The Logical Vegetarian
"Why shouldn't I have a purely vegetarian drink? Why shouldn't I take vegetables in their highest form, so to speak? The modest vegetarians ought to stick to wine or beer, plain vegetable drinks, instead of filling their goblets with the blood of bulls and elephants, as all conventional meat-eaters do, I suppose"--Dalroy.
You will find me drinking rum,
Like a sailor in a slum,
You will find me drinking beer like a Bavarian
You will find me drinking gin
In the lowest kind of inn
Because I am a rigid Vegetarian.
So I cleared the inn of wine,
And I tried to climb the sign,
And I tried to hail the constable as "Marion."
But he said I couldn't speak,
And he bowled me to the Beak
Because I was a Happy Vegetarian.
Oh, I know a Doctor Gluck,
And his nose it had a hook,
And his attitudes were anything but Aryan;
So I gave him all the pork
That I had, upon a fork
Because I am myself a Vegetarian.
I am silent in the Club,
I am silent in the pub.,
I am silent on a bally peak in Darien;
For I stuff away for life
Shoving peas in with a knife,
Because I am a rigid Vegetarian.
No more the milk of cows
Shall pollute my private house
Than the milk of the wild mares of the Barbarian
I will stick to port and sherry,
For they are so very, very,
So very, very, very, Vegetarian.
poem by Gilbert Keith Chesterton
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
The Logical Vegetarian
You will find me drinking rum,
Like a sailor in a slum,
You will find me drinking beer like a Bavarian.
You will find me drinking gin
In the lowest kind of inn,
Because I am a rigid Vegetarian.
So I cleared the inn of wine,
And I tried to climb the sign,
And I tried to hail the constable as “Marion.”
But he said I couldn’t speak,
And he bowled me to the Beak
Because I was a Happy Vegetarian.
Oh, I knew a Doctor Gluck,
And his nose it had a hook,
And his attitudes were anything but Aryan;
So I gave him all the pork
That I had, upon a fork;
Because I am myself a Vegetarian.
I am silent in the Club,
I am silent in the pub,
I am silent on a bally peak in Darien;
For I stuff away for life
Shoving peas in with a knife,
Because I am at heart a Vegetarian.
No more the milk of cows
Shall pollute my private house
Than the milk of the wild mares of the Barbarian;
I will stick to port and sherry,
For they are so very, very
So very, very, very Vegetarian.
poem by G.K. Chesterton (1915)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
Vote! | Copy!
I'm a vegetarian - I think there's a strong possibility, had I not become a vegetarian, I would not be working now. I became a vegetarian about 25 years ago, and I did it out of concern for animals. But I immediately began having more energy and feeling better.
quote by Bob Barker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
When I work, I try to eat as much vegetarian as possible. When I do Cupid, I eat vegetarian because I need the energy. I've got those wings on my back.
quote by Karl Urban
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
quote by A. Whitney Brown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
quote by A. Whitney Brown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy! | In Romanian
There are three reasons why this book came into being. First, throughout the 33 years I've been writing recipes - although I'm not vegetarian myself - I have greatly enjoyed creating vegetarian recipes, and cooking and serving them at home.
quote by Delia Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Say Ten
Shes not eatin bacon, not eatin sausage
And she wont eat eggs,
Not eatin chicken, not eatin turkey,
She wont have a steak,
But I just cant help feelin sorry
For this poor little lettuce head
You know, I cant stop cryin
cause I know this broccolis dead
Vegetarian, Im not a vegetarian
Vegetarian...shes a
Poor little cow, little sheep
Little fish how can I sleep?
When carrots are bleedin
Plants are screamin and tomatoes cry
You say its not so bad
Theyre only vegetables, thats what you said
Maybe Im a murderer, but Im hungry
And theyre better off dead
Save a plant, eat a cow
I want beef, I want it now!
Im gonna eat it cause its red!
Im gonna eat it cause its dead!
Maybe I should eat it raw
Let the blood run down my jaw
Id eat people if it was legal
Id eat people if it was legal!
song performed by by Reel Big Fish
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
National Vegetarian Week....Oct 1 to Oct 7, , , ,2010
Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances of survival for life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.”
— Albert Einstein
“Vegetarian as a general concept is a brilliant thing. We've got to stop eating so much meat. We are eating too much meat.” — Jamie Oliver
“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.” — Paul McCartney
“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” — Mahatma Gandhi
“Now at last I can look at you in peace; I don't eat you anymore.” — Franz Kafka (Novelist)
“When we eat vegetarian foods, we needn't worry about what kind of disease our food died from; this makes a joyful meal! ” — John Harvey Kellogg, M.D.
“Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends.” — George Bernard Shaw
“We don't need to eat anyone who would run, swim, or fly away if he could.” — James Cromwell
“I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it for I shall not pass this way again.” — Stephen Grellet
“If you knew how meat was made, you'd probably lose your lunch.” — K.D. Lang
“To become vegetarian is to step into the stream which leads to nirvana.” — Buddha
“The time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look on the murder of men.” — Leonardo da Vinci
“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” — Mark Twain
“Sympathy for the animals is one of the noblest virtues with which man is endowed.” — Charles Darwin
“I did not become a vegetarian for my health, I did it for the health of the chickens.” — Isaac Bashevis Singer
“Going veg was much easier than I had first imagined. My family and I enjoy knowing we are helping to save the planet at each meal.”
— Carol of Bardon, QLD
Animals Gods gift to mankind to be a kind man..Ken e Hall
poem by Ken e Hall
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Day I Got My Finger Stuck Up My Nose
When I got my finger stuck up my nose
I went to a doctor, who said,
"Nothing like this has happened before,
We will have to chop off your head."
"It's only my finger stuck up my nose,
It's only my finger!" I said.
"I see what it is," the doctor replied,
"But we'll still have to chop off your head."
He went to the cabinet and took out an axe.
I watched with considerable dread.
"But it's only my finger stuck up my nose.
It's only a finger!" I said.
"Perhaps we can yank it out with a hook
Tied to some surgical thread.
Maybe we can try that," he replied
"Rather than chop off your head."
"I'm never going to pick it again.
I've now learned my lesson," I said.
"I won't stick my finger up my nose -
I'll stick it in my ear instead."
poem by Brian Patten
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Wasps are Carnivores
Wasps are carnivores
Yes they eat meat
Aggressive meat eaters
mean meat eating stinging machines
I am not vegetarian
But I don't have a sting in my tail
Bloody wasps spoil the summer.
I googled to see if they did anything useful
I didn't like what I found
Without them, wine would not exist.
Ok ok I don't hate you quite as much
But is this why you are so smug?
Sometimes after wine I get a sting in my tail!
poem by Stevie Taite
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I do not say that one who is vegetarian is full of compassion and one who is not, is otherwise. We sometimes find people, who are vegetarians, are very bad people.
quote by Morarji Desai
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
My Computer
"what?" they say, "you got a
computer?"
it's like I have sold out to
the enemy.
I had no idea so many
people were prejudiced
against
computers.
even two editors have
written me letters about
the computer.
one disparaged the
computer in a mild and
superior way.
the other seemed
genuinely
pissed.
I am aware that a
computer can't create
a poem.
but neither can a
typewriter.
yet, still, once or
twice a week
I hear:
"what?
you have a
computer?
you?"
yes, I do
and I sit up here
almost every
night,
sometimes with
beer or
wine,
sometimes
without
and I work the
computer.
the damn thing
even corrects
my spelling.
and the poems
come flying
out,
better than
ever.
I have no
idea what causes
all this
computer
prejudice.
me?
I want to go
the next step
beyond the
computer.
I'm sure it's
there.
and when I get
it,
they'll say,
"hey, you hear,
Chinaski got a
space-biter!"
"what? "
"yes, it's true!"
"I can't believe
it!"
and I'll also have
some beer or
some wine
or maybe nothing
at all
and I'll be
85 years old
driving it home
to
you and me
and to the little girl
who lost her
sheep.
or her
computer.
poem by Charles Bukowski
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Gardener XXVI: What Comes From Your Willing Hands
"What comes from your willing
hands I take. I beg for nothing
more."
"Yes, yes, I know you, modest
mendicant, you ask for all that one
has."
"If there be a stray flower for me
I will wear it in my heart."
"But if there be thorns?"
"I will endure them."
"Yes, yes, I know you, modest
mendicant, you ask for all that one
has."
"If but once you should raise your
loving eyes to my face it would make
my life sweet beyond death."
"But if there be only cruel
glances?"
"I will keep them piercing my
heart."
"Yes, yes, I know you, modest
mendicant, you ask for all that one
has."
poem by Rabindranath Tagore
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Eating and Drinking chapter VI
Then an old man, a keeper of an inn, said, "Speak to us of Eating and Drinking."
And he said:
Would that you could live on the fragrance of the earth, and like an air plant be sustained by the light.
But since you must kill to eat, and rob the young of its mother's milk to quench your thirst, let it then be an act of worship,
And let your board stand an altar on which the pure and the innocent of forest and plain are sacrificed for that which is purer and still more innocent in many.
When you kill a beast say to him in your heart,
"By the same power that slays you, I to am slain; and I too shall be consumed. For the law that delivered you into my hand shall deliver me into a mightier hand.
Your blood and my blood is naught but the sap that feeds the tree of heaven."
And when you crush an apple with your teeth, say to it in your heart,
"Your seeds shall live in my body,
And the buds of your tomorrow shall blossom in my heart,
And your fragrance shall be my breath,
And together we shall rejoice through all the seasons."
And in the autumn, when you gather the grapes of your vineyard for the winepress, say in you heart,
"I too am a vineyard, and my fruit shall be gathered for the winepress,
And like new wine I shall be kept in eternal vessels."
And in winter, when you draw the wine, let there be in your heart a song for each cup;
And let there be in the song a remembrance for the autumn days, and for the vineyard, and for the winepress.
poem by Khalil Gibran
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Intimacy
I hear people say, "I love my iPhone, "
Or, "I love drinking a Starbucks coffee."
Sometimes: "I love my Versace cologne, "
And also: "I love having this money."
I hear people say, "I love my Walmart, "
Or, "I love the drive-thru at Taco Bell."
"I love my TV. It's state of the art."
"I love the shoes that Nike has to sell."
I hear this: "I love American Idol, "
And, "I love a nice, cold Budweiser."
"I love medicines such as Demerol."
And, "I love my internet provider."
Yet, one thing I don't hear is, "I love you."
Saying that is too intimate to do.
poem by Tim Stensloff
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The woman I am currently crazy about was a vegetarian for a year until I started dating her. As is the case with most vegetarians, she had never eaten properly prepared meat, only commercially packaged or otherwise abused flesh.
quote by Steve Albini
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Just The Way It Is
'What makes a town,
Some would call...small? '
The minds of the people.
'Well...
If that is known,
Why do they continue to choose
To prove their ignorance? '
Maybe they are not doing that for you.
You see the others?
They are doing that with them too!
And since you are observing this,
To bring it to my attention...
Perhaps if you do not mention it again,
No one will know that you are the one out of place.
The one who criticizes their lives and the pace.
Look around...
See the blank look on their faces?
An absence of thinking,
Connecting together the process of thoughts!
Do you think what they and I have chosen to do...
Will make a difference to the very few,
Who have chosen to live peacefully...
Amongst those who have been blinded,
By a lack of identity?
When invited to a bar-be-cue,
The best thing to do...
Especially if you accept,
Is not to profess to be a vegetarian!
Or begin to sermonize about the eating of cows...
And the drinking of milk.
Who do you 'think' would be considered the fool?
So maybe they are not out to prove anything...
To you or to me or to anyone else!
That's just the way it is here!
Just like some places have Palm Trees.
And here you will find Maple and Pine!
Now...
If you chose to move away from all of this.
My guess is that no one here would mind...
Or notice.
That's just the way it is,
Here!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
You Are Old Father William
"You are old, father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head --
Do you think, at your age, it is right?
"In my youth," father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."
"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
And you have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door --
Pray what is the reason for that?"
"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment -- one shilling a box --
Allow me to sell you a couple?"
"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak --
Pray, how did you mange to do it?"
"In my youth," said his fater, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."
"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as every;
Yet you balanced an eel on the tend of your nose --
What made you so awfully clever?"
"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs.
poem by Lewis Carroll
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Us Two
Wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
There's always Pooh and Me.
Whatever I do, he wants to do,
"Where are you going today?" says Pooh:
"Well, that's very odd 'cos I was too.
Let's go together," says Pooh, says he.
"Let's go together," says Pooh.
"What's twice eleven?" I said to Pooh.
("Twice what?" said Pooh to Me.)
"I think it ought to be twenty-two."
"Just what I think myself," said Pooh.
"It wasn't an easy sum to do,
But that's what it is," said Pooh, said he.
"That's what it is," said Pooh.
"Let's look for dragons," I said to Pooh.
"Yes, let's," said Pooh to Me.
We crossed the river and found a few-
"Yes, those are dragons all right," said Pooh.
"As soon as I saw their beaks I knew.
That's what they are," said Pooh, said he.
"That's what they are," said Pooh.
"Let's frighten the dragons," I said to Pooh.
"That's right," said Pooh to Me.
"I'm not afraid," I said to Pooh,
And I held his paw and I shouted "Shoo!
Silly old dragons!"- and off they flew.
"I wasn't afraid," said Pooh, said he,
"I'm never afraid with you."
So wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
There's always Pooh and Me.
"What would I do?" I said to Pooh,
"If it wasn't for you," and Pooh said: "True,
It isn't much fun for One, but Two,
Can stick together, says Pooh, says he. "That's how it is," says Pooh.
poem by Alan Alexander Milne
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
My Idea Of Bliss
Explained to my colleague my idea of bliss, giving
up meat, finding the taste revolting, eating butter
on rye crackerbread and drinking milk powder in
coffee - she frowned and told me this would be
fattening, I would grow as round as the earth
Yet before doing this I ate the right food on my
husband's safe food list and had to watch my
widening girth; now I don't fear the enemy in
butter and milk, as long as I have no hunger
pains to plague me all day, no headaches
No allergy symptoms at play, I am content to
leave the meat on my plate, if turning into a
vegetarian is the next step in healing from
aches and pains, I shall rejoice, eating
creatures with higher consciousness
Just seems so wrong - I'm holding thumbs
this healing goes on…
poem by Margaret Alice Second
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!