It Has Always Been You - Pt1

Part 1
Even as a little child I do now recall
You often would respond to my call.
And whenever I was filled with sorrow
about certain things feared of tomorrow
You would comfort me in some natural way
assuring me there wouldn't be such a day
and then my heart would experience much joy
almost just like acquiring a long expected toy.

Together we would have laughter and fun
like a couple of children playing in the sun.
Though You did reproach me when I was bad
then lovingly forgive me when I'd be so sad.
You would always try and point out to me
the good things around there were to see.

You always were the one I called on when in need
beseeching You as no one else believed me indeed.
You were more or less my constant companion and friend
and together would see things through untill the very end.
Now and then I would go my separate way and depart
but sooner or later I would remember You in my heart.
It seemed somehow, You had a permanent place in there
as if it would be impossible to leave it empty and bare.
-------------------
Note: I have divided this poem into several parts as it is too long for the average reader and at the same time to arouse a little curiosity. Needless to say it is also autobiographical. Enjoy!

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Maybe Tomorrow

Maybe tomorrow and I will see, if I have time to ponder on Eternity.
For I have no time to contemplate, that is something that can wait.
I have many things to do today, and I have no time along the way.
Eternity is not important my friend, it’s a long time before the end.

It may be short or it may be long, be prepared you won’t go wrong.
For everyone will go in time, your departure is different than mine.
Some counting on tomorrow, will leave this earth in much sorrow.
While those prepared to depart, will leave earth with a joyful heart.

There are men who can’t conceive, in the afterlife that we believe.
They just can not comprehend, that things continue after they end,
After they end, here on the earth; temporal home of a natural birth.
For after your body ceases to be, the soul continues on for eternity.

In your own heart you can prepare, to meet The Lord up in the air.
There are men who’ll have no part, of letting Christ into their heart.
Even if you’re just not sure, you my friend, will still meet The Lord.
For it is destined for all my friend, to face His Judgment in the end.

As you live your earthly life, what are you doing about Jesus Christ?
When all here is said and done, are you ready to meet God’s Son?
That is when the world shall see, that ahead for all men is Eternity.
But for you to have Eternal Life, today you must accept Jesus Christ.

(Copyright ©10/2005)

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Walking Out

(4/21/12)

The tears helped to wash away the pain
Since you left - I've never been the same
You always said you'd love me and that
We would never part - then you went and broke my heart.

You said you found someone new and didn't know what to do
Because your feelings were divided in two.
Why do I punish myself the way I do
When I'm not the one who walked out on you.

Why do I dream of things that can never be
Why do I dream of things that was not made for me
I have dreamt my entire life away
Because I procrastinated every day.

Leaving everything for tomorrow, and tomorrow never came
And from there my life did forever change.

You are my life, you are my soul
You are the one I long to hold
You came into my life when I was in need
You filled every feeling, every dream.

There will be no more hesitating
For I've grown tired of waiting
You said your heart was divided in two
And didn't know what to do
So I will make the decision for you.

Good bye foolish heart, you had your chance
And blew it apart.
Now it is I who will say good bye
And maybe you'll regret it till the day you die.

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I Remember

Writer Dolly Parton
Copyright 1973
I remember I remember I remember mama and daddy most of all
I remember meadows and fields of golden wheat
I remember songbirds and sugar cane so sweet
I remember lots of things that often I recall
But I remember mama and daddy most of all
I remember gingerbread my mama used to bake
And I remember home made toys that daddy used to make
Yes I remember many things that often I recall
But I remember mama and daddy most of all
I remember mama and daddy most of all
And our little country home they filled with love
I remember mama and daddy most of all
And all the things they did to make life happier for us
Yes I remember lots of things that often I recall
But I remember mama and daddy most of all
I remember candy that daddy used to bring I remember songs my mama used to sing
Oh I remember many things that often I recall
But I remember mama and daddy most of all
I remember mama and daddy most of all
And how they taught us children right from wrong
I remember mama and daddy most of all
How they used to hope and pray they'd live to see us grown
Oh I remember many things that often I recall
But I remember mama and daddy most of all
I remember I remember I remember mama and daddy most of all most of all

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Parting Is Such Empty Sorrow

Parting is such an empty sorrow
Yet there is always a sweet tomorrow
There is such a pain within my heart
When that time comes that we must part

And the minutes and hours that slipped away
Were taken for granted day by day
Until the time comes when you have to leave
And I'm left standing with my heart on my sleeve

Can there really be a sweet tomorrow?
My heart wonders as it fills with sorrow
I just never know if I will see you again
Which is why my heart feels such pain

There is an agony in long good-byes
And tears fall from swollen eyes
And in my heart you're never far away
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or so they say

But time and distance fogs the mind
And the best that memories do is to rewind
And think again of times gone past
And time with you that went too fast

All that counts is the here and now
And time is not defied, all must bow
To the incoming tide and perpetual waves
That inevitably leads us to our graves

So live in the now, each minute each day
Pray to the Lord to show you the way
Of a heart wide open and ready to give
Of a heart full of love always ready to forgive

Soar with the eagles, run with the bulls
Adorn your heart with incredible jewels
Of love and joy and peace of mind
Let men look to you, these things to find

Then time will simply be a means to an end
Space for all manner of fences to mend
And when we pass over and time is no more
We shall stand and gaze from eternities shore

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I'll Remember You

It's funny how time slips away
On those long summer nights,
I had sat down at my balcony,
I had gazed at the stars,
I had cried all night,
I had cried tears` of 'Good -bye': But
I had to keep on going without your love
Living my life the way I choose to
Discovering the things that are left for me to do
Doing the things that I love
Let there be light
Don't give excuses
Don't wait for answers
Don't wait for tomorrow
Don't ask me why
No need to be angry anymore
No need to wait anymore
For this special day, special hour,
No need to fight, just follow him, because
The Lord has come to set you free
The Lord has come to take you home
A place with no more pain and sorrows
Where you will find comfort and peace
Maybe someday, you will meet me again
A time has come to say” Good-bye'
I'll remember you in my dreams
I'll remember you in my sleep
I'll remember you each day and every hour of the day
I'll remember you for all the good things you have done for me
I'll remember you for the special time we spent together.
I'll remember you in my prayers
I'll remember you for the kind of person you were
I'll remember you every night
I'll remember you for your special smiles and laughter
I'll remember you

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In The Dark

Make me fumble
Make me fall
Make my heart stop and start
To tremble uncontrollably
Let my eyes see fear make desire
Keep those who long apart
Forbid the kiss
And leave us innocent
Of the things some do in the dark
The things some do in the dark
The things some do in the dark
Make me remember
Make me forget
Make my mind unable
To force the body to do its will
Let it be right for belief and denial
To share a space in the heart and leave us only to imagine
About the things some do in the dark
The things some do in the dark
The things some do in the dark
Make me pretend
Make me expect
Things can go and come to pass
Without trial or tribulation
Let this life space and time
Leave my body with permanent marks
Faded scars and lines
But not a single impression
Of the things some do in the dark
The things some do in the dark
The things some do in the dark
Let me be tempted
Let me be torn
But make my thoughts pure and not
Morally corrupt in form
Let us sleep tonight
Let innocence lie in our dreams and secret hearts
With burning desire
A need to know and do
The things some do in the dark
The things some do in the dark
The things some do in the dark

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Self Doubt

Sometimes our minds are filled with self-doubt
at things we do in our lives,
yet to others they have a different point of view.
They see the things you do in another perspective.
When I was in self-doubt over my parenting skills,
not sure, if I made all the right decisions
a late friend said to me.
Look you have taken on two children which were not your own, raised them well.
There are many who wouldn’t even attempt
to do what you have done.
Do not ever say you are not a good father.
I am sure your children would have something different to say
if they compared their lives to what they used to have.
You may not be perfect no one ever is,
but you have done the best you could
and that is good enough for everyone.
Although I listened, the self-doubt persists.
Maybe they will never go away who can really tell.

1-2 December 2008


After word:
This poem is based on a conversation I had many years ago with a late friend over my own self doubts.

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Inventory

Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

Four be the things I’d been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.

Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

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Two Divided By Zero

(two divided by zero, zero)
(two divided by zero, zero, zero)
Lets not go home, well catch the late train
Ive got enough money to pay all the way
When the postman calls, hell deliver the letter
Ive explained everything; its better that way
(divided by, divided by) I think they heard a rumour
(divided by, divided by) or someone tipped them off
(divided by, divided by) its better to go sooner
(divided by, divided by) than call it all off
Well catch a plane to new york, and a cab going down
Cross the bridges and tunnels, straight into town
Tomorrow morning well be miles away
On another continent and another day
(divided by, divided by) lets not go home
(divided by, divided by) or call it a day
(divided by, divided by) you wont be alone
(divided by, divided by) lets run away
(two divided by zero, zero)
(two divided by zero, zero, zero)
(d...d...d...d...d...divided by)
(divided by, divided by)
(z...z...z...z...z...zero, zero)
(divided by)
(turn of that noise...)
(divided by, divided by) someone spread a rumour
(divided by, divided by zero, zero)
(divided by, divided by) better to go sooner
(divided by, divided by) lets run away
So why hang around for the deed to be done
You can give it all up for a place in the sun
When the postman calls well be miles away
On a plane to new york and another day
(divided by, divided by) I think they heard a rumour
(divided by, divided by) or someone tipped them off
(divided by, divided by) better to go sooner
(divided by, divided by) than call it all off
(divided by, divided by) someone spread a rumour
(divided by, divided by) and someone has to pay
(divided by, divided by) lets not go home
(divided by, divided by) lets run away
(divided by, divided by) lets not go home
(divided by, divided by) lets run away

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Mistaken Identity

There are many times I have been mistaken
for something I am not.
People mistake me as an ordained priest,
but in fact, I am not.
You could call me an actor
who just happens to live the part.
Admittingly I do most things
a real priest would in their lives do,
give comfort to the sick and dying
and other things do.
However please do not be mistaken
that is not acting, its just part of my personality,
something I have always done
even before I got the part.
Those who needed my words of comfort
always seemed to find me,
and I would never turn them away.
Don’t ask me why I am this way;
there is no answer I can give you.
I hate to see suffering
whether it be in friend or foe.
I made a promise to myself
a long, long time ago
that if I could make someone smile
each and every day,
then I would be smiling too.
There have been a very few times occasions
when that promise has been broken,
because sometimes I could not do it.
They were mainly when
great sadness caught up with me,
but most of the time you will find me
with a smile on my face
and mischievous twinkle in my eye.
That is because at heart
I am something of a clown
and a practical joker.
One thing I am not
and something I will never be
is what many people call me,
and that is an angel
as there are too many faults
that lie behind me.

14 August 2008

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Long May You Run

Weve been through some things together
With trunks of memories still to come
We found things to do in stormy weather
Long may you run.
Long may you run.
Long may you run.
Although these changes have come
With your chrome heart shining in the sun
Long may you run.
Well, it was back in blind river in 1962
When I last saw you alive
But we missed that shift on the long decline
Long may you run.
Long may you run.
Long may you run.
Although these changes have come
With your chrome heart shining in the sun
Long may you run.
Maybe the beach boys have got you now
With those waves singing caroline no
Rollin down that empty ocean road
Gettin to the surf on time.
Long may you run.
Long may you run.
Although these changes have come
With your chrome heart shining in the sun
Long may you run.

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Long May You Run

(neil young)
Weve been through some things together
With trunks of memories still to come
We found things to do in stormy weather
Long may you run
Long may you run
Long may you run
Although these changes have come
With your chrome heart shining in the sun
Long may you run
Well it was back in blind river in 1962
When I last saw you alive
Rollin down that empty ocean road
Gettin to the surf on time
Long may you run
Long may you run
Although these changes have come
With your chrome heart shining in the sun
Long may you run
Long may you run.
Long may you run.
Although these changes have come
With your chrome heart shining in the sun
Long may you run

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An end for creatures

I shall long to live forever
Though no time is left however
We are not immortal and have to depart
Life is lived in equal parts

It is not for us to think differently
There is natural law in force currently
It may knock you in time very gently
You may depart very silently

Think of uncertain things in cycle
One has to under go and perform in circle
We are confined to limited space
Lot many things we have to face

Peaceful end only when you are at ease
All unnecessary activities must cease
Eyes set on final departure
There lay an end for beautiful creture

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No One's Hero...anymore

ride north form your last known position leave no trace of where u were for how long and why u were there n do things only for yourself long and ever u did good things u went out of your way u went as high to the heavens and got diamonds and brought them as gifts for others and took nuthin in return then u go deep into the very darkest ocean in a world far and away and retreive a trifrudents heart a beautiful piece of blue bright diamonds that sparkles and shines like a blue giant and it lights up the whole ocean as u got u bring the bright blue diamond to the ones that cherish u for what u do they not thank u you dont care much for thanks ur just happy to be able to do things and not profit no rewards or nuthing like that u look up and see the night time sky the distant stars that sparkle like distant diamonds far and away u look over at a couple kissing and holding each other and u know what they hav is worth more then just diamonds and gold combined fo whats in there hearts in ur heart u have a feeling close to jealousy but u just let that feeling go and know that ull not ever hav it u stop doin good things and start keepin to urself u remain in darkness for no one to see u leave a note telling everyone it was cool that u helped everyone out but u just wanna rest for awhile so then u escape u goto the stars and head for the darkest place in the heavens and never look back knowin u aint gonna b anyones hero.

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The Eternal Witness

There's an Eternal Witness always watching the things we all do,
though there may not be anyone else around He is through you.
We are all part and parcel of an infinite Supreme Being
knowing everything through our mind and eyes seeing.

He is our most intimate and lovingly trusting friend
with us always from the beginning till the very end.
It's only after much pain and suffering we have undergone here
that we either turn to Him for comfort or curse Him with a smear.

Yet He remains unaffected, as a rule, by either praise or blame
but can bestow grace upon us when we lovingly call His Name.
We are always His Divine Children and should realise this as a fact,
and down throughout the ages He has always been calling us back.

When we listen closely to the quiet, calm inner voice of silence;
our own highest conscience, we can receive the right guidance.
And if we follow and act on the words of a Perfect Master
we will in time find Him with ease and also very much faster.

And when we each finally attain to Him perhaps sooner or later
then we'll all realise that we have always been so much greater
than what we had ever thought of or imagined could become,
being just beyond our minds ability to grasp, except for some.

There is nothing but Him in everything and everywhere
what we say and do cannot be without Him being there.
That unseen and yet indivisible Being is the one true Reality
a silent witness which is hidden in all things and an actuality.

We are really This One as the lover, love and Only Beloved
as the bliss arising from That sustains and keeps us covered
from all the so called worldly troubles that can be ever without end
if we know them to be an illusion maintained by our Eternal Friend.


               

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So They Say

(malik pendelton)
When I think about all the love and fun that we used to have
Theres no doubt that I do miss your touch
And all the good times and the bad
But i, I realize that we were not meant to be
So Ill set you free cause what they say doesnt apply to you and me
Some good things did come to an end
If youre ever down and out of need
I will be right here always, you have a friend in me
So call on me, even though were apart
Even though were apart
Youll always have a special place in my heart
Youll always have a special place in my heart
So they say
If its right, itll come back your way
I cannot lie, not this time
Youve got yours and Ill get mine
People used to say one day you were gonna away
And break my heart in two
But its all in the game of love
Sometimes you win or lose
Do what you gotta do
Cant say I regret that things that I got and didnt get
I knew all alone
Inside I saw all the signs yet and still i
Went along for the ride
Some good things do come to an end
If youre ever down and out of need
I will be right here, always you have a friend in me
So call on me, even though were apart
Even though were apart
Youll always have a special place in my heart
Youll always have a special place in my heart
So they say
If its right, itll come back your way
I cannot lie, not this time
Youve got yours and Ill get mine
So they say
If its right, itll come back your way
I cannot lie, not this time
Youve got yours and Ill get mine
They say, so they say, so they say
If its right, itll come back your way
I cannot lie, not this time
Youve got yours and Ill get mine

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History Will Teach Us Nothing

If we seek solace in the prisons of the distant past
Security in human systems were told will always always last
Emotions are the sail and blind faith is the mast
Without a breath of real freedom were getting nowhere fast
If God is dead and an actor plays his part
His words of fear will find their way to a place in your heart
Without the voice of reason every faith is its own curse
Without freedom from the past things can only get worse
Sooner or later just like the world first day
Sooner or later we learn to throw the past away
Sooner or later just like the world first day
Sooner or later we learn to throw the past away
Sooner or later we learn to throw the past away
History will teach us nothing
History will teach us nothing
Our written history is a catalogue of crime
The sordid and the powerful, the architects of time
The mother of invention, the oppression of the mild
The constant fear of scarcity, aggression as its child
Sooner or later
Sooner or later
Sooner or later
Sooner or later
Convince an enemy, convince him that hes wrong
Is to win a bloodless battle where victory is long
A simple act of faith
In reason over might
To blow up his children will only prove him right
History will teach us nothing
Sooner or later the world first day
Sooner or later we learn to throw the past away
Sooner or later the world first day
Sooner or later we learn to throw the past away
Sooner or later we learn to throw the past away
History will teach us nothing
History will teach us nothing
Know you human rights
Be what you come here for
Know your human rights
Be what you come here for
Know your human rights
Be what you come here for
Know your human rights
Be what you come here for

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A Friend And A Best Friend

Sorry for the stupid things that I have said
A best friend will always know the right things to say to you
Sorry for not listening more instead
A best friend will always listen to you

Sorry for the hurt I may have caused to your heart
A best friend will always get rid of your pain for you
Sorry for the times I had to depart
A best friend will always finish what they have started with you

Sorry for not always being tough
A best friend will always be strong for you
Sorry for not apologizing enough
A best friend will always accept an apology from you

Sorry for the times that you were ignored
A best friend will always have time for you
Sorry for not saying thank you more
A best friend will always find time to thank you for being you

Sorry for not being a better friend
A best friend will always be there for you
Sorry for all the loose ends
A best friend will always find time to fulfill these things for you

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Little Cowboys Cry

(monte thomas)
Theres a little boy on his knees beside his bed
With a cowboy hat upon his bowed head
Tryin to keep the tears in his eyes
And his heart breaks as the little cowboy cries
As the cowboy cries
He says God forgive me please
I didnt want my daddy to leave
And I promise to be good this time
But his heart breaks as the little cowboy cries
Theres another heart in pain outside his door
His momma heard him cry as she walked the floor
Her love for his daddy has died
And her heart breaks as her little cowboy cries
As her cowboy cries
She says God forgive me please
I know I made him leave
But the pain will go away in time
But her heart breaks as her little cowboy cries
In a smoky little bar way downtown
His daddy is drinkin whiskey down
Tryin to kill the pain he feels inside
And his heart breaks as his little cowboy cries
And his cowboy cries
He says God forgive me please
I know I had to leave
Things havent been good for a long, long time
And his heart breaks as his little cowboy cries
As his cowboy cries
As his cowboy cries
As his cowboy cries
As his cowboy cries
As the cowboy cries
As the cowboy cries
As the cowboy cries
As the cowboy cries

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If This Was Not For You

If this was not for you,
I wouldn't take the time.
I'm sure I can find other things to do.
If this was not for you.

If this was not for you,
I don't think I'd be sitting with this patience.
Wanting to achieve what I believe,
You would approve.
If this was not for you,
I would not bother...
To listen to my heart like this.

It has been too long I've wanted someone like you.
Someone with finesse and attitude.
Direct and yet aggressive.
Optimistically objective...
Without getting upset.
With the very best of me...
There for you 'if' you do!

If this was not for you,
I wouldn't take the time.
And you wouldn't know this,
Is something from my heart!
Something that is mine to give...
And deliver to you as is!

I'm sure I can find other things to do.
If this was not for you....
The moment this was started.
You have to know that's true.
My feelings for you would have long departed.
From a passing fantasy into the emptiness,
Of forgotten thoughts.

If this was not for you,
You would not make time...
Stand still in my mind!
Nor will I seek to find it

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