Kobayashi Maru
My gleaming white constellation class Starship
(My dirty white Chrysler K car)
was out on patrol near the neutral zone
(I was driving back home from the bar)
It was then I received a distress call
(I urgently needed to pee)
Some Klingons decloaked in proximity
(I sped past a cop car or three)
I called for more speed from the engine room!
(My transmission started to shake)
Klingons pursued in the neutral zone
(They motioned to me HIT THE BRAKE!)
“What seems to be the Tribble, Officer? ”
I said to the humorless Gorn
That Klingon impounded my vehicle
(Because they caught me exceeding Warp Nine)
If Kirk faced this “no Win” situation
He’d probably get off with a fine.
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Dirty White Boy
Hey, baby, if youre feelin down
I know whats good for you all day
Are you worried what your friends see
Will it ruin your reputation lovin me
cause Im a dirty white boy
Yeah a dirty white boy
A dirty white boy
Dont drive no big black car
Dont like no hollywood movie star
You want me to be true to you
You dont give a damn what I do to you
Im just a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Well, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
A dirty white boy
Ive been in trouble since I dont know when
Im in trouble now and I now somehow Ill find trouble again
Im a loner, but Im never alone
Every night I get one step closer to the danger zone
cause Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Cmon, cmon boy
Dirty white boy, white boy
Dirty white boy, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Hey, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, Im a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy, yeah
song performed by by Foreigner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Just Stuck In A Warp, Zone
Stuck in a warp,
Zone.
And united with those delighted.
To never be made convinced,
Common sense is beneficial.
Just stuck in a warp,
Zone.
And united with those delighted.
To...
Never be made convinced,
Common sense is beneficial.
Stuck in a warp,
Zone.
So far out they're looking down at stars.
Stuck in a warp,
Zone.
Not one of them has heard of Jupiter OR Mars.
Stuck in a warp,
Zone.
Sniffin', snortin', totin', weezin'.
Stuck in a warp,
Zone.
Hackin', coughin', chokin', sneezin'.
Stuck in a warp,
Zone.
And united with those delighted.
To never be made convinced,
Common sense is beneficial.
Sniffin', snortin', totin', weezin'.
Stuck in a warp,
Zone.
Hackin', coughin', chokin', sneezin'.
Stuck in a warp,
Zone.
Noddin', dozin', sleepin' deepened.
Stuck in a warp,
Zone.
Noddin', dozin', sleepin' deepened.
Stuck in a warp,
Zone.
Noddin', dozin', sleepin' deepened.
Stuck in a warp,
Zone.
And united with those delighted.
To...
Never be made convinced,
Common sense is beneficial
Stuck in a warp,
Zone.
Just stuck in a warp,
Zone.
Stuck in a warp,
Zone.
Just stuck in a warp,
Zone.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Klingons are born, live as warriors, then die.
Danger Zone
Revvin up your engine
Listen to her howlin roar
Metal under tension
Beggin you to touch and go
Highway to the danger zone
Ride into the danger zone
Headin into twilight
Spreadin out her wings tonight
She got you jumpin off the deck
And shovin into overdrive
Highway to the danger zone
Ill take you
Right into the danger zone
Youll never say hello to you
Until you get it on the red line overload
Youll never know what you can do
Until you get it up as high as you can go
Out along the edges
Always where I burn to be
The further on the edge
The hotter the intensity
Highway to the danger zone
Gonna take you
Right into the danger zone
Highway to the danger zone
song performed by by Kenny Loggins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Old Boy Racer (Fun Poem 132)
While driving home one day
my old car blew up on me
and the transmission went kaput.
Upon getting another car,
I chose a smaller one,
the kind boy racers own.
Suddenly I became a speed demon
driving down the motorway doing a ton
with the wind ruffling
through the remaining hair I had.
One day while really pushing it,
blue lights began flashing behind me.
The cops told me to pull over,
which at once I did.
An officer approached my car
with me crammed behind the wheel.
'What speed do you think you were doing? '
'I don't know officer I couldn't see the speedo.'
'I clocked you at doing a 110.'
'Really! ' I said
as he wrote me out a ticket.
'I'd advise you to adjust your seat
so you can see the speedo.'
'Yes officer I will do that.' I replied.
I sat there for a moment;
a smile crept across my face.
My son will no believe it
when I show him the ticket.
He'll probably say
the Police had it wrong,
the ticket was probably for going slow.
I drove off after the Police had gone,
my foot to the floor again.
Back into my boy racer mode,
but in my case now
it was an old boy racer mode.
25-26 April 2012
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I think the idea of the obstruction through the neutral zone and away from the puck was an excellent rule.
quote by Mark Messier
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Caught In The Crossfire
(myles goodwyn)
Published by northern goody two tunes, ltd./capac - ascap
On assignment to the new world
They said thered be more chance for war
Missed the shuttle to the main star
They promised theyd be back for more, oh yeah
Then the warships came without a sound
There were at least a hundred of them bearing down
Caught in the crossfire
Caught in a world insane, lord
War of the empire
No one will be the same, oh
Caught in the crossfire
Caught in a new age war, we were
I heard somebody say wed be wasted
Under fire we were without defense
My buddy said he had a space van
A long range cruiser, it was our only chance, oh yeah
We could see no way out but one
There was no choice but to try and run
Caught in the crossfire
Caught in a world insane, lord
War of the empire
No one will be the same, oh
Caught in the crossfire
Caught in a new age war, we were
Odyssey, laser fight
One shot, last fight
Passed the warships through the neutral zone
Our engines sheared the night as we raced for home
Caught in the crossfire
Caught in a world insane, lord
War of the empire
No one will be the same, oh
Caught in the crossfire
Caught in a new age war, we were
Caught in the crossfire
Caught in a new age war
song performed by by April Wine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Danger Zone
Shaking off the tresholds of a long forgotten dream
And you just can't make it last
Coaching paradise on a personal line
But you get fired to fast
And you lie, memories drifting by
Love don't make it on those pin-striped nights
When you're looking through someone's disguise
You can't make it alone, so you gotta make a move
But you're looking at nobody's eyes
Well that's love, or maybe love come and go
Looking for love is a danger zone
Love don't go begging in the danger zone
You won't get nothing from the danger zone
Tales that you tell from the stories that you'll hear
And you'll get what you can while you may
Don't understand when you're looking for a dame
But it's only a heartbreak away
And you'll learn, faking has no return
No way when you're feeling that way
Will your feet get caught up in the crowd
And the song that you sing is too soft to be heard
But your speakers are way too loud
Like the pain, loving is no big game
Looking for love is a danger zone
No don't go living in the danger zone
You won't get nothing from the danger zone
Don't take no chances in the danger zone
Love don't go begging in the danger zone
No don't go living in the danger zone
You won't get nothing from the danger zone
Don't take no chances in the danger zone
Love don't go begging in the danger zone
song performed by by Rainbow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Klingons are a proud race, and we intend to go on being proud.
Steppin In A Slide Zone
I took a ride in a limousine
I took a road Id never been
I met a stranger by the way
His coat was torn but his eyes were clear
Standing in a slide zone
I could be steppin in a slide zone
He told me where a river flows
He showed me how the apple grows
He told me of a magic stream
His face was worn but his eyes were clear
Standing in a slide zone
I could be steppin in a slide zone
Standing in a slide zone
I could be steppin through a time zone
He went to find a shooting star
Around the bend thats where they are
I went along just for the ride
Suddenly I began to glide
Standing in a slide zone
I could be steppin through a time zone
The air raced by there was no sound
We drifted high above the ground
And then said you know this place
And then a smile lit up his face
Standing in a slide zone
I could be steppin in a slide zone
Standing in a slide zone
I could be steppin through a time zone
I turned my head and looked below
And there was something there I know
Suddenly I began to fall
I looked around and tried to call
Standing in a slide zone
He had me steppin in a time zone
Standing in a slide zone
Falling through a time zone
Help me please I thought I said
Then something happened in my head
Music came from all around
And I knew what I had found
Standing in a slide zone
Falling through a time zone
Steppin in a slide zone
He had me falling through a time zone
song performed by by Moody Blues
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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