A Farewell Lay For Minette

I

Minette, the wind now whispers, are sometimes raging
as if its calling your name while I am aging
and forever you will be sweet and young,
sometimes it feels as if around me a war is waging

while I am trying to find my way
in a world where destiny sometimes havoc play
are looking for answers to the questions of life and living
while my life passes without you day after day.

II

Far too happy was the day that we met
as if by some fiddling of destiny it was set
and while I stopped to give you help
with tears your cheeks was wet,

but the smile that came upon your face
said thank you with a kind of amazing grace
while I changed your car's tire
from sudden nervousness my hands felt out of place.

It was as if the morning sun
had suddenly risen before the day had begun
and although we did not say a single word
your company was loads of fun.

In my car's four sharp head lamps your golden hair
was pretty and you were more beautiful than just fair
while on the wind I caught a whiff of your scent
it felt as if your presence was predetermined to be there.

III

That summer was a really lovely one
even the breeze had a joyous tone
while we laughed fell in love almost at a whim
and far too quickly our time together was gone.

You were so part of me you were in my heart and head,
in quick understanding few words were ever said
but our loving, our companionship and understanding was intense
and together we could only see great things lying ahead.


IV

Standing at your grave I saw the wind
turning the red sand into clouds of dust,
coming strong from behind
and at your death broken
there was no answer that I could find.

Maybe we had to much sheer happiness
found a lifetime's joy in our moments of bliss
as we thought that the rest of our lives
would simply be like this.

V

At times I have tried to forget you
have tried to paint my life a different hue,
forget the way it was between us
but some memories always stay true

and memories at times brings everything back
when you return with an uncanny knack
and in lonely evenings
when the sky is black

I dream of you joining me
and like always you look happy and free
while from each other we are separated
and there's an inadequacy

a dividing thing between the living and the dead
and sometimes our meetings come with a kind of dread
while you stay part of me
and it's a strange, strange life to lead.

VI

Minette, the wind howls, there's rain
coming down while lightning bolts flash again and again
and it's almost as if I can touch you, catch your essence
but my heart is full of pain

and maybe its time to say goodbye,
in this rainy, stormy weather
to really again live in a place where the sun shines
when the sky glows within its ether.

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A conversation with Minette

My dear, destiny has separated us
and my life goes on without meaning
and you are at another place, far away from me.

I am seasons and a lifetime gone from you,
but still forever bonded to you
and although I am another person, you are still stay part of me

and in the evenings you are near
when I lift my eyes to the stars.
My dear, destiny has separated us

and only in my dreams my life seems real
when you are like a flower with me,
and I am not blinded by the day’s bright rays,

while I find new meaning,
I feel you material as a human being, when you stand next to me
and you are at another place, far away from me

at a place of which I do not know the extent
caught in the clutches of death
when you are like a flower with me

and sometimes I wish that you would stay with me
that you do not disappear with the morning light.
My dear, destiny has separated us

as if human life always hangs in the balance,
as if man is forever extradited to a Godly decision
caught in the clutches of death,

we life on, immoral or sincere
until death devours us
and although I am another person, you are still stay part of me

I am not able to loose your spirit, your humanity
but still feel your love reaching out too me.
As if man is forever extradited to a Godly decision

life passes much too quickly
even when you bring your hands together in prayer.
My dear, destiny has separated us
and you are at another place, far away from me,

but it’s still as if your bright blue eyes look at me.
Now I am seasons and a lifetime gone from you,
but still feel your love reaching out to me
and although I am another person, you still stay part of me.

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A Day With A New Morn (Luc-Bat)

The wind whispers in rage
while with time I do age each day
when mere fate havoc play,
and I was on my way; was wet
the day that we had met,
my life was already set by grace
with a smile on your face,
we went to a new place for fun,
the day did just begun,
was hot with the bright sun, was fair
with colour in your hair,
a thing was in the air and gone,
like a sweet kind of tone
that had just moved on a page.

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My Mom

My Mom was like a perfect rose at springtime,
Pure and beautiful, and the petals perfectly formed,
And it's fragrance sweet and pleasing to the senses.
For the rose, as my mom, came into this world as a thing of beauty.

As time passed, the winds came into my mother's life,
For as life brings the rose, it also brings the winds.
The wind blows the petals off the rose and it is no longer new
And struggles through the wind to regain its strength and beauty.

Because the rose by God's design is a thing of splendor,
The petals grow back as the winds die down,
As did my mother, for her spirit was strong,
And she lived her life with a love that had no boundaries.

My Mom fought many winds with grace and strength,
Always with a smile and never to bring sadness to anyone,
For she could not bear to see anyone cry,
She was too full of love and life to let the wind touch her spirit.

Mom was my perfect rose; beautiful, warm, loving, and sweet.
She is safe from the winds now and lives in Heaven.
She will live on in my heart always,
And ease the strong wind that weakens me.

Someday the wind will be only a gentle breeze upon my face,
And I will know that she lives on in me forever.
I will know that my Mom is still with me,
Still beautiful and strong and loving.

She is safe now and so much stronger than the winds
The she so courageously endured.
And in that she taught me to believe, have faith, and to know
That I have the strength to endure the winds of my own sorrow.

I love you Mom, you are forever in my heart - you are forever.

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Totally Lost

I

With someone new to adore,
you are constantly
haunting me
as if at times you can penetrate through death
but sometimes I know that I am fabricating it
and for years you are out of my life
but sometimes I cannot get you out of my thoughts
before you jump into my heart again
as if you are not peaceful
on the other side
and in my sorrow and in life's coldness
I am stranded here
and you find no kind of relief
in the late night's big silence.

II

In the late night's big silence
my thoughts are at times with you,
while the big separation brings a chill
while I keep clinging to memories.
You are much too far from me
and your whole humanity
cannot stay here,
and it appears at times when I read your old letters,
when you are like a flower to me
that could grow in the earth of my soul
but death has divided us
and untimely you were pruned away in your prime
and still your absence cuts through me like a raw cry,
sometimes it's much better not to know about you.

III

Sometimes it's much better not to know about you,
to totally wipe out that which was between us
to forget the memories and passion
as if nothing had been
to cause your presence to eternally fade away,
to let each memory slowly pine away,
to stop me from daring in my dreams
to search for you to appear
and I am in a world where yours are divided from mine,
where I have got to keep to the here and now,
where I have to know that we are in separate places
and I am aware of this reality
that destiny cruelly rips lives apart with her claws;
my whole world was where you went

IV

My whole world was where you went
and in you I found my rest and joy
while you were with me as my darling
but life had devoured it far too suddenly
while my existence was anchored to you,
while our things was limitless deep
and we both were trusting on God
while now alone I search for answers,
where without you I see a new tomorrow,
while suddenly pain cuts unexpectedly through me
and I in despair try to cling
to the little that remain of you
and forever we are separate from each other,
you are buried in your coffin and I know sorrow.

V

You are buried in your coffin and I know sorrow
and no stranger asks about you or walks past,
there are people dressed in black
everywhere in the church around me
and everyone is disenchanted
where they are mourning
and it's as if nothing can break through the darkness
that appears about you a pretty girl, already a woman
and suddenly the minister starts talking at the front,
the sexton walks to the back and asks: 'who is lying here? '
his voice resounds through the whole church
and he gets no answer.
The service passes much too quickly;
I feel like I can fight against God.

VI

I feel like I can fight against God,
I cannot really know,
why some people lead longer lives
and for others life is measured out into darkness,
still less I know for what I am searching,
something stays just out of my reach
as if it is involved with the things that are happening
and just when I look it's already gone,
it's just beyond the bright blue
as if I am living with an incomplete purpose
where I am almost seeing it, it's almost in my thoughts
but I cannot see or feel it
and I know that something terrible is wrong,
where everything eventually becomes chaos.

VII

Where everything eventually becomes chaos,
where the whole world are waiting on disintegration,
I wonder what makes me languish
for new life, for the rain that pours down?
What lets me hope that very soon
a glorious age, a glorious day will appear
on the other side of the dark night
while everything around me with time collapses?
Now I hope to have someone else again,
that your life and hours of pain disappear
and again I want to begin with someone anew,
while I stay trusting that the answers lie in the hands of God,
while I believe that the sun will shine on me again
with someone new to adore.

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Eheu Fugaces

Do I remind you Annelize, of our lost love,
of every card, every letter
bushes of roses that I gave almost without end
about the bonds that we made to a marriage;
our memories will last to the end of time
there are things that we cannot forget.

Minette, sometimes moments are matchless
your time was fragile like a rose
and now there's only a dream in which you are,
you are part of the eternal darkness;
our memories will last to the end of time
there are things that we cannot forget.

Riana, do you remember the summer moon
when we went on honeymoon to the hills
how joyous you loved me,
the bracelet with wild animals,
our memories will last to the end of time
there are things that we cannot forget.

Mandi, do you recall our conversations on the porch,
the twilight when the doves call each other,
the poems that we both did write and share;
we did love each other or did I only image it?
Our memories will last to the end of time
there are things that we cannot forget.

l'Envoi
Daleen, you are the only one
who selflessly does love me from the start,
it's as if our love lingers from the act of creation,
as if God Himself has determined our bond
and no other woman I can love more heartfelt
as you are the one that brings greatness to me

you do restore my humanity, to be whole again,
when continually you set my life to new meaning
and its you that I love eternally
who I know and understand like myself
and always you are in my shadow,
as the one that sometimes catches me like a net,
in times of big happiness and utter grieve
the one with whom I want to share all of my years.

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The Rain

Roxette - the rain
I was raised the northern way and my
Father had a northern name, I did my
Crying out in the pouring rain. and a
Season turned into another one, I found
A heart bright like the morning sun. he
Touched my lips, so softly, with his fingertips.
But I kept the rain falling down on me
All the time, all the time. I kept the rain
Falling down on me all the time, all the time.
And some things in life wont ever
Change, theres a smell of a rusty chain
And of love disappearing like an aeroplane.
Ive kept the rain falling down on me
All the time, all the time. Ive kept the rain
Falling down on me all the time, all the time,
All the time.
White lion - broken heart
Here I stand, all alone
Trying to fight the pain from a broken heart
Why she left me? I dont know
It really doesnt matter anymore
I thought our love could last forever
But here I stand lost and all alone
Start a new day, but not alone
Im gonna break away from this broken heart
Ill meet a woman. Im gonna take her home
(where) Ill pick all the pieces and start all over again
I know that life will be much better
Cause I know the (light) will shine again
Chorus:
There is life even after a broken heart, broken heart
You can fight the pain from a broken heart broken heart
I know that life will be much better
Ch:
Repeat ch
White lion - farewell to you
Well its time to say goodbye my friend
Im glad you stayed until the end
I hope that youve enjoyed the time we spent
Though I know that I will be back again
I dont know just how soon my friend
Until we meet again just think of me
Ill think of you
It was easier to say hello
Than to say goodbye
Now the bus is leaving once again
I bid farewell to you
Oh oh yeah
I remember all the fun we had
And all the tears when times were bad
But you were there when we were down nout
And I know that I will not forget
What was written and what was said
And who was there when we were not on top
Of the world
It was easier to say hello
Than to say goodbye
Now the bus is leaving once again
I bid farewell to you
Oh oh yeah
Yes its time to say auf wiedersehn
Sayonara nciao my friend
Youll always have a place within my heart
And rock will come and rock will go
The scene will change and time will show
But still I hope that Ill be there for you
Be there for me
It was easier to say hello
Than to say goodbye
Now the bus is leaving once again
I bid farewell to you
Oh oh yeah
White lion - its over
Theres a little note beside this empty bed
I hear the back door slam nbaby youre on your way
You know I cried a thousand times before you left
You say that this is it
But baby cant you wait
You take your love and go far away
But Ill be missing your everyday
Cause its over
And theres nothing I can do
Yeah its over
But Im still in love with you
Over, over, over
But I love you girl
And I want you back again
This house is lonely and cold without you here
I wish the pain inside my heart would disappear
I know that I was wrong to treat you like I did
But dont you think our love deserves a second chance
When all the love is gone from your heart
And everything we had falls apart
Then its over
And theres nothing I can do
Yeah its over
But Im still in love with you
Over, over, over
But I love you girl
And I want you back again
Tears are falling from my eyes as I cry
I only wish that you were here
If only you had told me
If only I had known
Maybe you would still
Be sleeping in my arms
Wont you let me know
Wont you let it show
Now its over
And theres nothing I can do
Yeah its over
But Im still in love with you
Over, over, over
But I love you girl
And I want you back again
White lion - love dont come easy
There comes a time
When baby you nme
We gotta work it out
Whatever it will be
It feels so right
But somewhere deep inside
You dont know how you feel
You dont know if it is real
Do you want it
Do you need it
Cause love dont come easy
Do you want it
Do you need it
Cause love dont come easy
There comes a time
When you wake up one day
Not knowing if our love
Will take us all the way
Then suddenly,
You feel you must decide
If we should carry on
With what weve just begun
You know that it aint always easy
You know that it aint always right
When love finds a place in your heart
Do you want it
Do you need it
Cause love dont come easy
Do you want it
Do you need it
Cause love dont come easy
You can walk out thru this open door
Just like so many times before
If you dont find what you are looking for
You may be lost forevermore
You know that it aint always easy
You know that it aint always right
When love finds a place in your heart
There comes a time
When baby you should know
We are gonna make it
You gotta let it show
Cause I cant wait
And find out in the end
That you will not be standing
Right here by my side
White lion - till death do us part
As we talk the golden mile
Down the pretty aisle
I know that you are mine
And theres nothing in this world
That I know that I wanna do
To be near you everyday
Every hour every minute
Take my hand and let me lead the way
All thru your life
Ill be by your side
Till death do us part
Ill be your friend
My love will never end
Till death do us part
When I wake up everyday
With you lying in my arms
I wonder if Im dreaming
When I look into your eyes
I just cant believe its true
That my heart belongs to you
Baby you can have it all
Take my hand and let me lead the way
All thru your life
Ill be by your side
Till death do us part
Ill be your friend
My love will never end
Till death do us part
Therell be good times
And therell be bad
But I will stand beside you woman
All the way
And thru the years
As life goes on non
When snow will fall on winter nights
Ill keep you warm inside
Yeah baby I will
All thru your life
Ill be by your side
Till death do us part
Ill be your friend
My love will never end
Till death do us part
White lion - youre all I need
I know that shes waiting
For me to say forever
I know that I sometimes
Just dont know how to tell her
I want to hold and kiss her
Give her my love
Make her believe
Cause she doesnt know
She doesnt know
Youre all I need beside me girl
Youre all I need to turn my world
Youre all I want inside my heart
Youre all I need when were apart
I know that shes always
There when I need her loving
I know that Ive never
Told her how much I love her
I see her face before me
I look in her eyes
Wondering why
She doesnt know
She doesnt know
Youre all I need beside me girl
Youre all I need to turn my world
Youre all I want inside my heart
Youre all I need when were apart
Say, say that youll be there
Whenever I reach out
To feel your hand in mine
Stay, stay within my heart
Whenever Im alone
Ill know that you are there
Youre all I need beside me girl
Youre all I need to turn my world
Youre all I want inside my heart
Youre all I need when were apart
Youre all I need, etc.
All that I need
Is for you to believe
All that I need
Is you

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When Our Love Is True (Sonnet Corona)

I

When all things of our love are really true
like it was on every yesterday,
and nothing at all can make it decay,
when the special thing between me and you

do not pass us by as other things do
and on every sunny day by day
we do live, cry, laugh and sometimes play
and by tomorrow you feel this way too

and still love me then just as tenderly
then I am blessed have joys in excess
when you fill me, even when I lie prone,
your loving is more then I can express
and become part, in what I want to be
in a lower hue, a much simpler tone.

II

In a lower hue, a much simpler tone
where we bring smiles to each other’s faces,
this is how we make our love our own,
where we can walk to some different places

and always as allies walk hand in hand
turning defeat to the enemy’s retreat,
making this great earth our own piece of land
as true compatriots on the busy street.

Where at times some similar thoughts and speech
comes to hand without having to compare,
without having to split as each to each,
being one in everything that we share:

you are grounded in me like a new root,
my heart is like a growing, rising shoot.

III

My heart is like a growing, rising shoot
whose tiny boughs grow true and somewhat free,
my heart is like a spreading tiny taproot
that anchors you very deeply to me.

My heart is like a small burning cheroot
that always brings you some sweet tranquillity,
my heart is like a yellow ripened fruit
on your beloved type of small tree.

My heart is like some small fishes that scoot
away to safety in the deepest sea,
where none other big predator can loot
but only you in true serenity

and I really whither in your absence;
of me you are the living essence.

IV

Of me you are the living essence
of everything that is good in me
that I experience with your presence
the joy of life with a heart kind and free

and so very subtle, so very gently
your eyes wander into my humanity
as if suddenly and just presently
you do know each single activity

before I even consciously perceive
any kind of living words and deeds
and from you I always only receive
blessings for all my tiny wants and needs,

every single day you make my heart sing,
you complete me fully in everything.

V

You complete me fully in everything
while you walk and run in my shadow,
your love is my greatest single blessing
and yet you say that love you do not know.

When from all of my life you are gone,
something essential and great is missing
and when I am single, the only one
even every single thought and feeling

is halved separately and it feels
as if my whole presence, my body
from my head right up to my heels
do not belong to me or to anybody

without you my soul is really underfed,
as if the lamp shatters, no light is shed.

VI

As if the lamp shatters, no light is shed,
if the rain falls and the rainbow is gone,
when any music instrument is dead
and you say nothing and there is none

other light, rainbow, music or any words
the look in your eye, your soft sensual touch
still then remains as tiny records
of nearness of deeds of love, to vouch

for the feelings, for the real principles
that binds us so simply unseen together
and like true reverent following disciples
of an immaterial thing we do not bother

with separating, without you I have no peace,
I do not know if love can increase

VII

I do not know if love can increase,
boundless in its integrity to lie
in every small thing between you and I
and our happy feelings never to cease

even when with time our lives decrease
still to be under a blue radiant sky
to cherish what we have, before we die
even if our lives are not lived with ease

I would wish for you to be only with me,
to struggle along in life’s tournament
even if disaster comes out of the blue,
to live your life to your heart’s full content
and I would love you with intensity
when all things of our love are really true.

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Better It Would Have Been (Sonnet Corona / Crown Of Sonnets)

I

Without you much better it would have been,
if in this wide world under all the skies
I did not know you, I had never seen
the glimmer, the attraction in your eyes.

Better it would have been if I unseen
at the braking of that particular day
joyous, somewhat sincere like a teen
went on another different kind of way,

I would then have totally missed you
as our love, our joy was sealed in vain.
You would not have opportunity to do
things that leave much heartache and pain

as your heart was set in some treachery,
your blunt rebuke was not sought by me.


II

Your blunt rebuke was not sought by me,
yet you gave it to me as if earned,
as if from it I was not to be free,
its impact did hurt and really burned

right into my depths, my heart's inner core
and still I then very much loved you
every day more and even much more
as something very sincere and true

but my Lord I loved more deeper still
as He always dwelled in everything
and I try to live by His very will,
with your love being at times a cursing

and at times there was water on my glasses;
when the wild wind rushes through the grasses.


III

When the wild wind rushes through the grasses,
it is something that you will never see
nor the beauty of the places were it passes
as you can never be really quite free

from the rich earthly things that embraces
you in wantonness, in deep iniquity
and at many different kinds of places
high up on the hill and down in the lea

diamonds adorn grasses and wild flowers
as if nature cries for you and me
as tears of dew that shines, not from showers
while life is how it's determined to be,

when you had chosen a fresh sort of start;
I did not ask you to return my heart.


IV

I did not ask you to return my heart
you have trampled it again and again
and now it would be really just in vain
as it is broken in every part

but now from each other being apart
we live separate lives of joy and pain
and the simple fact does still remain,
it does not take someone really quite smart

to know that when you do not have me
your whole life becomes somewhat mundane,
then you do not really want to be free
and I know that it sounds very inane
but obviously I cannot anymore be
yours in love's strange painful mystery.


V

Yours in love's strange painful mystery
were without any tears and full of glee
but left me totally broken hearted
then I noted after more than fifteen years

that you did not take a last kind of kiss,
from me was taking whatever you could,
had totally forgotten our sweet bliss,
maybe I knew this was the way that it would.

I wish time and again not to have know you
in the way that it ended when you were gone,
while then you had been wickedly untrue
had have intimate sex with someone,

it's sometimes hard to be the only one,
when at night in darkness I lie down alone.


VI

When at night in darkness I lie down alone
the golden moon and all the stars are bright
and some of them to me are quite unknown,
Orion and the seven sisters gleam at night

but life does continually carry on
the morning sun seems at times out of sight
and it is stripped from all affection
but can constantly bring back life and light

to what is still left of my kind of world,
as if everything is falling apart
and in all the things that I do behold
you seem to be somehow the crucial part

as if everything was astray leaden,
as you left me, my life did then deaden.


VII

As you left me, my life did then deaden
as if being tied up and underfed,
walking away, not anymore a maiden,
leaving my heart filled with only dread.

In love I saw you as pure and holy
a mother for children, true to the gods,
but with your lover you acted lowly
as you did cast me away to life's odds

and you have lost all the joyful graces
with the very thoughts of you that remain,
images of your many different faces
are filled to the brim with utter pain

and to meet you again I am not keen,
without you much better it would have been.

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A Declaration of Love Revealed

Know that if anything happened to you then I would die an eternity in an instant,
I can picture now the deconstruction of my faith in the world and I know that all
That I could dream of was hearing your voice upon the wind. I have full faith in
Fate and that those who wish for a love of life will have the universe conspire for them.
I know you shall be fine, I know you will have the time of your life but this will never stop me worrying for so deep is the grandeur of my emotion, I understand however that you may feel strange, and at times that I myself am a little deranged but know that my heart is constantly calling out your name and though it could
Never be you who made me blue, it is my inability to cope with my feelings for you,
For I know that no commitments are to be made and I know that perhaps that you are to
Meet the love of your life upon your travels but I need you to know that at this time I can not comprehend that fate could throw my way such a soul of beauty without reason.

Know that at I am an appreciator of all, and that I have fallen for you, if you can not return affection I beg you know the honor I bestow upon you in holding you in the light I do. Know that I’ll always be there to comfort you, in and out of my own blues, I’ll be there. I can be happy in the knowledge that you will be happy with or without me
Yet I can not be free until I have spoken of the feelings that leave me unreal and broken.
Here is my heart, take it, you don’t have to give me yours.

Through knowing you I have been shown that there is beauty beyond the curtains sewn.
You have given me a new faith in man, something that I would never have known to ring
True again. I hold you in the highest of esteem, I deem you an embodiment of the goddess and though I know I may appear a mess, and though I know you would never wish me undressed I still need to let you know so that you can go and flow and show the world the love I perceive gleaming through the windows to your soul.

Perhaps now was not the time for us but I can’t help feeling that I’m at times in need of healing for I feel love sick beyond repair, I don’t know whether or not it was best to share
These cares of mine but I feel by rights that you should know, and though I have told you
Once before, I live in the shadow of the thought of you walking out the doorway.
I feel at times that if only I had the words to say I could let you know for sure
That you are the cure I seek. I would not ever wish to weaken the hope for happiness you
Carry so merrily in your stride. At times I envy you, still I know it’s wrong, but the green
Eyed monster rears his ugly head and at times I feel half dead, though I may be singing
The happiest of songs.

I feel perhaps as though I am too selfish in burdening your day
With all the thoughts within my head, with every word I say
Yet know that I shall be praying for you, towards unity, towards clarity
I shall pray for you and will always welcome you with open arms
If you are willing to receive me. Be free of commitment, be happy
Be all you know you can be and I will never resent you, I may simply
Resent myself at times for allowing to be swallowed by the blues.
For outside there is a world a splendor, blooming as it swoons
Inside at times I stay too long upon the dark side of the moon.

Sorry about that but you know it’s been getting to me for a while
So much that at times I find it hard to smile, but then I realize that
I should embrace the blue skies of your company for we each are upon
Our paths and I am purely grateful and full of appreciation for
Meeting someone as such as yourself, and in us both taking the time to relax
Beside one another.

I feel like I’m repeating myself
At times I feel like I’m walking in setting concrete
Yet fear shall not defeat me
For I have a wish alike you to be free
To be happy
And to be all I could be

And one day we may be whole as one together
One day we may simply be birds of a feather
But know that whatever the weather
I’ll be there to offer you shade, or shelter from the storm.

I would speak of love more freely if I did not feel as though I may
Scare you in doing so, but something through you flows a radiance,
A beauty of golden grace, and my heart doth weep in knowing that
I keep constantly turning down the opportunity to be with you.

What a fool I am at times, maybe I should listen more to this heart of mine
Even though its voice may scare me, I know that to be free I must as a child
Make merry the skies of misery, fly don’t sigh for me, fulfill your destiny.

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When in history, stories and poems I read (Sonnet Corona)

(after William Shakespeare)

I

When in history, stories and poems I read
about the greatest, the most fair persons
with the remarkable lives they did lead,
of knights guarding ladies for some reasons

then in you my lovely darling princess,
I see in everything, even your brow
more beauty than pens of old did express
and in the lovely looks that are yours now

is such exceeding glorious, awesome grace,
that all declarations prefigure you
up to this very moment in time and space,
are just substitutes trying to hold true,

to you the world is waiting as if ready,
arise - walk into my arms, my lady.


II

Arise - walk into my arms, my lady,
rise up my beloved true companion
the hot bright summer sun is already
falling with a love filled emotion

on the pure white leaves of the lilies,
the finches are already twittering
the wind is passing quick like young fillies
and outside the entire world is stirring.

Rise up my sweetest white lovely rose
and awake to the blessed bright morning,
arise from you tranquil kind of repose
and experience the greatness of spring,

of everything that’s good, great and living,
hear the joyous songs, the alluring feeling.


III

Hear the joyous songs, the alluring feeling,
from what is held as a true loveliness,
others have just some features been stealing;
your looks, grace, personality do not digress.

Not doom or the evil works of destiny
can control each and every coming thing,
can totally control either you or me,
or the pure fountain from where all things spring.

Neither is my love for you controlled by
events, people or situations that impact on it
as I have many kinds of choices that lie
in my two hands, that changes bit by bit.

In all kinds of things I want to be true,
may my lines only express love to you.


IV

May my lines only express love to you,
tell no lies and not lack in sincerity
and whatever I now say and I do
become deeper and carry more integrity.

As constantly my love grows intense
and with time it becomes much clearer
that at no one else’s pain or expense,
that you are now becoming much dearer

than that what you used to be to me
and although I thought that no other love
could ever be more sincere and free
more intense, or could still more improve,

our love is better than only moments ago
while it still have hours, days and years to grow.

V

While it still have hours, days and years to grow
to our love, may these words be our monument,
may it in sincerity forever glow
may it stay, when everything else is spent.

These words are left by me as did others
but all of my sincere feelings for you
must not contain anything that bothers
as they are full of integrity and true

and we might only be like the moth and flame
attracted to light and differences
but the feelings still do remain the same,
which I do profane as does the consequences

and still I am just trying to stay true,
even in rout I keep honouring you.


VI

Even in rout I keep honouring you,
I who have nothing, but sincerity,
I must be able to find something true,
in the extreme darkness that surrounds me.

When I see the lights of heaven glancing
through your lovely clear sun filled eyes,
when you are smiling so all-embracing
I am not bothered by any cloudy skies.

When I was but still extremely young,
I walked through the veldt many a mile,
the loveliest sight did to the sky belong
while I was lost in its hot sunshine smile,

I was seeing the world through childlike eyes,
when I was sincere, stripped from lies.

VII

When I was sincere, stripped from lies;
I was wondering what to find in darkness
that is just as clear as the bright blue skies,
that is honourable, free from wickedness?

When most of my days are quickly rushing past
will you then as now, still truly love me,
in old age, when any day can be my last?
Will you still be happy, laugh joyously,

be here to keep me with sweet company
when I am broken by destiny in contrast
to the young man that I used to be,
when all of the good things in life do pass?

Will I then still feel your body’s true heat,
when in history, stories and poems I read?

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Judgement Of Heaven

A lonely cry for help reaching out for help to anyone
A silent prayer to God to help you on your way
Ive been depressed so long
Its hard to remember when I was happy
Ive felt like suicide a dozen times or more
But thats the easy way, thats the selfish way
The hardest part is to get on with your life
Youre searching in the dark
Clutching at straws to find a way
You take the tarot cards and throw them to the wind
Your questions your beliefs,
Your inner thoughts, your whole existence
And if there is a God then answer if you will
And tell me of my fate, tell me of my place
Tell me if Ill ever rest in peace
If you could live your life again
Would you change a thing or leave all the same
If you had the chance again
Would you change a thing at all
When you look back at your past
Can you say that you are proud of what weve done
Are there times when you believe
That the right you thought was wrong
All of my life I have believed
Judgement of heaven is waiting for me

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Please take another vow dear

i have given all your need, i have shared what i have in my life
i prostate myself and swear to God and men to love you tell
beyond death, it is a promise. a covenant. a vow that leads
my life to complete my direction of destiny

giving is just a thing to forget, sharing is but a thing to be taken
loving is something that unite our hearts, it is ochastrated in
our soul, beyond a sounding joy of enchantment in heaven

a threshold to remember, and never be to be closed, a memory of
thy soul that life we taste is abode of expactacular miracle beauty,
a lingering happiness, where an endless joy stay

rejoice my dear, all makes the best for everything, a mirror of what
is life should be, a beginning that always wait for a happy ending,
where all has to continue life in an transcendental process of living
our own life

happiness conquer death, its the beginning of an endless birth of
a new life, and pain is eminent to accept, for seeing with
nothing to feel, my soul leaves but the heart i give lives in your
heart

in your solitude, as you stay, please take another vow, for only you
felt the vacuum cause by my pain, let your heart be strong, and live
life to where you belong

as i go, remember that my heart is only for you, and make the best
to live life, for you and the vow you say ' I do', i may be gone but i
live in your memory that their is only someone that.....loves.......
you most

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A special child is a special One

thank you for giving me the light in this world...... when
you shared to me the life, that the Lord bestowed and
blessed, you deserve that gift, to have a special one

thank you for the fruit of love..... your lives fulfill the
purpose of creation, your unending steadfast care lifts
me up to survive, amidst the uncertainty of life

thank you for being there..... when I needed you most,
you are always in my side, pushing me to face all
adversity, though I exist with no fear in my heart

thank you that you let me taste and experience..... what
is life with you, our memories always linger in my heart,
even though that meaningful happiness is off valued and
something special to me

thank you dear someone..... your presence is giving
me the strength to stay alive, this is the life I live, my world
is different from you, and I have to stay in order to live and
survive

thank you for accepting and letting me go..... beyond your
limit for you don't know where I will go, this dream that I
take is only, me can reach, a place where nobody knows

thank you for helping and making me to achieve, with my
own volition to know more of myself..... hoping the best of
everything on me, and believing that I might see the
meaning of my existence for the destiny I made is the
destiny I live.....this maybe the end of why, I am living in
this world with you dear someone

thank you that in my journey in this life..... you are with me
surfing every pieces of puzzle of who am I in this creation,
a creation that everyone is free, a creation that I am a part
and I exist, a destiny to move on and a place I live today

thank you..... for believing me even in your heart, thou you
didn't see what........ I believed, just always remember that
the life I share in every moment I've take. lives with you
forever and it is beyond your own imagination for the
world I live..... lives.....only in every man's heart that is free


' do not see them as how they think and look, but see
them as what you feel '

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Death Ended Everything

At a time off my feet you did me sweep
while your lovely smile touched my heart
as if on your pretty face a strange kind of art
had touched me, had entered me very deep.

There were times that we did laugh and weep,
were longing for a endless summer, never to part
where anything quite simple could our joy start,
we walked in the forest, climbed a mount steep

while there were stars glittering in your eyes
as if our lives were an unreal kind of fantasy,
as if our kind of bliss exceeded sheer ecstasy
where every day came as a kind of surprise.

There is more to life and living than chance,
death ended everything, ended our romance.

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A vision to cloth the Sky

the swing of the flocking birds, signal the
morning is coming, the wind surfing over the head
trees and the laughing joy of ducks, whistle the
unending beginning of a morning sky of happiness

rushing the stupid of a dream to a raining
clouds, has stop waiting the lightning to spark for
light to explode the vision of a great day to come in
the rainbow of victory, aim to bring the night to a new
day to come

like a laudable joke comes no audience to
laugh but a regret to jump and cry for something for
another play life has nothing but for a chance to play
again the melody of a sweet return; the show is not over,
it’s still on the stage, just play your role and welcome to
the great show

let the milk lips in our mind the head stand firm
and wait the unending servant hood never fades, goes
where it may go and live according to the heart that call
to a place dream off, as destiny live in your soul

triumphantly share the perfume of your heart
and lay every soul ponder, the joy of your presence, all
will come in many victorious aroma, your dream has
conquer our lasting memory of your desire; the goodness
lives in your life rekindle in every moment we remember
your return my dear Lady President

splendid Sarah Pelin, be a part of our joy…..we will wait
of your return……….a splendid victory rejoice!

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Your Wild Flower Of Mountain

Once upon a time was a wild flower,
Living in the mountains nearest sky and stars,
Other side of world was a young man living,
Seeking for the happiness of his life.

He was searching a wild flower,
A masterpiece of nature that fearless grew up,
A unique flower that lives lonely,
In a cold fresh breeze of mountain wind.

Seeking and seeking, finally you found her,
After a hard climbing on the rocks,
She was up on the peak of mountain,
In a wild rocky place.

You were astonished by her beauty,
You couldn't stop to stare at her,
She showed to you like an actress,
After curtains get opened on the stage.

She looked so strong to you, so pretty,
But also so charming and so delicate,
She knew you'll come and care for her,
All her life she was waiting for you.

Was enough only her petals to touch,
And she blossomed like a glowing smile,
Your face became so thrill and happy,
She was everything you ever wanted.

But hurry up, time is running,
Unfortunatelly never stops,
You have such precious moments with your wild flower to spend,
You waited for her so long and life never waits.

You took your gracious wild flower,
And nurtured her with love and faith,
Even you knew will last only a moment,
You gave her moments that she'll never forget.

But day to say good bye has come,
Sitting in your arms she closed her eyes and passed away,
Your face was last thing she wanted to see,
Before she got the last breath passing to eternity.

Don't waste your time, be with your loved one,
She is so special and so worthy in this shortless life,
Give to your wild flower of mountain your great love,
Don't wait for destiny from you to steal it.

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Open Your Heart

Don't let the sun go down on me
Open your heart
Just let me be your destiny
Open your heart
What I never felt before
I really need you more and more
Don't let the sun go down on me
Open your heart
Open your heart
Open your heart
Open your heart
Open your heart
Open your heart
Even when you're far away
You're on my mind, every night and day
Don't let me live without a goal
Deep inside you are my soul
I've been fooled by love so many times
I've been blind, I've seen no signs
You're the one for me, we'll never part
Stay with me and open your heart
I can't express what's goin' on
I feel so lonely when you're gone
Is it real or is it fake
Am I dreaming, am I awake
You're the one I have been waiting for
I can't hold it back no more
You're the one for me, we'll never part
Stay with me and open your heart
I need you, don't let the sun, go down on me
Count on me, let me be your destiny,
See you got the key, to my Heart
We'll never part, from the start till the end of time,
You' re always mine, take a glass of wine
And let the sun shine, find out,
What is right or wrong,
What's going on, I feel lonely when you're gone
You're style is Magic - you hypnotise me
You came into my life, set me free
Light and energy, all around the galaxy
You made it brighter so that I could see
Like a melody in ecstasy,
See our love will last, eternally
Seems that your life is the golden key
Don't let the sun go down on me

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The Dead To The Living

Work while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.

IN the childhood of April, while purple woods
With the young year's blood in them smiled,
I passed through the lanes and the wakened fields,
And stood by the grave of the child.
And the pain awoke that is never dead
Though it sometimes sleeps, and again
It set its teeth in this heart of mine,
And fastened its claws in my brain:
For it seemed so hard that the little hands
And the little well-loved head
Should be out of reach of my living lips,
And be side by side with the dead--
Not side by side with us who had loved,
But with these who had never seen
The grace of the smile, the gold of the hair,
And the eyes of my baby-queen.
Yet with trees about where the brown birds build,
And with long green grass above,


She lies in the cold sweet breast of earth
Beyond the reach of our love;
Whatever befalls in the coarse loud world,
We know she will never wake.
When I thought of the sorrow she might have known,
I was almost glad for her sake. . . .
Tears might have tired those kiss-closed eyes,
Grief hardened the mouth I kissed;
I was almost glad that my dear was dead
Because of the pain she had missed.
Oh, if I could but have died a child
With a white child-soul like hers,
As pure as the wind-flowers down in the copse,
Where the soul of the spring's self stirs;
Or if I had only done with it all,
And might lie by her side unmoved!
I envied the very clods of earth
Their place near the child I loved!


And my soul rose up in revolt at life,
As I stood dry-eyed by her grave,
When sudden the grass of the churchyard sod
Rolled back like a green smooth wave;
The brown earth looked like the brown sea rocks,
The tombstones were white like spray,
And white like surf were the curling folds
Of the shrouds where the dead men lay;
For each in his place with his quiet face
I saw the dead lie low,
Who had worked and suffered and found life sad,
So many sad years ago.
Unchanged by time I saw them lie
As when first they were laid to rest,
The tired eyes closed, the sad lips still,
And the work-worn hands on the breast.
There were some who had found the green world so grey,
They had left it before their time,
And some were little ones like my dear,
And some had died in their prime;
And some were old, they had had their fill
Of bitter unfruitful hours,
And knew that none of them, none, had known
A flower of a hope like ours!


Through their shut eyelids the dead looked up,
And without a voice they said:
'We lived without hope, without hope we died,
And hopeless we lie here dead;
And death is better than life that draws
Pain in, as it draws in breath,
If life never dreams of a coming day
When life shall not envy death.
Through the dark of our hours and our times we lived,
Uncheered by a single ray
Of such hope as lightens the lives of you
Who are finding life hard to-day;
With our little lanterns of human love
We lighted our dark warm night--
But you in the chill of the dawn are set
With your face to the eastern light.
Freedom is waiting with hands held out
Till you tear the veil from her face--
And when once men have seen the light of her eyes,
And felt her divine embrace,
The light of the world will be risen indeed,
And will shine in the eyes of men,
And those who come after will find life fair,
And their lives worth living then!
Will you strive to the light in your loud rough world,
That these things may come to pass,
Or lie in the shadow beside the child,
And strive to the sun through the grass?'


'My world while I may,' I cried; 'but you
Whose lives were as dark as your grave?'
'We too are a part of the coming light,'
They called through the smooth green wave.
Their white shrouds gleamed as the flood of green
Rolled over and hid them from me--
Hid all but the little hands and the hair,
And the face that I always see.

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On a windy night (in answer to T.S. Eliot)

I. It’s Midnight

It’s Midnight
and the wind brushes softly though my hair,
there are long drawn out shadows everywhere
under the street lamps and the bright light

is stringed out in white
beacon after beacon leading for some to somewhere
but to me it feels as if they are going nowhere,
as if this dark night

is endless without form or shape
and one lonely shadow is following me
while branches are caught in a macabre dance
and there’s a chill at the nape
of my neck and darkness wherever I see
while I walk as if in a trance.


II. Half past one

Half past one
and the spluttering street lump did mutter
“so you had your fun, ”
and no single word did I utter

and at my back fear was crawling
as if in the past night
I had done a unpardonable sin and wind was the singing
“do not look back” and above me the stars was bright

but a strange feeling was in me
as if something evil was following,
as if from it I would never be free
and I glimpsed back, in my daring caught a glance

of something without shadow sneaking behind
and I believed that it as a trick of the mind.


III. It was half-past two

It was half-past two
and while walking through the park
I did not have a clue
where I was going and the night was very dark

and a black thinned out cat sneaked past
with green glowing eyes
as if the tranquillity could not last
and all of the past goodbyes

where coming to my mind
of loved animals, friends and you
as if I was blind and never again to find
the place in the world where I belonged to

and with a leap of delight
the cat found something to eat in that night.


IV. The darkness washed over me

The darkness washed over me
falling like a old worn out cloak
and there were known stars that I could see
but with feelings wanted to choke

and it was half-past three
with a strange familiar howl in the wind
and the cat was eying me
as if in me it had find

a close compatriot
who is also a dweller in the night,
but in life I felt like a idiot
watching the bright

lights of cars passing in the distance,
praying for some kind of deliverance.

V. At four I was chilly


At four I was chilly
and did not want to wait in the park anymore,
the cat was still with me
purring much more in love with me than before

and I carried it while stroking it
as if I had found a new friend
and bit by tiny bit
I liked it and it was no fiend

but a tiny living thing
with shiny bright eyes burning
right through me and the wind did sing
the leaves on branches were still churning

and for a time I had company,
and it was great to be alive with something that loved me.

VI. The memory was crowding me

The memory was crowding me,
as if there was no escape
that on a similar night I did see
a glance of beauty peering from beneath a cape

and then it was somewhat chilly
not like now a summer night
and a strange passion did fill me
to see her full face in the bright light

but into the night she did disappear
with white cheeks and the fire of a eye
as if she was not meant to be near
and now with the sun in a bright sky

with a bird calling on its mate
I see her standing at the garden gate.

[Reference: Rhapsody on a Windy Night by T. S. Eliot.]

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Grief Promise Me To Leave ' Part 2

“”After three months of lying and illusions””


GRIEF PROMISE ME TO LEAVE ' PART 2’

My heart: come back to me grief
My grief: I’m not grief any more I developed to MISERY
My heart: whatever just come?
My misery: I’m coming my friend
My heart: you were right
My misery: as I told you before but you won't believe me
My heart: I believe in you now
My misery with a 'happy tone': tell me what's happened
My heart: what should I tell you! ? I’m stupid.... I’m foolish
My misery: I agree cause every one think in his heart he is big idiot and you are idiot
My heart: she destroyed my soul
My misery: like always
My heart: I don't want that any more
My misery: what do you want?
My heart: I wanna death
My misery: not in your hand, it's our life happiness & sadness
My heart: but my life always painful, what should I do, may I blame the fate or what?
My misery: no, blame your self? You were so nice toy in other hands you are idiot, so blame yourself.
My heart: she lied to me, she gave me hope, life and happiness in months and toke it from me in a little moments.
My misery: that's because of your kindness, and there is no place for you in this world.
My heart: you are the only one who can understand me well.
My misery: I know that cause we borne together.


'My misery thinking'

My misery: you shouldn't keep moving in your life
My heart: I know! ?
My heart: I just wanna the honest from her not anything else
My misery: you won't get it
My heart: she thought me a little nice toy in her hands
My misery: with all my regret, you were and you will still always


‘My heart thinking about ending his misery’

‘My heart saw a knife near from him, he carry it to suicide and end his cruel life’
My misery ' with happy voice ': what you doing?
My heart: I can't be idiot anymore, cause I believed in something silly doesn’t existed ' love '.
My misery: you are right.
My heart: I’m sorry for keeping you away from me.
My misery: its ok, as I told you before, something from me will still inside you.
My heart: you are my faithful friend.
My misery: we had borne together.


‘My heart I s going to suicide now’

My misery: any last words?
my heart: before I leave this life forever I want you promise me that you will never go to live in her heart ever, cause she make me live in the most beautiful illusion I’ve seen.
My misery: do you know that you are stupid?
My heart: I know cause she kept telling me this word.
My misery: ok I promise you but you have to end your life now
My heart: ok i will


‘When my heart tried to stick the knife in his heart’
‘The 'happiness whisper' came to him in hurry again but she barely breathing’

Happiness whisper: what you doing? Are you crazy?
My heart: yes I’m crazy cause I loved someone in crazy way but, she failed me, and the misery controlling me forever.
My misery: let him rest of his cruel life.


‘Happiness whisper trying to convince misery to make him not killing him self’

My heart: it's too late, that's my choice.


‘Happiness whisper started to vanish’
Happiness whisper: you don't deserve that, you are good heart
My heart: forgive me I’m not belonged to this world


‘The happiness whisper start crying and after a while she vanished’
‘My misery was standing and waiting’

My heart: goodbye and don't forget what you promised me don't forget


my heart stick the knife in the center and he begin bleeding to death, his tears freeze on his eyeball, he begin trembling, his color turned from the puce to the dark blue, and then he is died.


The misery: it was his end but, it was the beginning for other broken hearts so be careful cause I’m coming.........

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