Related quotes: I can grasp your pain...

Shattered Dream

I can grasp your pain and helplessness as I
Gaze into your eyes,
Round as globes, though always tear-filled,
Masking the green,
Turning hazel in the sunlight's shadows…
Hidden behind mountains of despair,
That façade you often don -
Friendly and with that smile,
Broad and beautiful as a river, meandering -
Often a lead-hued cloud would pass between our glances-
I have often tried with my hand, outstretched
To touch your spirit, lithe and vulnerable as it can be-
Your strength that comes from your love and faith in God, although
Fragile as the dance of a yearling it may be-
I had never known love until the day that you
Pulled the blinds - though slightly, to
Let me touch your heart.
Light has always scintillated within your pupils as
Mine- blackened with fear and suspicion of the rest of t he world -
You I never feared.
I was none but a young fawn alive in the wild
Leaping away from a world that still terrifies me-
I lived alone in a world I had erected for myself and had
Built out of my fondest reverie as
I had long ago lost my flagging grasp on reality.
This planet was spinning too quickly for us-
We opened windows and doors to allow love to enter, and
With trepidation, we would close them again.
Your kiss was mesmerizing as your petal-soft lips would
Brush against mine in such a cherished and non-threatening way-
I recall, though sadly, the night that cloud darkened and
Thunder had clapped between us.
You chained the door behind you and left me standing, terrified.
I can still hear the screaming of your tears echoing throughout the room-
I kept my stance as a stone never weathered, as
I held within glaciers of tears, never cried.
I recall the sight of your coffee-colored tresses
Falling around your naiad- like countenance -
So lovely and feminine in all of your ways-
You are still the passing comet that enlightens my universe- as confined as it may be-
I had tried and tried to push stones aside to make a home for us.
I held in my cupped hands petals of a carnation,
Red as the rage that tears me apart inside, always present in my own pain-
You are more than a carnation to me, but a peace-rose,
Swaying gracefully in a spring zephyr…
I shall never open my gateway to let amity enter again.
Falling hailstones are keeping me safe inside my own phantasmal world where
I can converse with the voices inhabiting my mind.
Disillusioned, I gaze outside my window as I watch snowflakes
Falling and melting before they touch the ground and
The very thought of your presence shall always make my
Tormented heart keeps on beating though in a bittersweet and remorseful way.
Solitude has never felt so safe since I have locked myself in
My own small world forever, as it spins madly about my eternal star.
I hope that when I die I shall leave behind me all of the
Nightmarish memories of my delusive world-
You are still my star, though from some different galaxy.
Face to face we met and hand in hand we were joined and it felt so right but became so wrong, and often I have wondered how love and pain so miserably clashing
Never moved me to tears until this day…
I hold agony, wrath and guilt pent up inside my breaking heart-
How these feelings have wronged us?
My nightingale, my beautiful wild rose,
A part of me shall always cherish you, my brightly blazing comet always present -
Somewhere in the back of my mind sheds a little light upon my inner space.
I have taken each and every moment in time to turn back the clock and to
Collect the fallen foundation we once stood upon, though unstable,
Our eyes were blinded by fate and hope for a future we both desired.
My soul shall remain padlocked inside my mind where the only life I can envision is to
Live in my own small world as it rapidly spins revolutions around my own bright star-
Light as dim as a votive candle with the hope that I may continue my solitary walk
Through the darkness after that flame burns out, and that
Dreams, memories and hope for both of us shall always persevere-
Our worlds, so complicated and so very different s they may be-
Light, love and prayer- Oh, such beautiful and promising words, they are…

Claudia Krizay

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Where Darkness Prevails

Outside my window- only darkness prevails and inside my bedroom
Shadows flutter about the walls-
Light has evaded every corner, the floors, and the ceiling and I know that
Even though my thoughts, misconstrued inside my own mind and
Yesterday seems as an eternity passed-
I never have been able to perceive what tomorrow may bring-
As I lie here in bleak darkness I hold onto the present moment
As it was a string to a kite
Ready to escape and disappear into the heavens-
Voices I can hear are none but a figment of my imagination and
Shadows have become ghosts that are threats to my existence-
It seemed as if none but a few hours ago- My spirit, lithe and free,
Had much hope for what tomorrow would bring and
Somehow that hope has vanished in the darkness-
Leaving me alone, terrified and trusting none but
The thoughts that run rampant inside of me-
Life is a mystery to me and how
The sun, a rainbow and laughter can turn to
Rain pouring from the darkest clouds in the universe,
And inside of my mind
That feeling of freedom and happiness has transformed to
Mistrust, anger and my grasp onto reality, flagging?
If I could only find a star in this prevailing darkness
That lurks outside my window I could wish upon that star for
Rejuvenation of peace and hope for a future –I would-
But now I hear torrents of rain falling outside that could just as well be
Tears from angel’s fury and betrayal?
The moon is full on this night and inside the world of my reflections
As old tales have declared- if I were to dance outside
Beneath the moon on this night, my sanity would be lost
In a gust of wind and my sprit would be reborn in another world,
Lithe and free as could be- in some other dimension, place and time
There would be a sun that would rise for me alone-
Time has evaded me and I believe I am holding onto that kite’s string
Soaring upward in the sky living for none but the present moment
Ready to escape and disappear into the heavens- where
Darkness has become none but a delusion?

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Outside My Picture Window

It has been said that there is a world outside my picture window and
Beyond the trees I see everyday and the sky, sometimes overcast and
Other days, when the sun rises early- I can see the sky and have often wondered if
There exists another world within our universe- I know that
There exists a world inside of my mind and
My pupils are the windows into which
People would look if I were to venture outward?
Beyond the sky, and beyond the sun-
Beyond that world inside my mind,
I would never know where there exists a place for me-
Last night outside of my window
I could see the stars- stars mean different things to different people as
Does the sun, the trees and this whole world outside-
The world inside my mind revolves about
The sun that shines upon my own horizon and
As for this world outside, all I can do is look- and to
See a tree, perhaps a single cloud and the grass that grows-
I have shut my mind to the people who live beyond
The trees, clouds and the grass that I can see-
That window opens to the world inside of my thoughts-
I have just shut and pulled the curtain to discourage all intruders-
I am lying by my window in total darkness now as I place my hand over my eyes,
Shutting out reality and now I can see mountains, flowering trees and
A creek flowing in which I can see my reflection and
I am running upon the grass that grows beneath my feet-
I believe I heard music playing inside the fortress of my mind-
It has been said there is a world outside and I have pulled the curtain
To the window once opened to veracity-
Darkness has never looked as beautiful as I am safe here in my solitude-
Even when the stars are shining and the sky is such a magnificent sight to see-
No place is as exquisite as the creek that runs through my inner space and
The sun inside the world of my thoughts that shines upon my horizon?
The stars are far away and all that is real, though just outside my picture window
I perceive as too far away for me to reach- I would touch the stars and I could be a dove
That can lift my wings and fly away from all that threatens, but only inside my dreams-
Children sing songs and read fairy tales and they believe and I believe that
The sun shines light upon their worlds and
Someday their dreams shall blossom as has mine and shall become their homes-
Home is the safe place inside a person's mind, not within the madding crowd that
Exists outside my picture window- even if the stars are always there- and
That unique and special sun shall just keep on shining upon the world of my dreams….

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Threat

Somebody locked the door last night, while
Veracity and unreality had been
In that moment indistinguishable-
In the past as a young and innocent child,
Overwhelmed by
Spoken words nobody else could hear-
Sights nobody else could see- and
Insects crawling up and down my limbs-
Lost inside the world of my delusiveness
Nobody believed my plight and
Rain could fall upon my foundation as invisible to
The rest of the world-
There was no recourse to the fear- or the
Thoughts unbound and windswept by a tornado
As they could be-
There was no recourse to the fear-
Somebody locked the door last night-
When all hope had been pilfered I believed that
My soul had been set afire-
My wishes were none but pipe dreams where there was
No place to run, no place to hide from
Fear, suspicion and rage that
Damaged the very heart, mind and spirit of me-
A prisoner inside this space of life-
This is the box they put me in,
With no recourse to the pain-
Dreams they had for me-
High hopes for a life of fame and fortune-
Though only in their eyes-
I never grew to become a princess, but
None but a prisoner of war-
That is, the war that raged inside of me-
A battle lost and shattered dreams-
Rain, snow, sleet and hail are falling upon
My foundation, weakened and drowning in the midst of
The world of my thoughts in conglomeration
Of commanding voices, and feelings out of control,
Irrational in the eyes of others-
Incoherent even in the eyes of God-
God has forsaken me, my prayers in despair unanswered-
This is the box they put me in.
Unrelenting rage- I am counting every second-
Grasping for hope, reaching for a star to wish upon-
Chained to a wall and behind iron bars, though phantasmal-
The feeling of confinement and helplessness-
Painfully incomprehensible-
There is no recourse to the fear.
There is no recourse to the darkness and
I am blinded by a mask of never ending terror-
I have searched for an exit from this tenement of bleakness-though
The walls are insurmountable-
With no recourse to this battle I have fought every day of my life and
This is the box they put me in- which
Somebody has locked the door to and
Thrown away the key.

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Theres Only One

Theres a thousand ways to tell you whats weighin on my mind
On this heart shaped rock at lovers peak above the city lights
I take off my jacket, put it around you and watch you close your eyes
Your hand feels so warm like your breath on my face
These words that I have been holdin back
Have found the perfect time and place
Theres only one, wish I make each time I see a falling star
Theres only one, place I wanna be and that is where you are
Theres only one, man in this world who can love you like I do
You know we only get one life, and I wanna spend mine with you
One
Through the silence all I hear is one dry autumn leaf
Falling like my careful heart, then landing at your feet
I clear my nervous throat, sit here and hope and pray where this will lead
Once in every lifetime someone comes along
I guess Im trying to say that someones you, and I know where I belong
Theres only one, thing thats missin that will make my life complete
Theres only one, time with all my heart Ive known whats meant to be
Theres only one, man in this world who can love you like I do
You know we only get one life, and I wanna spend mine with you
One
It feels like more than just the moon is shinin down on us
And the tears in your smile say you love me as much
Theres only one kiss I long to feel my lips at night
Theres only one body that I want to hold until I die
Theres only one soul Ive ever really felt connected to
You know we only get one life and I wanna spend mine with you
Theres only one, wish I can make each time I see a falling star
Theres only one, place I wanna be and that is where you are
Theres only one, man in this world who can love you like I do
You know we only get one life
And I wanna spend mine with you, theres only one

song performed by by Yankee Grey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Theres Only One

song performed by by Yankee Grey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A True Mom

From childhood memories of band aids and skinned knees,
To those of losing myself to another world,
You were always there for me.
You were the mother in my heart,
The one who tucked me in bed at night, and the one who listened to my tears.
You held my hand when we crossed the street, and when
I crossed that bridge from sanity to unreality.
At that moment when I began to lose myself-
You stood before me with open arms.
In my make believe world, I was a little girl at twenty one-
This nobody understood, but you showered me with your love-
The mother of my dreams- you were not make believe.
I would give you dandelion stems, their thistles gone, or
A thorny and wilted rose- and to you- they were always beautiful.
My aunt, my mother, and my sister you were
But most important, my best friend.
In those moments when I mistrusted that world
Spinning out of control, in your world, I believed.
Your house was my castle, my sanctuary, and my safe haven.
Last week you told me that you were leaving this world-
The lights are dimming as thunder claps, and with a
Gust of wind, you shall be gone…
You shall always be the mother
I carry safely inside my heart.
Day turns to night, dawn to dusk, and after the sunsets,
I am left here in the darkness wondering
Where those dandelion thistles are dancing now?
I am certain that you shall remember how beautiful
Their stem was the day I gave it to you,
My mother of my heart, soul and spirit.
When they tear your house down,
In my thoughts my palace shall forever remain.
It was there that court jesters made me laugh, and
From a little princess I grew to become a queen.
If your rays of hope and light had not
Shone upon my desperate and wounded soul,
A pauper without a place or home
In this world, I may be.
After you are gone, I know that deep inside
That your spirit shall always live on,
Bandaging my skinned knees and
Listening with close attention to my tears…

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Connection

There exists an ethereal connection
Between you and I and in actuality,
There has always been,
Although perhaps it was not openly visible and before
There was any awareness-
Day after day you and I would
Walk past one another, and
I always thought of you s being a gentle soul,
Never invasive, never threatening-
I may have been as gentle, though more
Fearful and elusive,
As sand would slip between my fingers-
Out worlds so similar, never clashing, but
Then I could not foresee-
We both hid within the places of our madness,
Locking doors and hiding for safety-
I would pass by your door where you were none but a
Prisoner inside your delusional world, and
I could hear your tears screaming,
Sometimes late at night or in the
Very early morning-
You may have passed by my door as well, although
My tears were silent as
A dove would whisper- but somehow my pain
Was never hidden as if you had always known
That dove had a broken wing-
It was the two of us- eighteen years ago and today,
It is you and I in the present -
But sometimes desperate moments would blind our fate and
Sand no longer falls between my fingers but held firmly as from which
I build a castle in which
I can now live comfortably-
Your hand holds mine, often figuratively and the bond between us is constant-
I finally opened the door at first none but a crack, and
I let you inside, opening my heart and between my arms,
To a warm embrace-
At this moment in flesh you are a few miles away, although
I feel the closeness intensifying within each given moment and an
Upsurge of joy of having a friendship and knowing that
It shall last for ever- I feel your hand in mine and
Your arm, about my waist, and that feeling is constant as a
Moonlit night, not garish as the light exuded by the sun-
The caress of your mesmerizing and beautiful spirit is always nearby,
Behind me and before me- and on that and blustery winter’s day-
It is and was you and I together…
Eighteen years have past and it is still you and I together walking
Amidst wild violets blossoming on a warm summer’s day-
It is you and I sharing hope and love as well as
Each others' pain-
Our tears would mingle and inter mesh, then vanish within
A late spring’s zephyr-
You and I had shared misfortune and despair as we
Would lose ourselves to other worlds.
We have collected our fallen foundations, taken them and
Rebuilt our lives into promising futures-
I can hear music emanating from the sky as
I watch the sun dancing where the horizon begins and ends-
These are indeed God’s gifts, as is
The unique gift of our friendship-
I look up towards the sky and thank God for this
Irreplaceable gift-
That gift of you and I
Walking along that pathway of trust and a promising future of healing-
That bond of friendship between us-
You and I, together-
For always-

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Streets I have Walked

As I walk the streets of
Ill-fated expectations-
I have often crossed
Over to the other side
Of that street that leads to
Misfortune, and at best
Oblivion-
The streets I have walked before have always
Lead to nowhere-
I hear the sound of footsteps behind me and
Voices speaking in some foreign tongue-
My eyes meet with those of strangers-
Unsmiling and threatening –
I lose myself inside the world of my dreams-
Inside this world I deny access by intruders-
This place I carry with me with each and every step-
I hear thunder and the sound of beating drums
Resonating inside of my mind-
Fearful and suspicious- I break into a run.
In my time I have walked many streets and
Have never found my place in this world
Madly spinning about my own bright star-
As the sun sets, I realize that light is shining hope and peace
Over the street I once believed lead to
Misfortune and oblivion-
In this life I have walked many streets before
Not knowing in which direction or
Where these streets have lead to-
I find myself in the midst of nowhere,
But there is no turning back, as I have
Already crossed over to the other side-
All that I have left is that one bright star to guide me-
Lost inside this world of my thoughts, I wish upon that star
With hope that I may find myself someday-
So I shall keep walking the streets paved before me until
I find the one that reaches my destination-
My guiding light is my inner strength-I now realize and
That light is brighter than the sun or any star and shines with
Every step I walk- and on the day the sun burns out and stars
Cease to exist- this strength I carry within shall forever be the torch that
Guides me-

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Long ago, a star
Sent forth its light from afar.
And now, no matter how far,
We will follow the same star.
Lost sailors used stars
To calculate their course
Whenever the wind and waves took
Them with their force.

Let truth transform you;
It will make your heart and mind new.
If you're not faithful, your heart's in denial;
Take it from me - it's worth your while.
So forget this world with all its cares,
For troubled dreams turn into nightmares.
You have to leave this world behind
If you want to keep what you find.

The stars haven't always been there,
But the love of our Lord is everywhere.
The devil appears as an angel of light;
He does his best work in the night.
One day you'll leave this world of ours,
Taking your place among the stars.
Shine bright with light, my star;
Show the world who you are.

'SHARE THE SAME STAR'
I'm looking at this star tonight,
But will my wish come true?
I can't help wondering,
If you can see the same star too?
Do you see what I see,
As we stand in its light?
Does darkness overwhelm you,
When you look up there tonight?

I am dreaming in the darkness,
About this star that shines above.
I hope that you'll find me,
Looking for true love.
I've wished upon this special star
For my whole life, it seems.
I close my eyes and make a wish
For all my hopes and dreams.

One day, I got my wish;
I finally met you.
You're that special someone,
Who made my dreams come true.
They say you should never tell
What you wish for, it's true,
But I want the whole world to know
That my wish was for you.

Though there are miles between us,
I know our hearts will meet.
At the point this star begins,
The two will have one beat.
Whenever we are apart,
I find that same bright star.
It makes me feel close to your heart,
No matter where you are.

'WISH ON A STAR'
As I wait here, wondering where you are,
I lie in loneliness and look up at the stars.
Soaring on through space like a shooting star,
Still searching - wondering who you are.

As far as you can see into eternity,
Each one is a wish that with you I'll be.
Stare at the sky, on a silent night;
Count the crystal sea of stars, blazing bright.

Staying by your side wherever you may go,
I have to tell you now - I just want you to know
That even as the stars keep shining in the sky,
My love for you will burn forever and never die.

There's just something beautiful about when angels pray;
A star shines brighter in the night than the light of day.
You can't lift a candle to show lost souls the way
Without feeling the warmth of that radiant ray.

'SHINE BRIGHT WITH LIGHT'
Up in heaven, the angels cry;
Another star falls from the sky.
A falling star - a fading light,
And soon it shall pass from our sight.

When the world starts falling apart,
The hope of heaven is hidden in my heart.
I'll make the world a brighter place,
Like the light of a star in space.

Someday, we'll be just like the angels are;
Like the steady light of a distant star.
Someday soon, we'll shine like them,
Radiant as the rarest, glowing gem.

Sing to the stars - sing to the sea;
Let your song echo for eternity.
Truth our hearts alone can see,
A reflection of reality.

'EACH NIGHT I PRAY'
Walking outside, I lift my eyes
To a symphony in the skies.
You are my star - you shine so bright;
When it is dark, you are my light.

Everyday, I'm so grateful
For your warm and glowing light.
Thank you for being so faithful;
You make my whole world bright.

Just like a star, you're so far away.
I think of you - each night I pray,
But I know there's no way
For you to hear the words I say.

I see you in the sky at night,
But I can't touch the star in sight.
I guess I will always be
A friend you will never see.

'WISH YOU WERE HERE'
One night I was out wandering,
Feeling lost and alone.
I looked up into the heavens,
And there a bright star shone.

I picked one to wish on
From every star above.
I closed my eyes and made a wish
To send you all my love.

So look up in the sky tonight
And find that star;
It will shine bright with light,
However near or far.

And when you see our star,
My wish will come to you;
Stars were made to wish upon;
Sometimes wishes come true.

'I SAW THE LIGHT'
I saw a bright ray today
That led me out of darkness.
A little light so far away
In an endless sea of emptiness.

It burned like a shooting star,
In the distance, so very far.
I think it’s getting clearer;
Now it's coming nearer.

A light just as bright as the sun
And almost as distant;
It wasn’t the only one;
You couldn't have missed it.

When I'm lost in the dark and I can't see,0
I just look for the light.
I have hope when it shines on me,
Everything will be bright.

'YOU ARE MY LIGHT'
I looked up at the stars last night,
Just thinking about you,
And wondering what I could do
To make our dreams come true.

Together, we’ll shine like the sun;
Two candles burn brighter than one.
We'll dance just like the stars in space,
Together forever in an endless embrace.

Wherever you go, I will follow;
And it doesn't matter how far.
Without you, my heart feels hollow;
I just want to be where you are.

You shine just like a star so bright;
I'd be lost without your light.
Hand in hand, we'll stand together;
I promise to be there forever.

'A STAR IS BORN'
Every star is destined by fate
To live and then to die.
It glows with light - it just can't wait,
Shooting across the sky.

For a moment, it is there,
Burning bright up in the air.
It falls gently onto the ground,
Without making a sound.

Like a falling star,
Glowing bright with glory,
I'm just another ending
To someone else's story.

Just a dropp of rain in the desert,
Just a grain of sand in the sea;
What have I done that won’t be forgotten?
Will anyone remember me?

'SHINE LIKE A STAR'
I look up at the sky;
It hurts so much saying goodbye.
Every time I think of you,
It makes me want to cry.

Hope is not hope if you can see;
Is there a star that shines for me?
Like a star, you showed me the way;
You led me with your light each day.

I'll say a prayer for you;
I'll make a wish and I hope it comes true.
Put your faith in what you can't see;
I wish you could be here with me.

Sometimes I wish I could be
A star to shine for all to see.
I know the light is not my own;
I could never do it alone.

'YOU ARE MY STAR'
You are my star,
So bright up above;
I can't forget it;
It's you I love.

My star will shine
So bright and true.
It's a light in the night
Made just for you.

When you are lost,
Wherever you may be,
Look for the light,
For it will set you free.

Don't hide your light,
Wherever you are;
Let it burn bright,
Just like a star.

'A SEA OF STARS'
A life is lost;
What can we say?
A bright light burns,
Then it fades away.

And at the sight,
They stop and stare
On this dark night,
But they don't care.

It came and went;
I'm not sure what it meant.
A star fell from the sky,
And I want to know why.

Just for you,
This star fell;
You have one wish,
So use it well.

poem by Daniel Cobb
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Candle of Hope

Lost within space and time,
I am running, as I am
Following the stars before me-

Inside of my mind,
All I can see are moments of madness.
My hair, blowing in the wind, behind me, as I
Dash away from all that I fear,

My thoughts are far away from
Every moment in time,
As I am searching for a ray of hope to hold onto as
None of my dreams have ever
Come true-

If I could light a candle,
Perhaps its flame would guide me towards a miracle-
A miracle of my most promising fantasies becoming reality-
Where the darkness of night
Would transform to the levity of daybreak at sunrise-

I am lost in space and time, where
My world continues to darken-
Life has always been a bizarre journey for me where
Hope has yet to be found-

It is the stars that have given me an increment of light,
Illuminating a pathway before me, to give me
Some small hope that I would awaken
In some other world where
Love, fortune and peace of mind would
Overshadow mistrust and sadness-

I whisper in thought, somewhere in the back of my mind-
Light me a candle with a flame so bright,
That will break through dark clouds of doubt-
Whereby I would be running forward in time,
Finding wealth, joy, and hope never ending
As the flame on that candle
Would burn for an eternity
Only to guide me forward, not backward,
Leaving that life of misfortune behind me-

Claudia Krizay

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Innerspace

The moon was full last night
Enlightening the midnight sky-
My inner demons were dancing
Fighting ghosts from hell-

I tell myself
“Someday you will find peace of mind and
Someday you shall find yourself-“
I cannot recall the day
I had fallen off that mountain
I was climbing trying to gain control-
I found myself falling, falling and falling-
Into a prison where the floors were tiled,
Walls were white but stained-
I can still hear sirens screaming and the
Pounding upon the walls-

I remember that room
Inside which I was locked and blinded by
The darkness overshadowing-
I begged for help with my heart wide open-
Figuratively bleeding tears of despair- as I heard
Voices threatening to kill me-
Echoing about the chamber of madness
Inside of which I was trapped-

Miles from reality-this place where
Whereas a prisoner inside of my mind, I was climbing that stairway from hell-
With no destination,
Falling, falling and falling-
Into bedlam-

I can only recall
Lying upon a mattress sadly torn,
Springs jutting outward into my back as
My body rocked
Backward and forward
Backward and forward
With monotonous regularity-

The moon was full last night-
It has often been said allegorically that
People lose their sanity dancing beneath
The light of the moon-

Following the path of a comet in some
Figment of my imagination as
My search continues to find out who I am-
As the moon disappears on the horizon
The sun rises over the mountains-
I see the light-
I hear a voice-
All I can do is to keep on dancing-
Dancing as I hope that
My Dionysian spirit
Shall set me free someday…

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Have You Ever?

Without compassion, I gaze into your tear-filled eyes, I ask you
“Have you ever fallen and hurt yourself, ”, or
“Have you ever been in love and lost-or have you ever been trapped
Inside of a blizzard of snow, while the snow outside is falling
So hard that you couldn’t see the trees or even the sky-, it is only raining now and
You are inside your home, safe and free from outside intruders-
I have fallen in love and lost, while you are weeping, seemingly without reason?
I never have seen you running outside and having fallen,
Neither crying over the loss of a loved one? ”
Now, as I listen I can hear you say to me-
“Don’t turn your head or close your eyes while my tears are falling-
Don’t laugh while I pick up the pieces of my shattered past-“
Then I hear you ask-“have you ever been hurt inside by voices
Wishing you nothing but harm, voices you say talk only to you
That no one else can hear? ” and
“Can you fathom being locked inside an empty room alone,
Only because you couldn’t stop screaming-
You have loved and lost, though I have never been loved at all before, and
I see the snow falling in torrents in this moment-
As in this moment I am losing myself inside
A blizzard of madness as I fall into a trap of my own delusions, ” then
With anxious eyes gazing aimlessly downward, you question
“Have you ever seen snakes crawling up you bedside or
Have you ever been trapped within moments of madness?
Where fate has thrown the key to the wind? ”, then,
“Listen to the wind screaming and see my tears falling as would
A downpour in a summer storm- lightening strikes between us and
To you, it comes, illuminates the darkness and disappears, while
To me it tells me that this world I have been so cruelly born in is not a safe place-“
“Don’t speak to me of lost love and skinned knees as the snow falls
Painting a beautiful picture for you of a winter’s wonderland-
My world has just caved in and I have yet to see the stars-
I would ride upon the tail of a shooting star if I only could
To travel to another planet where nobody threatens me-
This is none but a dream and most of my past dreams have been nightmares-
The snow is falling in torrents and while you can’t see the sky,
I am only thankful that at this moment in time, I cannot see the demons
That persecute me day and night- though only for this brief moment-
You were once a child with a broken leg that has healed and
I see you running marathons of delight while
I am a bird with a broken wing that cannot ever fly.”

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hard Times

I vaguely recall some of my childhood days, although
If I had to relive those days I do remember
I would have chosen to be born under a different star-

Lying upon the cold tiled bathroom floor dying was
My father on a warm early spring day and
Lying unconscious in the intensive care ward dying
Just five months later, lay my mother.

Sunlight would be creeping through the bedroom window,
Some twenty years later, as I stood by the bathroom door,
Screaming out in utter frustration and despair,
Trying to discern what was real from the shadows inside of my mind,
While all of the anger of my past and present days
Flooded my thoughts as would a raging storm on a summer’s eve-

I stood as still as the broken lamppost leaning upon the living room wall,
Trapped inside a tenement of anger and mistrust,
Fighting the tears that were flowing as rapidly as a downhill stream,
All of the rage tearing my soul apart as my heart was locked
Inside of a metal vault as my thoughts were weaving in and out of veracity.

If I could I would release my heart from that vault as
The feelings it contained were agonizing as if
A sword had stabbed and was twisting back and forth, with no relief
From the pain of past memories, as vague as they were-

Nearly fifty years have passed since I walked on the beach
Beneath the shade of palm trees, kicking the sand on the shore,
watching the sun set and then rise over the mountains and
Those nights when the full moon illuminated the sky-
I recall roses in full bloom in my father’s garden, and those days I
Walked along the wooded trail,
watching the deer running through the forest-

Recollections were overshadowed by nightmares,
visions and threatening voices
That plagued my mind with monotonous regularity-
It was only a week ago I lay upon a cold metal table
Breathing oxygen from a rubber mask as I drifted off to sleep,
An electric current passed through my brain
Sending me to some other realm into which I would awaken an hour later-

Seemingly in a different place and time I could not recall
The details of my childhood’s pain,
as my heart remained locked and keyed
Inside that iron vault-
Inside of my phantasmal space, I keep a key that
Could unlock many doors, one being the door to that magical world
Inside which I once lived to escape all of the pain of reality
That has torn my spirit to pieces-

My screams have been silenced and nobody has heard
My cry for help, and now I am alone inside of the world of my thoughts,
Singing the words to my favorite song-
“Stay alive and hold onto your dreams”-
I hold my dreams close to my heart, soul and mind because
My dreams are all that I have left-

Claudia Krizay

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Journey Towards Salvation

If I were one of the robins- many which I have beheld or
A fawn in the wild-
I would fly above the towering trees or
Freely run across the trail
I walk every day and I run or fly
Only because my soul has been
Betrayed and my spirit, terrorized-
Up high above in the trees
I would touch the sky before the rain
Began to fall upon the essence of time and
My hope would be for the rain to wash away my fears,
Drowning them in the abyss of nature-
To realize I am none but a wounded spirit,
Who can only walk this path and at the spur of
A fleeting moment break into a run- as
I search beneath fallen branches and as
I adore the flowers- daffodils donning their
Golden attire and roses with their delicate fragrances-
I would search for what some have deemed deadly silence but from
A glance from my ebony-hued eyes, never deadly but
From the heart of life’s treasures-
Some peace of mind and blessed solitude-
This path I walk is mine alone and those who follow behind or
Walk slowly before me have robbed me of my feeling of
Wellbeing as I have called myself often a solitary princess,
Robed in my phantasmal armor-
Somehow the voices of others threaten as they whisper callously or
Laugh ruthlessly - the voices only I can hear have often been
Accusatory or commanding but do not evoke the rage that
Evolves from my inner core of the space invaders, so toxic to my vicinity –
As I approach civilization, I can hear children screaming and
My utmost fantasy would be to aim a gun and fire-
It would joyfully mean the end of all humanity and I would be left alone-
Alone in my world, my safe space, revolving about a sun that shines
It’s light upon my once darkening world- if there is a God I pray for
Salvation from the pain that I feel so profoundly, the madness
That separates me from reality and to see this world and its inhabitants
In a different light would be a blessing in many ways-
But now I can only become an eagle of mercy calling upon myself to
Lift my imaginary wings and to soar away from veracity until the day
The rain stops falling and there will be no clouds to hide beneath-
Voices of others shall become welcome, kind and inviting, although
In a non menacing way- or as a robin flying above the treetops
Looking down at the grassy fields below- innocent and not afraid-
I sit alone in my home, the doors chained but the curtains open- I see that
Rain is falling hard- I am a wounded sprit with some hope for alleviation
From all of the pain, despair and trepidation –
Meanwhile I still love the flowers, their beauty and delicate fragrances and
When the sun rises above the skyline I will walk slowly towards rejuvenation-
With hope to find a path to safely walk upon-
That courageous and hopeful part of my being believes that
One day I shall walk that path towards deliverance and serenity
In some other lifetime before another storm approaches-

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Red, Blue, Green and Gold

Silence somehow has entered this room where
This morning laughter had filled, I hardly know what to say but
I can hear my own tears screaming aloud- even though
I cannot see them falling- Red, blue, green and gold- Just about any color I can
See decorating the four walls that enclose me- All I can do is look and
All I can do is to try and remember yesterday as being close to God-
Now the doors have been locked- the doors to those dreams that kept my spirit alive-
That window into a once vivid imagination- and now a curtain has fallen and
I have lost the key to that door that has become a wall that separates-
I have been in love with silence- Devoured solitude as if
It was the food that kept me alive-
I danced amongst carnations and yellow peace roses
Every moment I looked into the world of my hallucinations?
Yesterday was another day as will be tomorrow-
I am trying to live one day at a time- I once rode a bus towards eternity-
That has come to a roadblock I cannot bypass-
Red, blue, green and gold- only colors but all I have left-
Decorating the walls inside which I find myself imprisoned-
Listening to the music of my spirit, then collapsing as I
Once again fall into that cesspool of insanity that had once before contained me?
Fighting the memories of lying upon a urine stained carpet inside
A room so rudely called “seclusion? ”
Or walking about some nowhere land as I have wept tears and
Have abandoned faith, hope and a will to stay alive?
Locked doors and broken windows, clouds obstructing the sun-
I cannot find the right words to say- my heart has been buried and
I find myself lying still- drifting away into another world-
Trying to escape from such a place that has been deemed by others as reality?
No hope, but a prayer, moments lost have turned to years of
Never ending frustration and truth to me as I lose myself into
That world everyone identifies as delusive?
Voices that tell me they want me to die and now rain turns to ice as I
Slip and fall into never abating madness?
Red, blue, green and gold- vibrant colors that kept my soul alive?
Red, blue, green, and gold- have become none but futile and
Colors of that rainbow that is part of somebody else’s world-
Yesterday is another day as is tomorrow- and today-
Today I ride a bus that is speeding down a highway to nowhere-
Has just crashed and here I lie- staring at the ceiling
Breathing oxygen from a rubber mask counting from one to ten and -
Red, blue, green and gold – have become none but elements of my dreams-
As I lose myself in some other place and time has become none but an illusion?

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Doors Are Locked

From inside of this room
I shall not exit
I have locked the doors
To the world outside.
It does not matter to me what is happening outside, because
Behind these locked doors
Is the world that I live in,
This land of my dreams that
I have fabricated for myself alone.
I recall my father recently reading me a story-
Of a woman who created a world within her dreams-
There she lived and locked herself
Inside of the doors that
Barred her from all that is real.
My father's hope was that
I would find my way out from
This place he called the land of my delusions.
This place which he calls the land of my delusions has become
My only veracity.
From the inside of this room
I shall not exit-it is here I safely converse with
The voices inside of my mind.
The doors to this room are locked, but
I can still hear my mother weeping, and
I hear my mother cry out from the midst of her tears-
What has become of my only child?
Inside of this room, I have constructed a world.
The doors are locked and
I have shut reality out-
The doors to my room are locked and
I have lost the key.
My mother is still weeping as her one and only
Has lost the key that would open the doors
To the world outside-
My mother is sobbing; the key is lost and alas-
Her only child's sanity has also been lost.

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Forever in My Dreams

Close to the morning hours before I awaken,
I find myself looking outside of the window of my dreams-
Sometimes amidst the bleak darkness, the full moon is rising above the treetops,
Stars are seemingly cascading behind mountains of far away places-
I hear footsteps faintly passing by, perhaps down the hallway of my fantasies-
Slowly my eyes would open and I find myself
Looking outside of the same window and
All I can see are shadows of trees that would be
Touching the sky within a figment of my imagination-
Close to the morning hours, close to the time that the world awakens,
I find myself lost in thought, disappearing into some other realm.
The full moon battles with the rising sun, stars shooting and seemingly cascading,
Saturn, Mars and Venus are dancing in rhythm to
The doleful and mystical song of the locusts screaming-
Inside the fortress of my thoughts,
I have made my home inside this kingdom in the sky-
In this place where the light of the moon is overpowered
By the rays of the early morning sun-
The colors of the sky are reborn- cyanotic blue and
Pearl-white clouds, seemingly tinted with gold,
Amidst the phantasmal waltz of my imagination,
I can hear voices familiar only to myself,
Shouting words that terrify and evoke moments of madness-
It has been said that reason can be affected by the light of the full moon
Before daybreak and I would ride bareback upon the tail of a shooting star
If I only could, as it would take me on a journey across the universe,
Perhaps to a safer place within this magical kingdom in the sky-
Close to the morning hours before I awaken,
I have lost myself inside a magnificent place of my own creation-
A place from which I would never leave if I could only wish upon a star-
This would be my utmost desire- as this lurid but dismal world
Into which I was born has not been kind to me-
As my memory becomes a vehicle traveling backward in time-
I can recall terrifying sights only I could see and threatening voices which
Only I could hear- within that moment that darkness transforms to dawn,
I find my spirit having been rudely snatched away from this place of my fondest reverie-
So I close my eyes and then I can see the stars once more, the moon and Saturn dancing-
And I begin to lose myself once again traveling across this pathway of my dreams-
Tears are falling from my eyes as they open because this vision can never become reality-
Tears would glisten with dewdrops upon the leaves upon the trees reflecting the
Early morning sunlight as I close my eyes once again and wish upon that star
As I would for always and forever in every passing thought…

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Carry a Single Rose

I carry a single red Rose
In my tightening hold
For Love is what it propose
At least it’s what I’m told.

It’s fragrance of beauty
Overtakes me with its great power
The air all around me
When I hold a single flower

I grasp the Red Rose ever more tight
Drip, drip red petals fall into the night.

This Rose, a lovely delight
Has already consumed my sense of smell
Now it has stolen my sight
In this symbol of love I dwell

The ruby red petals fill my eyes
Captures the thoughts in my mind
Now I am completely hypnotized
Now I am completely blind.

I grasp the Red Rose ever more tight
Drip, drip red petals fall into the night.

It dazzles me, until it is all I can see
It’s touch so gentle against my cheek
Trapped me inside this beautiful make believe
For my heart, Love it will always seek

The leaves run through my finger tip
As they map a stem so strong and tall
A stem that fit so nicely inside my grip
Its lushes strength adds beauty to it all

I grasp the Red Rose ever more tight
Drip, drip red petals fall into the night.

I hold on for dear life
As my body sets off painful alarms
And now I’m stuck in this strife
Of letting go and hanging on

It’s so perfect, inside my hold
But I can feel the world around me
I can feel it growing cold
Now I am leaving this make believe
I grasp the Red Rose ever more tight
Drip, drip red petals fall into the night.

In a moment of true disgust
I slowly loosen my grasp
And I take away my trust
And wait for my world to collapse

But Pain races through my bones
So I clench a Rose inside my fist
And I realize I am alone
Lost inside this confusing mist

I grasp the Red Rose ever more tight
Drip, drip red petals fall into the night.

And I finally swiftly let go
The Rose falls to the bloody ground
No longer shall my blood flow
No longer shall I be bound

And of this single Red Rose
Petals of Love blinded me to my Pain
Being neither friend nor foe
I wash the blood with tears like rain.

I leave the Rose with all my might
Run, run into the black cold night.

poem by Rose Lynn
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Magical World of My Dreams

A silver key has locked me inside my own world, where I have
Lost myself inside the shadows of my dreams-
As would a thundercloud, my tears are like the rain that falls-
The sky would clear and as the sun would re-emerge,
Perhaps there is some levity inside this place of my reverie-
Having lost my soul and my spirit following close behind as a
Fledgling bird may have flown by within a moments notice,
I hear the ticking of a clock rhythmically keeping time to
The motion of my steps slowly walking away from
The confusion, fear, and destitution of veracity-
I am none but a silhouette slipping through a crack in the door
Leading to this place of my flight of the imagination-
I have lost myself along the way I once believed was paved for me alone,
Though only lead me towards madness
And to a world so vast, frightening and unfamiliar-
Running backward down that very same path until I arrived at
That mystifying door that was open for me alone,
That door only I could enter with that magical silver key,
I could hear the songs of angels singing tunes of love, peace and faith-
Stepping with caution over the threshold of that door,
As I closed it gently but firmly behind me-
Here inside this place where there are no hills and trees grow
With leaves of silver and a creek runs through in all of its crystalline clarity-
The sun here is just bright enough to guide me down a
Path of hope- and the people in this place are not threatening and
Are true to their word, innocuous, caring and promising that
Here tears are golden and only shed for joy-
No room for sadness, disappointment and fear in this miraculous land,
This magnificent place where I have been reborn-
I own a silver key and a special paintbrush with which I have painted
A rainbow across a sky of cerulean blue- along with phantasmal seraphs
With unyielding strength I have pushed all clouds away.
I listen to the joyous tunes of cherubs’ singing- I can see the reflection of
Peace flowers dancing in a cool breeze before the sapphire-hued pond-
My spirit and soul I once believed lost has been found here-
I have locked the door between myself and what so many have deemed as reality
With that phantasmal silver key and thrown it to the wind.
So many have believed that painted rainbows, crystalline creeks and ponds of sapphire-
Songs of angels and trees bearing leaves of silver
Are none but figments of my imagination- I have in a sense lost myself
Inside a world of my delusions but having abandoned fear, sadness and dismay-
This new found peace of mind has become my new reality –as that silver key is
Blowing about in the wind somewhere, some place a long distance upward in the sky-
I know I am safe here inside the shadows of my dreams- knowing that
All clouds have disappeared, my tears
Which have fallen with the rain of past days, are forever gone…

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Magical Land of My Dreams

poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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