Hell In A Handbag
You have everything planned
and you are all set to go,
then something unexpected happens
and everything you planned
goes to hell in a handbag.
You can guarantee
that all best laid plans
will hit a snag somewhere
and when it does, everything
goes to hell in a handbag.
Planning in the outdoors,
you have to rely on the weather.
A sunny day is preferred,
but just let the rain set in
and it all goes to hell in a handbag.
8 March 2011
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Talk to Her Handbag and She’ll Hear You (Fun Poem 42)
Vera and I went out for a meal on Saturday night
along with our eldest son, daughter-in-law,
Vera’s sister, her daughter and family.
When we got to the restaurant,
Vera kept saying what?
What?
I asked her if she had her, hearing aid in,
she replied it was in her handbag.
So I announced to everyone
if you want to speak to Vera,
you are going to have to talk to her handbag.
(12 November 2007)
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Parting Of Our Ways
Where has it gone?
The love we shared?
The love I live for is no longer there
If God only planned it to last all our days
There never would have been a parting of our ways
Love was so bright, then you went away
My days were sunny; now they are gray
If God only planned it to last all our days
There never would have been a parting of our ways
I hope and pray that hell return to me
Forever since hes been gone, Ive been in misery
I hope someday hell come up to my door,
Saying hes sorry hell leave no more
My love is gone now; it didnt last
Who was my future now is my past
If God only planned it to last all our days
There never would have been,
Never would have been now,
Never would have been a parting of our ways
song performed by by Carpenters
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Love Is Hell
There's strange weather in the back of the room
And she's pretty, Jesse's spinning the tunes
Eyelashes, and some white leather boots
God, what have I been drinking?
I could be serious but I'm just kiddin' around
I could be anything, anything but sticking around
Love is hell
Love is hell
Love is . . . hell
Is . . .hell
It's raining, I can see it outside
Funny I'm still in it
Just sitting here with Johnny and Raph'
Untll the room starts spinning
I could be serious but I'm just kiddin' around
I could be anything, nothing, whatever, oh well
Love is hell
Love is hell
Love is . . . hell
Love is . . . hell
Love is . . . hell
Love is . . . hell
Love is . . . hell
Love is . . . hell
Love is . . . hell
Is . . . hell
song performed by by Ryan Adams
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Lay Me Down
(l. stansfield/i. devaney/a. morris)
Hes warmer than the radiator
Sweeter than caramel
The way he weaves his madness
And it puts me in a spell
He twists me round his finger
And I enjoy it so
Hold me in his tender arms
And never let me go
Hell never let me go
Never let me go
Never let me go
Chorus:
Do, down, lay me down (x4)
Theres never complication
Hell never compromise
His kisses never ending
And they send me to the sky
Hes understanding
And hell never let me down
He fills me up with passion
And hell always be around
Hell always be around
Hell always be around
Always be, he will always be around
Do, down, lay me down (x2)
You hear what I say
Do, down, lay me down (x3)
Hell never let me down
Do, down, lay me down
Do you know what it means to me
Do, down, lay me down
And hes everything, oh baby
Hell always be around
Hell always be around
Hell always be around
Hell always be, hell always be around
song performed by by Lisa Stansfield
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Marriage is a snake to slip into your handbag.
Always The Bride, But Not The Groom
Always the bride, but not the groom
that is what I became
when I went to a Wedding in October.
We went to the wedding,
then along to the reception.
I stood talking to a couple of friends
and the bride rushed in and said to me.
“Dave look after these for me“
She then commenced to hand me
her bridal bouquet and handbag.
One of our friends Donall
gave me a hug and kiss
and asked me to marry him.
His partner Janice grabbed her camera
and took a photo of me,
bridal bouquet in one hand, handbag in the other
and a lopsided smile from the mouth ulcer I had.
Right there and then I became a bride, but not the groom.
20 November 2008
Author’s note:
I dedicate this poem to:
Janice Windle (who took the photo)
Donall Dempsey (who planted the kiss)
Tara (the real bride for dropping me in it.)
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Wish You Were Here
I sent you a postcard
Thought it would be funny
Would have sent a souvenir
But they took all my money
It's pretty warm down here but it ain't sunny
And I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
I tried to call you
I tried to call you
Long distance operators that only stall you
Besides the damn rates are so high
They just appall you
And I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
And I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
It started out a nice vacation
Left the station right on time
Can't get a ticket to get me home, dear
They just don't have too many flights from twilight zone, dear
So don't forget to feed my cats
Spot and Jerome, dear
And I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
Seeing all the sights here
I'm getting lonely
I'd show you all the film I took if they would only
Let me go home
Dear, sincerely
I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
song performed by by Alice Cooper
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Gonna Raise Hell
Words and music by rick nielsen
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Ambition? ha!
If all Ive heard is true,
Theres nothin much I can do
To change the world, its irreversible.
But in what it lacks,
Its got a taste that smacks of somethin irresistable.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Submission? yes!
Now I wont name names, and a secrets a secret,
But a hints a hint or a clue.
You really wanna know, you really wanna go,
Theres only two things you got to do.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Mother, mother.
Mother, mother.
Mother, mother.
My mission? ah, yes!
Everybody hear? everybody here,
Its a fate I all agree.
Sometimes you win, I never lose,
To me its no mystery.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
(repeat to coda)
song performed by by Cheap Trick
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antique shop
memory of marriage day reels
from a sequinned handbag
haiku by John Tiong Chunghoo
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Lonely As Hell
I am no man's burden
I can take care of myself
but it's lonely out in space
I've come to know the area well.
I salute shooting stars as they pass on by
a comet, a galaxy, but never a sigh,
lonely as hell out here, i say
lonely as hell
lonely as hell.
I put on a smiling face
and greet those who may pass by
but it's a different story if they could see
behind these emerald eyes
straight into this heart of mine
searching for love, running out of time,
it's lonely as hell in here, I say,
lonely as hell
lonely as hell.
Down memory lane I walk sometimes
out in the pouring rain
just to relive moments gone by
that will never sparkle with life again.
I's lonely as hell on memory lane
lonely as hell
lonely as hell.
poem by Beyond Repair
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The Taker
Hes a giver, hell give her
The kind of attention that shes never known
Hes a helper, hell help her
To open the doors that she cant on her own
Hes a lover, hell love her
In ways that she never has been loved before
And hes a getter, hell get her
By gettin her into the world shes been hungerin for
cause hes a taker, hell take her
To places and make her fly higher than shes ever dared to
Hell take his time before takin advantage
Takin her easy and slow
And after hes taken the body and soul
That she gives him, hell take her for granted
Then hell take off and leave her
Takin all of her pride as he goes
Yes, hes a taker, hell take her ...
Hes a charmer, and hell charm her
With money and manners that I never learned
Hes a leader, and hell lead her
Across pretty bridges hes planning to burn
Hes a talker, hell talk her
Right off of her feet, but he wont talk for long
Cause hes a doer, and hell do her
The way that I never
And damned if he wont do her wrong
cause hes a taker, hell take her
To places and make her fly higher than shes ever dared to
Hell take his time before takin advantage
Takin her easy and slow
And after hes taken the body and soul
That she gives him, hell take her for granted
Then hell take off and leave her
Takin all of her pride as he goes
Yes, hes a taker, hell take her ...
song performed by by Kris Kristofferson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Go To Hell
Now if your mind lies in the Devil's workshop
And evil duens your thrill
And trouble and mischief is all you live for
You know darn well
That you'll go to hell
So you're living high and mighty
Rich off the fat of the land
Just don't dispose of your natural soul
'cos you know darn well
That you'll go to hell
I say hell
Where your natural soul burns
Hell
Where you pay for your sins
Hell
Keep your children from wrongdoing
'cos you know darn well
That they'll go to hell.
I say hell
Man, woman were created
Hell
To live for eternity
Hell
With an apple they ate from the tree of hate
So you know darn well
That they went to hell
Now Satan was an angel in heaven
But he stirred up trouble and woe
So the LORD commanded that the Devil be branded
So you know darn well
He went to hell
Yeah, he went to hell
Yeah, he went to hell
He went to hell.
song performed by by Nina Simone
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Burning Hell
Women got legs, men got pants
I got the picnic, you got the ants,
Put it in the fire heaven knows
Take my torch and touch your toes in hell
Its a burning hell
You can burn in hell
Its a burning hell
You can burn in hell
Its a burning hell
Women dont fret, boys dont bet
Let me see your silhouette in hell
Women above me take my love
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love
Its a burning hell
Its a burning hell
Baby, baby, baby, Im hell
Its a burning hell
Girl stop moving, boy behave
Baby, Ill put you in an early grave in hell
Love on the ceiling, love on the floor
Im gonna leave you burning for more
Burn in the country, burn downtown
All the best people are burning down in hell, hell, ah hell
Its a burning hell
Youll burn in hell
Its a big, burning, giant, colossal matter
Hell
Oh baby, Im hell
Burn, burn, burn!
song performed by by REM
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'd rather hang out with five people that I love than with 400 strangers at a club who are all doing the up-and-down inspection thing. They appraise everybody from head to toe - the outfit, the handbag, the shoes, how much they weigh... I can't stand it!
quote by Sophia Bush
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Hell Bent For Leather
Seek him here, seek him on the highway
Never knowing when hell appear
All await, engines ticking over
Hear the roar as they sense the fear
Wheels! a glint of steel and a flash of light!
Screams! from a streak of fire as he strikes!
Hell bent, hell bent for leather
Hell bent, hell bent for leather
Black as night, faster than a shadowcrimson flare from a raging sun
An exhibition, of sheer precision
Yet no one knows from where he comes
Fools! self destruct cannot take that crown
Dreams! crash one by one to the ground
Hell bent, hell bent for leather
Hell bent, hell bent for leather
Theres many who tried to prove that theyre faster
But they didnt last and they died as they tried
Theres many who tried to prove that theyre faster
But they didnt last and they died as they tried
Hell bent, hell bent for leather
Hell bent, hell bent for leather
Hell bent, hell bent for leather
Hell bent, hell bent for leather
song performed by by Judas Priest
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What’s in Your Handbag, honey?
Size matters. Man, she’s tanned,
She’s lean’s a greyhound
Except for her silicon knockers.
What’s in your handbag, honey?
Sweet thing, eye candy,
Doctors her doubts with gin
Swallows her baby-blockers.
poem by Sheena Blackhall
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By The Time I Get To Phoenix
(jim webb)
By the time I get to phoenix hell be risin
Hell find the note I left hangin on his door
And hell laugh when he reads the part that says Im leavin
cause Ive left that man so many times before
By the time I make albuquerque hell be workin
Hell probably stop at lunch and give me a call
But hell just hear that phone keep on ringin
Off the wall, thats all
By the time I make oklahoma hell be sleepin
Hell turn softly and call my name out low
And hell cry just to think Id really leave him
Though time and time Ive tried to tell him so
Oh, he just didnt know
I would really go
I would really go
song performed by by Reba Mcentire
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Patron Saint Of Liars And Fakes
I'm holding out and I'm holding on to every letter and every song
I pulled myself out of the day we ever had to meet
Are you through with me?
So
And when it all goes to hell
Will you be able to tell me sorry with a straight face
And when it all goes to hell
Will you be able to tell me sorry with a straight face
I'm all ears and I'm all scars to hear you tell me
"Boys like you, you try too hard to look not quite as desperate."
Well I'm hanging on
But I still know the way to make your makeup run
So
And when it all goes to hell
Will you be able to tell me sorry with a straight face
And when it all goes to hell
Will you be able to tell me sorry with a straight face
And when it all goes to hell
Will you be able to tell me sorry with a straight face
And when it all goes to hell (take this to your grave )
Will you be able to tell (Ill take it to mine) me sorry with a straight face
And when it all goes to hell
And when it all goes to hell
And when it all goes to hell
And when it all goes
song performed by by Fall Out Boy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Won't Back Down
I know what darkness means
(and the void you left for me)
the isolation stings
(so thick it wants to bleed)
the echoes in my brain
(all the things you said to me)
you took my everything
Now I'm coming for you
I won't back down
I will not bow
I've come to bring you hell
And I can't forget
things you did
I've come to bring you hell
The shadow that you see
(in the places that you sleep)
are memories of me
(you better pray your soul to keep)
the truth behind you eyes
(you know the things you never see)
your darkest little lies
(I'm coming for you)
I won't back down
I will not bow
I've come to bring you hell
And I can't forget things you did
I've come to bring you hell
All the scars that never heal
All the wounds that will not seal
I will not forget the days
Theses memories never fall
I won't back down
I will not bow
And I can't forget
things you did
I've come to bring you hell
I've come to bring you hell
I've come to bring you hell
I've come to bring you hell
I've come to bring you hell
I've come to bring you hell
I've come to bring you hell
I've come to bring you hell
I've come to bring you hell
song performed by by Fuel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Thoughts Of A Dying Atheist
eerie whispers
trapped beneath my pillow
you won't let me see
your memories
and I know you're in this room
I'm sure I heard you sigh
frozen in between
where our worlds collide
scares the hell out of me
and the end is all I can see
and it scares the hell out of me
and the end is all I can see
and I know the moment's near
and there's nothing you can do
look through a faithless eye
are you afraid to die?
it scares the hell out of me
and the end is all I can see
and it scares the hell out of me
and the end is all I can see
It scares the hell out of me
and the end is all I can see
and it scares the hell out of me
and the end is all I can see
song performed by by Muse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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