The Hacker
The hacker sets out in deep concentration,
But golf shots soon turn to excavation.
Staring glumly at cavernous divots,
No textbook technique, but reverse pivots.
They endure this torment for eighteen holes,
Feel guilty for all the evicted moles.
Into the clubhouse to glance at the card,
Which has been strangely, by high numbers marred.
poem by Greg Costello
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Related quotes
For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
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We're moles
we are moles
we are moles
fear lives in our souls
we are moles
we are moles
fear lives in our souls
if you take us out of holes
you will kill us poor moles
so much fear
so much fear
we will die when you get nearer
so much fear
so much fear
we will die when you get nearer
if you take us out of holes
you will kill us poor moles
we are moles
we are moles
fear lives in our souls
we are moles
we are moles
fear lives in our souls
if you take us out of holes
you will kill us poor moles
poem by Max Kuvaev
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I'm not going to say what was being used in the clubhouse; whatever happens in the clubhouse stays in the clubhouse. But it was not like it was in your face.
quote by Rafael Palmeiro
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Happy Sadness of Golf
It’s not a sport or pastime … and usually not fun.
You’re reduced to a mumbler before you are done.
The book says to hit against your left side.
Seems like hitting the ball is what should be tried.
Then there’s that bit about not moving your head.
That’ll be no problem … as soon as you’re dead.
Down and behind the ball is what they say.
Just more of the same … your game’s going that way.
And what’s the deal about a full shoulder turn?
One try and it’s wheelchair racing to learn.
And be sure your follow-through finishes high.
No matter your shot’s an unplayable lie.
Or maybe your release wasn’t just right.
Keep the faith, hacker, the nineteenth’s in sight.
Then they wreck the course with water and rough.
Just making small holes is rotten enough.
Ah, putting; yes, putting … what a miserable part.
A three-footer with a break can tear out your heart.
The worst things of all are those ugly out-of-bounds
With their penalty strokes and club-throwing sounds.
Lessons, hope and practice … no, they’ll never pay.
Watch golf on tv … you’ll be saner that way!
poem by Gregory Huyette
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All I've got against golf is it takes you so far from the clubhouse.
quote by Eric Linklater
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The secret of golf is to turn three shots into two.
quote by Bobby Jones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
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Golf Course Berlin
Make a fortress of the golf course
With eighteen feet high walls
And at each corner towers build
Send Dobermans abroad!
Oh razor-wire the sixteenth hole
And booby-trap the green
Turn bunkers into bunkers
String claymores in-between
Lay mines about the fairways
Dig trenches round the course
Machine-gun mounted golf carts
For the Quick Reaction Force
“And we can send the kids to school
In columns 4X4
They’ll think it fun the U.N. run
A school-run corridor”
Blue helmeted the escorts
Reminders of Berlin
All this to keep the riff-raff out
Or the other fuckers in
poem by Gabriel SimpsonLaw
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Guilty
Just tried to have fun raised hell and then some
I'm a dirt-talkin', beer drinkin', woman chasin' minister's son
Slap on the make-up and blast out the music
Wake up the neighbors with a roar like a teenage heavy metal elephant gun
If you call that guilty then that's what I am
I'm guilty
I'm guilty
I like driving too fast
Love going too far
It seems the law's on my ass every time I stick it out of the door
If you call that guilty then that's what I am
I'm guilty
I'm guilty
Bad boy on a summer night
When the heat makes me mean and I wanna fight
With my pedal to the metal
And I do what I want to do
Bad girls make me feel all right
When it's hot and they start screaming in the night
Golly gee, it's wrong to be so guilty
I'm guilty
Guilty
I'm guilty
My conscience is on vacation in acute degeneration
Willpower has sunk to all-time low
If you call that guilty well I guess I am
I'm guilty
I'm guilty
If you call that guilty then that's what I am
I'm guilty, I'm guilty, I'm guilty, I'm guilty
I'm guilty, I'm guilty, I'm guilty, I'm guilty
Well I'm guilty
Yeah I'm guilty
I don't care
I'm guilty
I think I've been framed anyway
They said I'm guilty
I'm guilty
They're guilty and everyone is guilty
song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Greenies have been part of the clubhouse culture longer than card games.
quote by Michael Wilbon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Zero Covers All
Lately I realize.
I am a numb number,
living through life.
First child.
Date of birth.
Sixth star of twenty-seven.
Scorpio numbers six of twelve.
Studied tenth class,
Then 5-year’s graduation,
Every class I had a scroll number.
Exams written on id number.
Studied law.
Head churning three years,
with numbered sections.
Penal code, constitution.
Clauses of law in numbered sects.
Registered in bar council.
Legal practice.
Case files are numbered.
Subsequently I got,
House number, door number.
Phone number.
Mobile number.
Account numbers.
Credit card number.
Pan card number,
Folio numbers,
Car number,
License number,
Policy number,
Health card number,
Election card number,
Passport number,
Ration card number,
Ultimately, when you put me in morgue,
allotted me a number.
Which, I do no know.
However, I know a number.
I am a big zero.
It covers all my life
Yes, we discovered zero.
What a relief?
Does it not cover all?
fulfill all values!
By the way your number please?
X number or N number?
Infinite numbers.
________________
poem by Satheesan Rangorath
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Guilty
Guilty, guilty
Guilty, I'm paralyzed with guilt
It runs through me like a rain through silk
Guilty, my mind won't leave me alone
My teeth are rotted
my lips start to foam
Cause I'm so guilty
Guilty, guilty
Ooohhh guilty
What did I say
What did I say
What did I do
Did I ever do it to you
Don't turn your back, ah
I can't look you in the eye, ah
Eye eye eye eye
I guess I'm guilty as charged
I guess I'm guilty as charged
Guilty, huh, guilty ah, guilty ah, guilty
Guilty guilty guilty guilty guilty
Don't do that
Don't do that
Don't do what
Oh you're such a child
real fool child
Guilty
What can I do
I do it to you
but I do it to me too
Cut off my head
Cut off my head
Cut off my head, ah
Hang me from the yardarm
Guilty, I'm paralyzed with guilt
I've got bad thoughts
I've got an evil clit
Guilty
Guilty, my mind won't leave me alone
I've got a bad mind
I've got a bad bone
Guilty guilty guilty as charged
Guilty
Don't do that
Don't do what
Don't do that
Oh you're such a reckless child
You remember when you were a baby
Do you remember when you were a baby
Do you have a jury, yeah
Do you have a verdict
Guilty as charged
Guilty guilty guilty as charged
Do you have a verdict
Do you have a verdict
I'm guilty
You're guilty
Oh you're such a reckless child
I should beat you
I should hit you
I'll put you in therapy, ah
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Their Arse From Their Elbow
There are certain people
I have met quite a few,
who could tell you every aspect
of the job you do.
When they sit down to do it
and a problem arises there,
because its not in the textbook
they read so confidently,
they haven’t got a clue
of how to handle it
or really what to do.
They don’t know
their arse from their elbow
when a situation like that appears.
As we walk through life
we gain knowledge with every step we take.
However, there are some people
who read a textbook,
and take tests on it.
Then think they know everything
there is to know.
When in fact they cannot even distinguish
their arse from their elbow.
They have no experience
of what real life is,
only what a textbook says.
One day when they
put the textbook down
and start learning about the real things in life.
We all might have a better place to live.
Let us hope the sooner the better.
10 March 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Guilty Of Love
(coverdale)
I believe my love for you
Is a love that will last forever,
An Im here to testify
Im a prisoner of your heart
Baby dont you believe
When I tell you I love you
That I really mean it,
Dont you walk away,
Dont you turn your back on me
Im guilty of love,
Its a crime of passion
Guilty of love,
An theres no doubt about it,
No doubt about it
Im guilty of love,
Im guilty of love,
Im guilty,
In the first degree
Guilty of love,
Im guilty of love,
Im guilty,
In the first degree
I can never forget the times
When I took what you gave me for granted
So I stand accused
An I plead guilty to the crime
You can lock me away if you want
Just as long as your arms are around me,
An I wont mind
If you just throw away the key
Im guilty of love,
Its a crime of passion
Guilty of love,
An theres no doubt about it,
No doubt about it
Guilty of love,
Im guilty of love,
Im guilty,
In the first degree
Guilty of love,
Im guilty of love,
Im guilty,
In the first degree
Guilty of love...
Im guilty of love,
Its a crime of passion
Guilty of love,
An theres no doubt about it,
No doubt about it
Guilty of love,
Im guilty of love,
Im guilty,
In the first degree
Guilty of love,
Im guilty of love,
Im guilty
Guilty of love,
Im guilty of love,
Im guilty,
In the first degree...
song performed by by Whitesnake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Let Me Go
Once there was a day
We were together all the way
An endless path unbroken
But now there is a time
A torture less sublime
Our souls are locked and frozen
Once we were years ahead but now those thoughts are dead
Let me go
All hopeless fantasies are making fools of me
Let me go
I walk alone and yet I never say goodbye
Let me go
A change of heart a change of mind and heaven fell that night
Let me go
I tried but could not bring
The best of everything
Too breathless then to wonder
I died a thousand times
Found guilty of no crime
Now everything is thunder
Daytime all I want is
Nighttime I dont need the
Daytime all I want is
Nighttime I dont need the
The best years of our lives
The hope of it survives
The facts of life unspoken
The only game in town
Ill turn the last card down
And now the bank is broken
Found guilty of no crime
They were the best years of our lives
Ill turn the last card down
song performed by by Heaven 17
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Live Again
Feeling Nothing
Lonely Empty
You try to walk away but you fall
You cannot understand what's this for
In this world I see it more
The pain you feel that I ignore
You see my face and then you see
nothin'
Confused. you turn and live on
I turn my face
You're staring back again
Look at yourself and live again
Can't see me. you feel me
Want me. you'll find me
I'll be your everything
Will you call
You'll need more and more
When you fall
In this world I see it more
The pain you feel that I ignore
You see my face and then you see
nothing
Confused. you turn and live on
I turn my face
You're staring back again
Look at yourself and live again
How many times have you looked
At yourself and felt mistreated
How does it feel to know that
This life of yours is real
All of your life you've been led
To believe your nothin'
So look at yourself and start to live
again
You see my face and then you see
nothing
Confused you turn and live on
I turn my face
You're staring back again
Look at yourself and live again
If you don't change you'll be nothin'
So look at yourself and live again
I turn my face
You're staring back again
So look at yourself and live again
song performed by by Sevendust from Animosity
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A terse poem on numbers
Numbers are everywhere
twenty four hours in a day
seven days in one week
thirty one in the month of May.
A number on your front door
and on houses down your road
numbers on your credit card
and also of your postal code.
Numbers called out at Bingo
two fat ladies are number eight
and if your numbers come up
you'll go home feeling great.
Would you like a cup of tea?
one or two sugars in your cup?
sorry but I have to go now
that's the end time is up!
poem by Kevin Halls
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This Crazy Game o' Golf
Tae pick up a stick an' chase a wee ba'
I jist canna see the sense in it ava'
Hittin' a ba' roond a park full o' holes
ye'd think t'wis a new wey tae kill a ' the moles
But they tell me it's golf - it's the "IN" game the noo
It swackens ye up withoot hae' in tae bou'
Bit if yon's meant tae swacken ye? - Hodgin' aboot
Aff o' ae fit on' till't ither, o' this there's nae doot
Yer banes are mair like tae seize up than tae swacken
Bit golfin' freends say "Fresh air is nae lackin'"
"Jist think o't yer lungs are gettin' a treat"
Bit wi' the win' there is here ye'd be blawn aff yer feet
An faur's the fresh air, faur's the sport faur's the tricks
Fin the rain's poorin oot o' the doup o' yer breeks
An' syne come the winter, it's nae eese ava'
Lookin' for holes amon' sax fit o' snaw
So takkin't a' roond, ye'd be better by far,
Tae stick tae the nineteenth - an' bide in the bar!
poem by Frances Jaffray
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Eighteen
Eighteen
Alice Cooper
(Bruce, Cooper, Dunaway, Smith, Buxton)
Lines form on my face and hands
Lines form from the ups and downs
I'm in the middle without any plans
I'm a boy and I'm a man
I'm eighteen
and I don't know what I want
Eighteen
I just don't know what I want
Eighteen
I gotta get away
I gotta get out of this place
I'll go runnin in outer space
Oh yeah
I got a
baby's brain and an old man's heart
Took eighteen years to get this far
Don't always know what I'm talkin' about
Feels like I'm livin in the middle of doubt
Cause I'm
Eighteen
I get confused every day
Eighteen
I just don't know what to say
Eighteen
I gotta get away
Lines form on my face and my hands
Lines form on the left and right
I'm in the middle
the middle of life
I'm a boy and I'm a man
I'm eighteen and I LIKE IT
Yes I like it
Oh I like it
Love it
Like it
Love it
Eighteen!
Eighteen!
Eighteen!
Eighteen and I LIKE IT
song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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