I've a Pain in my Head
'I've a pain in my head'
Said the suffering Beckford;
To her Doctor so dread.
'Oh! what shall I take for't?'
Said this Doctor so dread
Whose name it was Newnham.
'For this pain in your head
Ah! What can you do Ma'am?'
Said Miss Beckford, 'Suppose
If you think there's no risk,
I take a good Dose
Of calomel brisk.'--
'What a praise worthy Notion.'
Replied Mr. Newnham.
'You shall have such a potion
And so will I too Ma'am.'
poem by Jane Austen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Down in the dark
Down in the dark, it’s all in my head,
The pain the sorrow, all of the dread,
I want it to leave, but it wants to stay,
I try and I try, but he won’t go away,
There by day, there at night,
Saying the things, that fills me with fright,
I’m down in the dark, it fills my head,
The pain the sorrow, all of the dread,
He’s always around, lurking inside,
Watching; waiting, my hands are tied,
In my head, always near,
In my thoughts, building the fear,
Down in the dark, filling my head,
The pain the sorrow, all of the dread,
The pain; it grows, bursting within,
The dark; he’s back, with his terror filled grin,
“I’ll help”; he says, talking to me,
“I know what to do, just come and see, ”
Down in the dark, it filled my head,
The pain the sorrow, all of the dread,
My thoughts are violent, with sorrow in my chest,
I just close my eyes, and hope for the best,
He tells me good job, I’ll find the light,
But my life is ending, with the chill of the night.,
Dead in the dark, lost in my head,
No more pain or sorrow, not even dread….,
poem by Jacob Hill
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Poet Goes to the Doctor
'Doctor, doctor! Can't you help me please?
I'm suffering from a dreadful disease,
A rhyming disorder, and what makes it worse,
I can't help speaking or writing in verse! !
These sleepless nights of alliteration
Are causing me such consternation,
The assonance too is making me ill -
Please give me a potion or some kind of pill! ! '
'Calm down, my friend, no need to worry, '
The doctor replied, 'Don't be in a hurry, -
I've got the answer, - a good dose of prose
By the dullest of authors, everyone knows,
Will speedily remedy your inspiration
By giving you TWO YEARS of verbal constipation! !
You can say goodbye to your fluent verse
As your poetry goes from bad to worse,
Don't change your mind and run to your Muse,
She won't grant your prayers, she'll simply refuse! !
Poetry is always a pain in the *rse,
But I promise you your illness will pass,
You'll just be a bore like the rest of us,
Scansion and metre? What an awful fuss! ! '
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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The Day I Got My Finger Stuck Up My Nose
When I got my finger stuck up my nose
I went to a doctor, who said,
"Nothing like this has happened before,
We will have to chop off your head."
"It's only my finger stuck up my nose,
It's only my finger!" I said.
"I see what it is," the doctor replied,
"But we'll still have to chop off your head."
He went to the cabinet and took out an axe.
I watched with considerable dread.
"But it's only my finger stuck up my nose.
It's only a finger!" I said.
"Perhaps we can yank it out with a hook
Tied to some surgical thread.
Maybe we can try that," he replied
"Rather than chop off your head."
"I'm never going to pick it again.
I've now learned my lesson," I said.
"I won't stick my finger up my nose -
I'll stick it in my ear instead."
poem by Brian Patten
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Take Up Thy Stethoscope & Walk
Doctor doctor!
Im in bed
Achin head
Gold is lead
Choke on bread
Underfed
Gold is lead
Jesus bled
Pain is red
Are goon
Grow go
Greasy spoon
You swoon
June bloom
Music seems to help the pain
Seems to cultivate the brain.
Doctor kindly tell your wife that
Im alive - flowers thrive - realize - realize
Realize.
song performed by by Pink Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Take Up Thy Stethoscope And Walk
Doctor doctor!
I'm in bed
Achin' head
Gold is lead
Choke on bread
Underfed
Gold is lead
Jesus bled
Pain is red
Are goon
Grow go
Greasy spoon
You swoon
June bloom
Music seems to help the pain
Seems to cultivate the brain.
Doctor kindly tell your wife that
I'm alive - flowers thrive - realize - realize
Realize.
song performed by by Pink Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Take Up The Stethoscope & Walk
Doctor doctor!
Im in bed
Achin head
Gold is lead
Choke on bread
Underfed
Gold is lead
Jesus bled
Pain is red
Are goon
Grow go
Greasy spoon
You swoon
June bloom
Music seems to help the pain
Seems to cultivate the brain.
Doctor kindly tell your wife that
Im alive - flowers thrive - realize - realize
Realize.
song performed by by Pink Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Staples
Cause it hasn't been that long
since you almost hit the tree.
Cause it hasn't been that long
since you hit the pole because of speed.
Do you remember
the ambulance it took you there?
Do you remember
they cut your pants your favorite pair?
They shaved your head.
Where's all your hair.
The doctor said,
"We need some staples for his head."
The doctor said,
"Another foot you could be dead."
The doctor said,
"We need some staples for his head."
The doctor said,
"You should have took the bus instead."
All you could hear
was kachunk, kachunk, kachunk.
All you could hear
was the doctor putting staples in this punk.
He could have died that day.
Which means that he would not be here.
He would have gone away,
friends and family we'd shed our tears.
But the good thing would be
is that we would always know.
He would be living
with Jesus Christ in his new home.
song performed by by Relient K
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Take Up Thy Stethescope And Walk
Doctor doctor!
I'm in bed
Achin' head
Gold is lead
Choke on bread
Underfed
Gold is lead
Jesus bled
Pain is red
Are goon
Grow go
Greasy spoon
You swoon
June bloom
Music seems to help the pain
Seems to cultivate the brain.
Doctor kindly tell your wife that
I'm alive - flowers thrive - realize - realize
Realize.
song performed by by Pink Floyd from Piper At The Gates Of Dawn
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Miss Gertrude Stein was as light as a bright
Gertrude Stein was on her dying bed;
(i.e. she was dying, not the bed) :
the doctor came in, Alice walking ahead;
‘What’s the answer, Doc? ’ said Miss Stein;
that was what Miss Gertrude Stein said.
but the doctor merely shook his head;
standing there at the head of the bed,
side to sighed he shook his head.
Miss Stein was as bright as a bright bright ray
of light until her dying day
(i.e. she was dying, not the day)
and there to the doctor at the head of the bed
she said
‘Then, what’s the question? …’ – leaving
Alice laughing in her grieving
oh yes oh yes Miss Stein was bright,
she, did not rage at the dying of the light.
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Hand That Feeds
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please, doctor, doctor, please
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Feel like an old diseace
Get your sweet ass off the floor
Doctor, doctor, doctor
I cant refuse any loose harted lady anymore
I scream your name into the crowd
You feel the flame, but yo aint proud
Mabye your attitude aint right
So all thats left for me to do is bite
The hand that feeds me
Feeds me
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
All things you put me through
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me
In the middle of, with a spittle of
Et tu like birds of a feather
When another day, love another way
Push, shove, make love, play
Never never, never ever
Never ever, never ever
Na, na...
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please do a-what you can
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Would you please give my life a hand
All the things you put me trough
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me, yeah
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
(repeat)
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor
[parody of doctor! doctor! by the thompson twins]
Woah, cause hes my doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Im feelin pretty dismal.
Doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Wheres my pepto bismol?
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Soldering
(beckford & ranglin)
Soldering its what the young girl wants
Soldering
Soldering its what the young girl needs
Soldering
She says she dont want the young buy,
The young boy drink too much white rum
She says she dont want the soul man,
cause soul man fall asleep in bed
She says she dont want the dread lock
cause dread lock smoke too much haile
Soldering its what the young girl wants
Soldering
When you check it out the young boy is undecided
And the dread lock is getting natty groove
While the old man hes watching them move
And the soul boy he start to prove
Soldering its what the young girl wants
Soldering
Soldering its what the young girl needs
Soldering
Oh young girl want soldering
song performed by by Hall & Oates
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor’s Day,2010
Doctor, doctor, carer of sick!
Doctor, doctor, healer on earth;
Doctor, doctor, noble is thine field;
Doctor, doctor, serve thine brethren well!
Doctor, labor all the more;
Clean and dress the chronic sore;
Let no person taint thine name;
Never forget thine great aim.
Doctor, let not wealth allure;
Doctor, lead a life all pure;
Doctor, try to always cure;
God will bless thee on earth, sure.
Dear Dr.B, K, Padmavathi M.D.,
‘Happy Doctor’s Day,2010! ’
From the Dean and staff of IRT, PMC
Copyright by Dr John Celes 7-1-2010
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mental Hospital
There was a doctor of death
a maker of pain
all he ever said
was don't play games
I was an innocent man
in a sea of pain
but all I could see
was the broken dreams
of the lost souls
walking the corridor
of hope and pain
High royds hospital
never broke me
but it took twenty years
to shake the pain
of doctor death
Now it's time
for all the lost souls
to be laid to rest
No one ever helped them
deal with their pain
they was just a face
with no name
Find the victims
ease their pain
poem by Dave Alan Walker
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Somebody Get Me A Doctor
You better call me a doctor.
Feelin no pain.
Overloaded, down the drain.
Somebody get me a doctor.
You better call up the ambuance, Im deep in shock.
Overloaded, baby, I can hardly walk.
Somebody get me a doctor.
Somebody get me a doctor.
Feelin over fine.
And Im speedin down that line.
Somebody get me a shot.
song performed by by Van Halen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Open Invitation
You be you and let me be me
No strings attached emotionally
I wanna get a little crazy
Thats puttin it plain
You got the medicine and I got the pain.
When you just wanna feel good
Like the doctor said
One good dose of loving
Its gonna straighten out your head
(tag):
You got an open invitation
On that you can rely
You got a prepaid reservation
And thats the only way to fly.
Lets make love, the feeling is right
Just passing by like ships in the night
Oughta get a little friendly
Theres no time like now
You bring the attitude and Ill show you how.
Anytime youre ready
Anytime at all
Just come on over
Dont even have to call.
song performed by by Santana
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Doctor’s Waiting Room (Fun Poem 40)
Sitting in a Doctor’s waiting room,
is enough to make you feel more ill than what you are.
As I sat patiently waiting for my number to be called,
when Mrs Johnson came in.
She went on to explain,
the threshold of her pain,
and all the times for this and that
she had been under the surgeon’s knife.
Mrs Peabody was the next to sit.
She told everyone she had a dose of chills,
and that she came by to see the Doctor
for a top up on the magic pills.
Next, to arrive was old Jimmy Farnham
with a sauce-bin stuck on his head.
He had been demonstrating to his grandchildren
how he fought off a brigade of Japanese soldiers single-handed.
However, the truth is he was only a cook in the Army catering corps.
Then in came Mrs Hallam a little slimmer than she was before.
She explained that she had had
a tummy tuck and liposuction to make her look thin.
She then proceeded to lift her top
so everyone could see the scar.
Just to make matters worse
Mrs Shrewsbury rushed in,
to declare to one and all
that her water had just broke.
With all the pandemonium going on,
I handed back my ticket
and went straight home.
I’d rather suffer in silence
that in the Doctor’s waiting room.
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Doctor Doctor
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh the mess Im in
She walked up to me
And really stole my heart
And then she started
To take my body apart
*livin, lovin, Im on the run
Far away from you
Livin, lovin, Im on the run
So far away from you
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, Im goin fast
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, Im goin fast
Its only just a moment,
Shes turnin paranoid
Thats not a situation for a nervous boy
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, the mess Im in
But you look so angry
As I crawled across your floor
Shes got the strain,
And I cant take any more
*repeat
*repeat
song performed by by Ufo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Seeing Double
(ian hunter)
Doctor, doctor, am I alright?
I keep on stayin up - all through the night
Smokin, drinkin, watchin t.v. til the light
Its been a long time since I slept
All I seem to think about is what I aint yet
Im seeing double
Doctor, doctor, am I in need?
Seems like theres somethin wrong with me
Underneath this stone lies a different guy
My head says yeah - my body says no
I cant seem to get up - I cant seem to go
Im seeing double
In the middle of my life - its just a little strange
All those people - theyre alright - if theyd stop messin with my brain
I remember when the world was new
Doctor, doctor, what can you do?
Im tired of runnin - give me something to slow down
Aint been to bed in over a week
I cant catch up son sleep - its playing hide n seek
Im seeing double
song performed by by Ian Hunter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor Robert
Ring my friend, i said you call doctor robert
Day or night he'll be there any time at all, doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
If you're down he'll pick you up, doctor robert
Take a drink from his special cup, doctor robert
Doctor robert, he's a man you must believe,
Helping everyone in need
No one can succeed like doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
My friend works for the national health, doctor robert
Don't pay money just to see yourself with doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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