Flight

I have always loved the sky and
Dreamed, not only late at night,
Of life beyond our solar system
Elsewhere in the universe so vast-
Some would say that I envision the sky
Under a different light, as
The sun people worship and fantasize
Around which our planet revolves,
Has been brightly blinding and deceptive-
Inside the world of my thoughts as
Others have deemed as delusions-
Casting rays that are fires from hell,
Illuminating the paths I frantically walk
Trying to escape what is real.
Cerulean blue is the sky at night, and
Cobalt blue at sunrise,
Overshadowed by the dimmer light of the moon at twilight,
Adorned with contrasting cumulous clouds at dawn as
Rare shades of blue magically transform to gold as
The evil sunrises, threatening me-
Although I fear the overwhelmingly dazzling rays of the sun
Aiming towards me as a sort of lethal weapon,
I would still make my journey through and across the universal sky
If I only could- inside the fortress of my mind,
I have created my own universe, with a different sun,
People I could trust and who speak a language
Which only they and I could converse and comprehend- while
There would be no sickness, war or evil to fear.
I have no place upon the familiar planet earth.
I was born under a different star-
I have escaped veracity,
I have become a extraordinary nightingale lifting my wings,
Flying beyond the sun, the moon and past Saturn, Venus and beyond-
Inside the world of my apparition, as I soar further
Away from all that terrifies me
I know that a day shall come that I shall arrive
At my new home, in flesh, not only in spirit-
I have always loved the sky, and
I have always lived, in my own way
As a shadow obliterated by massive crowds of
Those who only wish me harm.
The story of how my body and soul
Shall soon survive and find blissful contentment,
Someplace beyond what they can envision
Is one nobody shall ever hear, as
My thoughts have traveled too many light years away –
One day the sun shall burn out and I may return,
After all of earths’ hellions have vanished-though
I shall never be alone, as I have by my side
Those phantasmal beings of my sorcery-
I hear thunder now and the rain begins to fall, and
I cannot see through the black and ominous clouds-
With much disdain my journey must be postponed as
I watch the rain fall into the ocean,
I find myself drowning inside a different ocean-
That is, an ocean of an abundance of tears, which
I have wept, unashamedly knowing that
Nothing is without hope and I deeply believe
I shall become that extraordinary nightingale someday again soon
Ascending upward, when the sky becomes once again
That distinctive shade of cerulean blue-
I can find my place amongst angels or more simply
Amongst the beings inside of my imaginings and be joyful
And with hope that the sun shall not set my dreams afire,
That the rain shall not begin to fall again,
Someday I shall be contented to be alive,
as a strong, brave and immortal being, while
Never a lost soul or a shadow blackened by the nightmares of my past.


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The Unknown Star

I was born of an unknown star, of a mother who did not know herself-
From the very beginning I was a canary that could not sing and who
Would fall to the ground every time I lifted my wings to fly-
Trapped inside a cage of my own delusions,
I was alone looking upward towards that clouded sky, searching for that unknown star,
Where by chance I could find a place where I would belong-

My mother wept a wide stream of tears
Not to be consoled from the deep pain that tore at her heart-
The day I lost myself to another world, she abandoned me as agony wrenched her soul-
A phantasmal canary lying still at the bottom of my cage-
Hiding behind a rainbow looking for rays of hope,
Trying to deafen the voices only I could hear,

Searching for that unknown star,
I would dance in the rain beneath the faint light of the moon at night
Seeking for myself, that person I could not find, however
All I could find was a shadow upon the wall-

A shadow upon the wall I hardly recognized as myself,
A reflection within a pond which was that stream of my mother’s tears-
Dancing in the rain trying to become somebody,
Somebody famous or a perhaps an angel or a saint,
Trapped inside a cage of my own apparition where dense cloud cover barred me from
That unknown star where I might feel at home-

Looking about me at hillsides I might have tried to climb-all I could see was my shadow.
A shadow upon a hillside or inside, a shadow upon the wall,
A vague reflection within a pool of tears- Seemingly eyes of a ghost staring into mine,
Reading the demonic thoughts that raced inside of my mind-
Born of an unknown star, I had never found a home and
Born of an unknown star, I had never found myself-
Searching inside and outside all I could ever see was
A dark shadow of a lost person with no destiny or direction-

That canary that could not sing or fly, or perhaps a being who
Tried to come to life dancing in the rain beneath the faint moonlight- I became
A shadow dancing beneath the light of that unknown star I could not reach-
Hoping someday I would save the souls of those who despair and expectantly
Someday I would become that canary, but lifting my wings to fly and bursting into song,
Joyfully watching the sunrise as the moon would vanish
Behind disappearing dark clouds of despair.

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To Reach The Sky

I may have found my paradise, and
If I could only reach the sky,
I would know I will have arrived at the home of my desire;
When I was very young, I was a child without direction,
I was lost and hardly knew which street I walked, though every day,
Terrified of the nighttime hours, I was and
Fearful of the world outside, from the moment that
The sun rose in the valley I could envision outside of my bedroom window?
I could sing angelic hymns concerning the loveliness of this world,
I could sing but my spirit was on the run from veracity and
I hardly believed or understood the words I sung-
It was none but a harmonious tune echoing inside my mind,
Dismembered in many ways, as my thinking was out of touch-
Whenever the rain would fall I would sing and dance outside but
Inside the world of my delusions, locked and keyed from the real world,
That unfamiliar place, perhaps too familiar in many ways, that
It had become the fortress of my intrusive enemies?
Rain is falling hard at this moment, and I cannot reach the sky-
Rain is falling in torrents and my paradise is hidden behind the ominous gray clouds-
My paradise I have never seen as I cannot see beyond the
Fabricated world I have created inside the confinement of my bedroom?
Fairy tales of magical places existing beyond the sky were told to me
From the inside of storybooks and at night I would dream of
Sailing a phantasmal boat beyond the sun, searching for some
Sorcery that would find me a safer haven inside of which to live my life-
A life free from threatening trespassers, cold and gusty winds and
A world of people that could not rob me of my thoughts as well as those
Who could not follow close behind me and terrorize my mind-
Awakening every morning in the darkness, I find myself trapped inside of
A nightmare of horrors I cannot seem to escape from-
If I could only climb that miraculous ladder towards the sky,
To visit the moon at twilight and to ride upon the tail of a shooting star
That would possibly take me to the planet of my dreams?
My paradise, my paradise, where are you now, I ask in thought, and
Why was I born, tell me, why I was born a misfit of society,
Different from all others, these others that attempt to
Read my mind but cannot comprehend as if my thoughts were
Written in some foreign script completely unintelligible?
One day I shall die and when I die I shall be set free
To climb that wondrous ladder built just for me to ascend-
To climb to my paradise in the sky and that
Melodic tune inside my mind shall come alive and I shall pirouette
With the cherubs and the saints although others
here say they are not truly real-
Although inside the community of my thoughts, everything seems real and
To others, things that cannot be seen clash with veracity-
But to me what I cannot touch in this life
is what I believe shall save my very soul-
I carry my paradise inside of my mind and one day I shall abandon
Pain and misfortune and inside mind and body
I shall in all finality reach the sky,
Dance amongst the stars and sing my own hymns of joy and triumph-
I shall plant my own tree of life, and its branches shall give me shade and
A place beneath which to rest, sleep and to
dream of all the goodness that awaits me, and
When the victorious music begins to louden and deafen the nightmares of my past,
I shall finally be set free…

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Delusion

I would live forever beneath a rainbow if I could,
But if I became a dove, I would lift my wings and fly past that rainbow,
Worship the sun, play hide and seek with
Clouds of fortune and
When evening set in I would
Dance amongst the stars, search for the moon,
Let the light of the moon guide me towards
Some other planet and there I would make my home.
The rings of Saturn are enticing, and far more mysterious than
The seas and continents of the planet earth-
Saturn has always been the foremost and intriguing planet
Within the magical ocean of my dream world-
Yesterday I awakened at dawn, to find a rainbow on the horizon-
Its vibrant colors seemed to summon me, and Inside the world of my fantasies
I became that dove and soared upward toward the sky
Until I found myself hovering amidst that rainbow-
Its colors reflecting in the stream below-
But sad to say, rainbows always disappear and
I would find myself without destination wading in that stream,
That stream that leads towards nowhere.
However when I close my eyes to reality and once again become that dove,
I ascend in flight into the universe, my eyes fixed upon Saturn and
The rings of Saturn are so like a rainbow that is spinning
About this magnificently beautiful planet I would want to make my home,
I would live beneath a rainbow if I could,
And when that rainbow disappears I would take flight and find Saturn-
Saturn is amazing in its appearance and
Is glorious and extraordinary in all tales that have been told of planets in the universe,
Doves have been correlated with peace and I can see myself in flight
Safely in my solitude as I would be the first living being on that planet-
Its rainbow-like rings about me that I know shall never fade away-
I being the peaceful dove that has escaped veracity forever and
While rainbows on earth may be lovely to see, they are short lived-
The rings of Saturn shall always be there glistening, and enlightening night's darkness.
Inside my mind I have always dreamed of an incomparable place to call home-
A unique, far away place where I can bask in my solitude-
Perhaps I shall never be a dove flying about Saturn and rainbows always fade,
But when I close my eyes I shall always see many colors, stars and the universe,
And inside of my mind, fantasy shall transform to reality until the day I die-
And the day I die my spirit shall rise past clouds of fortune and
Shall live amongst the stars, Saturn and the other planets in the universe for always…

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Universe

Often I have wondered,
Watching the full moon rise over the mountains
At dusk- if some day I could
Travel along its pathway as it
Revolves about the earth, and perhaps even find myself
Riding bareback on a comet- and landing,
To build a home there on the moon-
I know I could never plant a tree there,
That there are no rivers there
To walk along, or no highways to drive upon
That would lead me to that eternal paradise of my fantasies-
Wherever it may be?
If I could find myself alone,
Standing upon a magical mountain above
One of the moon’s phenomenal craters-
In my solitude I could let my imagination
Carry me to other places in the universe
Towards where I could escape the
Wars, famine and destitution of the earth-
Towards Venus I would fly if I could, or
Towards Mars while becoming a nightingale in my wildest dream-
The rings of Saturn I have always found intriguing and
Almost striking in their splendor-
Inside the fortress of my wildest dreams I know that
The sun has given us light here for countless centuries,
And most likely- shall be present countless more-
And as magnificent and mystifying as the planets are-
They are beyond my reach- except within my fondest reverie-
In a dream, no matter day or night- however, I can
Let my phantasmal spirit carry me light years away,
Happy to be soaring across the universe through that sky of
Cerulean blue- without my dreams, I would have no destination,
Often I have wondered – as I look upwards towards the stars
In the midnight sky- if it truly matters how far away they are- as
They were born and created eons past to add some splendor and enchantment
To the billions of people here on this planet earth - as well as
The thrill and sorcery of wondering what we do not know-

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The Dawning

Only at dawn
Do I believe that a higher being may be
Looking down upon me through the rays of light emanating from the rising sun as
The full moon descends behind the mountaintops,
This morning I could envision a ladder from the creek side
Reaching toward the heavens-
The sky, being a rare shade of cerulean blue and
Pale lavender lightly coloring cumulus clouds,
Only at the dawning of each new day
Is the time I feel hopeful and undaunted?
I live within a world that has not been kind to me-
Though at the dawning of another day
Walking through the woodlands I know that I am safe in my solitude,
For that higher being is always looking down upon me
Watching over me, protecting me from all harm?
Voices I hear in the night have callously threatened me but
At the break of the day, I hear the voices of angels
Soothing my troubled soul and gently comforting me while
In my moments of madness I could have lost myself forever.
My spirit is now dancing to the tune of
An aria of peace, sung by those seraphs
Inside of my mind, greeting me
And chasing away the demons that
Had threatened me only the night before-
As those seraphs join a chorus of angels from above
Singing amorous tunes only to console me- if I could
I would climb that phantasmal ladder towards the sky, to escape reality;
Lost inside an instant of madness,
A moment so brief, an encounter with the surreal
Has given me reason to persevere-
Only at dawn, as the sun journeys above the hilltops
Can I hear voices of angels- and I do suppose, and
I only believe that there is hope and tranquility
To be found, in some distant star, illuminating the sky
As the sun rises and as the moon descends beyond the horizon,
I have lost myself inside of a dream that could be heaven
Where I am safe in my solitude, as my thoughts are lost in some other realm-
Within my fondest dream, for them never to be found would be my utmost desire,
Climbing that ladder towards the sky,
Abandoning the threatening voices that wished me harm,
Leaving the nightmares of veracity behind,
As I open my eyes to the dawning and behold that forever rainbow in the sky-

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Creation

Shades of cerulean blue are outstanding in the very early morning’s sky-
Darkness is fading as the sun awakens-
The moon was full last night, though still peering through the trees-
Reddish-orange foliage almost glowing as would a bonfire,
The tips of its flames touching the cumulus clouds, ever so gently- and
Ever so tenderly caressing the last star as it fades into the cosmos;
To my longing soul’s content, autumn has arrived and
I kick aside the colorful fallen leaves, as
I leisurely walk in my solitude, my thoughts as a nightingale on wings,
Begin in flight of my imagination;
In my mind’s eye, I am building a cabin in the center of the woodlands,
Losing myself inside the world of my dreams-
In the center of my delusions I am the last person alive on this planet
Accompanied only by the deer, and birds hovering about-
Colorfully contrasting with the sky-
I listen with care to voices only I can hear-
Once terrorizing me, ordering me to take my life have transformed to
Hymns of splendor and radiance, carrying me away to another universe-
I remember the days when the sounds of car engines roaring,
Angry voices shouting and days of never abating,
gray skies with thunder clapping
While lightening struck as rain would fall- I was locked inside
Chambers of madness and confusion-
Though now I have escaped and
have cut the rope that once tied me to grim reality-
I know now that I have found myself and have abandoned the world that
Once had me trapped inside a kingdom of fear and sadness-
I am finding myself surrounded by the beauty of the forest
My tears have been carried downstream and
I can laugh with the sun as it appears from behind the mountains-
I am alone, but never lonely being in union with nature, though
The center of my own foundation-
Tonight the moon shall rise in its fullness once again and
My fantasies shall follow the path of comets and shooting stars
As I have lost myself inside the world of my thoughts for an eternity,
Darkness is fading- darkness of the world of my past apparition
And my own sun awaits me as I have unlocked the gate to the
Peaceable world of my creation, only to move forward and
Never to look behind…

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Dazzling

Within the fortress of my dreams
I paint the moon and a star upon my forehead as
I watch Saturn appear from
Behind the late evening's mist-
Where I am alone but never lonely-
At dawn I can see the sun rise
From behind the evergreens that
So magically decorate hills of fortune-
The sky at daybreak is inviting while
The nighttime sky is mysterious-
The sky in the land of my fantasies is dazzling,
Where I am alone but never lonely,
Watching stars emerge from behind clouds of prosperity, and
Venus and mars are aligned with the full moon
Illuminating the darkness-
on this mystical night.
Inside the world of my imagination-
I paint the sky a deep shade of cerulean blue and
The moon and star upon my forehead-
Giving me the utmost peace of mind-
Within the fortress of my dreams-
I shall be awake at daybreak to welcome the sunrise-
As I bid farewell to the nighttime's splendor-
My thoughts are always within the cosmos and
The sky of my own universe seemingly carries a tune-
A tune akin to the aura of Bach's Magnificat-
The star I have painted gives me peace of mind-
I am never lonely in the land of my delusions-
The nighttime sky is mysterious and
I carry inside my thoughts a vision that never leaves me.
Upon those sleepless nights I sing, dance and
Marvel at the beauty of my dream world's sky-
Surreptitiously dazzling-
At times when I feel threatened by others who wish me ill fate-
I just close my eyes and lose myself inside the
Universe of my fondest reverie,
Watch the planets circumvent the moon, and
That beautifully amazing castle in the sky,
Where I am free to enter and close the door behind me to behold
Another amazingly dazzling night alone- but never lonely-

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Across the Universe

The sun sets as the moon rises above the mountaintops –
Rhythmic music rings in the air as
Tambourines play within a band of angels in the sky-
Within a moment’s notice I would board a ship and
Journey across the universe as the sky turns a dark shade of cobalt blue,
I have escaped the world as the clock inside my mind keeps ticking-
Shooting stars and the rings of Saturn illuminate the darkness as
Angels sing their tuneful arias- here where life is eternal-
No pain to be felt, no deception and no fear…
The sky would rain crystalline tears of joy, as I have left
My home on earth eternally-and found a new home
Inside the world of my imaginings-
I am living within a world of my dreams from which
I care not to awaken.
I would dance to the tune of the chorus of angels,
Believing that this is reality- I know that as long as I believe,
I shall have not a care-
The sun has set and the moon has risen on this clear summer’s night
I am a lost soul and lost souls live forever-
Forever in this vast and endless sky,
Journeying across the universe- where the sun shall rise and
The sun shall set and then the moon shall illuminate the sky-
I shall dance and sing with the sorcery of angels forever within a dream.

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My Spirit

I have often felt alone and foreign
Within this place or world everyone calls home-
Perhaps a part of me had died many years back- although
My spirit lives on and looks upward towards the sky, past midnight
Perhaps to awaken in some other realm- Alive and unafraid,

I see the stars brightly shining against the midnight sky,
Far away but close to me in a unique way-
The rings of Saturn intrigue me and inside of the world of my dreams,
I have become as a dove, lifting my wings
To fly as I continue my fight to
Find a place in this world, as my spirit attentively watches over me-

It has been said that everyone is born with a spirit inside-
I was born with a mind, confused, frightened and divided- although
I was born with a spirit that is strong, brave and wise-
I lift my wings and fly, following the direction my spirit, as
My spirit is my only hope- My hope to find a life for myself.
Free from the apparition of the nightmares of my past-

Inside of my mind I know that if I follow the direction that
My spirit takes- enlightened by the sun, the moon and the stars-
Perhaps in the fondest of dreams, I will reawaken and fly away from my fears, and
Find a place in this world-After all, the stars, the moon and other planets
Are far away, in another realm, and unreachable.

The beauty of a spirit is that it never dies, and as my friend it will always be there,
Watching over me protecting me from harm as
I awaken in rebirth from the horrors of my past and from a distance in thought
I can still follow the mystical beauty
Of the moon and the stars in the midnight sky above me
And I know now that when clouds cover the sky and darkness prevails-
The sun shall always rise, I have found peace of mind, and my spirit lives on…

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Reverie

There exists a place within my most vivid dreams where suspicion is unheard of-
Where lack of trust had never shown its evil countenance-
I follow this meandering river beyond
This territory illuminated by daytime stars- without the sun
Shining its orange-hued light upon the path my spirit follows-
The moon, stars, the gilded pond-
Seemingly violet in hue when reflecting the light of the moon at midnight-
I am walking alongside the river of my imaginings
Serpentine and deep in some ways as the
Ubiquitous thoughts and voices only I can hear inside my mind-
This realm of meandering rays of light
I follow and nobody follows me
Safe within my solitude, I am-
Only seraphs paint the sky a pale shade of cerulean-blue
As certain as the flowers are growing alongside the path beside me-
Although today-I am not afraid-
Flowers are non- threatening as they have no souls- and
Those who have no souls can do no harm-
Alive in this land where trees grow upward to reach the sky-
I do not fear:
Yellow blossoms dance in
An early spring zephyr and the trees bow gently
Within a gentle gust of wind-
The light of the moon is dim but magical
Unlike the garish rays of the sun-
Alone inside this place of my reverie, I am-
I see my reflection in the crystal clarity of
A pond of azure-blue reflecting the starlight-
Safe inside the world of my delusiveness-
Separate from humanity, I have escaped far beyond the mountains rising behind me as
The cloud cover bars me from reality-
Here inside my own small world protected by the ramparts of nature-
I am alive and jovial- I am not afraid-
Just happy to be singing my own songs and to be speaking my own voice-
With nothing to fear- alone, and content to be alive inside this land of my dreams-
Just to be watching the sun set behind the mountains as darkness overshadows-
I am not afraid…

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Ocean Blue

Well you took me home
And you took me back
But deep down inside
The feeling just died and i
Couldnt see why
From indigo to royal blue
I travel far but no one will do
Anytime, anyplace
Every shape every face
Brings memories of you
Blue to be blue
To be blue
Ocean blue
Blue to be blue
To be blue
Ocean blue - ocean blue
Fair weather friends might drift away
When summer ends and skies burn grey
So I walk to the ocean
Pilot these shores
Just thinking of you
Its time we kissed the clouds goodbye
From now on its strictly blue sky
Come rain and shine
The outlook is still fine
Im thinking of you
Blue to be blue
To be blue
Ocean blue
Blue to be blue
To be blue
Ocean blue - ocean blue
Blue to be blue
To be blue
Ocean blue, ocean blue
Ocean blue, ocean blue
Ocean blue, ocean blue
Ocean blue, ocean ocean
Ocean, ocean
Blue to be blue
To be blue
Ocean blue
Blue to be blue
To be blue
Ocean blue - ocean blue
I stand at the head of the queue
Theres mutinys every crew
Wishin and wonderin bout you
Ocean blue

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The Essence of my Dreams

Losing myself in flight on an early summer's morning-
In flight, unaware of the direction-
Unaware of the time of day, I know that
I don't believe in heaven anymore-
In flight above deep blue mountains-
But not weary of the sun's rays attacking me-
Never touching the sun and
Never finding my rainbow,
A myriad of colors are painting the sky-
Though only inside the world of my imagination.
Losing myself in flight and wondering-
If I will ever find safety and peace of mind here in the sky,
Amongst the scattered clouds that surround me-
I could hide behind a cloud to escape reality-
Reality that has become none but a threat to my existence.
Within the figment of my imagination-
I have wings that carry me high above the mountains,
Above the treetops and the ocean turning green as
Its waves lap against the shore-
A multitude of colors are decorating the land below-
Trees are never green but violet in their hue and
That ocean- green but never blue as are the mountains-
In flight I am losing myself in so many different ways-
Separating myself from the world into which I was born-
My mind is creating visions of far away places and
Inside the fortress of my mind, God has given me wings to fly with,
Although I do not believe in heaven-
Within moments I find myself lying upon the ground-
The sky, cloud covered as rain begins to pour down upon me-
I am a lost, lone, and confused spirit-
Threatened by sounds of cars speeding up and down the road behind me-
And people shouting while thunder claps and lightening strikes.
Voices inside of mind are commanding me
To lift my wings and take flight once again-
However I am trapped, being unable to fly, my wings having been phantasmal-
Though inside my dreams I can swim the ocean, searching for safety and familiarity-
Perhaps I shall find myself an island amongst the sea-
But alas only in my dreams-
And perhaps the rain shall stop falling and a rainbow shall rise above the mountains-
Inside the world of my thoughts I shall paint the sky blue and cloudless,
Lift my wings and soar back into the sky and look down-
Down at this world where I have always wished to escape from-
Happiness shall be found within the world of my imagination-
Violet hued trees - their branches swaying in the wind
May someday give me shade as I close my eyes and dream,
Then I shall burst into song, in chorus with the voices inside my mind-
I have peace of mind now knowing I can be anyplace I can fathom-
Because I am a person who though never believed in heaven-
Strongly believes in the essence of my dreams…

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Purple Sun

I would often imagine the sun was purple and there existed another solar system
In some far off distance in this never ending universe-
If the sun did not shine upon our horizon and the moon was always nearby?
Clouds could be none but smoke emanating from our planet earth,
Having been caught on fire-
Fire from the hell beneath our feet,
Flames rising from this hell we have never seen?
I have been asked "Do you believe in heaven and
Is there a god who radiates goodness and answers all of our prayers?
Then I would ask "What made the sun turn purple? "
I hear a voice saying ‘The sun has never been purple-
Your delusions have cast shadows upon the horizon and
You are lost inside of a trance-
A trance where the world is burning and the moon is fading behind the clouds-"
I would wonder if I could only awaken from this frightening reverie and
I hear a siren loudening as a vehicle approaches me -all I can do is to glance upward-
I hear voices saying "We are coming to take you away-"
I feel metal clasping about my wrists as I look up into the sky-
Rain is falling now but will not quench the flames and I ask "Why? "
I hear a voice respond "Because you have escaped reality-"
Voices are calling me, voices are threatening and which are real and which are not
I cannot distinguish- What is truly burning are the tears falling from my eyes and I find
My spirit escaping to that other solar system in this never ending universe-
In this never ending universe, inside of the world of my fondest dreams,
In this place where the sun is purple and the moon is always nearby,
Rising above golden mountaintops, where there is no hell beneath my feet-
I hear the slamming of metal doors as sirens louden-
But all fear has abandoned me because in a moment I can lose my spirit inside
The world of my fantasies-
My spirit becomes a bird that can fly away to that place where
The sun shall be forever purple- never burning- perhaps my body shall burn in hell, but
My spirit shall dance amongst the clouds, singing songs of joy and freedom,
Because I believe in heaven and perhaps there is a god radiating goodness,
Answering my prayers and pouring rain down to quench those flames from hell-so
Perhaps that is why everybody is laughing, -
I am laughing and that laughter has set me and everybody free,
The moon and the clouds disappear behind the mountaintops and as another day begins,
The purple sun of my dreams appears on the horizon…

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Self Portrait

I can see this world in a different way- from this world I hid for many years.
Riding a ship towards some other galaxy,
Though only inside of my mind-
The rain would pour down upon the real world, and
In the mid winter the snow would fall, but
Lost in some other place in time, I only saw the sun.

I was a rare bird whose wings would carry me
High above the treetops, the mountains and
Even above the highest clouds,
Traveling far away from everybody and everything that was real.
Rain, sleet and hail would fall, though all I could see was a rainbow,
Glistening within the sky, high above the mountains-
I placed no trust in the people who walked upon the ground below,
Although it hardly mattered- I could always converse with those people
Who lived within the kingdom inside of my mind.

I would board a ship, its full sails to the wind,
Carrying me towards the world of my dreams-
Today I see the world in a different way-Now I see reality,
I see reality- hunger, war and people who threaten, and
All I can do is place my hands over my eyes, hoping to shut this cruel world out.

The ship I rode to some other place has been lost somewhere in the sky and
A rare bird, whose wings are now broken, I now see the world under a different light.
Somebody took me and locked me away last night and I have become
A prisoner inside of my own mind-upon that ship with fallen sails
I feel as if I am on a pathway headed towards nowhere-

I place my hands over my eyes. Attempting to hide from all that is real,
Unable to find peace of mind, unable to find my rainbow.
I find myself alone inside of an empty room, with no windows and a door that is locked-
I converse with the voices that speak to me inside of my mind-as
These, nobody can take them away from me and
They are all that is left of my dreams…

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They Live Here

There have often been times when I have shut the world out-
But never fear, for I carry a key on a string inside of my mind-
A key that unlocks that door to madness, as
Threatening people have often wondered
What goes on inside that chamber of lunacy?
What is happening inside of the mind of
This person we cannot reach?
This miraculous key I shall never lose,
For when I unlock this door I enter
This world of my spectacular fantasies or often called by others, delusions-
I have heard the voices of angels and
Voices of sorcerers' nightmares-
But also, the words of my favorite songs and
I have reached that palace in the sky where
I can converse with the people who live
Inside the fortress of my mind-
Surrounded by a world of people I do not trust,
I often shut that world out and as I take that key
That hangs off of the string of my imagination
And I unlock that magical door that leads to
The community of friends who dwell inside of my mind-
That supernatural land that belongs to me alone-
And I am never alone because I carry my dream world with me
Every place that I travel, whether I travel near or far away,
I can always converse with these people who listen to me
And respond to their intimate conversation-
Softly intriguing and sometimes heart rendering -
I am the queen of this place I have created for myself,
Canonized a saint of my own salvation-
Other people in the surrounding outside world
May laugh, ridicule or simply not understand
Why I have escaped reality- and why I do not weep
Or do not seem destitute in my solitude- they do not own that extraordinary key
That unlocks the gate that leads to the land of my dreams-
And all that they can hear are cars dashing down the boulevard day and night,
And other everyday sounds on a typical day in their world of veracity-
Their tears may fall with the rain that never falls upon my world, and
In spite of what they believe-the meaning of the voices inside my mind,
They shall never know…

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Itmon

Nobody ever promised me
A patch of lilacs in the wintertime and
Pink clouds never truly rained
A river of tears-
I only promised myself the land of Itmon-
Something akin to a goddess or a saint
I would sit at the right hand of the holy octagon-
Fervently praying for my inner world to come alive-
Locked inside the chambers of madness and
Locked inside the confinement of my bedroom
For days my head would be lost in those pink clouds,
Even sometimes while they were raining
A fine mist of gold upon and before me-
My bed had become the ferryboat guiding me through the bleakness of
My sordid nightmares to
This mesmerizing world deemed as Itmon-
I am alive inside this far away place, though
Truly not so far away-
The voices inside of my mind, commanding-
Giving me orders day in and day out-
My closest companions whose orders
I feel inclined to obey-
Running far away from the voices of my past where
The planet earth has not been kind-
The land of Itmon is none but paradise-
Here I have come to know Kyt, my beloved,
Donning flaxen hair and eyes of
Cyanotic blue-
Hypnotizing me with her glance and
Charming me with her smile-
Taking me by the hand and leading me into
The magical land of Itmon-
This place where nobody feels despair and where
We lose ourselves within our dreams-
Pink clouds turning lavender at night fall-
Snow never falls in this land of my fantasies-
Fantasies have so abruptly transformed to reality-
Hand in hand Kyt and I have abandoned the demons of
Our squalid pasts and we have entered this fairytale place of our
Wildest dreams to remain forever bonded-
Nobody ever promised me inner peace-
Nobody ever sang to me the song of a nightingale-
As an inhabitant of this planet I was so rudely born in
Nobody ever understood or comprehended-
So I mounted my proud unicorn and fled into the sunrise-
Dismounting when I reached that path
Paved before me-
That path paved in platinum, which by nature guided me
Into the magnificent land of Itmon-
I see mountains of many colors-
Before whirlpools of waters of deep cobalt blue-
I stand stalwart besides tall reeds, viridian hued-
I am very much alive in this unique place of my dreams which
Has rapidly become my only reality-
Sing with me, Kyt, the song of a nightingale- for
I hear faint words of alien people saying that
I have lost my sanity and am in a wretched state-
I have never been a happier person alive-
I have lost myself inside the world of my dreams forever-
My dreams are reality and yesterday’s reality has vanished and
Looking into those eyes of Kyt’s-
Compelling and hypnotic as in my fondest dreams-
Eyes of cerulean blue truly spellbinding as are as always
The voices inside my mind commanding-
I have a home that only I can envision-
I sit on the right side of the holy octagon and
Thank the Goddess that rules this fine land for
Making my dreams come alive,
My fantasies are my only true reality now, as I
Walk that pathway paved in platinum before me
Into lavender skies and whirlpools of my destiny,
Abandoning my past forever-
Only to see ahead and to look forward
Without looking behind me and
Without ever turning back…

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Palace in the Sky

Forever lost inside my own world-never to come out of hiding
I am building palaces in the sky though I can only see the stars.
I can only see the stars, and
The quarter moon's light shining dimly upon the horizon
Casting its shadows upon the places of my dreams-
How I wish to escape the misfortunes of life upon this planet and
Make my home inside a palace somewhere in the sky.
I had built a million palaces, so it seems-
Every day and every night, I find myself rapidly losing my grasp upon
What is real and what is not- I am running a marathon toward someplace
Between the land where grasses and flowers grow and the
Trees, from the ground reaching upward to touch the clouds,
I can feel the gentleness of the late spring's breeze
Blowing against my cheeks, damp from tears that have I have cried, as
This world has not been kind to me.
People are heartless, and only laugh when I am weeping,
Looking into my eyes reading my thoughts, and
Ridiculing me as I converse with the voices inside of my mind,
Which have become my only consoling realities while inside this world of my fantasies,
I have become a dove with broken wings-which with deep gratefulness can still fly.
Lost inside some sort of trance, I am building palaces in the sky.
Placid breezes rustle the leaves upon the trees, almost making music-
Creating tunes about nature, peace of mind and are never threatening-
However, I know that one day these trees will all be cut down to fabricate homes
For thousands of people- people who have no heart or no spirit of patience or kindness
So I know that I must continue building my palaces in the sky.
Summer storms shall rip across the sky and I know I must use all my strength
To stay alive so I may lift my broken wings to find a palace which I have built-
The quarter moon is casting its light upon the world and about the sky-
I am glancing repeatedly towards the sky searching for my palace, my home-
Flying bravely about to the best of my ability, on
My endless search for freedom and safety, praying to a God I am not certain that exists-
My hope is to see my golden palace glistening beneath the light of the quarter moon,
All I can see are the stars- what lurks behind those stars I may never know,
But I shall continue to fight the clouds and build my palaces, my castles.
May the stars illuminate the darkness and guide me towards some redeeming veracity,
Even if I never find my palace- in the meantime I shall keep on
Looking upward and forward and even if my dreams never do come true-
I know I can always continue to travel about the sky and I know that
I shall forever behold the splendor of the moon and always count upon the stars
To elucidate the direction upon which I travel and for always be my guiding lights…

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My Lament

Lightening has stricken at the wrong place and at the
Wrong time- inducing flames that are rising in all directions,
Capturing my tormented spirit as I lose my grasp on reality-
As my sanity escapes, my thoughts sink into bedlam.
Snakes constrict my mutilated soul which gasps for breath, terrified,
Though this could all be none but a night terror, I silently scream-

My tears, are cried for all of this time that this world has been a
Liar to me, although copious, cannot extinguish the flames,
Though phantasmal as the world that has trapped me inside,
Are burning down the pillar of strength-
Once rock-solid giving me the strength to persevere-

Lightening, ill fated as the storm that consumes me
Has stricken once again-
I cannot pursue my destination, as I have no place on this planet,
This world where people climb mountains to complete
Their journeys of fortune, fame and success-
I ride bareback upon a comet in some imagined universe, as
I escape to that world of my dreams.

Even here inside the only place I have once deemed a safe haven
I can still see lightening strike upon the horizon-
I have come to the realization, as a torrent of rain begins to fall,
That I must hold onto all of my dreams as
These dreams could be all I have left to
Keep me from drowning in the abyss of veracity…

Lightening has stricken once again and it hardly matters this time, as
I have finally escaped to that world of my own- for an eternity-
As flames rise in a distance, I laugh…
Safe and alone, here- lost although in an innocuous manner in a world of my own
Happy to be alive in some imagined universe, above the storm clouds
Having escaped reality before the rain begins to fall-

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In This Moment

Light is dim
Although in this moment
Light is not a welcome entity-
My mind wants to hide itself
Within the darkness of
This very early summer morning-
In this moment, I foresee no serenity and
I hear voices screaming while
In the fortress of this room
I know I am the only one present.
If only my bed, here where I lay, were a ship, I would journey years backward
To the place I lived in at all times many decades ago-
Now I know that land was non existent, even though
At the time it was my only reality.
In this moment, my only reality is within this room
Where the light is dim and
Outside this window, where the shades are pulled halfway down,
A world surrounds me-a world I cannot call my home.
Here within the place of my thoughts,
There exists a sea cobalt blue in its hue
A sea of tranquility, although it seems as if
All tranquility has just been shattered-
Even though the voices I hear screaming are terrifying and unreal-
The voice of reality is dimmer.
Threatening voices and this bed in which I lie is a boat
Now in the midst of a storm at sea, and although
I can foresee no destiny-here where I lie resting,
All is familiar to me while the real world outside is foreign, and
A threat to my existence.
So here in this moment, I close my eyes to all that I fear and I know that momentarily
I shall drift off to sleep and dream of the past-
Where I lived inside my own world of bliss and harmony-
Here In this very moment where the light of reality is dim,
My eyes are closed and I am sailing upon my magical ship,
Back to the time where fantasy brought me only peace of mind
Unaware of the day I would awaken alive in a planet they call "Earth"
Where my imaginary ship would overturn and I would find myself
Drowning in a sea of madness where there exists no recourse to fear,
In this moment where light has never been dimmer…

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Magic

Fear, anger, mistrust and nearly
Half a century of
Living in a world unfamiliar
To all but myself-
Has left me in dismay and in solitude-
Tomorrow is another day where
My morning shall be
Walking in the darkness, although
Moments away from sunrise and
Knowing that within a few hours
As I sleep- my mind shall become aware-
As if lightening has struck in some
Magical way-Fear, anger and
Mistrust shall disappear in a moment’s notice-
A different sort of sun shall rise
For me alone, shining light upon my kaleidoscopic world-
Black skies transform to cobalt blue as
A hurricane of sorts shall blow the sinister clouds away-
I shall see a rainbow rise from
Behind mountains of madness and
As the moon in its fullness disappears behind
Blossoming trees and I regain my sanity and hope,
Those alien voices shall be silenced-
Fear, anger and mistrust are hiding deep inside of a phantasmal river,
Rapidly receding and it shall only be days before
That river overflows and washes over me,
I can see those dismal clouds returning-
And all I can do is to remember words of wisdom telling me to
Grasp firmly onto those fleeting feelings of peace, hope and
Focus on the clarity of the skies above-
Feelings are so like thunderclouds- and
Finding one’s rainbow is a rarity- when lightening has struck your mind-
When feelings of fear and rage are inborn-
One never knows when the rain shall begin to fall again-
Voices that I hear are not real, and all I can do is dream
While the rain is falling until lightening strikes again-
Skies clear and although skies of cobalt blue so magnificent
Are in passing as is that phantasmal river before it overflows-
Perhaps in a different light it shall wash my tears away and hope shall remain, that
That magical sun shall someday rise for me alone and never set…

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