Backside Of Thirty
They say when you reach
the backside of thirty;
a midlife crisis looms in the air.
Midlife crisis!
Now what the hell is that?
Is it like the flu,
or a summer cold?
If it is, then I had mine,
When I got married
So many years ago.
So what happens?
When you reach the backside of forty.
Is it another midlife crisis,
or are you over the hill there?
Don’t ask me, I don’t know.
A government official once told me,
At the age of forty,
I was too far gone for repair.
That I was on the downward stretch.
Well here I am at sixty two,
and I’ve seen the backside of fifty.
But who really cares?
Your as young as you feel,
and I still feel like a little kid.
I go away at weekend
and play cowboys and Indians,
but in my case it is vicars and Indians
that’s why they call me Dodgy Dave.
Who cares if I’m a blatant fool,
I’m enjoying my life while I got it.
My advise to you,
is when you hit the backside of thirty,
you do the same as I do.
Act a little crazy,
and enjoy everyday you got.
13 June 2007
poem by David Harris
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Related quotes
Midlife Crisis
Go on and wring my neck
Like when a rag gets wet
A little discipline
For my pet genius
My head is like a lettuce
Go on and dig your thumbs in
I cannot stop giving
Im thirty-something
Sense of security
Like pockets jingling
Midlife crisis
Suck ingenuity
Down through the family tree
Youre perfect, yes, its true
But without me youre only you
Your menstruating heart
It aint bleeding enough for two
Its a midlife crisis...
What an inheritance
The salt and the kleenex
Morbid self attention
Bending my pinky back
A little discipline
A donor by habit
A little discipline
Rent an opinion
Sense of security
Holding blunt instrument
Im a perfectionist
And perfect is a skinned knee
Youre perfect, yes, its true
But without me youre only you
Your menstruating heart
It aint bleeding enough for two
Its a midlife crisis...............
song performed by by Faith No More
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Midlife Crisis
Shorthand for trying
to put the clock back and to be
as in your twenties and to flee
all thoughts of dying,
midlife crisis
puts into new perspective work,
enabling you to be a jerk,
not Dionysus.
Richard A. Friedman, a professor of psychiatry at Cornell University, writes about the midlife crisis in the Science Times of ther NY, January 15,2008 (“Crisis? Maybe He’s a Narcissistic Jerk”) :
With the possible exception of “the dog ate my homework, ” there is no handier excuse for human misbehavior than the midlife crisis. Popularly viewed as a unique developmental birthright of the human species, it supposedly strikes when most of us have finally figured ourselves out — only to discover that we have lost our youth and mortality is on the horizon. No doubt about it, life in the middle ages can be challenging. (Full disclosure: I’m 51.) What with the first signs of physical decline and the questions and doubts about one’s personal and professional accomplishments, it is a wonder that most of us survive. Not everyone is so lucky; some find themselves seized by a seemingly irresistible impulse to do something dramatic, even foolish. Everything, it appears, is fair game for a midlife crisis: one’s job, spouse, lover — you name it. I recently heard about a severe case from a patient whose husband of nearly 30 years abruptly told her that he “felt stalled and not self-actualized” and began his search for self-knowledge in the arms of another woman. It was not that her husband no longer loved her, she said he told her; he just did not find the relationship exciting anymore. “Maybe it’s a midlife crisis, ” she said, then added derisively, “Whatever that is.” Outraged and curious, she followed him one afternoon and was shocked to discover that her husband’s girlfriend was essentially a younger clone of herself, right down to her haircut and her taste in clothes. It doesn’t take a psychoanalyst to see that her husband wanted to turn back the clock and start over. But this hardly deserves the dignity of a label like “midlife crisis.” It sounds more like a search for novelty and thrill than for self-knowledge. In fact, the more I learned about her husband, it became clear that he had always been a self-centered guy who fretted about his lost vigor and was acutely sensitive to disappointment. This was a garden-variety case of a middle-aged narcissist grappling with the biggest insult he had ever faced: getting older. But you have to admit that “I’m having a midlife crisis” sounds a lot better than “I’m a narcissistic jerk having a meltdown.”
© 2008 Gershon Hepner 1/15/08
poem by Gershon Hepner
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Middle Age
Rictameter:
Syllable count
two-four-six-eight-ten
and reverse.
'Crisis'
sad occasion
love loosing its allure
two souls led into temptation
romance neglected as never before.
wedding rings are of no avail
what an uhappy tale
in the midlife
'Crisis'
poem by Joyce Hemsley
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You know, let a few years go by until I hit my midlife crisis. Then that can be documented on film.
quote by Claire Danes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I think midlife crisis is just a point where people's careers have reached some plateau and they have to reflect on their personal relationships.
quote by Bill Murray
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Turn your midlife crisis to your own advantage by making it a time for renewal of your body and mind, rather than stand by helplessly and watch them decline.
quote by Jane E. Brody
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A question of time
When is midlife?
If one lives to 100
then 50 is midpoint
70? then 35 is it
Does age cause spirituality?
If so, then why?
Death comes at any age
or at any time
Why think about death
when it can take you
anytime or anywhere?
Choose your battles
even with death
decide your own fate
rather than leave it
up to the cosmic lottery
It is possible to cheat death
depending on what you think
is midlife.
poem by Samael Wolf
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Hostage Crisis
Who is a hostage
What is the crisis
Who is there
To solve this.
I am here
In this world
And I am in crisis
It is your world
It is you
Who solve my crisis.
The crisis of
Identification
The crisis of
Beautification
The crisis of
Unification
The crisis of
Liberation.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
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Make The Most Of Midlife
if you wait about what midlife
has to offer
you become a loser
because you expect an offering of such age
midlife is an age of giving
of making other people's dreams come true
make the most of it
let others grow let others have their own way
watch them
bloom
watch them
find their destinies
watch them
laugh
and then you are
what you want to be
a kingmaker
a dream weaver
a happy person
simply watching time go by.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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It is popular to call it a crisis of the Western world. It is in fact a crisis of the whole world. Communism, which claims to be a solution of the crisis, is itself a symptom and an irritant of the crisis.
quote by Whittaker Chambers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.
quote by Dick Gregory
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Transplant
The Transplant
You throb slowly and evenly today,
does it mean you have accepted your
fate that you at only thirty shall live
with an old man like me? Faithful, but
could you have done other wise?
My fear is having done this sacrifice
at such a tender age you might, when
reaching middle age, revolt, feel you
have wasted your time with me,
become bitter and self destructive.
I must warn, because I do love you,
(I even stopped smoking for you)
if you let me down you will be cast
into the wilderness of no life only
because you can’t dance anymore?
Irate the heart cries and skip a beat
worryingly, been threatened by
the man it gave itself too. Why can’t
he, get off his backside and take his
wife to the ball.
poem by Oskar Hansen
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Pout On
IwishthatIcouldrushtoyouandmakeitokay,
ButIcan'tdothatbecauseyou'renotfeelingthatway .
IwishthatIcouldrushtoyouandmakeitokay,
ButIcan'tdothatbecauseyou'renotfeelingthatway .
You rather whine about these times.
Just sitting on your backside finding time to sigh.
You rather whine about these times.
Just sitting on your backside finding time to sigh.
IwishthatIcouldrushtoyouandmakeitoka y,
ButIcan'tdothatbecauseyou'renotfeelingthatway .
IwishthatIcouldrushtoyouandmakeitokay,
ButIcan'tdothatbecauseyou'renotfeelingthatway .
You rather whine about these times.
Just sitting on your backside finding time to sigh.
You rather whine about these times.
Just sitting on your backside finding time to sigh.
Pout on.
Pout on.
Like the others who are shouting 'bout lost pennies in their pots!
Pout on.
Pout on.
Like the others who are shouting 'bout lost pennies in their pots!
IwishthatIcouldrushtoyouandmakeitokay,
ButIcan'tdothatbecauseyou'renotfeelingthatway .
IwishthatIcouldrushtoyouandmakeitokay,
ButIcan'tdothatbecauseyou'renotfeelingthatway .
You rather whine about these times.
Just sitting on your backside finding time to sigh.
You rather whine about these times.
Just sitting on your backside finding time to sigh.
You rather whine about these times.
Just sitting on your backside finding time to sigh.
You rather whine about these times.
Just sitting on your backside finding time to sigh.
Pout on.
Pout on.
Like the others who are shouting 'bout lost pennies in their pots!
IwishthatIcouldrushtoyouandmakeitokay,
ButIcan'tdothatbecauseyou'renotfeelingthatway .
You rather whine about these times.
Just sitting on your backside finding time to sigh.
Pout on.
Pout on.
Like the others who are shouting 'bout lost pennies in their pots!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Who The Hell Is Charles?
wrinkled and unshaven and foul
charles takes pride
that two women quarelled
over his underwear
just this
morning after he just
woke up
from his drunken sleep
last night
he smiles in a corner
and prides
himself about these crazy women
competing
for the big bulge
between his hairy legs
he is 58
and his abs are gone
his legs shaky
and his chest
looks like empty
he laughs
at these women
pulling their hair
and tearing their blouses
and hitting each other
with stilleto shoes
(common charles
how much money did you pay
for each whore
on this
midlife crisis of your
what the hell
is this charles!)
your wife
left you, and there you are
padding
your brief with fresh
eggplant and throwing
your money
to these cheap whores
at the pub)
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Diane
Everywhere
In this old place
Packed with rednecks
Cowboys, dust and sweat
They speak
In low tones about Diane
Because she’s so wild
But I’m sure it’s the vodka
I’ve been serving her
She keeps
Ambushing me behind the bar
Like we’re playing
Cowboys and Indians
I’m losing of course
But I like the fifty some bucks
She’s shoved down my pants
Diane has
Misdeeds in her eyes
Whirling and twirling
With every man in the bar
As she looks
Outside her wedding ring
Late in the crisis of her life
Somewhere
She bent her ear
To fortunes muse
Who whispered so softly
As truth laughed
While times hourglass
Keeps sifting away
As lonely waits
Dressed in black
Crisis King
If youre inclined to complain
It doesnt matter, hes got greater pain
Any crisis takes its toll
Then hell get down, let the bad times roll
Youll never go down fighting
Youll just go down
The crisis king is mighty
In a crisis showdown
The sole provision he needs to live
Is what he can take, hes got nothing
To give
Youll never go down fighting
Youll just go down
The crisis king is mighty
In a crisis showdown
song performed by by Helmet
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fruit And Nutter
I know some of my poems can be a bit absurd.
All you have to do is look at who writes them
he is a bit absurd too.
Anyone who plays Cowboys and Indians
at the age of sixty something
has to be a bit of a fruit and nutter.
However, saying all that
I really play Preachers and Indians
with a couple of sermons
thrown in for good measure.
They gave me the tag of Dodgy Dave,
the wife says it is because I dodge the Hoover,
but it’s because everyone thinks
I’m a bit of a fruit and nutter.
I stumble over my own sermons
and get locked up in jail for that
especially when I cannot read
what I’ve just written.
I have weird sense of humour
and all you have to do is ask my friends about that.
I have a saying
if you don’t come to my church,
my church will come to you
when you’re not looking.
When friends see me with a wicked grin
they know there’s a gag a foot
so they run and hide
and I wonder why.
What do I care
I’m just a fruit and nutter
and having a lot of fun with that.
11 September 2009
poem by David Harris
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The ape does not see his own backside, he Sees his companion's.
A person can never run so fast as to run away from his backside.
As we reach midlife . we are not prepared for the idea that time can run out on us, or for the startling truth that if we don't hurry to pursue our own definition of a meaningful existence, life can become a repetition of trivial maintenance duties.
quote by Gail Sheehy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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