Even as a child
Even as a child
my face was “gloomy.” I found
few reasons to smile, none to laugh:
father gutting his great gifts
for the cheers of clowns.
For us. For money. My mother
dazed by drugs. My brother
charming, selfless. But also
smirking, corrupt. All lying,
and loving each other. Comedy?
From the fool’s angle, the coward’s angle. Laughter
means turning your back on suffering.
And on the hard truth that tragedy
writes the last act—always. I loved
the sea because it said that.
With infinite dignity and calm
and terrible firmness.
Knowing too well
the struggle and sorrow of life I tried hard
to believe, to help. In plays I wanted
to bring our past alive—the brave dreams.
But probing deep I saw cruelty, decay.
In my last year I could only rage
that our country too had cast away
the best chance ever—like my father!
For greed, blind greed, we grew deaf
to the one question that matters, “What
does it profit a man if he gain the whole world but...”
Damn! Damn our dumb callousness.
poem by Eugene O'Neill
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Father I Still Love You
I tried so hard to love you
But you never really cared
I tried so hard to trust you
But you were never really there
I wanted you to love me
But your heart had grown so cold
I wanted you to play with me
But money was your only goal
And now that I've grown older
And I look back on the years
I remember all the anger
The hurt the pain the tears
Father I forgive you
For all those wasted years
And I try not to remember
All the hurt the pain the tears
But father just please tell me
Did you ever love me once
Or was I just like leftovers
That you throw out after lunch
Father I still love you
And I'll never let that die
But father just please look at me
Say you love me to my eye
Father I must be honest
When you left I found another
My Father up in Heaven
And Jesus my loving Brother
They were the ones who loved me
When you had never cared
They were the ones who saved me
From a life of hate and despair
Father I still love you
And that will always stay true
But father will you love me
Because your child still needs you.
poem by Daniel Sweetnam
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Define A Father
what did i do so wrong, to make you hate me for this long? your supposed to be my father, your supposed to care, but then again what father breaks promises made to his child, what kind of father is never there. I tried so hard to please you. I gave you the best i could to make you love me but you never would. I thought it was because of her that you never wanted me around, i did all i could to make you see how much she hated me. Then she was gone and i thought the problem would be fixed but the truth was so plain to see, it wasnt only her who hated me. you'd always ignore me, that would hurt so bad, then you'd yell at me and tell me ' you didn't want to see my god-damn face' and that would make me so mad, your supposed to love me, damnit grow up and be a real dad. Define a father to me and all that comes to mind is a loveing, secure man who knows that his children love him and even more, he knows he loves his children. Define a father and sometimes i still try to see you but in reality your only love is electronic and doesn't really give a damn that you love it. Define a father and there's no way to describe the love and devotion, the smiles and cheers, he helps you succeed and wipes away your tears. A father to me is devoted, loving, determined, and is willing to do whatever it takes to protect his family. Define a father and i dont see you.
Devotion to his family and all the things he can do. CAn you look at your father and know that he loves you?
poem by cynthia Routen
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Born To Be Ransomed
Born to be ransomed,
Born for a reason,
On one side Love,
On the other side Security,
Mabey,
Taken to be placed elsewhere,
Or,
Mabey,
Taken to be placed with them,
Born to be ransomed,
Held ransomed by those,
For security measures of the father and mother,
So,
They are called on by the beckoning,
Of,
Those holding child held by ransomed,
Is what people do when child means,
A lot to mother and father,
Love and security in family keepings,
Born to be ransomed,
With intent to use child,
By the takers of child,
To profit and gain,
For themselves in lifes times,
When child born is then used,
Till,
Mother and father is killed,
And,
Child is then raised in a racket,
For,
What mother and father were,
And,
Left for the child when child grown,
In giving is receiving,
All that has good intentions,
Gives for good reasons,
Yet,
Why one is born to be ransomed,
Is,
The what see's and pre-desires,
The placement and life,
Of,
What two in love have made,
The unborn child then becomes,
The ransom of what wants,
What,
The two have in love and wealth,
When this goes on and child is grown,
The eyes that see and yet do not understand,
Is,
The child raised seeing all,
From,
The good ways,
To the bad ways,
To the cruel ways,
To,
The crimes committed and seen,
Is,
The eyes of seeing,
From,
Been born in a world disrupted,
Is,
A child born and ransomed,
What is of matter,
Mattering to two,
Two in love,
That,
Choose to be one,
One as in a couple,
To matter and be,
For,
What matters to them,
Is,
What brings matter of two,
To,
Become a matter of one,
A,
Child born of two,
Yet,
Now matter's to none,
But,
What ransoms the child out,
Till,
The child grew to be,
And,
Left them all behind,
Knowing,
Mother and father are dead,
Living,
Life knowing too much,
Just,
From been the ransom,
The ransom,
Of,
All,
That,
Is,
Of,
Mother and father,
Till,
All,
Of,
Mother and father's,
Income and places,
Was,
Spent and giving to others,
Tis,
Then,
Ransomed child grown,
Can,
Leave,
With noting,
But themselve,
To have some kind,
Of life,
Somewhere else,
Faraway!
poem by Ellen Ni Bheachain
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Angle Of Sorrow...
This be me the angle of sorrow…
This is me the angle you wont see tomorrow…
The angle of sorrow who looks for no tomorrow…
The angle of sorrow isn't the one you want to borrow…
This angle isn't going to mangle but he's just going to dangle…
From the ceilings he is going to dangle…
The angle or sorrow is the angle who wont be here forever however
His sorrow will remain in this place forever.
I will bring on sheer terror so be ready to fear
Im coming at you with a spear…don't let me get near… because I will tear you to
Smears…steer away from my path before you get blast…
This place is soo vast but remember that I am fast…
don't let me pass or you will be last…
This is the angle of sorrow…
The angle you wouldn't wanna see tomorrow…
By: Tou Yang
I was a Child
I was not the one
Who killed my father
I was quite young
When he died.
I was a child, what could I know
I was too dazed even to think
They say he loved me
Willed me grow great
He played with me
We sang in the eves.
I was a child, what could I know
I was too dazed even to think
We hoped for brightness
And for tomorrow
Then he slumped
To breathe his last.
I was a child, what could I know
I was too dazed even to think
Dirge for me I pray
Papa lives no longer
Beady salt water drops
From my sockets.
I was a child, what could I know
I was too dazed even to think
Things happened fast
Leaving me stunned
I racked my brain
I rack it still.
I was a child, what could I know
I was too dazed even to think
I cling onto mama
Perhaps she'll keep
Will console me well
For days gone by.
I was a child, what could I know
I was too dazed even to think
I search her eyes
To find some faith
She must stay here
Ever at my side.
I was a child, what could I know
I was too dazed even to think
She too escapes
Abandons me quick
I am raw and untaught
I have learned no trade.
I was a child, what could I know
I was too dazed even to think
My father's brothers
Like not my face
Gang together, they say
We must squelch him.
I was a child, what could I know
I was too dazed even to think
He must not be great
Like his father
How he struts
Like the old block!
I was a child, what could I know
I was too dazed even to think
This chip will be a cyber
If we lag and tarry
Hound him like the jackal
Aim at his blood.
I was a child, what could I know
I was too dazed even to think
I run fast and scurrily
I fain would live
Great to be like papa
Greater even than he.
I was a child, what could I know
I was too dazed even to think
Now I am a man
I truly can know
I am not too dazed
Even to think.
I was a child, what could I know
I was too dazed even to think
poem by Samuel Munachim
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Reminiscence
A rose reminiscent of my father's garden
I found growing by a pathway outside my home- as well as
Another just lying upon the sidewalk-
I collected them and brought them home and
Placed them in a vase my mother always loved.
My mother and father always loved the springtime and
On this rainy Saturday afternoon,
I find it hard to believe they have been gone for twenty years.
My mother's spirit was as delicate as the petals on these roses-
My father's, as strong as their thorny stems that upheld them and
My own spirit, by them, always misunderstood.
Flowers are blossoming everywhere-
Daffodils and wild violets growing every place I look and
Cherry blossoms and dogwood seemly decorating the trees-
Bring back the fonder memories of my mother and my father-while
The rain and the sky so gray and overcast
Bring back memories of the sadness of being misunderstood.
It has been nearly forty years that
I had made my own special world in which to live and
In this world flowers grew not only just in the springtime months-
But all year around and in every place.
The real world was then, to me, a place I never lived in or comprehended, and
As long as I kept my mind alive inside the world of my imagination-
At that time, I believed that I had not a thing to fear.
Roses reminiscent of my father's garden,
Placed in the vase my mother so loved-
Upon this rainy Saturday day in March, evokes a few tears in my eyes and
Just for the moment I think of the laughter and good times we had together-
These thoughts are interrupted by memories of all of the anger, sadness,
Mistrust and disbelief that now overshadow memories of
These few pleasurable moments we not so often shared, and
I take these roses from the vase that sits alone upon the table,
Open my picture window and throw them to the rain, and
As my tears cease to fall and dry away- I say goodbye to all unhappy memories-and
As thoughts of my self-made world disappear,
I am thankful that I have a life in this world here alive, and while
I watch the rose petals flutter about in a gentle spring like breeze-
I leave thoughts of discontented past times behind me and
I realize that I have just been set free.
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Deserted
No, mother, I am not sad:
Why think me sad? I was always still,
You remember, even when my heart was most glad
And you used to let me dream at my will;
And now I like better to watch the sea
And the calm sad sky than to laugh with the rest.
You know they are full of chatter and glee,
And I like the quietness best.
Nay, mother, you look so grave.
I know what you're thinking and will not say;
But you need not fear; I am growing brave
Now that the pain is passing away,
And I never weep for him now when alone,
For perhaps it was better -- who can tell? --
That it ended so. I shall soon be well
Now that the hardest is known.
I am so much stronger to-day
I can look at all past and think how it grew
And how by degrees it faded away,
That light of my life. Ah! when I first knew
I had only been a plaything to him
Through all my loving, it seemed so strange.
If the high noontide at once grew night-dim
It would not be such a change.
I wonder I did not die.
Mother, I'll own it you now I am strong,
I used to wake in the night and lie
Wishing and wishing it might not be long --
Oh! it was wicked, and you all so kind,
How could I wish to bring you a grief?
But too much unhappiness makes one blind
To all but one's own relief.
I am not so wicked now;
You need not fear. I am hoping that still,
I am learning to lean on God, and I bow,
Yes I think I bow my heart to His will.
I found it a long hard struggle to make,
To clasp my sorrow and say "It is best,"
But, believe it, you need not fear for my sake;
Yes, mother, I am at rest:
Yet, listen, if I should die soon --
And I know what they say, though you hide it from me --
Mother, you'll grant me my last-asked boon,
That you'll try not to think it his fault, and if he,
Mother, if he should seek you some day,
You will not make him a hard reply,
But tell him, before I passed away,
I sent him kind good-bye.
Mother, kiss me, do not cry.
I could not keep from speaking of this;
It is nothing to say "If I should die,"
It cannot bring death more near than it is;
And I am much stronger. You shall not weep --
Who is it tells me that weeping is wrong?
But let me lean on your lap and sleep,
I lay waking last night too long.
poem by Augusta Davies Webster
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tis In The Power Of Money
'Tis in the power of money real fame is to be found
And money is always involved where corruption abound
And corruption and human greed to each other live nearby
And why some people are corrupt this could be the answer why
Some will tell you that money is their nearest and dearest friend
And it is because of money that many friendships are known to end
And many with lots of money seem to have a crave for more
This year they have made two million in profit next year they aim for four
The lust for paper currency to everyone does not apply
But that money speaks every language is something that none can deny
Those with it are looked up to and those without it on are looked down
And who would wish for to be known as the pauper of the town
'Tis the lust for money that leads to corruption through greed
And those with plenty of it looked up to as those who in life succeed.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Brother Sarah - Sway B-side
My brother sarah
Doesn't know what clothes to wear
It's a dilemma
To get the stuff to match your hair
But mother and father
Sister and brother
Say they just don't know
My brother sarah
Really wish you understood
Why he's got to show it
For it to be any damn good
But mother and father
Sister and brother
Say they just don't know
My brother lies awake at night
Wishing this world could just be right
But mother and father
Sister and brother
You and all the others
Say you just don't know
song performed by by Ocean Colour Scene
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Y
Don't ask us Y!
We do the things that we do
Don't ask us Y!
We feel the same as you
Don't ask us Y!
Life can be so damn cruel
Don't ask us Y!
It's all been decided for you
Pure soul first breath is filled with sin
A young child just born quit suffering
A mother's greed, get high, chasin' ghosts again
This will happen over and over again!
Don't ask us Y!
We do the things that we do
Don't ask us Y!
We feel the same as you
Don't ask us Y!
Life can be so damn cruel
Don't ask us Y!
It's all been decided for you
I look into your eyes, I feel your pain, life's insane
I'm gonna do my best to try again and live again
I know we're all the same, we live our lives it's like a game
And still we do it over and over again!
Don't ask us Y!
We do the things that we do
Don't ask us Y!
We feel the same as you
Don't ask us Y!
Life can be so damn cruel
Don't ask us Y!
It's all been decided for you
First communion done, now your life has just begun
Second plot the whole world is looking with a gun
Another child will do it when he's on the run
The vicious circle of life has just begun!
Don't ask us Y!
We do the things that we do!
Don't ask us Y!
We feel the same as you!
Don't ask us Y!
Life can be sooo cruel!
Don't ask us Y!
It's all been decided for you!
Don't ask us Y!
We feel the same as you
Don't ask us Y!
Life can be so damn cruel
Don't ask us Y!
It's all been decided for you
Don't ask us Y!
We do the things that we do
Don't ask us Y!
We feel the same as you
Don't ask us Y!
We feel the same as you
Don't ask us Y!
We feel the same as you
Don't ask us Y!
It's all, yeah, it's all
Don't ask us Y!
It's all decided for you
song performed by by Zug Izland
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cadillac Dreams
When I was seventeen, found out just what it means
If you can get it free, it just aint worth a damn
When I heard the preacher say, dont throw your life away
I got that message, and I wrote it on the wall
I dont want anybody tellin me lies, no, I dont want your diamond ring
cause you aint got my size
I want money, money, thats what I need,
I got cadillac dreams, please mister dontcha take it from me
Give me money, money, more than I need, I got cadillac dreams waitin on me
Cadillac dreams, cadillac dreams
When I had the young boy blues, I paid some young boy dues
I learned the hard way, theres a heartbreak every day
Stone cold reality came crashing down on me
Well life was hard on me, but I still dont give a damn
When I was seventeen I was an angry young man
But I wont let just anybody tell me who I am
I just want money, money, thats all I need
I got cadillac dreams, hey mister dontcha take it from me
Give me money, money, more than I need, these cadillac dreams are waitin on me
Didnt have the time of day, till this dream was born
You cant take that away, you cant take that away from me
(solo)
When I was seventeen, there was this beauty queen
Checked in a one room suite, the back seat of my car
When you want all the best things money can buy
You gotta reach down inside of you, to reach up to the sky
Yeah, I want money, money, thats all I need
I got cadillac dreams, hey mister you cant take that from me
I want money, money, more than I need, I got cadillac dreams waitin on me
Money, money, thats what I need
Were drivin in my chevy with my cadillac dreams
Someday, one day, just you and me
Well ride inside these cadillac dreams
song performed by by Kiss
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Little Brother
Hey little brother, youve got so much to discover
Cant you conceptualize what youre doing to our mother
Those drugs that you chose
Leave you left with the blues
Trust me Ive been there
To me its old news
Mending disaster
Youre heading there faster
Its tearing me up
To know you get __
Because youre caught up in the scene at the age of nineteen
__ at the age of where I had a dream
And those goddamn __ dirt drugs
Theyll fill you with doubt
Youre just getting sucked on a __
And you have to break out
You blacked out on the floor
You told me, the next day they found you that way
Those damn medications had your back baby
It hurt really to come all the way
Youre feeling so __
Youre looking for a place to land
Only understand
How the hell it gets so out of hand
I know that it hard
But youre risking being permanently scared
Youre hurting inside
But youre flirting with tragedy on the dark side
Those drugs that you chose
Leave you left with the blues
Trust me Ive been there
To me its old news
Hey little brother
You messed up another chance
Sooner or later you must take a stand
At the edge of it
All where it begins
To consume that product to its very end
How much time is left
Will it collapse
Will you confess your inner spiritless void
Spinning on no excess
You blacked out on the floor
You told me, the next day they found you that way
Those damn medications had your back baby
It hurt really to come all the way
Youre feeling so __
Youre looking for a place to land
Only understand
How the hell it gets so out of hand
song performed by by 311
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Facing the Truth of Your Lies
Back in September of 2004 -
A couple of months after
My short stay in the hospital
For severe depression -
I tried to contact you to see
If you still missed me,
As you rudely told me
To leave you alone,
That you were married
And had moved, had your
Last name changed to
Your new husband's
And were expecting
A brand new child.
Two years later I learn
The truth through none
Other than that fake 'husband'
Of yours, who posted a message
In one of his hosting forums
Back in 2005 when he was 19
And you were 28.
And so I face the truth, that
You wanted me to face
So much - the truth that
You were always lying
To me and to others
About who you really are -
An insecure and confused
Woman with two children
Without a real father.
No, you were never married
To that geek, who's so good
With computers, who
Drives around fixing other
People's technical problems,
Putting 8-9 hours each day
And not going to school,
To support you and your
Two kids, who are not even
His in a biological or
Legal sense.
For you two were 'living in sin'
Together, as he puts it,
Being 'disowned' by the
Majority of his family
And his manipulative
Mother, who was using
Him to get back at his father.
Well, it looks like he traded
His mother for a new one,
Who's just as manipulative
And conniving.
And I wonder what you do
When he's not around?
Do you stay at home and
Play a fake 'good wife'?
Or do you explore new men
And new options?
Oh yes,
He calls you his fiancée now -
After two years of living together -
But knowing you, I wonder
If you really want to get
Married and miss a chance
That something better comes
Along?
Well, I wish you luck in
Your decision, but I
Just want to say that
I loved you even if I was
A fool to believe you.
March 30,2006
poem by Alexander Shaumyan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Song For Dad
Lately Ive been noticing
I say the same things he used to say
And I even find myself acting the very same way
I tap my fingers on the table
To the rhythm in my soul
And I jingle the car keys
When Im ready to go
When I look in the mirror
Hes right there in my eyes
Starin back at me and I realize
The older I get
The more I can see
How much he loved my mother and my brother and me
And he did the best that he could
And I only hope when I have my own family
That everyday I see
A little more of my father in me
There were times I thought he was bein
Just a little bit hard on me
But now I understand he was makin me
Become the man he knew that I could be
In everything he ever did
He always did with love
And Im proud today to say Im his son
When somebody says I hope I get to meet your dad
I just smile and say you already have
The older I get
The more I can see
How much he loved my mother and my brother and me
And he did the best that he could
And I only hope when I have my own family
That everyday I see
A little more of my father in me
Hes in my eyes
My heart, my soul
My hands, my pride
And when I feel alone
And I think I cant go on
I hear him sayin son youll be alright
Everythings gonna be alright
Yes it is
The older I get
The more I can see
That he loved my mother and my brother and me
And he did the best that he could
And I only hope when I have my own family
That everyday I see
Oh I hope I see
I hope everyday I see
A little more of my father in me
A little more of my father in me
I hope everyday I see in me
In me
In me
I hope everyday I see
A little more of my father in me
song performed by by Keith Urban
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My dad went through a sea of deaths. The oldest of six, he buried his four younger brothers and four of his children. Yes, I was it. His philosophy after grieving was to laugh. To try to bring some joy to others, because life is just so hard sometimes. Because it ends. My father also had a huge amount of dignity. This Mark Twain quote sums up the way my father and mother felt about life: "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." … I am very proud of the life I have led so far. I have a lot of love in my life. And a lot of laughs. And I wish that for you all. I wish that even for the guy in the audience with his arms folded.
quote by Bob Saget
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Alive
Al, he sells records down on old st. charleys street
Hes cleaning up fat tuesdays mess he keeps the sidewalks neat
And he just lost his father and he just lost his wife
And if it wasnt for the music he couldnt get on with his life
And he knows what I know
Its not all that hard to survive
You take the good and the bad and the time in between
It lets us know were alive
Well now be bes singing gospel
And down on bourbon she sings the blues
She plays on all my heart strings curls my toes up in my shoes
And she knows what Im after
Chase my dreams with all my might
She says you shouldnt be so anxious and deep down I know shes right
And she knows what I know
Its not all that hard to survive
You take the good and the bad and the time in between
It lets us know were alive
Well get on board the rocket
Step right into the front car
You know lifes a roller coaster
It aint got no safety bar
Raise your voices up with laughter
Bring it in with one big sigh
Consecrated in the wonder .... were alive
Norman he plays music but only in my dreams
Shows me all the beauty that soulful music brings
But sometimes hes a spectre and I wake up clenched with fear
But lesson good or bad he always keeps me clear
And he knows what I know
Its not all that hard to survive
You take the good and the bad and the time in between
It lets us know were alive
song performed by by Edwin McCain
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Its Money That Matters
Of all of the people that I used to know
Most never adjusted to the great big world
I see them lurking in book stores
Working for the public radio
Carrying their babies around in a sack on their back
Moving careful and slow
(chorus)
Its money that matters
Hear what I say
Its money that matters
In the usa
All of these people are much brighter than i
In any fair system they would flourish and thrive
But they barely survive
They eke out a living and they barely survive
When I was a young boy, maybe thirteen
I took a hard look around me and asked what does it mean?
So I talked to my father, and he didnt know
And I talked to my friend and he didnt know
And I talked to my brother and he didnt know
And I talked to everybody that I knew
(chorus)
Its money that matters
Now you know that its true
Its money that matters
Whatever you do
Then I talked to a man lived up on the county line
I was washing his car with a friend of mine
He was a little fat guy in a red jumpsuit
I said you look kind of funny
He said I know that I do
But I got a great big house on the hill here
And a great big blonde wife inside it
And a great big pool in my backyard and another great big pool
Beside it
Sonny its money that matters, hear what I say
Its money that matters in the usa
Its money that matters
Now you know that its true
Its money that matters whatever you do
song performed by by Randy Newman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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God Damn Me
There isn't enough hot water to be in
There isn't enough salt lake to to lie in
There isn't enough sky to fly in
So softly
There isn't enough breath to breathe
Not for me
Oh God damn me
Oh God damn me
There isn't enough snow to see through
Snows too deep
There isn't enough fog to see through
Not through to me
There isn't enough gain to get from
Not from me
Oh God damn me
Oh God damn me
Nothing changes
Nothing we erase
Nothing to change
Nothing but me
Oh God damn me
Oh God damn me
song performed by by Filter from The Amalgamut
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Child's Laughter
One of a kind this cheerful sound
A child's laughter wherever it's found
From the giggling of a baby in a playpen
To the laughter of a toddler again and again
A child's laughter can bring a smile
To one who hasn't done so in such a long while
I know because that one was me
Until my daughter's laugh set mine free
A child's laughter so gleeful and pure
An innocence adults miss for sure
Laughter that can bring back the past
And memories of a youth that flew by so fast
A child's laughter can bring out the best
Of most any man when he's depressed
Cause his spirit that's fall to soar
Until at last he laughs once more
poem by Harry J. Couchon Jr
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Daddy Please Don't Hurt Mommy
A little girl stood crying as the father beat the mother,
next to the girl stood her older sister, and older brother.
Alcohol was the demon that drove the beating hand,
the mother bruised, and sobbing cowards from the man.
Why does daddy do that thought the little girl?
Oh how I hate my father, he's the worst person in the world.
The mother now alone in the bedroom with a razor above her wrist.
'Please mommy don't do it, ' the youngest child did persist.
The father starves the mother, three days in a row,
the little girl hates her father, yet the father is too drunk to know.
Is alcohol the problem or does there exist more?
The little girl's answer comes from her sobbing mother lying hurt on the cold, hard floor.
poem by Velmar Pewee Hale Johnson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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