Sonnet- the Condom
Thanks to the latex-sheath that man has made!
His sex remains safer, quite natural;
But human STD’s can never fade;
Condoms are messy, costly and mural.
Through circumcision, man removes ‘fore-skin’!
And mutilates the female genitals!
And machines vend condoms to kith and kin;
As though it can protect all guys and gals.
Is not the condom unphysiological?
And youngsters blow it up like a balloon!
Who cares if it gives way, illogical?
Man says ’tis not a bane; it is a boon.
The latex sheath has helped adultery;
And keeps the fleshy trade going merry!
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Sonnet: On the Condom
O sheath divine, of latex- Thou art great!
In serving mankind in these awful days;
Praise-worthy is thy sexual use till date;
Thou aidst both males and females in love’s ways!
What tons of sperms, thou must have prevented!
And helped all ages sense Cupid, Venus;
The STD pandemic, thou curtailed;
And made sex safer, blissful, without fuss.
Thine service to sex-workers knows no words;
Preventing much unwanted human birth;
Alas, mis-guided ones behave like herds!
Unnatural, perverted sex has gained girth.
Thro’ thee, the population-clock is slack;
Adultery, God’s anger are now back!
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
quote by Phyllis Diller
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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An Argument
IT is like our guns.
We do not need it
to kill,
killing is not at all times
illegal,
self-defense for instance
our way of defending ourselves
from the assassins
the hired killers and the
mercenaries of
modern times,
the law on divorce for
instance
who likes a divorce?
you do not marry only
to think that
you have to be separated
from the one you love
someday
but there comes a time
when you need it
and you cannot use it
because it
is not there
and you will regret
not allowing it in the system
just like a condom
who likes a condom?
it is a wall between us
our flesh not touching
each other
but there are times
when you need it
because there is that need
and you have to be safe
who needs guns, condoms,
divorce?
it a matter of choice
so bring them in,
let the man in his wisdom
choose
let him be responsible
there is nothing human more
than us
who can deny
the options available in this world
it is fair
make all these available
so when you need them
you can avail of
them
let the options be myriad
for in all these activities of choices
or choosing
we become more
human
and even more divine
in what we really want to become....
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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A virgin in first night.
The petals of the flower have crinkled.
The crest of the apple has slanted,
Its peduncle having relaxed.
There’re cuts littered on fleshy stem.
The burrow was bored to bring a stream
of sap.
The cortex was torn, latex oozing.
Not that a tree is in destruction
but that a virgin is in consummation.
25.05.2001, Pmdi
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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What's A Moral Standard?
I thought I told you no more TV,
Until you finished your homework.
'What's a moral standard,
Valued and maintained...
As a focus of our principles? '
Turn that off!
And do as I say.
'You said you did not want me to watch,
Violence and corruption.
Or channels that exposed sexual overtones.'
Nor do I want you to watch debating politicians.
There is enough crime and decadence,
Exposed to you children as it is.
Now...
Turn that off and do as I say.
'Do you and dad use condoms? '
WHAT?
'Do you and dad use condoms?
I have to write an essay on it! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Natural
The vibrator
Told the dildo
Not to mess
Around with
Natural sex.
The dildo
Retorted:
Who are you
To tell me?
Don't you also
Mess around
With natural
Sex?
And anyway,
In this age of
Condoms,
Silicones,
And botoxes,
Do you think
People know
How to have
Natural sex?
So, stop
Preaching me
About hindering
Natural sex!
At least,
Thanks to me,
People are having
Lotsa online
Porno sex ;)
poem by Aparna Chatterjee
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Campaign Song
Boom boom boom
Boon boon boon
Bane bane bane
Your campaign song
Is too loud, bane
I am riding on boon
Good and fine days
Ignorant of intended ways
Boom your campaign song
It was too loud, bane
I barely could manage
To hear your message
I voted for the other candidate
Your Boom song was too loud
It was good in our ears in June
But you sang it till December
That even kids should remember
I choose otherwise, voted you out
Is Campaign song bane or boon?
poem by Benjamin Paa Willie
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Electric Barbarella
(lebon, rhodes, cuccurullo)
I knew when I first saw you
On the showroom floor
You were made for me
I took you home
And dressed you up in polyester
Princess of my dreams
Emotionless and cold as ice
All of the things I like
The way you look
The way you move
The sounds youre makin
In ultrachrome, latex and steel
I plug you in
Dim the lights
Electric barbarella
Your perfect skin
Plastic kiss
Electric barbarella
Try to resist
Then we touch,
Hallucinate and tranquilize
(shes so fine)
(shes all mine)
Our private life is subject to investigation
No time to waste
People say they heard about our deviation
But you never looked so good
Wear the fake fur and fake pearls for me
And put on your mystery
The way I feel you know
I never keep you waiting
In ultrachrome, latex and steel
(chorus)
Princess of my dreams
Princess of my dreams
Majordomo plasticomo barbarella
(shes so fine)
Progenetic you electric barbarella
(shes all mine)
My pretty pretty
Pretty pretty
Barbarella
song performed by by Duran Duran
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sorry, But There Is No Condom In My Pocket
so sorry, about last night
i didn't have a pink condom
in my pocket. I know pink
is your favorite, and your
flavor is strawberry and
your lipstick is as red as
what i can offer you. But
i don't go for what is safe.
Oh, you must know the
dangers that we are into.
Without condoms included.
I got this ring, you lose yours.
My wife is very understanding.
And we keep on talking that
No one will know, that his is
the best secret place in town.
I drive the red car to hell.
You think that this is heaven.
We eat fire. We excrete guilt.
When will be the next trip?
I am sorry, there is none.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Some scientists use TeX or LatEX but for most people Word is the thing that writers use these days.
quote by Miguel de Icaza
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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God Doesnt Like Her Name!
god doesnt like her name...
capital letters nonwithstanding!
and the holy scriptures
we've hung around her neck,
nothing but broken shoelaces!
wars fought in her name,
used condoms cast to the side.
tainted morality in her image,
burns like old photos on the fire.
she's not buying it!
bird nests made of straw,
human nests made of concepts.
love itself doesnt wear clothes,
cant be spoken...
it must be lived!
poem by Eric Cockrell
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I guess I had it made. My mother gave me advice - she taught me that women like to be looked in the eye - and my grandmother gave me condoms.
quote by Usher Raymond
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm Just So Sorry But No One Cares About You(Revised In Line Form)
No one cares.
I'm just so sorry but no one cares about you.
No reason to get upset.
Do your own thing as you always do.
Let the time fade.
Follow the suns escape.
Take me somewhere, anywhere but here.
Like a ghost I just want to disappear.
It removes all fear.
Preparing for another sacrifice.
Such is life.
No one cares.
I'm just so sorry, but no one cares about you.
Marching to my own rhythm.
Lead or follow.
Where do you go when the heart becomes so hollow?
How do you fill the void?
Are you feeling a little paranoid?
Trust no one.
All because no one cares.
I'm just so sorry, but no cares about you.
All alone,
Naked and full of shame.
Who's really to blame?
Do you admit the fault as your own?
Or do you mention someones name and complain?
Are you insane?
Completely mad.
A mad hatter off his rocker just a little bit.
All because no one cares.
I'm just so sorry but no one cares about you.
Oh about you.
It's always about you.
No such thing as a selfless act.
This is a fact.
Nothing for free.
This is a favor that can be later be redeemed! ! !
All because no one cares,
I'm just so sorry but no one cares about you.
poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
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If they have covered your face with latex, you have to control yourself mentally so you won't think. If you start thinking, you will succumb to panic. I had a bit of a cold, and frankly I didn't have a good time.
Lay His Sword By His Side
Lay his sword by his side -- it hath served him too well
Not to rest near his pillow below;
To the last moment true, from his hand ere it fell,
Its point was still turn'd to a flying foe.
Fellow-labourers in life, let them slumber in death,
Side by side, as becomes the reposing brave --
That sword which he loved still unbroke in its sheath,
And himself unsubdued in his grave.
Yet pause -- for, in fancy, a still voice I hear,
As if breathed from his brave heart's remains; --
Faint echo of that which, in Slavery's ear,
Once sounded the war-word, "Burst your chains."
And it cries, from the grave where the hero lies deep,
"Though the day of your Chieftain for ever hath set,
Oh leave not his sword thus inglorious to sleep --
It hath victory's life in it yet!
"Should some alien, unworthy such weapon to wield,
Dare to touch thee, my own gallant sword,
Then rest in thy sheath, like a talisman seal'd,
Or return to the grave of thy chainless lord.
But, if grasp'd by a hand that hath learn'd the proud use
Of a falchion, like thee, on the battle-plain,
Then, at Liberty's summons, like lightning let loose,
Leap forth from thy dark sheath again!"
poem by Thomas Moore
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Lies About Tall Guys
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys seem to get executive jobs
Shorter guys work mostly as clerks
Taller guys never seem to be slobs
Shorter guys always seem to be jerks
Taller guys seem to get all of the action
Shorter guys seem to be quite invisible
Taller guys always seem to deserve satisfaction
Shorter guys are lonely and miserable
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys just seem born to play sports
Shorter guys kinda seem to like tennis
Taller guys certainly look better in shorts
Shorter guys look like Dennis the Menace
Taller guys are usually at the top of their class
Shorter guys seem to fail quite a lot
Taller guys always seem to kick ass
Shorter guys want to, but simply cannot
sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys get better grades and such
Shorter guys seem to barely scrape by
Taller guys seem to do better, pretty much
Shorter guys always wonder why
Taller guys seem to have eyes like a hawk
Shorter guys seem to wear glasses a lot
Taller guys cover more ground when they walk
Shorter guys, to keep up, have to trot
Sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys and their friends look like N.B.A players
Shorter guys look more like cheerleaders
Taller guys seem to look like dragon slayers
Shorter guys look a lot more like bleeders
Taller guys seem to have more gear to protect
Shorter guys wear more protective gear
Taller guys, more confidence seem to project
Shorter guys have less confidence, more fear
Really seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys appeal to the female gender
Shorter guys always seem to choke
Taller guys carry a lot more legal tender
Shorter guys always seem to be broke
Taller guys seem to drive high dollar cars
Shorter guys drive toyotas
Taller guys seem to reach for the stars
Shorter guys reach for diet sodas
Taller guys are obnoxious, let’s neuter them all
Shorter guys are great people, always a delight
Taller guys are an abomination against mother nature’s law
If you think I’m a short guy….well, you’re right!
Really seems like the way it should be
poem by David Whalen
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Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.
Lead Balloon
Kiss my ass! I said
And I threw my drink
Tequila trickling
Down his business suit
Must be the irish blood
Fight before you think
Turn it now
You cant cowtow
You cant undo it
Its his town
And that went down
Like a lead balloon
Lead lead lead lead balloon
He said sic her, rover
That went over
Like a lead balloon
Lead lead lead lead balloon
Lead balloon
An angry man is just an angry man
But an angry woman
Bitch!
I had to ask him for a helping hand
It came with the heart
Of a bonaparte
Of a frozen fish
Its his town
And that went down
Like a lead balloon
Lead lead lead lead balloon
He said sic her, rover
That went over
Like a lead balloon
Lead lead lead lead balloon
Lead balloon
Lead balloon, lead lead lead lead balloon
Lead balloon, lead lead lead lead balloon
Lead balloon, lead lead lead lead balloon
Lead balloon
Its his town
And that went down
Like a lead balloon
Lead lead lead balloon
He said sic her, rover
That went over
Like a lead balloon
Lead lead lead lead balloon
Lead balloon
Lead lead lead lead balloon
Lead lead lead lead balloon
Lead balloon
song performed by by Joni Mitchell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I forgot my pills, I couldn't have cared less about condoms, all for feverishly wanting to get some!
quote by Gloria Trevi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hope Is An Intervention
hope is an intervention
when Ladies cannot give you the attention-
But flavored condoms are cautious
to something delicious!
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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