I Am Surrounded
Safety in numbers?
I see this world in a different light
Safety in solitude-
In my home,
Out on the streets or
On the path I walk everyday –
Anticipation can be
As threatening as can be
A brushfire in the heavens where
There are no clouds to hide it and worse yet
No rain to quench its perilous flames-
Realization is none but a nightmare-
People walking behind me,
Ahead of me-
Eyes are upon me-
In a dangerous manner
My inner strength is flagging and
My spirit, my soul, and the very heart of me is afire-
Trees growing tall,
Their branches budding and
Grasses growing while bird chant their
Morning arias- spring is upon us,
I foresee no destiny, no rainbows-
No safe haven and I wonder-
Am I blazing pathway towards the underworld-
Is there mercy for my thoughts misconstrued as they are
Fighting a battle in the midst of terror
Searing my very essence?
A hundred yards behind and
A hundred yards before-
May as well be millimeters as I believe
I am surrounded?
I am surrounded –
By evil intruders who wish to harm me and
By children of hellions –
Upon this pathway I walk
There is nowhere to turn to escape
These enemies of my heart, mind and spirit-
Trees growing tall,
Their branches budding and
Grasses growing while birds chant their morning arias-
Spring is upon us-
I foresee no destiny and as I look towards the horizon and
See the sunrise-
I look towards the right of me,
I glance to lest of me and
Fearfully, behind-
Spring is upon us-
The most picturesquely bountiful time of the year-
In this world I see all humanity
Conniving, evil and threatening-
It has been as an eternity since I have seen a rainbow or
Since I have heard my own laughter enlightening
The path upon which I walk in my life-
I am not safe here- or
At home, all is bleak and ominous-
I am terrified because my sun has disappeared behind the
Mountains in my dark world and
I am surrounded,
I am-
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Finding the Light
My world darkens as
Light surrounds me-
A wall has been erected between
Myself and this world-
Light surrounds me- I cannot reach-
I cannot reach beyond pathways towards oblivion-
A path exists before me, Straight and uphill-
The same path that I walk everyday- A pathway seemingly without and end-
Light surrounds me, So, I have been told- So many years have passed-
Promises for a future, a future filled with success-
Hope for a fine life – A sky without cloudiness,
Trees that grow tall and strong bearing flowers that shall never die-
Light surrounds me, I have been told- so,
Why do I only foresee bleakness and demise when
I have always been promised the sun to be rising about me?
This pathway I walk upon has been blocked
By mountains of madness, as along the way
I have drowned in pools of massive confusion,
While I feel hail and rain pounding against the very soul of my existence?
At the end of the road I walk- behind that wall that blocks my destination,
Awaits none but anger, mistrust and disappointment?
Light surrounds me, the light of promises,
The light of expectations, the light of hope-
The very same light that has blazed my spirit and my own rising sun has just burnt out?
My world is dark; I foresee no destiny-
Lightering has struck my tree of hope-
Fallen before me, blocking that same pathway
I walk everyday- I weep for that tree, now fallen, has perished-
I am now standing still as motionless as a marble statue, reflecting light
Which surrounds me and sears the core of my existence-
My tears are falling with the rain that has just taken over the light-
I am drowning in a pool of disarray and disbelief- as all I foresee is dimness-
That fallen tree casts shadows, obliterating my horizon?
Feeling my way through the mystifying haziness,
I begin to run without direction- singing melodies of my rekindled dreams, as
The rain stops and sunlight bursts through in all of its crystalline clarity-
My spirit is dancing atop those mountains of madness-
Being unable to discern veracity, I have lost myself inside the world of my delusions-
This is the world in which I have found a life and inside of which I can laugh and sing,
I see a different sort of light surrounding me now, and it no longer matters that
The flowers upon that fallen tree- have died, as I have found my own special flowers
Growing within a different frame of time and place…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Reaching
Looking upward toward the sky
I cannot envision the sun
On this day that I foresee no destiny-
Branches of trees overshadow and
In spite of the clouds and these branches that
Block my view of the morning's sky-
I can feel that I am being watched-
Looking toward the sky, I wonder if it is
God's eyes that are upon me-
Even though I have never believed in a deity-
I can feel power of threatening glances.
Every move I make, every word I speak-
In spite of the splendor and magnificence others have deemed this world to be
I still foresee no destiny-
Reaching toward the sky,
I feel as if I am walking a pathway without an end-
Listening to voices rising from nowhere-or are they coming from inside of my mind?
As the rain has begun to fall, I wonder, shall it wash away any hopes I once had-
Hopes for a brighter future?
In a moment of contemplation I recall my mother joyfully singing in the rain, while
I now foresee a silver gate opening before me-although opening to an unfamiliar place-
I also recall my mother saying "Your life is what you make of it"
Therefore I begin to see that the whole world ahead is my destiny-
I begin singing in the rain myself of the magnificence of these woodlands, and of
The choices I have begun to see that this world has in store for me-
I still cannot envision the sun but I feel an upsurge of hope break open from within and
Hope is the torch that shall enlighten my path towards freedom- as
The sun creeps up on the horizon as it rises above mountains of clarity….
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Searching
The sky is raining teardrops-
Although the sky is a deep shade of cerulean blue-
The mountains reflect the color of the sky, and as
The sun is trying to rise above mountains of uncertainty-
I walk a never ending pathway leading to nowhere,
I fear the world that the sky rains upon and
These teardrops falling from the sky
Intermesh with the tears emanating from my heart that bleeds
Pain, confusion and terrifying madness
I feel as someone's hand is reaching out from the sky to taunt me, as
Eyes are seemingly staring from the creek that runs beside me-
Although dread is tearing my body and mind apart,
Robbing me of my flagging grasp on reality, -
I keep walking steadily upon that pathway, though seemingly void of direction.
The sky is raining teardrops-
Teardrops that could be falling from the depths of my soul-
I fear the world, inside which I could soon be drowning in a river of tears,
But I keep walking that pathway that I fear could be leading to nowhere.
I can see people walking before me-
People nobody else can see, and
I listen to voices calling my name-
Voices that only I can hear, and
That hand that reaches from the sky that taunts me,
Most likely, only I can feel.
As frightening as these intruding contacts can be-
They are my close and familiar friends, especially
When this world is spinning out of control,
The sun has risen above mountains of madness and
Is burning my spirit, inside and outside-
The path I walk is blocked by fallen branches of barren trees and while
I stumble over rocks- I shall keep walking this pathway,
Although I do not know where it leads to-
Teardrops fall from my eyes and from the cotton-like clouds that decorate the sky,
My life is a struggle day in and day out-In this life I have yet to find my destination-
I could end my life drowning in a river of abyss, however
I shall keep on walking this mysterious pathway until
I find my place in this world- this world of vast and endless possibilities-
The sun beats down upon me searing my flesh and my spirit, as
I weep tears of frustration and anger-
Somewhere though I believe there is a place for me and
I shall continue walking this pathway-even though I foresee no end or direction
I shall keep walking as I look upward toward the sky of cobalt blue and
Those magnificent cotton-like clouds, giving me hope and direction
Until I discover my own dream, as far away as it may be.
poem by Claudia Krizay
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Shadow of my Spirit
Shadows appear and disappear-
Faces behind trees are looking and I never knew,
I never believed in closeness being safe and
Eyes opened towards the sky were said to
Perhaps be taking in the beauty of the cherry blossoms or
Following the pathway of the wild geese in flight-
That is what they say and I would never ask because
Eyes opened to the sky are only open momentarily until
They are cast downward, downward ogling the pathway of my footsteps?
Shadows appear and disappear and faces I don't know
Are none but a threat as the pathway of their eyes
Follow the direction that I walk and I never knew, and
I never believed in closeness being safe-
My eyes are opened towards the sky
Only taking in the spirit of my soul
Dancing someplace in the heavens hoping
That this pathway I walk is a safe place to be?
Shadows appear and disappear and
Even when shadows disappear-
I still believe that all eyes are upon me-
Wild geese in flight and blossoming flowers
Can be beautiful to see but they have no souls-
My soul, my spirit lives deep inside my inner core and
It never felt safe and still to this day
Feels like a raging animal locked inside of a cage
Unable to escape? Unable to escape a body on the run-
On the run from a world that only wishes me harm-
My dream has always been to set my spirit free and to
Become a bird and lift my wings to fly high above
In the sky, journeying through the clouds and to touch the sun,
Then find a safe place where no one could take my thoughts away-but
As a bird I find myself with broken wings, and my own shadow is cast upon the ground
Pilfered by evil people who capture my thoughts within their sinister grasps and
This world is not my home-shadows appear and disappear- my own included-
I can see it upon the gravel pathway lying still- I wait until it disappears and
I find myself alone-alone and safe- a bird with broken wings who has lost her shadow but
I am safe in my solitude and when all shadows disappear, I finally have nothing to fear-
My eyes are opened to the sky watching the wild geese in flight-
They have nothing to fear, soaring high up in the sky and they can escape reality as
Their wings are not broken and blossoming flowers may be beautiful and they remain safe because God did not give them spirits to feel the fear?
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Walk Tall
The simple minded
And the uninformed
Can be easily led astray
And those that cannot connect the dots
Hey look the other way
People believe what they want to believe
When it makes no sense at all
And i wish you along the sideline
had the strength to walk tall
Walk tall
Yeah walk on
Through this world
Walk tall
Somewhere out in the distance
Is the death of you and me
Even though we dont think of it much
Its still out there for us to see
If you treat life like a bar room fight
Youll die stinking of gin
No drunkards are allowed in heaven
No sinners will get in
Walk tall
Yeah, walk on
Walk tall
Through this world
Walk tall
So be careful in what you believe in
Theres plenty to get you confused
And in this land called paradise
You must walk in many mens shoes
Bigotry and hatred are enemies to us all
Grace, mercy and forgiveness
Will help a man walk tall
So walk tall
Yeah, walk on
Walk tall
Through this world
Through this world
Yeah, walk tall
Then walk on
Walk tall
Then walk on
Through this world
Through this world
Through this world
Through this world
Walk tall
Walk tall
Then walk on
Walk tall
song performed by by John Mellencamp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You Told Me
I remember you reading me about
Places beyond the mountains,
Above the trees and behind rainbows-
You told me that skies turned gray here sometimes
And the sound of thunder would
Resonate throughout -
The places I used to run and hide from and
Those places where the skies would at times turn red in hue
Where the light of the sun would bear down
Upon that paranormal pond I so often spoke of-
I had told you about the world I lived in where
Few people lived and cats ran wild while
Trees grew tall to scrape the clouds as
Pink and silver as they reflected in
The course of a running stream that lead
Towards a safe place where I could hide from
That world I so feared where cars ran vicariously-
Clocks ran from nine to five in that world where
Three billion people were known to live-
That world where I had never felt safe at home.
To retreat to the land beyond the mountains and
Behind rainbows-
I told you in those rare moments when I was afraid to speak and
Fearful of everything you deemed as “real”-
I know the world in which you live is real to you and
Although this land of purity, and through my eyes
I saw as safe and majestic-
You told me this was none but a delusion-
I remember living for a short while
In your world, where guns fired, thunder clapped, cars would rush
Carelessly down boulevards and skyscrapers were built
To barely withstand rain, sleet and snow-
In desperation I spread the wings you told me did not exist-
Lifted my body and flew beyond the mountains and the rainbows and far away from
This world so overwhelming and so threatening-
You were the one who read me tales about lands beyond the mountains
And in my mind I found a place behind a rainbow-
And it didn’t matter if it was none but a delusion because-
Through my own eyes, what feels like home,
No matter where the place may be-
Is truly home to me- no matter where its destiny-
You told me the thunder would sound soon and the lightening would strike-
I told you “Never in my world” and if some day I also saw it as a “delusion”
It would not matter because I have found my safe haven here-
Alive and content in this place where I can call myself
Settled and secure,
I would never turn my head to see the rain falling upon
Skyscrapers and cars breaking down on the highway
Early in the morning-
Whether my dream world is real to you or
Just a figment of my imagination in your mind,
It is true to life to me-
That is what matters and
If some day you wish to see what living blissfully encounters-
Climb over that mountain and beyond a rainbow
After a storm-
You shall find me there to
Welcome you and perhaps you also-
Shall never see any turning back, as
What is veracity and what is phantasmal-
Is as has been said-
Is in the eyes of the beholder-
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The SUn is Calling
The sun is
Calling me- I do not hear- though
Only the flapping of the wings of the
Canadian wild geese and the
Far away footsteps of
The intruders who follow me-
I can faintly hear the
Rays of the sun in the distance screaming their doleful cries,
Masked by the motion of the branches of the wild oak and cedar trees
As they shiver in the early morning’s draft-
Water rushes down the creek that adorns the trail
Beside which I walk-
Robins and cardinals chant their early morning litany-
Deer stand stalwart close to the path ahead of me-
I hear footsteps behind me as I turn my head although
All I can see is the sky-
Inside of my mind I have built a sanctuary, and
A small cabin in which to hide-
As I walk deeper into the thicket,
I begin to lose myself into another place in time-
Thee sun is calling me- I do not hear-
I have closed my eyes to the world around me and
Have lost myself inside of the world of my dreams
This world where I am omnipotent and no one is
Allowed to enter-
Somehow I find I cannot escape the grip that
This planet has made upon me-
The grip of ill fate and of mistrust-
It is the intruders who follow me
That clash with the beauty of the sun,
The loveliness of the song of the wild, and
With the mystery of the woodlands-
I would fly close to the sun with the
Canadian wild geese if I only had the wings to
Lift me off of the ground and
Carry myself to some other universe where
I could in reality be omnipotent and not afraid to sing-
To carry the tunes that keep my spirit alive as I abandon
The fear that has so deeply injured my soul-
The rays of the sun are screaming and a lone nightingale
Sings its soprano solo-
I break into a run carrying with me inside the safe haven of my thoughts,
The refuge of my delusions- and my flagging grasp on reality-
The sun is calling me-
This time I hear, as I feel the strength of my character evolving-
I look upward and see more than the sky, but
That could-be heaven and the faces of angels, as
They look down upon me in awe and admiration- I realize that
I have nothing to fear-
As nobody can rob me of my thoughts or of my imaginings and
I have come to the realization that I have found that other universe, if only in
The sanctuary of my dreams…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Souls and Spirits
In one corner, I see light, and
In another, a fallen tree-
Looking from the corner of your eye-
I know you still see me and
Even with the splendor of
That place where flowers are growing,
I never believed in you.
I never believed you truly cared,
Even when you brought me flowers, it was only
In a make-believe sense-
Their petals would fall and
The wind would carry them away.
In one corner, I see light-
Your candle that was supposed to guide me, but
That tree fell between us., and
You are now, gone forever,
Even though the light still shines and
Figuratively, you still see the pain that
You put me through and now- that you are gone,
You are gone in body but in spirit
You shall always be there looking into my eyes,
Threatening me, wishing me none but harm.
I shall keep on walking, walking away
From your spirit and now I know and
Now I believe that it isn't bodies-flesh and blood that haunt-
In flesh and blood a person can be gone for a hundred years,
Never to return but if a person was cruel and conniving in spirit-
That spirit shall never be forgotten and that person's soul
Shall forever irk until the day that I pass away and leave this world
In flesh, mind and spirit forever although fearfully I know
All spirits whether good or evil, shall never die.
Claudia Krizay
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Early Spring
Spring seems to have come early this year- I have always welcomed blossoming flowers,
Longer days and the fresh warm air outdoors,
Perhaps the early timing exacerbated the fear, and is reminiscent of the
Time when my life took a turn towards terror and misery-
I saw a daffodil yesterday in full bloom- yet in the first week of February,
On that day, as in extreme frequency, my thinking was out of touch.
Today my heart is screaming, desperate for some peace and comfort,
While birds are singing outside as a gentle breeze blows as in a whisper,
Even trees are budding while everyone is laughing, although
My spirit is weeping as rage sears my gut, terrified of the world surrounding-
The pain of falling upon the hard ground this morning does not hurt me as much as
The agony I feel that emanates from all of the people that wish me harm-
Inside the world of my thoughts, everyone who is laughing is laughing at me- and
I would kill them all if I were not so afraid.
I am always shouting, though in silence at the cruel people that surround me,
No one can understand the severe pain of feeling persecuted every time that
I step outside and the inner irate confusion of
Not knowing what is real from what is not.
My heart and soul bleed anger and tears apart the person I am inside and
Even the gentle spring like breeze will not dry the tears I weep inside or outside,
I hardly know who I am anymore- the people in this world have threatened me and
As beautiful as all that surrounds me today- there is no place for me to hide.
The lone daffodil I see evokes a smile upon my face for the moment.
I would pick it and take it home with me but if I did,
It would wither and perish as has I believe my inner spirit has done,
Spring has always been my favorite time of year, although
Its arrival may be somewhat too soon, just as
I fear the death of my soul might have been premature-
I see myself as a lone flower that has blossomed in mid winter and
Is confused to be outside amongst shorter days, and barren trees,
If spring’s rain begins to fall my hope is that is shall wash away my tears and
Quench the flame that burns inside of me, then amidst longer days and that gentle breeze,
I can be as a bird, singing amongst other birds happy to be free of the rage that once
Separated me from the rest of the world as I lift my wings and fly high above the trees,
Looking down upon a world so exquisite which is no longer a threat to my existence?
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Flight of the Imagination
An array of voices command within
Flight of the imagination-
A tree growing crookedly,
Sprouting from the depths of oblivion-
I believe I have seen a rainbow dancing with
The rays of the sun appearing over the horizon, as it
Rises above the clouds, crimson and vermillion in their hues?
Darkness steals the light away as rain begins to fall
Upon the essence of time,
Alien faces are frighteningly threatening, as
Spirits rise from the dead-
Lost souls in the depth of the forest indulging in profound conversation,
I am grasping at my thoughts, tenuously conflicting-
I can hear chattering voices, coming from outside intruders-
Ominous visions integrating upon a fallen foundation haunt, although
I know I must persevere-
Continuously walking, gathering my identity as
A reflecting pond catches dewdrops falling from leaves and grasses surrounding-
I think of building wooden fences about me to safeguard
My thoughts, precious, though complex and bewildering, as
The rain continues to fall.
Unfamiliar glances, suspiciously terrifying,
Upon footsteps, faltering,
I follow that pathway to nowhere, as I continue my solitary walk,
Escaping bedlam, towards the majestic place of my dreams-
As lightening strikes and thunder claps,
I continue my journey towards that wondrously enticing oblivion-
Content to have finally escaped the ostentatious veracity-
A lost but unique soul, I am-
I cannot discern the inevitable, though
I can laugh at the humor of my plight-
I have fallen in love with nature, and as
Rain spatters, though gently upon the pathway I walk-
I see my reflection wading in a nearby creek,
Crimson clouds have overcome the bleak darkness of reality-
In flight of my imagination, I have made a life for myself while
My spirit continues its journey out of the darkness into eternal light,
Forever-
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Deliverance
It is nearly midnight; I can read the clock inside of my mind.
I can see through the darkness
Wicked hands reaching forward- with dagger- like fingers-
Sharp and threatening-
I am surrounded by vicious animals,
Hungry snakes and people who wish to harm me?
I would open that golden door to freedom if I could, if only to
Escape this terrifying world that
Surrounds me- I have no key and the lock
Is hanging off some invincible being's wrist as would a bracelet-
Tinted gold as the door that bars me, and striking- though
Not beautiful but hideously distorted-
I can still read the clock inside of my mind
Which I can read through the bleakest darkness- I see a door to freedom although
The lock and most likely, the key have been lost- All eyes are upon me and
All voices are threatening; all beings wishing me harm are loudening-
I cannot escape through this door toward unreachable liberty,
I hope I am dreaming and this is none but a nightmare-
This world is closing in on me from many directions- as my tongue forks out,
I still wonder why is the whole world against me?
It is past midnight and I foresee no escape from doomsday except for
That door to freedom that is locked and I own no key-
The lock and key would be my saviors - I don't believe in a higher being-
Evil eyes are upon me; I have come to full awareness that
I could awaken and darkness would still prevail,
Even though the sun is brilliant on a cloudless day, only because
Present in my awakened state I foresee no door opening toward freedom-
The sun is shining, and there is a rainbow on the horizon-
But I see my shadow fading into bleak darkness and despair-
Voices inside of my mind are commanding and I know-
I know and don't need to be told-
My whole world is darkening because since the day I was born into this world,
I have been a victim of abuse, confusion and disorientation and
The lights inside the womb that carried me burnt out before my birth and
My whole life has been a nightmare, and here I can no longer persevere, so I shall
Escape and follow my shadow, as I light a candle illuminating the world of my fantasies
Hopefully to guide me towards salvation…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Place Of My Dreams
Nobody ever walked this path before
-before trees grew here nearly touching the sky,
I am alone safely inside a world of my own-
A world where only deer roam and birds fly about-
Cardinals, robins and sometimes
I believed I saw angels-
Angels singing in harmony with bird songs-
The wind would rustle the leaves upon the trees and
In the early summertime, cicadas would sing incessantly-
Incessantly and melodiously-
Only one day I heard a different sound-
The sounds of footsteps and children screaming,
Following closely behind me-
I would hide behind a tall oak tree and I would almost weep as
My solitude has been interrupted and
I am no longer safe as my private world had been invaded-
Nobody ever walked this path before until this day and
My dream has been transformed to a nightmare-
I am not safe in a world destroyed by the presence of strangers-
Cardinals, robins and cicadas are my friends and
Other people are my enemies whom I do not trust-
Following in my footsteps and trying to make eye contact,
To read the verses of the songs my mind composes?
I know I have seen angels and heard them singing, and
Birds chanting along with the gentle winds
Rustling the leaves upon the trees-
But now other people have discovered the path,
upon which I have walked alone,
And my secure space has become a public tenement-
I once believed nobody ever walked this path before,
This path to which I could escape reality and lose myself inside
The magnificent world of my delusions-now they have come to take me away and
To lock me inside this prison which I cannot escape?
I cannot hear the angels singing here and birds are seemingly far away-
Here I have lost myself inside my own world,
one so different and so frightening?
There are people here, so close to me, yet I feel so alone-
Although alone in a dangerous way- I am singing my own song,
Hoping that the angels can hear me and one day I shall be back in unison with nature,
Far away from intruders and singing in harmony with nightingales –
And once again, alone safely,
as I shall have abandoned the nightmare of reality,
Touching the sky in my dreams, dancing with angels as I listen to the cicadas chanting
Happily as they are lost inside the world of their fantasies, just as I wish to be…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Reverie
There exists a place within my most vivid dreams where suspicion is unheard of-
Where lack of trust had never shown its evil countenance-
I follow this meandering river beyond
This territory illuminated by daytime stars- without the sun
Shining its orange-hued light upon the path my spirit follows-
The moon, stars, the gilded pond-
Seemingly violet in hue when reflecting the light of the moon at midnight-
I am walking alongside the river of my imaginings
Serpentine and deep in some ways as the
Ubiquitous thoughts and voices only I can hear inside my mind-
This realm of meandering rays of light
I follow and nobody follows me
Safe within my solitude, I am-
Only seraphs paint the sky a pale shade of cerulean-blue
As certain as the flowers are growing alongside the path beside me-
Although today-I am not afraid-
Flowers are non- threatening as they have no souls- and
Those who have no souls can do no harm-
Alive in this land where trees grow upward to reach the sky-
I do not fear:
Yellow blossoms dance in
An early spring zephyr and the trees bow gently
Within a gentle gust of wind-
The light of the moon is dim but magical
Unlike the garish rays of the sun-
Alone inside this place of my reverie, I am-
I see my reflection in the crystal clarity of
A pond of azure-blue reflecting the starlight-
Safe inside the world of my delusiveness-
Separate from humanity, I have escaped far beyond the mountains rising behind me as
The cloud cover bars me from reality-
Here inside my own small world protected by the ramparts of nature-
I am alive and jovial- I am not afraid-
Just happy to be singing my own songs and to be speaking my own voice-
With nothing to fear- alone, and content to be alive inside this land of my dreams-
Just to be watching the sun set behind the mountains as darkness overshadows-
I am not afraid…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Through My Eyes
I believe-
I believe my thoughts are being broadcasted
I believe you can see my world through my eyes-
When your eyes are closed, I believe that you can hear my thoughts
My thoughts that speak of persecution and threat
These thoughts, as directed towards the rest of the world.
I place my hands over my eyes so that
What is inside of mind does not become
The literature of other people-
Even though my thoughts are silent
When your eyes make contact with mine,
All that I am thinking screams out to you and
I know you wish to harm me.
I believe-
I believe I am being threatened
Being threatened by those who follow my path,
Walking behind me, and somehow
Knowing my destination-
The leaves upon the trees have fallen in autumn and
Now the trees are barren, and I have no place to hide.
This whole world has become the enemy.
I believe my thoughts are broadcasted as I walk,
Kicking aside stones and the leaves that have fallen-
Snow has fallen upon the edge of time and
I stand upon the edge of time, counting the minutes-
Counting every second before the whole world knows of
The anger, hurt and my thoughts misconstrued,
That are torturing me every day and every night-
All I can do is to keep on walking and hope
That one day this mistrust of the world shall
Heal inside my troubled mind and somebody’s eyes
Will make contact with mine and say
“it doesn’t matter to me what you are thinking because
You are a person with a heart and a soul like everyone else and
I believe we all have faults-“ I look towards the sky searching for an increment of hope A world exists inside of me- a beautiful world I hope someday will not matter
If I let somebody inside to see- to know my destination and
I won’t need to hide anymore- when spring comes flowers shall blossom and
Leaves shall grow in the summer- and in the autumn leaves shall turn colors and fall-
I shall continue my journey towards the day I can learn to trust the world around me,
As I kick aside the stones and the fallen leaves as I walk-
With my eyes open to the world, my spirit, unafraid.
Claudia Krizay
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Journey Towards Salvation
If I were one of the robins- many which I have beheld or
A fawn in the wild-
I would fly above the towering trees or
Freely run across the trail
I walk every day and I run or fly
Only because my soul has been
Betrayed and my spirit, terrorized-
Up high above in the trees
I would touch the sky before the rain
Began to fall upon the essence of time and
My hope would be for the rain to wash away my fears,
Drowning them in the abyss of nature-
To realize I am none but a wounded spirit,
Who can only walk this path and at the spur of
A fleeting moment break into a run- as
I search beneath fallen branches and as
I adore the flowers- daffodils donning their
Golden attire and roses with their delicate fragrances-
I would search for what some have deemed deadly silence but from
A glance from my ebony-hued eyes, never deadly but
From the heart of life’s treasures-
Some peace of mind and blessed solitude-
This path I walk is mine alone and those who follow behind or
Walk slowly before me have robbed me of my feeling of
Wellbeing as I have called myself often a solitary princess,
Robed in my phantasmal armor-
Somehow the voices of others threaten as they whisper callously or
Laugh ruthlessly - the voices only I can hear have often been
Accusatory or commanding but do not evoke the rage that
Evolves from my inner core of the space invaders, so toxic to my vicinity –
As I approach civilization, I can hear children screaming and
My utmost fantasy would be to aim a gun and fire-
It would joyfully mean the end of all humanity and I would be left alone-
Alone in my world, my safe space, revolving about a sun that shines
It’s light upon my once darkening world- if there is a God I pray for
Salvation from the pain that I feel so profoundly, the madness
That separates me from reality and to see this world and its inhabitants
In a different light would be a blessing in many ways-
But now I can only become an eagle of mercy calling upon myself to
Lift my imaginary wings and to soar away from veracity until the day
The rain stops falling and there will be no clouds to hide beneath-
Voices of others shall become welcome, kind and inviting, although
In a non menacing way- or as a robin flying above the treetops
Looking down at the grassy fields below- innocent and not afraid-
I sit alone in my home, the doors chained but the curtains open- I see that
Rain is falling hard- I am a wounded sprit with some hope for alleviation
From all of the pain, despair and trepidation –
Meanwhile I still love the flowers, their beauty and delicate fragrances and
When the sun rises above the skyline I will walk slowly towards rejuvenation-
With hope to find a path to safely walk upon-
That courageous and hopeful part of my being believes that
One day I shall walk that path towards deliverance and serenity
In some other lifetime before another storm approaches-
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Paranoid Schizophrenia
I am looking ahead as so many are following behind me
Everyone's hands reaching out to hurt me somehow-
I feel are manipulating my thoughts-
People looking ahead and so many following behind me
On this mesmerizing spring-like day- I wonder why this world is
Out to menace and persecute me? A gentle breeze blows and dogwood is blossoming,
Daffodil stems rocking gently within a gentle gust of wind-
While the sky is cloudless and I can feel the warmth of the sun brightly shining, and as
Its rays are gently caressing my shoulders; all I can do is weep-
I am looking ahead as so many are following closer and closer behind me-
Though it couldn't be a more picturesque and
Amazingly beautiful day- This world is not a safe place to live in-
This world is replete with wicked, conniving souls
Who wish me none but harm and desire to only betray me-?
Walking before me everyone looks into my eyes as
My mind has become literature to the public-Solitude to me is the only safe key to
My existence in this cruel and threatening world, of which
I was born to be a sole survivor and
Three billion people wish me nothing but harm-
Looking ahead I see people glaring at me through their eyes
In the back of my head and I have nowhere to turn to find safety as
So many are following directly behind- Within a gentle gust of wind, I shall be gone-
A bird with a broken wing that is still able to fly-
I shall fly to the top of a maple tree and hide from the inhabitants
Of this planet that has done nothing but to ridicule me and
Invade my personal space-lack of trust and heightening fear has
Taken away any place I might have had in this world-
The warmth of the sun gently caresses my shoulders and
I am thankful that inside the world of my thoughts
I have become this bird who can fly away from this cruel world-
This cruel world that has taken me and locked me away-
This cruel world that has made it so I can only survive
Alone in an empty room, screaming and crying, begging for
Some freedom from pain and solace from anger?
Looking ahead and looking behind-waiting for a bomb to dropp upon
The world I have created for myself and as I listen to voices only I can hear-
I try to shut the world out- this world that is reading my thoughts through my eyes,
And following me wherever I go- being a bird with a broken wing,
I am grateful to be able to fly into the cloudless sky where no one can
Read my thoughts and follow me-
Within a gentle gust of wind I shall be gone, forever.
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Eyes In Back Of My Head
Early this morning I am outside walking along the trail-
The wind blows my hair about-
Covering THE EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD-
I cannot see for the moment but I can feel-
I can feel the vibrations of heavy footsteps
Pounding against my brain in another gust of wind
Blowing my hair about- giving way to the
EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD-
I recognize the intruders who wish me harm.
Early this morning
I walk along the trail- I am in danger-people are following me
One, two and three-I count the footsteps-
Four five six- I see the people-
Evil conniving and threatening- behind me and
Seven, eight, nine more slowly walking in front of me-
My anger overwhelms me and the bitter cold wind
Only exacerbates my homicidal impulses-
I am dressed to kill these people who
Walk slowly ahead of me- space invaders
Whose footsteps are retaliating and
THE EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD-
Envision the whole world behind me-
Early this morning- I think of the gun shop I walked by downtown yesterday-
Ready to murder, I am- seething with rage-
Early this morning, I am walking along the trail-
I do not feel safe- I have lost my destination and
My sanity is precarious- people are all around me and
I am dressed to kill the entire multitude-
I have EYES IN BACK OF MY HEAD- I believe, and
As I count the people before me and behind me, and
As the cold wind blows my hair about- I know that
THE EYES IN BACK OF MY HEAD are protecting me and
Perhaps are keeping me safe and now I know that it is
THE EYES IN BACK OF MY HEAD whom are my saviors -
Bringing back memories of nightmarish delusions of
Threatening people in my past being God- I have no destination and
THE EYES IN BACK OF MY HEAD are my friends- and
My delusions, as others call them- are my saving grace.
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Parts Of Me
There is one part of me that
Feels safe sometimes, that part of me
That doesn’t go outside of my front door and
Just stays home and listens to music playing and
Sings along softly to the tunes while
I paint my life’s story in vivid colors or
Write my testimony over and over again, though in different words every time-
My dream being that someday I shall be discovered
As the person I truly am-
That person who wants the world to know
That the path I have walked has been
Scattered with stones and branches of fallen trees-
And how I have bent over to collect those stones and
How I have kicked the branches aside- That person I truly am who
Is like a bird with broken wings but has found a way to fly-
Perhaps not high in the sky but flying, just the same or
Maybe as a deer with a broken leg who still can run,
Perhaps not at a galloping speed but running just the same-
There is a part of me that is terrified and has always been-
Terrified of the people in this world so vast and so threatening-
I have found myself a cave inside of which to hide and
Here I can sing, dance or just merely talk- I have pulled the curtains shut and as I
Whisper words as incoherent as they may be-
It hardly matters because no one is here to
Slight me or to interrupt my performance-
So many have often said how lonely I must be-
Living alone inside my shelter, though a safe place for me to hide-
Safe with the curtains drawn, windows shut and doors locked and chained-
This one part of me is none but victorious as
I call myself a survivor, having collected all of the stones and
Having kicked all of the branches on the paths I walk aside-
Happy to be here at home- singing and dancing-
I can laugh and run about here and sometimes when I step outside my sanctuary
If only for a moment and I could tell any passerby –
I am never alone, never lonely because
The whole world could disappear within a gust of wind- and
I am not alone in this world or never lonely only because-
Even if every person in this world would vanish, I shall always have myself-
The tunes I carry- the canvas upon which I majestically paint my life’s story-
And most of all- my dreams-
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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People Who Died
Oak trees are tall and
Reach for the sky,
Blossoming dogwood
Can be pink or white and irises, yellow
Evergreens gently sway in a summer breeze,
As I look towards the sky, cloud covered or
Sometimes a deep shade of blue-
I feel alive and lost inside a world of my imaginings-
I am alone in a world where many loved ones have passed-
My father, warm, and strong and had a zest for life,
My mother sometimes happy, more often sad,
My grandmother, eccentric and funny and my aunt-
In my eyes, special and like a mother to me-
Oak trees are tall and reach for the sky,
Blossoming dogwood and irises, yellow-
It is the springtime of the year and I wonder
Where to have my loved ones departed?
Beneath the ground, near the roots of blossoming flowers, or
Up in the sky, towards where tall oak trees are reaching?
I see a rainbow on the horizon, and
The sun, golden, rising above the mountains-
Clouds giving way to a sky, cobalt blue in its hue-
Where and if people have souls or spirits,
Some do not know for certain, but I know, I am never alone,
Although my loved ones are amongst the departed-
Oak trees, tall, dogwoods blossoming in the early spring this year and
Evergreens shall be present for always-
Inside of my mind, my loved ones have never died,
I can still hear their voices in deep conversation-
I can almost feel their warm embraces- I am never alone-
I am never alone because I believe in spirits and carry them inside
My heart and my mind everywhere I go-
I see their faces in every blossoming flower,
Their voices echoing in every breeze-and one day
We shall dance together on the horizon, because I believe that
People really do not die as fond memories shall carry their spirits home-
And home is wherever I walk, what I see and in the beauty of nature, while
The rainbow on the horizon reflects that everlasting love in our souls…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Downhill Path
Life is never a flowering tree and a hurricane snatched some brutality away-
In one sense of the word freedom would rule and
In another, I can only see the rain. I foresee no future-
Only dandelions grow all summer long and
Leaves fall from the maple trees as autumn sets in.
I grew up in a home in which
I often believed I was living in purgatory-
Far away from stars in the sky, although overshadowed by clouds-
The sun always rose at dawn.
Today rain falls upon the essence of time and
I can feel the heat of the brushfires in hell below me
Searing the road I am trying to walk- all uphill with no direction-
I have yet to find my place in this world, in other words, reality-
It hardly matters because behind me exists a downhill path upon
Which I can turn back and walk back upon to the world of my thoughts;
Life has never been a flowering tree and although rain has been said to
Nourish trees and make them grow- fog is dense and I am locked inside
A chamber of madness where the only sounds I can hear and see are
Monstrous beings and voices that cannot be seen or heard by anyone else-
I would pick a bouquet of dandelions in the summer if I believed that
As a gift they could bring joy to somebody- but flowers die soon after they are
Plucked from their mother stems and when all of the flowers have been picked,
All I can see is rolling hills of grass, that is when cloud cover and fog
Become too impenetrable for me to foresee any destiny?
I often wonder if the stars so many speak of truly exist-
If they do so exist, they are many light years away-
Rain is pouring and I can hear the wind, as I walk down that hill where
The world of my fantasies awaits me- there I can find some freedom ruling.
Inside the world of my reverie I cannot fathom what the future holds-
This gives me hope that there is a chance I may someday sit peacefully
Beneath a flowering tree- at dusk looking up towards the sky seeing the stars, and
As past memories dissolve into nothingness and my future remains a mystery to me-
I shall just keep on watching the rain falling- but I am not without hope, as for
Some reason- I know that there is always an end to rain, I have created a world for myself,
And I am certain that the sun shall rise again- even after all of the flowers are gone…
poem by Claudia Krizay
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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