Cricket!
I rose in the dark, felt my way through the room,
We have no en-suite so I groped in the gloom,
The bladder is dicky at my time of life
So I tried to get out without waking the wife.
But outside the door stood a figure I knew
From the Halloween Party the wife had been to,
A monkey, who stood like a simian guard
Holding something quite furry, and rigid and hard!
I said, 'Step aside! I must get to the loo
Or there may be an accident, all over you! '
So he did, with a grunt, and I staggered away
Down the hall to the loo, at the break of the day.
But when I returned he had quite disappeared
And I entered the bedroom to see what I feared,
For there on the bed causing all sorts of strife
He was up to his armpits in Molly, my wife!
I called out - 'Old chap! Now that's not really nice
Coming in from the jungle and bonking my wife! '
He just went on grunting and humping away
As my wife lay there snoring, ignoring the day.
'I know what your name is! ' I said, 'Ken de Groot!
I was there, watched you hiring that old monkey suit!
You're from the same club, you're a first order bat
But I don't think it's cricket what you're playing at! '
The wife kept on snoring, I thought it was strange
With her legs round his neck, like some act, pre-arranged,
But I didn't dare wake her, she might have a fit
If she woke to a monkey just doing his bit!
He got up and left, I was sadly distressed
Though I tried not to show it, she woke up and dressed.
'Is there anything wrong my sweet possum? ' I said,
'Nothing dear... but I dreamt of a monkey in bed! '
The following morning it happened again,
I rushed to the loo as the monkey went in,
I tore off his mask; not de Groot - Eddie Burns!
It seems the whole Cricket Club takes it in turns!
Then day after day it was more like a zoo,
Not just monkeys, but rhino's, and elephants too,
They start before dawn and they line up three deep
While my neighbour's say: 'How d'you expect us to sleep? '
While Molly still slumbers away every morn,
The rhino turns up once a week with his horn,
I knew when I met her she'd always kept pets,
But now she gets checked every week at the vets!
So bowing to fate, I threw open the door
The Cricket Club loves dressing up, I keep score.
I stand by the door - not to watch what they did
But to bolster my pension each day - fifty quid!
5 December 2009
poem by David Lewis Paget
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Feed The Monkey
She likes to feed the monkey
She likes to feed the monkey
She likes to feed the monkey
She likes the monkey
Well gather 'round and let me tell you all a story
About a boy and his monkey
He's got that kind of monkey that the girls wanna know
He likes to take his monkey every place that he goes
(Can we pet your monkey?)
Hey, ho, you see the monkey?
Did you know you made my monkey hungry?
I didn't really know how it get so hungry
I'd like to know
Would you feed the monkey?
Well you can pet my monkey
'Cause my monkey don't bite
But when you pet my monkey
He get funky all night
My monkey ain't no ordinary orangutang
'Cause my monkey likes to do the wild thing
My monkey don't scratch
My monkey don't bite
My monkey don't swing no tree
My monkey don't hit
My monkey don't drool
My monkey be swing with me
My monkey don't freak
My monkey don't trip
My monkey don't wear no cape
But you can tell what my monkey wanna eat
'Cause it turn into a big ol' ape
Yeah...
Hey..
The monkey's getting hungry
Hey, hey, why don't you feed your monkey?
(REPEAT x 3)
What she want?
She wants the monkey
(REPEAT x 3)
You know she want
You know she want
You know she wants the monkey
(REPEAT x 3)
Hey, hey, she likes to feed the monkey
Ooh, she's sayin' it's time to feed the monkey
Everyday she wants to feed the monkey
All through the day she likes to feed the monkey
She likes to feed the monkey
(REPEAT x 7)
Feed the monkey
(REPEAT x 19)
She likes to feed the monkey
song performed by by Infectious Grooves
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shock The Monkey
Shock the monkey to life
Shock the monkey to life
Cover me when I run
Cover me through the fire
Something knocked me out the trees
Now Im on my knees
Cover me, darling please
Monkey, monkey, monkey
Dont you know when youre going to shock the monkey
Fox the fox
Rat the rat
You can ape the ape
I know about that
There is one thing you must be sure of
I cant take any more
Darling, dont you monkey with the monkey
Monkey, monkey, monkey
Dont you know youre going to shock the monkey
Wheels keep turning
Somethings burning
Dont like it but I guess Im learning
Shock! - watch the monkey get hurt, monkey
Cover me, when I sleep
Cover me, when I breathe
You throw your pearls before the swine
Make the monkey blind
Cover me, darling please
Monkey, monkey, monkey
Dont you know youre going to shock the monkey
Too much at stake
Ground beneath me shake
And the news is breaking
Shock! - watch the monkey get hurt, monkey
Shock the monkey
Shock the monkey
Shock the monkey to life
song performed by by Peter Gabriel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Too Much Monkey Business
Running to and fro,
Hard working at the mill,
Never failed at the mill,
There come a rotten bill.
Aw too much monkey business,
Too much monkey business,
Too much monkey business
For me to be involved again.
Salesman talking to me,
Trying to run me up a creek,
Says you can buy it, go on try it,
You can pay me next week.
Aw too much monkey business,
Too much monkey business,
Too much monkey business
For me to be involved again.
Blonde hair, good-looking,
Trying to get me hooked and married
Get a home, settle down by the book.
Too much monkey business,
Too much monkey business,
Too much monkey business
For me to be involved again.
Been to yokohama, baby,
Fighting in the war,
Army bunk, army chow,
Army clothes, army car.
Too much monkey business,
Too much monkey business,
Too much monkey business
For me to be involved again.
Same thing every day,
Getting up, going to school.
No need for me complaining,
My objection's overruled.
Aw too much monkey business,
Too much monkey business,
Too much monkey business
For me to be involved again.
Working in the filling station,
Too many tasks,
Wipe the windows, check the oil,
Check the tires, dollar gas?
Aw too much monkey business,
Too much monkey business
Don't want you by the race,
Get away and leave me.
[original has one more verse:
Pay-phone, something's wrong,
Dime gone, will mail.
Oughta sue the operator
For telling me a tale.
Too much monkey business,
Too much monkey business,
Too much monkey business
For me to be involved with you
song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Know that a monkey is on your back
There is a monkey on your back
At any point of time each one of us is carrying a monkey on the back.
Whether you like it or not your thoughts, words and deeds are determined by this very powerful monkey.
This monkey is nothing but a personification of the tasks either
assigned to you or taken up on your own.
The life line of the monkey is the strong desire that you nurse to
accomplish these tasks.
You may not know that you only feed this monkey and make it naughty.
They quality of your feed and its extent depend on your knowledge, attitude and earlier practices.
Often, wittingly or unwittingly we act only to get rid of the monkey.
Unfortunately, if one monkey goes the other is just taking its place.
And you think, talk and act accordingly.
Some wise people, are they really wise, pass on the monkey to some other’s back tactfully, so the monkey is rid off, but still alive. This is what
exactly happens in a work environment.
Know your monkeys and their feeds.
Fail not to feed them in time, as monkeys should be fed or shot to death. Otherwise, they will starve to death, forcing you to conduct postmortem.
Keep monkeys' population below the maximum number you can probably feed.
Feed monkeys only by appointment, otherwise you will be feeding them at odd hours.
Feed monkeys personally, if left to others, they may feed wrong and/or in unacceptable doses.
Each monkey is unique, hence its feed and frequency of feed differs.
No monkey stays long. They know when to leave you as once the monkey is satisfied with your hospitality it jumps off your back.
The new monkey on your back is the task to know whether monkeys are there or not on your back.
poem by Bashyam Narayanan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Too Much Monkey Business
Salesman talking to me tried to run me up a creek
Says you can buy it, go on try it, you can pay me next week
Uh-uh, too much monkey business, too much monkey business
Too much monkey business for me to be involved in
Oh-ho-ho
Blonde haired, good lookin tryin to get me hooked
Wants me to marry, settle down and get a home and and write a book
Uh-uh, too much monkey business, too much monkey business
Too much monkey business for me to be involved in
Oh-ho-ho
Pay phone, somethin wrong, dial gone,
Well me ought to sue the operator for tellin me a tale
Uh-uh, too much monkey business, too much monkey business
Too much monkey business for me to be involved in
Oh-ho-ho
Oh-ho-ho ...... oh-ho-ho ...... oh-ho-ho ...... oh-ho-ho
Been to vietnam, been a fightin in the war
Army bar, army chow, army clothes, army car
Uh-uh, too much monkey business, too much monkey business
Too much monkey business for me to be involved in
Oh-ho-ho
Workin in the fillin station, too many tasks
Wipe the windo, check the tires, check the oil, dollar gas
Uh-uh, too much monkey business, too much monkey business
Too much monkey business for me to be involved in
Oh-ho-ho
Blonde haired, good lookin tryin to get me hooked
Wants me to marry, get a home, settle down and and write a book
Uh-uh, too much monkey business, too much monkey business
Too much monkey business for me to be involved in
Oh-ho-ho
Too much monkey business, oh-ho-ho, too much monkey business, oh-ho-ho
Too much monkey business, oh-ho-ho too much monkey business, oh-ho-ho
Too much monkey business, oh-ho-ho too much monkey business, oh-ho-ho
song performed by by Elvis Presley, music by Chuck Berry, lyrics by Chuck Berry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Why Are We Here?
there is this sickness that comes
and you have no power to block it
it is like a monkey that comes at your
temple door and you have no way of driving it
you leave leaving everything important to that monkey
spreading banana peelings on the alter of your sacred nook
you watch at a distance where the monkey plays monkey upon itself
you are sleepy, you fall into a deep slumber
the monkey comes inside that dream and you are helpless
without your hands and feet
you cough, you struggle to vomit
there is no cure for this sickness
nothing comes out
and you are feeling toxic
that is why we are here.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Poem For Abdul
Why Are We Here?
there is this sickness that comes
and you have no power to block it
it is like a monkey that comes at your
temple door and you have no way of driving it
you leave
leaving everything important to that monkey
spreading banana peelings
on the altar of your sacred nook
you watch at a distance
where the monkey plays monkey
upon itself
you are sleepy,
you fall into a deep slumber
the monkey comes inside that dream
and you are helpless
without your hands and feet
you cough, you struggle to vomit
there is no cure for this sickness
nothing comes out
and you are feeling toxic
that is why we are here.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Proudest Monkey
Swing in this tree
Oh I am bounce around so well
Branch to branch,
Limb to limb you see
All in a days dream
Im stuck
Like the other monkeys here
I am a humble monkey
Sitting up in here again
But then came the day
I climbed out of these safe limbs
Ventured away
Walking tall, head high up and singing
I went to the city
Car horns, corners and the gritty
Now I am the proudest monkey youve ever seen
Monkey see, monkey do
Then comes the day
Staring at myself I turn to question me
I wonder do I want the simple, simple life that I once lived in well
Oh things were quiet then
In a way they were the better days
But now I am the proudest monkey youve ever seen
Monkey see, monkey do
Monkey see, monkey do
song performed by by Dave Matthews Band
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Flower waste
In zoo...
Monkey smile
The rose flower...
Kiss the flower...
Play the flower...
Flower was cry to ask
' o...monkey what
are you doing...? '
Monkey say for flower
' i love you flower...
your soft...
your nice...
your smooth...
very impress for me...
so... i love you....'
Flower say fore monkey
' No.. no... nasty monkey
i did not love you...'
Monkey very angry
So...
Bite the finger
For flower through away...
And lough...
Flower is wastage
For sample...!
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Look Out Johnny
(sylvester / clarke / hicks)
Johnny was a pusher on the east side
Pushing anything to be pushed
Laid something on a guy who didn't get high
Didn't know the guy was a hood
Wheeling-dealing johnny got frightened
Thought the best place was out of town
Packed up his bags and threw them in the back
Packed up his bags and threw them in the back
Of his chevy put his foot flat down
Look out johnny there's a monkey on your back
You better beware there johnny
'cause the monkey's packin' a gat
Drivin' over red lights speeding down the freeway
Johnny johnny get away
You better beware there johnny
There's a monkey on your back
Johnny thought he'd do something clever
Turning south on the old coast road
Pushing 94 swerving leaning on the door
Trying to shake off his heavy load
Crossed the state line feeling safer
Drinking in the corner of a bar
In walked a guy looked the barman in the eye
Said "hey is johnny in here"
Chorus
You better beware there johnny
There's a monkey on your back
Be good
You better beware there johnny
There's a monkey on your back
Look out johnny 'cos the monkey's packin' a gat
Drivin' over red lights speeding down the freeway
Johnny johnny get away
You better beware there johnny
There's a monkey on your back
Look out johnny there's a monkey on your back
(repeat)
song performed by by Hollies
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There should be a detective show called 'Johnny Monkey,' because every week you could have a guy say 'I ain't gonna get caught by no MONKEY,' but then he would, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of that.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Space Monkey
Space monkey, space monkey
What you doing out there?
Why its dark as a dungeon way up in the air
Come gather round me you little monkeys and a story Ill tell
About a brave young primate, outer space knew him well
He was born at the top of a big old tree
Way back in 1953.
He could swing through the jungle and hang by his toes
Till they took him to russia cause they could I suppose
They dressed him up in a spacesuit and it started to snow
Shot him off in a rocket where no man would go
Space monkey space monkey
What you doing out there?
Why its dark as a dungeon way up in the air
Therell be no one to greet you when you get back home
No hammer or sickle youll be on your own.
He had plenty of cuban bananas and loads of spam
But he found great difficulty trying to open the can
One day he slipped on a banana peel and the ship lost control
It spun out of orbit and shot o]ut the black hole
Its been four decades now, thats nine monkey years
Thats a long time for a space monkey to confront all his fears
Space monkey space monkey
What you doing out there?
Why its dark as a dungeon way up in the air
Therell be no one to greet you when you get back home
No hammer or sickle youll be all on your own.
Space monkey, space monkey
Its time to get real
The space race is over, how does it feel
Cold wars had a heatwave, iron curtains torn down
Theyve rolled up the carpet in space monkey town
Now leningrad is petersburg and petersburgs hell
For a card-carrying monkey with a story to tell
The space monkey was reportedly last sighted about
A half a block off of red square
In a karaoke bar having a few drinks with some of his friends
There was the dog that flew sputnik
And a blind red-headed, one legged parrot
Who had done some minor research for dow chemical
They were drinking american vodka
Imported all the way from paducah, kentucky
And reportedly had their arms around each others
Shoulders singing.
Those were the days, my friend, we thought theyd never end
Space monkey, space monkey
Theres nothing to do
But its better than living in a communist zoo
Therell be no one to greet you when you get back home
No hammer or sickle youll be all on you own
song performed by by John Prine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wedding Band
Joey Wedding Band
JoAnn was the birth name of my wife
To me Joey was her name for a lot of our married life
One of the best things anyone could ask for in life
Is to have a good and loving wife
When it comes time for me to pass no matter day or night
I hope and pray that my wife will be my guiding light
I did not complement my wife as much as I could of
But with all my heart I gave her my love
My wife is in heaven watching over our family
Hoping we could be the best we could be
I am now living by myself and on my own
I have my dogs and my family but I feel alone
I never thought I knew how bad pain could ever be
Until my wife died and left me
At times my wife lets me know she is near
She turns off the picture frame to let me know she is here
On a chain around my neck I wear my wife’s wedding band
I also still wear mine on the finger of my left hand
To anyone who reads this poem do not let the time with your family go
Everything is gone before you know
poem by Michael Gelb
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Who is a wife?
Who is a wife?
Who can be a virtuous wife?
Who is a wife?
Who can stand the strife
To be a wife?
There is a woman
And there is a wife
Any one can be a woman
But not any one can be a wife
A wife will stand for her pride
A woman will always want a ride
A wife will say
“we ‘ll have a say”
A woman will say
“I ‘ld have a say”
A wife will say
“WE bought you those”
A woman will say
“Mom bought you those”
A wife would say
“We share the bills”
A woman would say
“I share the bills”
A wife cooks what “we” like
A woman cooks what “I” like.
A wife loves unconditionally
A woman loves conditionally
A wife always stands by…
A woman sometimes stands by…
A wife thinks about “us”
A woman thinks about “me”
A wife supports the plans
A woman plans the supports
A wife keeps the relationship
A woman snubs the relationship
A WIFE IS OPPOSITE OF A WOMAN
Who then is a wife?
Amidst all my strife
I‘ve found a darling wife
You too can, if you also tried.
poem by Jr. J.Lakie Kollie
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Open Your Arms
Sitting under the money tree
look for the fruits of charity
best to pick them fast for they too far gone
they grow rotten to the core on the greedy man's farm
open your moth the words don't come out
even though the thoughts in your head seem to flow
are you so afraid what everybody thinks
are you so afraid to show what you know
to get along, with your sister your brother
get along, we all the same under this shell
brother to brother and sister to sister
and people are people and...
open your arms
monkey do monkey see
why you want to upset me
monkey go monkey say
but let me live my life today
monkey hear monkey walk
monkey you so full of talk
when are we every gonna learn
to fulfill the need to be free
feel free
be free
stand free
wont need mediocrity
brother to sister and
sister to brother and
brother to brother and sister to sister
open your arms
poem by Harlan Lovestone
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Monkey And The Engineer
Once upon a time there was an engineer.
Drove a locomotive both far and near.
Accompanied by a monkey that would sit on a stool
Watching everything the engineer would do
One day the engineer wanted a bite to eat,
He left the monkey sitting on the driver's seat,
The monkey pulled the throttle, the locomotive jumped the gun
And did 80 miles an hour down the mainline run.
Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line.
Big locomotive No. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind.
The engineer called up the dispatcher on the phone,
To tell him all about his locomotive was gone.
Dispatcher got on the wire, switch operator to the right,
Cause the monkey's got the main line sewed up tight.
The switch operator got the message on time,
Said there's a Northbound livin' on the same main line,
Open up the switch I'm gonna let him through the hole,
Cause the monkey's got the locomotive under control.
Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line.
Big locomotive No. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind
song performed by by Grateful Dead
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To Our Son With Love
on august 26th in the year ninteen fifty three
god and my wife gave a son to me
a special son we knew from the start
and from that day on joy has filled my heart
our teachings about values, honesty and life
were installed but mostly by my wife
our son was a blessing
a gift from above
his special charm, thoughfulness
and especially his love
his efforts and determation
to obtain his goal
we watched with pride
as they did unfold
now as a man and a father himself
his wife and children
are more precious than wealth
so remember our son
as you open each new door
as much as we love you
GOD loves you more
author hewitt hardy
poem by Hewitt Hardy
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Everybodys Going To Heaven / King Kong Reggae
I remember, I remember
What life was like in the yard
cause you cant ever think about dying
And it just makes a person get hard
I keep wondering if my friends feel like I do
I dont know how someone could stand it
To go through what Im now going through
So every night we party
And every night we get too high
And I put myself so close to death
til I think that I aint gonna die
And I realize just a little
Why sometimes I like to feel like dirt
Its the only thing in this day and age
That can make me feel close to the earth
But if I ever get to heaven
If I ever reach that door
I will listen why I had to go through this life
Why they just couldnt take me before
But everybodys going to heaven
cause already weve all been through hell
Were gonna laugh all night and cry all day
Watch the big monkey do the king kong reggae
A cadillac and a chevrolet
Watch the big monkey do the king kong reggae
The president of the u. s. a.
Watch the big monkey do the king kong reggae
Everybody fall down on your knees and pray
Here comes that big monkey doing the king kong reggae
song performed by by Todd Rundgren
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Junk Rock
Can't be late, can't be late for work again
The boys can't wait, the boys can't wait to get started again
My name is music, i see that the music gets done
My name is music, i see that the music gets done
And the apes can't wait to get started again
Look over there, the monkey on a chair
He thinks he's as smart as a computer chip,
But he hasn't figured out how to work his mouth
Shorty by the door, beating on the floor,
You better not mess with the little thing
He's a real nice guy 'til you get him riled up
Can't complain, can't complain about working with them
My name is music, i see that the music gets done
My name is music, i see that the music gets done
They go insane, we give them drugs and they're normal again
There's a pretty face, the monkey plunkin' bass
All the lady monkeys wanna jump his monkey bones,
But he loses track and his work gets backed up
Monkey on a power trip, monkey with a lot of lip,
Thinks he's in charge of every other monkey,
But he still looks cool even while he's drooling
Lunch is fun, lunch is fun when you're eating wit them
My name is music, i see that the music gets done
My name is music, i see that the music gets done
Then back to work, it's back to work while the orders pile in
Is it live or is it memorex?
song performed by by Utopia
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Monkey Around
So, your friends have been telling you
I'm outta my mind
Actin' all wild and weird
Shoutin' and screechin'
Bouncin' off the walls
Swinging from the chandeliers
I've been running thru the neon jungle
I've been chasing every woman in town
When you turn a man into a monkey
That monkey's gonna monkey around.
Now, wait until you see my new girlfriend
I picked her up down at the zoo
She's got rings in her nose
Glitter on her toes
And a very well placed tatoo
Now that I been up on the highwire
You ain't ever gonna get me down
When you turn a man into a monkey
That monkey is gonna monkey around.
Well, once you had me dancing
At the end of your chain
Begging for your small change love
I was jumping thru hoops
Doing loopty loops
Yeah but, girl I finally had enough
So when ya see me out rockin
In my little red hat
Going eight ball over town
Ya made a man into a monkey.
Yeah, once you had me dancing
At the end of your chain
Begging for your small change love
I was jumping thru hoops
Doing loopty loops
Yeah but, girl I finally had enough
So when ya see me out rockin
In my little red hat
Going eight ball over town
Ya made a man into a monkey
That monkey's gonna monkey around.
Yeah, Baby
You made a man into a monkey
This monkey's gonna monkey around...
song performed by by Travis Tritt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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