Ballad of the Jelly-Cake
A little boy whose name was Tim
Once ate some jelly-cake for tea--
Which cake did not agree with him,
As by the sequel you shall see.
'My darling child,' his mother said,
'Pray do not eat that jelly-cake,
For, after you have gone to bed,
I fear 't will make your stomach ache!'
But foolish little Tim demurred
Unto his mother's warning word.
That night, while all the household slept,
Tim felt an awful pain, and then
From out the dark a nightmare leapt
And stood upon his abdomen!
'I cannot breathe!' the infant cried--
'Oh, Mrs. Nightmare, pity take!'
'There is no mercy,' she replied,
'For boys who feast on jelly-cake!'
And so, despite the moans of Tim,
The cruel nightmare went for him.
At first, she 'd tickle Timmy's toes
Or roughly smite his baby cheek--
And now she 'd rudely tweak his nose
And other petty vengeance wreak;
And then, with hobnails in her shoes
And her two horrid eyes aflame,
The mare proceeded to amuse,
Herself by prancing o'er his frame--
First to his throbbing brow, and then
Back to his little feet again.
At last, fantastic, wild, and weird,
And clad in garments ghastly grim,
A scowling hoodoo band appeared
And joined in worrying little Tim.
Each member of this hoodoo horde
Surrounded Tim with fierce ado
And with long, cruel gimlets bored
His aching system through and through,
And while they labored all night long
The nightmare neighed a dismal song.
Next morning, looking pale and wild,
Poor little Tim emerged from bed--
'Good gracious! what can ail the child!'
His agitated mother said.
'We live to learn,' responded he,
'And I have lived to learn to take
Plain bread and butter for my tea,
And never, never, jelly-cake!
For when my hulk with pastry teems,
I must expect unpleasant dreams!'
poem by Eugene Field
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Related quotes
The Baker Man
Well here comes a dance that will never be banned now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
Yeah, stolen from a story called "The Baker's Man" now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Choo choo choo choo-do choo choo)
It's impossible too sweet to cross the land????
(Patty cake patty cake)
Put your favorite records on and start the show now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
Abra-cadabra look at everyone go now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Choo choo choo choo-do choo choo)
Alakazam this dance has got to grow now
(Patty cake patty cake)
Well they tell me that it's optional to use your feet
But now you really don't need them if you keep your beat
Well Arthur Murray's gettin' blurry tryin' to learn that jive
When all the kids from coast to coast are really comin' alive
Well go tell the gang what a time you've had now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
This Friday night we'll start a regular fad now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Choo choo choo choo-do choo choo)
We'll do the Baker 'til it drives us mad now
(Patty cake patty cake)
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
(Choo choo choo choo-do choo choo)
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
Come on and take a lesson now
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
Clap your partner's hands
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
Not too hard
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
Now slap her in the face
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man)
What a disgrace
(Choo choo choo choo-do choo choo)
(Patty cake patty cake)
(Patty cake patty cake baker's man
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tea For Three
Hedley's mother had hairy legs.
That's one reason you liked to
go over for tea some days. That
and the fact she wore the kind
of short dress no other women
you knew would wear at least
not in front of minors like yourself
and Hedley. More tea? Cake?
she asked giving you the big smile
and oozing her perfume from her
nearby body. Yes more cake please
and are those salmon sandwiches?
Yes dear and there's plenty more
if you want she replied. She poured tea
and brought more cake and sandwiches
and sat down opposite you and said
how's your mother dear? Oh she's ok
you said gazing dumbly at Hedley's
mother and the way her hands moved
over the plates and held the teapot
with the red fingernails and the rings
on her fingers. Is your husband not here?
you asked. No he's away business calls
and such like she said giving you the smile
and bright eyes. Oh good glad he's got
plenty of work on you replied. Hedley ate
and drank and said little over tea. His
mother ate quite daintily her fingers
holding the cup with her little digit sticking
out as she drank. Ah she said suddenly
I forgot the jelly and ice-cream and off
she walked and you watched as she went.
Her hair legs really grabbed your attention.
Mothers huh? Hedley said. Keeping face
against the odds. Father's probably
screwing his female clients or staying
over in cheap hotels with the red-light girls.
Oh right you said guess some father's do.
Here's the jelly and ice cream Hedley's
mother said on her return hope you like it
she said I like it when it wobbles and the soft
taste on the tongue. Hedley said nothing and
nor did you. You were thinking of Hedley's father
and those cheap hotels and the girls he'd screw.
poem by Terry Collett
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Cake And Eat It
when I was a child
people kept telling me
you can't have your cake
and eat it...
I replied what point
is there to having a cake
if you do not eat it
cake is made to be eaten...
and if the kept cake
is soon not enjoyed eaten
it will be stale turn rotten
be thrown away wasted...
poem by Terence George Craddock
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Weird Nightmare
Weird nightmare
You haunt my every dream
Weird nightmare
Tell me whats your scheme?
Can it be that youre a part
Of a lonely broken heart?
Weird nightmare
Why must you torment me?
Weird nightmare
Pain and misery
In a heart thats loved and lost
Take away the grief youve caused
Cant sleep at night
Twist, turn in fright
With the fear that Ill live it all again
In my dreams
Youre there to haunt me
When you say she doesnt want me
Ive been hurt
Do you know what that means?
Weird nightmare
Take away this dream youve born
Weird nightmare
Mend a heart thats torn
That has paid the price of love
A thousand fold
Bring me a love
With a heart of gold
Weird nightmare
song performed by by Elvis Costello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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About May
One night Nurse Sleep held out her hand
To tired little May.
'Come, go with me to Wonderland,'
She said, 'I know the way.
Just rock-a-by-hum-m-m,
And lo! we come
To the place where the dream-girls play.'
But naughty May, she wriggled away
From Sleep's soft arms, and said:
'I must stay awake till I eat my cake,
And then I will go to bed;
With a by-lo, away I will go.'
But the good nurse shook her head.
She shook her head and away she sped,
While May sat munching her crumb.
But after the cake there came an ache,
Though May cried: 'Come, Sleep, come,
And it's oh! my! let us by-lo-by'-
All save the echoes were dumb.
She ran after Sleep toward Wonderland,
Ran till the morning light;
And just as she caught her and grasped her hand,
A nightmare gave her a fright.
And it's by-lo, I hope she'll know
Better another night.
poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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Cheese Cake
I met a babe in a backseat drive-in
Back in the saddle shed sit
Pulled on the reins just to keep me risin
She loved to chomp at the bit
Daddy do it, oh, just do it
Daddy do it, please let me see
Do it, please just do it daddy
Do it, do it, drivin me crazy
She walks away with her eyes
Down on her bootlace
She lives to give it away
She dont believe in the right or the wrong case
Shes always liable to say
Daddy do it, oh, just do it
Daddy do it, please let me see
Do it, please just do it daddy
Do it, do it, drivin me crazy
(cheese cake), looser than her sister
(cheese cake), her sugar gets me high
She knows I cant resist her (cheese cake)
Got my fingers in her pie (cheese cake)
(cheese cake), sneakin out the back door
(cheese cake), rollin down the lawn
Everybody kissed her (cheese cake)
At the crack of dawn (cheese cake)
Daddy do it, oh, just do it
Daddy do it, please let me see
Daddy do it, please just do it daddy
Do it, do it, do it, drivin me crazy
(cheese cake), looser than her sister
(cheese cake), her sugar gets me high
She knows I cant resist her (cheese cake)
Got my fingers in her pie (cheese cake)
Repeat (cheese cake)
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jelly Jelly
Jelly jelly
By gregg allman
Copyright 1973 allbro music, unichappell music inc. and elijah blue music
Stormy stormy rain
Im as lonesome as a man can be
Oh, its stormin, stormin rain and
Im as lonesome as a man can be.
Whoa, the way youve been treatin me,
I realize its not the same.
Its a down-right rotten,
Low down dirty shame
Lord its a down right rotten
Low down dirty shame
The way that you treated me
Lord I know Im not to blame
Jelly jelly jelly
Jelly stays on my mind (hal leonard book says jelly stains on my mind)
Jelly jelly jelly
Jelly stays on my mind
Jelly roll killed my pappy,
And drove my mama stone blind.
song performed by by Allman Brothers Band
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Where Do The Fairies Go?
I was eating a fairy cake the other morn, when I thought I wonder if it's true that for every baby born, a fairy god mother is sworn.
Well now I have grown up, can I still speak to the fairies or am I just away with?
I seem to think I know they are there, but where have they gone?
I don't remember ever seeing one, what do they look like, are they pixies, elves or just plain sprite?
I have heard is possible to see, but that is only by those who believe, or is it just for those inclined spiritually?
Well my fairy cake tasted just nice. Maybe the cake is blessed by fairies, hence their name, or maybe fairies are just another bed-time story again?
poem by Steven Robinson
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I Like Cake
I like cake
I like sweet things
I like those tastes
That on my taste buds sing
But i don't like biscuits
They are far too dry
And the thought of eating mussels
Makes me really want to cry
But i do like cake
Don't even ask me why
It's not as if i haven't even had to try
All those other things that other people seem to like
For i like cake
And cake is what i like.
poem by David Keig
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The wedding cake couple
The wedding cake couple
Held hands on-top in vigil
Clinging on to each other tightly
There ‘I do's' written in song
Lasted just as long as it took!
Mother in law to take another
Man across the ebony dance floor.
Her six more devoured the cake
But are wedding cake couple
They still held hands in vigil
On the last tier of the disaffected
So they pervaded and kissed
But then great grandma waltzed
In like an elephant to depose
All those who imposed self will
She cared little for our wedding cake couple
She snapped them down the middle
Just to see if they weren't just candy too.
But are wedding cake couple
They still held hands somewhere later
They pervaded and kissed
And renewed their vows
Clinging on to each other tightly,
There 'I do's' written in song
Lasted just as long as it took!
The disco-ball world to end...
poem by Mark Heathcote
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Raspberry Jelly [Creation Myth #14]
I am too old for jelly
Mother
gives rage that wobbles
the pud
I cannot now eat
Please reduce your stress
Mother
sits down, washed out
of blood -
I understand, keep track
And in her understated way
Mother
snatches the undesired away
throws it away
'Don't throw a menstrual' I say
Ironic that it was raspberry
Mother
grapples with my confrontation
and stays -
'Your friend called, ' in passing -
'He says he's done something.'
And I know what this means -
The jelly now seems quite
comforting.
poem by Simon Huggins
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Some-Fake-A Baked Cake
No I don't have...
What I do have.
And I do have...
That which I don't.
A peaceless sleep...
Like many who walk 'mean' streets.
No I wont have,
None of that!
Strung out on dope,
Because I can't cope.
No I don't have,
None of that to keep me off track.
Or,
Make an impact.
No I don't have...
What I do have.
And I do have...
That which I don't.
No I don't have...
What I do have.
And I do have...
That which I don't.
Psychotic I'm not...
Like the ones who worry a lot.
Or hooked on smoking pot.
No I don't have...
What I do have.
And I do have,
That which I don't!
No I don't have...
What I do have.
And I do have,
That which I don't!
Even though...
Some-fake-a baked cake.
Some-fake-a baked cake.
Some-fake-a baked cake.
And I wont have...
None of that.
Even though...
Some-fake-a baked cake.
Some-fake-a baked cake.
Some-fake-a baked cake.
And I wont have...
None of that.
No!
I wont have...
None of that.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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How Much Cake Can You Eat
The shining spoons of this town
All point in your direction
Can you keep a secret?
We can trust you, we can throw you
Are you sitting on your feet?
How much cake can you eat?
Are you sitting on your feet?
How much cake can you eat?
Are you sitting on your feet?
How much cake can you eat?
Are you sitting on your feet?
How much cake can you eat?
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Simple bite
Dog pray for
God...
God comes
Dog pray...
'O..dog what do want...? '
Asking god
Dog did not see...
Clouse with eyes
And pray...
God mazic to
With cake's...
' cake for you...'
Told god
Dog open eyes
With simple bite god hand
Take for cake...
God was woory for dog
With god's hand...!
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Homemade Love
Oh, oo.
Oo, baby.
I love cookin with honey.
I love to make you feel funny.
I love the way you do.
I want, I want it with you, yeah.
Homemade love, jelly roll love.
Homemade love.
I need a jelly roll sweetie.
Now, spread it oh spread it on me, babe.
Feels so good, on the top.
Spread it around, baby, till I drop ya.
Homemade love, hot jelly roll love.
Homemade love.
Oh, baby, oh baby,
I know you love it.
Homemade love, oh, baby.
I know you love it.
So love it.
Oh, homemade love, hot jelly roll love.
Homemade love.
Homemade love, hot jelly roll love.
Homemade love.
Oh, baby, baby, baby
Homemade love, hot jelly roll love.
Homemade love.
Oo, smokin,
Oo, baby, youre burnin
Oo, baby, its boilin, ah.
song performed by by Journey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pjb
im a purple jelly bean
in a purple spiange pie
i like mash patato
and gravy on the side
i like cucumber
and i like pepperd stake
but most of all
...
i like cake
poem by Sammyjo Lubke
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Hoodoo / Voodoo Medicine Man
Silence, I'm ashamed, I was left as a child
Dragged from the cradle, I was weaned in the wild
Ran with the wolf pack, flesh torn to shreds
In the compensations, I was left there for dead
Read it in the paper it ain't fair
You know who today don't seem to care
Livin', lovin', gettin' loose
Masturbatin' with a noose
Now someone's kickin' out the chair
Some kind of voodoo
Come across this land
Some kind of voodoo
Be the medicine man
Everybody's lookin' at the sky
Don't believe the cover-ups and lies
They been tellin' us since birth
Pissin' off old Mother Earth
My gones are bygones prophesied
Some kind of voodoo
Come across this land
Some kind of hoodoo
Be the medicine man
Get ready
Wonder should I go or should I stay
'Cause what we got ain't workin' anyway
I did my best, God knows I tried
I feel like I been crucified
Why did you, why did you, why did you take it all away
Voodoo, hoodoo, medicine man
Voodoo, hoodoo, medicine man
Voodoo, hoodoo, medicine man
Voodoo, hoodoo, medicine man
Voodoo, hoodoo, medicine man
Voodoo, hoodoo, medicine man
Voodoo, hoodoo, medicine man
Voodoo, hoodoo, medicine man
Voodoo, hoodoo, medicine man
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Don't Fear The Stalker
Real estate has come
Here but now they're gone
Jason doesn't fear the reaper
Nor do Eli, Alex or Taylor
We should be like they are
Come on baby...Don't fear the stalker
Baby take my camera...Don't fear the stalker
We'll be able to walk...Don't fear the stalker
Baby I have your camera
The cake is done
flies came and ate it but now their gone
Jay and Brett
Are together in eternity
Jason's coming every day...watching Jay and Brett
Eli's coming everyday... rebake the cake
Taylor's coming everyday...to watch TLC
Come on baby...Don't fear the stalker
Baby take my camera...Don't fear the stalker
Watching you everywhere...Don't fear the stalker
Watching you forever
The police had come
Here but now they're gone
Came last night of therapy
And it was clear she couldn't walk
The door was open and the cat appeared
The camera flashed and then disappeared
The curtain blew and he appeared
Saying don't be afraid
Come on baby...then she got off the wheelchair
And then she tripped and fell on him
Then they started to walk out the door
They went forward and said good bye
She had become like they are
She had taken his camera
Then took a picture of them
She had melted his heart of ice
She had taken the cake
She had become like they are
Come on baby...Don't fear the stalker
...Don't fear the stalker
poem by Lilith Rose Reitenbach
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Wedding Cake-A Song
Now that the night is approaching the midnight
I hear the pounding sounds on the window panes
Not able to sleep I look out the windows to see
if you are there somewhere
but you are already long gone
only the wedding cake I see
Wonder who left the wedding cake...?
O I am going away, oh my sad love...!
After this night's over,
I am going to someone I don't want
With tears in my eyes,
I am going to someone who is not you
After this night's over,
I am going to someone I don't love
Please let me see your face one more time
for the last time, love!
I hear the merciless dawn church bell tolls from afar
that don't know my heart aches
Wondering if you are there somewhere
I look out the windows
but you are already long gone no where to be found.
I keep shedding my tears looking at the left wedding cake
I keep shedding my tears looking at the left wedding cake
OOOh- OOOh ~OOOh ~OOOh~ OOOh~ OOOh~ OOOh~
poem by Sangnam Nam
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Bellas Birthday Cake
Bellas birthday cake
Bella played the bridge every second loneliest night of the year
Took a certain liking to a fellow there - bella
She said I brought her back to some old better man - fellah
Bella she was born today feeling kinda spry
Bellas birthday cake was burning
Like lightning, like fire
Bellas birthday cake was burning...
Bella made her bed in red every loneliest night of the year
Tied me to the rages of her rocking chair - bella
Fed me quiet offer through her ever wares - Ill tell ya
Bella she was born today feeling kinda spry
Bellas birthday cake was burning
Like lightning, like fire
Bellas birthday cake was burning
Ever yearning forest fire
And all of her lines she left unread
Spirits and battles won, she said
And over her mountian tops she ground me off
Where...i cant remember...
Bella played the bridge on the second loneliest night of the year
Bella she was born today...
Bellas birthday cake was burning
Bellas birthday cake was burning
Bellas birthday cake was burning
Bellas birthday cake was burning...50 years gone.
song performed by by Five For Fighting
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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