Paranoid Schizophrenia
I am looking ahead as so many are following behind me
Everyone's hands reaching out to hurt me somehow-
I feel are manipulating my thoughts-
People looking ahead and so many following behind me
On this mesmerizing spring-like day- I wonder why this world is
Out to menace and persecute me? A gentle breeze blows and dogwood is blossoming,
Daffodil stems rocking gently within a gentle gust of wind-
While the sky is cloudless and I can feel the warmth of the sun brightly shining, and as
Its rays are gently caressing my shoulders; all I can do is weep-
I am looking ahead as so many are following closer and closer behind me-
Though it couldn't be a more picturesque and
Amazingly beautiful day- This world is not a safe place to live in-
This world is replete with wicked, conniving souls
Who wish me none but harm and desire to only betray me-?
Walking before me everyone looks into my eyes as
My mind has become literature to the public-Solitude to me is the only safe key to
My existence in this cruel and threatening world, of which
I was born to be a sole survivor and
Three billion people wish me nothing but harm-
Looking ahead I see people glaring at me through their eyes
In the back of my head and I have nowhere to turn to find safety as
So many are following directly behind- Within a gentle gust of wind, I shall be gone-
A bird with a broken wing that is still able to fly-
I shall fly to the top of a maple tree and hide from the inhabitants
Of this planet that has done nothing but to ridicule me and
Invade my personal space-lack of trust and heightening fear has
Taken away any place I might have had in this world-
The warmth of the sun gently caresses my shoulders and
I am thankful that inside the world of my thoughts
I have become this bird who can fly away from this cruel world-
This cruel world that has taken me and locked me away-
This cruel world that has made it so I can only survive
Alone in an empty room, screaming and crying, begging for
Some freedom from pain and solace from anger?
Looking ahead and looking behind-waiting for a bomb to dropp upon
The world I have created for myself and as I listen to voices only I can hear-
I try to shut the world out- this world that is reading my thoughts through my eyes,
And following me wherever I go- being a bird with a broken wing,
I am grateful to be able to fly into the cloudless sky where no one can
Read my thoughts and follow me-
Within a gentle gust of wind I shall be gone, forever.
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Miracle
When the sky turns deep purple in color and the mountains appear
An unfathomable shade of magenta-
I see the sunlight sparkling upon the shadows in the creek below.
Sunlight would reflect against crystalline stones and the
Grass is greener than the eyes of a goddess-
There is not a sound to be heard in this moment except for a
Gentle breeze singing a tunefully angelic aria-
When there is not a single person within miles of
This magical place where I have found my spirit dancing-
I know I have nothing to fear.
Looking up into this lavender-hued sky I can see a bird
Soaring above the mountains- its wings shaded a mesmerizing essence of blue and
The feathers on its tail, yellow as sunlight upon a sandy beach-
My utmost and only desire is to be that bird,
Flapping my wings in a gentle gust of wind and looking down upon
This magical world below- I have always been a dreamer.
I hear voices singing songs of freedom and of the mysticism of nature-
I see blossoming flowers of a variety of colors and
I hear voices whispering to me of the miracles of this moment-
I know within my heart and my mind that I am alone and
These voices that I hear are emanating from the depths of my own mind, when
Solitude has never appeared so amazingly striking.
I see that bird flying high up in the sky above and within moments
I have become that bird- flapping my own wings and
Gazing at this vibrant world below me,
For a moment I am the queen of the world and in the next moment,
A deity of the entire universe- Veracity is seemingly thousands of miles away.
I have heard voices of my past telling me I am none but a pauper in a wretched state or
None but a fool who has lost her sanity-in these words I have never believed.
As I continue this tour of this phantasmal space about me,
I know I have found myself a home and the world beyond can attempt to
Tear my soul apart but I know deep inside that this is my reality-
Perhaps others do not hear and see the sounds and the sights that I envision-
However as long as I believe in all that I hear and see within my own thoughts,
What even millions of other people believe does not matter- for it is these people
Whom I believe are in a wretched state, and are still trying to find themselves-
I am queen of my world and have locked the gate to that world's threatening dismay-
I follow my shadow into that deep purple sky and I know that
The shadow of my spirit shall live on forever. I shall keep on moving
Further into the land of my dreams, only to look forward and never turning back.
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Two Worlds
Today is overcast- they say it will rain,
They said it would rain last night-
I was lost in thought when the thunder clapped-
Lightening brightened up the sky, though only for a moment-
Then darkness overtook the entire universe-
I am alone in my own world- that is my choice-
I see people everyday- outside of the world I was born in.
These people are strangers speaking a language I understand although
When words are put together in sentences- I cannot relate.
I am speaking of two worlds- one where millions live,
That unsafe, threatening place- and the world of my thoughts that I live in
Nearly all of the time- the one into which I surely believe
Is the one into which I was born, at the time, safe and sound.
Today is overcast- they say it shall rain-
They said it would rain last night, but when the raindrops
Splashed upon the edge of time, I was lost inside of that world of my own.
In that world of my own, where rain never falls,
In that world of my own, children are never born into.
Somebody stole me and brought me here- into the cruel and threatening place
Where millions of deranged and crazy people live-
Somehow, inside that world, I never fit in and
I feel I never belonged.
I would dance in the rain - the rain that they predicted-
I would dance and sing in this cruel world trying to cope until the sky would fall and
I would find myself in that sky, searching for the world into which I was born?
I am searching for always for that magical place that
Presently only exists inside the world of my thoughts.
Some years ago they took me and locked me inside a room they called 'Seclusion'-
A room dreaded by many to be locked inside-but I found peace of mind there,
If such a thing exists and in this room I could build my fantasies and dreams-
Until they released me back into that world that had not been kind to me.
Let it rain and let lightening strike-let the rain wash my tears away-
I guess I will keep dancing and singing in the rain until the sky falls or until
They take me away again and lock me in that room once more and there
I can lose myself into the world I created and listen to the rain fall as the sky falls-
While thunder claps- a beautiful sound that drowns out angry voices and
Lightening strikes, brightening a pathway where some day I dream,
I will find peace of mind without ever having to turn back time.
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Self Portrait
I can see this world in a different way- from this world I hid for many years.
Riding a ship towards some other galaxy,
Though only inside of my mind-
The rain would pour down upon the real world, and
In the mid winter the snow would fall, but
Lost in some other place in time, I only saw the sun.
I was a rare bird whose wings would carry me
High above the treetops, the mountains and
Even above the highest clouds,
Traveling far away from everybody and everything that was real.
Rain, sleet and hail would fall, though all I could see was a rainbow,
Glistening within the sky, high above the mountains-
I placed no trust in the people who walked upon the ground below,
Although it hardly mattered- I could always converse with those people
Who lived within the kingdom inside of my mind.
I would board a ship, its full sails to the wind,
Carrying me towards the world of my dreams-
Today I see the world in a different way-Now I see reality,
I see reality- hunger, war and people who threaten, and
All I can do is place my hands over my eyes, hoping to shut this cruel world out.
The ship I rode to some other place has been lost somewhere in the sky and
A rare bird, whose wings are now broken, I now see the world under a different light.
Somebody took me and locked me away last night and I have become
A prisoner inside of my own mind-upon that ship with fallen sails
I feel as if I am on a pathway headed towards nowhere-
I place my hands over my eyes. Attempting to hide from all that is real,
Unable to find peace of mind, unable to find my rainbow.
I find myself alone inside of an empty room, with no windows and a door that is locked-
I converse with the voices that speak to me inside of my mind-as
These, nobody can take them away from me and
They are all that is left of my dreams…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Early Spring
Spring seems to have come early this year- I have always welcomed blossoming flowers,
Longer days and the fresh warm air outdoors,
Perhaps the early timing exacerbated the fear, and is reminiscent of the
Time when my life took a turn towards terror and misery-
I saw a daffodil yesterday in full bloom- yet in the first week of February,
On that day, as in extreme frequency, my thinking was out of touch.
Today my heart is screaming, desperate for some peace and comfort,
While birds are singing outside as a gentle breeze blows as in a whisper,
Even trees are budding while everyone is laughing, although
My spirit is weeping as rage sears my gut, terrified of the world surrounding-
The pain of falling upon the hard ground this morning does not hurt me as much as
The agony I feel that emanates from all of the people that wish me harm-
Inside the world of my thoughts, everyone who is laughing is laughing at me- and
I would kill them all if I were not so afraid.
I am always shouting, though in silence at the cruel people that surround me,
No one can understand the severe pain of feeling persecuted every time that
I step outside and the inner irate confusion of
Not knowing what is real from what is not.
My heart and soul bleed anger and tears apart the person I am inside and
Even the gentle spring like breeze will not dry the tears I weep inside or outside,
I hardly know who I am anymore- the people in this world have threatened me and
As beautiful as all that surrounds me today- there is no place for me to hide.
The lone daffodil I see evokes a smile upon my face for the moment.
I would pick it and take it home with me but if I did,
It would wither and perish as has I believe my inner spirit has done,
Spring has always been my favorite time of year, although
Its arrival may be somewhat too soon, just as
I fear the death of my soul might have been premature-
I see myself as a lone flower that has blossomed in mid winter and
Is confused to be outside amongst shorter days, and barren trees,
If spring’s rain begins to fall my hope is that is shall wash away my tears and
Quench the flame that burns inside of me, then amidst longer days and that gentle breeze,
I can be as a bird, singing amongst other birds happy to be free of the rage that once
Separated me from the rest of the world as I lift my wings and fly high above the trees,
Looking down upon a world so exquisite which is no longer a threat to my existence?
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Eyes In Back Of My Head
Early this morning I am outside walking along the trail-
The wind blows my hair about-
Covering THE EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD-
I cannot see for the moment but I can feel-
I can feel the vibrations of heavy footsteps
Pounding against my brain in another gust of wind
Blowing my hair about- giving way to the
EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD-
I recognize the intruders who wish me harm.
Early this morning
I walk along the trail- I am in danger-people are following me
One, two and three-I count the footsteps-
Four five six- I see the people-
Evil conniving and threatening- behind me and
Seven, eight, nine more slowly walking in front of me-
My anger overwhelms me and the bitter cold wind
Only exacerbates my homicidal impulses-
I am dressed to kill these people who
Walk slowly ahead of me- space invaders
Whose footsteps are retaliating and
THE EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD-
Envision the whole world behind me-
Early this morning- I think of the gun shop I walked by downtown yesterday-
Ready to murder, I am- seething with rage-
Early this morning, I am walking along the trail-
I do not feel safe- I have lost my destination and
My sanity is precarious- people are all around me and
I am dressed to kill the entire multitude-
I have EYES IN BACK OF MY HEAD- I believe, and
As I count the people before me and behind me, and
As the cold wind blows my hair about- I know that
THE EYES IN BACK OF MY HEAD are protecting me and
Perhaps are keeping me safe and now I know that it is
THE EYES IN BACK OF MY HEAD whom are my saviors -
Bringing back memories of nightmarish delusions of
Threatening people in my past being God- I have no destination and
THE EYES IN BACK OF MY HEAD are my friends- and
My delusions, as others call them- are my saving grace.
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Through My Eyes
I believe-
I believe my thoughts are being broadcasted
I believe you can see my world through my eyes-
When your eyes are closed, I believe that you can hear my thoughts
My thoughts that speak of persecution and threat
These thoughts, as directed towards the rest of the world.
I place my hands over my eyes so that
What is inside of mind does not become
The literature of other people-
Even though my thoughts are silent
When your eyes make contact with mine,
All that I am thinking screams out to you and
I know you wish to harm me.
I believe-
I believe I am being threatened
Being threatened by those who follow my path,
Walking behind me, and somehow
Knowing my destination-
The leaves upon the trees have fallen in autumn and
Now the trees are barren, and I have no place to hide.
This whole world has become the enemy.
I believe my thoughts are broadcasted as I walk,
Kicking aside stones and the leaves that have fallen-
Snow has fallen upon the edge of time and
I stand upon the edge of time, counting the minutes-
Counting every second before the whole world knows of
The anger, hurt and my thoughts misconstrued,
That are torturing me every day and every night-
All I can do is to keep on walking and hope
That one day this mistrust of the world shall
Heal inside my troubled mind and somebody’s eyes
Will make contact with mine and say
“it doesn’t matter to me what you are thinking because
You are a person with a heart and a soul like everyone else and
I believe we all have faults-“ I look towards the sky searching for an increment of hope A world exists inside of me- a beautiful world I hope someday will not matter
If I let somebody inside to see- to know my destination and
I won’t need to hide anymore- when spring comes flowers shall blossom and
Leaves shall grow in the summer- and in the autumn leaves shall turn colors and fall-
I shall continue my journey towards the day I can learn to trust the world around me,
As I kick aside the stones and the fallen leaves as I walk-
With my eyes open to the world, my spirit, unafraid.
Claudia Krizay
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Reverie
There exists a place within my most vivid dreams where suspicion is unheard of-
Where lack of trust had never shown its evil countenance-
I follow this meandering river beyond
This territory illuminated by daytime stars- without the sun
Shining its orange-hued light upon the path my spirit follows-
The moon, stars, the gilded pond-
Seemingly violet in hue when reflecting the light of the moon at midnight-
I am walking alongside the river of my imaginings
Serpentine and deep in some ways as the
Ubiquitous thoughts and voices only I can hear inside my mind-
This realm of meandering rays of light
I follow and nobody follows me
Safe within my solitude, I am-
Only seraphs paint the sky a pale shade of cerulean-blue
As certain as the flowers are growing alongside the path beside me-
Although today-I am not afraid-
Flowers are non- threatening as they have no souls- and
Those who have no souls can do no harm-
Alive in this land where trees grow upward to reach the sky-
I do not fear:
Yellow blossoms dance in
An early spring zephyr and the trees bow gently
Within a gentle gust of wind-
The light of the moon is dim but magical
Unlike the garish rays of the sun-
Alone inside this place of my reverie, I am-
I see my reflection in the crystal clarity of
A pond of azure-blue reflecting the starlight-
Safe inside the world of my delusiveness-
Separate from humanity, I have escaped far beyond the mountains rising behind me as
The cloud cover bars me from reality-
Here inside my own small world protected by the ramparts of nature-
I am alive and jovial- I am not afraid-
Just happy to be singing my own songs and to be speaking my own voice-
With nothing to fear- alone, and content to be alive inside this land of my dreams-
Just to be watching the sun set behind the mountains as darkness overshadows-
I am not afraid…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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World In The World
Music by a. topuntoli/g.randone
Lyrics by a. topuntoli/g.randone/m.gabutti
Mixed by:mauro di deco
When the world will fall apart,
And it feels like theres no air,
Theres a place where you can run
To see your problems left behind.
When your faith seems locked away,
And the grey is all you see,
Theres a place waiting for you
And that nobody can invade.
Your world in the world.
Where theres nothing wrong.
Your world in the world.
Where you feel at home.
Your know this world
Will never,
Never let you,
Never let you down.
Your world in the world.
Where it never rains.
Your world in the world.
Where you put your friends.
Your know this world
Will never,
Never let you,
Never let you down.
Your world in the world.
When the world is just a haze
And you cant work out this maze.
Theres a place where you can go
To feel that everythings alright.
When the going starts to hurt
And you feel youre on the floor.
Theres a place waiting for you
And that nobody can invade.
Your world in the world.
Where it never rains.
Your world in the world.
Where you put your friends.
Your know this world
Will never,
Never let you,
Never let you down.
Your world in the world.
song performed by by Eiffel 65
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Have You Ever?
Without compassion, I gaze into your tear-filled eyes, I ask you
“Have you ever fallen and hurt yourself, ”, or
“Have you ever been in love and lost-or have you ever been trapped
Inside of a blizzard of snow, while the snow outside is falling
So hard that you couldn’t see the trees or even the sky-, it is only raining now and
You are inside your home, safe and free from outside intruders-
I have fallen in love and lost, while you are weeping, seemingly without reason?
I never have seen you running outside and having fallen,
Neither crying over the loss of a loved one? ”
Now, as I listen I can hear you say to me-
“Don’t turn your head or close your eyes while my tears are falling-
Don’t laugh while I pick up the pieces of my shattered past-“
Then I hear you ask-“have you ever been hurt inside by voices
Wishing you nothing but harm, voices you say talk only to you
That no one else can hear? ” and
“Can you fathom being locked inside an empty room alone,
Only because you couldn’t stop screaming-
You have loved and lost, though I have never been loved at all before, and
I see the snow falling in torrents in this moment-
As in this moment I am losing myself inside
A blizzard of madness as I fall into a trap of my own delusions, ” then
With anxious eyes gazing aimlessly downward, you question
“Have you ever seen snakes crawling up you bedside or
Have you ever been trapped within moments of madness?
Where fate has thrown the key to the wind? ”, then,
“Listen to the wind screaming and see my tears falling as would
A downpour in a summer storm- lightening strikes between us and
To you, it comes, illuminates the darkness and disappears, while
To me it tells me that this world I have been so cruelly born in is not a safe place-“
“Don’t speak to me of lost love and skinned knees as the snow falls
Painting a beautiful picture for you of a winter’s wonderland-
My world has just caved in and I have yet to see the stars-
I would ride upon the tail of a shooting star if I only could
To travel to another planet where nobody threatens me-
This is none but a dream and most of my past dreams have been nightmares-
The snow is falling in torrents and while you can’t see the sky,
I am only thankful that at this moment in time, I cannot see the demons
That persecute me day and night- though only for this brief moment-
You were once a child with a broken leg that has healed and
I see you running marathons of delight while
I am a bird with a broken wing that cannot ever fly.”
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Whoever Said
Whoever said that life is a gift and
Everyone should be thankful for
Each day they are alive, and
Whoever said that this world is a safe place and
Most people do not mean any harm, and
Whoever believes that bystanders are innocent, not threatening and
Not dressed to kill? And that most people are
Well meaning and I never believed a single word as
Inside the fortress of my mind I know that
People are ill-intended and one must be weary of strangers,
Self centered, self-serving and would not care if
A bomb fell in their neighbor's vicinity, and
Surrounding people's bodies shall be blown to pieces-
All I can say is that time is running out, time is running out and
My anger is escalating and I am dressed to kill-
Whoever said that I have nothing to fear when
This whole world is a threat to my existence-
I never believed, I never believed in heaven and
I can fathom the hell beneath me- I can fathom the hell beneath me and
I can feel the presence of the hell about me-
I am falling from the state of oblivion,
Crap chewing monsters follow me- those who walk behind me
Approach me and I make no eye contact because of their
Evil eyes reading my foremost thoughts?
My thoughts are my own and not to be read by
Threatening strangers dressed to kill by making my mind their literature?
Whoever said life is beautiful and whoever said the sun shall rise
Tomorrow and I believe the sun shall burn out soon,
Leaving me in the midst of darkness and despair-
Once I believed I had a calling to save the souls of the desperate-
And they took me and locked me inside of a room called seclusion?
There was no sun in that room and I lay in the darkness screaming and
Fighting for my sanity? All I can do is to lose myself inside
The world of my thoughts and hope that the rain shall fall and
Quench the fire that roars in my gut and all I can say is
Whoever said life is fair and whoever said rain falls upon the edge of time-
Time is running out and I am lost in hell's brushfire, a threat to my existence?
I never believed, I never believed and my dreams have been transformed to nightmares-
The clock upon the wall has just fallen-glass has shattered
Whoever said I should believe in heaven when hell has succumbed,
Crazy people are dancing beneath the full moon and time means more
Than a broken clock and my time? Well, my time has just run out?
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Shadow of my Spirit
Shadows appear and disappear-
Faces behind trees are looking and I never knew,
I never believed in closeness being safe and
Eyes opened towards the sky were said to
Perhaps be taking in the beauty of the cherry blossoms or
Following the pathway of the wild geese in flight-
That is what they say and I would never ask because
Eyes opened to the sky are only open momentarily until
They are cast downward, downward ogling the pathway of my footsteps?
Shadows appear and disappear and faces I don't know
Are none but a threat as the pathway of their eyes
Follow the direction that I walk and I never knew, and
I never believed in closeness being safe-
My eyes are opened towards the sky
Only taking in the spirit of my soul
Dancing someplace in the heavens hoping
That this pathway I walk is a safe place to be?
Shadows appear and disappear and
Even when shadows disappear-
I still believe that all eyes are upon me-
Wild geese in flight and blossoming flowers
Can be beautiful to see but they have no souls-
My soul, my spirit lives deep inside my inner core and
It never felt safe and still to this day
Feels like a raging animal locked inside of a cage
Unable to escape? Unable to escape a body on the run-
On the run from a world that only wishes me harm-
My dream has always been to set my spirit free and to
Become a bird and lift my wings to fly high above
In the sky, journeying through the clouds and to touch the sun,
Then find a safe place where no one could take my thoughts away-but
As a bird I find myself with broken wings, and my own shadow is cast upon the ground
Pilfered by evil people who capture my thoughts within their sinister grasps and
This world is not my home-shadows appear and disappear- my own included-
I can see it upon the gravel pathway lying still- I wait until it disappears and
I find myself alone-alone and safe- a bird with broken wings who has lost her shadow but
I am safe in my solitude and when all shadows disappear, I finally have nothing to fear-
My eyes are opened to the sky watching the wild geese in flight-
They have nothing to fear, soaring high up in the sky and they can escape reality as
Their wings are not broken and blossoming flowers may be beautiful and they remain safe because God did not give them spirits to feel the fear?
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Flightless Bird
My world is caged in,
I can not fly away,
I can not soar in the clouds,
With the wind and the angels.
I am a flightless bird with clipped wings.
I sit here day in and day out,
I watch so many people coming in and going out,
They stay here so happy so proud,
And they leave again without any care in the world.
I am a flightless bird with clipped wings.
I remember each face,
I remember them all saying hi waiting for a reply of hello,
They don’t understand how it feels,
They don’t understand what it’s like.
To be a flightless bird with clipped wings.
Wings tucked and head held high I sit here,
I wear a smile on my face and I keep myself beautiful and happy,
But inside all I can see are the bars that surround me,
I can’t get past them I can only sit.
I am a flightless bird with clipped wings.
My world is a room full of people myself the center of attention,
Although I should not complain for this is my life,
And I make them smile I make the children laugh and look in my eyes,
And sometimes they look into my eyes and see my world through my eyes.
They know I am a flightless bird with clipped wings.
They’ll stand and watch me as I walk around in my cage,
They’ll be there with me and try to understand.
Then they’ll have to leave and they’ll look over their shoulders.,
And they look into my eyes one last time,
Before they fly away into the world to bring back stories for the flightless bird with clipped wings,
They are my connection to the world,
They show me what they see through their eyes,
They show me wonders and beauties of a world I’ve never seen,
They are my window to the outside,
In their mind I can be a flightless bird in a world of wonder and of flight.
I am only a small bird in a cage that sits in a hotel,
Sits and watches as the world around me fly’s by,
I wait for the occasional stranger who looks into my eyes with knowing,
Maybe a person who is like me like a flightless bird in a cage,
They are my wings, the wings of a flightless bird who’s wings are clipped.
I sit in my own world and watch as it all moves by,
Day after day I watch and I say what is expected of me,
I sit in my world and I go on my own steady journey,
A journey in which I am a silent observer,
A flightless bird with clipped wings in a world of ever changing skies.
By: Bethany Maxwell
poem by Bethany Maxwell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Escape
As I lose myself inside of a world of my own-
Perhaps a shadow would pass me by,
Or maybe a fawn would wade in the creek
Along side of the path I walk-
I fear other people, this world’s intruders.
I would break away from reality if only
There was a point of no return and escape towards
A place where I can look down
Upon this path I have walked before-
Far away from all of the people who slight, follow and wish me harm-
Evergreens and maple trees-
Wild rabbits, squirrels and wild geese roam about-
These are the ones I call my true friends-
I would dance in the sky if I could-
Lost inside of a world behind the clouds, as
The sun behind me is casting shadows
Upon the path that I am now walking
Shadows that shall transform to dreams-
Dreams of an eternal life inside this world of my own-
Listen- can you hear the calling of the wild?
Listen- can you hear the gentle breeze rustling the leaves within
The litheness of nature surrounding me?
Listen- can you hear the sound of my heart beating amorously as
My own shadow disappears behind myriads of towering oak trees?
Rain could begin to fall and
A storm could approach and now I can say in all honesty it would not matter-
My mind has finally locked the door to reality and I have tossed the key
To the rapids rushing up the creek beside me-I have finally escaped.
If thousands of people were to approach and cross the path upon which I make my way-
I have lost touch with all that is real and in flight of the imagination
There is no turning back- even if it is only with in a dream;
Nobody needs war, cacophony and disaster,
If one can be in union with nature and fantasy that can be found in
One’s own back yard and a gust of wind can carry away that key to the door of
Pain and misfortune. Follow the shadows cast by the sun, and
Never look back, as this world inside of your dreams could last for an eternity…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Outside My Picture Window
It has been said that there is a world outside my picture window and
Beyond the trees I see everyday and the sky, sometimes overcast and
Other days, when the sun rises early- I can see the sky and have often wondered if
There exists another world within our universe- I know that
There exists a world inside of my mind and
My pupils are the windows into which
People would look if I were to venture outward?
Beyond the sky, and beyond the sun-
Beyond that world inside my mind,
I would never know where there exists a place for me-
Last night outside of my window
I could see the stars- stars mean different things to different people as
Does the sun, the trees and this whole world outside-
The world inside my mind revolves about
The sun that shines upon my own horizon and
As for this world outside, all I can do is look- and to
See a tree, perhaps a single cloud and the grass that grows-
I have shut my mind to the people who live beyond
The trees, clouds and the grass that I can see-
That window opens to the world inside of my thoughts-
I have just shut and pulled the curtain to discourage all intruders-
I am lying by my window in total darkness now as I place my hand over my eyes,
Shutting out reality and now I can see mountains, flowering trees and
A creek flowing in which I can see my reflection and
I am running upon the grass that grows beneath my feet-
I believe I heard music playing inside the fortress of my mind-
It has been said there is a world outside and I have pulled the curtain
To the window once opened to veracity-
Darkness has never looked as beautiful as I am safe here in my solitude-
Even when the stars are shining and the sky is such a magnificent sight to see-
No place is as exquisite as the creek that runs through my inner space and
The sun inside the world of my thoughts that shines upon my horizon?
The stars are far away and all that is real, though just outside my picture window
I perceive as too far away for me to reach- I would touch the stars and I could be a dove
That can lift my wings and fly away from all that threatens, but only inside my dreams-
Children sing songs and read fairy tales and they believe and I believe that
The sun shines light upon their worlds and
Someday their dreams shall blossom as has mine and shall become their homes-
Home is the safe place inside a person's mind, not within the madding crowd that
Exists outside my picture window- even if the stars are always there- and
That unique and special sun shall just keep on shining upon the world of my dreams….
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Safe Place
Drawings of seventy three people,
A map of the place where they all live,
I am amongst these people, and
I can hear them in conversation,
Although nobody who lives outside of this room can-
I have given this place a name- a self-fabricated name-
I have found happiness here
Within this world I call my own.
This is my safe place-
This place where skies are touched with clouds of pink and gray,
This place where all is quiet, except for the rushing sound
Of the clear water in the creek that runs through.
Here in this place where nobody cares
What time of day people go to sleep or what hour that they awaken-
This is the place where nobody ever gets angry or slights one another-
Here where we dance when it rains and
Where we laugh when the sun is shining over that creek,
But the sun never burns us.
I have locked the silver gate that exits to the world outside,
So that untrustworthy and belligerent people cannot enter-
This is what I have called my safe place, although
Some say it is dangerous in some sort of way.
Some say that it is dangerous to deny what is real, and
To live in a self formulated world,
Ignoring the lives of three billion people,
Feeling no empathy for those in pain and those fighting in wars out there-
While listening to voices that only I can hear or those I care to hear.
I feel that that world has not been kind to me and
There is so much out there that I fear and it is with great irony
That people are so fearful of my own unfamiliarity- although
To me people who live in this great earth outside of my safe place
Are just as foreign to me as I am to them- I must say that
If I were to continuously wear the key to that silver gate about my neck-
Keeping myself safe here amongst my made up community, I can
Live in my world and others live in theirs and we won't have to fear one another- as
Unfamiliarity is synonymous with danger to so many people.
The sun shall shine upon both places and everyone shall be safe, and
Nobody- not myself, my own special friends or
Those living in the world outside of here
Shall ever get burned…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Deliverance
It is nearly midnight; I can read the clock inside of my mind.
I can see through the darkness
Wicked hands reaching forward- with dagger- like fingers-
Sharp and threatening-
I am surrounded by vicious animals,
Hungry snakes and people who wish to harm me?
I would open that golden door to freedom if I could, if only to
Escape this terrifying world that
Surrounds me- I have no key and the lock
Is hanging off some invincible being's wrist as would a bracelet-
Tinted gold as the door that bars me, and striking- though
Not beautiful but hideously distorted-
I can still read the clock inside of my mind
Which I can read through the bleakest darkness- I see a door to freedom although
The lock and most likely, the key have been lost- All eyes are upon me and
All voices are threatening; all beings wishing me harm are loudening-
I cannot escape through this door toward unreachable liberty,
I hope I am dreaming and this is none but a nightmare-
This world is closing in on me from many directions- as my tongue forks out,
I still wonder why is the whole world against me?
It is past midnight and I foresee no escape from doomsday except for
That door to freedom that is locked and I own no key-
The lock and key would be my saviors - I don't believe in a higher being-
Evil eyes are upon me; I have come to full awareness that
I could awaken and darkness would still prevail,
Even though the sun is brilliant on a cloudless day, only because
Present in my awakened state I foresee no door opening toward freedom-
The sun is shining, and there is a rainbow on the horizon-
But I see my shadow fading into bleak darkness and despair-
Voices inside of my mind are commanding and I know-
I know and don't need to be told-
My whole world is darkening because since the day I was born into this world,
I have been a victim of abuse, confusion and disorientation and
The lights inside the womb that carried me burnt out before my birth and
My whole life has been a nightmare, and here I can no longer persevere, so I shall
Escape and follow my shadow, as I light a candle illuminating the world of my fantasies
Hopefully to guide me towards salvation…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Believe
The sky can lie and betray as any person can invade
The space that is my own and a sunny day so they say
Today would be, although
I believe I felt raindrops touching my naked arms-It is the New Year and
I don’t want tears falling from my eyes
As they did the first day of
Last year and every year before me-
I wept because I believed that God had forsaken me,
Brought me into a world which was not safe for me to live in-
I am lost in the woods but not as lost
As I am in the city surrounding-
Upon this sunny and rainy day- the people who
Dwell in this planet earth I do not trust-
These people are walking behind me
Only to steal away my dreams-
I cannot ignore their sinister glances-
Upon the face of a coin it says
“In God we trust” and that is just
One more untruth and I once believed there was a god and
I was a saint- now I am a pauper who is alone
In this world not believing a word that has been spoken-
“I am a believer, ” so are the words to a popular song-
I only believe in my own thoughts and the voices
That speak to me from my mind and
I only feel while my own heart beats-
Nobody hears these voices or my heart beating
Out of control- the rain is falling hard now-
I have been deceived and it is a new year again
God wipe away my tears, I don’t care to always be the enemy-
I hear birds chanting and wind blowing the leaves upon the trees-
Unwelcome footsteps behind me are closing in-
I have a spirit that dances in the wind, therefore
It hardly matters anymore that I was born into this world that
Is a fraudulent place- I can run marathons and other people’s minds
Have become my literature- I have faith in my thoughts and
I can carry on with a tune- “I am a believer”- and as long as
I believe in my own strength and my spirit keeps on dancing,
Knowing someday my dreams shall become alive and the sun?
The sun is hidden in the clouds and the rain just keeps on falling but
It is the rain that gives me water so I will not be thirsty and it is
That rain- that washes my tears away-
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Like a bird
Everytime I close my eyes
I set myself free
Leaving behind
All that surrounds me
Secrets to explore
Deep in my mind
There is another world
I need to find
I can feel the beauty
Shining everywhere
As I open my eyes
I'm floating on air
Like a bird in the sky
Looking down
Watching all the people
Move around
Crying out for love
Day to day
In the clouds above
I fly away
Like a bird in the sky
Looking down
Watching all the people
Move around
Reaching out to a world
For a better day
Close your eyes
And fly away
I need a place
I can believe
To live out the life
I want to lead
The Place Of My Dreams
Nobody ever walked this path before
-before trees grew here nearly touching the sky,
I am alone safely inside a world of my own-
A world where only deer roam and birds fly about-
Cardinals, robins and sometimes
I believed I saw angels-
Angels singing in harmony with bird songs-
The wind would rustle the leaves upon the trees and
In the early summertime, cicadas would sing incessantly-
Incessantly and melodiously-
Only one day I heard a different sound-
The sounds of footsteps and children screaming,
Following closely behind me-
I would hide behind a tall oak tree and I would almost weep as
My solitude has been interrupted and
I am no longer safe as my private world had been invaded-
Nobody ever walked this path before until this day and
My dream has been transformed to a nightmare-
I am not safe in a world destroyed by the presence of strangers-
Cardinals, robins and cicadas are my friends and
Other people are my enemies whom I do not trust-
Following in my footsteps and trying to make eye contact,
To read the verses of the songs my mind composes?
I know I have seen angels and heard them singing, and
Birds chanting along with the gentle winds
Rustling the leaves upon the trees-
But now other people have discovered the path,
upon which I have walked alone,
And my secure space has become a public tenement-
I once believed nobody ever walked this path before,
This path to which I could escape reality and lose myself inside
The magnificent world of my delusions-now they have come to take me away and
To lock me inside this prison which I cannot escape?
I cannot hear the angels singing here and birds are seemingly far away-
Here I have lost myself inside my own world,
one so different and so frightening?
There are people here, so close to me, yet I feel so alone-
Although alone in a dangerous way- I am singing my own song,
Hoping that the angels can hear me and one day I shall be back in unison with nature,
Far away from intruders and singing in harmony with nightingales –
And once again, alone safely,
as I shall have abandoned the nightmare of reality,
Touching the sky in my dreams, dancing with angels as I listen to the cicadas chanting
Happily as they are lost inside the world of their fantasies, just as I wish to be…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Am Surrounded
Safety in numbers?
I see this world in a different light
Safety in solitude-
In my home,
Out on the streets or
On the path I walk everyday –
Anticipation can be
As threatening as can be
A brushfire in the heavens where
There are no clouds to hide it and worse yet
No rain to quench its perilous flames-
Realization is none but a nightmare-
People walking behind me,
Ahead of me-
Eyes are upon me-
In a dangerous manner
My inner strength is flagging and
My spirit, my soul, and the very heart of me is afire-
Trees growing tall,
Their branches budding and
Grasses growing while bird chant their
Morning arias- spring is upon us,
I foresee no destiny, no rainbows-
No safe haven and I wonder-
Am I blazing pathway towards the underworld-
Is there mercy for my thoughts misconstrued as they are
Fighting a battle in the midst of terror
Searing my very essence?
A hundred yards behind and
A hundred yards before-
May as well be millimeters as I believe
I am surrounded?
I am surrounded –
By evil intruders who wish to harm me and
By children of hellions –
Upon this pathway I walk
There is nowhere to turn to escape
These enemies of my heart, mind and spirit-
Trees growing tall,
Their branches budding and
Grasses growing while birds chant their morning arias-
Spring is upon us-
I foresee no destiny and as I look towards the horizon and
See the sunrise-
I look towards the right of me,
I glance to lest of me and
Fearfully, behind-
Spring is upon us-
The most picturesquely bountiful time of the year-
In this world I see all humanity
Conniving, evil and threatening-
It has been as an eternity since I have seen a rainbow or
Since I have heard my own laughter enlightening
The path upon which I walk in my life-
I am not safe here- or
At home, all is bleak and ominous-
I am terrified because my sun has disappeared behind the
Mountains in my dark world and
I am surrounded,
I am-
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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