Jabed Meeker, Humorist
Twain? Oh, yes, I’ve heard Mark Twain
Heard him down to Pleasant Plain;
Funny? Yes, I guess so. Folks
Seemed to laugh loud at his jokes—
Laughed to beat the band; but I
Couldn’t rightly make out why.
Guess his humor ain’t refined.
Quite enough to suit my mind.
Mark’s all right—right clever speaker—
But he can’t touch Jabed Meeker;
And one thing that makes it queer
Is that Jabed lives right here.
You ain’t met him? Son, you’ve missed
The most funniest humorist
I’ve met with in my born days—
Funniest talker, anyways,
When it comes to repartee—
That’s the humor catches me!
Like a specimen? Huh! Well,
Take, for instance, his umbrell;
Wouldn’t think, until he spoke,
He could turn that to a joke;
Mark Twain couldn’t, bet you that!
That’s where Meeker beats Mark flat!
Just imagine three or four
Fellers in Jim Beemer’s store—
‘Long comes Meeker, and some feller
Says, 'See Meeker’s bum umbreller.'
Quick as lightning Meeker ‘d yell:
'Don’t you guy my bumberell!
Where’s the feller dares to hoot
At this sping-spang bumbershoot?
Show me some one dares to call
Bad names at my bumbersoll!'
Right like that! Right off the reel!
Say, you’d ought to heard us squeal!
Then, before we’d got our breath,
Meeker, solemn sad as death,
Says: 'Stand up there ‘gainst that wall,
Para-bumber-shooter-soll!'
Twain? All right! But just give me
Some one slick at repartee!
poem by Ellis Parker Butler
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Last Farewell
Last night we kissed hands goodbye,
never dreaming that it was forever.
Unsuspecting that you, my dear child,
soon would lie cold and still neath the heather.
The graceless Sun thoughtlessly shines
I would eclipse it forever.
The death I prepared for was mine,
but God twists the knife and is clever.
First your sister, thirteen summers ago
Then, soon after, I lost your dear Mother.
Now you, daughter- taken from me.
There's no chance this old man can recover.
The comet that shone at my birth
Will soon light its way through the heavens
I beg that it bears me away-
lets me stop being Samuel Clemmens.
(This poem is about the death of Mark Twain's daughter, who died on 12/24/1909. The speaker is Mark Twain. (Samuel L. Clemmens) He died four months later as Halley's comet lite the night sky. He was born during one visit of the comet and died upon its return.
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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.
Mark Twain in Is Shakespeare Dead?
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I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
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Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
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The morns are meeker than they were
12
The morns are meeker than they were—
The nuts are getting brown—
The berry's cheek is plumper—
The Rose is out of town.
The Maple wears a gayer scarf—
The field a scarlet gown—
Lest I should be old fashioned
I'll put a trinket on.
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The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
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The trouble isn't that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn't distributed right.
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I was born modest. Not all over, but in spots.
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The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
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One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
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Sonnet to Isa Sleeping
As graceful as the Babylonian willow
Bending, at noontide, over some clear stream
In Palestine, in beauty did she seem
Upon the cygnet-down of her soft pillow;
And now her breast heaved like some gentle billow
Swayed by the presence of the full round moon
Voluptuous as the summer South at noon
Her cheeks as rosy as the radiant dawn
When heaven is cloudless! When she breated, the air
Around was perfume! Timid as the fawn,
And meeker than the dove, her soft words were
Like gentle music heard at night, when all
Around is still until the soul of care
Was soothed, as noontide by some waterfall.
poem by Thomas Holley Chivers from The Lost Pleiad (1854)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Thats What Living Is To Me
Thats what living is to me
By: jimmy buffett
1988
I would like to thank j.d. souther for the book, harry belafonte for the early inspiration and mark twain for taking the trip long ago.
-- spoken:
Back toward the turn of the century, you know, mark twain took a trip around the world on a steamship and he wrote a book called following the equator. and the opening page has a dedicat
Hat says, be good, and you will be lonesome, which for me, still seems to work in the fabulous eighties.
Jason mason hears the sound
The whistle blows in congo town
And the mail boats in, mail boats in
Brings him things from oh so far
Old magazines and snicker bars
A simple man, a simple plan
The worlds too big to understand
Chorus:
Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
Thats what livin is to me
Thats what livin is to me
On a timeless beach in hispaniola
Young girl sips a diet cola
Shes worlds apart, worlds apart
Spirit of the black king still
Reverberates through haitian hills
He rules the sea and all the fish
What if he had a tv dish?
Chorus:
Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
Thats what livin is to me
Thats what livin is to me
Now in the far off regions the foreign legion
Keep the thieves and the predators at bay
While closer to home some bad boys still roam
The streets arent safe so give it one more day
One more day
One more day
Stories from my favorite books
Still take on many different looks
And Im gone again, home again
The time has come the walrus said
And little oysters hide their head
My twain of thought is loosely bound
I guess its time to mark this down
Chorus:
Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
Thats what livin is to me
Thats what livin is to me
Thats what livin is to me
Thats what livin is to me
-- spoken:
Thank you, mark.
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
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Those who have heard me speak from time to time know that quite often I cite the observation of that great American author, Mark Twain, who said, history does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
quote by J.D. Hayworth
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