Flamingo

Proud and brawny you stand-
Alone but never lonely, as the sun appears on the horizon-
Your wings- magenta hued and
Your legs, long, stately and strong-
Leaves on the trees are feather-like and blossoming, though ever so slightly-
Spring is arriving early this year.
Being none but a Flamingo, The pond in which you stand,
Your shadow glancing at the sky,
Cobalt blue in its hue and cloudless-
You have not a care in the world.
I have been often told of my strength and courage,
Though not always proud-
Being human, I can foresee my destiny and
Fear more than storms, and other animals in the wild
That could harm me.
I was born under a different star than
Other people have been-
I live inside a world of my delusions,
So many have told me, although I do not care to believe-
The sun is rising above the mountains.
My dream would be to lift my wings-
If I owned them, and fly away from all that I fear,
But I have no place to go-
If only I could get inside of your mind and
Be alone to appreciate none but the waters I stand in,
The mountains behind me and the splendor of the rising and
Setting of the sun?
I have been compared to a bird with broken wings that cannot fly, or
A lion trapped within a cage- with no way to escape my doubts-
As I watch the sun disappear beyond the horizon at midnight
I fall asleep and begin to dream- in my dream I fly above the world so vast,
Without a care in the world and lost inside the world of my fantasies-
My dream is never to awaken- spring is arriving early this year and
To my dismay, the sun shall rise early tomorrow and alas, I shall awaken to
A world that has not been kind to me, as I open my eyes to a new day once more….

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The Essence of my Dreams

Losing myself in flight on an early summer's morning-
In flight, unaware of the direction-
Unaware of the time of day, I know that
I don't believe in heaven anymore-
In flight above deep blue mountains-
But not weary of the sun's rays attacking me-
Never touching the sun and
Never finding my rainbow,
A myriad of colors are painting the sky-
Though only inside the world of my imagination.
Losing myself in flight and wondering-
If I will ever find safety and peace of mind here in the sky,
Amongst the scattered clouds that surround me-
I could hide behind a cloud to escape reality-
Reality that has become none but a threat to my existence.
Within the figment of my imagination-
I have wings that carry me high above the mountains,
Above the treetops and the ocean turning green as
Its waves lap against the shore-
A multitude of colors are decorating the land below-
Trees are never green but violet in their hue and
That ocean- green but never blue as are the mountains-
In flight I am losing myself in so many different ways-
Separating myself from the world into which I was born-
My mind is creating visions of far away places and
Inside the fortress of my mind, God has given me wings to fly with,
Although I do not believe in heaven-
Within moments I find myself lying upon the ground-
The sky, cloud covered as rain begins to pour down upon me-
I am a lost, lone, and confused spirit-
Threatened by sounds of cars speeding up and down the road behind me-
And people shouting while thunder claps and lightening strikes.
Voices inside of mind are commanding me
To lift my wings and take flight once again-
However I am trapped, being unable to fly, my wings having been phantasmal-
Though inside my dreams I can swim the ocean, searching for safety and familiarity-
Perhaps I shall find myself an island amongst the sea-
But alas only in my dreams-
And perhaps the rain shall stop falling and a rainbow shall rise above the mountains-
Inside the world of my thoughts I shall paint the sky blue and cloudless,
Lift my wings and soar back into the sky and look down-
Down at this world where I have always wished to escape from-
Happiness shall be found within the world of my imagination-
Violet hued trees - their branches swaying in the wind
May someday give me shade as I close my eyes and dream,
Then I shall burst into song, in chorus with the voices inside my mind-
I have peace of mind now knowing I can be anyplace I can fathom-
Because I am a person who though never believed in heaven-
Strongly believes in the essence of my dreams…

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Shadow of my Spirit

Shadows appear and disappear-
Faces behind trees are looking and I never knew,
I never believed in closeness being safe and
Eyes opened towards the sky were said to
Perhaps be taking in the beauty of the cherry blossoms or
Following the pathway of the wild geese in flight-
That is what they say and I would never ask because
Eyes opened to the sky are only open momentarily until
They are cast downward, downward ogling the pathway of my footsteps?
Shadows appear and disappear and faces I don't know
Are none but a threat as the pathway of their eyes
Follow the direction that I walk and I never knew, and
I never believed in closeness being safe-
My eyes are opened towards the sky
Only taking in the spirit of my soul
Dancing someplace in the heavens hoping
That this pathway I walk is a safe place to be?
Shadows appear and disappear and
Even when shadows disappear-
I still believe that all eyes are upon me-
Wild geese in flight and blossoming flowers
Can be beautiful to see but they have no souls-
My soul, my spirit lives deep inside my inner core and
It never felt safe and still to this day
Feels like a raging animal locked inside of a cage
Unable to escape? Unable to escape a body on the run-
On the run from a world that only wishes me harm-
My dream has always been to set my spirit free and to
Become a bird and lift my wings to fly high above
In the sky, journeying through the clouds and to touch the sun,
Then find a safe place where no one could take my thoughts away-but
As a bird I find myself with broken wings, and my own shadow is cast upon the ground
Pilfered by evil people who capture my thoughts within their sinister grasps and
This world is not my home-shadows appear and disappear- my own included-
I can see it upon the gravel pathway lying still- I wait until it disappears and
I find myself alone-alone and safe- a bird with broken wings who has lost her shadow but
I am safe in my solitude and when all shadows disappear, I finally have nothing to fear-
My eyes are opened to the sky watching the wild geese in flight-
They have nothing to fear, soaring high up in the sky and they can escape reality as
Their wings are not broken and blossoming flowers may be beautiful and they remain safe because God did not give them spirits to feel the fear?

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Everywhere I Go

Today is quiet except for the sounds of my footsteps,
Cardinals singing and wild geese calling from the sky above-
Trees are my foremost companions and
Roses and azaleas blossoming would
Open their petals within a gust of wind-
It seems as if for the moment they are
Looking into my eyes and was almost as if they are laughing, and
Their laughter is ringing in the humid late spring air-echoing throughout
The fortress of my mind… Everywhere that I go
Nature seems to be calling and
The trees, flowers, rabbits, deer and squirrels
Are my sole companions and I am feeling free as
I can imagine, as I am the last person alive upon the face of the earth-
Animals and plants in the wild are my friends and
People have been none but intruders,
Following every step that I take but today
I can call myself the queen of the woods and
I call myself the one who rules and controls-
I am the one who can dream and inside the
World of my dreams I can fly and inside the
World of my fantasies I can run with the deer-
Often I have wondered if I were not truly human as
Humans have always been a threat to my existence,
Lacking empathy, true love and congeniality?
I have heard and read about dreams coming true and
Fantasies becoming reality- in books I read as a child and
Fairy tales my mother read me many years ago?
Today is quiet except for the sounds of my footsteps and
I believe I hear the wild geese calling as they fly across the sky above-
As the late spring's breeze blows I lift my own imaginary wings and fly-
I know it is all within a reverie from which I hope I shall never awaken- and if I do,
I shall only run forward, not backward, never looking behind at
The past where people have hurt, slighted and scorned me?
I see treetops scraping the sky and as I watch the sun set I totally lose myself in a trance-
Past this horizon is the place I long to live where animals and plants
Find their homes, free from hatred, pain and cruelty and
I remember reading in a storybook as a very young child, "close your eyes and after you
Fall asleep, one day you shall awaken and all of your dreams shall come true-"and
I believe I have been set free, as I walk towards the horizon in every step that I take-

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Paradise Found

I am lost inside
A world of my own,
A world that I painted inside of my thoughts
Within a figment of my imagination-
I have taken myself on a journey to a place
I call paradise-
Inside this place I call paradise
I am lost,
Inside this place I call paradise,
I am alone-
Surrounded by trees and mountains,
Violet in hue – wildflowers would grow and
Grass grows high, caressing my ankles
In an almost loving way-
Inside the world of my thoughts
I step inside this paradise I have found and as I
Lose myself within a dream,
In less than a moment’s time,
My imagination has succumbed
To this magical land of my delusions-
Towards this place where I shall forever remain-
I am lost, I am alone but here in this place I call paradise,
Surrounded by trees and mountains,
Violet in hue and where wildflowers grow and
Grass grows high-
In a strange sort of way, I am not really alone-
I have my thoughts, my dreams and my fantasies and
The voices only I can hear are my constant companions-
Birds, trees and forget-me- knots are truly my friends-
In all actuality, I am no longer lost as
I was in that world outside of my dreams
Within that world into which I was born-
In that world where people have always hurt, betrayed and lied to me-
It was inside that world I was truly lost and alone-
I shall never return to that world.
I have lost myself within a dream and in truth,
I have finally found who I truly am and as I listen to the singing
Of the nightingale, the water rushing in the creek below,
A gentle breeze rustling the leaves upon the trees and
As I watch the sun ascend over the mountains,
The deer running freely and
I begin to sing a song of freedom and peace of mind-
Now I know the true meaning of loss and loneliness-
That is being trapped inside a world laden with myriads of people
Who have and shall always hurt and betray one another, as
Every moment in time rapidly advances too fast to control-
As I glance upward towards this sky of azure-blue,
I lock that phantasmal door that separates fantasy from reality-
Delighted to say that this fantasy has become my new reality and
I have found myself within the world of my dreams,
Surrounded by trees and mountains, violet in hue and
Where wildflowers grow plentifully and
When the sun descends behind the mountains and darkness overcomes
Here in my paradise- I can begin to count the stars and
Dance with the moon on the horizon- to the tune of
The singing of the nightingale-alive in my very own heaven and paradise,
Not lost but found and never again alone-
Here inside the world of my fantasies,
Where I have been reborn, within this magical land of my dreams,
Where I shall always sing a song of freedom as I joyfully wish upon a star-

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People Who Died

Oak trees are tall and
Reach for the sky,
Blossoming dogwood
Can be pink or white and irises, yellow
Evergreens gently sway in a summer breeze,
As I look towards the sky, cloud covered or
Sometimes a deep shade of blue-
I feel alive and lost inside a world of my imaginings-
I am alone in a world where many loved ones have passed-
My father, warm, and strong and had a zest for life,
My mother sometimes happy, more often sad,
My grandmother, eccentric and funny and my aunt-
In my eyes, special and like a mother to me-
Oak trees are tall and reach for the sky,
Blossoming dogwood and irises, yellow-
It is the springtime of the year and I wonder
Where to have my loved ones departed?
Beneath the ground, near the roots of blossoming flowers, or
Up in the sky, towards where tall oak trees are reaching?
I see a rainbow on the horizon, and
The sun, golden, rising above the mountains-
Clouds giving way to a sky, cobalt blue in its hue-
Where and if people have souls or spirits,
Some do not know for certain, but I know, I am never alone,
Although my loved ones are amongst the departed-
Oak trees, tall, dogwoods blossoming in the early spring this year and
Evergreens shall be present for always-
Inside of my mind, my loved ones have never died,
I can still hear their voices in deep conversation-
I can almost feel their warm embraces- I am never alone-
I am never alone because I believe in spirits and carry them inside
My heart and my mind everywhere I go-
I see their faces in every blossoming flower,
Their voices echoing in every breeze-and one day
We shall dance together on the horizon, because I believe that
People really do not die as fond memories shall carry their spirits home-
And home is wherever I walk, what I see and in the beauty of nature, while
The rainbow on the horizon reflects that everlasting love in our souls…

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Deliverance

It is nearly midnight; I can read the clock inside of my mind.
I can see through the darkness
Wicked hands reaching forward- with dagger- like fingers-
Sharp and threatening-
I am surrounded by vicious animals,
Hungry snakes and people who wish to harm me?
I would open that golden door to freedom if I could, if only to
Escape this terrifying world that
Surrounds me- I have no key and the lock
Is hanging off some invincible being's wrist as would a bracelet-
Tinted gold as the door that bars me, and striking- though
Not beautiful but hideously distorted-
I can still read the clock inside of my mind
Which I can read through the bleakest darkness- I see a door to freedom although
The lock and most likely, the key have been lost- All eyes are upon me and
All voices are threatening; all beings wishing me harm are loudening-
I cannot escape through this door toward unreachable liberty,
I hope I am dreaming and this is none but a nightmare-
This world is closing in on me from many directions- as my tongue forks out,
I still wonder why is the whole world against me?
It is past midnight and I foresee no escape from doomsday except for
That door to freedom that is locked and I own no key-
The lock and key would be my saviors - I don't believe in a higher being-
Evil eyes are upon me; I have come to full awareness that
I could awaken and darkness would still prevail,
Even though the sun is brilliant on a cloudless day, only because
Present in my awakened state I foresee no door opening toward freedom-
The sun is shining, and there is a rainbow on the horizon-
But I see my shadow fading into bleak darkness and despair-
Voices inside of my mind are commanding and I know-
I know and don't need to be told-
My whole world is darkening because since the day I was born into this world,
I have been a victim of abuse, confusion and disorientation and
The lights inside the womb that carried me burnt out before my birth and
My whole life has been a nightmare, and here I can no longer persevere, so I shall
Escape and follow my shadow, as I light a candle illuminating the world of my fantasies
Hopefully to guide me towards salvation…

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Flightless Bird

My world is caged in,
I can not fly away,
I can not soar in the clouds,
With the wind and the angels.
I am a flightless bird with clipped wings.

I sit here day in and day out,
I watch so many people coming in and going out,
They stay here so happy so proud,
And they leave again without any care in the world.
I am a flightless bird with clipped wings.

I remember each face,
I remember them all saying hi waiting for a reply of hello,
They don’t understand how it feels,
They don’t understand what it’s like.
To be a flightless bird with clipped wings.

Wings tucked and head held high I sit here,
I wear a smile on my face and I keep myself beautiful and happy,
But inside all I can see are the bars that surround me,
I can’t get past them I can only sit.
I am a flightless bird with clipped wings.

My world is a room full of people myself the center of attention,
Although I should not complain for this is my life,
And I make them smile I make the children laugh and look in my eyes,
And sometimes they look into my eyes and see my world through my eyes.
They know I am a flightless bird with clipped wings.

They’ll stand and watch me as I walk around in my cage,
They’ll be there with me and try to understand.
Then they’ll have to leave and they’ll look over their shoulders.,
And they look into my eyes one last time,
Before they fly away into the world to bring back stories for the flightless bird with clipped wings,

They are my connection to the world,
They show me what they see through their eyes,
They show me wonders and beauties of a world I’ve never seen,
They are my window to the outside,
In their mind I can be a flightless bird in a world of wonder and of flight.

I am only a small bird in a cage that sits in a hotel,
Sits and watches as the world around me fly’s by,
I wait for the occasional stranger who looks into my eyes with knowing,
Maybe a person who is like me like a flightless bird in a cage,
They are my wings, the wings of a flightless bird who’s wings are clipped.

I sit in my own world and watch as it all moves by,
Day after day I watch and I say what is expected of me,
I sit in my world and I go on my own steady journey,
A journey in which I am a silent observer,
A flightless bird with clipped wings in a world of ever changing skies.

By: Bethany Maxwell

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Creation

Shades of cerulean blue are outstanding in the very early morning’s sky-
Darkness is fading as the sun awakens-
The moon was full last night, though still peering through the trees-
Reddish-orange foliage almost glowing as would a bonfire,
The tips of its flames touching the cumulus clouds, ever so gently- and
Ever so tenderly caressing the last star as it fades into the cosmos;
To my longing soul’s content, autumn has arrived and
I kick aside the colorful fallen leaves, as
I leisurely walk in my solitude, my thoughts as a nightingale on wings,
Begin in flight of my imagination;
In my mind’s eye, I am building a cabin in the center of the woodlands,
Losing myself inside the world of my dreams-
In the center of my delusions I am the last person alive on this planet
Accompanied only by the deer, and birds hovering about-
Colorfully contrasting with the sky-
I listen with care to voices only I can hear-
Once terrorizing me, ordering me to take my life have transformed to
Hymns of splendor and radiance, carrying me away to another universe-
I remember the days when the sounds of car engines roaring,
Angry voices shouting and days of never abating,
gray skies with thunder clapping
While lightening struck as rain would fall- I was locked inside
Chambers of madness and confusion-
Though now I have escaped and
have cut the rope that once tied me to grim reality-
I know now that I have found myself and have abandoned the world that
Once had me trapped inside a kingdom of fear and sadness-
I am finding myself surrounded by the beauty of the forest
My tears have been carried downstream and
I can laugh with the sun as it appears from behind the mountains-
I am alone, but never lonely being in union with nature, though
The center of my own foundation-
Tonight the moon shall rise in its fullness once again and
My fantasies shall follow the path of comets and shooting stars
As I have lost myself inside the world of my thoughts for an eternity,
Darkness is fading- darkness of the world of my past apparition
And my own sun awaits me as I have unlocked the gate to the
Peaceable world of my creation, only to move forward and
Never to look behind…

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Locked Inside

I have often marveled at the glory of the sun,
When it rises above the trees in full bloom in the summertime-
Innocently gazing over the magnitude of its mysteriousness-
I could capture each moment within my cupped hands-
Each moment that its rays pirouette, casting its shadows
Upon the grass that is nearly laughing as it sparkles,
While it reflects in its dew each ray at the dawning of every new day-
I am alone every morning when I awaken to welcome
The miracle of each new day-I am alone as I hope and wish that
Someday I can be a part of this gift nature has bestowed upon this world-
Being in motion with the gentle breeze that rustles
The leaves on the oak and maple trees which I can see
For miles and miles until they reach the mountains on the horizon,
Then meeting with the sky-
The sky, cobalt blue in its hue and there, not a cloud to be seen-
I see the trees, the mountains and the splendor of the sun at daybreak-
I can see the dew upon the grass capturing the sunlight, as
Each ray reaches out as would a cherub with her arms outstretched-
I can feel the gentle summertime breeze lightly touching my arms
In an almost sentimental way-
But locked inside the dwelling of my own small world and inside of the
Tenement of what could be none but delusions-
This splendor before me- I can only perceive-
And today I believe I can also see a rainbow coloring the horizon outside-
Robins, cardinals, wild geese and finches flying about as if they have not a care,
If rain were falling, my tears would not be known to any others only because,
They are so copious they would hit the ground with the rhythm of the rain as it falls.
I believe that there are two worlds that exist- one God created and that is the
Magnificence of nature, and the other, being the dark would of my dreams.
I have often surmised that there exists a lock that keeps me barred from all that is real-
While to this lock, I have yet to find a key to unlock and open-
I fantasize that one day I will break free from the inner dwelling of my madness.
I would climb a mountain and touch the sun above the horizon if I could.
I have painted a mural inside of my mind of the vastness and loveliness of this planet-
So many times I have believed I have found that special key that
Unlocks the phantasmal gate that separates me from all that is real, but
It is all within a dream and I t has been said that dreams often don’t come true,
But there are those alive who don’t even have dreams to wish upon, and therefore-
I shall be a wild bird flying above this land, beholding nature’s beauty, until
I reach the sky and even if only in my dreams-
I know I have a soul and won’t give up hope-
And we all know that souls shall never die…

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Outside My Picture Window

It has been said that there is a world outside my picture window and
Beyond the trees I see everyday and the sky, sometimes overcast and
Other days, when the sun rises early- I can see the sky and have often wondered if
There exists another world within our universe- I know that
There exists a world inside of my mind and
My pupils are the windows into which
People would look if I were to venture outward?
Beyond the sky, and beyond the sun-
Beyond that world inside my mind,
I would never know where there exists a place for me-
Last night outside of my window
I could see the stars- stars mean different things to different people as
Does the sun, the trees and this whole world outside-
The world inside my mind revolves about
The sun that shines upon my own horizon and
As for this world outside, all I can do is look- and to
See a tree, perhaps a single cloud and the grass that grows-
I have shut my mind to the people who live beyond
The trees, clouds and the grass that I can see-
That window opens to the world inside of my thoughts-
I have just shut and pulled the curtain to discourage all intruders-
I am lying by my window in total darkness now as I place my hand over my eyes,
Shutting out reality and now I can see mountains, flowering trees and
A creek flowing in which I can see my reflection and
I am running upon the grass that grows beneath my feet-
I believe I heard music playing inside the fortress of my mind-
It has been said there is a world outside and I have pulled the curtain
To the window once opened to veracity-
Darkness has never looked as beautiful as I am safe here in my solitude-
Even when the stars are shining and the sky is such a magnificent sight to see-
No place is as exquisite as the creek that runs through my inner space and
The sun inside the world of my thoughts that shines upon my horizon?
The stars are far away and all that is real, though just outside my picture window
I perceive as too far away for me to reach- I would touch the stars and I could be a dove
That can lift my wings and fly away from all that threatens, but only inside my dreams-
Children sing songs and read fairy tales and they believe and I believe that
The sun shines light upon their worlds and
Someday their dreams shall blossom as has mine and shall become their homes-
Home is the safe place inside a person's mind, not within the madding crowd that
Exists outside my picture window- even if the stars are always there- and
That unique and special sun shall just keep on shining upon the world of my dreams….

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Alive In The World

I want to live in the world, not inside my head
I want to live in the world, I want to stand and be counted
With the hopeful and the willing
With the open and the strong
With the voices in the darkness
Fashioning daylight out of song
And the millions of lovers
Alive in the world
I want to live in the world, not behind some wall
I want to live in the world, where I will hear if another voice should call
To the prisoner inside me
To the captive of my doubt
Who among his fantasies harbors the dream of breaking out
And taking his chances
Alive in the world
To open my eyes and wake up alive in the world
To open my eyes and fully arrive in the world
With its beauty and its cruelty
With its heartbreak and its joy
With it constantly giving birth to life and to forces that destroy
And the infinite power of change
Alive in the world
To open my eyes and wake up alive in the world
To open my eyes and fully arrive in the world
To open my eyes and wake up alive in the world
To open my eyes and fully arrive in the world

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Self Portrait

I can see this world in a different way- from this world I hid for many years.
Riding a ship towards some other galaxy,
Though only inside of my mind-
The rain would pour down upon the real world, and
In the mid winter the snow would fall, but
Lost in some other place in time, I only saw the sun.

I was a rare bird whose wings would carry me
High above the treetops, the mountains and
Even above the highest clouds,
Traveling far away from everybody and everything that was real.
Rain, sleet and hail would fall, though all I could see was a rainbow,
Glistening within the sky, high above the mountains-
I placed no trust in the people who walked upon the ground below,
Although it hardly mattered- I could always converse with those people
Who lived within the kingdom inside of my mind.

I would board a ship, its full sails to the wind,
Carrying me towards the world of my dreams-
Today I see the world in a different way-Now I see reality,
I see reality- hunger, war and people who threaten, and
All I can do is place my hands over my eyes, hoping to shut this cruel world out.

The ship I rode to some other place has been lost somewhere in the sky and
A rare bird, whose wings are now broken, I now see the world under a different light.
Somebody took me and locked me away last night and I have become
A prisoner inside of my own mind-upon that ship with fallen sails
I feel as if I am on a pathway headed towards nowhere-

I place my hands over my eyes. Attempting to hide from all that is real,
Unable to find peace of mind, unable to find my rainbow.
I find myself alone inside of an empty room, with no windows and a door that is locked-
I converse with the voices that speak to me inside of my mind-as
These, nobody can take them away from me and
They are all that is left of my dreams…

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Early Spring

Spring seems to have come early this year- I have always welcomed blossoming flowers,
Longer days and the fresh warm air outdoors,
Perhaps the early timing exacerbated the fear, and is reminiscent of the
Time when my life took a turn towards terror and misery-
I saw a daffodil yesterday in full bloom- yet in the first week of February,
On that day, as in extreme frequency, my thinking was out of touch.

Today my heart is screaming, desperate for some peace and comfort,
While birds are singing outside as a gentle breeze blows as in a whisper,
Even trees are budding while everyone is laughing, although
My spirit is weeping as rage sears my gut, terrified of the world surrounding-

The pain of falling upon the hard ground this morning does not hurt me as much as
The agony I feel that emanates from all of the people that wish me harm-
Inside the world of my thoughts, everyone who is laughing is laughing at me- and
I would kill them all if I were not so afraid.

I am always shouting, though in silence at the cruel people that surround me,
No one can understand the severe pain of feeling persecuted every time that
I step outside and the inner irate confusion of
Not knowing what is real from what is not.

My heart and soul bleed anger and tears apart the person I am inside and
Even the gentle spring like breeze will not dry the tears I weep inside or outside,
I hardly know who I am anymore- the people in this world have threatened me and
As beautiful as all that surrounds me today- there is no place for me to hide.

The lone daffodil I see evokes a smile upon my face for the moment.
I would pick it and take it home with me but if I did,
It would wither and perish as has I believe my inner spirit has done,

Spring has always been my favorite time of year, although
Its arrival may be somewhat too soon, just as
I fear the death of my soul might have been premature-
I see myself as a lone flower that has blossomed in mid winter and
Is confused to be outside amongst shorter days, and barren trees,

If spring’s rain begins to fall my hope is that is shall wash away my tears and
Quench the flame that burns inside of me, then amidst longer days and that gentle breeze,
I can be as a bird, singing amongst other birds happy to be free of the rage that once
Separated me from the rest of the world as I lift my wings and fly high above the trees,
Looking down upon a world so exquisite which is no longer a threat to my existence?

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Across the Universe

The sun sets as the moon rises above the mountaintops –
Rhythmic music rings in the air as
Tambourines play within a band of angels in the sky-
Within a moment’s notice I would board a ship and
Journey across the universe as the sky turns a dark shade of cobalt blue,
I have escaped the world as the clock inside my mind keeps ticking-
Shooting stars and the rings of Saturn illuminate the darkness as
Angels sing their tuneful arias- here where life is eternal-
No pain to be felt, no deception and no fear…
The sky would rain crystalline tears of joy, as I have left
My home on earth eternally-and found a new home
Inside the world of my imaginings-
I am living within a world of my dreams from which
I care not to awaken.
I would dance to the tune of the chorus of angels,
Believing that this is reality- I know that as long as I believe,
I shall have not a care-
The sun has set and the moon has risen on this clear summer’s night
I am a lost soul and lost souls live forever-
Forever in this vast and endless sky,
Journeying across the universe- where the sun shall rise and
The sun shall set and then the moon shall illuminate the sky-
I shall dance and sing with the sorcery of angels forever within a dream.

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My Spirit

I have often felt alone and foreign
Within this place or world everyone calls home-
Perhaps a part of me had died many years back- although
My spirit lives on and looks upward towards the sky, past midnight
Perhaps to awaken in some other realm- Alive and unafraid,

I see the stars brightly shining against the midnight sky,
Far away but close to me in a unique way-
The rings of Saturn intrigue me and inside of the world of my dreams,
I have become as a dove, lifting my wings
To fly as I continue my fight to
Find a place in this world, as my spirit attentively watches over me-

It has been said that everyone is born with a spirit inside-
I was born with a mind, confused, frightened and divided- although
I was born with a spirit that is strong, brave and wise-
I lift my wings and fly, following the direction my spirit, as
My spirit is my only hope- My hope to find a life for myself.
Free from the apparition of the nightmares of my past-

Inside of my mind I know that if I follow the direction that
My spirit takes- enlightened by the sun, the moon and the stars-
Perhaps in the fondest of dreams, I will reawaken and fly away from my fears, and
Find a place in this world-After all, the stars, the moon and other planets
Are far away, in another realm, and unreachable.

The beauty of a spirit is that it never dies, and as my friend it will always be there,
Watching over me protecting me from harm as
I awaken in rebirth from the horrors of my past and from a distance in thought
I can still follow the mystical beauty
Of the moon and the stars in the midnight sky above me
And I know now that when clouds cover the sky and darkness prevails-
The sun shall always rise, I have found peace of mind, and my spirit lives on…

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I Stand Alone

Now I've told you this once before
You can't control me
If you try to take me down you're gonna break
Now I feel your every nothing that you're doing for me
I'm picking you outa me
you run away
I stand alone
Inside
I stand alone
You're always hiding behind your so called goddess
So what you don't think that we can see your face
Resurrected back before the final fallen
now they've arrest utill I can make my own way
I'm not afraid of fading
I stand alone
Feeling your sting down inside of me
I'm not dying for it
I stand alone
Everything that I believe is fading
I stand alone
Inside
I stand alone
And now its my time (now its my time)
It's my time to dream (my time to dream)
Dream of the sky (dream of the sky)
Make me believe that this place is invaded
By the poison in me
Help me decide if my fire will burn out
Before you can breathe
Breathe into me
I stand alone
Inside
I stand alone
Feeling your sting down inside of me
I'm not dying for it
I stand alone
Everything that I believe is fading
I stand alone
Inside
I stand alone
Inside
I stand alone
Inside
I stand alone
Inside

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The SUn is Calling

The sun is
Calling me- I do not hear- though
Only the flapping of the wings of the
Canadian wild geese and the
Far away footsteps of
The intruders who follow me-
I can faintly hear the
Rays of the sun in the distance screaming their doleful cries,
Masked by the motion of the branches of the wild oak and cedar trees
As they shiver in the early morning’s draft-
Water rushes down the creek that adorns the trail
Beside which I walk-
Robins and cardinals chant their early morning litany-
Deer stand stalwart close to the path ahead of me-
I hear footsteps behind me as I turn my head although
All I can see is the sky-
Inside of my mind I have built a sanctuary, and
A small cabin in which to hide-
As I walk deeper into the thicket,
I begin to lose myself into another place in time-
Thee sun is calling me- I do not hear-
I have closed my eyes to the world around me and
Have lost myself inside of the world of my dreams
This world where I am omnipotent and no one is
Allowed to enter-
Somehow I find I cannot escape the grip that
This planet has made upon me-
The grip of ill fate and of mistrust-
It is the intruders who follow me
That clash with the beauty of the sun,
The loveliness of the song of the wild, and
With the mystery of the woodlands-
I would fly close to the sun with the
Canadian wild geese if I only had the wings to
Lift me off of the ground and
Carry myself to some other universe where
I could in reality be omnipotent and not afraid to sing-
To carry the tunes that keep my spirit alive as I abandon
The fear that has so deeply injured my soul-
The rays of the sun are screaming and a lone nightingale
Sings its soprano solo-
I break into a run carrying with me inside the safe haven of my thoughts,
The refuge of my delusions- and my flagging grasp on reality-
The sun is calling me-
This time I hear, as I feel the strength of my character evolving-
I look upward and see more than the sky, but
That could-be heaven and the faces of angels, as
They look down upon me in awe and admiration- I realize that
I have nothing to fear-
As nobody can rob me of my thoughts or of my imaginings and
I have come to the realization that I have found that other universe, if only in
The sanctuary of my dreams…

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Reverie

There exists a place within my most vivid dreams where suspicion is unheard of-
Where lack of trust had never shown its evil countenance-
I follow this meandering river beyond
This territory illuminated by daytime stars- without the sun
Shining its orange-hued light upon the path my spirit follows-
The moon, stars, the gilded pond-
Seemingly violet in hue when reflecting the light of the moon at midnight-
I am walking alongside the river of my imaginings
Serpentine and deep in some ways as the
Ubiquitous thoughts and voices only I can hear inside my mind-
This realm of meandering rays of light
I follow and nobody follows me
Safe within my solitude, I am-
Only seraphs paint the sky a pale shade of cerulean-blue
As certain as the flowers are growing alongside the path beside me-
Although today-I am not afraid-
Flowers are non- threatening as they have no souls- and
Those who have no souls can do no harm-
Alive in this land where trees grow upward to reach the sky-
I do not fear:
Yellow blossoms dance in
An early spring zephyr and the trees bow gently
Within a gentle gust of wind-
The light of the moon is dim but magical
Unlike the garish rays of the sun-
Alone inside this place of my reverie, I am-
I see my reflection in the crystal clarity of
A pond of azure-blue reflecting the starlight-
Safe inside the world of my delusiveness-
Separate from humanity, I have escaped far beyond the mountains rising behind me as
The cloud cover bars me from reality-
Here inside my own small world protected by the ramparts of nature-
I am alive and jovial- I am not afraid-
Just happy to be singing my own songs and to be speaking my own voice-
With nothing to fear- alone, and content to be alive inside this land of my dreams-
Just to be watching the sun set behind the mountains as darkness overshadows-
I am not afraid…

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Miracle

When the sky turns deep purple in color and the mountains appear
An unfathomable shade of magenta-
I see the sunlight sparkling upon the shadows in the creek below.
Sunlight would reflect against crystalline stones and the
Grass is greener than the eyes of a goddess-
There is not a sound to be heard in this moment except for a
Gentle breeze singing a tunefully angelic aria-
When there is not a single person within miles of
This magical place where I have found my spirit dancing-
I know I have nothing to fear.
Looking up into this lavender-hued sky I can see a bird
Soaring above the mountains- its wings shaded a mesmerizing essence of blue and
The feathers on its tail, yellow as sunlight upon a sandy beach-
My utmost and only desire is to be that bird,
Flapping my wings in a gentle gust of wind and looking down upon
This magical world below- I have always been a dreamer.
I hear voices singing songs of freedom and of the mysticism of nature-
I see blossoming flowers of a variety of colors and
I hear voices whispering to me of the miracles of this moment-
I know within my heart and my mind that I am alone and
These voices that I hear are emanating from the depths of my own mind, when
Solitude has never appeared so amazingly striking.
I see that bird flying high up in the sky above and within moments
I have become that bird- flapping my own wings and
Gazing at this vibrant world below me,
For a moment I am the queen of the world and in the next moment,
A deity of the entire universe- Veracity is seemingly thousands of miles away.
I have heard voices of my past telling me I am none but a pauper in a wretched state or
None but a fool who has lost her sanity-in these words I have never believed.
As I continue this tour of this phantasmal space about me,
I know I have found myself a home and the world beyond can attempt to
Tear my soul apart but I know deep inside that this is my reality-
Perhaps others do not hear and see the sounds and the sights that I envision-
However as long as I believe in all that I hear and see within my own thoughts,
What even millions of other people believe does not matter- for it is these people
Whom I believe are in a wretched state, and are still trying to find themselves-
I am queen of my world and have locked the gate to that world's threatening dismay-
I follow my shadow into that deep purple sky and I know that
The shadow of my spirit shall live on forever. I shall keep on moving
Further into the land of my dreams, only to look forward and never turning back.

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Palace in the Sky

Forever lost inside my own world-never to come out of hiding
I am building palaces in the sky though I can only see the stars.
I can only see the stars, and
The quarter moon's light shining dimly upon the horizon
Casting its shadows upon the places of my dreams-
How I wish to escape the misfortunes of life upon this planet and
Make my home inside a palace somewhere in the sky.
I had built a million palaces, so it seems-
Every day and every night, I find myself rapidly losing my grasp upon
What is real and what is not- I am running a marathon toward someplace
Between the land where grasses and flowers grow and the
Trees, from the ground reaching upward to touch the clouds,
I can feel the gentleness of the late spring's breeze
Blowing against my cheeks, damp from tears that have I have cried, as
This world has not been kind to me.
People are heartless, and only laugh when I am weeping,
Looking into my eyes reading my thoughts, and
Ridiculing me as I converse with the voices inside of my mind,
Which have become my only consoling realities while inside this world of my fantasies,
I have become a dove with broken wings-which with deep gratefulness can still fly.
Lost inside some sort of trance, I am building palaces in the sky.
Placid breezes rustle the leaves upon the trees, almost making music-
Creating tunes about nature, peace of mind and are never threatening-
However, I know that one day these trees will all be cut down to fabricate homes
For thousands of people- people who have no heart or no spirit of patience or kindness
So I know that I must continue building my palaces in the sky.
Summer storms shall rip across the sky and I know I must use all my strength
To stay alive so I may lift my broken wings to find a palace which I have built-
The quarter moon is casting its light upon the world and about the sky-
I am glancing repeatedly towards the sky searching for my palace, my home-
Flying bravely about to the best of my ability, on
My endless search for freedom and safety, praying to a God I am not certain that exists-
My hope is to see my golden palace glistening beneath the light of the quarter moon,
All I can see are the stars- what lurks behind those stars I may never know,
But I shall continue to fight the clouds and build my palaces, my castles.
May the stars illuminate the darkness and guide me towards some redeeming veracity,
Even if I never find my palace- in the meantime I shall keep on
Looking upward and forward and even if my dreams never do come true-
I know I can always continue to travel about the sky and I know that
I shall forever behold the splendor of the moon and always count upon the stars
To elucidate the direction upon which I travel and for always be my guiding lights…

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