The Selfish Shellfish
Deep in the briny sea
Was a monk fish monastery;
A prayerful variety
Of contemplative piety
From gentle soles to trout,
All swimmingly devout,
Where once a pious oyster
Went strolling ‘round the cloister,
And he was quietly grumbling,
His tummy it was rumbling.
He spied a tasty morsel,
A fellow shark monk's dorsal.
He lopped it with his chopper,
And hid it good and proper.
He'd eat it some time later
With peas and beans and ‘tater.
There's no way he would share it,
His stomach wouldn't bear it.
Meanwhile the poor old shark monk
Swims round and round like he's quite drunk.
To swim quite straight he needs all fins;
He twists and swerves, he dives and spins
Into a crazy cork screw loop;
His fin must be saved from the soup.
The other monks are looking
At what the oyster's cooking.
They see he has the shark fin;
They can't allow this shell fish sin
And since he is a sinner,
They confiscate his dinner,
And sew in back on shark monk's back
So he can get himself on track.
The oyster now is pleading;
Forgiveness he is needing.
He's being quite rambunctious;
He's big and plump and scrumptious,
And so the monks decide his fate
Is to be served up on a plate.
So now they all are wine-ing,
They're dancing and they're dining,
In their monastic cellar
On oyster Rockefeller.
poem by Dennis N. O'Brien
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Related quotes
Desperate Andy
He always holds on to his girlfriend
Thats where he likes to be
He like to wear the ball
And the chain on his neck
A false sense of security
And when he goes he goes with a smile
And when he goes he goes with a smile
And when he goes he goes with a smile
And when he goes he goes with a smile
Desperate andy a-a-a-a
Re la la la la la la
Desperate andy a-a-a-a
Re la la la la la la la la la
The world is your oyster now
You can do as you want to do
The world is your oyster now
So go out and get high
And get whatever you want to
Ma-na-na, ma-na-na,
Ma-na-na, ma-na-na
Ma-na-na, ma-na-na,
Ma-na-na, ma-na-na
He used to be a closet biker they say
A 1957 bsa
He used to collect writing paper
They wonder wonder wonder
Wonder wonder of
Desperate andy a-a-a-a
Ra la la la la la la
Isnt it dandy a-a-a-a
Ra la la la la
Desperate andy a-a-a-a
Ra la la la la la la la la la
The world is your oyster now
You can do as you want to do
The world is your oyster now
So go out and get high
And get whatever you want to
The word is your oyster now
You can do as you want to do
The world is your oyster now
So go out and get laid
And get whatever you want to
The world is your oyster
The world is yours
Its yours its yours
Its yours its yours
Its yours its yours
Its yours its yours
song performed by by Cranberries
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's a Fish's Life
Swim fish, swim! swim for your life!
The fisherman's coming you're tea for his wife!
Swim fish, swim! your fastest yet,
You must swim quickly, to avoid his big net!
Swim fish, swim! right out to sea!
For I am a shark waiting, and you're dinner for ME!
poem by George Howard
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I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The shark who has eaten cannot swim with the shark that is hungry.
Fast As A Shark
Fog in the streets
A church clock beats
Midnight - darkness all around
You better beware
You better take care
Be prepared for the shock
The time has come
And he's the one
Who's breathing down your neck
Coming from behind
Now it's your time
A loser will die
Fast as a shark he'll cut out of the dark
He's a killer - he'll rip out your heart
On a one way track and you're not coming back
Because the killer is on the attack
Surprise attack
Coming from the back
An expert of the deadly knack
Just take care
Just beware
Be prepared for the fight
Fast as a shark he'll cut out of the dark
He's a killer - he'll rip out your heart
On a one way track and you're not coming back
Because the killer is on the attack
Watch out - watch out
Fast as a shark he'll cut out of the dark
He's a killer - he'll rip out your heart
On a one way track and you're not coming back
Because the killer is on the attack
Fast as a shark he'll cut out of the dark
He's a killer - he'll rip out your heart
On a one way track and you're not coming back
Because the killer's
Because the killer's
Because the killer's on the attack
song performed by by Helloween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Oceanic Humour
Oceanic Humour?
Does a sardine play
Hide and seek with another fish
And laugh about it?
Does a lobster joust
With a big Alaska crab
Just for amusement?
Wit on the sea’s floor
Giggling eels on Dogger bank
Slippery gayety?
Can a tiger shark
Tell another shark a story
That has a fun bite?
Are ocean’s beings
As stern as the old Talibans
Who say fun is sin?
poem by Oskar Hansen
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Fishy Tales
Fishy Tales
Do you ever envy Fish in the sea?
Swimming free in their underwater world?
Do ever wonder whether sea horses
Gallop all over the place
Or run a million dollar race like the Melbourne Cup?
Do you ever wonder whether the Moray Eel
Tire of darting and weaving
Amongst the shadowy caverns of their coral stone lair
Hidden from sight by slippery sea weed
Waving their arms amongst the colourful sea anemone
Or whether Sunfish worship the sun
From the depths of the sea
Or simply glide by playing hide and seek
In the mysterious deep
Or follow the trail left my migrating turtles
Or the tit bits that the Remora chases
On the back of a shark
Or whether the Great white shark is really
The merciless predator of the deep
Or simply the opportunist
And whether Fish ever get tired of swimming
Sometimes I wonder!
A monk in his cloister, a fish in the water, a thief in the gallows.
Life Lesson At the Lone Pine Saloon
One night
I watched a pool shark
Take this guy’s entire paycheck
One game at a time
Over the course of
A long evening.
A pool shark will never
Beat you by more than a ball or two.
He doesn’t want to kill your hope.
He wants you to keep playing.
He wants you to think that it was all luck
Next time things will be different.
He wants you to double the bet
And try again.
By the end the looser
Was very drunk
And lacking any money to go on
Stated a fight.
The pool shark picked up
A pool ball and
Calmly, professionally,
Beat the looser
Unconscious.
Clok! Clok! Thud!
That’s why they tell you these stories
These Cinderella stories
They want you to keep trying
Just a bit longer.
There is still a little more
They can get out of you
Before the beating begins.
poem by Allan Thorne
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Oyster Of My Heart
the love in my heart had a strange but long start.
just like an oyster starts off with a grain of sand
and others follow to give a helping hand.
so is the love that i have for you.
that grain of sand found a home where it could start to grow
and slowly it created one of the most beautiful treasures
that the world would get to know.
because it started out very slow.
the home that it was created in was a very hard shell
where it was protected until it grew big and strong
for it knew where it belonged.
and as it was opened by fellow man
there is where it took it's stand.
man opened it slowly with a knife
to protect what he knew he could find
a beauty so precius and so divine.
and with this one pearl of beauty and rarity
he put it with others for the world to see.
that just like an oyster-the love must slowly build
until the strength of it is quiet and still
this is the oyster of my heart of which
you are a very big part.
poem by Louis Rams
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I Can't Realize
I realize buds, flowers and their blooming
in the gardens of earth;
Only I can't realize their falling down from trees.
I realize clouds, rain and the sweet soft sound of its fall;
Only I can't realize the thunder.
Rivers, fields, oceans, forests, hills, mountains—
I realize them all;
Only I can't realize the deserts.
I realize fish, shark, deer and bright striped tiger;
Only I can't realize a shark beside a fish and a tiger
beside a deer.
I realize life,
many turns of life I realize very clearly;
Only the ice-cold death I can't realize any way.
poem by Sayeed Abubakar
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I mention this fact as tending to support what I have often heard stated, namely, that a shark's sense of smell is so keen that, if men ever bathe in seas where they are found, a shark is almost sure to appear directly afterwards.
quote by George Grey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The first jazz pianist I heard was Thelonious Monk. My father was listening to an album of his called 'Monk's Dream' almost every day from the time I was born.
quote by Benny Green
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In Hiding
defense mechanisms.
coping up machines.
lies and deceptions.
covering up. conceal.
a little fish hides under
a big stone on that deep sea
amidst the friendly anemones
a big shark is coming
and the electric eel is taken
exposed, confident, dead.
we hide. There is a reason
for hiding sometimes. For retreats
in the mountains in secret
convents with the nuns. In secret
hideouts with the monks.
In tunnels dug for surrenders
like this. To survive.
when things get rough
and i am not that rough enough for the
roughness that gets going, i choose
to hide underneath a strong
floor, inside a closet, under
a cabinet of folded clothes.
the sense are not too strong
to survive a crash. I hide. I take
cover. I make poems. My poems
are my shelters of the scorching
sun, the heavy rain, the flood and
earhtquakes of my life.
i am shaken. But look, i am in tack.
My bones rattle but unbroken.
The poems are my fortress.
The big shark is coming again.
Let me hide. Under a rock.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Myanmar
NOW, this must be true
for every red monk
that the generals murder
ten cyclones shall come
how many red monks were burned alive?
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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An Old Fisher In The Green
A man, this man, alone in the green,
a little, tiny sand, a speck in the sea.
He used to be a torrent, a veritable blizzard,
ready to weather the storms, this strong fisher.
Then these little fish, to him flocked,
and his heart gave in, collapsed in him, and gave him quite a start.
He took the fish and laid it out, gave it his breath,
and as it looked, its eyes glowed hot, and took from him the rest.
Then it became a fisherman, but one that knew its gift,
it indeed was a fisherman who helped its once-known kin,
what a wondrous man this fish did make, reveling in this skin,
it indeed was a better fisherman who helped its once-known kin.
And so this old fisherman, living on his last breath,
lived only to help the fish he helped, until his last, his death.
His last was given to a fish he deemed demure, a wriggling sickly thing,
he gave it his last, he did, he did, though it remained a fish.
He gave his all, he did, he did, till this fish became enlarged,
yet still not a man did it make, but instead became in charge,
a shark it made, it did, it did, and it hounded out,
till once again, it did, it hid, became the rounder out.
The fishermen were thrown on their guards, this shark was so enlarged,
till all was dust upon the sea, and the old man was set free.
The vision just though may it be,
became but dust upon the sea
till all was dust to dust upon the sea,
and the old man, weak, was at last set free.
poem by Kevin Maroney
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Monastery
A distant building has contained my pleasure,
Having a rich fight with the stress I am an abuser,
The one who fought a dying battle with an assembly
Of brethren, the monks of a building behaving absentmindedly.
This building is distant, the one I want offered on my plate,
It steals the threat of another monk, and how do I accelerate?
This building is a basic block of bricks I call God,
Itself the godly look is a facade much too broad.
I see fit to end my life,
The building is still a monastery, now an afterlife.
poem by Naveed Akram
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Aphrodisiac
Now, listen to me, folks...
Hear what I say.
You got to eat oysters everyday
They'll put your love life back on track
They're nature's own aphrodisiac.
Ohh, ohhh... yes it's true
What a little oyster can do for you.
Ohh, ohhh... ain't it fun
Here's some things them oysters done...
They made Jim Beam
They made Allen Thick
They made Jonathan Swift
And they made Gracie Slick
They made Victor Mature
And they made Tom Petty
They started Willie Waylon
And they got Helen Reddy.
They made Tom Cruise
They made Oscar Wilde
They gave Gary Hart
But they gave Gomer Piles
They made William Hurt
They made Lucille Ball
They made Wilson Picket
And that ain't all.
Ohh, ohhh... yes it's true
What a little oyster can do for you.
Ohh, ohhh... ain't it fun
Here's some more them oysters done.
They made Stevie Wonder
And they made old John Wayne
They made Saul Bellow
And caused Thomas Paine
Turned Clint Black
And turned Barry White
Made Doris' Day
And Gladys' Knight.
They gave Bob Hope
They gave Percy Faith
They made Marvin Gaye
But they made George Straight
They made Bobby's Short
And Lester's Flatt
And hey... they even did more than that.
Ohh, ohhh... yes it's true
What a little oyster can do for you.
Ohh, ohhh... ain't it fun
Here's some more them oysters done.
They got George Bush
They made Bozo a Clown
They got Bobby Bare
And made Ezra Pound
They made Gallo Wine
They made Merle Haggart
They Made Andy Devine
They made Jimmy Swagger
They made Rich Little
And made Hughie Long
They made BB King
And they made Neil's Armstrong
And if you ask my wife,
She'll tell you quite gaily
Best of all they made old Pat Daily.
Ohh, ohhh... yes it's true
What a little oyster can do for you.
Ohh, ohhh... ain't it fun
That's all about oysters
Now we're done.
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Spank It
1-hey sped!
2-hey what?
1- what you wanna do?
2- I wanna spank!
1-spank what?
2- spank my little monk!!
1-to the left
2- to the right!
1&2- spank it up and down all night!
1- spank the monk!
2- spank, spank the monk!
1- spank the monk!
1&2- spank spank, the monk!
song performed by by Eagles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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About Last Night
the boat was small
the glass window is round
like an eyeball
looking out to the
vast sea
it is dark
the black shark is a shadow
inside the dark
blueness of the
night water
there is a storm
a man stands
waiting for what comes next
he must jump
to the water
if needs be
the big eye of the fish
stares at him
with fury
that night
they were eye to eye
and then the fish
passes away
opposite the boat's
direction
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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