M: VI: The Lover of Cowardice

Surviving the suffering
That had accompanied the exit
Of early gods,
Despite scorn, satire and pity,
I succeeded in making another
Out of suffering itself.

Having seen my predicament
As the result of bad luck
I was able to maintain my pride.

I did not hate,
Merely resented.


I was not deterred
By being ridiculed, mocked, belittled,
And picked at by someone
In more addicted straits
Than even I,
Or being labelled stupid and bored
By someone good at praise and contempt
But no good at convincing me
Why I should resent a god
Who is a lover of cowardice
And suicide

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Like birth and death

Birth brings happiness.
Parents bring happiness.
Brothers and sisters too.
So do wife and children.
Their exit one by one
Brings you much suffering.
Your death looms with suffering.
Your enemy brings suffering.
Your rivals cause suffering.
Usurpers and thieves too.
So do the wicked and cheats.
Their exit brings happiness.
Accept happiness and suffering
As you accept your birth and death.
02.05.2001, Pmdi

poem by Rm. Shanmugam ChettiarReport problemRelated quotes
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Compassion.....

pity for sure
is an enemy of empathy
it is the lower kind of
this hierarchy of
compassion,

so please
do not ever say
that you pity me
for you do not deserve
to own those words.

compassion is different
as it transforms my suffering
and your
suffering as our
suffering,

as it enhances
our system of
immunity, ...

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Changed Tack

Got home, explained heat in the office
hubby angry, how DARE I disturb his
ambiance, happy atmosphere at home
immediately I tried to change tack-did
not work - I am in the dog-box

Everything I say is wrong – it would have
been bad if I did not know how good it is
for me to suffer – whenever suffering is
going on, I change into the little Calvinist
I was born to be – pain, suffering

Is good for me, I was BORN into suffering –
I convince myself that pain is good, enjoy the
masochism involved – which leads to sadism
how good that is – Machiavelli justified – wait
we were talking about Calvinism

Too late, I have already changed tack…

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L8,2212

There is a door which you open

you enter, and then it closes you
behind you
forever,

there is no force here,
but only volition,

you enter it
with all the warnings,
that the
possibility that it will close forever
has been told to you
over and over
again,

somehow, you do not make it a problem
you like a closed door, and you hate it
when it opens,
you love it when it is closed forever,
the room is nice
there is a certain loveliness
in there,

it has shiny floors,
it has a bright ceiling,
the lights are lovely,
like stars
in an open dark sky

the air is fresh,
the walls are comfortable

who wants to take an exit?

no one.not you.

when the door knows this, it will open
forever,
it decides to open for you
and it will tell you to go out and be
an outsider again and
be gone
for good,

you insist that you own this room now,
that a closed door is not a serious matter
and there is no way that you have to
go out
or be ousted,

the door has a stair with strong hands
and it will drag you out
it will pull your hair and drag your body
like hell

the door has learned its lesson
when the room is not a prison to someone else
there is no use keeping him there forever
for in truth the reason of the door's
existence
is to make you feel the prison and to suffer

and you know your lesson too well
there is no prison to a mind that is an open window
there is no suffering
to a lover of suffering

you see, it takes a little reverse psychology
for closed doors to open
for men to know that suffering is not suffering
at all
when one loves is tripping

when one thinks
otherwise
when one loves whatever happens

when one accepts
the one that is there and not look for something
that is always missing

why go for the unreachable?
why suffer for long?

life is life, and death is death
you are here, grab this here.

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I have decided that suicide is completely out of the question. I refuse to end the suffering of others... No, I must contemplate homicide and end the suffering of one... ME!!!

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The Only Way Now

Some days I just wish.
I could run and hide.
No matter where I go.
Suicide seems my only way.

My life is not worth it.
All this pain and suffering.
I dont want to be here anymore.
The only way is suicide.

Nobody can help me.
I cant fix myself.
Nobody knows the real me.
Suicide is the only way.

I put on this false act.
And slap a smile upon my face.
When really Im dying inside.
The only way is suicide.

All I ever wanted was.
To be loved and accepted.
Just to feel the warth of your love.
But you never loved or accepted me.
Suicide is my only way.

I hate you.
Look at what you did to me.
You broke my heart.
You broke my spirit.
You left me empty inside.
Suicide is the way.

You left me
Hurt angry bitter and twisted.
And becuase of you.
Suicide is my only way

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Sign Your Life Away

Well I heard you sold them America
You said it was built to last
Price is right, the time is now
You said it was going fast
Well I've got my beliefs
And I don't agree with a single word you say
A convincing smile, a twist of truth
You seem to get your way
And they believed you
With every word you said
It always sounded so convincing
As you signed their life away
So tell me what you're thinking
When you lie in your bed
The suffering you've caused
Surely it must go around your head
Well they call you Mr Cover
A predator at heart
A man who's reputation
Was dangerous from the start
You lie and you steal, cheat and you rob
Sold anything you could
You never had a second thought for people that you hurt
And they believed you
With every word you said
It always sounded so convincing
As you signed their life away
So tell me what you're thinking
When you lie in your bed
The suffering you've caused
Surely it must go around your head
It's been so many years
Well you've hurt so many people
As you've singed their lives away
Do you ever spare a moment's thought about the price they have to pay?
And they believed you
With every word you said
It always sounded so convincing
As you signed their life away
So tell me what you're thinking
When you lie in your bed
The suffering you've caused
Surely it must go around your head...

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Only Way Out

Some days I just wish
that I could run and hide
No matter where I go
it seems like the only way out is suicide
My life doesn't seem worth it
all of this pain and suffering
I don't want to be here anymore
the only way out is suicide
Nobody can help me
the only way out is suicide
nobody knows the real me
I put on this person
when I am actually miserable
the only way out is suicide
All I have ever wanted
is to be loved and accepted
however, I have not been.
Because of this, I am empty inside
therefore, suicide is my only answer…

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Suffering

I heard about your happiness
And all the plans that youre involved in
Since youre gone youd be impressed
To know i, too, have been evolving
But I dont think you comprehend
Ive been suffering
Yeah, Ive been suffering
Guess Ill be suffering up around the bend
This love is a cancer in me
I can feel it advancing in me
This fire it is my light in the world
Well, I found me a new friend
Ive been suffering
Yeah, Ive been suffering
Guess Ill be suffering up around the bend
I hung around in a leather bar
They threw me on the cement
Slept all night in my plastic car
Got in an accident
I brushed by you in the supermart
And I had me a touch of whats real
It was real when you crushed me with your steel
Black clouds roll through my mind
Who says anyway these halls are sovereign?
I am a hater of the human kind
So keep away, this hearts not softening
No, I dont think that its the end of this suffering
Yeah, Ive been suffering
Ive been suffering
Ive been suffering
And Ill be suffering up around the bend

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Always Suffering

Let's take a walk
Just you and me
And talk of days gone by
Across the fields
Under the trees
Let's speak of you and I

While the whole world
Was wandering
We walked a steady line
When all our friends
Were wavering
We kept on trying

Now we're always suffering
Already lost
Always suffering
Already lost

Remember when
On summer days
I would sing a lovers son
How you would smile
Shower me with praise
And the sun shined on

Now the rain is falling slow
And the nights grow long
And the train
Cries out so hauntingly
She is gone

Now we're always suffering
Already lost
We're always suffering
Already lost

Please take these flowers
Smell the perfume
Let your soul come alive
Let there be hope
Hope in your heart
That our love may revive

For life is but a chance
On a wind swept hill
And the seeds of love
Are swirling above
Let them be still

But we're always suffering
We're already lost
Always suffering
Already lost

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Complicated Suicide

Another Complicated Suicide,
it all went according to plan.
Another Complicated Suicide,
will be the one that killed me.

The one that i tried to cut myself down,
i belong to heaven.
The one that I will do over again,
I will be gone for good.

Another Complicated Suicide,
another one that failed.
Another Complicated Suicide,
and it is the same old shit.

Tried to cut myself to die,
i guess it is not my time.
Same old trip,
that did not work.

Another Complicated Suicide,
Man, I did not do it right or something.
Another one of my stupid suicide's,
Why am i still alive.

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Lord, I give you all my praise. (To the tune of down at the cross)

O Lord, My God, I give you all my praise
You have cared for me all my days
You have comfort and strengthen me
Lord, I give you all my praise.

Yes, God has been good to me.
God has been so good to me.
Yes, God has been good to me.
Lord, I give you all my praise.

O’ Lord, My God, to you I lift my hand
You will bless me right where I stand
You will guide me along the way
Lord, I give you all my praise.

Yes, God has been good to me.
God has been so good to me.
Yes God has been good to me.
Lord, I give you all my praise.

O Lord My God to you I sing my praise
I surrender and beg for your grace
Please O’ Lord, forgive all my sins.
Lord, I give you all my praise.

Yes, God has been good to me.
God has been so good to me.
Yes God has been good to me.
Lord, I give you all my praise.

O Lord, my God I need your help today
Please send some aid quickly my way
Problems are so bad I can hardly pray
Lord, I give you all my praise.

Yes, God has been good to me.
God has been so good to me.
Yes, God has been good to me.
Lord, I give you all my praise.

O Lord, My God, thanks for all you have done
You have empowered me to overcome
Now, I can claim my battle as won
Lord, I give you all my praise.

Yes God has been good to me.
God has been so good me.
Yes God has been good to me.
Lord, I give you all my praise.

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Poem To A Dying Man

I see you in the synagogue almost each night now-
I have seen so many in the condition you are in now-
The frailty, the thinness, the cough,
The intense concentration required to do the smallest thing,
The great difficulty in small motion-

Like most of them you are a good man
Worked hard all your life
Raised a family
Knew dislocation and suffering
Struggled for survival
Made a new life after the old world collapsed-
A good man-

I see you now
My heart goes out to you-

It’s the human condition after all
Living and dying-
And who am I to do anything about it?

I exchange a few words with you
To not leave you alone with the night
We go our separate ways -

My heart goes out to you
But what am I to do?

This is the human condition
And will happen in one way or other
To all of us-

I hate it-
I hate to see your suffering
But this is what we are
And I can do nothing about it.

A few words in the night
And then gone.

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Suffering is not good for the soul, unless it teaches you to stop suffering.

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Good Luck, Bad Luck

(ed king -mike estes)
I aint the son of the seventh son, black cats wont cross my path
Good luck comes I just watch it run and it sure does run out fast
I wasnt born under no bad sign, but it was friday the 13th
East, west, no, yes
Hot, cold, tell you this
Aint nothin in between
Its either good luck -- Im the last to get it
Bad luck -- Im the first
When its good, aint nothin better
When its bad, aint nothin worse
Well life can be a little hard sometimes, you do what you gotta do
A lot depends on the luck a man has and the cards thats been dealt to you
Id fold this hand if I could or at least take a card or two
I been around
Had my ups and downs
Tell me does it sound little like you
Good luck -- Im the last to get it
Bad luck -- Im the first
When its good, aint nothin better
When its bad, aint nothin worse
Its either good luck -- Im the last to get it
Bad luck -- Im the first
When its good, aint nothin better
When its bad, aint nothin worse
Its either good luck -- Im the last to get it
Bad luck -- Im the first
When its good, aint nothin better
When its bad, aint nothin worse
Good luck, bad luck

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Dont Try Suicide

Words and music by freddie mercury
A-one two three four one
Yeah
Ok
Dont do it dont you try it baby
Dont do that dont dont dont
Dont do that
You got a good thing going now
Dont do it dont do it
Dont
Dont try suicide
Nobodys worth it
Dont try suicide
Nobody cares
Dont try suicide
Youre just gonna hate it
Dont try suicide
Nobody gives a damn
So you think its the easy way out?
Think youre gonna slash your wrists
This time
Baby when you do it all you do is
Get on my tits
Dont do that try try try baby
Dont do that - you got a good thing going now
Dont do it dont do it
Dont
Dont try suicide
Nobodys worth it
Dont try suicide
Nobody cares
Dont try suicide
Youre just gonna hate it
Dont try suicide
Nobody gives a damn
You need help
Look at yourself you need help
You need life
So dont hang yourself
Its ok ok ok ok
You just cant be a prick teaser all of the time
A little bit attention - you got it
Need some affection - you got it
Suicide suicide suicide bid
Suicide suicide suicide bid
Suicide
Dont do it dont do it dont do it babe (yeah)
Dont do it dont do it dont - do it
Yeah
Dont put your neck on the line
Dont drown on me babe
Blow your brains out -
Dont do that (yeah)
Dont do that - you got a good thing going baby
Dont do it (no) dont do it (no) dont
Dont try suicide
Nobodys worth it
Dont try suicide
Nobody cares
Dont try suicide
Youre just gonna hate it
Dont try suicide
Nobody gives - nobody cares
Nobody gives a damn
Ok

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No Good Lover

Hes a no good lover
Baby I tried him out
Hes handsome and he knows how to use it
And he doesnt take a no for an answer
Like a catcher in the rye he nags till you die
His flatter makes you fall
But dont expect to have a ball
Hes a no good lover
Baby Ive tried him out
Hes - na - na - na - na - na
Hes a no good lover
Baby Ive tried him out
Hes - na - na - na - na - na
On the beach youll see him showing off badly
With a golden look he conquers your best friend
And she has to say yes to her new excess
Americas by far the most miserable man
Hes a no good lover
Baby Ive tried him out
Hes - na - na - na - na - na
Hes a no good lover
Baby Ive tried him out
Hes - na - na - na - na - na
Hes a no good lover - na - na...
Hes a no good lover
Baby Ive tried him out
Hes a no...
Hes a no good lover
Baby Ive tried him out
Hes - na - na - na- na - na
Hes a no good lover
Baby Ive tried him out
Hes - na - na - na - na - na

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Hatred Of You

i hate everything about you
i hate everything you do
i hate your voice
i hate your every choice

i hate your hair
i hate the way you stare
i hate your smile
i hate seeing you every once and awhile

i hate your face
i hate your place
i hate your kids
i hate your stupid bids

i hate the way you treat our family
i hate that you think youre like me
i hate how you are so dumb
youre just a stupid bum

i hate your eyes
and i hate all of you stupid lies
i hate you in every way
i just wish you would die every day

i really hate you alot
i just wish you would be forgot
i really hate your attitude
youre always in a bad mood

i hate you all together
i will hate you forever
i wish i never have to see you again
and thats how its always been


didicated to my stupid aunt trudy i want to change my name because of her

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Anatole France

Suffering! We owe to it all that is good in us, all that gives value to life; we owe to it pity, we owe to it courage, we owe to it all the virtues.

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Anatole France

Suffering . We owe to it all that is good in us, all that gives value to life we owe to it pity, we owe to it courage, we owe to it all the virtues.

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