Impossibility
I met an average man today.
Average in every way
He was not nor was he lean
but in the middle in between.
Hw was not tall he was not short
but medium height I must report
His hair was neither dark nor light.
His mode of dress exactly right.
A statisticians dream come true.
The man that they all refer to.
hen they compile the lists they prize
at best half truths but mainly lies.
Statistically he cant exist
One sample not enough to list.
17-Feb-08
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Average Guy
I aint no christian or no born again saint
I aint no cowboy or marxist d.a.
I aint no criminal or reverend cripple from the right
I am just your average guy, trying to do whats right
Im just your average guy
An average guy
I am just your average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy, Im just your average guy
Im average looking and Im average inside
Im an average lover and I live in an average place
You wouldnt know me if you met me face to face
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
I worry about money and taxes and such
I worry that my livers big and it hurts to the touch
I worry about my health and bowels
And the crime waves in the street
Im really just your average guy
Trying to stand on his own two feet
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average looks, average taste
Average height, an average waist
Average in everything I do
My temperature is 98.2
Im just your average guy
An average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I've always said when I broke in I was an average player. I had an average arm, average speed and definitely an average bat. I am still average in all of those.
quote by Brooks Robinson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Song: An Average Cyber Hero
I'm your average cyber hero;
I don't exist in space.
My algorithm's zero.
I lack all human grace.
I'm your average cyber hero;
And I know my cyber place.
But my wheels are real and turning,
And burning up apace.
I'm your average cyber hero,
Writ in glyph of lower case.
An avatar of Nero,
With a second life and face.
I'm your average cyber hero,
With a cryptic clue to trace;
And I'll out-google Google,
With an engine cued to chase.
I'm your average cyber hero;
But you may think me more.
In the binaries of Zeno,
I'm both paradox and law.
I am the master gatekeeper,
I open many doors
Of perception, in this nano
World, of educated spores.
I'm your average cyber hero.
And I have no warming breath.
I endure a kind of limbo,
That's near to living death.
I'm your average cyber hero,
And I'll dive your hidden depths,
To the clearest seas I've seen below,
Your permafrost and steppes.
I'm your average cyber hero,
Who explores the world within.
A giant, not a minnow,
But a true leviathan.
I'm your average cyber hero,
And I'll plumb your secret well,
To plunge like Captain Nemo,
From a fate not unlike hell.
I'm your average cyber hero.
I'm the ghost in your machine.
Both as sleuth and dogged shadow,
You'll not escape unseen.
I'm your average cyber hero,
You dismiss by barb and scoff;
But I know your craven credo,
Won't let you turn me off!
poem by David SmithWhite
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Extraordinary
You think that I go home at night
Take off my clothes, turn out the lights
But I burn letters that I write
To you, to make you love me
Yeah, I'd drive naked through the park
And run the stop sign in the dark
Stand in the street, yell out my heart
To you, to make you love me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
You may not believe in me
But I believe in you
So I still take the trash out
Does that make me too normal for you?
So dig a little deeper, cause
You still don't get it yet
See me lickin' my lips, need a primitive fix
And I'll make, I'll make you love me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
See me jump through hoops for you
You stand there watching me performing
What exactly do you do?
Have you ever thought it's you that's boring?
Who the hell are you?
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
song performed by by Liz Phair
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Truth Are Lies.. Lies Are Truth..
speak your truth from your quivering lips
but also your lies comes through them..
your half lies are also your half truths
yet your half truths are also your half lies
what shall you talk about them if your thruth are your lies
and your lieas are your truths
then this world would be filled of noise
being lies and being the truth
until all of us will be lost
what to believe and follow
will it be the half lies
or the half truths?
which one is to choice
the truth is yours but also are the lies..
so let us all live with he truths and the lies
within our hearts within our minds
till we are lost in a maze of half lies and half truths
poem by Villiamor Calventas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Ballade Of The Average Reader
I try to touch the public taste,
For thus I earn my daily bread.
I try to write what folks will paste
In scrap books after I am dead.
By Public Craving I am led.
(I' sooth, a most despotic leader)
Yet, though I write for Tom and Ned,
I've never seen an average reader.
The Editor is good and chaste,
But says: (Above the public's head;
This is _too_ good; 'twill go to waste.
Write something commonplacer-
Ed.)
Write for the average reader, fed
By pre-digested near-food's feeder,
But though my high ideals have fled,
I've never _seen_ an average reader.
How many lines have been erased!
How many fancies have been shed!
How many failures might be traced
To this-this average-reader dread!
I've seen an average single bed;
I've seen an average garden-weeder;
I've seen an average cotton thread-
I've _never_ seen an average _reader_.
L'ENVOI
Most read of readers, if you've read
The works of any old succeeder,
You know that he, too, must have said:
'I've never seen an Average Reader.'
poem by Franklin P. Adams
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Not That [Part one to 'The Other Poem']
You think that
You're smart
I can see it in your eyes
You aren't
Not that I am
I've been called 'Miss State-The-Obvious'
More than once
I have refrained
From understanding
A joke
More than once
I have gotten a report card
With straight Fs
More than once
The difference between us
Is that
I'm just average
And you're
Just ignorant
Not that ignorance
Isn't
Average
But that's
A whole
Other
Poem.
poem by Sparklle Rainne
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Rougher Than The Average
R- ray a- anita
A: Im the a, the n, the i, t, a
Once youre with me, youll always wanna stay
cause Ill make you feel good. never blue..
To put it simple: Im a dream come true!
A: please, baby..ya gotta let me go
Of course ya wanna stay, ha, I know
But time is precious. time is money.
Im rougher than the average, remember that honey!
R: I live my life, do nothing to fear
Always tough, shed no tear
Bass in your face, the electric bomb
Dont just stand there...come on, come on!
The contrast megablast are for everlast
Ill put you down in a microphone contest
2 unlimited put you to the test..
Rougher than the average, yeah were the best!
A: rougher than the average; honey!
A: remember that honey!
A: most guys I love, some guys I hate
cause some guys underestimate
The things I do, and the things I can
Rougher than the average is what I am!
R: check me out while Im coming on strong
This is the ray, no, never do you wrong!
Always the right girls spend the night
Take you down as quick as dynamite
Rougher than the average, yeah, thats me
Fresh and dope as you can see
Girl, in my room, and in, out we go
Rougher than the average...let the bass go!
song performed by by 2 Unlimited
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rougher Than Average (Rap)
I'm the "a", the "n", the "i", "t", "a".
Once you're with me, you'll always wanna stay,
'cause I'll make you feel good. Never blue..
To put it simple: I'm a dream come true!
Please, baby..ya gotta let me go.
Of course ya wanna stay, ha, I know.
But time is precious. Time is money.
I'm rougher than the average,
Remember that honey!
I live my life, do nothing to fear.
Always tough, shed no tear.
Bass in your face, the electric bomb--
Don't just stand there...come on, come on!
The contrast megablast are for everlast,
I'll put you down in a microphone contest.
2 Unlimited put you to the test...
Rougher than the average, yeah we're the best!
Remember that honey!
Most guys I love, some guys I hate,
'cause some guysunderestimate
The things I do, and the things I can.
Rougher than the average is what I am!
Check me out while I'm coming on strong.
This is the Ray, no, never do you wrong!
Always the right girls spend the night,
Take you down as quick as dynamite.
Rougher than the average, yeah, that's me..
Fresh and dope as you can see.
Girl, in my room, and in, out we go..
Rougher than the average...let the bass go
song performed by by 2 Unlimited
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!
Average Person
Look at the average person
Speak to the man in the street
Can you imagine the first one youd meet?
Well, Im talking to a former engine driver
Trying to find out what he used to do
Tells me that he always kept his engine
Spit and polished up as good as new
But he said his only great ambition
Was to work with lions in a zoo
Oh to work with lions in a zoo
Yes dear, you heard right
Told me his ambition was to work with lions every night
Look at the average person
Speak to the man on the beat
Can you imagine the first one youd meet?
Well, I met a woman working as a waitress
I asked exactly what it was she did
Said she worked the summer crowd at seasides
Winter time she ran away and hid
Once she had a hollywood audition
But the part was given to a kid
Yes,the part was given to a kid
Yes sir, you heard it right
Hollywood ambition made a starlet grown up overnight
Well I bumped into a man whod been a boxer
Asked him what had been his greatest night
He looked into the corners of his memory
Searching for a picture of the fight
But he said he always had a feeling
That he lacked a little extra height
(could have used a little extra height)
Yes mate, you heard right
He always had a feeling that he might have lacked a little height
Look at the average person
Speak to the man in the queue
Can you imagine the first one is you?
Look at the average person.
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Medium
Medium, medium.
Waking up I smell the scent of coffee on the brew,
And I think about the amount of the sweet,
Id like to have in my cup today.
One for the two lump, three lump, four.
No half of one, no less no more.
Just give me a chance, let me make it mine.
Id like a medium blend of that piece of pie.
Not too bitter, not too sweet... medium.
Just enough to ? ? ? ... medium.
Not too bitter, not too sweet... medium.
Just enough to ? ? ? ... medium.
Dinner time just rolls around,
And I think I crave a steak but,
Im not too partial to the meat,
When its cooked too long and Im made to wait.
Not too much of the parsony,
And just enough of the spice.
I think Id enjoy a medium-rare dish with a side of fries.
Not too tender, not too tough... medium.
Not too little, just enough... medium.
Not too tender, not too tough... medium.
Not too little, just enough... medium.
Medium. medium. medium. medium. just a medium. medium.
? ? ? and I smell the pits but ? ? ? ? ? .
I couldve sworn a ? ? ? last week and scrubbed like ? ? ? .
I like to stink just a little bit,
Just to keep you on your toes yes.
The more I stink the more I think,
That you smell like a rose.
Not too pleasant, not too bad... medium.
Just enough to hold my ? ? ? ... medium.
Not too pleasant, not too bad... medium.
Just enough to hold my ? ? ? ... medium.
Medium. medium. medium. medium. medium. medium.
song performed by by Incubus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Next In Line, Please
You see,
I think you and I are not communica...
'Will that be light, medium or dark roast? '
...ting!
You see,
I am not like the others.
And I am see...
'Would you like light, medium or dark roast? '
...king something not so tart.
Less bitter with a more swee...
'Light! Medium or...
Dark roast.
That's it!
No if's ands or others.'
...tened taste. I don't like your attitude one bit.
I demand to see your supervisor.
Immediately.
'No problem.
Would you like 'your' truth...
Dark, light or medium? '
You did absolutely nothing but change hats.
'And guess what?
You either take that truth light, medium OR dark.
And...
Where is your authorization to stand in this line? '
I need no 'authorization'.
My name is...
'Next in line, please.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is for a partner it doesn't turn to those who believe that they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever searching and striving to become the best they possibly can. If we seek the average level, we cannot hope to achieve a higher level of success. Our only hope is to avoid being a failure.
quote by Lou Vickery
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Today it has been estimated that the average 70 year old has four chronic conditions and consumes an average of 35 PBS scripts per year for those conditions.
quote by Julie Bishop
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Beautiful Lies
Beautiful lies
Take us on the wings of might
Towards the skies infinite
And then dropp us on the heaps of truths-
Brutal truths buried.
Beautiful lies
Get painted on a marvelleous canvas of light
Against the background in twillight
And then shed the shadows of truths-
Barren truths ferried.
Beautiful lies
Send the beams of delight
In the dark chambers made of granite
And then surmount me with truths-
Nightmarish truths married.
Still in the thick coats of beautiful lies
I veil my frame when the Sun is on
And in the cradle of their rhymes
I find my sleep when the Fun is gone.
poem by M.d Dinesh Nair
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The healthiest competition occurs when average people win by putting above average effort.
quote by Colin Powell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wal-Mart hires average people but squeezes above average performance and results out of them.
quote by Michael Bergdahl
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I am only an average man but, by George, I work harder at it than the average man.
quote by Theodore Roosevelt
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On average, Australians watch more than three hours of television a day, compared with 12 minutes a day spent by the average couple talking to each other.
quote by Hugh Mackay
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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