Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
quote by Sophia Loren
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Related quotes
The Vacuum
The house is so quiet now
The vacuum cleaner sulks in the corner closet,
Its bag limp as a stopped lung, its mouth
Grinning into the floor, maybe at my
Slovenly life, my dog-dead youth.
I’ve lived this way long enough,
But when my old woman died her soul
Went into that vacuum cleaner, and I can’t bear
To see the bag swell like a belly, eating the dust
And the woolen mice, and begin to howl
Because there is old filth everywhere
She used to crawl, in the corner and under the stair.
I know now how life is cheap as dirt,
And still the hungry, angry heart
Hangs on and howls, biting at air.
poem by Howard Nemerov
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dolly and the Salesman
There's a salesperson at the door
someone said
and so you went to the door
and there was the young salesman
with a book in his hand
and in a sharp grey suit
and hair neat and short cut
yes?
you said
I represent Carson's stores
and it has been brought
to my notice
that you are behind
with your payments
is that so?
you said
yes
the young guy said
three months behind
and if you don't pay today
the item you have chosen to buy
will be removed
is that so?
you said
the young guy looked
into his book of figures
and script
so you called out
Dolly there's a young guy here
who says we owe him money
you both waited
while Dolly came to the door
what do we owe?
she asked
money
the young guy said
what for?
Dolly said
a vacuum cleaner
the young guy said
you are three months behind
now if you do not pay up today
it will be removed
Dolly raised her eyebrows
and put on her
don't mess with me face
and went off
the young guy
and you looked
at each other in silence
after a few minutes
Dolly returned
carrying the vacuum cleaner
here
she said
here's your darn Hoover
take the thing
and go stick it
where the sun
don't shine
and so the young man
held up the vacuum cleaner
and looked at you
and Dolly
and said
right don't come back
to the store
because you won't
be served again
and off he went
out along the road
in the falling black rain.
poem by Terry Collett
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.
quote by John Barrymore
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A bore is a vacuum cleaner of society, sucking up everything and giving nothing. Bores are always eager to be seen talking to you.
quote by Elsa Maxwell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, offers more entertainment than the TV set.
quote by Harriet Van Horne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, seems to offer more entertainment possibilities than the television set.
quote by Harriet Van Horne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rainbow Spaghetti
One day mother said to me,
'What do you want to eat? '
I answered back to her,
'Rainbow spaghetti'
So my mother waited for the rain
And went outside with her boots
She grabbed the rainbow in a puddle
And walked back inside
She cooked some spaghetti
And told me to stir the rainbow
So I put the rainbow in a bowl
And stirred it with a spoon
Mother took the rainbow
And poured it over the spaghetti
She gave it to me to eat
With a fork and a spoon
I ate it
And chewed it
And slurped it
And swallowed it
'How does it taste? '
Mother asked me
I answered back to her
'It tastes like spaghetti'
poem by Tessa Marshall
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A New Light
if you call it
death
no one, no one
likes to grab
it.
pretend that
it is a
beginning
only to float
and
still not accept
that you
have ended
there is no
choice
actually
a strong ray
of light
absorbs you
sucks you
like a vacuum cleaner
and
poooo! you're out
you're in.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Demon Cleaner Performed Live
I've got the demons within
I've got to brush them all away
I feel the demon's rage
I must clean them all away
Yeah, yeah...
Excite to scream them away
Cobwebs in the way
That magic cleaner oh
Shine his smile on me
Yeah, yeah...
I am the demon
Cleaner who saves the day
I get the backwall
And important they'll always stay
Yeah, yeah...
If only one thing that you know
Imposters from the show
They'll try to trick you into
Normal treatment
Oh don't you listen to them say
Shush them all away
I am the demon cleaner
Madman so
I am the freedom cleaner
Standing naked here to say
I'm the only way...
song performed by by Tool
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Silly; Old Age; Marriage: Who Put The Vacuum Cleaner Away?
I biked to Radio Road yesterday while my wife vacuumed house.
When I got back she was at computer, .....quiet as a mouse.
I did a little chore or two outside before starting late day routine.
I read to my wife as she fixed the evening meal. I'm sure the house was clean.
Sometimes when she vacuums, I find the vacuum left in my way.
Then, if she's finished, I help..... by putting it in its place. Hey!
Yesterday I found no vacuum left about. My wife is getting better.
The progress of my feet (through our house) no vacuum cord did fetter.
So it was a minor shock to me what my wife said this morning.
[ It wasn't a world-shaking statement, but I had no real warning.]
She said 'thank you for putting vacuum cleaner away.' Something like that at least.
It was nothing I expected to hear from her....at our late morning feast.
[Our conversation then went something like this; I will paraphrase.]
He: 'no I didn't put it away sweetheart. Are you in a daze? '
She: 'no I'm not in a daze my dear. I'd not store it that way.'
He: 'wife, I'm not kidding you. If I'd done it I would say.'
She: 'I don't put it under the seat that way. I'd have left it neater.'
He: 'I'll challenge you to a senility test.' [I think that I could beat her.]
She: 'I'm really worried about you Bri. Who will care for you? '
Don't you remember putting it away? Please Bri, tell me true.
He: I'm telling you the truth dear wife. Why would I lie to you? '
Ok, sometimes I'm forgetful, but at times you are too.'
She: I did not put it away. I would not leave the lace on the seat askew.'
He: 'I love you dear wife. Maybe I did do it....., but I think you did....I do.'
poem by Bri Edwards
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Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1000 of something is too many. I'll have 1000 pieces of noodles.
quote by Mitch Hedberg
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Culinary choice
He was a lover of meat
and she was a lover of veg'
so between them it was a treat
to dine on spaghetti instead.
They'd suck and they'd slurp
and they'd dribble,
spaghetti was so hard to nibble
but low and behold
the sauce made a glow
all over their chins
and the table.
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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There was a time
when a filled up space of sorrow
a jigsaw of mixed emotions
cried for emptiness
more tolerable than pain
but nothing is...just that
nothing
horrifying vacuum space
which is why
some people choose...pain
and when they get too much of it
some people choose...vacuum
pain...vacuum...pain...vacuum
there is a time for a smile as well?
poem by Miroslava Odalovic
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My dogs
bark at the neighbors,
bark at the UPS man,
bark at cars
and kids on bicycles.
they bark at the television,
the radio
and the stereo.
they bark at
the vacuum cleaner,
the dust mop
and the broom.
they bark at
anyone
who enters the house
uninvited.
and
when they’re not barking,
they’re sitting there
waiting
for something
to bark at.
good dogs.
poem by John Yamrus
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In The Middle Of The Busy Hour
there is always a space
between all
these pressures
an opening
a vent
where you rise up
and breathe
you love air
but you miss the vacuum
where you fit
and satisfy your lust for
verisimilitude
no word
no words
in here we do things
without words
breathe: exhale inhale
live life
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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331
what is it that the vacuum cleaner
takes from you?
dust and dirt and scattered pieces
on the floor
in your room and in your kitchen
from the carpets
and what is that the cotton takes too?
or the sponge? or the rags?
they will take in water, moisture,
and stains
from the walls
and your ears
and what does my heart take from you?
it will take your gaze
your smiles
your breaths and your whispers and your kisses
and your warm memories
it will take even your rivers
your sea
your world your universe
the stars and the moon
even your suns
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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327
what is it that the vacuum cleaner
takes from you? dust and dirt and scattered pieces
on the floor
in your room and in your kitchen
from the carpets
and what is that the cotton takes too?
or the sponge? or the rags?
they will take in water, moisture,
and stains
from the walls
and your ears
and what does my heart take from you?
it will take your gaze
your smiles
your breaths and your whispers and your kisses
and your warm memories
it will take even your rivers
your sea
your world your universe
the stars and the moon
even your suns
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Vacuum Cleaner And The Cotton
what is it that the vacuum cleaner
takes from you? dust and dirt and scattered pieces
on the floor
in your room and in your kitchen
from the carpets
and what is that the cotton takes too?
or the sponge? or the rags?
they will take in water, moisture,
and stains
from the walls
and your ears
and what does my heart take from you?
it will take your gaze
your smiles
your breaths and your whispers and your kisses
and your warm memories
it will take even your rivers
your sea
your world your universe
the stars and the moon
even your suns
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Inhale
He said:
I am a
Cigarette
For you.
Don't inhale me.
You'll get addicted.
I said:
Be
Aromatherapy
For me.
Let me
Inhale you
And get
Rejuvenated.
poem by Aparna Chatterjee
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Eaten Alive
(b. gibb/m. gibb/m. jackson)
Animal stalking you at night
Im a sucker for someone
And I got the prey in sight
Lying on a bed of leaves
In the modern times
You forget and let your spirit breathe
Capture me my blood is red
Another victim of your ritual
For you my skin is shed
Ecstacy aint what you find
In the modern world
One flick of my tongue changes
The meaning of the world
And you say
Thats impossible
Thats not impossible to do, oh
And you digest what I can see
The taste of you can be
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cause youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
To be eaten alive
Eaten alive
I dont ever wanna be
Eaten alive
Now I got you on the run
And the quicker my senses
And the chance is, Im the faster one
I know the universal law
Primeval times
With a little stimulation
Itll come once more, and you say
Thats impossible
Its not impossible to do, oh
And you digest what I can see
The taste of you can be
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cause youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust
You see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
To be eaten alive
Eaten alive
I dont ever wanna be
Eaten alive
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cause youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust
You see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
To be eaten alive
Tie me to a tree, crawl all over me
You can rip my shirt, drag me in the dirt
I will be your slave, anything you say
I dont ever wanna be eaten alive
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cos youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cos youre so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
cos youre dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I dont wanna get eaten alive
To be eaten alive
Gotta do her, crawl all over me
You can rip my shirt, drag me in the dirt
I will be your slave, anything you say
I dont ever wanna be, eaten alive
song performed by by Diana Ross
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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