There once was a tenant from Dent
Who's nose was all battered and bent;
His Landlord was mad
And he felt rather glad
He'd attacked him for missing his rent.
quote by by John Carter Brown
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Whether it was the tenant who seduced the landlord's wife, or the landlord who seduced the tenant's wife, it is the tenant who would leave the house.
Opera or Ballet
Oh joyous delight - finally reached the end of
my lovely Agreement, it should be an opera
sung to the music of Carmina Burana - if a
ballet, danced to the courtiers’ march in
Romeo and Juliet, the climax amazing
The tenant should fund the bill for drafting and
signing the serious contract, the self-satisfied
landlord can inspect and evict as he likes, the
effacing tenant had better beware - I see two
men in Victorian clothing - fencing
About the nefarious terms, no favours shall
nullify the terms by which the landlord can
pocket the deposit, any wrong step made
by the tenant shall render beneficial
occupation impossible - Should the
tenant improve the premises, no advantage
shall accrue to him, should the place burn
down - it will be seen as a scheme and he
shall be held responsible, the end to be
perfect - The angry tenant
shall kill the overbearing landlord with one
blow, then enjoy exercising his right to
beneficial occupation indefinitely - at
least, in the opera or ballet
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Let's Lynch The Landlord
The landlord's here to visit
They're blasting disco down below
Sez, "I'm doubling the rent
Cuz the buildings condemned
You're gonna help me buy City Hall"
But we can, you know we can
We can, you know we can
Let's lynch the landlord man
I tell them turn on the water
I tell them turn on the heat
Tells me "All you ever do is complain"
Then they search the place when I'm not here
But we can, you know we can
Let's lynch the landlord
Let's lynch the landlord
Let's lynch the landlord man
There's rats chewin' up the kitchen
Roaches up to my knees
Turn the oven on, it smells like Dachau
Til' the rain pours through the ceiling
But we can, you know we can
Let's lynch the landlord man
song performed by by Faith No More
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Ballad Of The Landlord
Landlord, landlord,
My roof has sprung a leak.
Don't you 'member I told you about it
Way last week?
Landlord, landlord,
These steps is broken down.
When you come up yourself
It's a wonder you don't fall down.
Ten Bucks you say I owe you?
Ten Bucks you say is due?
Well, that's Ten Bucks more'n I'l pay you
Till you fix this house up new.
What? You gonna get eviction orders?
You gonna cut off my heat?
You gonna take my furniture and
Throw it in the street?
Um-huh! You talking high and mighty.
Talk on-till you get through.
You ain't gonna be able to say a word
If I land my fist on you.
Police! Police!
Come and get this man!
He's trying to ruin the government
And overturn the land!
Copper's whistle!
Patrol bell!
Arrest.
Precinct Station.
Iron cell.
Headlines in press:
Man Threatens landlord
Tenant Held Bail
Judge GIives Negro 90 Days In County Jail!
poem by Langston Hughes
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Growing up I felt like my nose was big. I was always like, 'I'm going to get a nose job one day'. I'm glad I didn't.
quote by Ashlee Simpson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Be Glad Your Nose is on Your Face
Be glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.
Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you'd be forced to smell your feet.
Your nose would be a source of dread
were it attached atop your head,
it soon would drive you to despair,
forever tickled by your hair.
Within your ear, your nose would be
an absolute catastrophe,
for when you were obliged to sneeze,
your brain would rattle from the breeze.
Your nose, instead, through thick and thin,
remains between your eyes and chin,
not pasted on some other place--
be glad your nose is on your face!
poem by Jack Prelutsky
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Missing You
I never knew what I was missing
until I was missing you.
'Cause every minute that you were around
I never felt this blue.
Seems no one else can do for me
all the things you've done.
You took all the scattered pieces of my life
and rolled them into one.
You made me whole. Now all those pieces
have come apart again.
It woke me up and I knew what was wrong
but I didn't know how or when
I could ever stop aching
or stop my heart from breaking
if you'd never come back to me
Don't you know how I'm missing you?
Oh how I'm missing you.
I never realized how empty I'd feel
until you were not here.
'Cause all of my time was filled with you.
I was good when you were near.
I never knew what I was missing,
until I was missing you.
'Cause every minute that you were around
I never felt this blue.
Don't you know that I'm missing you?
Oh how I'm missing you.
poem by Edwina Reizer
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Lie To Me
Kent, rent, sent, bent, tent, went, cent, dent, gent, lent, pent, vent;
And like a joyful sound!
But you are lying to me and i can see it on your face.
Pat, Nat, cat, bat, tat, sat, fat, gat, hat, lat, mat, rat, vat;
And with the acknowledgements of my muse!
But lie to me and let me be on guard,
And like the war songs in the land of your muse.
Furry, burrito, bury, curry, burly, burr, hurry, jury;
To put on a mantel for the battle!
But you are lying to me and i can see it on your face.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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A Fair Division
Another Irish landlord gone to grass,
Slain by the bullets of the tenant class!
Pray, good agrarians, what wrong requires
Such foul redress? Between you and the squires
All Ireland's parted with an even hand
For you have all the ire, they all the land.
poem by Ambrose Bierce
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Why Do You Bob Your Nose, Girl ?
(kinky friedman)
Why do you bob your nose, girls, it does not look so nice,
If it' s just to keep in fashion, it's not the lord's advice.
Well, you mangle mother nature and brave the lord's command
You care about your nose, girls, and reach the glory land.
Why do you bob your nose, girls, it's not the thing to do,
Run with that nose and some day the lord may say to you:
You naughty little booger, you honky tonkin' hose
But at least i'm glad for one thing: you'sll never bob your nose.
song performed by by Kinky Friedman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No Missing Of Escapes From Evil Dens
Once one graduates,
With an experience done...
From being in an evil den,
There is much to recognized with opened eyes.
When a survival from it has been earned and won.
The thought of being attacked,
By malicious backstabbing traps...
Ceases to produce feelings of warmth and gratitude.
One no longer is seduce by this.
Since those pinchers felt,
Snapped by crabs in a barrel...
Motivates with determination,
To climb out of this barrel and do it quick.
There is no missing of escapes from evil dens.
Nor is a broken arm received,
Falling out of a Maple Tree...
Remembered to relive the excruciating pain.
Once one graduates,
With an experience done...
From being in an evil den,
There is much to recognized with opened eyes.
When a survival from it has been earned and won.
There is no missing of escapes from evil dens.
Nor a heartbreak rejoiced,
From emotions battled to conquer over and win.
Since the showing with the exposure of them,
Would have meant a dire and detrimental existence.
The thought of being attacked,
By malicious backstabbing traps...
Ceases to produce feelings of warmth and gratitude.
Once one graduates,
With an experience done...
From being in an evil den.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Hobo
Comments, moments, arrangements, managements;
I am Hobo in the land of your muse but, i do miss her!
Cent, prominet, sent, went, bent, rent, tent, lent, dent, Kent, spent, vent;
With words of peace and love but, i do miss you!
The source of love and the source of peace,
But, try to drive the change to live in unity on this earth!
Charger, larger, dagger, anger, bagger, manager, ranger, finger, singer!
But, who owns the water on this earth?
Winger, linger, stranger, hanger, banger, changer, beggar;
But, why can't we all share the water on this earth?
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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I'm So Glad
I'm so glad
I'm so glad
I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
I'm so glad
I'm so glad
I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
Don't know what to do
Don't know what to do
Don't know what I'm gonna do
Another week in
Telephoning
Tired of groaning for you
I'm so glad
I'm so glad
I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
I'm so glad
I'm so glad
I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad
song performed by by Deep Purple
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In Playful Exchanges
A writer.
I am glad that I am that.
So glad I am that way!
Some feel attacked by my comments.
Some would like them dressed with less bite!
Uptight some feel by my expressions.
Lessons I've learned from teachers,
Away from classrooms and proper diction preached.
In science fiction I find no redemption at all.
My truth has an earthly grounding!
And that gives me the grit to sound off.
My insights have not be coated with illusions.
Deluded with honesty I am.
And I am in constant practice.
If anything stated has been misunderstood...
Or felt could be diluted in a solution of sugar?
Interpreters can be found for a dime a dozen,
Even at the escalating cost of slander...
And character assassinations,
Cheaply tossed back and forth
In playful backstabbing exchanges!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Sonnet: Harvest-time
In Summer, farmers scythe the harvest fast;
Their weary frames from morn till eve stay bent;
The produce sheaved is dried in fields so vast;
The air with songs of joy from heart is rent.
The scorching Sun doesn't bother their tanned skin;
Despite their speed, their work is ne’er over;
All hands labour, young, old, both kith and kin,
For golden harvest, thanking Lord- Giver.
The reapers everywhere must work quite hard;
There is no time to eat or drink water!
Their sweat-drenched land has yielded them reward;
The struggle involved ain't a great matter.
Each morn they stand and pray to Sun- their God,
Without which, there's no food, peasant, landlord.
poem by John Celes
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Missing
Written by kim wilde & steve byrd
They said stick with your own kind
Youre out of your depth
Think youve had it bad so far
Youre not finished yet
And all shes known is the taste of tears
Shes going no - where, can anybody hear
Now shes missing in the eyes of the law
She got out quick, she couldnt take much more
Now shes missing in the eyes of the law
Somebody help her
Its cold in the street
Theres a cold in her nose
Shes been walking all night
And the rains soaked her clothes
She doesnt know what shes doing here
She shrugs her shoulders, guess thats the way it goes
And now shes missing in the eyes of the law
She only did it cos she wanted much more
And now shes missing in the eyes of the law
Somebody help her
Somebody
song performed by by Kim Wilde
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Coincidence Or Consequence
You have a job but you can't afford the rent
Why is life always just dollars and cents?
If you can't get a job, you can't get a home
Vicious cycle spawns and turns your soul to bone
Kill, kill, die, die, death, death, suicide
Why do you think those rates are so high?
Do you think its just a coincidence that the black male
Is the highest statistic trapped on welfare
Landlord system, life for rent
Capitalism doesn't make any sense
Don't join the system, its suicide!
Coincidence or consequence, YOU DECIDE!
WELFARE IS WARFARE
song performed by by Unseen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Disease is the tax which the soul pays for the body, as the tenant pays house-rent for the use of the house.
quote by Ramakrishna
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nose
No one cares for the nose
To go nose straight is the tao
If there were no eyes
You could see better with your nose
If there were no nose
you wouldnot distinguish the sweet from the bitter
And there would be no value judgements in the world
And it is the nose that keeps you hot in the cold
And that keeps you cold in Jakodabad
The nose is the vigilant customs officer
That does not allow any drug to your lungs
And the nose cannot be bribed
Oh Nose! the customs officer of the body
And the pivot of value judgement in the world
If that name thou love
Remain with us and teach the noseless world
That it must have a nose in this wartorn world
He who knows the greatness of nose
Surely goes to the realm of rose
In the life to come
Hurrah Let us compose hymns to nose
poem by Dr. Ramesh Chandra Mukhopadhyaya
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Fall alarms of the coming Winter
My beloved replaced some missing buttons of my old jacket
And darned my antique woolen socks.
My old shoes grumbles; 'Master few holes in the sole
Definitely snowflake could peeps.'
I feel sorry for her
And she repairs the broken Kerosene heater
While I listen to the Waltz of Johann Strauss's 'Blue Danube'.
Landlord has come home
After his long foreign trip
And I count the arrears of my house rent.
Some expired antibiotic capsules smile on the rack
A strange notion and I too smiled; 'If poverty could be destroyed by these? '
What a ridiculous life is this?
Last night I dreamed some racing horses for the sleigh
And few Reindeers jumped into our room from Arctic regions!
** To an unseen companion of the journey the poet Matt Mooney in gratitude!
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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