Return to Eilean Mhor for friend mark

Return to Eilean Mhor

My island homeland calls to me from far away across the sea.
She whispers to me quietly but none the less insistently
I left my home reluctantly; there was no future there for me
except a life of poverty. I braved the terrors of the sea
I was still young and fancy free, had no responsibility
The last one of my family no relatives to advise me
No man controls his destiny; it seems that fate had plans for me.
Which would not necessarily allow me time to simply be.
I chose employment carefully, rose through the ranks successfully
and joined the board at forty three.Made president eventually
The time has come it seems to me to retire gracefully
Return to where I long to be. There’s nothing now to prevent me.
My home island still calls to me as she has done consistently.
Since I left her reluctantly I will return permanently.
To wake up every day and see the seagulls soar above the sea
and like the gulls I will be free to live my days out peacefully.
No pressures there to distress me I will have time to simply be.

14-Mar-09
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I live for my dreams.

She comes to me in dreams at night.
And holds me as she used to do.
But disappears by morning light
So I am left to grieve anew..

There’s no one left to comfort me
My family are long since gone.
I wait for nightfall eagerly
Just for a while I’m not alone.

Each night before I sleep I pray
My love will come to visit me.
Although I’ll face another day
of loneliness and misery.

They say that passing time will heal.
For some perhaps it may be true.
But not for me because I feel
the anguish still of losing you.

I know somewhere you wait for me.
You can’t return and won’t go on.
You know we have eternity.
That I will follow where you’ve gone.

When death released you from your pain.
And left your spirit free to fly.
You promised me we’d meet again.
Now all I do is wonder why.

Fate decided that we should be.
Forced to go our separate ways
Parted arbitrarily.
Condemning me to lonely days.

She comes to me by night in dreams
and holds me as she used to do
When for a while at least it seems
as if my dreams will soon come true.

I pray each night I will not wake.
To be set free to rejoin you.
A journey I will gladly make.
There’s nothing here for me to do.

Tuesday,15 March 2011
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Back to my roots for friend Bob

The sun is setting on the sea.
It paints the restless waters red.
I sit alone solitary
and from my vantage point I see

The sky darken to indigo
I sit alone and watch night fall.
I choose to stay although I know
that duty calls and I should go.

Back to the harsh reality
I have to cope with every day.
The endless noise of the city.
With which I feel no empathy.

I must suppose I’ll always be
the country boy that I once was
But driven by necessity
I left my home reluctantly.

There was no future there for me
No way to earn my daily bread
Just endless grinding poverty.
A prospect which I chose to flee.

I was naïve and hopeful then.
I thought the city offered me
A better chance to start again
But sadly I was mistaken.


The hungry city swallowed me.
I found a job which paid my way.
A porter in a mortuary
The ultimate in irony.

I served the dead to stay alive.
But every hour that I was free.
I needed fresh air to survive.
I took my car and I would drive.

Out to the hill above the sea
to fill my lungs with fresh clean air.
And for a little while be free
from scents and sounds of the city.


I will retire very soon.
I think that I have earned the right.
To sit outside my door at noon
or if I choose to watch the moon.

I shall go back where I belong
Back to the open countryside.
Although I’m old I am still strong
I have no doubt I’ll get along.

Quite happily where I should be
I was not meant for city life.
I‘ll leave the city thankfully.
Retirement will set me free.

26/07/2009
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Centred experimental form

Centred

The silence of the night profound.
Unbroken by the slightest sound.
Envelopes me.

Serenity envelopes me
From earthly worries I am free
Just for a while.

I can enjoy just for a while
a complete change from my life style.
No need to rush.

I am content no need to rush.
Sit quietly amidst the hush.
I still my mind.

Effortlessly I still my mind
and meditate until I find
my inner core.

When I have reached my inner core
I need not struggle any more.
I am at peace.

I realise I am at peace
when all my errant thought trains cease.
I can just be.

I understand I can just be
if only temporarily.
Then I must go.

An hour or two then I must go
back to the noisy world I know.
Reluctantly.

Surrendering reluctantly
the only time that I am free
to be just me.

21-Oct-08
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Time to be,

Steal away quietly meditate
You can spare time enough. For a while
silently hide away. Contemplate
who you are, what you are thoroughly.
You may find peace of mind, leave behind
the pressures and distress easily.
All you need to succeed is concede.
You can fly if you try earnestly.
You will see, you can be really free.

12/07/2009
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The best laidplans gang aft agley Storypoem

I planned her demise carefully
I was quite sure that it would be
accepted as an accident.
Which left me looking innocent.

I thought I had made no mistakes
but I made one that’s all it takes.
One single shred of evidence
destroyed my claim to innocence.

I should have sued for a divorce
that would have been the wisest course.
Though it would not have satisfied
the hatred festering inside

Caused by the mental cruelty
to which she had subjected me
So I devised the perfect plan
to rid myself of this woman.

My only thought revenge is sweet.
I truly thought in my conceit
That I would get away Scott free.
But fate had other plans for me.

My home is temporarily
a hospital I am not free.
I can still smile I am content
her punishment is permanent.

I was adjudged incompetent
of forming murderous intent
The lawyer who defended me
convinced the judge successfully.

That though I caused my wifes demise
I was too ill to recognise
That killing her would be a crime.
My mind abnormal at that time.

I have no reason to complain
I know that I am not insane
That very soon the powers that be
will certify my sanity.

Although my plans went all awry.
The price I pay is not too high
At last I am well rid of you.
It was well worth it in my view.

18/07/2009
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Return Sonata

Return the dust that is in my home to the streets at home
So that I can have a dust free home
Return the mice to the streets at home
So that I can have no mice in my home
Return some warmth to my home
So that my home can be warm also
Return peace to my home
So that I can live in peace at home
Return freedom to me
So that I can live free
Return the fresh air to my home
So that I can be able to breathe the fresh air
Return the sound of silence to my home
So that I can have some silence while I sleep

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It

TO Kiss it, and hug it, and touch it,
To stare at it, to slide my hands beneath it,
To make my lips touch it, and to rub my body against it,
To bring it to life with me, to undress it and caress it,
To kiss its all body with my tongue
To be above it at its center
Of its being,
To sleep with it and wake with it
After a night of love,

To be crazy with it,
To dance with it, and be with it, and leave all that I have
Because, all because of it,
To destroy family ties, and make enemies of all people
Because of it,
Because it is wholeheartedly delicious
Because I can be free
Because my whole being likes to be with it,
Because I am in love with it,
Because I can be whole
Because I can be complete
Simply because

I am not me today
I am
I am still going to be.

IT.
Just it, it cannot love me in return,
It just laughs
And cannot understand,
It is just it,
And it calls me simply
Not even with my name,
That I can die for it,
It
Simply calls me
IT.

It’s crazy, I know
But tell me what I can really do about
IT.

IT IS NOTHING.

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Fantasy or Fact? for friend C.P Sharma

I am not dead nor do I live.
I hover somewhere in between
No explanation I can give
will prove to be sufficient to.

Describe exactly how I feel.
I long to stay but want to go.
To who or what do I appeal?
I am confused I do not know.

When I return to consciousness
and find I am myself again.
Gone is the sense of timelessness.
I am content and free from pain.

I knew deaths door was open wide
but knew my family needed me.
I did not choose to step inside.
It could have been a fantasy.

I’m sure some few will understand
but only those who have been there.
Most will dismiss it out of hand.
Though not because they do not care.

They simply cannot comprehend
they lack the sensitivity.
To know that death can be a friend
who is prepared to set you free.

But in the end the choice is yours.
It is your life you must decide
which would be the better course.
To just give up or to abide.

I don’t remember which I chose
but obviously I am still here.
I must have chosen I suppose.
But on that point I am not clear.

I can remember vividly
The doctors crowding round my bed
Whilst I was floating happily
and watching from above their heads..

Fantasy or reality
I do not know but I am sure
That it has wrought a change in me
that’s permanent and will endure.

No longer will I fear to die.
I know that death is not the end.
I am quite sure but know not why.
My enemy is now my friend.

I know that death will set me free
When my time comes then I will go
Released from my earthly body.
Towards a future I can’t know.

22/10/2009
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Over You

Dont wanna be left behind left alone
Waiting for you to call me
Dont wanna have best of times haunting me
Underlining my heartache
Time heals but only time will tell if time heals
Leaving me free of the hold that you have on me
Over you how can I get
Over you must forget
The things you do
I just must get
Over you live my life again
Without you here
I talk to your answer phone its telling me
Please leave your number
Ill call when I get back home
When you hear the tone speak up and clearly
Time heals but only time will tell if time heals
But who do I turn to if you wont return my calls
Over you how can I get
Over you must forget
The things you do
I just must get
Over you live my life again
Without you here
I call your home and your answer phone
Tells me leave your number
Over you how can I get
Over you must forget
The things you do
I just must get
Over you live my life again
Without you here
Over you I just must get
Over you but how will I get
Over you I guess Ill get
Over you it may take some time getting
Over you I may never get
Over you just must get
Over you...

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Escape Mechanism

I was in pain, in agony
and saw no way to gain relief.
Then all at once I seemed to be
beside myself quite literally.

Some how I had escaped my pain
just left my agony behind
so I was comfortable again.
I thought at first I was insane.

And yet I knew I was still me
but by some magic of my mind.
I had escaped I’d struggled free.
Although it felt quite strange to see.

My body sitting in my chair.
To see myself from the outside.
As though I was both here and there.
I found it rather hard to bear.

I wondered then if I had died
and that was how I came to be
Observing myself from outside
I understood I must decide

I had a choice to be pain free
and leave the life I knew behind.
I chose somewhat reluctantly
and I returned immediately.

Back to the inside looking out
I don’t pretend to understand
what happened but I have no doubt.
Although I rarely talk about.

The day I found that I could be
in two places at one time.
Experience simultaneously
to be pain wracked and be pain free.

I sometimes voluntarliy
decide to take a holiday
from aches and pains which distress me.
Be pain free temporarily.

All men must die and so will I,
I do not let it worry me.
But until then I can but try
to bear my suffering patiently.

When it gets to much to bear
I close my eyes and I escape
to somewhere else I‘m not sure where
nor do I think I really care.

1-Oct-08

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Why Can't I Simply Retire In Quiet?

WHY CAN’T I SIMPLY RETIRE IN QUIET

Why can’t I simply retire in quiet
At peace with what I have done?

What is this ‘greed’ in me
Which always needs to write more
Which always seeks a greater recognition?
Which always expects some future day
In which all will be made alright?

What is this greed in me
Which needs to go on and on
As if I were forever young in hope?

Why can’t I simply rest in peace in my own life
And quietly accept I have done what I have done
And now am free to enjoy my life
As best I can
Until the end?

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Death is not the end For M'lady Ernestine

Death is not the end.

A ray of sunlight penetrates
the quiet gloom of the sick room
Wherein a dying lady waits.

For death to call impatiently.
She has no fear she is content
To know that soon she will be free.

For ninety years she’s done her best.
To her the sunlight seems to be
A sign that she has passed the test.

The ray of light eventually
illuminates her final smile.
She passes over quietly.

Her empty shell lies peacefully.
Almost as if she slumbered still.
Her spirit soars triumphantly.

Towards the light she hopes to see.
Remaining faithful to the end
She goes ahead confidently.

She has outlived her family
and all her friends are long since dead.
She lived her life successfully.

She lived and died competently
and she passed on with no regrets.
To start a new life hopefully.

Wednesday,30 June 2010
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Flying lessons for M'lady Ernestine.

The swallows have successfully
raised up their fledging family.
The little ones now have to try
out their wings and learn to fly.
Although at first reluctantly.
They seem to know instinctively,
the freedom of the sky is theirs.
But only for the bird who dares
to leave the nest and try their wings.
Despite the anxious twitterings
of parent birds who have the right.
To watch their first attempt at flight.
They fly because they know they can.
All part of Mother Natures plan.

Sunday,13 June 2010
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Lady in waiting.2011

I live alone, my family
and all my friends are long since gone.
There’s no one left who cares for me.
Others have problems of their own.
I’ve had my share of happiness
and known the depths of misery.
My life now seems to matter less.
So I am waiting patiently.
For death to come and set me free.
Each night I pray I will not wake..
I think that death’s forgotten me
just overlooked me by mistake.
I’d welcome death quite happily
but even deaths abandoned me.

Friday,18 February 2011
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The teen age Myth

Adolescent anxiety
never really bothered me
When I was young there were no teens
Just men and boys no in betweens.

You started work when you left school
this was accepted as the rule.
The good old days or so they say
when things were done a different way

Teen agers were not invented then.
Perhaps its time to think again
Reintroduce some discipline
to whip the youngster into line.

Ignore the experts who advise
because they lack the expertise.
In raising children of their own
experience they’ve never known.

Adolescents of today
must learn there is no easy way.
They have to work to earn respect.
I am not sure but I suspect.

That most of you agree with me
that nothing in this life is free.
It’s our responsibility
to raise our children properly.

To teach them what they need to know
and yet allow them room to grow.
Though you may think I’m prejudiced
I have the right and I insist


That children should be taught values
before they’re old enough to choose.
To obey the rules or to refuse
After all what can we lose.
28-Feb-09 http: // blog.myspace.com/poeticpiers

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Establishing a new precedent.

Establishing a new precedent.

On Christmas day just after lunch.
Uncle Jim’s drunk most of the punch.
Grandmas been at the gin again
Her silly giggles make that plain.

Mothers too busy washing up
to see how much booze Dad can sup.
The kids have gone their separate ways
without a single word of praise

For the preparation
their mum has single handed done.
It is the same thing every year
Nobody sees that it’s not fair.

To leave it all to poor old mum
A little help would be welcome.
At least that how it used to be
But this year Mum has broken free.

She has decided she will stay
in an hotel for Christmas day
Where she will be waited on
.She left a not to say she’s gone.

But carefully does not say where
nor when she’s coming home again.
She decided to declare
and by her action make it plain.

That in the future she must be
treated very differently.
I am quite sure the family
will realise shamefacedly.

That mothers are entitled to
expect the family to assist
When there is so much work to do.
She knows how much she will be missed.

Although she goes reluctantly
She is quite sure she is correct
to try and show the family.
That in the future she’ll expect

every one to play their part
and offer their help willingly
It’s time to make a brand new start
and treat Mum more respectfully.

This Christmas will not be much fun.
Without their Mum to supervise
the preparations won’t get done
and they will have to improvise.

A lesson that’s intended to.
Change their selfish attitude
(A lesson which is over due)
and show a little gratitude.

For all the work that mother does
But this year will be different
Without their Mum to make a fuss
Their Christmas day a non event.

Because their mum decided they.
Did not appreciate that she
deserved a restful Christmas Day
the way a Christmas day should be

Perhaps next year they would decide
they should dine out on Christmas day.
To make quite sure Mum was satisfied
and could enjoy her restful day.

Now Mum has registered her protest.
Much to the family’s surprise.
They will decide it’s for the best
and be prepared to compromise.

Monday,21 December 2009.
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Harsh Reality for M 'lady Fay

Although I truly empathise
with your desire to fantasise.
It is my task to emphasise.

Although you day dream happily
escaping from reality
Your must return eventually.

There is one rule all must obey
although you would much rather stay.
Your fantasies must fade away.

You know that what I say is true.
Although your job is boring you.
It’s something that you have to do.

So save your dreams for when you sleep
and have no deadlines you must keep.
If you do not the price is steep.

You will get fired right away
you’ll have no job and get no pay
But you’ll be free to dream all day.

If you are wise you’ll listen to
the sound advice I’m giving you
and do what you are paid to do.

You cannot live on fantasies
you have to pay for groceries.
That’s one of life’s realities.

22-Dec-08

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A different song for Friend Howard

Highways, byways and motorways
are very much the same to me.
I much prefer the bridle ways
Those quiet lanes are traffic free.

I care not where the path may lead.
I stroll along at my own pace.
I’m free from any need for speed
I am quite happy to retrace

my steps. Should I mistake
the path I follow get it wrong
What does it matter if I take?
a shortcut which proves to be long.

I opted out of life’s rat race.
I am at no mans beck and call
I choose my way and choose my pace
and don’t regret my choice at all.

I live my life free from all stress
I only have myself to please.
No time constraints to cause distress.
I freed myself from that disease.

Time does not matter not to me
I thought it did but I was wrong.
At last I am completely free
To listen to a different song.

14-Nov-08

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I reluctantly left the series because a) my age. I'm 68 tomorrow and time is very precious for me to spend time at home with my family and especially with the grandchildren. They're aged 7 and 5. After three years I became homesick for my home.

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A Cushy Billet.

Lunatic sonnet.

Psychiatrists have labelled me,
In doing so have set me free
From all responsibility.
I need not worry any more.
All of my needs are catered for.
I laugh until my sides are sore.
Although they keep me close confined.
To tell the truth I do not mind.
I left my troubles all behind.
When I was certified insane
I lose much less than what I gain.
I need not ever work again.
I live in idle luxury
My every want provided free.

Monday,15 August 2011
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