Constipation
An urban teacher recently transferred to a rural school
Had complaint of, ‘Inability to pass his stool’.
His wife thought, “Husband may be speaking lie
Let me take him to Freud- City’s sexiest guy.”
Freud boasted, “I can cure this illness in fifty sittings
But since it is an emergency, I will call psychiatrist’s meeting”.
He decided to call psychiatrist all
And they gathered in a big conference hall.
Freud started, “Pt is fixated at phallic stage
And harbors suppressed sex and repressed rage.”
Karl Jung shouted angrily at Sigmund Freud
“You always bring sexuality, Are you Freud or fraud? ”
Then he mocked at Freud, “Do you have brain or bladder
You cannot diagnose even a simple matter”.
Sigmund Freud confessed, “You all know I am sexually perverted
But you also know, personality cannot be reverted.”
Then he added shyly, “Phallus comes in my mind uppermost
When I see pen, pendulum, pillar or post.”
Then Jung added, “It is a simple case of fight
Between a conscious complex and an unconscious archetype.”
Anna Freud said to Jung, “You are speaking in jest
Otherwise go east or west my father is best.”
Alfed Adler said, “I can see with clarity,
It is an obvious case of organ inferiority.”
Maslow interrupted, “Pt has problem in climbing a pyramid
So please give him some push from behind.”
“It is ‘birth trauma’ blurted out ‘A Man in Black’”
When all look on their back, it was Otto Rank.
Adolf Meyer said, “There is no need to guess
It is a simple case of, ‘reaction to life stress’”.
“Basic Anxiety” Karen Horney spoke anxiously
But as usual no one took her seriously.
Briquet guessed, “It is a conversion disorder and secondary gain
There is no pain without gain”
Erickson said- flashing his mobile Ericsson-
“It is a problem of stage transition.”
Heinz Kohut said, “Pt is not getting job satisfaction,
Because he is not getting ‘narcissistic gratification’.”
“It is an adjustment disorder”, spoke SHETH HITESH
Everyone look at him with interest.
Pt said, “You all fool, Don’t loss your cool
I’m not passing stool, because there is no latrine in the school.”
Dr Hitesh C Sheth
27/09/2008
poem by Hitesh Sheth
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Sigmund Freud was a half baked Viennese quack. Our literature, culture, and the the films of Woody Allen would be better today if Freud had never written a word.
quote by Ian Shoales
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We are certainly getting ahead; if I am Moses, then you are Joshua and will take possession of the promised land of psychiatry, which I shall only be able to glimpse from afar.
Sigmund Freud in Letter to Carl Jung (17 January 1909)
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nomenclature
My mother never heard of Freud
and she decided as a little girl
that she would call her husband Dick
no matter what his first name was
and did. He called her Ditty. They
called me Bud, and our generic names
amused my analyst. That must, she said,
explain the crazy times I had in bed
and quoted Freud: "Life is pain."
"What do women want?" and "My
prosthesis does not speak French."
poem by Alan Dugan
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Freud And Marriage
discovering the unconscious
he speaks with authority
mr. sigmund freud
has always told us
that the real problem
of broken marriages
is always
the bed.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Neurosis is the inability to tolerate ambiguity.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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And these two elements are at odds with one another because Freud is utterly adversary to almost all the ways of structuring the human experience found in Western religions. No Western religion can countenance Freud's view of man.
quote by Chaim Potok
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The psychical, whatever its nature may be, is itself unconscious.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The act of birth is the first experience of anxiety, and thus the source and prototype of the affect of anxiety.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The interpretation of dreams is the royal road to a knowledge of the unconscious activities of the mind.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If you can't do it, give up!
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We believe that civilization has been created under the pressure of the exigencies of life at the cost of satisfaction of the instincts.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The conscious mind may be compared to a fountain playing in the sun and falling back into the great subterranean pool of subconscious from which it rises.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Where id was, there ego shall be.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Neurotics complain of their illness, but they make the most of it, and when it comes to talking it away from them they will defend it like a lioness her young.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The goal of all life is death.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To Dr X.
I'm getting a little paranoid
At the way you interpret my dreams,
Accusing me of sexy schemes
With all the cunning of a drunk psychiatrist
Who beats his children
'Cos he never gets kissed.
I'm getting rather annoyed -
You tell me not to smoke but to take my pills -
Is this how you get your thrills?
To hell with you and Sigmund Freud
I'm going out to get pissed! !
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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Everywhere I go I find that a poet has been there before me.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One is very crazy when in love.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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