To Control and Hold Back the Tears

Not many Americans really know what goes on,
And why when we get home so many of us veterans have in common,
Even though a lot of our memories are not the same,
We still have the same feelings as we lost our buddies and still can remember them name by name.
It all starts as we go out and go on patrol,
We pray to come back in one piece, which is our goal.
And yes, this is something that everyone prays for,
Because we see so much that hurts our hearts more and more.
To see our buddies get thrown and blown around,
Some are hurt and some just wounded, but others are heaven bound.
Coming back home is something that we all have to deal with and it is very hard,
Especially as we see our friends being buried in a National Cemetery grave yard.
To think that we will always remember these things as we get older and go through the years,
It's hard for us not to think about it and hold back the tears.
Some of us come with deep echoes and ringing sounds in our mind,
This causes us to lose control and to keep our way of thinking in a bind.
It is really hard for a lot of people to understand what it feels like to come back,
And to always feel like you are under attack.
Yes, this time of pain and is hard to control.
with help from the Lord and our family, we try to calm our soul.
As the time goes on and more and more of us are coming back and being diagnosed,
It finally helps us come out of our deep and wanting to be alone, and comatose.
Thank you to everyone that wants to try to understand what it feels like for us to go through and see what we see.
Because in our lives, it is finally here to show us that there is someone who cares for them and for me.

By Frank Pulver

SSgt/ USMCR

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Feeling Abandon and Lost Inside

The first thing that I should do is look in the mirror and say what is my name,
This is one reason why I feel so abandon and lost inside,
There is times that I cannot even remember who's my family or friends,
Yes, if you had this feeling lost inside then you would see what it feels like to be me,
As I think of this tears come rolling down my eyes,
Because I feel like my life is hidden away is a deep dark disguise.
Having these feelings or thoughts give me a roller coaster of emotions,
As it makes feel like a freak or a failure or like a creature feature.
Forgetting the memories of my life is hard, and it hurts,

I hope that if you are someone that reads this that you take in what I am trying to say,
Those memories are the ways in life that we will always remember when it is to laugh, cry or smile.
There probably will be a time in our life when those thoughts will be gone.
So please try to take in any and all the memories of your life,
Because as I said earlier it will hard to remember those precious moments,
It is hard, but for me to remember things I have to write my feelings and memories down into words.
For me to even remember life.

Thank you, Lord for giving me this chance to still live.

By Frank Pulver

July 10,2011

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Christmas High

I'm finding myself on a Christmas high
Lot's of loving family and I know that's why
People all around me, so full of cheer
Wanting to see me, is why they are here
Family all close in one house of love
And mother with me, from heaven above
Oh please don't let this great high leave
It will be back to my old self, where I will grieve
In that deep black hole I must not fall
Coming out will be such a slow crawl
I will fight hard to not let it in
I don't want to travel back to where I’ve been
Past is past, must keep it buried
For so many years, this pain I’ve carried
Going to make a New Years resolution this very year
Going to hold back old feelings, try to keep my mind clear!

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Hard Feelings

Written by billy burnette and jeff silbar.
Now Im supposed to understand
Dont you think youre asking too much
What kind of fool do you think I am
Dont you think youve hurt me enough
Still you want to be friends
But I dont want to be just friends
So before you start with your sympathy
Just turn around and go
And if he breaks your heart, dont come crying to me
I wont be there anymore
Go ahead and cry your tears
cause Im not gonna dry your tears
Ive got hard feelings
When it comes to you and me
And these hard feelings
Just wont let me be
These hard feelings run deep
These hard feelings run deep
Ill be alright, dont you worry about me
Ill take care of myself
The first thing I need is you out of my life
The last thing I need is your help
Sorry I met you
Sorry I met you
I will forget you, someday
Ive got hard feelings
When it comes to you and me
And these hard feelings
Just wont let me be
These hard feelings run deep
These hard feelings run deep
Ive got hard feelings
When it comes to you and me
And these hard feelings
Just wont let me be
These hard feelings run deep
These hard feelings
Hard feelings
When it comes to you and me
And these hard feelings
Just wont let me be
These hard feelings run deep
These hard feelings run deep
Hard feelings
Just wont let me be
Hard feelings
Hard feelings

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Coming Home

Ive not been home
For so many years
And I did not regret being gone
Please tell me when did we talk
And when did we show
That we do care for something called love
Oh no, dont you despair now
Im as grown up as can be
Cant you forget everything
And this time listen to me
Im coming home - home
Im coming home - why dont you help me
Im coming home - home
Im coming home - why dont you love me
Its time to remember
What weve done together
I guess it is more than we know
And we should be open
And turn back the wheels
As far as we can go
I know I am your son
And everything else dont seem real
I want you back like never before
I cant take another goodbye
Im coming home - home
Im coming home - please, cant you be there
Im coming home - home
Im coming home - please, dont you leave me
Whats dones done - Im your son
Ive been hurt by your lies
I want peace after all
Thats why I want you to let me come home
Im coming home - home
Im coming home - lets fight together
Im coming home - home
Im coming home - Ive so much to tell you
Home - Im coming home
Im coming home - time heals the scars of the past
Im coming home
Im coming home - to be by your side
Im coming home - Im coming home
Im coming home - Ive so much to tell you
Im coming home - Im coming home,............

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Precious Memories

Those precious memories hidden deep down in my soul
Waiting for those memories to come clear to me and possibly unfold
It is so hard for me to remember my loving father and mother over the years
It hurts me so hard to try to remember my childhood scenes of them because it rarely appears
Those tearful, but precious memories flood deep inside of my heart
I only wish I could remember those precious memories, but they have started to fade and fall apart
Oh, it is hard to remember what was on my life's pathways, I fear that they never will be retold
But I know that those precious memories are still hidden somewhere down within in my soul

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Its All Coming Back To Me Now

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I cant remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made
But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That its all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
Its so hard to believe but
Its all coming back to me
(its all coming back, its all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things Id never do again
But then theyd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby baby
If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But its all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But its all coming back to me
Its so hard to resist
And its all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But its all coming back to me now
But its all coming back
There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last wed count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then
But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But its all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But its all coming back to me
(its all coming back, its all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things wed never do again
But then theyd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, baby, baby
When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But its all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But its all coming back to me now
If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And its all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
Al coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but its all coming back to me now
(its all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(its all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(its all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(its all coming back to me now)
And if we...

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FEEL AGAIN - Song Lyrics

Passing by my eyes
Are people living lives
They flow before my gaze
Just like the memories
In my mind
I watch them from
My hiding place
In shadows so
To hide my face
And as they pass
The memories flash
Of how it felt to feel that way

And home…
I long for home…
Where is my home…
Please take me home…

Home…
Please take me home…
Where is my home…
I long for home…

I watch the people
Not because
I wanna be their friend
I watch them not
Because I hope to know
Them in the end
I simply watch
And ask myself
Why do I feel this way
How did I get here
Can I hope
To feel again someday
To feel the feelings
That they feel…
To hope, to love, to cry
To fall and feel the pain
Or rise in triumph to the sky

And home…
I long for home…
Where is my home…
Please take me home…

Home…
Please take me home…
Where is my home…
I long for home…

All I have are memories
Of the times
When things were good
Memories of the days
Of when I felt
The way I should
Memories now that
Flow before the view
Inside my mind
Just as the passing people
Flow before my open eyes
Oh God! How can I be
Like them
Is there a way to
Start again
I know there is
I know its there
I’ll find it
I don’t ****ing care
What I have to go through
What I lose and what I lack
I know my heart
Can feel again
If I can only
Find my way back

Home…
I’m going home…
This is my home…
It feels like home…

Home…
This feels like home…
This feels like home…
This feels like home…

Home…
This feels like home…
This feels like home…
This feels like home…

I’m finally home

…Jeff Bresee

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The Hard Way

If I could do it all again
I wouldn't change a thing
I'd have you back the way I had you then
But one thing that I know
This time I wouldn't make you go
I'd have you back I wouldn't lose you again
But I learnt the hard way
I can't have it back what I had then
Yes I learnt the hard way
and I know I won't have that chance again

Some nights I sit on my own
with a feeling of alone
wondering if your ever coming home
but I know why your gone
I'll be the first to say I'm wrong
but it's hard to spend another night alone

Cause I learnt the hard way
I can't have it back what I had then
Yes I learnt the hard way
And I know I won't have that chance again

Yes I learnt the hard way
I can't have it back what I had then
Yes I learnt the hard way
And I know I won't have that chance again
Cause I learnt the hard way

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Try to Understand Me Too (Autism)

Today might not be my day,
You might understand what I want to say.
There are times that I want to wave my hand,
And you might think it is something that I am trying to demand.
Can you hear the soun
ds as I pound my feet,
Well maybe not, but all I am doing is trying to sound a beat.
Do you remember when I read the book with you?
It was about the ghost and you made me laugh when you said BOO.
I love to hear it when we whisper and shout Lullabies, songs and rhymes,
To me I wonder, if they can hear us while we do this during school time.
This is one reason why I always say things over and over again,
And when you try to stop me, I get mad every now and then.
I only wish I can understand everything that I'm being told,
But to me it feels like I am always being controlled.
Can you remember when you asked the class a question and I wanted to answer it when was not my turn,
All I am just trying to do is show you that I can remember things that I learn.
I try to understand why I get so mad and I cannot control myself and I hurt you,
When I think about it I get sad and cry because I wish someone could, Try to Understand Me Too.
I wish the other kids would let me play,
If they took the time to talk to me, they might understand things my way,
I also love it when you want to teach me how to pray,
And you ask the Lord to help thru this day,
I know that you understand me and even, if no one ever wants to even take a guess,
So, this is my ways of saying thank you and telling you that I will always try and do my best.

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Back Home

Yeah yeah yeah
Well Im going back this summer to ohio
Im gonna seek out all my friends Ive always known
Im goin back to that farm that I remember
Well Im goin to spend this summer back home
Back home (back home, back home, back home)
Ill spend my summer (back home)
Back home (back home)
Back home (back home, back home, back home)
Ill spend my summer (back home)
Back home (back home)
Im gonna get up every morning before the roosters
Ill run downstairs fix my breakfast all alone
Ill milk those cows feed the chickens and the horses
Well Im gonna spend this summer back home
Back home (back home, back home, back home)
Ill spend my summer (back home)
Back home (back home)
Back home (back home, back home, back home)
Ill spend my summer (back home)
Back home (back home)
Ill eat everything that ma puts on the table
When I get back you wont believe how Ive grown
Ill hit the sack early everynight thinkin bout tomorrow whoa oh
Well Im gonna spend this summer back home
Back home, back home, back home
Back home (back home, back home, back home)
Ill spend my summer (back home)
Thats what Im gonna do thats where Im gonna be, thats this summer
Back home (back home)
Back home (back home, back home, back home)
Ill spend my summer (back home)
Gonna get up, gonna get up, gonna get up every morning
Back home (back home)
Back home (back home, back home, back home)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Ill spend my summer (back home)
Hey woo feels okay back home
Back home (back home)
Back home (back home, back home, back home)
Ill spend my summer (back home)
Back home

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Goodbye Is Not Forever

A pretty blue sea
A dark drowning abyss

As I stare into space
In a half trance

As memories continue to
Swarm

Tomorrow is the last
The last day

That I will see your face
But you will never fade from my heart

Even as time ravages
What you once were

As you finally return to earth
You will live on in my heart

And all the hearts of those who
Loved and cherished you

It's hard
It's really hard to write these down

To think these thoughts
To hold back tears of loss

I miss everything about you
And I will remember you happy

Remember your best moments
I will try to help the little ones as best I can

But this is so hard
But I'm glad your not in pain

And you've finally gone
Peacefully

Tommorow is my last day seeing you
A lot of people's last day of seeing you

There is so much I want to say
But too much to fully write down

Because I think of new things
Every time a feeling over takes me

I love you Grandpa
And losing you is like a heavy burden I must carry

I miss you
I hope your somewhere better

Goodbye is not forever
It's only the beginning

Your loving granddaughter,
Autumn

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Get It Back

Remember when
It all began
We were all in love
Then came the friends
Telling you when your time for me
Was good enough
I constantly had to compete
With you crew and their schemes
Remembering
Back in the day I used to mean everything
If we could just get it back
(to the way it used to be)
My only wish would be that
(nothing would change with you and me)
I remember how it was
(and I know that for a fact)
We were oh so deep in love
(if we could just get it back)
Now tell me why
All of them nights
You had so much to go
When you said bye
Sometimes I tried, I tried
To make you choose
Now tell me how you can allow
You boys to control the time
We shared it was unfair
But now its time for you to know
(now if I told you)
That Im moving on
(boy what would you do)
Things just aint the same
(we were supposed to)
Conquer everything, yeah
(boy let me tell you)
Youre got to make a change
If we could just get it back
(to the way it used to be)
My only wish would be that
(nothing would change with you and me)
I remember how it was
(and I know that for a fact)
We were oh so deep in love
(if we could just get it back)
If we could just get it back
(to the way it used to be)
My only wish would be that
(nothing would change with you and me)
I remember how it was
(and I know that for a fact)
We were oh so deep in love
(if we could just get it back)
(do you rememebr)
The way you used to love
You would kiss and hug me
(I rememebr)
U havent lately
(do you remember)
All the things you gave me
Everywhere youd take me
(cant you see that)
I really really need you back
If we could just get it back
(to the way it used to be)
My only wish would be that
(nothing would change with you and me)
I remember how it was
(and I know that for a fact)
We were oh so deep in love
(if we could just get it back)

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Better Watch Your Back

Oh, living the life of a madmans wife, has got to be unreal
cause shes got to hold on to ground control
While jack does what he feels
Well he stays away, and then he comes home
And he never knows where hes been
Jack blasts downtown then hes over the line,
And then hes a kid again
Jack said its hard living in a dream, and its hard
Always giving in to me
*his wife saw jack in a crowd of boys and he was talking against
The man
She saw the guys getting dangerous eyes, and she knew it
Was never or then
So she ran on back an d said to jack jack, jack I wouldnt do that,
If youre gonna continue to give your opinion, youd better
Watch your back
Oh, jack said youd better watch your back
Said youd better watch your back
Said youd better watch your back
*said youd better watch your back, oh, jack
Had knock down dream, then he saw the man.
And thought hed save the day
Jack gave roar, made for the door, hed go to church and pray
Say jackie, religion and you, aint mixed well in the past
Remember when you smashed your fist on the eucharist,
Threw up in high mass?
Its hard always giving in to me
* repeat*
Oh, jack youd better watch your back, oh, jack, oh jack,
Oh, jack........

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Painful Memories

He is so lonely.

Feeling like he in a dead place.

Like a cemetery without no grass.

And tombstones of people that he knew from the past.

In the past hisfriend got shot in a drive by in a car that was shattered in broken glass.

But he has a girl that he loves all his life

The love never last.

He was driving in traffic.

And almost ended up in a crash.

Life can hit you hard when you lose somebody close.

And it hurts the most.

Love and hate is what surrounds us in this world and also fate.

He wish he could have his friend back and his girlfriend back.

But only thing is, he have to be strong and move on.

He thinks if he could paint a picture of his feelings.

It would be beautiful art.

The pain he feels is like a ocean.

He looks up in the sky and he saw a raindropp came down watching god cry.

He understands that the lord can feel our pain too.

He understands of being alive and being a man to understand life.

He understands being true.

He understand we can't cry out snow.

Because it would make it a cold world.

He understand he would struggle in life like being hit by hail.

He knows If he cries.

He hopes to sail.

All the pain he has inside.

He cry and flood a field.

But love always kills.

Because the pain is what the heart feels.

So he knows he will have to heal.

And be strong still.

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Hold Me Back

Driving fast and ditching school, breaking all the precious rules.
Its too hard, to make a living.
I need a kick, I need a girl so badly I could scream.
Im sick of watching people on t.v.
I feel the wind, in my face
I need a car at the start of the race
I need a highway and a beer
If I dont stop now theres plenty to fear
(chorus)
Hold me back, oh wont you hold me back
I can get violent any time
Hold me back, I feel another attack
Brewing deep inside
Hold me back, oh wont you hold me back.
Hold me back, oh wont you hold me back
Hold me back
Teacher doesnt understand,
Just how dangerous I am.
I need a break, from the world
Now more than ever, I need it good
I need something I can taste
And a vacation from the human race
I need money, I need it bad
If I dont have it, I get mad
If I get mad I do such terrible things
I get real crazy and I make girls scream.

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Dad-Face to Face to that Eternal Place

Today is a day that I saw my dad really sick and it made me really scared,
As the time went on and his health never got better, we heard something that we really feared.
This made us feel so upset because there was nothing that we could do.
The sadness starts to hit our family and sets in the tears and especially hard for me too.
It is hard, but there is something that we are going to believe that he can hear us of what is being said.
This is the main reason that we are here next to he never wanting to leave her bed.
My dad raised us up to be strong and never to give up hope,
And no matter what happens, he will always be living in our hearts and helping us learn to cope.
We want to pray and say thank you Lord for guarding him up under your wing,
By providing her life with the shelter to whatever the pain will bring.
Yes, this is saddens us and has caused our hearts to awaken,
But by her believing and trusting in you, we know where se will be taken.
We are here to give our life towards you for knowing that you are taking mom to that Eternal Place.
Missing him here will be sad not being here,
But it makes us happy because he is with you will see him again face to face.

By Frank Pulver
.

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Dad

How I wish I could go back
I wish I could tell you I love you
I am so proud of your purple hearts
You were wounded in world war two

You worked hard for your family
I never heard you really complain
You were grateful for all you had
You always tried to show us the way

I remember how you loved to laugh
How you cried when Grandma died
You played Santa Claus every year
You had friends and were well liked

We always went on a long vacation
You taught us to respect and love
To work hard and not be lazy
You taught us to believe in God above

I was twenty-four when we last hugged
They played the taps on that lonely day
Mom and Jim were both still alive
A twenty-one-gun salute by your grave

The love used here is what really counts
Mom and Jim are now home with you
My faith in the Lord is what sustains me
My tears flow but there is more I must do

Your battlefields have long ended
Your heart was good, deep and true
I will always try to honor your name
Dad I want you to know I love you

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Walked Out Of Heaven

I'm rollin' down alonely highway
Askin God toplease forgive me
For messing up the blessin he gave to me
I seeeverything clearer now
The night's as black...
Black as it's ever been
Without my girl
Im'ma lose it
And I pray that he just sheds his grace on me
I need just to be back with my baby
Feels like I just walked right out of heaven
I feel like I done damn near thrown my life away (yea yea yeah)
Like a child that's lost at seven
I don't know what to do
Feels like I just walked right out of heaven
See my mama told me that if it's meant to be
She'll come back and she'll forgive me
And the best thing I can do is to just let her let her go
I know I don't wanna do it
But if I continue to push she'll just pull away
And I know that in my heart it's a reality
I didn't treat her like she wanted to be treated
And I hope that she's not gone for good
No No No
Feels like I just walked right out of heaven
It feels like I done damn near threw my life away(hey)(I done damn near thrown my life away)
I'm scared just like a child that's lost at seven
I don't know what to do(Don't know what to do)
To get back right with you(Get back right with you baby)
It feel like I just walked right out of heaven
It feel like I done damn near throw my life away(yea yea yeah)(Damn near thrown my life away)
Like a child that's lost at seven
I don't know what to do(Don't know what to do)
I feels like I just walked right out of heaven
Baby,
Right before you all the time
So close to you, wrong with my life(Wrong with my life)
Girl I try and I try(I try and I try)
I feel like I can't walk
I feel like I can't talk(I can't even talk)
Don't know what to do
To get back right with you
I feel like I just walked out of heaven
If you ever love somebody
And if you ever have somebody
But you know where your heart can hurt by somebody
Let me hear you say yeah
(It feels like I just walked right of heaven baby)
Feels like I just walked right out of heaven
It feels like I done damn near thrown my life away(hey)(I feel like I done thrown my life away
Scared just like a child that's lost at seven
I don't know what to do
To get back right with you
It feel like I just walked right out of heaven(I just wanna get back right with you)
I feel like I done damn near thrown my life away(hey yea yeah)(I wanna spend my life with you, woah)
Like a child that's lost at seven (woah woah woah woah woah woah woah wo waaa yeah)
I don't know what to do
It Feels like I just walked (yeah)
Feels like I just walked right out of heaven
It feels like I damn near threw my life away(yeah)(hey,somebody hear me out right now)
It feels just like a child that's lost at seven (Sombody feel me out riiight now)
I don't know what to do (I cant do no more)
To get back right with you (you i adore)
It feel like I just walked right out of heaven

song performed by by Jagged EdgeReport problemRelated quotes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'll Be Waiting

I'll be waiting here for you
Can you feel my dream come true
I'll be waiting here for you every day of my life
I'll be waiting here for you
Don't you feel the same way, too
I'll be waiting for the rest of my life
Hold on to what you've got and take my hand
The more we talk the less we understand
The time we shared just seemed to go nowhere
Go nowhere - nowhere
It was the first of july, when I realised, why
While I was walking through the rain
Watching raindrops play their game
Seventeen, seventeen years of pain
I couldn't see, just couldn't see my inner flame
From that day on, sudden I didn't feel alone,
Took all my courage and my pride, I gave myself a ride
Beauty, only comes from deep inside,
I stopped playing with my feelings seek and hide
My great longing in life, was to find that special wife
And everytime one came around,
I hurt her feelings and I found
Out,- it's all about give and take
Last one I did, but the first one was a fake
Honesty was, what I didn't know about
And finally I met the one
That's when I started her to show
Love,- isn't it a compromise
I almost paid the highest price
Come back to what you've got and take my hand
I'm your passion, I'm your fortune, I'm your friend
How can broken hearts just find their way back home
Way back home - again

song performed by by DJ BoboReport problemRelated quotes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pushed One Time To Many

Lying here once again on the ground
After taking yet another long, hard fall
I reach out my hand for any of you to help me

But nobody's there

I try
I struggle
I'm on my hands and knees
I try to push myself back onto my feet

But it's useless
Because you people keep stepping over

Or worse

You keep stepping on me
Why?

Because, none of you care

It's hard getting back on my feet
After a number a low blows and a good hard push
Has left me bleeding here on the concrete

All I hear is
'Don't give up'
'You can do it, just get back up'

But maybe I don't want to get back up
Maybe I'm finally ready to admit defeat
Maybe you've pushed me one times to many

And this time I've finally had enough

poem by Tiger Lily LoveReport problemRelated quotes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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