she knows that she missed
song performed by by Barry Manilow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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on the Junta Killing Burmese headline
the housewife asks 'Well,
is that something new? '
haiku by John Tiong Chunghoo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A housewife who complains that there is not enough foodstuff in the market should remember that if her husband adds to what is already available, there would be more for everyone.
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
quote by Roseanne Barr
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fight
Red drips from my chin where I have been eating.
Not all the blood, nowhere near all, is wiped off my mouth.
Clots of red mess my hair
And the tiger, the buffalo, know how.
I was a killer.
Yes, I am a killer.
I come from killing.
I go to more.
I drive red joy ahead of me from killing.
Red gluts and red hungers run in the smears and juices
of my inside bones:
The child cries for a suck mother and I cry for war.
poem by Carl Sandburg
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sandra
(barry manilow / enoch anderson)
Shes a great little housewife
Though sometimes she talks like a fool
But she helps at the store in the holiday rush
And she picks up the kids after school
And she puts down the phone
When her husband comes home
And she changes from mother to wife
til she feels the words hanging between them
And she hangs by her words to her life
She says....
I swear I love my husband
I love my kids
I wanted to be like my mother
But if I hadnt done it as soon as I did
Oh, there might have been time to be me for myself, for myself
So many things that she wishes
She dont even know what shes missing
And thats how she knows that she missed
Shes a sweetheart except when shes moody
Its hard to get through to her then
Depressed for a while when the youngest was born
Ah, but that happens now and again
Ah, she might take a drink with the housework
Or when michaels kept late at the shop
A martini or two before dinner
But she always knows when to stop
She says....
I swear I love my husband
And I love my kids
And, though I wanted to be like my mother
But if I hadnt done it as soon as I did
Oh, there might have been time to be me for myself, for myself
So many things that she wishes
She dont even know what shes missing
And thats how she knows that she missed
Oh, they used to hold hands at the movies
Now its seldom, if ever, they go
Once you pay for the sitter, and parking the car
Theres no money left for the show
She was doing the dishes
When a glass fell and broke on the tile
And she cut her wrist, quite by mistake
It was real touch and go for a while
She says....
Oh god, I love my husband
And I love my kids
Well, I wanted to be like my mother
But if I hadnt done it as soon as I did
Oh, there might have been time to be me for myself, for myself
So many things that she wishes
She dont even know what shes missing
And thats how she knows that she missed
song performed by by Dusty Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Killing Time
(originally recorded by sweet savage)
Sound of gunfire comes through the night
Killing and hatred, its a terrible sight
Reports come in of the heavy attack
Message is seen, were moving back
Preparations are made for the journey back
Its a survival, supplies are packed
No more nights in this eternal hell
Destination is simple, we move out
Killing time - you left from the line
Killing time - your turn to kill
Killing time - what do you say?
Killing time - aha, killing time
And he knew what he needed to keep us alive
No time for cowardice, kill and survive
Like a killer kid with a switchblade knife
Nasty word, hell take your life
The silence is over, they attack again
Killing and hatred drive me insane
Reports come in of a heavy attack
Message is seen, were moving back
Killing time - you left from the line
Killing time - your turn to kill
Killing time - what do you say?
Killing time - aha, killing time
Sound of gunfire comes through the night
Killing and hatred, its a terrible sight
Reports come in of a heavy attack
Message is seen, were moving back
And he knew what he needed to keep us alive
No time for cowardice, kill and survive
Like a killer kid with a switchblade knife
Nasty word, hell take your life
Killing time - you left from the line
Killing time - your turn to kill
Killing time - what do you say?
Killing time - aha, killing time
song performed by by Metallica
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Brown And The Blue...
it is not between blue
or brown
it brown within the
coolness of blue
it is when the brown
is let go
when the blue rests
on the floor
as brown and scarlet
seek each other's hold.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Jackie Brown
Is this your life, jackie brown?
Poorly educated and forced to live on the poor side of town.
Is this your daughter, jackie brown?
This pretty little girl
In the worn out clothes
That have been hand-me down.
Is this your wife, jackie brown?
With sad blue eyes, walking on eggshells so you dont see her frown.
Is this your family, jackie brown?
Dream of vacationing on a mountain stream
And giving the world more than it gave you.
What ugly truths freedom brings
And it hasnt been very kind to you.
Is this your life, jackie brown?
Is this your meal, jackie brown?
Barely enough, Ive seen people throw away more than this out.
Is this your home, jackie brown?
This three room shack
With no running water
And the bathroom out back.
Is this your grave, jackie brown?
This little piece of limestone that says another desperate man took
Himself out.
Is this your dream, jackie brown?
Going nowhere and nowhere fast
We shame ourselves to watch people like this live.
But who gives a damn about jackie brown?
Just another lazy man who couldnt take what was his.
One helluva life jackie brown.
Forevermore, jackie brown
Amen and amen - jackie brown?
song performed by by John Mellencamp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Gone Are Touches Missed
When ghost shadows came,
To join a heart with stains left...
From a raining that seemed not to end.
Inside undried eyes,
Remained open but vacant.
And wanting to be absent of pain.
Those feelings one once had,
Now no longer needed as bad.
Since gone are touches missed.
Gone with them are those missed lips,
Remembered and again wished to kiss...
If only the clouds were not allowed to linger.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sugar And Spice And Fourteen Blind Mice
Sugar and Spice and fourteen blind mice
sat in a room way up in the barn.
the name of the cat was Sugar and Spice
fourteen blind mice, they were spinning a yarn.
As you can picture, the odds were unfair,
though none of the mice had been overly wise
a mad starving hunter to sit there and stare
planning the strategy of a surprise.
How can a cat catch so many at once?
Only with claws and a growling old gut
cats do not utilise swords, spears and guns
this one just sat on her soft furry butt.
The night was soon over and all things were the same
all the mice had been snoozing, unaware of the foe
in the cold of the morning now the cat sought to aim
its formidable powers like a young feline pro.
But a god now took mercy and he told all the mice
that united you stand and divided you fall,
so they jumped on the cat, and they squeezed like a vise
and the end of the frenzy wasn't pretty at all.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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If I Needed You
(townes van zandt)
If I needed you
Would you come to me
Would you come to me
For to ease my pain
If you needed me
I would come to you
I would swim the seas
For to ease your pain
Well the nights forlorn
And the mornings born
And the morning shines
With the lights of love
And youll miss sunrise
If you close your eyes
And that would break
My heart in two
If I needed you
Would you come to me
Would you come to me
For to ease my pain
If you needed me
I would come to you
I would swim the seas
For to ease your pain
Babys with me now
Since I showed her how
To lay
Her lilly
Hand in mine
Who would ill agree
Shes a sight to see
A treasure for
The poor to find
If I needed you
Would you come to me
Would you come to me
For to ease my pain
If you needed me
I would come to you
I would swim the seas
For to ease your pain
song performed by by Emmylou Harris
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Favorite blanket
When I was very little
I had a favorite blanket
I named her (For to me that
fluffy piece of fabric with
threads hanging off it,
was a girl) Yes I named her
Boobie
Now boobie was 'brown'
with small flecks of 'fawn'
she Hung by my side from dusk
until dawn.
One day as I sat in my 'beige' child's seat
with a 'chocolate' ice cream I was trying to eat
it melted and covered me from head to my feet
my boobie and I were stuck to the seat
Chocolate everywhere
Everything turned 'brown' including the 'beige'
little chair I now found.
Mummy would be so angry I knew
so I decided on what I must do
I gathered the mess
took it into the bath
filled up the tub
and then for a laugh
chucked in the chair with me and my clothes
funny thing happened the water just rose
over it flowed onto the floor
a sticky 'chocolate brown' water ran out the door
I remember Mummy did not think it fun
when she saw the mess and what I had done
She sent me to think about things in my room
with my soggy 'brown' blanket
to help ease my gloom
poem by Janice M Pickett
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The Seahorse
The seahorse doesn’t do divorce:
It picks a spouse for life.
The wife’s the husband and, perforce,
The husband is the wife.
A husband, feeling rightly proud
(As husbands are, of course) ,
Will say of her who’s well endowed:
‘My wife’s hung like a horse.’
poem by South Westerner
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Three Mice Who Hoped
Six mice stared out their door.
The Cat was crouching there.
“Have hope! ” one cried.
“The Dog will come and scare it away! ”
But one mouse ran out, gave up.
In the jaws of Cat he died.
Five mice stared out their door.
Still the feline purred.
“Have hope! ” one cried.
”The Dog will be here soon! ”
But one mouse could wait no more.
In the jaws of Cat she died.
Four mice stared out their door.
The Cat was waiting for them, too.
“Have… hope…” one said.
But one mouse snapped and darted out.
And soon, in jaws of Cat, was dead.
Three mice stared out their door.
The Cat sat ready, claws extended.
“Have… h-hope…” one said.
But one mouse squealed and started –
The one who’d spoken held her down.
“Have hope! ”
For hours more the three mice sat.
The watched, trembling, the mighty Cat.
But still: “Have hope! ” they cried.
Then came the Dog.
The Cat scurried away to hide.
The mice were free at last.
poem by Sophia White
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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