The Plot
My class were all slow payers,
And they weren't the best of stayers
When they came along to evening classes
Straight from keeping shop,
So I'd try to entertain them
Though I knew I'd rather brain them,
All I wanted was some input
When their heads began to drop.
'Come on guys and girls, get with it, '
I would clap my hands, 'let's live it! '
'Give me three basic ingredients
You need to build a plot! '
'A beginning, ' said one joker,
'...and an end....' - (I thought I'd choke her!)
But I couldn't get a 'middle' from them,
That was all they'd got!
'You told me you were writers
That you burn the midnight light as
Other people lie there sleeping
While you wield your mighty pens.
You've got 'character' and 'colour'
As you like to tell each other,
But without a plot you haven't got
A story for your friends.'
'All you've given me - Moon Bayers,
And a host of Vampire Slayers
And some Super Hero wielding powers
Not you, nor I have got,
And a princess who's a virgin
With some hanger on, an urchin,
Come on folks! - there's not a virgin
Over fifteen worth a drop! '
'What we need are real people,
Keep it real and keep it simple
From the hair down to the dimple
(That you shouldn't know she's got!)
Use the guy who drives the tanker,
Or the fat and balding Banker
Who's been betting on the Gee Gee's
And is skimming off the top.'
'Or the girl there, in the city
Who's naive, but very pretty
When she meets the married businessman
Who takes her out to lunch,
Then invites her back for 'drinkies'
As he gives his pal the wink, he's
Only working on the plot he's got
To wake, just after brunch.'
I went home and had a brandy,
And I followed with a shandy,
I had always found it handy
To get drunk, right after class,
For this lot would do my head in
Every day I lay there dreading
What I'd teach them about storylines...
I drained another glass!
Then I heard a weird commotion
Like some fool had got the notion
To break in on my devotion while
I sipped my brandy there,
Then he hit me, knocked me silly
When I woke, I noticed Billy
And his dopey girlfriend Philly,
They had tied me to my chair.
They were not the best of students,
He wrote thrillers, she wrote rude ones,
But they didn't have a plot between them,
Much to my despair,
I had teased and hinted, needled,
And at times I even wheedled,
But their minds were blank of any plot
You'd even want to share.
'We're going to keep you tied until
You open up, inside, and fill us
In on where you keep the plots
For every single scene,
You must keep them in a box...
Here Philly, better check his socks,
While I go up and check his jocks,
He's sneaky, watch him 'cos he's mean! '
'You like to think you're writers, '
I had snorted, 'God Almight-us!
Here's a plot as good and tight as
Any plot - but here it stops!
You're the robber, I'm the Baron,
She's the Moll you hang your hat on,
But my wife, whose name is Sharon
Has just gone to call the cops! '
Billy turned, and in his fury
Overturned the writing bureau
I had bought from Madame Curie's
With its secret knobs and drawers,
And my papers from within it
Spilled on out, and in a minute
He had found my little secret,
Every plot I'd ever scored.
I resigned from teaching writers
Claimed amnesia, which despite us
Has persisted quite as tight as
All the stories I forgot,
Billy's on the run with Philly
But I hope they don't get silly,
They will catch them in a jiffy
If they write a single plot.
poem by David Lewis Paget
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Related quotes
I always start with characters rather than with a plot, which many critics would say is very obvious from the lack of plot in my films - although I think they do have plots - but the plot is not of primary importance to me, the characters are.
quote by Jim Jarmusch
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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This means keeping many trails open at once, inevitably requiring a fairly 'parallel' plot. This plot should be discovered rather than announced, so show, don't tell.
quote by Graham Nelson
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You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together. It did have a lot of flashing lights, though.
quote by Terry Prachett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Many Noble Men
Many noble men
Many ignoble men....
have stood back to back
And fought in trenches
For some noble cause
And died like fools
To satisfy the warmongers
Who sit in their comfortable palaces
And plot
And plot
And plot.........
How to fill their coffers
How to expand their tents
How to create a holocaust
That will turn respectable, genteel folk
Into brute beasts and killers;
And without emotion
They send,
Many noble men
Many ignoble men...............
To their untimely death.
poem by Enoch John
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My books are primarily plot driven but the best plot in the world is useless if you don't populate them with characters that readers can care about.
quote by Jeffery Deaver
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The Shining Star Around You
I am the shining star around you,
And like a plot size, '100 x 120' in your neighbourhood;
But, i need a lovely house on this plot to rest my muse,
For, the hatred around us today had led many to war! !
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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The time has mainly gone on getting Inform into a decent shape for public use. I suppose the plot of 'Curses' makes a sequel conceivable when compared with, say, the plot of 'Hamlet' but none is planned.
quote by Graham Nelson
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Visions
( on the limited edition only )
Accepting new ideas is hard
Holding on to the past
Its too easy cant you see
Weve got to move on
Our world is constantly speeding
The stars are still intriguing
The tears in our eyes
Feed happiness for the next miles
These visions make us desperate
Give us hope
The end is always the start of a
New episode
Feel free to interact with the plot
The choice can really mean a lot
Just try to translate this secret code
These prophecies are frightening
Evoke artificial lightning
Watch out cause it can strike you
The remedy is inside you
These visions make us desperate
Give us hope
The end is always the start of a
New episode feel free to interact with the plot
The choice can really mean a lot
Just try to translate this secret code
These visions make us desperate
Give us hope
The end is always the start of a
New episode
Feel free to interact with the plot
Your choice can really mean a lot
Just try to
Just try to
Just try to translate this
song performed by by Hooverphonic
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I Could Write A Book
A b c d e f g
I never learned to spell,
At least not well.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I never learned to count,
A great amount.
But my busy mind is burning to use what learning Ive got,
I wont waste any time,
Ill strike while the iron is hot.
If they asked me, I could write a book
About the way you walk, and whisper, and look.
I could write a preface
On how we met
So the world would never forget.
And the simple secret of the plot
Is just to tell them that I love you a lot.
And the world discovers
As my book ends,
How to make two lovers
Of friends.
And the simple secret of the plot
Is just to tell them that I love you a lot.
And the world discovers
As my book ends,
How to make two lovers
Of friends.
song performed by by Ella Fitzgerald
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Silk-Washing Temple
As the states of Wu and Yue piled plot upon plot,
the silk-washing goddess offered ease;
a pair of laughing dimples turned the prince's head,
and a hundred thousand soldiers let fall their shining spears.
Fan Li, having succeeded, went into retirement;
Wu Xu died for his advice, and his country was wiped out.
And yet, today, by the long river at Zhuji,
there's nothing but a green hill named Zhu Luo.
The play-writes curse
The play-writes curse
~
Give me a stage
and the world to write
give me characters
to fit my plot line
give me time and money
to assemble my script
that I may play with ideas
and work what fits
give me the option
for a sudden plot twist
give me set designers
who understand my mind
and actors to follow
whatever my command
give me wine and ink
that I may drink them both
in all my madness
give me your hope
give me this and a stage
that I may write you a play
but please I beg of you
before you give me anything
give me the opening line
poem by Matthew Holloway
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Bury Me With It
We were shootin' at a mound of dirt.
Well nothing was broken, nothing was hurt.
But I probably really should have been at work.
But if my freetime's gone, would you promise me this?
That you will please bury me with it?
Please bury me with it!
Well sure as planets come, I know that they end.
And if I'm here when that happens, will you promise me this my friend?
Please bury me with it!
I just don't need none of that Mad Max bullshit.
Well the suit got tight and it split at the seams.
But I kept it out of habit and I kept it really clean.
But if it's getting' faded, if it's runnin' outta thread,
Could you just do this for me my friend?
And please just please bury me with it?
Please bury me with it!
Well we moved to the left and moved to the right.
And sure as hell we stayed out almost every single night.
But if the party's over, if the fun has to end,
could you do this for me my friend?
Would you just please bury me with it?
Please bury me with it!
Good news for people who love bad news.
We've lost the plot and we just can't choose.
We are hummingbirds who are just not willing to move.
And there's good news for people who love bad news.
We are hummingbirds who've lost the plot and we will not move.
We have good news for anyone who loves bad news.
We were aiming for the moon. We were shooting at the stars.
But the kids were just shooting at the busses and the cars.
So don't drink the water, don't you breathe the air.
If it's gotten to that point then I have to declare:
That you please bury me with it!
Please bury me with it!
Well fads they come and fads they go.
And God I love that rock and roll!
Well the point was fast but it was too blunt to miss.
Life handed us a paycheck, we said, "We worked harder than this!"
Please bury me with it!
Please bury me with it!
We are hummingbirds who are just not going to move.
And there's good news for people who love bad news.
We are hummingbirds who've lost the plot and we well not move.
We have great news for anyone who loves bad news.
song performed by by Modest Mouse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dig Your Grave
We were shootin' at a mound of dirt.
Well nothing was broken, nothing was hurt.
But I probably really should have been at work.
But if my freetime's gone, would you promise me this?
That you will please bury me with it?
Please bury me with it!
Well sure as planets come, I know that they end.
And if I'm here when that happens, will you promise me this my friend?
Please bury me with it!
I just don't need none of that Mad Max bullshit.
Well the suit got tight and it split at the seams.
But I kept it out of habit and I kept it really clean.
But if it's getting' faded, if it's runnin' outta thread,
Could you just do this for me my friend?
And please just please bury me with it?
Please bury me with it!
Well we moved to the left and moved to the right.
And sure as hell we stayed out almost every single night.
But if the party's over, if the fun has to end,
could you do this for me my friend?
Would you just please bury me with it?
Please bury me with it!
Good news for people who love bad news.
We've lost the plot and we just can't choose.
We are hummingbirds who are just not willing to move.
And there's good news for people who love bad news.
We are hummingbirds who've lost the plot and we will not move.
We have good news for anyone who loves bad news.
We were aiming for the moon. We were shooting at the stars.
But the kids were just shooting at the busses and the cars.
So don't drink the water, don't you breathe the air.
If it's gotten to that point then I have to declare:
That you please bury me with it!
Please bury me with it!
Well fads they come and fads they go.
And God I love that rock and roll!
Well the point was fast but it was too blunt to miss.
Life handed us a paycheck, we said, "We worked harder than this!"
Please bury me with it!
Please bury me with it!
We are hummingbirds who are just not going to move.
And there's good news for people who love bad news.
We are hummingbirds who've lost the plot and we well not move.
We have great news for anyone who loves bad news.
song performed by by Modest Mouse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sestina: Terminataur
Enveloped by the glow of bedside light,
a small child listens spellbound to a plot.
A parent tells a story quite absurd
of cyborgs, birds and dinosaurs, most mean.
A science fiction tale of keen-edged claw
and culminating fast with time machine.
‘A fearsome shrewd reptilian machine
was lurking ‘mid striated cycad light.
His iridescent scaly skin and claw
advising ‘gainst the trespass of his plot.
A grey bird hovered close; what could it mean?
and conversation flowed; now that's absurd'!
‘Tyrannosaurus said, 'You're quite absurd',
'a cyborg bird with so-called time machine',
'and plans which sound both devilish and mean',
'involving death by catastrophic light'.
'You wish to beg my pardon for the plot',
'and ask respectfully to shake my claw'? ! ? ! ? ! '
‘The cyborg bird said, 'Cousin, take my claw',
'I'm your descendent, though it sounds absurd'.
'Our fourth millennium A.D. course is plot',
'whereby we triumph over man machine'.
'I'm here to guide the bird-made meteor light',
'so we can wing ascent; see what I mean'? '
‘Just then a ratty mammal, snide and mean,
who hid within the cycad's curving claw,
quick swiped the heedless bird in dusky light
and thereby foiled cretaceous scheme absurd.
The meteor missed and dinosaur machine
retained its topmost spot, in spite of plot'.
The father closes zany fiction plot
and though his sharp-toothed grin looks wily mean,
he is a loving dinosaur machine.
The sleepy dino-child lets go his claw
and slips into a dreaming world absurd.
He kisses scaly snout and dims the light.
The moral here is both absurd and light.
I mean by this: Beware the bird machine
which may still plot to claim the upper claw.
poem by Diane Hine
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Going mad
going mad
It would appear that I ve gone mad.
I completly lost the plot.
In a world full of hatered and pain.
In a world that is normal to others.
Mine is very insane.
Now I no im mad.
I no Im insane.
I ve lost the plot.
Im going mad its clear to me by the day.
Hearing voices seeing people.
How the hell can one say Im normal?
Amy Kerswell
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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I began to be impressed by what made a good book-how you needed to have a sensible story, a plot that developed, with a beginning, a middle, and an end that would tie everything together.
quote by Dorothy Fields
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Garden
CHOKED with ill weeds my garden lay a-dying,
Hard was the ground, no bud had heart to blow,
Yet shone your smile there, with your soft breath sighing:
'Have patience, for some day the flowers will grow.'
Some weeds you killed, you made a plot and tilled it;
'My plot,' you said, 'rich harvest yet shall give,'
With sun-warmed seeds of hope your dear hands filled it,
With rain-soft tears of pity bade them live.
So, weak among the weeds that had withstood you,
One little pure white flower grew by-and-by;
You could not pluck my flower--alas! how should you?
You sowed the seed, but let the blossom die.
poem by Edith Nesbit
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It was in self-defense, I'm quite sure
In his defense it was said, she would curiously
Spy from the bay windows, like
A latter-day Misses Marple
Everyone was a suspect, every parcel
Became a crime of illicit passion…
This then would be attached to fit a plot
A plot to a perfect crime, day after day
She'd elaborate on her latest new theory.
Protagonist to all that went on…
With these ever increasing, conspiracies
Webbed out from door to neighboring door
Shed' relayed her latest new theories…
Till he her husband, couldn't take no-more!
So he killed her, My Honor, the Jury…
With a Draylon curtain tieback;
It was in self-defense, I'm quite sure.
poem by Mark Heathcote
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Writing is truly a creative art - putting word to a blank piece of paper and ending up with a full-fledged story rife with character and plot.
quote by William Shatner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A novel situation
She looked not unlike the anti-heroine
of her own novels
or was it the other way around?
mousey but together,
neatly dressed
in an understated way
like her Paris dressmaker mother
who'd fled Vienna
Though in fact she was a brilliant bluestocking lecturer
and trenchant critic
who'd embarked, on the side,
on novel writing
However the British
don't like people who do two things well
and the critics - mostly men -
panned her rotten
while the women reserved judgment.
She had a standard plot -
mousey, together spinster
meets possible, quiet Him
who might be The One
but who turns out too morally wet
for Her.
But her increasing sublety with variations to this
and increasing literary skills
won her praise from feminist critics
and even a minor prize.
I had expressed envious admiration for her trenchant criticism
to a colleague; one day
the unsolicited word came:
she had expressed interest in meeting me...
A shared life of letters -
the Sunday papers read in bed -
with her reviews in them -
the flow of sparkling wit -
a shared life of letters -
the plot of all her books the same..
the failed romance,
the material to hand...
the literary world's knowing gossip..
I flunked it
Subsequently,
on Friday afternoons,
I sat opposite her on the bus
from Piccadilly
to her small but dress-maker- neat flat
just off King's Road, Chelsea
bought with the prize-money, I guess
and the increased royalties
(the men still scoffing at her standard plot,
the women admiring her subtlety in describing
the bruised but knowing human heart...)
I knew her face, from in the press;
she didn't know mine.
I sat opposite her on the bus
- neatly dressed, together -
contemplating
in bittersweet incongruity
the novel I never lived
and she never wrote
differently
poem by Michael Shepherd
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