The Night A Processed Pea Took Out A Canned Tomato
The stars were shining bright
upon the night
a processed pea took out a canned tomato.
They took a look in at the Apple,
got all hung up on a Christmas tree.
The canned tomato started to wobble
and nearly squashed the processed pea.
They dropped out to stay alive
clearing away before the Beatles did arrive.
On the way back to the shop
they met up with a gooseberry
who joined them on the ground floor
in an eye full of sherry
for it was Christmas Day.
It seemed to be a lovely date,
unfortunately they couldn’t stay,
and had to retreat to their cases
before it was too late.
Author’s Note:
I have no idea of the exact date this bit of nonsense was written in the 1960’s. I know it was written shortly after The Beatles set up their company Apple. I was working in a grocery warehouse at the time, hence the mention of the vegetables. I can only assume it was written near Christmas.
David Harris
August 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
A Christmas Tree! A Christmas Tree!
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
With dark green needled memories
Of childhood dreams and mysteries
Wrapped present-like in front of me.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
I glimpse a past wherein i see
The child that then grew into me
Not forward fast but haltingly.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
A time for being with family
A time that's gone so fleetingly
Yet lives for always deep in me.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
When twelfth night comes whole hauntingly
One lingered look and then i see
No Christmas tree where it would be.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
With feelings now felt longingly
No corner in my house to see
The magic of that Christmas tree.
poem by David Keig
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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No Christmas Tree Where It Should Be
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
With dark green needled memories
Of childhood dreams and mysteries
Wrapped present-like in front of me.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
I glimpse a past wherein i see
The child that then grew into me
Not forward fast but haltingly.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
A time for being with family
A time that's gone so fleetingly
Yet lives for always deep in me.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
When twelfth night comes whole hauntingly
One lingered look and then i see
No Christmas tree where it would be.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
With feelings now felt tearfully
No home, no kids surrounding me
No corner in my house to see
The magic of that Christmas tree.
poem by David Keig
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Morning of Christmas Day
It'll be Christmas in the morning, it'll be Christmas
in the morning,
Snow is on the ground, it'll still be there
when Christmas comes around,
It'll be Christmas in the morning, it'll be Christmas
in the morning,
Christmas is a wonderful time,
bright lights on the Christmas tree, I just love
the way they shine-
It'll be Christmas in the morning, It'll be
Christmas in the morning-
The snow is on the ground and I know its
gonna stay, it'll still be there the morning of Christmas day-
poem by Dorsey Baker
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Christmas Time
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Ain't been round since you know when
Christmas time is here again
O-u-t spells "out"
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Ain't been round since you know when
Christmas time is here again
O-u-t spells "out"
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Ain't been round since you know when
Christmas time...[music continues and fades to background]
[spoken]
This is paul mccartney here, i'd just like to wish you everything you wish yourself for christmas.
This is john lennon saying on behalf of the beatles, have a very happy christmas and a good new year.
George harrison speaking. i'd like to take this opportunity to wish you a very merry christmas, listeners everywhere.
This is ringo starr and i'd just like to say merry christmas and a really happy new year to all listeners
[a john lennon pastiche at this point, very hard to understand]
song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Christmas Time Is Here Again
Lennon/McCartney/Harrison/Starkey)
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Ain't been round since you know when
Christmas time is here again
O-U-T spells "out"
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Ain't been round since you know when
Christmas time is here again
O-U-T spells "out"
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Ain't been round since you know when
Christmas time...[music continues and fades to background]
[spoken]
This is Paul McCartney here, I'd just like to wish you everything
you wish yourself for Christmas.
This is John Lennon saying on behalf of the Beatles, have a very
Happy Christmas and a good New Year.
George Harrison speaking. I'd like to take this opportunity to wish
you a very Merry Christmas, listeners everywhere.
This is Ringo Starr and I'd just like to say Merry Christmas and a
really Happy New Year to all listeners
[a John Lennon pastiche at this point, very hard to
understand
song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Please Come Home For Christmas
Written by charles mose brown and gene c. redd
Bells will be ringing the glad, glad news
Oh, what a christmas to end the blues
My babys gone, I have no friends
To wish me greetings, ooh, once again
Choirs will be singing silent night
Christmas carols by candlelight
Please come home for christmas
Please come home for christmas
If not for christmas, by new years night
Friends and relations send salutations
Sure as the stars shine above
This is christmas, yeah, christmas my dear
The time of year to be with the one you love
So wont you tell me youll never more roam
Christmas and new years will find you home
Please come home for christmas
Please come home for christmas
If not for christmas by new years night
[instrumental interlude]
Therell be no more sorrow no grief and pain
And Ill be happy, happy once again
song performed by by Vonda Shepard
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Christmas Past
Oh happy days, the snow fell over-night,
we have a white Christmas in our sight.
Only a few more days and nights,
Christmas will shine bright of white.
Remember those beautiful Christmas Eves,
when we gathered round our colorful trees.
Remember when we caroled down the street,
sang Christmas songs oh so sweet.
Memories are precious let’s not forget,
don’t do anything you might regret.
Christmas is the time of year to share,
to treasure family far and near.
This Christmas with the lights shining bright,
reflecting God’s blanket of white.
Sing sweet songs in memory,
past Christmas’s history.
Written: Dec.14/06
poem by Melvina Germain
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A John Prine Christmas
Pretty paper
Pretty ribbons of blue.
(spoken) Man oh man,
I just love Christmas
it's just so darn neat.
I kinda wish every day was Christmas,
except Christmas eve and the Fourth of July.
We wouldn't want to miss out on the fireworks, would we?
When I was a kid, we used to get the Christmas catalog from Montgomery Wards in Chicago.
Sometimes we'd get it as early as late August.
It was the big book of wishes, hopes and desires.
My three brothers and I were allotted twenty-five bucks a piece, including tax.
So I'd make up a different Christmas list every night
from the first of September 'til the twenty-forth of December.
Matter of fact, let me present you with my Christmas credentials.
When I was three years old, at least that's what my mother told me,
I ate an entire ornament. I ate a big red one, I thought it was an apple.
They kinda freaked out and was gonna take me to the hospital
but they couldn't stop me from laughing so they just left me alone.
So I guess I still got that Christmas in me all the time, you know?
One year, I got a wooden Roly-Poly for Christmas,
you know the things you knock down and they bounce right back up.
They made 'em out of wood back then, that's how old I am.
Nowadays, they make 'em out of plastic.
My mom says
song performed by by John Prine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Christmas Treasures
Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree.
Lush, green ambiance standing before me.
Mesmerized by childhood memories.
I smile and ponder of which I see.
Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree,
That precious time of year upon us,
to embrace our family and friends.
To share, care and make amends.
Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree.
The time to think of Jesus Christ,
what his life for all has given.
Rejoice, praise, worship and sing.
His Father in heaven is our true King.
Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree.
Away you’ll go for another year,
With glowing memories packed inside.
Fresh in our minds, we shall not hide.
Our living savior, Jesus Christ.
Gives much love, and an abundance of pride.
Written: Dec.2/06
poem by Melvina Germain
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Thank God Its Christmas
Words and music by brian may and roger taylor
Oh my love weve had our share of tears
Oh my friend weve had our hopes and fears
Oh my friends its been a long hard year
But now its christmas
Yes its christmas
Thank God its christmas
The moon and stars seem awful cold and bright
Lets hope the snow will make this christmas right
My friend the world will share this special night
Because its christmas
Yes its christmas
Thank God its christmas
For one night
Thank God its christmas yeah
Thank God its christmas
Thank God its christmas
Can it be christmas?
Let it be christmas
Evry day
Oh my love weve lived in troubled days
Oh my friend we have the strangest ways
All my friends on this one day of days
Thank God its christmas
Yes its christmas
Thank God its christmas
For one day
Thank God its christmas
Yes its christmas
Thank God its christmas
Oooh yeah
Thank God its christmas
Yes yes yes yes its christmas
Thank God its christmas
For one day
A very merry christmas to you all
song performed by by Queen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Christmas Wishes (written with Chloe Labrie)
For Christmas wishes, I only have one.
I don't want a vacation under the sun.
I don't want the presents under the tree,
I only want you to be with me.
The snow is falling lightly,
And Christmas is coming near,
But I don't want the presents that I may receive.
What would fill my heart with cheer,
Is you just being here.
When our love is matched with Christmas spirit,
There is just no way to cure it.
I don't need any twinkling Christmas lights,
Just you alone makes my holidays bright.
When you come around,
You'll have to keep my feet on the ground.
To make my perfect holiday,
I don't want you to stay away.
Please grant my Christmas wish,
Because you're the only thing on my Christmas list.
poem by Melanie Gardiner
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Talk Bird Talk
Bought a parrot
from the corner shop,
the salesman told me
it would talk,
but all the ruddy thing
can do is squawk.
I got it a mate,
thought that would help.
Help. Huh!
The ruddy thing
only laid me an egg.
Talk bird, talk
and pack in
that melodic squawk,
your driving me crazy
so talk bird talk.
(This bit of nonsense was written
in the late 1960’s exact date unknown)
poem by David Harris
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Merry Christmas
The snow is falling in a cold winter night
Stars in the sky shining bright see the light
forget about the problems for one day in your life
With your wife, your family, your friends and in harmony
Let's come together help the sad and lonely through
it could be me or you so what we gonna do
Come and take my hand, let me understand
Welcome to the Christmas land
Merry Christmas, merry Christmas
Feel the power of the silent night
Merry Christmas, merry Christmas
See the guiding star is shining so bright
Oh oh oho
We're celebrating Christmas
Come and join the party of love
Oh oh oho
We're celebrating Christmas
See the stars are shining above
Who wants to spend Christmas time alone
at home on your own sitting next to the phone
Waiting for someone who's calling tonight
To hold you tight, let the stars shine bright
Feel the spirit, the power of love
These emotional moments and the sky above
Friends are together celebrating hand in hand
Welcome to the Christmas land
song performed by by DJ Bobo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Our Christmas
Our Christmas
Christmas came early for you and for me
Christmas with no gifts to open
Christmas without any yuletide tree
Christmas with words of love spoken
Christmas was walking to York hand in hand
Christmas in awe at the Minster
Christmas togetherness was just what we planned
Christmas was chaffed legs and blisters
Christmas was cups of tea served early morn
Christmas was being together
Christmas was loving from dusk until dawn
Christmas remembered forever
Christmas was driving through floods for the view
Christmas ‘our planning’ was starting
Christmas our Christmas meant so much to me
Christmas our bitter sweet parting
poem by Stephen Holland
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Oh Christmas Tree
Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely
Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely
Each year you bring to me delight, meaning in the christmas night
Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely
Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, with faithful leaves unchanging
Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, with faithful leaves unchanging
Your boughs are green, in sommers glow and do not fade in winters snow
Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, with faithful leaves unchanging
Each year you bring to me delight, meaning in the christmas night
Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely
song performed by by Boney M.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She Wont Be Home
She looks around
There are snowflakes on the ground
Here comes another lonely christmas
Stars in the night
There is one there shining bright
Shine bright for me this lonely christmas
-chorus:
And I wanted to say to you
How much I want to be with you
I wanted to say to you
How much I need to be with you
Christmas time comes once a year
She knows this time he wont be near
She phones her mom
Says this time she cannot come
Dont worry Im with friends this christmas
Dad gets upset
But in time he soon forgets
Here comes another lonely christmas
Chorus
Chorus to fade
song performed by by Erasure
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Christmas Gifts
Ten Christmas presents standing in a line;
Robert took the bicycle, then there were nine.
Nine Christmas presents ranged in order straight;
Bob took the steam engine, then there were eight.
Eight Christmas presents--and one came from Devon;
Robbie took the jackknife, then there were seven.
Seven Christmas presents direct from St. Nick's;
Bobby took the candy box, then there were six.
Six Christmas presents, one of them alive;
Rob took the puppy dog, then there were five.
Five Christmas presents yet on the floor;
Bobbin took the soldier cap, then there were four.
Four Christmas presents underneath the tree;
Bobbet took the writing desk, then there were three.
Three Christmas presents still in full view;
Robin took the checker board, then there were two.
Two Christmas presents, promising fun,
Bobbles took the picture book, then there was one.
One Christmas present--and now the list is done;
Bobbinet took the sled, and then there were none.
And the same happy child received every toy,
So many nicknames had one little boy.
poem by Carolyn Wells
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Unwritten Christmas (feat. Sum 41)
(Unwritten Law]
Remember when, I was ten,
lookin forward to Christmas again,
everything, I enjoy,
like the family Christmas tree and the toys,
and Id wake up early morning
while mom and dad still snored in bed,
so I crept, down the steps,
couldnt wait to see what Santa had left now
[Chorus]
I could not wait for Christmas day,
wait for Christmas day now
[Unwritten Law]
Don't want to wait, gettin late,
march up stairs to give my parents a shake,
get out of bed, sleepy heads,
Christmas doesn't start till you are awake,
as we gather around the tree
I open everything they gave to me,
so I stay, end up late,
why cant it be Christmas everyday now
[Chorus]
I could not wait for Christmas day,
wait for Christmas day now,
but I, but I, will have to wait for Christmas,
I will hafta wait for Christmas,
I will always wait for Christmas day
[Sum 41]
Now wake up Christmas morning, guess what I saw,
it's Unwritten Law and Sum 41 rock it raw,
with the message for kids sayin they should be nice
not naughty cuz, Santa knows karate, he's on the cross Vader,
hip hop hoorayder , got wade on the beats,
like AC Slater, if you good like Wally,
or bad like the Beev, only Santa know the score
come Christmas eve
[Chorus]submitting the lyrics.
Unwritten Law - Unwritten Christmas (
But I, but I will have to wait for Christmas,
I will have to wait for Christmas,
I will always wait for Christmas
day now yeah, I could not wait for Christmas day
song performed by by Unwritten Law
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sharing Christmas
I'm waking up early this morning,
I can't wait to see our christmas tree,
There's a big blanket of snow,
Covering each and every home.
oohhhh..
[CHORUS:]
We're basting the turkey,
And hanging mistletoe,
We're laughing with loved-ones,
Decorations in the window.
It's such a wonderful time Sharing Christmas,
It is such a lovely, loving time sharing christmas.
It's such a wonderful time Sharing Christmas,
It is such a lovely, loving time sharing christmas. oohh.
[CHORUS:]
We're basting the turkey,
And hanging mistletoe,
We're laughing with loved-ones,
Decorations in the window.
It's such a wonderful time Sharing Christmas,
It is such a lovely, loving time sharing christmas.
It's such a wonderful time Sharing Christmas,
It is such a lovely, loving time sharing christmas. oohh.
Street corners filled with cheers,
It's that time of the year, for giving.
The stars are shining bright,
Cause it's christmas time..oohhh..
[CHORUS:]
We're basting the turkey,
And hanging mistletoe,
We're laughing with loved-ones,
Decorations in the window.
It's such a wonderful time sharing christmas,
It is such a lovely, loving time sharing christmas.
It's such a wonderful time Sharing Christmas,
It is such a lovely, loving time sharing christmas. oohh..
It's such a wonderful time sharing christmas,
It is such a lovely, loving time sharing christmas.
It's such a wonderful time Sharing Christmas,
It is such a lovely, loving time sharing christmas. oohh..
song performed by by Ashanti
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Christmas
- P. Spector - J. Barry - E. Greenwich -
(Christmas)
The snow's coming down
(Christmas)
I'm watching it fall
(Christmas)
Lots of people around
(Christmas)
Baby please come home
(Christmas)
The church bells in town
(Christmas)
All ringing in song
(Christmas)
Full of happy sounds
(Christmas)
Baby please come home
They're singing 'Deck The Halls'
But it's not like Christmas at all
Cuz I remember when you were here
And all the fun we had last year
(Christmas)
Pretty lights on the tree
(Christmas)
I'm watching them shine
(Christmas)
You should be here with me
(Christmas)
Baby please come home
They're singing 'Deck The Halls'
But it's not like Christmas at all
Cuz I remember when you were here
And all the fun we had last year
(Christmas)
If there was a way
(Christmas)
I'd hold back this tear
(Christmas)
But it's Christmas day
(Please)
Please
(Please)
Please
(Please)
Please
(Please)
Please
Baby please come home
(Christmas)
Baby please come home
(Christmas)
Baby please come home
(Christmas)
Baby please come home
song performed by by Mariah Carey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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